


I write my own future

by Yaspajo



Series: I write my own future [1]
Category: Columbine - Fandom, Eric Harris - Fandom
Genre: Columbine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 200,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22545529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaspajo/pseuds/Yaspajo
Summary: She is from 2020 and he never left 1999. Can she do it? Change the course of history but more importantly is she losing herself in the process?
Series: I write my own future [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622140
Comments: 255
Kudos: 110





	1. The introduction

6201 S Pierce St, Littleton, CO 80123, Verenigde Staten

I’m standing in front of the doors where it all started. Frozen to the ground I watch all the students and teachers pass me by. My hands in my pocket. I’m wasting time. “Pull yourself together right now” I say scolding myself back in action. I pick up my backpack filled with things that do not belong in this time of year of 1999. I walk up the stairs into the green building that has yet to become the haunted place it was destined to be. I’m here to do everything I can to make sure that the destiny of this building is forever changed, at the cost of my own self. Students pass me by and look at me in wonder, is she a student they might think. Confused because even though I’m young I’m not exactly a high school student any more. I make my way through the crowd to find that one person. I’ve imagined what it would feel like to encounter him or them for the first time but there was no training no nothing that could have prepared me for the actual moment, that is right now. In my bag is his schedule and right now he’s suppose to be in the commons, that’s how they call the cafeteria. I feel my feet getting heavy as I approach the door _“he looked at us and smiled”_ the words echo through my head as I enter the exact doors of the school that does not have a memorial for 13 innocent lives lost yet.

In my head a terrible conflict is playing in slow motion, do I go through with this and forever change my own soul for the slightest chance of success or do I turn around immediately and never look back?  
Knowing full well there already was no way back I push through and make my way to the commons. Scanning faces especially those of boys well over 6 feet and the ones that are a good head or two shorter. Just like back home all these teenagers look the same. Nothing and everything has changed in 21 years. Forcing myself to not get lost in my own thoughts I focus on what I came here to do. Looking around me as I approach the soot free floor of the commons. Lives lived unchanged by fear. I decide to take a seat at a table by the window that had a clear view of all directions. My bag now besides me on one of the hideous red chairs besides me I take out a book that isn’t to be published until 9 years later. Trying to focus on everything around me I’m tormented by images I’ve seen and became so familiar with that haven’t occurred yet, making my stomach hurl. I look over at the stairs and see them standing there, looking outside at the cops, Tech-9 held up high. I feel my lungs collapsing and focus on my breathing.

Only to lose my ability to the breath completely. As a group of three boys walk up to a table at my right hand, 3 tables over. On the right is the boy that held a grip over me without him even being aware of it. We’re connected irrevocable and undeniable. He’s talking so carelessly to the other boys while he knows full well of the terror he’s about to unleash in a very short period of time. So regular, ordinary even. It feels out of this world like it’s not even possible. There must be a mistake he can’t be one of the two young men planning a massacre of massive scale. He’s just a guy. I’m overwhelmed in every sense of the word, having to clench my jaw shut to make sure I don’t ruin this before it even begins. What is this? It’s a suicide mission that’s what it is. My eyes are pinned on him like a visor to it’s target. He hasn’t looked my way yet and I’m beginning to think my plan to be as blunt and straightforward with him was a mistake. Maybe I should have gone with one of the eleven million other ways to handle this. “No time to change plans now” I say my eyes still focussed on him. Mike Vendegnia is the one to notice my stare and I watch him nudge Erik Veik’s who’s now looking right at me. I cannot for the life of me take my eyes off of them. Last but not least Eric Harris looks at me, in my head I read the words _“I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things”_ His eyes stare at me intensely, dark. I know what my plan is I’ve been over it a million times. But in this moment it seems like reason, logic and every solid factor I need to use as a handle to hold onto has vanished into thin air, no not thin air, into him.  
I close my eyes and wet my lips as I make my decision. Getting up I take my bag off of the chair. Walking straight at them, heart palpitations and my jaw clenched shut. Plan in my head and now also into motion. I decided a long time ago I would not beat around the bush and be as straightforward as rules allowed me. All three are looking at me intensely, Eric looking puzzled but as soon as I open my vest his eyes grow wide in shock.  
Underneath my vest I’m wearing a white shirt with the inscription “Natural Selection” my eyes ever leaving his face. I look at him and see him in complete shock over the shirt I’m wearing. He is fact one of the only two people who know the meaning behind this shirt. The only day he’d wear it hasn’t even passed yet.

In shock he looks at me when I stop right in front of them.  
“Hello” I say simply with a stone cold smile on my face.

It’s Mike that greets me “Hello there yourself, new here?”

“Not really just here to visit someone” I say looking at Eric, who’s completely confused.

“Who will have the honor to your visit?” Mike asks and Eric is looking right into my eyes. I clench my jaw as he does and place my hands in my pockets black skinny jeans that never before felt so tight as they do right now here in this cafeteria in a year that doesn’t even have skinny jeans yet.

“Hmm I think someone here already knows who I’m looking for” and I lock my eyes with Eric and pierce right through him, his mouth opens slightly, panic now visible in his eyes.  
“13896 S. Grizzly Dr. The parking lot, you know where I mean. Be there at 8 tonight” I say looking at Eric still, my stomach filled with a roaring beast that wants out and I know for a fact that Eric feels things he never felt before. “Don’t be late Harris.” with that said I turn around and finally unclench my jaw, feeling my emotions come up to the surface I make sure I get the hell out of this doomed place.

When the time has come to meet Eric I zip up my jacket before exciting my rental, wanting to wait outside of the car for him. Leaning on the car I think it’s almost 8 and my courage is beginning to fail me like it did this morning. I prepared all day for this introduction only for me to fear right now that he might not show up at all. My fear makes place for anxiety as I see a grey Honda Prelude driving my way. The headlights blinding me making me raise up one hand to cover my eyes. The lights are shut off and I hear a door open. Never before in my life, besides that fateful day where I made the decision that have led up to this day have I felt such a variety of feelings all at once.  
I stand up straight with my hands in my pockets like I did before. He’s standing still next to his door, not able or willing to step forward in this moment.

“You can come closer I won’t bite.” and I force a smile on my face.

“Who are you and what the fuck do you want?” he asks and he takes a few steps in my direction. Trying to access who he’s looking at.

“There are multiple answers to those two questions and I take a few steps leaving still a good 15 feet between us.

“Tell me your name, how did you know I knew of this place and why did you wear that fucking shirt.” he blurts out all at once.

“My name is y/n. I know a whole lot more about you than just the January 30th incident and I needed to get your full attention hence the shirt.” I keep my hands where they are and lick my lips as I try to read his face. Eric looks at me while he thinks about his next words.

“Are you from the Diversion program or something?”

I shake my head no.  
“If I tell you where I’m from you’ll bolt right out of here so let's keep that for another time.” and I pause before I say “look there is so much to talk about and so little time but I can’t risk you freaking out on me.”

“I’m thinking that’s a risk you’re going to have to take because if you don’t give me more then this bullshit you’re giving me right now, I’m out of here” his eyes showing no lies.

I walk over to Eric until there is a mere 6 feet between us “fine suit yourself. I was born exactly one year after your died.” looking straight at him as I tell him.

His face pale but the corners of his mouth rise up and he starts to laugh. “You have got to be kidding me, how dumb do you think I am? Are you telling me you’re a fucking time traveller? Nice is this a joke, did Vodka put you up to this?” and his eyes darken on me.

“Did you or did you not just tell me to take that risk? Are you going to make me prove myself to you? What are you going to make me tell you something no one else knows about you or at least no one besides Dylan?” a firm tone in my voice and I’m no longer smiling at him.

He’s beginning to seriously lose his calm when he says “are you serious? Go pull someone else's leg, I’m out of here.” and just like that he turns around to open his car door.

“You’re still in doubt if you want to do it before or after prom.” I promptly state, knowing full well I need to keep him here before I lose him all together. He instantly stops moving, turning around to face me. I cannot read the expression on his face simply because I’ve never seen it before on someone, then again I’ve never been in this whole situation before.

“What the fuck. Did Dylan talk?” and I look down before I tell him

“no Dylan did not talk. Like I said before I know a lot more.” I’m shivering but it’s far from cold. It’s too much to handle, him being so close, within my grasp and yet so far away.

“Listen whoever you are” and I interrupt him “y/n” and he raises his hands up to next to his head “this is some weird shit and I don’t understand” throwing his hands up once more before letting them fall down besides him.

“I understand” and I pull my right hand out of my pocket and raise it up, trembling or not I say “It’s nice to meet you, Eric. I’m y/n.” he looks at my face and down to my hand before extending his, curiosity growing. He places his hand in mine with the utmost of care.

Feeling me tremble he looks at my face before asking “why is your hand trembling?”

I’m hesitant to answer and decide to give him one of the more positive reasons for it instead off all the other thoughts going around inside me like how I imagine him pulling the trigger with that hand. “Well I’ve never held the hand of someone from the passed before. Have you ever held a hand from the future before?” and I smile timidly.

He seems to want to smile back but doesn’t. “If I have to believe this is all true you’re saying then no, never”

Hot flashes run through my hand as I hold his, my heart is beating faster then it breaks knowing full well I’ll have to live with the tough of this first touch all by myself in a time that is not my own. “You better believe it because das ist wahr”

He immediately pulls his hand back. “You speak German?” curiosity taking over.

“Only because you do” and I smile a little warmed this time. Eric looks down on his boots, the same ones he’ll wear that same day.

“If I have to believe all this, tell me, why are you here?” Eric asked.

I’m not sure if I should answer this question or how at all but something in his eyes compels me to at least answer with truth in it. “You. I’m here because of you.”

His head jerks up at my words. “Why” is all he asks.

Because I was stupid enough to think I could handle what so many others before me couldn’t, that’s why. “There are inventions in my time that should never be allowed to exist. Unfortunately for me they do and I was unable to resist”

He shakes his head and licks his lips “no I hate this vague shit you’re giving me. I want answers” and he takes a step forward in my direction.  
It takes everything for me not to raise up my hand and touch his face, to feel he’s real and here. Alive and well.

“On 11-22-1998 you and Dylan bought the weapons for NBK with the help of Robyn Anderson” my whole Idea was to be blunt about everything so might as well start now. Eric takes a step back at my words and looks like he’s having trouble breathing. “Hey Eric. Eric are you okay?” and I take a step forward.

But he extends his arm and says “no not a step closer” and I raise my hands up and take a step backwards. “How the fuck do you know? Jesus Christ are you seriously from the fucking future? and he holds his stomach looking like he’s about to throw up. I take a step forward and ignore him waving me away.

I place my hand at his shoulder and he looks up all confused and afraid probably. “That’s enough for today.” and I say that not because it really is enough but I also need him to want more. He needs to think about me and everything I’ve said and come back for more.  
My hand on his shoulder still as he looks up at me, letting his eyes become familiar with me and something in his look changes. “I’ll find you tomorrow” and I pull my hand back which turns cold instantly, my whole body is protesting every little thing from this evening. I turn around and walk to my car.

“Wait don’t you want to know where to find me?” he says and it makes me chuckle.

“I already know” and I turn around to flash him a smirk. “Goodnight Harris.” and with that said I leave him standing there next to his car and I drive off. Watching him disappear in my rearview mirror, making my heart ache.

“I’m fucked.” I say looking into my own eyes.


	2. Understanding him and common grounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you'll enjoy chapter 2.

I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d spend the night thinking about conversation topics, questions I should ask him or ones that I should avoid. That didn't happen because after trying to fight it for a few hours all I could do was relive those first moments. Memorizing his every move and penning them all down. My black notebook had 16 pages filled already. The school, the faces I saw and my conversation with Eric. They warned me that what I know about Eric and me would weigh me down and create friction with my mission. That I cannot let it become personal and make it a selfish mission, they also informed me it would be practically impossible.

Before I head out I look at myself in the mirror, open up the water tap and let the cold water run over my hands and wrists in an attempt to calm myself down, before leaving to go see him again. I splash some water on my face and go to gather my things. I bring a few things with me I might want to show him, to give him a hint of my world. Leaving my car here on a hunch I start walking towards Columbine High school. The air is cold and helps me focus. The senior parking lot is full of cars but it’s like they all vanish as soon as I lay eyes on the grey Honda Prelude on it’s designated parking spot. There is no need for me to look at Eric’s schedule for me to know the last bell has already dismissed him. Before I began the process of coming here I felt so incredible sure of myself. Knowing full well what depends on me being here. Day two and I’m already not in the position to fool myself I have everything under control, there is no solid control. “Time is an illusion” I mumble as I lean on Eric’s car. My shoulder bag settled over my shoulder I take out my book to try to take my mind off of waiting for him. It works because when Eric approaches me I’m startled by his voice.

“You again” my head jerks up at his words.

“Geeze you scared me and yes me again. Hi” I look at him and add “how was your day?” and I think he’s a bit set off by my mundane question.

“Are you kidding me? You come her asking me about my day?” he’s defiand but stays at a distance “you have some nerve, you know that?”

I try to keep eye contact but he doesn’t allow me to do so. “Well seeing as I know all about the shit that goes on in this school I thought I’d ask. Maybe you want to talk about it?” crossing my arms, leaning back against his car.

“No thanks and cut the polite crap will you.” Eric tells me, commands me even. I can see why he’s feared by some but I’m not fooled.

“Fine let's go. We’re wasting time here.” and I try to open the passenger seat but it’s still closed “do you mind?” and I look down at the handle and back at him.

Eric takes a few steps closer “you’re coming with me?” but doesn’t open the door yet.

“Tik tok, tik tok” I say while grinning at him. He’s reluctant but also curious, he has questions I can see them burning in his eyes. Without a word he opens the door for me and walks over to the driver's seat. I sit down, buckle up and tell him “watch your speed, you don’t want to get another ticket” and I look over at him, he’s looking back at me angry but intrigued.

“You know I got a speeding ticket? See that shit’s not natural. What else do you know about me?” he starts the car and I get the feeling he’s glad he can keep his eyes on the road instead of having to look at me.

“I know everything there was ever published about you, Eric” I’m hoping the blunt tactic really is the way to go with him. Now he’s looking right at me and I can see him thinking about what has been published about him.

Hesitant he asks me nervously “you mean the tapes we’re making?” hands gripping the wheel tighter.

“You mean the basement tapes?” I ask him. 

He looks at me confused “the what tapes?”.

Shit he doesn’t know they’re dubbed the basement tapes. I avoid answering his specific question with this answer “there is a lot published about you.” and I watch his profile as he drives, I know he sees me looking at him from the corner of his eye. In my head I’ve already filled another 5 good pages in my notebook. “I’ve played your Doom wads”.

Eric looks at me in mild shock and says “really, you did?” a small smile on his face which I repay with a smile as well.

“too many times, I’ve actually lost track of how many times” and I chuckle nervously, feeling I might have revealed a little too much. “Now that I am here, tell me how to get through that tidal wave of monsters.” I ask jokingly, I want him to be more comfortable with me, see that he can trust me and that I’m not the enemy.

“Ha! You can’t beat that huh. I’m not saying anything.” he says a smug grin on his face. His grip loosens up somewhat.

“Oh come on. Shit move Harris.” but I smile while saying that. He looks at me and for a brief moment it’s just the two of us, talking, no scary future stuff. “I can’t wait for Doom Eternal to be released.” and I look out of the window as I say so “it’s going to be epic”

“Doom is still bringing out content? Wait what year are you from?” and he shakes his head “I cannot fucking believe I just asked that question” but curiosity is growing as he looks at me. However his face hardens and I guess the oddity of that question and everything around it hit him.

“Drive us to a place where we can talk without ears around us and I’ll tell you more about me.”

He glances over and says “alright” to drive us back to the parking lot we met the night before. We stop on the way for a bottle water for me and Eric seems to be torn between wanting to be on guard the whole time and having this sense of familiarity around me that I know must be increasing. As for me I do my best to keep my head on track but when we talk this easily and in the store like this it’s not as easy as it seems. When we get to our destination and he has parked the car he doesn’t beat around the bush.

Before I even think about exciting the car he says “tell me, what year are you from and how old are you?”

I lick my lips and turn my back to the door so I can face him properly “I’m from the year 2196 and I am 196 years old” Eric turns pale immediately and looks at me in with pure terror on his face and I burst out in laughter. He’s not amused to say the least.

“what the fuck is so funny?” he asks very defensive, he too has his back against the door, looking straight at me.

“I’m sorry” and I hold my hands in front of my mouth to stop me from laughing “that was a joke” and he’s at a complete loss for words. “I’m from the year 2020 and I am 20 years old.” he gives me a distrusting look and I continue “that’s the truth, I promise.”

“Don’t do that it’s not funny. Do you have any idea how this must be for me? Someone finds me and tells me they’re from the fucking future. Knows about NBK and other stuff and then you joke about being 200 years old?” There is actual anger in his eyes and I regret my joke. “You’ve had how much time to get used to the idea you’re going to” a slight pause in his words “I cannot believe I’m saying this. That you’re going to freaking travel through time? I had no warning no nothing. And here you are knowing about my speeding tickets and whatever more I don’t even know. So quite the joking and answer my questions seriously.”

His anger stings but he’s right. “I am so sorry Eric. You’re absolutely right. All I thought about was making a joke, I didn't think. I am so sorry, from now on I’ll answer truthfully and keep the joking for the matters that aren’t this important.” I feel my cheeks getting red in shame.

But when I look at him I’m surprised, I thought he’d still be angry or at least upset but there is a much softer expression on his face and he says “thank you” and I give him a timid smile “of course”

After a short uncomfortable silence Eric asks “can you tell me some random things about your time and you?”

“Sure” and I think about what I’ll say next “games, the graphics are so good they look like goddamn movies. The president of the US is the biggest joke, his name alone makes blood pressures rise, sorry I cannot tell you who he is, even if I did you wouldn’t believe me. I look at his face and I see he’s processing everything he hears. “I’m from Europe and you know you could be big in the graphic designing industry for games. Your wads are considered extremely good for your age and time especially.” I close my eyes at my words, I didn't mean to say that it just came out like that.

He says nothing about what I’ve just said but he asks more questions “tell me more about you and you said you were here because of me why? Why are you here for me especially?

I know I can’t tell him, not yet anyway “I can’t answer that, I’m sorry” and he looks at me and he’s annoyed I know it.

“Fine” he says.

“You know when I was just a bit younger then you are now I used to go run around my cousins neighborhood and light firecrackers everywhere. In trash cans, underneath cars, in bushes and lots of other places, we’d dress all in black and run like crazy. They are some of my favorite memories.” I now have his full attention.

“Like the rebel missions” he says.

“Yeah like that exactly, I’ve read your logs, we would have had so much fun doing that together.” and I chuckle softly.

“Yeah that was some good fun” and he smiles.

“I bet so” and he looks at me recognising his own words, his mouth slightly open as if he means to say something but he doesn’t.

He looks down at his hands then says “you say that you know things about me. Tell me something you know”

“Alright” and I nodd. “I know that you moved around a lot with your family and that it made you feel like you were never given a fair chance with your peers because of that. Always being the new kid and all. And I know just how that feels.”

“You may know that but that doesn’t mean you know how I felt. My parents don’t even know that. So how would you a complete stranger understand?” his voice bitter and a hint of sadness.

“Everywhere you arrive kids have already settled into their friendships, having to prove yourself over and over again. Leaving behind the faces you love, familiar places you care about and it hurts like hell. The moment you realize the life you have in that moment will diminish into mere memories in a heartbeat. Moments that made you laugh right now will make you want to hide from the world alone with your pain the next day. Never being able to keep someone as your friend or love even.” my voice cracks and I clear my throat. Eric looks at me but doesn’t say anything. “You see Eric before I was 10 years old I had already gone through 6 different schools.”

just as I want to continue Eric starts to talk “every goddamn time I started at the bottom, never getting any respect. I’ve been here a good couple of years now and I’m still considered an outsider because of my accent and shit. I’ll never fit in and I don’t even want to. I hate this place and every fucker in it.” he looks at me and sees the shock on my face “what you can talk but I can’t?”

Everything inside me knows I’m breaking the rules, that I’m crossing a line I shouldn’t cross. But I do it anyway because this roaring feeling inside me I can no longer tame. I place my hand on Eric’s arm, and he quickly pulls his arms back and looks at me with a faint hint of shock on his face, like he didn't expect this. He’s not stopping me by pulling his arm back, I just lean in more. “Anything you’ll have to say I’ll listen to. My look didn't mean you shouldn’t talk it was a look of compassion. I know just how you feel and it fucking hurts. Rules be damned. I lean in even more and decide to no longer fight the urge to reach out to him. I let my hand go up to his face, my thumb right next to his mouth caressing his cheek my other fingers down in his neck just below his jaw. I feel him tense up under my touch “it’s okay” and I nodded “I’m here for you” He looks straight at me and softly shakes his head leaning into my touch. He’s letting me in making me feel like I made the right decision.

Reluctantly I let go and lean back into my seat. “We should go back, you can drop me off at the school.”

His reaction makes my heart jump up “already?”

I sit up straight and buckle up “yes already. There’s still time” deep down I can’t help but wonder how much time that will be but I quickly push those thoughts away knowing those thoughts are not safe especially so close next to him.

“Where are you staying? I can drop you off there if you want?” he asks and I look at him as he’s getting ready to drive us back.

“I’m thinking the school is fine, it’s a short walk from there.” and he starts up the car.

“Alright suit yourself” On our way over here he didn't put on any music, but now he’s playing KMFDM and without thinking I say “Oh I love this cd. Old but gold” making Eric laugh.

“Old this is from two years ago?” and I look at him and start to laugh with him

“Oh right, I forgot today’s president is Clinton.” and he smiles at me less nervous then before. When we arrive at the school he asks me again.

“Last time, are you sure I can’t drop you off wherever you’re staying?”

“I’m sure but I do appreciate the offer. I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Yeah I guess you know where to find me. You’ll just pop up wherever you deem fit.” and he shakes his head in disbelief of everything he just said.

“That would be exactly right” and I gather my things but before I Exit the car I pull out a comic book “read this and tell me what you think, yeah?”

Eric takes it from my hand “The Walking Dead” and he squints his eyes “alright I’ll think about it” and with that said I leave his car.

Not looking behind me as I make my way over to the motel I’m staying in. I need to get to my room. All the emotions from today are about to consume me. I’m so lost in my thoughts, Thinking about Eric’s body language to everything he said. My hand on his cheek holding him like that. It’s too much to handle, the reaction of my body to everything that’s happening and everything that is still going to happen. When the motel gets in sight I start to run. Needing to get off the streets I bolt over there. My room number being 15, how appropriate. I take my keys from out of my bag and open the door, close and lock it right behind me so I can drop myself on the bed and start to cry. I let the tears flow over my cheeks my hands covering my face while I curl up into fetal position. Hoping it won’t take long for me to fall a sleep after all these tears.

Eric watched her get out of the car and a feeling and a feeling of belonging to her washed over him. The comic still in his hand, release date 2003. He watched her walk away in a fast pace. Instinctively he decides to follow her. To see where she’s staying. He has to know. There is something about the girl who came into his life in the most bizarre way possible that he cannot pinpoint, yet. All he knows is that he has a feeling inside him that grows every second he looks at her, thinks of her and he doesn’t understand what it is. He sees she’s starting run, run like crazy. Does she know he’s following her? He can’t think straight because he decides to follow her and watch her open her door, number 15. Driven by a force he doesn’t understand he gets out of the car and walks up to the room she just entered. Unknowingly what he’s going to do he finds an opening in the curtains he can peak through. What he sees affects him deeply, there she is. The girl who isn’t even alive yet technically crying on her lonely bed. He places his hand on the window frame and mumbles her name. Watching her until she falls asleep and only then does he turn around to go home to read the comic she gave him all in one go. Wondering where she’ll pop up next. Thinking about why she was crying will keep him up all night.


	3. Feelings from the heart and Dylan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone reading this enjoys it. Feedback is always welcome, feel free to leave a comment!

The night has been long and dark. I’m glad it’s morning and I start to undress while the water is already flowing. I feel the water and it’s too hot but I don’t care, I step under the water regardless. I tilt my head to the side and let the blazing hot water hit my cold bare shoulders. Images from yesterday run through my mind as I turn my hands into fists and hold them up under my chin. I let the water run over my face before the tears start to stream again. I still feel his face in my hand, the way he sought it out by leaning into it ever so slightly. The connexxion was undeniable there. My head falls forward my hair now catching the running water, wet strands of hair are stuck to the back of my neck. I take a deep breath and lean back and let my hands run up over my face into my hair. The last tears blend in with the water before I turn the shower off and grab a towel to dry myself down. Standing in front of the mirror I wipe off the fog. I barely recognise the person in the mirror, I feel like I’m losing myself all together. I focus on my breathing and try to remember what my plan was for today, Dylan, I need to meet him.

I get dressed in my dark Levis jeans and a tight black shirt, today I tie my hair up. My notebook, now with well over 50 pages filled goes into my bag along with my wallet. Converse shoes and my jacket on I take my keys from the table and head out. It’s cold but the sun is out. I make my way over to Columbine and decide to go walking. I need the fresh air to clear my head, the walk is brisk and I feel a bit better. Worried still about my ability to keep my mind on the task ahead of me. I really want to try and focus on what I need to do now. Dylan needs to know who I am, what I’m here for. The large green building is hard to miss once the corner is turned in it’s direction. I make my way over to the west entrance to go and find Eric and hopefully Dylan in the commons. I quickly make my way in, not hesitating one second this time. Avoiding eye contact with the students afraid there are faces I recognise, faces that also stayed in 1999 forever.

In the commons I scan the space. My breath gets stuck in my throat and I grab a hold off my stomach, hoping I won’t throw up then and there. I see them. Eric in a blue sweater I know all too well next to a tall boy in a trench coat with blond soft curls underneath a cap put on backwards. Trying to regain my posture I have no time to do so because Mike seems to be whispering something and right after he does Eric and Dylan turn around. Eric finds me and his eyes grow wide in shock, he stands up immediately to come my way. In that sweater, that fucking Broncos sweater.

“No” he says when he’s close to me. “Not here not now, too many ears and eyes.” and he stops right in front of me.

“You mean Dylan’s ears and eyes?” my voice serious and face even more so, I see Eric’s triggered by it.

“Yes. Dylan doesn’t know, yet. I haven’t found a way to tell him that some chick from the future came here on some goddamn mission I know nothing about involving me.” he says in one long breath. He takes a deep breath and continues “can’t we meet up later?”

I look over at the table and they are all looking at us “I can’t turn back now and you know I will have to talk to Dylan at some point. We’re wasting time standing here.” and I hoist my shoulder bag up showing him I’m ready to go over there.

“Fine, just please” and he’s thinking about his next words “no one knows anything so don’t”

I interrupt him “don’t worry I can’t tell anybody anything besides you and Dylan. I’m not allowed to chance the course of history in that way.”

“Not allowed?” he seems confused.

“Yes there are rules, what did you expect? Come on let's go, they’re waiting.” and I jerk my head up to silently tell him to look over at his friends.

“Watch your words, no old but gold comments okay” his hand is on my arm, holding it tightly.

“That was an accident I did not say that on purpose” and I take his hand off of my arm “I will watch my words if you watch the tone you take with me” a small grin on my face.

He has that lopsided smirk on his face “alright, I’ll try but please be careful around them.”

“Alright, I’ll try” smiling I turn around to walk over to the small group of boys, Eric catches up with me.

“You think of a way we know each other because I’m drawing a complete blank here at the moment.” in his eyes I see something I haven’t before and I can’t help but wonder if he’s starting to sense or feel things around me, the way I do. His blue sweater is making it difficult to breath properly and it takes everything for me to focus.

“Hello and hello again to you” I say to the group and an extra hello for Mike and Erik.

“You again, please tell me how you two know each other because Eric refuses to tell me.” Mike says annoyed and curious.

I look over to Eric who looks a bit concerned. “Well I played Eric’s levels of Doom a while back and emailed him about them, we got to talking via email.” Eric is looking at me confused where this is going but impressed by what I come up with. “I was in the neighbourhood visiting” and I look at Dylan and then Eric “old friends” my eyebrows raised and Eric’s shaking his head no ever so slightly it’s hardly visible “and I thought let me swing by Eric since I’m here for a while. He didn't know hence his reaction a few days ago.” and I raise my shoulders at Mike.

“Aah that explains but you looked like you didn't even recognised her at first what was up with that? Mike asks Eric and Dylan is now looking at me, he’s on guard and not happy.

“Yeah well the picture she send me wasn’t very clear. I guess I don’t have 2020 vision” Eric’s looking real smug right about now and that might have been the strongest pun ever. I bite my lips but end up bending over holding my hands in front of my mouth laughing. When I get back up Eric’s very satisfied with himself.

“I don’t know what you two are on, but we” and Mike is pointing at Eric and Erik “have to go remember?” and Erik says yep but Eric looks over at me and to Dylan.

“It can wait guys” Eric says but Mike’s not having it.

“No we have to go right now. She, wait what’s your name?” and Eric wants to open his mouth but I’m one step ahead.

Looking at Dylan I say “Mallory” his eyes turn real small and Eric looks at me and I know he’s fuming.

“Well Mallory you will have to wait. We will be back in 15 to 20 minutes.” and Mike motions for them to go. Eric is looking distressed at me and Dylan but goes with Mike nonetheless.

When he walks past me he whispers two word “please don’t”. But him and me both know that I will talk to Dylan.

“I’ll see you later.” and I turn to look at Dylan who greets his friends and gets up from his seat.

Eric and the other two go to wherever it is they need to be and I walk up to Dylan in a hurry. “Hey there, where are you going?” I ask him nonchalant.

He looks at me with an annoyed look, shyly he asks “Nowhere, what’s it to you?”

I pout my lips “hmm well it’s nothing and a lot actually.” his annoyance is growing “am I right to assume you’re wondering why Eric didn't mention me?”

His eyebrows rise up giving me the feeling he is. “You’re Eric’s business, I don’t care” he starts to walk even faster making it hard for me to catch up.

“I’m not buying it. Are you going to your black car?” this comment seems to shake him a bit.

“Did Eric talk about me?” he’s a bit curious, completely clueless still to how I know about his car.

“No not really, just that you don’t know about me but I don’t blame him for not telling. My existence is very complicated at this point” and I shrug.

“Whatever he had to because you know about my car” his steps are so big I need to take two to keep up with one.

“No I know because I read about it and saw pictures.” I don’t want to do this to him but I do not have the time to work them both slowly. “Eric didn't tell you because you would never believe him.” I look at him with an ice cold face.

“Pictures what pictures and what the hell are you talking about?” his tone fills with anger. He doesn’t understand and isn’t amused.

“Dylan I’m here because I know about NBK.” he stops walking and by the look on his face he’s not breathing either. “I don’t mean to ambush you but there’s no time. So let me answer questions that I’m sure are on your mind. First, no Eric did not talk. Second no I can’t tell anyone, I’m bound by these horrible rules. Three no this is not a joke, set up or whatever and I can prove that to you but judging by your face maybe now is not a good time.”

He’s struggling for words. Anger dripping off his face. He’s livid. “The fuck are you talking about?” and he drops his bag on the ground and towers over me in a threatening way.

“I’m talking about knowing things about you no one else knows, Dylan. This is not a joke. I am not a joke.” and Dylan takes a step forward dooming over me.

“What the fuck is your name, Mallory how fucking stupid do you think I am?”

“It’s y/n “ and I stick out my hand “and you are Dylan Bennet Klebold” my hand still out but he’s not going to take it.

He’s shaking his head no “how do you know this shit, NBK, my full fucking name?” and he keeps on shaking no “this is some fucked up joke”

“It’s not. I told you I know things.” and he cuts me off. “Are you still pretending you do? My name is in the school administration, you’re not fooling me. Bitch.” his eyes are shooting fire at me.

“The first page of your journal begins with the title “El thoughtzos” and you started your journal in ‘97. You’ve hated your life for a long time and you want out. Not caring who you take with you in the process, NBK is your escape.” my arms are crossed and Dylan looks like one little push can knock him over completely.

He looks at me not able to speak. Looking at the floor and back at me. His breath is getting labored and he has his hands on the sides of his head “how the fuck” but he can’t even finish the sentence.

“I was born a year after your death but you don’t have to die Dylan. I promise you life can be better, with the right help.” and I take a step forward wanting to reach out and place my hand on his arm but he’s not having it, he hits my hand pushing it away, not hard.

“You don’t know shit.” pointing his index finger at me, on which his onyx ring is placed. “I’ll choose how I end my life. Why are you here, you can’t stop us.”

His last four words hit me like a brick and I want to walk away but my heart is faster then my mind and before I know it I blurt out “I’m here for Eric” pausing while I look at him. He’s processing my words.

“What do you want with Eric? He’s in this as much as me” Dylan says breaking my heart with every word.

“I can’t tell” and he interrupts me once more.

“Listen you bitch, you come here talking about being born after I’m dead, knowing about my journal and you can’t tell me what you want with Eric? I don’t fucking think so, you tell me or I swear” he doesn’t finish the sentence when he sees my eyes falling down to the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks.

My voice cracking “there’s this invention back home. I did it when everybody told me not to do it. The name” and I pause to wipe my tears away with my hands “it was Eric Harris” and I drop my hands by my side in desperation.

Dylan looks at me so very confused. “You will find a love, it won’t even take long before you do. Arizona.” and I weakly smile shaking my head.

“Love? Do you love Eric? That’s impossible” he takes his backpack from the floor.

“I didn't say that.” I say trying to work my way out of this but Dylan waltzes straight over me with his words.

“You implied it. Leave me alone. You don’t know shit. You follow me I kill you.” and he turns around, threat still in the air and walks over to his black car.

I’m standing there, knees weak. Watching him drive away. For the first time I think about home, about my sweet Sofia who send me that one song that would forever remind me of Dylan. “Black car.” I’m on the verge of breaking all the rules and losing my home, losing her and everyone else I care about. Only to lose him too.

Speaking of him behind me a voice yells “Y/N” and I turn around to see Eric approaching me. That sweater, his face and everything that happened with Dylan is all too much to handle. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

“Eric” I say with a faint voice, looking at him.

“Hey are you okay? Where is Dylan?” he’s standing so close and all I want is for him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. But it won’t nothing is or will be okay. This whole situation is doomed and I have no one to blame but myself.

I shake my head no “Dylan went home, he didn't feel to good, at least I think. I don’t really know.΅

“You told him didn't you? You did, I asked you not to and you did anyways.” anger in his voice.

“I didn't say I wouldn’t” I’m getting angry myself.

“Oh cut the wiseassery it doesn’t become you” he says harshly “How did Dylan react, what did you say to him?” his hands in his sides, looking around to scope for ears.

“Well seeing as he threatened to kill me if I followed him I’m thinking not so great.” and I cock my head with a fake smile.

“GODDAMN” he yells out. Hands running through his hair before he places them on his sides again. “Well that’s all fucked. Thank you, thank you very much, are you happy now?” but he stops talking as soon as he looks at my face.

I imagine my cheeks are all red, tears in my eyes on the verge of breaking down “Don’t patronize me Eric, it doesn’t become you.” and I turn around ready to walk away.

However Eric won’t let me because he grabs hold of my arm, I keep looking down seeing how close his feet are I dare not to look up at him.

“Hey y/n” his voice sounds so close and I make a mistake. A big mistake. Huge mistake. I look up at him. He’s startled with me being so close, closer than he expected.

“You’re angry with me. I get it, Eric I do. But there are things and I had to. I’m so sorry. I never meant to disappoint you. I don’t want to hurt you, I never would if we weren’t in this fucked up situation.” Eric’s look is now soft and I see him taking every inch of my face in. “I’m so sorry I don’t want to.” but I stop and look down again.

“I’m not angry, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have been so harsh on you.” his words caught me by surprise. I figured he’d be so angry with me.

“It’s this whole situation. I wish it could have been different.” I say raising my head up, looking straight into his eyes. Mistake number 2. He looks right at me and smiles.

“Why don’t we leave all the bullshit out for a change?” he asks and I’m not sure I follow him.

“What do you mean?” still looking at him. His facial features, I try to take them all in. From his sharp nose to his defined cheekbones, his jaw, small but strong. His face is so thin. He must be exhausted with everything that he’s doing. I just want him out. Out of this bitch of a horrid future he’s creating for himself and so many others. I’m including myself.

Unaware of all my thoughts Eric tells me what he means “Just chill, hang out. Forgetting you’re from the future, you know that will never not be weird to say.” and he laughs, I laugh with him “I mean just be together.”

_Just be together, just be together._

“You want to just chill..?” skeptically I look at him with one brow raised.

“Yes just chill. I have to work later but it’s always boring on a thursday, come there and we’ll just hang out. No future bullshit or anything else.” he swallows hard and I see his eyes resting on my lips. Part of me is ready to give in, into my feelings but I know I can’t.

“Anything else as in NBK as well?” this is only the second time it has come up and it's shocking him I can tell.

He looks down for a bit but looks up quick enough. Only now do I feel his hand is still on my arm. “Yes” he simply states and he follows my stare down to his hand but he’s not moving it. “Come. Meet me there.”

“I don’t know Eric” and I lick my lips.

He moves in even closer and says “please?” his eyes stare straight into my heart.

“How can I refuse after you asked so nicely?” and I roll my eyes hoping to break the moment but he’s not letting me because before I know it I feel his hand pull me closer and his arms find their way around me.

He’s holding me in his arms. Tightly and one hand moves up my back and he locks it around my neck whispering in my ear “thank you” I pull him in as close as I can grabbing a hold of his sweater. Burying my face in his neck taking in every drop of his scent. Feeling his thin body in my arms. It’s him that makes the first move to letting go.

“Tell me one thing, what is this” and he’s pointing towards his chest “this feeling, when I’m with you. Even when I’m not and it's so strong. I don’t understand” he takes one look at my face and continues “let me guess, you can’t tell me right?”

I shake my head “I really can’t. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah right ey, well glad that’s all clear now” and he laughs putting his hands on his hips. “Listen I still have time on my lunch break, I could drive you wherever you’re staying or any place else you wanna go?”

Before I know it I say “you’re sweet but I’ll walk” his cheeks get all flustered, I know for a fact he’s not used to girls talking to him like that. “But Eric, what you feel, I feel it too.” and I smile right from the heart before turning around to walk back to my motel room.

To lock myself in and let everything out before meeting him at Blackjack later. I don’t look back at all and like the last time I just want to run. Not wanting to be outside, having to keep myself together. Dylan's words still hurting me, knowing how much I’ve hurt him, that sweet lost soul. I hate myself for it. The motel is in sight and I upped my pace even more. Grabbing my keys out of my bag I drop them on the floor and curse out loud “FUCK” I pick them up and open the door. I swing my bag on the floor, drop my jacket right next to it and walk over to my bed and pull out my black bag. My back facing the door, I open the bag and there it is. The blue Broncos sweater Eric was wearing right now. My heart feels heavy looking at it and tears start to flow yet again. I put it back in the bag and put it under my bed. I walk over to the stereo and press the play button. The melody evokes the tears and I let myself drop on the floor leaning against my double bed. Folding my arms around my legs letting the words enter my head and soul. If only Eric knew.

_Ghost, I see you standing there, Don't turn away, I want you to stay, Ghost, what's your name? Why so surprised? I'm interested... You're just a soul that blends into the crowd, I hear you so loud no one else hears a sound, You reach out your hand no one else feels a thing, And I'm just a stranger who could be a friend... You could have been so great, I won't let you slip away, Is there any hope for us left, Even a Ghost needs a friend... You could have been someone, But you let them into your head, I want you to know this instead, That I see the light in your chest... Ghost, Where you from? I can take you away, so far away, Ghost, I'll make sure they all see, The kind of man, that you can be... Open your lungs & inhale my words, I see in your eyes a reflection of hurt, The book in your mind hasn't come to an end, There's always a page, that hasn't been read... You could have been so great, I won't let you slip away, Is there any hope for us left, Even a Ghost needs a friend... You could have been someone, But you let them into your head, I want you to know this instead, That I see the light in your chest... Your heart, it beats, forever, forever, we see, I will believe, that there's a Ghost in me... Your lungs they breathe, forever, forever, we see, I will believe..._

Little did I know Eric was on the other side listening as well. He followed her again. Needed to almost. He’s out of breath when he sees her dropping her keys, cursing out loud. She enters the room and only when she’s in for a while does he dare to walk up to the window hoping there was space for him to look through the curtains. There is. He sees her putting a black bag under the bed. His heart grows two whole sizes when he sees her walking over to the stereo, unaware that he’s looking at her every move. A song starts playing.

_You could have been someone, But you let them into your head, I want you to know this instead, That I see the light in your chest…_

At that moment he sinks to the ground, sitting with his back against the wall underneath her window. His eyes start to sting and he hates how a song can come in so hard. What does she mean playing this song? Is it about him? Who is she and why does she have such a great impact on him? It’s so confusing and he’s scared, now that Dylan knows, what did she say? What will happen next? Tears start to fall down his cheeks and he too is holding his legs. He can’t wait to see her again and he hates himself for it.


	4. When the heart starts talking bonds are formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments that are left on my writing are beyond amazing and I cherish them all!

He looked at his watch for the hundredth time in the past 5 minutes. There’s little then an hour left in his shift and she wasn’t here. She said she’d be here. A heavy hand lands on his shoulder. Eric turns to see who’s attached to the hand and it’s Chris his friend and co-worker. 

“Yo dude new order came in wanna help me out here?” Chris says and Eric gets up.

“Sure what’s the order?” and Eric walks over to the station where they make the pizza. 

“I didn't catch the name but she said she wants a pepperoni and green pepper pizza large, says it’s her friends favorite. She’s picking it up” Chris shrugs and doesn’t see the change in Eric’s face, his eyes start to almost twinkle at the mere idea it’s her. Knowing that it’s his favorite pizza as well. There is a chance, it must be.

“It’s her” Eric accidentally said out loud and of course Chris heard.

“Who’s her?” Chris asks with a frown.

“Uhm I think I know who this pizza is for.” Eric’s a little embarrassed and tries to avoid Chris’s stare and gets right to work but Chris continues.

“Aaaand who is she?” cheeky smile on his face as he approaches Eric who’s now blushing and trying still to avoid Chris. 

“Let’s just get the pizza ready. You’ll see when she gets here” and that was it, he wasn’t going to say anything else and Chris knew.

I’ve been sitting in my car silently for 5 minutes since I got here, thinking about the evening ahead of me. His words on repeat in my head  _ Just be together _ . I forgot my jacket back at the motel but it wasn’t too cold and my sweater was thick enough. I pull the rearview mirror in my direction and look at my face, I had put on a little makeup to cover up the red spots around my eyes from crying, the mascara pushing my eyelashes up so the swollenness of my eyelids is masked. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing but as soon as they’re closed I feel his embrace. “Nope” I say while opening my eyes immediately. This whole idea to just chill is madness, but I said I would so I’m stuck to my words. I know that if I cancel anything at all with him I lose all trust. I can’t do that to him. There’s no way I’d risk that. “Pull yourself together” I tell myself and with that said I get out of my car and make my way over to his workplace, hoping he liked the subtle nudge with his favorite pizza. I shake my head at the thought. Seeing the pizza place my pace fastens and without me noticing it a small smile forms on my face, placing my hand on the door to open it I see him standing there and when he sees me a huge smile appears on his face. I can’t help but be so happy I can make him feel like that and since I promised to just hang out I decide to throw all worries out the door and just head in and enjoy his company. A small voice in the back of my head tell me  _ while you still can _ but I push that thought out of my head and open the door simultaneously. 

“You made it” Eric says with a smile on his face.

“Of course, I said I would, didn't I” and I walk over and place my elbows on the counter before the register “so is my pizza ready?” and I smile at Eric, his smile is so sweet and there’s no anxiety in him whatsoever.

“It is, pepperoni and green peppers huh” one eyebrow raised.

My elbows still on the counter leaning in on Eric “yeah it’s for my friend it’s his favorite. I hope he’s hungry though” and I wink at him. Eric gets real flustered and looks down to his hands.

“Yeah I can eat” Chris says from behind Eric who’s now rolling his eyes.

“You’re not my friend.” I say still looking at Eric.

He turns around to face his friend “Yeah you’re not her friend” he says mocking Chris.

“I’m hurt, I thought we had something special but I guess I was wrong” Chris says overdramatically while looking at me like a lost puppy. 

“Is he always like that when he takes an order from a girl over the phone?” I say looking at Eric, who’s laughing and looking at his friend.

“Only the ones that turn out to be gorgeous” Eric says still looking at his friend and I bet he does so to avoid my gaze. He just flatout called me gorgeous.

“You two are hurting my feelings, I’m telling my mom.” Chris says but bursts out laughing “yeah I can’t say shit like that and keep a straight face. Eric take her to the back and go enjoy the pizza, I got this.”

“Thanks man, I appreciate that” Eric says who walks over to the refrigerator, opening the door he looks at me and says “what do you want?” 

“I’ll have a diet coke please” and I walk over to the pizza box, look at the order receipt and pick it up and wait for Eric to get the drinks so I can follow him. He looks back at me and smiles that lopsided smile of his.

“Ladies first” and he waits for me to start walking before following me. We go to the back and exit the building. “We can sit over here” and he sits down and motions for me to do the same. 

“Thanks, who knew Eric Harris is a true gentlemen” and I chuckle while sitting down next to him, pizza and drinks between us.

“I’ll have you know that I am that in fact.” he smiles and adds “sometimes” and his mouth curls up at the left side again.

“Don’t worry I was kidding, I know you are” I say opening the pizza box.

“You do?” genuine surprise in his voice “wait no future stuff remember, no comments about what you read or whatever” and he points his finger at me and I grab in immediately, holding it tight in my hand. Again he is surprised.

“I remember and I wasn’t talking about anything I read I was talking about what I’ve seen” emphasizing on that last word. He’s smiling again.

“You were? Sorry, my bad” his eyes searching for mine and when they’re locked together his start to light up “things you’ve seen?”

“Yes Harris, things I’ve seen. You always asked to bring me where I need to go even at your lunch break. Well besides that first evening but that doesn’t count because I think you were pretty shocked.” he interrupts me.

“Shocked, that is the understatement of this century” but he chuckles softly but I start to really laugh, hard, and he looks up at me “what’s so funny?” he asks.

“Understatement of this century, that’s what’s funny. Like that one pun in the cafeteria” and I start to pick the green peppers off of the pizza. “I swear I almost peed my pants”

A sound of shere disgust comes out of his mouth “that is nasty, does the body deteriorate so much after hitting the 20 mark? “ He says jokingly, looking at what I’m doing.

“Uhm I’ll have you know my body is perfectly fine thank you very much. What’s nasty is these green peppers, yuck. What is wrong with you liking that stuff?” and I stick out my tongue at him while his eyebrows are up in his hairline.

“You don’t like green peppers? Why did you put them on then?” and he immediately starts picking them off a few slices more for me.

“Because it’s your favorite. I can just pick them off and you can still enjoy them.” I see him taking them off and my heart starts to beat just a little faster. 

“Well I appreciate that. Thank you.” In his head he also says  _ You know when Chris said a girl ordered a pepperoni and green peppers pizza for her friend I have to admit I hoped it was you _ . But he doesn’t say that out loud.

“You’re welcome.” and I look at him from the corner of my eye and see he’s happily chewing on the pizza. For a moment we sit in silence and eat the pizza, I for one do not know what to say actually and I think I’m not the only one struggling to find a path in this whole just chilling idea. I was right.

“Ok this isn’t working. I can’t sit here pretending we’re just regular friends or something. You ordered this pizza for a friend but I’m not.” and I look at him a little taken aback by his words. “I’m not though, I’m not a friend, I mean am I? It’s so confusing y/n.” I see he’s trying so hard to not freak out or get angry and before I know it instinct takes over and I place my hand on his wrist.

“I know, I.” and I’m looking for the right words while he’s looking at my hand on his arm. “You’re not a friend, not just a regular friend though. You’re something else.” and I bite my lips trying to hold back everything I want to say to him. What he then says pulls me out of my thoughts immediately.

“Dylan was suppose to work tonight with me, he didn't even call to say he wasn’t coming. His mother did, she said Dylan came home from school, locked himself in his bedroom and refused to come out.” he looks at me with serious and sad eyes “what did you say to him?” he’s not angry or upset with me, that I can take from his voice at least. He just really wants to know.

I pull my hand back and start to fidget with my fingers “I poured a bucket load of things over him that I am not suppose to know.” Eric’s eyes grow wide in shock. “I’m so sorry Eric, I can’t sugar coat it or lie to you. Do you believe me when I say I didn't know of another way to do this all?” and I bend my head down to try to catch his eyes.

He finally lets me in and looks at me “I believe you. What’s bothering me the most is that you didn't let me tell him. Then again how would he ever believe me. Can I ask you a question?” He says in one go.

“Uhm I’m confused, wasn’t that a question already or was the second sentence the answer?” we both look at each other with a frown “never mind, go ahead and ask” and I shake my head.

“You said you’re here for me, are you here for Dylan as well and in the same way?” he tilts his head “okay two questions”.

“I am not here for Dylan with the same reasons, however I want him to walk away from it all like I want you to.” this was the first time I said out loud that I was here to try and stop him and I feel my hands start to shake as he looks at me in a way he hasn’t before.

“You said you couldn’t tell anyone or stop it?” his voice a lot more hard then before.

“I said I couldn’t tell anyone, that I am bound by rules. I can’t go to the police and tell them to search your room or whatever would lead them to” and I’m conflicted, as to how I’ll word it all “to your plan to bomb the school” I decided to voice them harshly. Eric is horrified when he hears me say those words, he looks around for unwanted ears but we’re still very much alone. 

“Can you not say that out loud?” and his eyes are darker then before but still no sign of anger. 

“We’ve been beating around the bush since the beginning. Of course I’m here to try and stop it.΅ I stand up, wipe the crumbs off my legs and walk over to stand right in front of Eric, he keeps looking at my face eye contact unwavering. I start to rub my arms because it is getting colder now.

“You’re cold, let’s go get you my coat.” and he wants to stand up but I’m not moving, my knees almost touching his.

“And you’re talking over the subject” I try to sound serious but the thought of him wanting to give me his coat is distracting me.

“Well you’re cold and I have a coat but I do not have a single fucking clue as to what to say about you being here to stop a plan that’s been in motion for almost a year.” he’s making big gestures with his hands 

“I understand but at some point we’re going to have to talk about it.” I say firmly. He does something I didn't see coming, he gently places his hands on my arms and pulls me a bit closer to him, my knees now touching his legs.

“Then why don’t you start with why you’re here for me? You want to talk, talk.” and his eyes are piercing right through me.

“I can’t I told you.” and I look down avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah that’s all you said but why? Why can’t you tell me, I want to know y/n!” and he squeezes my arms ever so slightly before letting them go.

“Because if I do I can’t go back.” and I raise my arms to let them fall down and slap the side of my legs. He’s confused and tells me so.

“I’m confused, what do you mean can’t go back?” and he too stands up.

“Literally, if I tell you the exact reason why I’m here, why I want you to abort mission I’m not allowed to go home. I’ll be stuck here, in 1999 as the 20 year old me. Cut off from everyone I love and care about in a time that is not my own.” I shut my eyes and bite my bottom lip while I place my hands on either side of my head. I’m not suppose to say what I’m about to but I can’t contain myself “I’ll only tell you if I know you’re here to stay and only then because I do not want to be stuck here alone.” and I shake my head no and I feel the familiar sting in my eyes. Eric’s mouth is open a bit but nothing comes out.

“I’m thinking maybe I should go.” my words shaky.

“No please don’t.” Eric says and when I look at him he’s visible moved by what I said “you can be refused back in your own time?” 

I look at him, a tear escapes my grip trying not to cry and rolls over my cheek “yeah I can. I’m only allowed to try and stop you and Dylan by talking to you and showing you limited things. It’s so complicated” and I wipe away the tear. 

“That’s brutal. Wait you also said something about an invention that shouldn’t exist? What was that, can you tell me more about that? But don’t if you’ll get upset. I don’t like that”

I laugh and say “that invention is why I’m here, it gave me the reason to try and get you to walk away so unfortunately I can’t talk about that. I’m sorry.” looking at him I see he tilted his head and looks at me with yet another look I haven’t seen before. He shakes his head up and down.

“Okay I understand. Are you okay?” he’s looking at me with worry on his face, when he sees me shivering.

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m just a bit cold but I think I should go anyway.” and I smile at him.

“Let me at least bring you to where you’re staying this time.” and he’s almost pleading with me.

“I came in my rental. Sorry” and I want to take the pizza box that is now empty but Eric picks it up before I can and bumps his head against mine. 

“Oh sorry about that” he says and his face is mere inches away from mine, his eyes shoot up and down between my eyes and lips. I try to focus on his eyes but I can’t help wandering over his face and he sees me looking at him. 

“It’s okay” I say breathlessly and I slowly turn my head away towards where my unopened coke can is. I pick it up and turn around to the opposite side of Eric. He scrapes his throat behind me.

“Can I walk you to your car?” he asks softly.

“Sure” and I turn to face him and see that he’s standing there waiting for me. He walks into blackjack and I follow him, I greet Chris and wait for Eric to grab his things from the back before he walks me to my car.

“Thank you for the pizza and drinks” I say to him.

“Wait you didn't pay?” he asks and I shake no “oh great that’s gonna be cut from my pay” 

“No, let me pay you then. I don’t want you” but I stop talking when I see him laughing. “Eric Harris you’re an ass”

“It was a joke.” and he playfully punches my arm.

“I made a joke once and look what happened then” I say pulling an Im-still-sorry face.

“Your joke was” and he points a finger and his voice goes two pitches up in volume “No, nope I’m not doing that again” and he laughs when he sees me biting my lips trying not to. 

“That’s the car” and I point to the small rental. We walk over there and stop next to the car door. “Tonight was” and I’m searching for words.

“Different.” Eric finishes for me “in a good way although I’m sorry my question made you sad. I didn't mean to.” and he comes and leans against the car next to me. Maybe 10-15 inches between us. 

I look up and see that the sky is so clear and without thinking I say “Wow look at all those stars. They’re gorgeous.” and I turn to look at Eric who’s looking up now.

“They are, aren’t they. It’s so clear outside, have been for the past days actually.” and I have to take this chance, I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.

“Eric, what do you think about when you look at the sky at night, when there’s no clouds out and you can see all the stars?” He immediately turns to look at me, recognising his own words like he did the first time in the car.

“Did you just…” but he stops talking and he turns his head looking away from me. When he looks back at me his whole demeanor has changed and he says “the past few days when I looked up at the sky, all I could think about was you.” he keeps his eyes on me and I can see his chest going up and down, heavy and rithmic.

“I don’t know what to say” all I do is smile at him. My cheeks burning and my heart heavy. He turns his body so he’s fully facing me.

“Why don’t you tell me what you think when you look up?” he crossed his arms and a cute, slightly smug smile appears on his face.

I cannot pretend to try to hold back anymore and in all honesty I tell him “the past few years all I thought about was time travel and I’ve spend hours and hours probably weeks in total thinking about what you were thinking back in 1999 when you looked up at the stars. I’ve looked at every star above me and wondered if I could do what I’m doing right now, if you would be open to me, the idea of me and me as a person. What would happen when I met you, Eric I have notebooks written back to back about all my thoughts that involved you, all that you where and all that you became” He’s eerily silent while I was talking and still is now that I’m finished. “Say something” and I chuckle nervously.

“I would if I had any idea what to say. You’re telling me that.” but he can’t find the right words. “ His hand goes up to his chest and he says “that you felt this when you weren't here? Is that what the notebooks are filled with?” he’s desperate for answers which I can’t give him.

“It wasn’t exactly the same but yes, it’s the reason I’m here.” I’ve said too much. “I should go.” and as I pull the keys out of my pocket Eric steps forward and blocks the door.

“We’re connected somehow I know that much, there is no other explanation for every little goddamn thing I’m feeling these past days but I can’t understand how. I’ll figure it out though. You can be sure off that and then I’ll finally understand and they, whoever holds you to their rules can’t blame you.” He takes his hand off the door and for the first time he is the one to leave me behind.

He smiles at me and waves before turning around to walk away.

I look at him walking away and my heart is a little less heavy for the first time in days. Just a small spark of hope, a light in the dark around him. As the physical distance between us increases the emotional connection intensifies hugely. I didn't know it yet but that night the only tears I’d shed would be in lights of hope.


	5. Smiles and tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments I get are amazing! Thanks everyone who left kudos. Hope you readers enjoy this.

Loud and intruding knocking wakes me up. I sit up straight looking at the door. It’s raining heavily outside I can hear it crashing into the pavement. Panic washes over me instantly, no one knows I’m here who could that possible be. It’s still dark outside and when I look at the alarm clock I see it’s 4:30 in the morning. Whoever is banging on the door isn’t going to stop but then the person starts to talk, a voice that I recognise before he reveals his identity.

“Open up, it’s me Eric. Come on.” 

I’m in shock he’s here, how does he know? No time to really think about it though, quickly I start to look around me and grab my notebook and Samsung Galaxy s20 and stuff it all in the black bag after I take it out from under the bed.

“I’m coming just a second, need to put on some clothes.” I lie to him while frantically looking over the room to make sure I got everything important. Stuffing the bag under the bed again I quickly put my sweater on over my pyjama top. The shorts will just have to do. I walk over to the door and my heart is pounding ready to jump out of my chest, I feel as if I’ve ran a marathon. I open the door and there he is Eric, soaking wet from the rain. He’s not even wearing a coat and his shirt is drenched, sticking to his body as if it’s vacuum. 

Unlike the loud banging on the door he’s now completely silent. Looking at me with big, scared and bloodshot eyes. “Eric? What are you doing here? You’re soaking wet, come in” and I wave for him to come in but he’s nailed to the ground. “Eric?” I repeat but still no answer, he only opens his mouth as if he wants to say something but doesn’t. He’s scaring me but I decide to walk over to him and gently pull him in by his arms. “Come on let's get you out of the rain first.” he doesn’t resist but remains silent. I close the door behind him with a soft thud and he reacts to the sound by looking back at the door. “Here sit down. I’ll get you a towel.” and I place him on the foot of the bed and go into the bathroom to get him a dry clean towel. When I come back he hasn’t moved an inch. I walk over to him and hand him the towel “here you go, dry yourself off a bit.” he’s dripping on the bed while he takes the towel and presses it against his face. I pull up a chair and sit in front of him. “Eric please talk to me? Are you okay?” I ask ignoring the one question that burns in my head  _ how did he find me _ . 

Finally a faint voice comes out of his mouth when he says “I’m fine” he opens the towel and rubs it over his hair a few times but then discards it besides him. 

I pull a painful face when I say “really, you’re fine? Come on you’re completely drenched. Where is your car?” and I lean forward my hands on my knees.

“It’s at home, I would have woken my parents up had I taken my car” he’s starting to fiddle with his fingers while he says so. He sounds like a child, a vulnerable little child that doesn’t yet know enough words to say what’s going on inside of him. 

“You came all this way walking, in the pouring rain? Eric why?” and the way he looks at me scares the shit out of me. His upper lip starts to tremble and his brows pull together in the middle like he’s ready to cry. That frightens me, the fact that he feels safe enough to let his emotions show like that. He looks down and a whimper escapes his lips. I get up and sit down next to him, placing my arms around his shoulders. He lets his chin rest on my arm. “Hey it’s okay, I’m here. You can tell me” after a brief moment of us sitting like that he looks up at me and shakes his head no.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I just..couldn’t stay home and I didn't know what to do or where to go so I came here.” and he immediately stands up after saying that “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have come to you” and he raises his voice slightly. I quickly stand up as well and place my hand on his arm squeezing him empathically.

“Hey don’t say that.” I say calm but firm “it’s absolutely fine that you came here. Although at some point you might wanna tell me how you found me here” I say it with a smile, I don’t want him to get any more upset then he already is. 

He nods and with a breaking voice he says “alright, are you sure it’s okay I can go if you want me to?” he says staring at the ground.

“I am a 100% sure” and I raise his head up with my index finger. Eric lets me do so and when I find his eyes my whole heart breaks for him. He came to  _ me  _ and no one else. He trusted  _ me.  _ I give him a warm smile. But he can’t return it. Not yet.

“How about I go get us a drink from the vending machine? I’m thirsty.” I say wanting to break this moment and I turn around instantly not waiting for a reply and get a few bank notes from my wallet.

“Yeah sure.” Eric says with a voice a little more steady and he sits back on the bed, I hesitate to leave him alone in the room with all the things under my bed but I figure it’s okay since he doesn’t know about the bag, or so I think. 

“I’ll be right back” I say getting into my shoes and as I step out of the door I immediately start to freeze, I almost forgot I was only wearing shorts. I run over to the vending machine and pull out a diet and a regular coke. When I walk back I see that my rental is right in sight of the sidewalk further along the road and figure that’s how he found me. 

When I open the door my heart sinks into my untied shoes. Before me on the bed is the entire content of my black bag. The notebooks, the folder that holds everything about Eric and Dylan that I needed to know while being here, my samsung phone, cd’s and some other things and in Eric’s hands is the blue Broncos sweater his jaw is clenched shut while looking at it and then back to me. My mouth drops open and I have no idea what to do with myself. So I start by walking over to the little desk and put the drinks down, after that I walk back and slam the door shut.

“So this is what’s in that black bag” Eric says breathless and in utter shock “Is this my fucking sweater? How did you get that, did you go into my house?”

I walk over to him and take the black bag and start to put things back in but he takes it from my hands “no, answer me right now. What is all this stuff” he has the sweater still in one hand and the folder in his other. 

“My stuff Eric. Private stuff, how dare you go through my things?” and I try to take the folder out of his hands but he won’t let me. “Eric give that back, you are not allowed to see what’s in there, please don’t open it.” and I’m pleading with him and I place my hands over his, the one with the folder and the other in which he has the sweater “please you’ll only get hurt and jeopardize my going home if you do so” but he’s extremely upset and probably can’t think clear.

“If this is about me then I have every right to read it!” and he shakes his hands away from mine and wants to open the folder. I raise my voice “ERIC NO” and he’s startled by my reaction “Don’t read that I beg of you, read one of the notebooks or something else, yell at me, curse at me or get angry do whatever but please do not open that folder please, please Eric” and I didn't even notice I started crying while pleading with him. It’s of the utmost importance that he doesn’t open that folder and I can’t contain my fear nor tears. He’s snapped out of his anger and lets go of both the folder and the sweater. 

“Y/n I’m sorry look I’ve put them both down.” he says looking at me with an unreadable face. I try to calm myself down but I’m still crying, my one hand in front of my mouth the other hanging besides me shaking. “Hey come here” Eric says while pulling me in by my shoulders, his wet cold body pressed against me, his arms tightly around my waist. He softly speaks into my ear “I’m so very sorry, I come here unannounced and do this to you while you were so sweet to me. I am so sorry. I don’t want to yell at you or curse, don’t say that” his words touch me and my answer is one of bodily response only at first because all I do is pull him in even closer, I let my head rest on his shoulder and press my face into his neck. Boundaries are already starting to fade. My arms locked around his neck. Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces do. His hands on my back I feel he too starts to nuzzle my neck “I’m so sorry, you’re the one person I don’t want to hurt” he whispers so softly the rain almost drowns out the words. I start to shake my head. “I just have to deal with so little real answers and I got overwhelmed by the need to know what was in the bag since I saw you place it under the bed that one time. It’s no excuse, just a reason” and those words pull me out of the embrace.

“What? You knew about the bag, how? It was too dark just now for you to see me and how did you know I was here?” my arms still around his neck and his arms still firmly around my waist and even though he let me get back enough to look at him he wasn’t letting me go. His head falls down before he starts to tell me the truth.

“I followed you here that first day when you walked here from Columbine after getting out of my car. Every day have I followed you here and looked through a small crack in between the curtains.” his voice is guilt ridden but he’s man enough to tell me the truth even though I know from things I’ve read that he lies his way out most situations. “I keep saying it so it may sound like bullshit but I swear I do mean it I am so sorry” 

Any other situation I would have probably been mad as hell but I think I get it. “You are really something you know that?” and he looks up at my words probably stunned I’m not yelling at him. “This is one bitch of a situation we’re in. I get it.” and I let go of him and walk back a few steps “I do, really. I have no idea how I would have reacted if someone came up to me one day and told me everything I have told you.” and I go over to the bed and pick up the folder and place it back into the bag. The notebooks as well. When I look at the sweater I look over at Eric. 

“Will you forgive me?” he asks.

“For what?” I ask in return.

“Everything, coming here at this hour, being mean to you after you’ve treated me so good from the start, following you and the list goes on” a small hopeful smile on his face.

“Eric, stop. You’re only human. Nothing to forgive now go put this on in the bathroom” and I hand him the sweater. He looks at me and I can see he’s struggling with this whole situation. “Thank you, you’re so different from everybody else I know. You’re so understanding and all that.” A short silence follows but then he starts to chuckle “of course I’m gonna put it on it’s my sweater.” and because this situation is so bizarre I start to laugh. “What, this is my sweater” he says a faint smile on his face.

“Twilight zone warning. It is your sweater, only I brought it with me. This is the same sweater you have but I bought it back home. From someone who got a hold of some of your things. I was too late to buy the other stuff but I did get the sweater” and that pushes Eric off his feet and onto the bed “are you alright? I tried to warn you” I say with a guilty grin.

“Well fuck me. This is the same sweater I have at home?” and he looks like he’s about to faint. 

“Yes. I’ve had it for a couple of years now. The person selling this also had your shades and some cd’s I believe.” I think he deserves to hear a little more than my usual vague answers. 

“Jesus christ that is so fucking unreal what you just said.” and he looks at me “thank you for telling me though. I really want to know what’s in that folder too” he looks at me so determined.

I walk over to Eric and say “I’ll tell you but first you need to take this off” and I pull on his shirt which is freezing “you may want to take a shower to get warm first” and he looks down on my hands still holding his shirt.

“Yeah right, no I’ll just chance into this creepy ass sweater of mine, well yours technically. Or not? Fuck it, I’m not gonna go there” and he gets up to walk over to the bathroom and within minutes he comes back in the sweater and I can’t help but smile when looking at him. “What why are you smiling?” he asks but I lock my lips and throw away the key.

“I thought you said you were 20 not 13” and he comes over and sits next to me on the bed. I’ve put all the things but one back in the bag, I didn't see my phone, neither does Eric, yet.

“Locking your lips is a forever thing not just a 13 year old thing” and he laughs.

“Yeah whatever, you child” but when he stops smiling he becomes more serious “tell me what’s in the folder please?” and he does something I didn't foresee, he takes my hand in his and after proper hesitation he also laces his fingers with mine. Breathing gets harder and I’m afraid my heart can’t take it. Again we fit together like the last two pieces of a puzzle with 10.000 pieces.

I decide to answer him straight up “it has pages from your journal and Dylan’s journal, time schedules of your work and classes. More documents like those and some very horrible stuff as well that they made me take with me as a reminder” I will never let him know his autopsy report is in there as well and I will destroy it the second he leaves to make sure he can lay his eyes on those papers. They put it in there so I’d always be reminded but screw them.

Eric looks at me and at first I think he’s going to ask me about the horrible stuff or who’s making the rules for me but he doesn’t. All he says is “thank you for being so honest and straight with me.” and he looks down at our hands.

“You’re welcome Eric Harris.” and I look at how he studies our hands. It takes everything for me not to yell at him to stop his whole insane plan of him and Dylan. I want to tell him how it’s not going to be what he thinks it will be and every other single thing you can imagine telling him to stop him from doing what he plans to do. If telling him why I’m here would stop him I would, I’d sacrifice my whole life and everyone in it to stop this from happening.  _ But you can’t can you? _ that small voice in the back of my head tells me. 

“Why did you use my full name?” he pulls me back in reality with his question. 

“Hmm sorry what?” and I look at our hands together and back at his face, smiling when I see he does too. 

“I asked why did you use my full name” and he pronounces every word carefully this time as if I’d gone deaf on him.

“Because I don’t know for how long I still can. That's up for you and Dylan to decide” I decide to go with honesty again. Dejection written on his face and he gives loneliness back to my hand when he lets go of it to stand up. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” I tell him but he shakes his head.

“It’s not what you said it’s who you mentioned” he says concerned.

“You mean Dylan?” he ignores my question and leans over on the bed and picks up something pink from the bed.  _ FUCK _ I think to myself, it’s my phone. 

He looks at it and turns it around in his hands “what is this?” and I hit myself on the forehead.

“That is something you where not suppose to see.” and I bite my lips and close my eyes at how careless and stupid it was to miss it when I put everything back in the bag, so focussed on my writings and the folder. Eric looks at me and waves the phone back and forth as if to say hello. “It’s my cellphone..be careful it's very expensive” and he looks back at the phone dumbfounded.

He finds the side button and presses down on it for my lockscreen to pop up. It’s a picture of me and my little sister. He looks at it in pure amazement. “This. Is. A. Phone?” he says stressing every single word.

“Yes that is a phone, technology is very advanced.” since he already saw it I might as well explain more. “It’s basically better than your computer” he looks at me in shock.

“You’re shitting me? This little thing can do everything my computer can? You’re lying!” and he chuckles. 

I stand up and take the phone from his hand and show him the menu, files on there, my apps etc. “I am not, there are games on here with better resolution that your video games, the sound quality outdoes your car stereo although not in volume and back home it surfs the web and everything.”

Eric either feels excitement, amazement or spooked I can’t really tell, probably a mix off all of them. The look on his face is comical and I can’t help but laugh as I use my teeth to play with my fingernail. 

“Unbelievable, you’re unbelievable. Telling me all that like it’s nothing and is there a camera on here as well right?” he touches the camera lense on the back of the phone.

“Yep, it’s 64 megapixel. There is one on the front as well it’s probably one of the best cameras on a phone out there, well in 2020 that is.” and I grin.

“So you can just take a picture with this thing from both sides and you call it a phone? Do I want to know about the computers?” and his facial expression is amazing, he looks so overwhelmed by all off this.

“Well laptops are also touchscreen and that is the least of it, some even allow you to take of the screen to use it as a tablet” and he’s blinking as if there’s sand in his eyes.

“What, tablet? What is that wait never mind, I can’t, you’re too much. The camera alone was enough to take in thank you” and he looks down at the phone in awe.

“You, want to try it?” and I take the phone out of his hand and open the camera to show him. “Here take it” and I give it back with the camera opened. “Press that circle when you found something you want to take a picture off, something you like. Oh and tap the screen to make it focus on what you want” and I take a step back and see him standing there with the phone in his hand like a70 year old trying to work it. It’s making me smile so hard. 

“Listen woman, press the circle, tap the screen. What are you doing to me?” he says all annoyed but joking, making me laugh. “Are you laughing at me?” and a mischievous smile appears on his face. I can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry it looks funny, in the most surreal way. I don’t mean to laugh at you.” and he takes a few steps closer, phone still up in his hand.

“Ohoo but I think you did. Look at you, you’re peeing your pants aren’t you, like how you told me? You old lady” he’s laughing so hard right now it’s perfect. All the heaviness is lifted off my shoulders and in this one moment however short I laugh my most sincere laugh for him. Right at that moment he raises the camera and snaps a picture.

“Right there, now that I wanted a picture off.” he says sweetly. He caught me off guard “Harris, did you just?” but I can’t finish the sentence.

“Yeah I did. I made you laugh and snapped a picture of you, I tapped the screen to focus and everything. Not bad huh for someone who never held a wireless computer before” smugness drips from his face. He walks over to me and shows me the picture. The biggest smile on my face, teeth showing. Head back a bit looking slightly up. My one hand on my belly and the other on my chest, laughing at what he said. It’s a beautiful picture, probably the best ever taken of me. He’s standing so close next to me showing his masterpiece.

“Do you like it?” he asks me hopefully.

“I love it, Eric” and it takes all my self control not to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, my face already closer to his because it feels so right to do but I know I can’t. That’s one rule I cannot afford to break. “Thank you” He nods while still looking at me, he too leans in a bit but does nothing, though his lips parted ever so slightly.

“Eric?” I say softly still so close to him.

“Yes?” his voice soft as well and I swear I could hear him swallow.

“What happened that made you walk here in the rain?” I might be mistaken but I think there’s disappointment in his eyes. Perhaps because I broke the moment asking about this or just because I broke the moment. My mind is racing. From the picture to right before my question the room was filled with static electricity, I know we both felt it. The sparks are almost visible and I know it can’t be long before he knows exactly what our connection is. 

I lean down to get the bag and put the phone back in.

“Is it something to do with Dylan?” I ask before sitting down on the bed again, one leg pulled under me. Eric sits down as well, exactly like me and turned to face me.

He nods and says “yes” and he takes a deep breath “we had a major falling out over the phone earlier” and his eyes are sad again like when he first arrived. “He doesn’t trust you and he also made it very clear that he wants me to stay away from you. He also said somethings that made little sense” and he licks his lips.

“What didn't make sense?” I ask nervous that Dylan told him about my unfortunate choice of words. Eric just shakes his head.

“That really doesn’t matter because that couldn’t be true. No way, He must have misunderstood you.” his cheeks are red and his whole demeanor gets sad and it hurts me. It physically hurts me to see him like this. Once more do I overstep the rules and I hug him, leaning on my one leg, getting really close.

“I hate to see you sad like this Eric.” his arms find their way around me again.

“I think you’re the first I’ve ever been able to just be sad with.” his honesty is endearing and when I let him go he adds “Usually I just get so angry but not with you.” he looks satisfied, that he can tell me this or that he doesn’t get angry with me. I’m not sure one or the other.

“I understand that Dylan is angry and that he doesn’t trust me. You need to make him understand that he can trust me” I tell him and Eric huffs.

“Yeah I’m not sure I can make him see that. He’s mad at me because I told him I did trust you. He yelled at me, saying I betrayed him” but then Eric starts to close up again. “It’s difficult and I’m not sure how to handle it.” he looks over at the clock and notices the time “fuck” he says and he gets up. “I have to go before my father wakes up for work and I can’t sneak in again” 

We both get up at the same time and he gives me a small smile more anxious though.

“I’ll see you somewhere today I guess?” he asks me.

I pretend to think it over “hmm who knows” I say jokingly.

“You know and I do too.” he says a smirk on his face.

“Oh you do huh?” I ask him fake defiantly.

“Yes because I know where to find you otherwise” and he crosses his arms smugly.

“Hmm maybe I’ll just pay a visit to your house, have a lemonade with your mom and pretend to be 17 again.” and Eric turns so pale I’m afraid he’ll fall over but he recovers quickly.

“You can’t pass off for 17 anymore” and he chuckles a little insecure “you look way too” but he stops and bites his lips which curl up to one side. His cheeks flustered.

“Too what?” I ask smiling.

“Never mind” he says completely flustered.

“Fine, let me bring you home or at least close to your home so you don’t have to walk” and I grab the keys to the motel and the rental when we both head for the door.

“Thanks” he says while opening the door for me. The cold air hitting my legs.

“You’re welcome, now hurry because I’m freezing.” and I catch Eric looking at my legs with a smile.

“I bet so” and he has no idea what kind of effect he has on me when he says that.

In the car we buckle up and I head towards his home “oh right you know everything” he says mocking me when I he sees I do not need directions. 

“Absolutely everything” I say rolling my eyes, suddenly very aware that I’m only wearing very short shorts. Eric’s eyes keep shooting towards my legs and out the window again. I can’t help but feel a bit flattered because of it. When we almost get to his street he tells me to stop.

“Yes sir.” I say while pulling over.

“Stop that.” he says but I can see he’s smiling.

“Why?” I ask him.

“You’re being silly. Now tell me where will I meet you today?” and he’s looking me in the eyes as he says so. 

“It’s Friday isn’t it?” and I raise one eyebrow. 

He looks down to the left and then raises his head up with a huge smile on his face “the bowling alley” and he laughs. “You’re coming bowling? You think your poor bones can still handle that?” and he’s so happy with himself.

“Tssk” I scoff “I’ll be fine, not sure how good I’ll be but I’ll manage, besides I want to see how you chuck that ball down onto the lane.” and I smirk looking at his vengeful face.

“Oh you funny one with your knowing stuff. Well guess what” and he opens his seat belt.

“What?” 

He opens the door but doesn’t exit yet “I know some things about you too” he says very cocky.

“Do you now?” and I lean back again the window.

“Yes I do” 

“And what do you think you know?” I ask curiously.

“Well lets see, you drink diet coke, have poor taste in pizza, hardly any control over your bladder anymore.” and he starts to laugh making me laugh with him.

“Ass” I say but then he stops laughing and continues a lot more sure of himself.

“You also have the best and prettiest laugh I’ve ever seen on any person. You’re kind, sweet and compassionate.” and he looks down at my legs and back at my face which can only be bright red while I bite my lips at his words. “Another thing, you like being around me the same way I like being around you. Maybe Vodka was right” and that last sentence was directed more so to him then to me.

My breathing is irregular and I imagine my blood pressure must be through the roof. My fingers and face start to tingle at his words. He must know what the connection is or at least start to have a feeling. He’s not an idiot and he’ll figure it out soon enough. If only he knew what was on one of the disks.

I scrape my throat “well those are some interesting facts about me you’ve gathered there” I manage to say while he opens the door and gets one leg out the door. He looks back at me and smiles.

“ And I have to admit, your legs are killing me woman” and he shakes his head while getting out of the car. “They’re part of the reason you can’t pass for 17 anymore”

I’m shocked, I can honestly not believe he just said that to me, unaware of me doing so I place my hands in my lap trying to cover myself just a bit. He looks back in the car and laughs when he sees I did so “not gonna work” and he points at my hands making me laugh and shake my head.

“Go home Harris, I’ll see you tonight” and I start the car back up.

“Yeah you can’t wait.” he says laughing. Before closing the door he pops his head back in briefly “I know I can’t” and he closes the door with a loud bang and starts to walk.

I watch him walk away with his signature walk, stunned by every single thing he just said. He’s unbelievable when he turns around and makes hand gestures for me to go away with the biggest smile on his face.

I shake my head and say “I’m so fucked.” before going back.

Back at the motel I look around in the room which feels emptier now that he’s been here and left again. I see the wet spots on the bed from where he sat and I walk over there and let my hands run over them, trying to hold him here. Looking over at the desk I see the two cokes standing there untouched. Then I notice the light is still on in the bathroom and I go over there to shut it off.

I gasp loudly when I see his shirts are still here. He had placed them in the sink wrung out just a little. A plain white shirt and a black shirt with the name Rammstein on it. One I recognize from a specific picture. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s chasing an airplane. I pick up the black shirt and start to wring it out and when I squeezed out as much water as I could I hang the freezing cold shirt up to dry, I do the same with the white shirt. Instead of going back to the bed I take out my notebook to write every single word down I remember that was said by both of us. I do so sitting on the toilet looking up at his shirts every now and then. After what felt like hours I pen down the last sentence of this writing session: 

_ He was right, I can’t wait to see him again!  _


	6. Not one or two but three surprises

I fell a sleep not long after I wrote I don’t even know how many pages in my notebook. After hours of a very deep sleep I woke up famished and got myself some food which I ate back at the motel. I had just chucked the bag and empty soda can in the trash outside when I figured it was time to go get ready, at least get ready slowly. I still had a good hour before I’d head out to the bowling alley. When I step into the bathroom I can’t help but smile. His shirts are already a lot dryer and I decide to blow dry the rest of the water out of them. Settled down on my bed with the hairdryer and his shirts I start with the black shirt, placing the hair dryer in one sleeve so the air stays trapped in the shirt mostly, it’ll be dry within minutes. His school picture pops up into my head but it’s quickly replaced with the memories of earlier this day. My thoughts are focussing on those last few moments in the car together. How he boldly addressed my legs and told me what he knew about me:  _ You also have the best and prettiest laugh I’ve ever seen on any person. You’re kind, sweet and compassionate.  _

I'm sitting there smiling like an idiot.  _ You are an idiot if you think you can change what happened. He killed those people and you want to go save him? Do you honestly believe he is worth saving, worth the huge sacrifice you may have to make?  _ The voice in the back of my head now has a name, it’s Jack. The Leader of the team that helped me get ready, prepare for what I’m failing at right now. I wasn’t supposed to let it get this personal, let him in like this. Allow him to get so close to me that after just a few days he’s already so aware of the connection and on the verge of understanding what that connection entails. I had a strategy planned, it was all planned by people who knew what they were doing and here I was. Changing the whole plan, messing it up. Becoming increasingly afraid that the only way I can get him to abort his horrid mission is by telling him the truth, showing him my heart and all that drove me to take this great risk. Not only did I leave behind people that love me but I now am in grave danger to lose them forever for a chance at another life all together. A chance so small. 

The black shirt is done which gives me a way to push out the thoughts all together. The white shirt will have to dry on it’s own because I cannot sit still like that again. I will drive myself insane with all my thoughts. “I need to move, do things” I say out loud very aware that’s the first sign of lunacy. I take off all my clothes and discard them on my way to the bathroom. I’ll pick them up when I’m done. 

After a good 20 minutes I’m finally able to drag myself out from under the water. Walking to the closet that holds my clothes in my towel. I’m conflicted because I kinda want to tease Eric a bit and go in a dress but then again it’s bowling and he’ll know for sure I liked that he mentioned my legs in the way that he did and maybe I do not want him to know that yet. “Decisions decisions.” and I tap with my fingers on my lips. After a few minutes I’m giving the dress Idea a thumbs down and go with my skinny jeans instead with a soft pink tight shirt that leaves just a little line of bare belly visible. I braid my hair loosely and pin it up in a bun behind my right ear with strands of hair framing my face. Looking at the clock I still have a good 25 minutes before I have to go. 

Picking up my clothes as I walk around the room a loud thud on the door jerks me back up. Standing there with my dirty clothes in my arms hoping it wasn’t on my door, the second thud I can no longer ignore.

“Who is it?” I ask loudly.

“Eric of course” he says amused.

“Eric” I whisper and I freak out because his shirts are still on the bed and my dirty clothes in my arms. “I don’t know any Eric” I roll my eyes at my stupid joke while I chuck the laundry in the bathroom and run back to grab his shirts from off the bed and throw them in there as well. 

“Really granny, forgot about me already?” he jokes and right after that I open the door and see him standing there big grin on his face.

“You’re hilarious” and I roll my eyes at him. He looks into the room and suddenly focuses on one point when his eyes become very big and a devious smile appears on his face.

“Well well doing laundry I see… you forgot something. Right there.” and he points past me at the bra that’s left on the floor and I want to find a black hole and throw myself in it. Knowing there are two things I can do I choose to ride out the embarrassment with a counter attack.

“Yes thank you.” and I go over there to get it and I take it with me to the door “it’s new do you like it?” and I hold it in front of his now beet red cheeks, dangling from the strap. 

He huffs and says “aren’t you a little to old for something that cute?” 

I throw the bra onto my bed and say “honestly I can’t win with you” and his chest puffs up a bit he likes to hear that “but all I’m gonna take from that sentence is that you think it’s cute” and I give him a big fake smile. “Anyway what are you doing here?” I ask putting on my shoes because I have the feeling I already know.

“I’m picking you up what do you think?” and his cheeks are less red but he’s not stepping in.

“Well we didn't exactly talk about where we’d meet so I kinda figured I’d meet you there” my shoes now properly tied I go over to my jacket and bag.

“Yeah I kinda wanted to talk to you before we get there, we can do that in the car” and he watches me put on my jacket and put my keys and wallet in my shoulder bag. “Oh I also brought you this” and he picks up a bag that he had placed besides him on the floor out of sight. 

I frown and ask him “what’s that?”

“It’s my, yours well mine or whatever, it’s the sweater” and he holds the bag up. 

“Oh thank you.” and I take the bag, hoping he won’t ask for the shirts since one is dry and the other isn’t. Don’t want to explain that to him. Luckily he doesn’t. I put on my jacket, take my bag and close the door behind me. 

“Hold up” he says as we walk to the car and he stops right next to me.

“What?” I ask confused and he leans over and goes up with his hand to my hair and pulls out a bobby pin that came loose. He holds it up in front of my eyes.

“Here you go” and he then drops it in my open hand. Walking up to his car he’s silent as he opens the door for me.

“Thank you” I get it and open the door for him.

“Thanks” he says holding up a thumb before putting the key in the ignition but he doesn’t start the car yet. “Right so I wanted to talk to you” and he places his right hand on his leg “Dylan is coming”

“What?” I blurt out.

“Yeah, I asked him too, he knows you’re coming and people will be around too so you can’t throw future crap at him. I told him you wouldn’t and that this way he could see and talk to you in a more..” and he’s searching for a word “casual, safe kinda way” he looks my way.

“I think that’s an excellent idea, Eric” and I nod approving. He looks satisfied.

“Thanks, guess I’m just brilliant.” and he starts the car.

“Don’t push it” I say smiling.

He looks at me from the corner of his eye and as he starts to drive us to our destination he says “yeah you think I’m brilliant”

“Not so much” I shake my head and he puts on music quite loud.

“Sorry can’t hear you” he says very pleased with himself. Turning the volume down a bit he continues on a more serious note “You should also know that Robyn is coming too” he looks at me and his face tells me to behave.

“Eric I can’t say anything you know that” 

“Yeah just checking” and he seems reassured. “I wonder though tell me what are those rules and how are they going to hold you to it, what are the consequences if you break them?” I look over at him and he understands my facial expression immediately “yeah sorry I’ve just been thinking about that all day, you keep mentioning a them and rules.” 

“There isn’t enough time to explain right now, it’s complicated and I don’t know exactly what I want and can tell you. I’ll think about it and get back to you on that is that okay with you?” and he turns his head to look at me. I see he’s pleasantly surprised that I asked him what he thinks. 

“Yeah definitely” and his eyes are back on the road, smile still on his face.

The rest of the ride is in silence and I sit there thinking about how I didn't prepare well enough and it bothers me now that I think about it. 

“Tell me Eric what do you think I need to know about Dylan in order to make the best out of tonight?” and I let my head lean back and look at Eric like I did the first time we were in this car together. Only more comfortable, too comfortable.

“That is a good question. I’m not sure, he doesn’t trust you that's for sure. I think you should be yourself, let him see who you are and he’ll come around. I think.” he’s very unsure. 

“Hmm I hope so. You know” and I feel like I should mention this “it’s different between me and Dylan.” 

Eric furrows his brows “What do you mean?”

“I mean that Dylan does not” and I lean over to him and place my hand on his chest. He look down and up at my face with a tense look “it’s okay Eric, I just want to tell you that Dylan doesn’t have this” and I make circle motions over his chest, just like he did when he first mentioned he felt something around me. “He doesn’t feel connected with me in any way so it’s very different for him” 

Eric gently takes my hand in his and pulls it off his chest “I know” and he keeps a stern eye out on the road. I feel like I should mention that sometime soon we should really address the elephant in the room, we haven’t really talked about why I’m here besides the fact that it’s for him. The shooting or well the bombing of the school hasn’t even come up. And as far as I know everything is right on track like it was 21 years ago. But I decide now is not the time, he’s too tense regarding meeting up with Dylan.

“Tell me more about you.” Eric says out of nowhere.

“Well my favorite color is green and not the ugly green but the soft and deep forest tones of green, like moss and leaves and such.” and when he looks over at me and sees I’m already waiting for his eyes. He hums and says “what a specific thing to say so you like the forest”. he states rather than asks. 

“I really do, you do too” and my eyes are closed while I lean back but I know he’s looking at me. 

“Okay but how do you know that, where does it say I like the forest?” I can feel his eyes lingering at me. I open my eyes and catch his while he quickly looks away. 

“You wrote about playing war with friends in the woods” and he smacks the steering wheel. 

“Unbelievable” he says shaking his head.

“We’re almost there” I say because I love his reactions and he doesn’t disappoint me this time either.

“Can you not do that? I know we are almost there.” and he looks at me laughing “you get a kick out of my reactions don’t you?” and this only makes me laugh harder. “You’re sick really” but he can’t keep a straight face either and starts to shake his head yet again “I bet I don’t want to know the extent of what it is you know about me” 

I shake my head “yeah you really don’t” and I chuckle. 

“I don’t like that” and he looks at me but I can’t stop laughing “stop laughing” which only makes it worse. 

We’re approaching the parking lot of the bowling alley and man is it packed with cars “woow I guess we’re not the only ones who are going bowling” I say looking around.

“Yeah no shit, not a lot else to do around here” and he parks the car and when he takes the key out of the ignition he turns to look at me before we exit the car. 

“What?” I ask because his look is so intense. 

“Nothing I just.” and he hesitates to finish his sentence. 

“Come on tell me” and I shake his arm briefly. He starts to smile again.

“No” he says trying to sound stern but failing beautifully. Now I’m gently tugging on his arm and he says “get out of my car right now” his eyes big and smile even bigger. I pout but do as he asks, not wanting to push him too much.

We get out of the car and make our way over to the entrance of the huge building. Eric greets a few people and when one guy asks who I am he looks at me and squints his right eye when he says “my grandmother” earning him a hit on his arm. I introduce myself to him as an online friend and that’s the end of that. When we approach the door Eric says “what I wanted to say was” and he opens the door for me and I’m anticipating him telling me what it was. As I pass him to enter he says “I like what you did to your hair, you look beautiful” Trying to hide how this makes me really feel I overdramatically place my hand on the side of my head and say “you think I’m beaaaautiful” really stretching the word. He softly nudges me to keep moving as I linger in my place “You stop that and get going” but I turn back to flash him a wide smile which he eagerly returns. Placing his hand on my back to make me move. 

What we don’t know is that from a short distance Dylan is watching us in our little moment. The feeling that Eric is betraying him only growing as he witnessed a moment that to him seems like two people falling for each other and nothing short of that. Love, the one thing he craves the most, that he can’t have. All his suspicions seem to come to life one after another. Eric would soon abandon him like everyone else had. Now that he was so close to freedom, he’s not planning on letting her or anyone else ruin that for him. 

As we go get our shoes it’s Eric that spots Dylan sitting there alone. Eric puts up his hand as a way of greeting him from a distance and nudges me “he’s over there” and I turn to look and catch a glimpse of Dylan’s hand in the air, dropping it immediately when he sees me. Eric turns to look at me and says “please try to follow my lead with him, I know that’s not your strongest quality but please try” Eric is all tensed up and I can hear in his voice that he’s not a happy camper right now, not wanting this to trigger Eric or Dylan I think following Eric’s lead is the best way to go for now. 

“Okay I will, sounds like a good plan.” Eric turns around, disbelieve written all over his face “oh please stop that” I say and we make our way over to Dylan. 

Eric is the first to greet him “hey man, whats up” trying to sound as casual as possible “where is Robyn I thought she’d be here already” and he looks around and takes a seat next to Dylan and tells me to “take a seat”. I smile insecurely to Dylan, remembering how much I hurt him, how angry he was and sad he must have been hearing me say all those things to him. He must have felt so humiliated. I manage to put on a faint smile and say “hi”. 

Dylan looks at me, no expression on his face whatsoever and to my surprise says “hey how are you?” leaving me and judging by the look on his face Eric as well, stunned. 

“I’m okay thank you and you?” I say a little anxious and on guard. 

“I’m good” he says and turns to Eric “Robyn’s in the bathroom she’ll be back any second” and as he says so she makes an appearance.

“Hey Eric” and she waves at him and when she look over at me she says “you must be Eric’s online friend” and she extends her hand to me “hi I’m Robyn nice to meet you” I get up to greet her properly.

“Hey I’m y/n, likewise, how are you?” and she smiles, she has a sweet face and my stomach turns at the thought of how she unknowingly contributed to their horrible plan.

“I’m good thanks. Do you like bowling, are you any good?” and she sits down looking at me, waiting for an answer. I look over at Eric and then briefly Dylan and say.

“I do like it but it’s been a while since I’ve bowled. There used to be a bowling alley not to far from my house as a kid and back then we used to always go but when it closed down we just kinda stopped doing it. I used to be okay but the last few times I sucked” emphasizing on the last word. “So I suggest you team up with Dylan so you don’t get dragged down with me.” Robyn starts to laugh.

“Hey but you are willing to drag me down” Eric asks insulted. Making Robyn laugh even harder and I chuckle. Dylan sporting a small smile.

“Yes you’ll have to face the music and lose with me if there are teams. You know what we should just all bowl for ourselves that way everyone is safe” and I put on my last shoe.

“Now that I can get on board with. Vodka you start off show these girlies how it’s done” he jokes. Robyn flips him off making me laugh.

“I’m gonna go get us all a drink what do you guys want?” I ask them and before he picks up a ball Dylan says “Dr pepper please” and Robyn wants a coke and so does Eric. “I’ll be right back” and take my bag and go towards the bar to get the drinks. When I’m back I see it’s Eric’s turn and Dylan started off with a strike. 

“Here you go” and I place two Cokes and two Dr Peppers down giving a Pepper to Dylan who says “thanks” and Robyn her coke I place Eric’s drink on his side of the table while opening my can.

Eric comes back after having knocked them all down but two. “Thanks, we usually just order and then at the end pay for what we each had.” he explains taking a gulp from his freshly opened coke after he’s done. 

“Oh I already paid for these, my treat” and I sit down.

“Thanks I appreciate that.” Robyn says and she gestures me to go have this turn but I refuse.

“No no you go first, let me get some skills from observing you” and I smile at her. She gets up and go gets her ball. I’m completely shocked when Dylan asks out of the blue.

“So where are you from?” and he takes a sip while Eric and I look at each other in shock. He waves his hand up “What city I mean” looking over at Eric he says “chill out” and he raises his eyebrows even sporting a smile. 

Eric pulls a face to me like I don’t know go along with it. 

“I’m from Amsterdam.” and they both look at me in shock. 

“Amsterdam as in Europe?” Eric asks bewildered and I chuckle at his reaction. 

“Yes Europe’s Amsterdam.” and Robyn comes back happy with her throws. I stand up looking at both of the boys and smile while going up to get a ball and over to the lane. Very aware of the six eyes looking at me, I turn around and yes, six eyes all focussed on me. “Great” I say while making my way to beginning of the lane. Getting in position I swing the ball besides my leg and I hold my breath as it makes its way over to the pins. A sudden flash hits me _the video on Rampart Range where Eric comes running towards the camera with the bowling pin in his hand_. And just like that I missed my own strike landing. 

Behind me Robyn is cheering and Eric is clapping. “Nice start of your game” Robyn says impressed. Eric however skeptical as he is says “It can only go down from here” making me shake my head while sitting back down. Dylan gets up to get a ball and Robyn asks Eric “Is it me or does he seem quieter than usual?” and without blinking Eric says “he’s fine, just shy like he always is around new people” the lie coming out so easily. It punched me hard on my chest. 

“Hey are you okay?” Eric asks noticing the change in my posture. At that moment I wish I was as good of a liar as Eric because when I tell him “I’m fine” he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. His eyes follow my every move after that moment. 

The mood is easy going and even Dylan seemed somewhat comfortable. I try my best but seeing them together like this, like teenagers so normal even though they have something so gruesome planned is really weighing me down. 

After about 6 turns I still haven’t shed these thoughts and Dylan goes to get some drinks and snacks. “Robyn why don’t you go help Dylan?” Eric asks her and she looks over at me and him and says “yeah right ey, be right back”. 

The second she leaves Eric comes and takes her place. “Are you okay?” he asks worriedly. I smile at him but it’s probably not very convincing because he places his hand on my arm. I look down on his hand and say “yeah sure” and he tilts his head.

“You seem so distracted and not okay at all” his voice shows he’s getting irritated because he knows I’m not telling him the truth. I lean in because I do not want anyone to hear me when I tell him.

“It’s you two together.” I almost whisper “It’s a bit confrontational to say the least.” I admit honestly and he turns his head to look at me, his nose almost touching mine, I don’t dare to look in his eyes this close together. 

I can see he’s struggling to find an answer because he knows exactly what I mean but then he breaks tension in a way only he can “because we’re so much better at bowling?” a hopeful smirk on his face that I’ll laugh. I close my eyes and shake my head. 

“Jesus, Harris” I laugh and my heart starts to skip so many beats when he begins to caress my arm with his thumb, his face still so close to mine. My lips part involuntarily and my breathing gets in trouble as well. Eric looks at me from my lips back into my eyes. A small smile forms on his face, one I’ve never seen before and he raises his hand and for a minute I think he’s going to place it on my face and kiss me “what are you doing?” and I jerk my head back just a little, sparking a chuckle in Eric.

“Relax” but then he gently uses his middle finger to place a lost strand of hair behind my ear, letting his fingers fall over my face and neck as he pulls his hand back. I am far from relaxed, my whole body reacts to him doing so.

Dylan and Robyn are standing a good few feet away from us. Standing there still as a rock, looking at us. Robyn has the cutest of grin on her face but Dylan on the other hand, his face is unreadable but his body language gives away that he’s not happy at all. Only Eric sees them because I’m facing them with my back. I turn around and see them standing there and instantly put more space between me and Eric. It’s been my turn this whole time and now it’s the perfect excuse. I get up and say in a high pitched voice “my turn” I walk over to the lane and close my eyes while I grab a random ball and make my way over to throw the ball. I follow the ball rolling it’s way towards the pins because I don’t want to look back. It’s a strike. Behind me people start to cheer and clap and when I turn around I see Dylan clapping as well. What a relieve and I make my way back there. 

Right before I sit back down next to Robyn I bow down dramatically.

“Apparently I don’t suck completely” what Dylan says next really amazed me.

Dylan chuckles and says “well the rest of your throws were so awful this barely pulls your score up” 

My jaw drops to the floor and I say “Robyn say something, back a girl up here” who’s now laughing so hard.

“Girl I would but he’s so right” and all three of them are laughing at me right now. 

“Unbelievable, the three of you” and I point at them, at Dylan just a tad shorter than the rest. 

I feel a lot better, Eric is comfortable, Robyn is so sweet and Dylan seems to enjoy himself as well. Time flies by and before we know it, it’s time to get the bill. I want to give my share to Eric so he can handle that for but he declines “this is on me” he simply says and I try to object but he shakes his head no and walks over to go pay with Dylan and Robyn. I put my shoes back on and get my jacket ready.

When they get back Robyn says “Okay I have to ask where did you get that jeans from? I love how they get tighter around the bottom.” Eric and Dylan both look a bit uncomfortable right now because they know what she doesn’t.

“Oh” and I laugh nervously “I made them myself actually, yeah I wanted to see what they would look like if I narrowed them at the bottom” Robyn starts to make a lot of hand gestures.

“That is amazing” and I narrow my eyes and force a smile on my face. “Well we should go” she says while starting to put her shoes on. I already have mine on and decide to just hold my jacket I was so warm. Eric and Dylan already done.

We head for the exit and when we get outside the cold air makes it easier for me to breath, I take in the fresh air , close my eyes and let out a long sigh. Besides me someone is chuckling and I don’t need to open my eyes to know who it is. I turn to face Eric and snap “what?” playfully. 

“Nothing” he says. Dylan and Robyn looking at him as well.

“Oh this again with the not finishing your sentences..” and I roll my eyes wondering what it is he wants to say, every single time he didn't answer his sentence it was a flirty compliment or comment. 

Robyn asks “Ice cream?” and looks around. I look at Eric and Dylan and pull a face like okay with me. 

“Alright” Eric says “if you want to since I’m your ride” he asks me. Dylan’s head jerks up at the comment.

“You picked her up?” he asks in a tone a little too harsh looking at his friend. 

“Yeah” Eric says indignated at the question. Dylan doesn’t say anything else about it but he does say “I think I’m gonna head home but you guys go have fun, get some ice cream” his tone a lot softer. 

“Come on Dylan tag along” Eric says trying to motivate his friend. Right as he asks him it starts to rain like crazy. It’s falling from the sky as if it just opened up a dam above us. “Uhm home it is guys” Robyn yells and she says goodbye quickly before running to her car, Dylan just waves at us and Eric and I make a break for his car.

Eric opens up the car doors and we get in, we’re all soaked from that short time outside. In his car I start to laugh and Eric looks down on his wet pants “what’s so funny” and I try to tell him but I’m struggling to get the words out.

“Im...it was..so.. and now I’m” but I can’t stop laughing. I think it’s because the tension is finally broken. I place my hands on either side of my face but when I look at Eric’s face who’s really confused about my laughing I just start all over again.

“Ooookay” he stretches the word “I’m gonna start driving” and he does as he says. After a few minutes I’m calm again and scrape my throat.

“It’s just, it was so warm in there that I didn't put on my jacket so the air outside could cool me down and now I’m all drenched and cold” and I chuckle again. Eric looks over at me, letting his eyes wander over my wet, slightly see through pink shirt, hugging me in all the right places and wet at that. 

“Shit” he mumbles and I look at him, his hands holding the wheel tightly. 

“What?” and I keep looking at him but he doesn’t look back at me. So happy I can finally breathe again I pull my seatbelt forward and sit up in my chair so I fully face him and lean in a bit “tell me Eric”

He glances over and shakes his head “Sit back down before you pull a muscle oldie” he smiles while he’s talking.

“Listen” and I raise one finger up not changing my position at all “I am 2 years older than you, I am not old” and I boop his nose with my finger causing him to look at me and smile that lopsided smile. 

“Okay behave we’ll get into an accident if you keep this up” but he fails to keep control over his eyes and I follow his stare and immediately understand what he meant just now and what’s going to cause the crash. I sit back in the passenger seat and just look at him and out the window. “That is a lot better” Eric says teasingly he starts to laugh real hard when he sees me sticking out my tongue while I flip him off. “Trendy granny” he says cocky.

“Ah” and I hit his arm softly. The rest of the ride is quiet and when we’re almost there I remark “hey you didn't even put the radio on”. He looks down on the radio.

“I guess I forgot” and his eyes are on the road every second until we get to the motel. I pick up my jacket and turn to Eric.

“You wanna come in for a drink?” and Eric looks at me and I see he’s very tempted.

“No thanks, gonna go home and try to get some sleep, we need it for tomorrow” 

“We?” and I look at Eric in wonder of what he means.

“I’m picking you up early around 8:30 so be ready” he says smugly.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise but I’m sure you’ll love it” and he smiles a very sweet and innocent smile. 

“Well I guess I’ll be ready at 8:30 sharp then” and I smile back at him.

I turn to open the door but before I can get out Eric says “Don’t forget about the sweater in the bag”

What an odd thing to say “I won’t” and as I get out I say “Good night Harris, sweet dreams.” 

“You too sweet dreams. See you tomorrow” 

I walk up to the door and as I open it I look back, Eric waves at me, I wave back at him and only then does he start up the car again to drive off. 

The bag that the sweater was in greets me when I get in. I change out of my wet clothes and into my pj’s and I take out the sweater to put it back in the black bag but as I do a piece of paper falls out. I pick it up and when I see what's on there I completely forget how to breath all together.

On that piece of paper is written in a familiar handwriting:

_ Are you sure it’s still your sweater? _

_ -Eric _

My hands start to tremble while I look at the sweater. 

“He switched them” 

Without hesitation I bring the sweater up and his scent intoxicates me completely. I hold the sweater up and look at the note making my heart swell up two sizes if not three. I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me tomorrow!


	7. A moment in time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the comments that are left at my chapters. All of them, you guys make me so happy!

The morning air felt cold against my skin. It was almost 8:30 and I decided to wait outside for Eric to come pick me up. Grinning like an idiot thinking about his reaction to my clothes. He made the destination a surprise which gave me a great excuse to finally wear this. It’s a casual black tight t-shirt dress with the Broncos sweater over it. I brought my jacket just in case but it looked like it would be a good day. The ground still wet from the past few raining evenings but it was bright outside. It took forever for me to fall asleep last night because I couldn’t stop trying to think of places we would be going and why it would require us to go so early. It’s very quiet outside so when I hear a car approaching I get up hoping it’s Eric.

It is him. His mouth turns into the biggest smile when he sees me standing here in the sweater. He drives over and opens the door for me.

“Good morning” he says very chirpy. I place my left knee on the chair, smile at him while I place my bag and jacket on the back seat before I sit on my seat properly.

“Morning to you too” and I buckle up. “Right so where are we going” I ask enthusiastically. He looks my way with one eyebrow raised and sighs heavily.

“Have you no patience?” he says driving off.

“No do you?” and I look at him in wonder. All he does is shake his head before he stops the car promptly. “What?” I ask looking at his serious face.

“Did you bring your wallet? Just because I paid yesterday doesn’t mean I’m paying for everything.” his face as serious as a heart attack.

“You’re kidding right?” and I sit up straight “tell me you’re joking. Do you really think I’m like that? Do I look like a princess to you?” it’s his face, he looks so serious but it’s also his face that gives him away when that one side of his mouth curls up into that damned smile. “Aaah Harris, stop that, you’re not funny” I say trying to not smile.

“Really I’m not funny? Then why are you smiling?” he says looking back between the road and me.

“I’m not smiling” I say with my lips tightly sealed.

“Yeah you are. Your mouth isn’t but your eyes are” and after he says that he keeps his eyes on the road. It’s 8:33 and I’m already having trouble breathing. “You couldn’t pass for a princess though, you couldn’t be contained in those stupid dresses and royal etiquettes ” he continues.

“Really, you think I lack etiquettes?” and I look at him trying to find out what he means.

“No no you misunderstood me. What I said was you can’t be contained. You’re way to free and etiquettes and stiff ways are not for you, you’d suffocate.” eyes still on the road.

“Geez Harris I’m actually flattered, that is a good compliment” and I see his cheeks go red “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” and he smiles at me “still not saying where we are going though, you’re really gonna have to wait.” 

“For real, come on give me a hint Eric” and I turn in my seat to face him.

“No absolutely not” and he looks at me and sees me pull a pout “stop that” and I lean in closer to him, one hand on his shoulder. “You stop that right now” and he chuckles. I try my best puppy eyes on him. “Are you serious?” and I nod yes. “I can’t believe this.” and he shakes his head. I stop the pout but I keep looking at him with that silly please-tell-me face. “Y/n stop” he says trying to sound serious.

“Oh fine” and I stick out my tongue.

“You’re the most childish grandmother I have ever met in my life.” but he’s smiling.

“Eh you know you like me” and I lean back into the seat still tired. “Oh lets do question for a question, please” I ask Eric nicely.

“Sure, you go first” and he relaxes because he places his right hand on his leg. 

“Okay, if you’d be an animal what would you be?” he looks at me briefly and says “a dog. I like dogs”

“What is your favorite movie?” Eric asks me. 

“Hmm from before 1999 or whenever?” I ask and he cringes before he says “whenever but if I don’t know it you have to describe it to me” he says.

“Fair enough, favorite movies always change for me, I do not have one favorite but I watched A quiet place not too long ago and that was so good. It’s about a world where people cannot make any sound or the freaky alien monsters will get you and in the movie you follow a family in their survival.”

“That sounds like a movie I’d like” Eric says.

“I think you’d like it as well, I love Event Horizon by the way. I want them to do a remake with new technology, it could be awesome.” 

Eric looks at me “we should watch Event Horizon sometime” and I look over at him his eyes already waiting for mine. “Hmm” is all I let out to him asking me to watch a movie with him. This is so not how it’s supposed to go, there is hardly any distance left between us and I have no idea if this is a good thing or if I’m gonna end up hating myself forever. “Your turn” Eric says happily unaware of my thoughts.

“How long before we reach our destination?” 

“With the stop we have to make for some food still well over an hour, yeah” He looks over and sees me get all curious again

“An hour?? Honestly Eric just tell me where we’re going already” I whine.

Eric raises his hand up and pokes my cheek. “It’s my turn to ask a question not yours!” and I look at him with my mouth wide open and he just laughs “what’s your favorite song?” he asks and it’s such an innocent question but the answer is so far from innocent. Because for the past years ever since I found out about Eric my favorite song has been the saddest and most painful I’ve ever listened to.

“My favorite song is not a happy song at all why don’t I tell you about a good second place?” I ask not wanting to lie to him. 

“No tell me, it doesn’t matter what kind of song it is.” he says while we waits in front of the red light. He’s looking at me with such a happy smile.

I hate that I’m going to have to say this out loud “It’s a song called Ghost” and Eric’s smile fades off of his face and he just looks at me with a blank expression and all I can do is look back at him. “Are you okay?” I ask him because he looks as if he just saw a ghost. He nods shortly but when I want to ask if he’s sure I get heavily distracted because of something I just noticed. “Hey” I say leaning in on him, very close. My hand on his cheek “your eyes are hazel” and I start to smile. 

Eric pulls his head back a bit.“Yeah why?” he asks while I’m very aware of how close we still are.

“It’s just, I didn't notice the color before now.” I sit back in my seat again thinking about how I was right all along hazel eyes, that I now finally know. The rest of the questions we ask are quite insignificant and at some point we just become very silent. “You know, your eyes are really beautiful” I say avoiding them completely.

I see his eyes on me but I’m not turning to look at him. Eric says nothing but “thanks”. After about 15 minutes we drive up into the parking lot of a grocery store. We step out of the car and walk into the store. I take a shopping basket and follow Eric. We shop in silence, getting two water bottles, some snacks and pre made sandwiches. Walking over to the register I remember I left my bag on the backseat. “Oh no I forgot my wallet. Ugh. It’s in my bag on your backseat”

“How convenient” Eric smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I am so sorry, I’ll give you back what I owe you in the car, I promise” I tell him and when it’s our turn he gives a 20 dollar bill to the cassiere “princess forgot her money” he says tilting his head in my direction in fake disbelieve. 

“Oh you’re so mean Eric.” and I hit his arm laughing. This time he looks at me and his smile is warmer than before. Walking back to the car I say “this is the most comfortable sweater I have ever had” and when I open the car door to get in I see, from the corner of my eye that Eric looks happy with what I just said. In the car Eric places the bag in the back seat reminding me to get his money. While he starts the car I say “hold up” and I get on my knees on my seat and lean in the back “oh shit my bag fell” and I lean down very deep to get it from under my seat. Behind me I hear a soft “goddamn” and only then do I realise my ass is completely up, in a dress.. I close my eyes and gently move back to the seat. Trying to ignore what just happened. I catch a glimpse of Eric’s red face while I sit back down. Both of us decide to ignore what just happened. Forgetting all about the money. The last 15 minutes we just listen to music. I notice the groups of trees are getting a bit more dense and it looks beautiful over here, leaves are still making a return but it’s starting to look like a beautiful forest again. How I love that, the beginning of the softer season, making everything look fresh and vibrant. That’s when it hits me and I gasp loudly making Eric’s head turn to me immediately.

“What are you okay?” he asks a bit worried.

“Yes it’s just, I think I know where you’re taking me.” and my eyes become big and ecstatic. Eric looks at me all happy.

“Do you now?” and he keeps looking back and forth between the road and my face.

“Yes I do.” and I start to get really excited.

“Well tell me then, let me hear if you’re right or not” 

“I’m thinking you’re taking me for a walk in the forest. Am I right?” I ask hopeful.

“Would that make you happy?” he asks a bit insecure.

“Yes.” I blurt out. Making Eric happy and smile.

“We’re going on a walk in the woods” he states and his words make me so happy, the way he said it and because only once did I mention I liked it and he immediately planned on taking me. 

“Oh my god” and I slip out right from under my belt and hug Eric from the side. My arms around his neck, head on his boney shoulder. I stay there for a few seconds before leaning my chin on his shoulder telling him “Thank you so much. You were right” and I watch him turn his face to meet my eyes briefly.

“I was right?” he asks unsure of what I mean.

“Yes, when you said yesterday that you knew I’d love it you were right. I do, I love it Eric” he doesn’t look at me but I see the corner of his mouth curl up and his chest puffs up a bit.

“Sit back in your seat please” he asks nicely. I do as he asks not just because it’s safer but even more so because I actually had to refrain myself from giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“We’ll pull up soon, there’s a good path in a little bit” he says happily.

“I’m so excited” and I shake my head looking at him. He sees and asks me “what?”

“Nothing it’s just, this is so awesome. Thank you so so much.” and I place my hand on his right arm with which he’s holding the steering wheel. He looks down at my hand and up to my face and with a joyful face he says “we’re here” and he drives up to the small parking lot. 

He takes the bag from the back seat while I grab mine. I take my bottle of water, the sandwich and the snacks I chose. Taking my wallet out I ask Eric “How much was it?” 

He walks over to me and takes hold of my hand in which I have my wallet and pushes my hand down towards my bag. “Don’t worry about it” and I drop my wallet in the bag and his hand lingers on mine for just a bit. “Lets go” and we walk up to the pathway. 

I inhale the scent of everything and close my eyes as I do so, letting out a big happy sigh. Besides me someone chuckles. “What? Can’t a girl savor the moment?”

“I was just looking at you, savor all you can and second off all you’re not a girl” and he’s beaming.

“Oh ha ha cause I’m a grandmother right?” and I walk up the path in front of him.

“Well I was gonna say you’re more like a woman rather then a girl but grandmother works too” he says cheekily. 

“Was that supposed to be a compliment but then you just changed your mind or what?” I say looking back at him catching him looking at my legs. Quickly I turn back around hoping he didn't notice me looking at him. 

“No I mean, you just asked for it didn't you?” and he chuckles walking past me in a quick pace. 

“I just wanted to beat you to it.” I say uppening my pace to keep up with him. He starts to laugh.

“Well I just wanted to be nice” and he looks at me. “Come on” he says. Together we walk well into the forest. It’s gorgeous, the fact that it’s still a bit cold and most trees are still bare do not make it less beautiful. It’s so quiet almost eerie. For a while we just walk in silence, enjoying the nature and walking the path.

“Let’s go off the path” I suggest.

“Really? Do you dare?” Eric asks with a grin.

“Oh please, I come from a badass family. We’re afraid of nothing” I say walking over to Eric to push him off the path. He starts to laugh with one brow raised when I do so. “Let's go Harris” and I keep pushing him forward. 

“Okay take it easy woman” he says while turning around to get away from my hands. “I’m going already” and I start to walk faster, almost running with Eric behind me “badass family huh, tell me about that?” he asks curiosity in his voice.

“Well first off all when your little buddies” and I make quotation marks at the word buddies “tried to take over Europe my grandfather was in the resistance. Fighting for his country in every way that he could. His sister even hit a german soldier when he tried to steal her bicycle. She was a total badass, people would be lined up against a wall for things like that.” and I get all proud thinking about the heroes in my family. 

“Well that is something indeed. More heroes?” he asks interested.

“Actually yes, the police tried to frame my dad once and they wanted him to falsely confess to a murder he didn't commit, later he would find out a police officer was the real murdered and that’s why they tried to frame him. He wouldn’t cave though, even with a gun to his head he wouldn’t” 

“Your bloodline is quite something huh.” Eric sounds mad when he says so and I look over at him, he is angry.

“What’s wrong?” I ask not understanding the sudden change in his mood. 

“It strikes me as a little odd that you boast about your family being all badass. That’s all.” his eyes are almost black now.

“Why?” I ask still confused.

“Isn’t it obvious? You come from the year 2020 to change something that happens in 1999. Is that because you’re from a badass family? Are you trying to prove that you’re a hero as well? Is that why you’re here?” he asks defensive and accusatory. 

In caught me completely off guard, I didn't even think about it like that. I take a moment to think about what I’m going to say. These moments are crucial. Actually it’s good it finally comes up and I try to answer as best as I can.

“Eric I didn't mean it like that. Honestly I just meant that going off path isn’t something I’m afraid off. Now that I think about what you said I know I shouldn’t have connected it the way I did. I’m sorry.” looking over at Eric I see his eyes are less dark but his demeanor is still very tense. “I’m not the person to do something for a status or whatever. When I do something it’s because I think it’s right, because I want to do it solely not for anything else. I promise you that.” and I walk towards him trying to access if he'll let me in. He doesn’t avoid me. “You know I’m here because I do not want you to do what you’re planning to do.” I knew I couldn’t avoid the subject so I take this chance to make a way into the subject. “But I will tell you, against all rules in by the way, that you’re the first reason why I do not want it to happen” I’m standing in front of him looking down on my feet and I’m fidgeting with the sweater a bit.

Looking back up I see Eric is looking at me, our eyes meet and I smile cautious. Relieved to see he does the same.

“I believe you” he says and then he breaks eye contact and looks at the ground “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to attack you like that it just sorta happened. I thought maybe you lied to me or something.” 

“Pssh Eric, I’m not like you, no offense but I can’t lie for shit. My life could depend on it and I still couldn’t.” I say crossing my arms.

“None taken.” he says looking at my posture “you really can’t lie?” he asks unbelieving.

“Even in moments where I really needed to I couldn’t.” and I push up my shoulders. “Can we walk again? It’s a bit cold standing still” 

Eric looks at me and his eyes rest shortly on my legs “I bet so” and he starts to walk. I follow him and we walk further into the woods. “I’m sorry” he says again. I walk over to him and nudge his shoulder with mine.

“It’s okay. I can see where you were coming from” smiling while I say so. Eric greets my smile with one on his face as well.

“Thank you, you’re so compassionate. I’ve never seen that before in someone, not the way you are anyway.” Eric looks so vulnerable when he says things like that. “Is that something that comes with age?” he adds and starts to chuckle at my reaction. My eyes are all rolled back into my head and I let out a big sigh. 

“You just have to ruin the moment” I say a bit annoyed. Eric just chuckles again.

The way we are walking leads down a bit and it’s quite steep and my nerves falter. I stop right there. 

“What’s wrong?” Eric asks.

I’m a bit embarrassed to tell him the truth so I say nervously “nothing let’s just go this way” and I point in the other direction of where we’re going. Eric looks at the way it goes down and back at me making the connection in his head.

“Are you scared to go down?” he asks and a cheeky smile forms on his lips.

“What” and I try to look at him like I’m insulted “pssh scared” and I cross my arms again looking down worriedly.

Eric starts to laugh “oh man you really can’t lie for shit” he walks over to me looking down next to me “come on it’s not that bad” he says smiling so close to my face, making everything so much worse for my nerves.

“I don’t wanna” and I pout at him. Making him smile.

“Ok how about this, I go down first and hold your hand while you do so” and he looks very determined to make me do this.

“You’re gonna make me aren’t you?” and I pout even harder. He starts to laugh and when he’s done he says.

“Yes, well I hope you will because there is a little stream nearby and I want to show that to you. He looks so sweet when he says that.

“Uuugh fine but only because you said that so sweetly” I say pointing my finger at him. Eric smirks but walks down immediately probably afraid I’d lose that one string of nerves I mustered up.

Halfway down he extends his hand for me to take and looking down on it I’m getting very warm inside at the idea of holding his hand. I take a few steps and as soon as I can reach for his hand I take it. His hand is quite cold. He holds my hand tightly and says “you’ll be fine just one step at a time” I breathe out slowly and start to walk down. It’s going ok but then my foot slips on a couple of leaves and I start to slip my way down. Eric’s reflexes are brilliant because he catches me, one arm around me still holding my hand as he quickly guides us down. I push in against him and he starts to walk back all the way down. His eyes piercing right through mine and he’s holding me so close, afraid we’ll fall I try to focus on my feet but it’s not working because all I can do is look at him. His arm around my lower back his hand on my side holding it tightly. Hands still locked together. When we finally reach solid ground I let out a nervous chuckle letting my head fall forward on his shoulder. Eric holding me tight and everything inside me screams to stay like this forever. Standing completely still his cold thumb starts to caress my hand and his other hand is moving up and down on my side, his head softly resting on my head. He pulls me so close against him. He twirls me around a couple of times making it almost as if we’re dancing to the rhythm of our hearts. I place the right side of my head against his shoulder, his cheek resting against my forehead. My arms make their way around him, holding him. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest and I know for a fact his mind is racing because mine is too. I close my eyes, listening to the beating of his heart, I let my hands go up to his back. It’s Eric that breaks the silence.

“See it wasn’t so bad” he whispers at a soft tone almost tenderly. Making my heart melt and my mind error. I finally managed to pull my head back up but when I look up at him I quickly avert my eyes. 

My voice shaky when I say “if you ignore the fact we almost plummeted down Everest.” a soft chuckle in the back of his throat.

“There’s a tremble in your voice, where you that scared?” he asks innocently still holding me so close, his hands radiating tenderness as they hold me. 

I finally dare to look at him, sadness clouding my face as I say “Terrified”. 

His brows drew together and his eyes scan my face trying to understand where this sudden change came from. “It’s okay now” and his lopsided smile makes an appearance. 

I let go of his hand and I see him looking at his hand and then back to me. Breaking this moment is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, it takes all my strength to let him go like this when all I want is for this moment to last forever. Eric takes a step back and says “come on, it’s this way”. 

Together we walk over to the place he wants to show me. “Okay let's continue that question game” Eric says and I answer happily.

“Yeah sure, you begin this time.” 

“Alright could you tell me more about those rules that you have to follow and about the people who hold you to them?” Eric asks carefully.

“That are two questions, I’ll tell you first about the people” and I sigh deeply “the institution that controls all time travelling is located in France. I spend the last 8 months before coming here in that institution. They make you go through tests, mentally and physically. To see if you’re stable enough to be able to travel. I can’t specify how the travelling is done. The team leader is named Jack, he’s brutal to say the least. He led the team that worked with me from the agency I come from. You know how I can’t talk about anything with anyone besides you and Dylan. They will know because if for example I drop a hint with someone big enough for them to handle on it, it will already begin to change the course of time.” and I look over at Eric who seems to be taking in every word I’m saying.

“Okay that is interesting, I have a ton of other questions” Eric says.

“But it’s my turn” and I grin at him “why did you take me here today?”

Eric looks at me “because I hoped you’d like it” he simply states.

“Yeah but” and he shushes me.

“One question at a time. Why is a 20 year old girl allowed to travel through time, I mean it would make more sense if you’d be older and wiser right. At least if I think about something so important that would be my first idea”

“First off all rude. I am extremely wise.” and I stick out my tongue playfully. “I cannot fully answer this question, sorry but what I can tell you is this. I was allowed to come here because of the connection between us. They deemed it to be so important it became a great reason for me to be send back.” and I look at anything but Eric. 

“And you really can’t tell me what that connection is?” he comes walking besides me looking at me very intensely. I look at him and squeeze my eyes shut.

“Sorry.” and his head bows down a bit “besides it’s not even your turn” and he snickers. “Can you touch your nose with the tip of your tongue?” and Eric starts to laugh.

“No” he says.

“Let me see” I retort.

“No” he smiles. “We’re almost here. It’s just around the corner” 

“Will it help if I pout?” I ask him and he shakes his head no. “Oh come on, what can I do to make you try it?” when I see Eric’s answer I start to scream internally. 

He points his finger on his cheek and says “plant one right here and I’ll show you I can’t touch the tip of my nose with my tongue” 

I stop right where I stand, Eric looking at me very amused. 

Not wanting to hurt him with rejection I say “Ew you’re a boy” pullin a disgusted face making him laugh. Then I see the stream he was talking about and I say “Woooow” and run towards it.

The stream isn’t too big but it’s beautiful, big rocks beside it and low bushes as well. The water is so clear you can see everything in it. Eric catches up.

“Eric this is gorgeous, thank you so much for taking me here.” and I walk over to the rocks and sit down on one motioning for Eric to sit on the one besides me. He does so and since they’re close together our knees touch. 

“Okay I don’t know about you but I’m starving” I say to Eric and I swing my bag to the front to get my sandwich. Eric does the same and in silence we eat. When we’ve both finished our food we just sit there and watch the water flow by. 

“I’m glad you like it.” Eric says before taking a sip of water. 

“That would be an understatement, I love it. Such a perfect place to just sit and relax” I say opening my bottle to drink some water.

“Hey y/n, I know it’s really weird how we met and all but I’m glad we did” he says kindly.

I look at him, observing his face after what he just said. “Can I be honest and straight with you?” I ask him.

“Of course” 

“I’m conflicted sometimes because on the one hand I agree with you, I’m very happy we met but then sometimes I get scared. If I can’t save you then how are all these moments going to feel as memories?” Picking on my water bottle label I wait for his reaction.

“Save me.” he says tremorous. And when I look at him he looks aways instantly, his mouth slightly open and his brows furrowed. I wonder what he meant when he said that. 

“I’m sorry. It was too direct.”

“I didn't expect you saying something like that, is all. No need to say sorry.” and he pushes my knee with his fist. This time when I look up he meets my eyes and smiles.

After sitting there for about 20 more minutes we decide to walk back to the car. We take another route back avoiding the steep way up. When we approach the car I look back at the trees we just passed one last time. “Bye trees” and I wave at the woods.

Eric just laughs and opens up the door of his car for me. I walk over to get in and thank him. Opening his door he gets in and we both buckle up after placing the bags in the back.

“This was the first time I spend so much time with girl in one day” he blurts out when we’re back on the road “I had a lot of fun” 

“Really? Never went on a short trip with anyone?” I ask in disbelieve.

“Nope” he says a little bitterness in his voice.

“Well that’s a shame, bitches don’t know what they’re missing out on” I say with a smirk, he looks at me a surprised smile on his face.

“Well I didn't expect that either, you’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” 

“Ha! You haven’t seen nothing yet. Three years from now you’ll still be surprised.” I chuckle but as soon as I realise what I said my head falls back and my eyes close. When I turn to look at Eric he doesn’t look back. “I am so sorry I didn't think about what I said it just popped out”

“You don’t have to apologize” and I look at him and see he’s smiling like really smiling “it’s nice and sweet what you said” and I’m really glad he sees it like that. A small light of hope sparks in my chest.

“Too bad I have to work later on otherwise we could have made a whole day out of it” he says.

“Don’t push it a whole day with you” and I look at him with a look of terror. He starts to laugh.

“Yeah right ey. I got a bit carried away there” both hands on the wheel.

“You know I’m joking right?” and I look at his face trying to access if he does.

He looks back and raises his hand up to my face, placing it on my cheek, softly. He smiles and says “Yeah I do” and when he pulls his hand back my cheek burns, his hand imprint there forever. 

The rest of the car ride the mood is friendly and we listen to KMFDM. Looking at him driving, it just looks so ordinary. Us sitting here, chatting a bit, listening to music after a morning of walking in the woods. It’s all very surreal. If I didn't know any better I’d say this was a perfect date. But I do, I know better and this was no date. It’s all part of a bigger picture, I just needed to make sure I didn't lose sight of it. Which was a lot easier said than done. 

We drive back into familiar surroundings and I feel sadness wash over me when I know the motel isn’t far away anymore. Eric drives up in front of the door of my room and shuts the engine off. He clears his throat and says “as you probably know I have work in a little while”

I nod and say “yeah I’m aware” smiling at him. He looks down on his lap.

“So when will you pop up again?” he asks making my heart flutter.

“I’m not sure, maybe I’ll have pizza for dinner” looking at him smiling.

“Yeah I think you should. One with lots of green peppers” he jokes.

I pretend to stick my finger in my throat and fake hurl at him. “I’m thinking maybe you don’t make my pizza” and I laugh. I get up on my knees on the chair making the same damn mistake again to grab my bag and jacket this way. Sitting back down I see Eric looking at me with a devious grin on his face. Putting one and one together I blurt out “Oh my god you just checked out my ass.”. 

Eric’s face turns a little red and he says “that’s your own fault climbing over the chair like that” and he places both hands on the steering wheel. I shake my head and open the door.

“Okay goodbye.” I say overdone but I do turn to look at him and say “thank you so much for today. I’ll see you around dinner time”

“Yep you will” and he looks at me exiting his car. Waiting for me to open the door and get out of sight. 

After he dropped her off he drove home. Parking the car he sat there for a while. Thinking about today, how he felt seeing her in his sweater, she knew he switched them and replied by wearing it. Over that black skirt revealing her gorgeous legs. He enjoyed every second he spend with her. And when she bend over the chair that first time in front of the shop he thought his head was gonna explode. Showing off her perfect ass and legs to him like that. He wondered if she did it on purpose. But absolutely nothing could compare to that moment in the woods where he held her, she was so close. The way her body fit perfectly in his arms, her hand in his. Aaaahh he could still feel her against him, the scent of her hair filled his head with all kind of thoughts he never had before. When she let her hands go up his back he thought his knees would give in. His hand goes up to his heart and he feels it going completely mad just thinking about that moment. The song she mentioned, Ghost he was sure that was the song he heard outside of her door. He couldn’t shake the thought that maybe Dylan was right..Could it be true..


	8. Full Saturdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later that Saturday their day together continues.

“Listen Eric all I’m saying is that I don’t believe that all of a sudden Dylan changed the way he looks at me. One game of bowling and he trusts me? It just doesn’t make sense.” I say opening the door to my motel room. Letting me and Eric who’s holding our pizza in. It’s late already since I decided to go at the end of his shift. 

“Why are you being so stubborn, give him a chance will you?” Eric retorts and places the pizza on the desk. He takes off his coat and throws it over the chair. Looking at me I can see he’s annoyed at me. 

“I’ve already said why, he starts off not trusting me at all just a few days ago. Yesterday we go bowling and today at Blackjack he’s all” and I’m looking for words “chill and even talkative, inviting me like he did? I just don’t believe it.” when I see his face I add “I’m sorry”. I’ve taken off my shoes and jacket and take the pizza with me on the bed. “Come and eat some” I tell Eric. Reluctantly he comes and joins me on the bed but does not eat anything though.

“We met not even a week ago and look at us.” Eric says trying to stick up for his friends change in behaviour. “You’re from Phobos basically and it took us 2 days to warm up to each other. Why is it so hard for you to believe that maybe it’s the same with him?” Eric says all defensive.

It’s hard to talk about this without giving things about Dylan away. Eric has no idea that in January Dylan still wasn’t even seriously committed to NBK the way he was. I mean he wanted to participate absolutely but he also figured he’d be dead before NBK would even happen. I can’t tell Eric that ever but it makes it really hard to explain to him why I don’t trust Dylan’s change of heart.

“First off all it’s very different between you and I” and I take a bite of pizza. After finishing what’s in my mouth I continue “you know that.” but Eric is getting really frustrated.

“Do I? You know exactly why it is we’re so drawn to each other, I don’t.” and he gets up starting to pace in his place. “I’ve had enough of not knowing what it is.” and for the first time I feel very impatient with him.

“Well Eric, blow off fucking NBK and I swear I’ll tell you!” I say looking straight at him with a serious face. My tactic was being blunt and so far I’d been really soft. He stops pacing and locks eyes with me. I can see the anger grow in his eyes.

“Is that how you think this will work? You come here batting your pretty eyelashes making me feel things I, for the life of me” and he’s making big gesture with his hands “cannot understand and that you can’t explain to me either and you just say oh just don’t do it and I’ll tell you” hitting a mocking tone in his voice. 

This angers me, I’m not gonna let him treat me this way. I get up from the bed and cross my arms. “Don’t mock me like that. I don’t think it just works like that. I’m bound to rules and you know that. I just thought it was time for me to address why I’m here since I only did so once before and time isn’t going any slower. If anything I feel like I only have an hour left.” 

He scoffs at me “an hour left” and he’s scowling at me. “What do you want me to say? Nothing has changed really. Only instead of playing Doom I spend time with you.” he bites at me.

“Really? That’s all this is with me? A way to pass time. Gee thanks Eric you’re making me feel so special. I thought this was about Dylan but apparently I was wrong.” his words really hurt me and they drag me back into reality in the cruelest way possible.

“Well it was. It is.” and he sighs heavily “what is your problem with Dylan being nice to you?” and his arms are out in front of him, palms up.

“You know what fine I’ll tell you. Because I think it’s fake. Yeah that’s right” I say looking at his mouth wide open. “I think he’s not genuine, he’s just putting up a mask to hide what he’s feeling.” 

“What?” he says choking back laughter “you’re kidding, Dylan isn’t like that. He’s not fake” and he shakes his head in disbelief.

That is my cue to stop pushing it “well maybe you’re right he’s your friend after all.” and I take a step back pursing my lips as I look at the floor. “But Eric, if you really see me as a way to pass time, you should go and we’ll meet in other places and I’ll stop beating around the bush. Focus more on what I came to do you know. I’m not going to be just a cure for boredom” I say not angry at all but definitely sad and hurt. Eric looks at me and a muscle in his jaw starts to twitch. Without another word said he grabs his coat and walks out the door.

I walk back into the bed and let out a loud whimper before letting my head fall into my hands. I feel like the world was slipping from under me and I’m heartbroken. Who was I kidding, thinking the connection was something strong enough to help me in this doomed mission. The agency thought it might be, along with how I was trained but my training flew out the window the second I reached out for his face that first time. I’m failing because of this connection. Letting him get close like this. I let my hands run through my hair trying to pull myself together. Rationalize. What I need to do is look at what happened and learn from it. Dylan was too important, I can’t push Eric into seeing the truth, he needs to find out on his own. I need to make Eric see I’m giving Dylan a fair chance. I feel like crying but I can’t let myself get weak because of this fight or argument. Whatever it was. However much it hurts me there are bigger things at stake or so I try to fool myself that I’m doing it for the right reasons. 

Right as I want to get up to get my notebook to write all my ideas down there’s a single hard knock on the door. My heart jumps up, looking at the door I can almost feel his stare right through the door. I take the door handle in my hand and slowly turn it around, opening the door.

Eric is standing there his eyes a lot softer than before, guilt written in them. This reminds me of that morning he stood in front of my doorstep. Vulnerable and dispirited. We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I want to be the first to say something, to apologize but I have a lump stuck in my throat. He really hurt me with his words even though I have been well aware this whole time that nothing may have changed for him. So instead of saying something I just step aside to let him know he can enter. Immediately he comes in and throws his coat over the chair like he did before.

He stands with his back towards me, his hands in his sides. It’s when I close the door that he turns around and walks up to me dangerously close before he stops. 

“I was in my car. Ready to go but I couldn’t.” and his eyes pierce right through me. “Even though everything inside me wanted to be so angry at you, I’m not.” and he takes another step towards me. “All I am is sorry. The thought of you believing what I just said kills me, do not even for a second believe you’re just a way to pass time. I’m such a goddamn idiot when I get angry.” His hands in his side again after big gestures. He looks down and back up at me “you do believe me now right? Tell me you know I was just angry and that you know I didn't mean it?” he pleads with me. There’s panic in his eyes and I look down at the floor.

“I hoped you didn't mean it.” I say still looking at the floor.

“I am so sorry, please look at me” Eric raises my head with his hand under my chin and for the second time that day tension is palpable. I look at him and he continues “I promise I didn't mean it” and he takes a step closer making me hit the door with my back. My stomach turning at how intense this moment is, I see him swallow hard as he looks at me. I nod my head and give him a faint smile. His eyes never leaving mine.

“I know, I believe you.” I tell him. Immediately he closes the gap between our bodies, leaning against me before he takes me in his arms, still looking into my eyes. Instinctively I reach my arms around him. Our faces are so close his nose touches the top of mine. Eric licks his lips as he looks at mine. He does so and my hands stop working while they rest on his back, I can’t think properly and I know I should push him away but I forgot how to do that. His voice raspy and low when he says “sometimes I think I know what our connection is but I know there’s no way that can be it” his sharp nose pushes against mine as he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. His hands squeezing me tight as he holds me.

Slowly I managed to pull my arms back and I place them on his chest to gently create some distance and his body instantly reacts as he takes a step back. 

“Eric I am sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed on about Dylan like I did. You know him, I don’t. Not like you anyway. I promise I’ll give him a fair chance.” and I smile at him while I let him go completely. Eric’s chest is going up and down in a heavy and slow pace. He looks at me and says. “Thank you” and in his eyes I see he’s disappointed that this moment ended the way it did. He knows. The connection is becoming clear to him. Hell there hardly is a way to deny it. The frustration I feel must be even worse for him. At least I know why my body gets filled with pure electricity when he’s this close. 

“I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back okay” and he nods. I turn around and walk into the bathroom. A small fear inside of me that he’ll leave while I’m in here. I look at myself in the mirror and study my face. My cheeks are all red, eyes big and bewildered. I splash some water in my face and let the water run over my wrists trying to calm myself down. If he ever does that again I am not so sure I can do the right thing. I take the towel I left there this morning and dry my face off. 

Getting out of the bathroom I see Eric sitting on my bed cross-legged with pizza in his hand and mouth. He looks at me and says “what I got hungry okay” and he keeps chewing. I start to chuckle and walk over to sit next to him. 

“Leave some for me will you” and I take a piece as well. “Hey Eric?” I ask him.

“Aha” he hums with his mouth full of pizza. 

“Do you want to go to Robyn’s place? Dylan did invite us” and I shrug like we-could-go.

“Are you sure? I mean you shouldn't if you don’t really want to and after just now” shy and embarrassed he takes a sit of the coke he opened. 

“Yeah I’m sure, look I promised you I’d try and I intend to do so.” his eyes grow wide and that lopsided smirk on his face. “Unless you can’t handle more of me on this day?” and I get a little shy when I say that to him.

“Alright but then I want to go home to change and so should you because you look horrible.” and he smirks while he gets up looking a bit more at ease again. 

“Really your compliments are radiant this evening.” I joke.

“I’m sorry, really you know I am” he says his eyes a little sad again.

I walk over to him and tell him “stop that, you already apologized. It’s okay.” and I start to laugh while looking at him.

“Why are you laughing?” he asks serious.

“Because I know why you want me to change” and I cross my arms.

“Oh you do huh?” 

“You want me to change into a skirt or dress again” I say smiling cheekily at him. 

He turns around and walks to the door “honestly woman what is wrong with you. I’ll be back here in 20 minutes to pick you up.” he says smiling.

“Alright, I’ll be ready”

“Good and uh.” he turns around before he closes the door behind him “wear a dress or something” big grin on his face.

“Shame on you Harris” I yell after him as he closes the door. But as soon as the door is closed I walk over to my bed and let myself fall flat on my stomach. My head is spinning and my heart makes noises only dogs can hear. I can’t believe what just happened. We went from semi-fight to one of the most intense moments I’ve had with a guy in a very long time. I was so sure he was going to kiss me right then and there against that door. His body so close to mine in that moment created a burning desire in my core. I think it’s best to take a quick and cold shower, for reasons...before I change into some fresh clothes. 

Coming out of the shower I knew what I wanted to wear. After Eric dropped me off today after our walk in the woods I decided to do a little shopping and I had bought the cutest simple black spaghetti-strap dress that reached just above the knee with a white t-shirt to go underneath. I was going to braid my hair up again, a little different from before and when I looked at myself in the mirror I fully realized I had dressed like I knew he’d enjoy. I knew he liked dresses and my hair up like this. He was going to notice that I dressed in a way he expressed to me he liked but I just didn't mind. I’d just make a joke about it. Like he did when asking for this. He would be here any minute now. Impatiently I grab my bag put my things in and go over to the door. One arm in my jacket I swing the door right open only to find Eric on the other side with his hand raised ready to knock. I silently continue to put my jacket on while looking at him.

“Did you see me through the door or something?” he asks and when he looks me over he gets a smirk on his face like I’ve never seen before. 

I smile at him while I walk out and shut the door behind me. “90s enough for you I bought this today” I aks with the corners of my mouth curled up. 

“Wait what, you bought this today?” he asks pointing at my clothes “when?” he’s all confused when we walk back to his car.

“After you dropped me off after out walk in the woods. I got bored and decided to hit the mall” I shrug getting into his car. When Eric gets into his car one of his brows is raised alarmingly high but he doesn’t say anything. “What is it?” I ask him.

“Nothing” he says.

“Liar, tell me” I say and he looks at me, big smile on his face.

“Well I’m just surprised” and he starts the car. 

“That’s not all, you wanted to say more. I can see it in your hazel eyes, Harris. Come on fess up?” and I playfully hit him. 

“You’re right” is all he says. Looking at him with squinted eyes I ask him “I am?” and Eric starts to nod his head “yeah I really can’t handle any more of you today” and he starts to laugh. On the road I see him hand is placed on his right leg and every now and then he peeks at me from the corner of his eye.

“Is it far to Robyn’s place?” I ask and Eric looks at me in shock “what, what is it?” I ask quickly.

“There is something you don’t know?” and his hand is on his chest while he pretends to have a heart attack or so it looks like. 

“Oh jesus christ Harris” and I can’t help but laugh “I know her address if I think hard enough about it, it just seemed insignificant to focus on” and I shrug.

He looks at me smiling and says “it’s not far”.

I lean back into my seat letting myself enjoy the ride. 

“Question, how did your family react to you telling them about your plans to... you know?” Eric asks all serious.

I turn my head and look at him and keep doing so while I answer truthfully however much it hurts to think about it “some people close to me where very angry and we parted horrible. Others understood my reasons more.” I get this wave of sadness over me and I weep inside a little thinking about some of the moments. 

Eric nudges my hand “I’m sorry I shouldn't have asked, didn't mean to make you sad”

“It’s okay. My sweet friend Sofia told me that if I thought it was worth it and that I had a chance that I should try no matter what! Either I end up good in another life or I come back to her warm arms to help me through it” I say with melancholy in my voice.

Eric doesn’t say anything to what I just said and I don’t feel the need to break the silence that fills the car. I want to let him process my words. 

“We’re here” he says as he parks the car in front of a lovely home. We get out of the car and I’m walking up to the front door when Eric takes my hand in his. Looking down on our joined hands I look up at his face, Eric’s looks at me intense and something I think is disbelief.

“You thought I was worth going back for?” his voice shaky.

“Without a shadow of a doubt yes.” I say with a faint smile on my face. 

Eric’s brows drew together, he tilted his head while his mouth opens “I don’t how to respond to that.” he tells me honestly.

“That’s okay you don’t have to, just think about how important this is for me, that you are too.” I see I’m only confusing him more. “Look for now just focus on being here with Robyn and Dylan and whoever else is coming.

“Just one more question. End up good in another life, what does that mean?” and he’s nervous I can tell. I squeeze his hand that I’m still holding.

“You think about what you think that means, I don’t know what to tell you and I think I probably can’t. Now come on we should go, I’m freezing my ass off” I say trying to lighten the mood. 

Eric starts to grin and says “we wouldn’t want that now would we” and he walks up to ring the doorbell, casually not letting go of my hand and neither am I. I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried.

It doesn’t take long before Robyn opens the door and as she does Eric lets go of my hand, but I know she saw that because her brow is raised very high when she says “Hello you two. So glad you could make it, Dylan said he wasn’t sure if you’d make it. Come in” 

We walk in and Eric takes of his coat and hangs it on the coat rack, he extends his hand so I can give him mine. When he sees how tight the shirt is underneath the dress he starts to shake his head. I decided there had been enough tension for me to handle in one day already so I don’t ask. When we walk into the living room there are a lot more people than I anticipated there would be, some I do not recognise and then there are Mike, Erik and Dylan of course. Some are standing and others are sitting on the couches and chairs in the familiar living room circle.

Dylan has a drink in his hand and looks at us “what's up” he greets us. I wave shortly and smile at him. Eric besides me still. Mike gets up and comes my way.

“Well hello Mallory, how are you this evening” he says gleeful and he doesn’t even try to hide the fact he’s looking me over. 

“Mallory? Her name is y/n and stop staring you creep” Robyn says from behind me making Eric and me laugh.

“What you said your name was Mallory?” and his eyes grow wide.

“Yeah sorry that was a uhm joke” I say not daring to look at Dylan or think about that day.

“I’m shocked, shocked you lied to me but I’ll forgive you because you look so beautiful tonight” and he flashed a wide smirk. 

“Easy there tiger” Eric says and he places a hand on my back to guide me past Mike.

“Bye Mike” I say smiling at this situation. Mike pretends to try to reach for me but soon gives up when something else catches his attention. 

I see Dylan’s eyes following Eric’s hand to my back. We sit down not far from Dylan and Erik. When Robyn pops up and asks “what are you two drinking?” 

“Anything alcohol and preferably sugar free will do for me, thank you” and Robyn looks at me surprised.

“You don’t drink?” and her jaw drops open.

“Not on the job” and Dylan and Eric look at me a little apprehensive but Robyn takes it for how I meant it.

“Oh I get it, being around Eric is a full time job I imagine” she says laughing and I wink at her. Besides me Eric pulls me back to face him, his mouth is wide open and the look on his face comical.

“Thanks for that, really your compliments are radiant this evening” he says copying my words, it makes me laugh, like throw your head back laughing. Finally I feel a little normal with some other faces around me as well. We start to chat with Erik and Dylan. About random things and that pulls me back in caution mode because I need to really pay attention to what I’m saying and not accidentally mention a game or whatever that isn’t invented, so I decide to listen more then to participate in the conversation. 

Robyn is really curious still and asks me “okay but why do you really not drink?” and before I can come up with an excuse Mike comes up behind me, holding my shoulders and his face awfully close to mine, his breath already drenched in alcohol.

“I bet it’s because you go wild” and he makes a noise that I think is suppose to be a kitty pur but it sounds horrible making me almost spit out my drink. Dylan is very amused by his friend’s ridiculous behaviour as well and starts to laugh as he hits his leg hard with his hand.

For a while everything is going quite good, conversation is easy even when I do participate in it. The mood is pleasant and vibrant. Eric besides me loosens up nicely and at one point he even places his arm on the backrest of my chair. His fingers secretively running over my arm from time to time. And when I look at him while he does so he averts his eyes with red cheeks but doesn’t take his hand away.

Dylan notices it and not long after he suggest “lets play truth or dare, just us” he says pointing at Eric, me, Erik, Mike who joined us just now, Robyn and himself.

“I think that is a wonderful idea, I’ll start” Mike says and he points at me trying to look seductive as he says “Mallory truth or dare” making everyone laugh, even Eric because Mike’s making a glorious fool of himself. 

“Oh dear lord” I say while sighing hard “fine dare” and Mike immediately puckers his lips earning a hit from Robyn.

“You behave dumbass” she says laughing.

“Okay fine mom.” he says looking at Robyn “I dare you to touch the tip of your nose with your toe.” he says looking at me hoping I’m an idiot.

“In a dress” I ask him one brow raised.

“Yes absolutely, especially in a dress” he says making Dylan and Erik laugh so hard.

I pop my foot out of my shoe, press my dress down between my legs with my right hand and with my left I lift up my leg and quickly touch my nose. Everyone is stunned, Eric’s brows are raised alarmingly high as he witnessed that from close beside me. Dylan sucked in his lips and looks at the floor and Robyn’s mouth is wide open. “That’s right I don’t back down” and I put my shoe back on. 

“I knew I should have asked for the kiss” Mike yells one hand in the air. 

“Mike calm down, I don’t back down but I’m not suicidal either” the room fills with laughter from our little sub-party. Only Dylan’s face is a lot less cheerful after that comment. 

_ Shit shit shit  _ I need to be more careful. “Alright you guys ready, Robyn truth or dare?” she looks at me in shock.

“Can’t believe you didn't pick one of the guys. Fine truth” and as she sees the grin on my face she says “ah oh”

“Robyn answer me this: why, for the love of God did you invite Mike?” Besides me Eric erupts in laughter and so does everyone else. 

“Because his mom made me” Robyn answers only fueling the fire. When laughter dies down she says “Alright Eric, truth or dare?” 

I look at Eric and back at Robyn and hope she’s not planning on asking him something provocative. 

“Truth” he says.

“Okay uhm” and she thinks “what is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to anyone?” 

“You’re asking Eric? We’ll be here all night listening to a million answers” Mike says while blowing Eric at kiss.

“Thanks, asshole.” Eric says looking at us. When he looks at me his smile fades and he answers “The meanest thing I ever said was to someone who exceeds pretty much everyone that I know with their character. I told that person they were just another way to pass time with.” 

My stomach is making somersaults, I can’t believe this. Out of everything he chooses to say this.  _ Exceeds pretty much everyone.  _

Robyn interrupts my thoughts “jesus that is cruel, I bet they got so angry with you” and Eric gets up from his seat.

“Nope that’s the worst part, they didn't. Even though I deserved it.” and then he walks off most likely to fill his cup again. 

As soon as Eric’s out of sight Robyn says “damn that person must be an angel”. 

Dylan joins in “yeah he must be really special to that person” and he doesn’t care who sees but he stares right at me, his eyes aren’t kind they are hard and distant. I look away because I feel awful. Hating myself for how I started off with Dylan, for how I made him feel. 

Eric’s back and he sits down “so my turn, Dylan. Truth or dare man?” 

Dylan’s whole posture changed when Eric came back as if the moment never happened he said “truth and don’t be an ass” he says laughing.

Eric chuckles and says looking around the room “what is the first thing you’d do if you woke up as a girl?” making Robyn and me roll our eyes at the question.

“Hope I’m not on my period” Dylan says causing us all to laugh so loud the rest of the room looks at us, Dylan all blushy looks down and says “thank you all for coming out here tonight, drive home safe” 

“Okay my turn, y/n truth or dare?” and he looks straight at me smile on his face. I look at Eric and back at Dylan, I’m thinking I should not go for truth just in case. 

“Dare because why not” and I clap my hands once. Mike jumps up and yells “tell her to kiss me man” making me laugh and shake my head. Besides me Eric flips him off.

“Why don’t you sing us a song” hearing him say that I close my eyes and cover my face shaking no.

“I’m not singing sorry” and I shrug. 

“I thought you didn't back down?” Dylan said with a cheeky voice. “Fine, another then but you have to do this one because you already rejected one dare.” he says not taking no for an answer.

“Hit me” I say trying to convince myself I’m gonna be fine.

“Why don’t you give the person you like the most in this room a kiss” Dylan’s words icey and when I look beside me Eric looks to be angry.

I fucking knew he wasn’t all happy about everything. “Dylan” I say hoping he’ll change his mind. But he points a you-have-to finger at me. 

I decide it’s best to just do it and just like the first dare I do not hesitate to do it. Turning to face Eric I see his eyes are already on me. And without saying a word I give Eric a small kiss on his cheek. When everybody is done with their “oooh’s and aaaah’s“ I say “And that was the closure of this game” I take a sip of my drink that lasts way longer than it should. Eric beside me doesn’t move an inch. Robyn looks like she’s about to burst and Dylan has a blank expression on his face. The game of truth or dare is over and we return to just talking. I sit there listening to everyone and ask Erik and Robyn a harmless question or two. At some point I feel Eric’s hand on my arm and he never takes it off after that, when I look over his way he just smiles. I decide to let it be and smile back at him but he doesn’t let my eyes go. He keeps looking at me with this intense look and somehow I can’t turn away. 

Look at them, Dylan thinks to himself. They are like pretty little love birds, Eric can’t even keep his hand off of her. Who are they trying to fool, only themselves. The love was dripping off of them and it infuriated him. He was the one that wanted love, not Eric he just wanted to fuck but then SHE came along. Dylan hated the way it made him feel, so jealous. It was unfair, he deserved a love too. She did mention something about Arizona but what if she was lying..It was all too much for Dylan.

Dylan gets up and says “I’m heading home you guys. Have fun and I’ll see you people another day” and as quickly as he says so he’s gone. 

I look over at Eric and lean in asking him “could you perhaps drop me off as well?” I’m tired and seeing them all together was really getting to me. All these people fooled. And then the kiss however small it was, it was ripping through my soul. I needed to be alone, take a long shower and rinse the day off of me. 

“Of course” Eric says getting up immediately. “Guys we’re heading out as well. Thanks for the fun, see you all later!” and he walks to the front door.

“Thanks for everything, I really enjoyed myself” I say to Robyn, turning to Mike I say “maybe drink a little less next time” and with everyone laughing behind me I go to the door where Eric awaits with my jacket in his hands ready to help me in.

“No thanks I’m a little overheated.” and I take it from his hands and he opens the door for me “thank you” 

As we get outside I get hit by the cold and it revives my sanity. Taking in a deep breath Eric comes to stand besides me. 

“Are you okay?” he asks looking at me. 

Looking back at him I feel like I want to cry “not really, I’m a bit overwhelmed. Today was intense to say the least” I smile and walk towards his car. He opens the door for me and closes it for me as well. He comes over to his side and finds his door pushed open a little. He gets in but doesn’t start the car. He looks as if something is bothering him. And I was right.

“Y/n?” his voice soft. I look at him and he says “I’m sorry Dylan dared you like he did.” 

“That’s not your fault besides it wasn’t that bad” and I smile not looking at him.

“It wasn’t?” he asks insecure.

“Nah he couldn’t have dares me to kiss Mike.” and I laugh so does Eric.

“Yeah true.” and he starts the car. He puts on a Rammstein cd and together we listen to it while he drives me to my room. When he stops in front of my door neither of us say anything or move for a while. 

I break the silence. “Eric would you maybe come in for a bit, I uhm..” and I look down at my hands and feel how my eyes start to fill up with tears.

“You what? Hey look at me, talk to me” he says reaching for my hand to take in his.

Looking at him I feel the tears forming before they caress my cheek. “I thought I’d be strong enough for this but I’m starting to feel so alone, the walls close in on me and I feel like I’m failing everything and everyone.” tears now flowing and Eric has my hand in his two hands closing them over mine, keeping it safe.

“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Not even the limits of time can contain you. Come on, don’t be sad. Of course I’ll go in with you.”

I swallow back some tears as I smile weakly. “Thank you Eric”. 

Nodding he says “of course, anything for you at any time.”

Leaving the car we enter my motel room together and when the door closes behind us neither Eric or me was aware of the shift in time.


	9. Status update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep thanking everybody for the comments because you all have no idea what it means to me <3

_ “What are you doing here? You need to go right now.” Eric says while he starts pushing me towards the end of the school parking lot. “I can’t have you here, you need to be safe.” his eyes frantic as he looks at me.  _

_ “No Eric stop you don’t have to do this” I say holding on to his trench coat. “You can come with me. Nothing has happened yet, we can get the bombs out of there and go. Come on Eric don’t do this, please” I start begging him but he pushes me off of him. _

_ “You don’t understand, I don’t have a choice. I need to do this with Vodka, it’s us against the world but you need to go. Don’t you understand I can’t hurt you!” he starts to use force while he pushes me.  _

_ “But you will hurt me and everybody you love.” and I’m panicking because we’re almost at the edge of the parking lot “the bombs won’t go off” I yell in his face, he frowns but shakes his head. _

_ “Stop you’re lying, they won’t fail you’re just trying to keep me here” he says angrily. _

_ “No I swear on everything I love, the bombs will fail, you will break your nose and you guys will just roam the halls doing nothing for longer than you actually kill. You have to believe me, please Eric I swear” I’m sobbing while I try to hold onto him but it’s no use. He turns around and meets his fate while I stand there nailed to the ground. “Eric stay” I yell at him, he turns to look at me in an odd way “choose me Eric, pick me, please” I beg him.  _

_ My arms start to flail and I feel my upper body moving up and down, I look down at myself and I see my arms hitting around me and I don’t understand. Eric yells “It’s okay, hey”  _

“It’s okay, hey. Come on wake up” I hear Eric say in the far distance and just like that I jerk up straight, panting. I look around me trying to get a grip of reality. Eric sits on his knees beside me and is holding me, terror on his face as he looks at me “Hey it was just a dream” but then I throw myself at him, my arms around his neck, I need to feel that he’s still there, if only he knew it’s not just a dream. Eric pulls me close and whispers in my hair “it’s okay, it’s okay.” and I start to shake my head, sobbs rolling over my lips. 

I squeeze him as tight as I can “you’re here, you’re here” I say in between sobs. His hands caress my back.

“Of course I am, I told you I’d stay” he says not understanding what I mean. I pull back a bit and take his face in my hands, I need to feel he’s really here. Looking at his scared eyes I start to cry, I can’t lose him. 

“You where and I was.” I say and I place my cheek against his, still holding the other side of his head. For a while we just sit still like that. Then I pull away and wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I tell Eric “I fell asleep” and not looking at him I get off the bed. 

“That’s okay, don’t be sorry.” his voice thick like the air in the room “to be honest with you I did too” and he chuckles softly. 

“You did?” I ask smiling at how innocent that sounds, not turning around yet. 

“Yeah, are you okay? You’re smiling so that’s good I guess.” He says and I frown wondering how he knew but then I see the mirror in front of me and I smile again.

“I’m fine.” and I walk over to the bathroom. “I’m gonna go change into my pajamas.” I tell him.

“Sure, of course. My parents think I’m at Dylan’s so I don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want me to.” he says with a raised voice to the bathroom door, I assume he got up because I hear him a lot closer to the door as he speaks. 

After I’ve washed my face and got into my pajamas I looked into the mirror again. My pajamas are just a tanktop and shorts, I’m thinking this is a little too provocative and decide to pull Eric’s sweater over it that happened to be in the bathroom where I left it.

Getting out of the bathroom Eric was sitting on the bed but when he sees me he gets up. “I uhm, I can go if you want me too?” he asks looking at my very short shorts.

“No please stay” I ask him dead afraid he’d leave. I shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, us being so close but now that it did I just want him near me as much as possible. “I want you to” looking at the clock I see it’s already 2:30 in the morning so I decide to go straight back in bed. I settle underneath the covers and look at Eric who walks over to the chair. “Eric you can sleep in the bed if you want” I tell him. Thinking I might be looking for trouble if I do but I just can’t let him sleep on the chair.

“What and let you sleep on the chair I don’t think so” he says firm.

“No, I mean here” and I hit the bed next to me “with me” and my mouth curved into a smile when seeing his face. He looks perplexed, his eyes flicking back and forth between the bed, me and his hands. “Really I don’t mind. I trust you” and he looks up with a beaming face. He takes off his shoes and socks and walks over to the bed. Pulling the covers up insecurely. The bed is big enough for our bodies not to touch if we don’t want that to happen. He sits with his back towards me, he turns around and looks at me laying on my side looking straight back at him his whole posture changes. He doesn’t look too insecure anymore when he lays himself down, on his side with his head popped up on his hand just like me. He looks to be content even and when I pull the cover up to my neck he starts to fumble underneath them.

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m taking off my pants, I can’t sleep in them. Why are you afraid you won’t be able to control yourself if I do?” and he wiggles his eyebrows.

I place my hands in front of my face and start to laugh. 

“Also thanks for pulling up the covers, the stink that comes off you is intense at night” as he’s laughing so hard at his own joke.

“Harris” I shriek making him laugh even more but I take advantage of his distraction. I take my pillow in one hand and slam it onto his arm.

He stops laughing immediately and turns to look at me with excitement in his eyes “did you for real just hit me with a pillow?” he asks stunned.

“You said I stink, of course I really hit you with a pillow” mocking him by stretching the word, really.

“You know what, I’ll be the adult in this moment and not strike you back.” and right after he finishes that sentence I hit him again.

“Ok mister adult sir” I say and he turns to look at me and I strike him again, softly against his head. 

“Stop that right now woman.” he says with his finger in the air trying to look intimidating. Making me laugh so hard.

“Ok fine, who knew the granma had more pit in her then a young vital man” and I see he’s struggling to not respond, biting his lips even to make sure.

“Okay, okay I see how this is. You know what all I’m gonna take from what you said is that you see me as a vital man” and he looks at me with the biggest smirk. 

“Casually leaving out that there’s more pit in me” I say ready to pull my pillow back for the next blow.

“Yes” is all he says but then he quickly grabs my pillow.

“Hey” I say eyes wide “give that back”

He pretends to think it over “hmm no, I don’t think I’m gonna do that” 

“Give me back my pillow or else” I threaten him.

He starts to laugh “or else what, you’re soft like a kitten”

Him calling me a kitten does all sorts of things to my heart but I say “You’re forgetting that kittens have sharp claws and you’re not wearing pants” I say jokingly, throwing myself on my pillow that he holds “give that back Harris or the covers will disappear”

Laughing so hard he’s struggling to get the words out “woman you do not touch these covers or so help me” and he starts to take my hands off the covers that I was starting to lift up. He starts to push me back while he holds my hand and I let my toe touch his upper leg. Now he lets out a small shriek making me laugh so hard I roll over.

“Alright I give up, keep the pillow” I say laughing so hard my jaw is hurting. Eric’s face is beet red and I can’t stop roaring with laughter. 

“Oh you think that’s funny huh” he says while taking the pillow and raising it up alarmingly high. 

“Noooo please Eric don’t” and I hold up my hands to cover my face.

He pretends to smack me with it but all he does is roll over to me and when he’s close he says “boo” smiling like an idiot. He’s right there near me. His eyes sparkling with joy as he sweetly orders “raise your head up” I look at him and again my body just lights up at how close he is, yesterday evening I didn't know if I could handle it well if he came this close again and now here we are. In bed together, hardly any clothes on and I think I might actually lose my mind. Struggling with all this in my mind he’s gently placing the pillow back under my head, making my heart shoot out fireworks through my bloodstream and when my forehead gets close to his mouth he places a warm and almost loving kiss on it making me go weak instantly. “I’m glad you’re happy again” he says in a raspy tone before smiling at me and turning back to his side so we’re both able to breathe properly again. 

I smile at him and get comfortable on my pillow. “Thank you” I say.

“For what?”

“For always making me happy like you just did.” 

Eric looks at me and turns on his back, his hands behind his head “don’t say that” he says seriously.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m also the reason for your tears” 

“Okay Debbie Downer, first off all don’t turn it grim again because we’re both tired and second off all that’s not how you receive a compliment. Dumbass” I say waiting for his reaction with one brow raised. When he turns to me I’m so glad his mouth is turned into a smile.

After a short silence Eric says “Debbie Downer….Jesus.” he starts chuckling “Well fine, thank you and you’re welcome. That better?”

Leaning into my pillow with the covers pulled up high I feel myself drifting off “hmm yes” I manage to softly say before being pulled in a deep sleep. 

Besides me someone begins to stir, peeking from under my eyelids I see Eric is waking up, close next to me and when his eyes open and he turns to me I decide to close my eyes and wait before I let him know I’m awake. Very cliché I think to myself but I can’t help it. 

I feel him facing me because when he exhales the air from his nose hits my hand that sticks out right next to him. 

“hey” a very soft voice says “are you awake?” he asks getting next to me a little closer. I do not respond, this opportunity to see what he would do is too precious.

I’m so glad I did because he immediately holds my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine. A deep sigh follows. 

“How are you even real?” he whispers in the softest of tones “a week ago all I could think about was NBK but now” and he stops. “For almost a year I thought the only way for my life to go was to blow the shit out of that school. Kill them all. Then you came.” and then he places a soft kiss on my fingertips. “And you’re the sweetest angel. Maybe there is more. That goddamn song Ghost, I cannot get that out of my head” 

I nearly choke up,  _ he heard the song _ .

“I can’t fail Dylan. We made a pact.” he comes to lay even closer to me, those words tear my heart apart but then he says “sometimes I feel like this connection is” and he hesitates “is love. Between us.” he scoffs hearing what he just said “Who the fuck am I kidding, I know I could never be good enough for you. You’re fucking perfect and I am far from it.” 

His words rip me apart and I wish I could just open my eyes and shake him real good, make him listen but I know it doesn’t work that way. Besides me Eric gets tense, I imagine because of his own words. God this guy is his own worst enemy.

And I can’t take it anymore so I begin to gently move and stretch a bit.

“Shit” he whispers as he let go of my hand quickly and moves back.

I open my eyes to see his closed and somehow that feels comical but I’m not giving this movie moment up. 

“Eric” I say shaking him gently “are you awake?” Cheeky bastard doesn’t move an inch. He lays on his side. I move the covers up, not to high but high enough so I can slip next to him. My bare legs touching his. I swear I can almost see his heart jump out. I crawl up next to him with my head on his small upper arm. My arm over his side to his back where I place my hand. “Eric are you awake?” I ask again. Not a single sound. I decide that if I think he’s not listening I have more room to say things I normally wouldn’t. So I go for it. 

“Eric” I whisper “I hate that you think you’re the reason for my tears.” I tell him. “The only reason I cry is because I’m afraid to lose you, lose you to this plan you created. If I could make you stay I would, I’d do anything! I promise you” and I place my nose and mouth against his chest. His face so close to mine, just beside his lips I place a small kiss. My heart is pounding in my chest as I look at his face so close, the moles on his face are like a path to follow. After staying like that for a bit I move back to take us both out of this warm place in time to get the day started and see what it brings.

Back on my side of the bed I say “Eric, wake up. Wakey wakey.” and I laugh while I poke him, he reacts slowly. Man can he act, but I knew that already. “Eric” and I shake him.

“What what?” he says in a raspy and tired voice. 

“It’s time to wake up.” I say before getting out of bed. 

“Well what if I don’t want to?” Eric asks a grin on his face.

“Then I’m pulling the covers off of you” I get out of bed and start to get my things so I can take a shower.

“Aaand I’m up” he says sitting up immediately. 

“Good” I say grinning “just gonna take a shower I’ll be right back”

“Take your time you need it” he says smiling. 

But the air is real thick and we’re both nervous, knowing what’s been said to each other. I know my mind is racing, his must be too.

“Well well the jokester is up” I say grinning to lighten the mood while closing the door behind me. Once the door is closed I lean back against it immediately. My knees weak from everything that just happened, his words, his touch. It’s all too much and I still have no idea if he’s even open to walking away from his plans. He made a pact with Dylan. Will he break it, is he able to? Needing to shake it off I step under the shower, quick soapy rinse before I dry myself off and get dressed in my skinny jeans and the pink top from the night we went bowling. My hair still wet as I exit the bathroom. Eric had put on his pants. “Do you have another towel?” he asks smiling at me.

“Sure, they’re in the cabinet in the bathroom.” I tell him. 

He walks closer and says “thanks, you know this was the first time I slept next to someone” he admits

“I know” I tell him teasingly.

“Well fuck me of course you know” and he looks a bit annoyed.

“Watch it, that might become tempting” and I wink at him playfully.  _ What is wrong with me _ my inner voice yells at me.

He’s stumped and his jaw is slightly open but he regains his posture at the speed of lightning when he walks to the bathroom door he says “If that’s the case, feel free to join me” and there’s more then only joy and jokes in his eyes. 

“Eric what would you need a granny in there for” making him roll his eyes before he leaves into the bathroom. 

About 5 minutes into Eric’s shower there’s a knock on the door. Wondering who the hell that could be I look at the door, another knock. I go to open the door and there is a man. One I’ve never met before but he’s wearing the Black oval sign with three gold dots in them on his suit. He’s from the agency. Time travel has been around since late 1800’s and everywhere in the world are people from the agency that I work for. We recognise them by the black oval sign on their chest with three gold dots, the dots represent the three creators of time travelling. 

“Y/n Hunter?” the man asks in a firm voice.

I close the door a bit behind me and step out “Yes that’s me, who wants to know?”

“Jack Le Temps, he has a message for you. Can we step in?” The man’s mouth is shut tight like a thin line after he says what he needs to. 

“NO” I say a little too loud. “Excuse my rudeness but no, I have someone here” I say hoping he understood. 

“You’re not allowed to talk or come in contact with complete strangers while on the mission more than necessary, you’re aware of this rule?” He says not a single hint of expression on his face.

“It’s not a stranger.” and I’m not sure what to say to make him back down so I tell him “my mission is in there, Eric. He’s here”

The big man takes a step back. “I see. The message isn’t too long. I can tell you right here and you can sign the papers for me to take back and keep a copy.” He takes a piece of paper out of his suitcase and a pen. 

Nervously I look back at the door. The man has the paper and reads what it says, they have to, because they need to know for sure that the message got through.

“Y/n, you’re doing a fine job with this kid. There’s already slight shifting in a better direction. You keep doing what you must, no matter how it makes you feel like we discussed. Remember your training, he’s a job to do above anything else especially above your connection . Lives depend on it. Keep up the good work but know that we see you’re breaking rules. There might be repercussions but it seems to be working, for now. Time is of the essence. Keep up the good work. Status update will follow soon again. - Jack Le Temps” 

“Is that clear?” the man asks.

“Crystal” I say hoping it will make the man go away. “Will you be coming for the next update?” I ask quickly.

“Not sure but you know how to recognise us.” and he hands me the paper on his suitcase to sign. Then he hands me a copy after I signed and turns around not even looking back. 

Looking at the paper I realize just now what he said. There was positive change...Eric was open to me. I stood a chance. Trying really hard to calm myself down I walk towards the door hoping Eric was still in the shower. I go back into the room and see Eric’s not there. When I close the door I see him standing behind the door, giving me a scare.

“Oh jesus Eric I didn't see you” and I walk into the room and fold the paper. 

“Who was that?” Eric asks but before I can answer he continues in one breath “was that another guy from the future? Why was he here? I heard some things, about a job and doing what you must.. What did he mean and also when he said that you broke rules, which rules? And I swear I heard repercussions, are you in trouble? Am I, did you talk to anyone? And who is Jack lestamp?” 

he’s pacing and he looks worried and clueless as to what that all was but I don’t care, slight shifting is all that I can think about. I’m not failing so far.

“Eric I’ll answer as best as I can okay. I promise and I’ve never broken a promise before.” we’re both thinking about what I said this morning because he looks at me as I say so and a smile slips out. 

“Alright” he says still standing his hands now in his sides.

“The man you saw, is not from the future. He works here in Denver for the agency I was send from. Jack Le Temps is a leader in the agency he was the one that I told you about, he overseas everything regarding my trip back in time. He came here to give me a message from Jack, a status update so to speak.” he seems to take that all in rather well. He’s nervous but so am I . Calmly I continue to answer his questions “what he meant about the job and doing what I must, all I can say is that me being here in their eyes is considered a job, so he told me to focus as it where. I’ve broken some rules but I’m not sure you want to know about them. The repercussions are for me if there will be any at all, not for you. And no I did not talk to anyone so neither you or me are in trouble.”

He licks his lips and thinks for a bit while I pour us a glass of water. 

“Here” I say as I hand him his drink.

“Thanks” he says.

I smile “let's pretend it’s tequila, bottoms up” 

He takes a small sip from his glass and says “thank you for explaining. I’m a little unsure what to say or think, I’m a job?” he asks with a huge question mark on his face.

“Well in a way yes but between you and me. I didn't come here for the bigger picture to be honest. My reasons have been selfish from the get go, no matter how hard I pretended it wasn’t. On some level I think the agency knows but to them it’s all about results.” taking another sip I really did want this water to be alcohol even though it’s still breakfast time.

“How the fuck can they see results?” he says putting the glass down behind me on the desk. 

“I seriously have no idea, I was never involved in that part of the logistics so to speak. The only thing I know is that everything that happens, that we do. It leaves marks in time. Apparently they have ways to find out how.” and just like me he’s now leaned against the desk. 

“I do want to know what rules you broke if you can tell me that is” and he looks at me with gentle eyes. I can tell he’s relieved I can explain so much.

“Well for example us touching more than a handshake.” I say smiling shyly. 

“Oh yeah that rule is very broken” and he lets out a short chuckle “is that what you can get repercussions for? And what are they, like time traveler jail?” his nose crinkles while he asks me. 

“Time travel is very much on the downlow. I only know of it because of certain connections. So no jail specifically for us. The repercussions can vary I’m not sure what they would be for touching. Maybe a travel ban for a while or no I don’t know I’m speculating only now” and I take another sip looking at him.

“Well damn imagine if you’d taken that shower with me, you’d be lined against a wall and shot” he says grimly.

“Okay don’t get me wrong but jesus christ Eric, not every punishment has to involve guns” and I laugh, he looks at me and that lopsided smirk makes an appearance.

“Fair enough” he says. Any other rules you broke?” he asks

I feel it’s better not to tell him about any other rules “I don’t think I should tell you” and I give him a look that said I’m-sorry.

“Yeah right okay. You should really know that I appreciate everything you’re explaining to me.” it looks like he wants to say more but he doesn’t. 

“You’re welcome” 

“Wait, you said something about that invention that lead you to come here for me..do you think maybe you can elaborate on that?” and when he sees my face he adds “please”

“I think maybe I can tell you but not right now because that would be a big rule to break and I’m not sure we’re there yet.” I say a bit more cryptically. Eric looks at me with a strange look and I wonder if he’s thinking about everything we said to each other this morning like I am. 

“A penny for your thoughts” I say smiling, he smiles back.

“I’ll be honest with you and tell you that I’m a bit scared to share this thought with you.” he tells me while he looks at my face and hair.

I’m torn between telling him he can tell me everything and leaving him be. After what feels forever I settle on a meet in the middle answer.

“Well why don’t we get breakfast and if you’re still scared to tell me after we had breakfast I’ll keep my penny” scanning his face while he thinks about what I just said.

He starts to nod and says “deal, only if I tell you it’s a dollar at least you scrooge” I close my eyes shaking my head.

“You’re really something Harris, let me get my things and we can go, I’m starving” I walk over to get my hairbrush and want to put my hair in high ponytail.

“You should do that braid thing you did I wanna see how you do it.” Eric says coat in his hands.

“No I’m hungry and that takes time” I say putting it all up.

“Another time then” he states as if it’s already set in stone.

“Another time, how about somewhere in June?” I say emphasizing June.

“That’s not cool” he says emotionless.

“I’m sorry.” I say looking at him with my hair up now. Eric is standing next to my bag and when I walk over to get it he places his hand on my arm.

“It’s okay” he says “you don’t have to apologize” and he caresses my arm while looking in my eyes. I hate it when he does that. It makes me feel so deficient and weak for what it does to me. I hope he never stops. 

While I put on my jacket Eric softly hits my arm “now what was that good for?” I ask him.

“Wait did you say you have connections in the time travel world?” he asks looking at me like well-tell-me.

“Yes I do, did you really think time travel was a well known fact? The only people who know about confirmed time travel are the ones that go through time and the people like you, that receive a traveller as it were” placing my bag over my head I pull Eric’s arm whose jaw is on the floor. “Come on I’m hungry” I say while I drag him out of the room and into the sunlight.

“You have got to tell me about that sometime, I want to know more” and he’s still flabbergasted.

“Maybe I’ll tell you one day” I say while we stand next to his car.

“Yeah let me guess in June?” 

“Perhaps” I say enjoying the fact that he can make this joke. I don’t want to think anything off it but I do of course. “Hey can I drive?”

His brows shoot up “in my car?” and he sees me nodding yes “absolutely not.” and he opens the passenger seat door for me.

“Oh come on” I say with a pout.

“Don’t do this again, that face doesn’t work on me okay, you’re not driving my car” he says smiling while he tries to look annoyed.

I walk over to him and place my hands on his shoulders pouting my best pout “pretty please, I’ll do my best puppy eyes for you” and while I try I know I must look ridiculous but he smiles and looks away. 

“Stop” he says not looking at me but I turn his head with my index finger pressed against his nose. He starts to laugh while he looks at me. “Get in the car before I put you in the backseat, puppy”

Sulky I get in and he does too. We listen to KMFDM while he drives. 

I can’t stop thinking about that positive shift that Jack mentioned. I keep thinking what it might be, why it’s happening and what’s causing the change. While I’m in the middle of trying to figure this out in my head Eric jerks me back out of my thoughts.

“You just said that I received you as it were, right?”

“Lacking a better way to describe it yes, why?” I ask looking at him, his eyes out on the road.

A small smirk appears on his face “does that mean you’re mine, since I received you” 

Looking at him I see his smirk saying just kidding but his eyes are really asking.

“Eric” 

“Yeah” 

“Kiss my ass.” I start to laugh and he joins me.

He takes me to a place that serves croissants and other quick breakfast bites. We order ourselves some things to take with us so we can eat outside somewhere. This time I’m one step ahead of Eric and give the cassiere a 20 dollar bill. Eric looks at me with a sour face and once we’re back in the car he says “don’t pay for things, it’s not necessary” and he starts the car and drives us to Clement Park. Together we walk over to a nice park bench. We settle there with our food and once that’s all out on the table we dig in.

“God I’m starving” Eric says while taking a big bite out of his muffin. All I do is nod because my mouth is full. After our food is all gone which isn’t too long we pick up everything and throw it in the trash and walk over to a hot beverage stand. Eric gets a hot chocolate and I have a cappuccino. Back at our spot we sit down and there’s far too little space between us even though our bodies do not touch. 

“So we had breakfast, how about a dollar for that thought?” I say enjoying my coffee.

Eric looks down at his hands a smile on his face then he looks up again “yeah I’ve thought about it and I’m not sure now is the time to ask” 

I smile back at him as he looks at me and say “that’s okay, if you ever want to tell me you know where to find me” I take off the lid of my cup and take a big sip. I feel the sides of my mouth being wet with cream and I wipe it off. 

“I think you should head home, your parents might wonder where you are” when Eric turns to look at me he starts to laugh.

“What?” curious to why he’s laughing. 

“Oh man this is such movie bullshit” Eric says smiling while he points at my face “you have a little” and points at my face.

Quickly I wipe my hand over my mouth looking at my hand there’s nothing. “What there’s nothing here” I say. 

He starts to laugh and says “no you missed it” and he comes to sit closer but a little too enthusiastic. Now his leg is all against mine and his face once again within the reach of my lips. Eric looks at me and his hand goes up, gently he places it on my cheek and with his thumb he wipes off a tiny bit of cream off my upper lip. His finger lingering on my lips, brushing over them before he shows me the tiny white stripe on his finger. His voice wavering as he says “see just a little”. My eyes go from his thumb right back to his face, his lips are slightly parted and I feel mine are too. Nothing in this moment can stop us from giving in to what we’ve been fighting, our hearts so connected, there’s no stopping it now. I’m not sure who moves in first but with the force of great desire our lips finally meet. His arm reaches around my waist and his hand pulls me against him. My hand shoots up to his cheek and I pull him as close against my lips as I can, our lips parted from the start, Eric lets his tongue push past my lips to find mine waiting for him. His upper lip between mine. My tongue running over his lip into his sweet mouth where the taste of chocolate awaits me. Soft and wanting our tongues dance and twirl for what feels like an eternity. My whole body reacts to this moment as I’m sure his does too. His hand squeezes me tight and his lips are memorizing mine so he’ll never forget them. Just like it started I’m not sure who pulled away first. 

I feel my breath hanging in my throat hugging my heart rate. Eric has his forehead pressed against mine with a heavy voice and swollen lips he says “I’m so sorry” I rub my nose against his forcing myself with everything I have to say.

“No it’s my fault, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t” but he cuts me off.

“No no I am, don’t apologize please” and he finally pulls away and it hurts, oh how it hurts. I don’t want him to move or this moment to end. “I got carried away in that movie moment” a shaky chuckle comes out.

“Yeah let's blame that movie moment so the blame isn’t yours, don’t say it is. I ” but I can’t say that I shouldn’t have done it because that’s a lie, everything in me wanted this to happen. Eric has moved away from me unwilling he takes his arm from around me.

He scrapes his throat “well that wasn’t as disgusting as I thought it would be” he says his eyes still avoiding mine.

Instead of picking up what he’s doing I blurt out “you’ve thought about this?” now his eyes find mine and they sparkle but averts them just as quickly.

“Woman can’t you see I’m trying to lighten this thing here?” he says laughing the nervousness dripping from his words.

I start to laugh and say “yeah no I’m an idiot” and I shrug.

“You can say that again” and he laughs but then he gasps “oh no, shit” 

And I look at him “what?” 

“The firing squad awaits you now back home” he says smiling.

“Oh jesus” and I hit his arm making him pretend it hurts “I thought something was really wrong” and I chuckle. When I take a better look at Eric I see he’s sitting a bit awkward with his leg all high over his knee. I know exactly what that means biting my bottom lip I say “here give me your cup, I’ll throw them away and then we can go” giving him time to adjust while I’m on the other side of this path. 

“Yeah that’s good, thanks” I hear relief in his voice. 

After I throw away the empty cups I try to think of where this day is going. It’s Sunday. 

Walking back to his car we’re walking side by side, not looking at each other and it feels so awkward. I wouldn’t have changed the kiss for anything in the world but this is a unfortunate side effect.

Wanting to break the silence we start talking at the same time, making us look at each other, four red cheeks. 

“You start” I tell him but he shakes his head.

“No no ladies first” and he smiles but to the far distance not really to me.

“I just.” but I change my mind I’m not talking about the kiss right away “What are your plans for this Sunday?” still walking next to him not looking at him.

“Uhm I’m meeting Dylan in a couple of hours but other than that, nothing.” and he looks up briefly smiling a very forced smile.

Since he didn't invite me out of his own I really don’t want to know what they’re going to do. 

“Okay well I’ll probably hit the mall or something later.” it’s so uncomfortable between us and that annoys me. I’m trying to think of ways to break that.

“Yeah sounds good, wanna meet up later?” he asks timidly, very unlike him.

I’ve had enough time to break through this polite barrier. “Definitely and I think we should have sex then.” 

Eric’s face turns completely pale “you have got to be kidding me?” he says while his eyes search for the answer in my face.

“Well yes but your face was priceless” I say with a grin on my face.

“What is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?” but he’s laughing.

“Aaaahaa! You’re laughing” I say pointing at his face.

“You really have gone mad, you crazy time traveler” he’s laughing and sounds a lot more like normal. 

“Yeah well it was awkward just now and you were polite and shit. It was annoying and I wanted it away” and I wave my hands like go-go away. 

“Got it, mental note made. Never be polite to her” and he nods a single time.

“Yuck never please” I smile and walk towards him. Closer next to him I say “if you’re heading out with Dylan do you pick him up or the other way around?” 

“Yeah I’m picking Dylan up why?” he asks.

“Well because if that was the case I wanted to ask if you could drop me off at the mall before you pick him up?” fluttering my eyelashes at him.

“Yeah of course. No problem.” he says smiling 

“Thank you Eric” and I nudge his shoulder with mine. What he does next makes me wonder if maybe instead of becoming awkward after the kiss we’re going in the opposite direction and become even closer. Eric swings his arm around my shoulder.

“Anything for you, you know that” big smile on his face.


	10. Fun Sundays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments seriously make me beyond happy <3 keep them coming, please! Hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

After Eric dropped me off I let myself fall back onto my bed. Getting comfortable on my pillow I grab the one he slept on last night and hold it tight, hoping to catch his scent only to realise I don’t need the pillow because his scent is etched in my brain. I try to think about the night and this morning but the only thing I can think about is the kiss. That damn kiss. Letting out a long sigh while I remember how his hand held me so tight against him. I couldn’t breath throughout the entire kiss. No matter how much I think about it I couldn't figure out who gave in to the desire first. We both sorta gave in at the same time I think. However I was very aware of the fact that Eric was the one to take it to the next level. Uncoordinated and eager he broke free in the kiss. Giving it all he had in that moment. My eyes closed and my mouth open like just before the kiss I lay there thinking about how I can still feel his lips touching mine, the softness of them and the taste of him wanting me. I’ve wanted a guy before but it was never this intense. The second I felt his tongue against mine I thought I’d lose my sanity. Good thing we were both holding a cup and that we were ouside otherwise it would have been too easy to give in even more. 

My mind keeps going back and forth between the kiss and the night. Everything said in the morning, by him to me especially and the kiss on my forehead but then I remember the massage and I jerk back up and drop the pillow. The paper with the message from Jack.

I get up to get the paper and when I see it on my desk nicely folded my hands start to get unsteady as I open it. I read it about 10 times before I’m able to put it down. 

“Slight shift” I say out loud. Wondering what that means I start to write in my notebook. I write down everything that comes to mind regarding the message Jack send me. After about 30 minutes of writing I hear a knock on the door. Knowing it’s Eric I jolt up to open the door for him.

Once I open the door I couldn’t have been more surprised. In front of me stands not just Eric but also Dylan.

“Hey, Dylan how are you?” and I frown at Eric “didn't expect to see you here.” I say.

“Hey yeah turned out it was easier for him to pick me up since he wasn’t home so” Eric says 

“I’m good thanks, you?” Dylan says he asks with a little smile on his face.

“Yeah I couldn’t be better.” as I say that Eric gets the biggest smile on his face. “Let me get ready so we can go.” and I turn back to put on my shoes and jacket. “All done let me grab my bag and we can go”.

I follow them to Dylan’s car and I can’t stop myself from saying “Dylan your car is so awesome” and I chuckle.

“Thanks” he says simply and opens the passenger seat door and pulls the chair to the front so I can get in the back. 

“You’re welcome and thanks” I say getting in there, very much aware that both of them are standing right behind me as I bend over to get in. Eric pushes the seat back and sits down next to his friend. Dylan puts on the radio and we don’t talk during the ride, only when we get there does Eric turn the volume down. 

“So we need approximately an hour I think. Wanna meet us here again then?” Eric asks in a different tone of voice then I’m used to.

“Yeah sure, I really appreciate the ride.” I tell them.

“No problem” Dylan says looking at me in the rearview mirror and he smiles “oh uhm I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty to ask if Robyn could meet us here at the same time so we can go chill for a bit.” and he looks at me and Eric.

“Cool with me” Eric says.

“Sounds fun, I like Robyn” but I can’t help thinking he did so because that way nothing he doesn’t want to hear can come up. We’re almost there and when Dylan parked the car Eric gets out and opens the chair for me. I get one leg out and as I step out without asking Eric takes my hand to help me out. Pulling me out even. “Thanks” I say smiling at him and he just smiles back and closes the car door.

“Alright see you guys in an hour” and I wave at them before I start walking. Eric only says “bye” and Dylan just waves back.

That was weird to say the least I think while getting in the mall. First I want to get some coffee. I walk over to place I had a good cup the other day and order a cappuccino to go. When I receive my drink the lid isn’t on yet and I see the foam making me smile while I think back at the last cappuccino I had. Walking around the mall I notice hot topics, a place where Eric goes too. I’m thinking I might have a peak when suddenly someone from behind me places their hands over my eyes. Surprised I wonder who this could be, I mean Eric wasn’t here right?

“Who am I?” a high pitched voice says.

“I’m hoping you’re Eric” I say but I don’t think it is. 

“Wrong guess again” and the person is doing voices.

“Uhm I don’t know, Dylan?” I ask knowing this is even more unlikely.

“A hint, I’m the hottest guy you know” and that’s when it hits me.

“Oh my lord, no you’re not the hottest guy I know Mike” and he pulls back his hands.

“If you’ll say Eric is I’m gonna puke” and he walks around me with a big grin. If only he knew.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Mike asks.

“Just a little shopping, you?” I ask while taking a sip.

“I was just stalking you” he says winking at me. “Can I join you?” he asks and I’m a little apprehensive because of what that man from the agency told me this morning. 

“Really you have to think about it for that long?” he says laughing nervously. 

“No sorry I was caught up in my thoughts, uhm sure you can join me. I’m meeting Eric and Dylan in an hour oh and Robyn.” 

“Good, I’ll join you guys, just a second. I’ll be right back.” and Mike walks off to talk to a guy. I see them talking and looking at me, the other guy gets a big smirk on his face.

“Oh my lord” I say wondering what Mike is saying to him. Then he comes to join me. 

“Alright where do you want to go? Wanna grab lunch?” he asks casually. He has no idea how weird this is for me. 

“Yeah I could eat.” I tell him and he extends his arm for me to take. “Mike” I say judging.

“No I mean nothing by it honestly, just take it” he says. And rolling my eyes I put my arm through his. “So what would you like for lunch?” he asks confident.

“I’m good with anything really, I could go for some sushi” and Mike turns to look at me with a disgusted face.

“Are you kidding all that raw half alive fish crap?” he asks making me laugh. “Doesn’t matter actually they don’t have that here” and he starts to make puking noises.

“Stop that” I tell him “bring me to your favorite place then” I tell him. 

“Now I like the sound of that” and he smiles “so how are you liking it here so far?” he asks curious while we make our way to what I would find out is his favorite sandwich place. 

“It’s all good, some guys are very pushy and annoying though” and I flash him an evil grin.

Mike witty as he is says “yeah I know Eric can be so annoying really” earning him a laugh from me.

“You and I both know I didn't mean him.” and we just start to shoot the shit. Mike is actually a pretty nice guy if you can forget half of his personality. 

When we almost get to the place he says “Alright you need to pretend to be my date” and my brows rise up till somewhere in my hairline. “No I’m serious, you get 15% discount on dates” he says all excited.

“Are you serious?” I ask him.

“As a heart attack. If they ask we’re on our fifth date and you can’t get enough of me wanting to touch me as much as you can.” he wiggles his eyebrows and I cross my arms.

“We’re on our fifth date fine but unfortunately for you I plan on staying untouched until I’m married” I say amused.

“Please tell me that’s a joke” and he gets all worried. Making me laugh. Walking over to the joint he places his arm around me.

“You’re kidding” I tell him. He shushses me and tells me to “play along”. Rolling my eyes at him voraciously I play along.

We get a table and I look at the menu it’s all sandwiches nothing else so I go with a tuna one. Mike gets pulled beef. As we wait for our order we just talk about a lot of things, Mike’s really interested and actually a decent listener. 

“So tell me do you have brothers and sisters?” he asks having no idea how that question ripped through me. Since I do not know how all this will end I go with what I planned. 

“I don’t really like to talk about them sorry” I tell him and when the waiter comes with our food I’m glad to have that distraction.

“Thanks.” Mike says and he hands me my sandwich “here you go beautiful.” making me sigh softly. He turns to look at the waiter and says “can you believe this is our fifth date, I know I can’t.” and he winks at me after he says so. The waiter looks at Mike and then at me.

“No not really actually, she’s way out of your league dude” and just like that he walks off. Completely offended Mike grabs his knife and pretends to stab himself in the heart and I have my hands in front of my face trying not to burst out laughing. Finally calming down the waiter comes back with our drinks and a napkin for me. The waiter even winks at me while he walks away leaving both me and Mike shook off our asses.

Mike quickly grabs the napkin and says with a loud voice “oh hell no” and he turns it around so I can see:

You can do so much better, like me. - Jeremy

Followed by a phone number. This time I have to let out a roar of laughter. Mike looks so offended. When I’m finally calmed again I say “what an asshole he thinks we’re here on a date and does this, give me the napkin I have a plan for later” I say to Mike whose eyes are popping out of his skull he’s so curious. After that we just eat our lunch and Mike refuses to let me pay for anything, tells me to wait outside. I do so and then I look at the time, almost an hour went by. I have to say I had fun with him. 

“Alright that’s all done” Mike says.

“Good cause it’s time to meet the others” and with that said we walk back to the parking lot to wait for the others. After almost 5 minutes Dylan’s car comes our way with Eric and Robyn in it too. Eric’s eyes become very small when he sees me standing there with Mike. They get out of the car and Robyn comes to greet me with a small hug. Eric however greets Mike less friendly “what are you doing here?” and he looks at me in wonder.

“I stalked your girlfriend until she had lunch with me” he says so happy with himself. I hit Mike on the arm and shake my head at Eric.

“She’s not his girlfriend” Dylan says surprising everyone with the harshness in his voice. “I mean you know, just so you know”

“A little jealous are you?” Mike teases him. Dylan only scoffs.

“Well we’re all here now what are we gonna go do?” Robyn asks looking at all of us. “Did everyone eat?” 

I start to laugh immediately “Oh we did.” and Mike tries to nudge me so I won’t say.

“Dude this is too funny” I say looking at the curious faces of the rest “Mike took me to that sandwich place where you get a discount when you’re on a date” Eric looks confused.

“What place does that?” he asks Mike who looks at me with red cheeks.

“The one at the other side of the mall” I say.

Dylan starts to laugh “they don’t give discounts for dates” and the smile falls off my face and on the floor.

“Oh you are such an asshole” I tell Mike who’s biting his lips trying not to laugh and everyone else is laughing, Eric however is less amused “you made me pretend we’re on a date just so people thought I was your date? You son of a bitch. Can’t believe I fell for that” I say but I’m laughing now as well. “Guess that came back to bite you in the ass” and Mike’s eyes turn really big. “Oh yeah I’m telling them” and I walk back a bit pulling the napkin out of my pocket. 

When I tell the rest what happened when Mike asked the waiter if he could believe it they almost fell to the floor laughing. When I tell them about the napkin with the message, they are less amused.

“That’s a rude thing to do” Robyn says and Dylan adds “so fucked up.

“Ah yes but here’s the genius off it. It’s a home number.” a devilish smile appears on my face. “Anybody have a cell phone?” I ask hoping Mike brought his.

“Yes I do. What are you gonna do?” Mike asks as he hands me the phone. 

“I'm going to show precious Jeremy what happens when you mess with people around me” and I dial the number and when there’s an answer I raise my hand up. Everybody looking at me in amazement.

“Hello ma’am, are you Jeremy’s mother?” and Robyn’s jaw is on the floor, Eric’s eyes big beyond belief.

“Oh good, I’m so sorry to bother you, my name is..” and I looked at Eric while thinking of one “Erica” and I silently I mouth sorry to Eric. Everybody is on edge while they listen. “You don’t know me but your son gave me his number. Yes I’m aware he’s at work but I wanted to tell you something because I’m extremely upset” and I pretend to sniffle. “I was on a date with a boy that I really really like” making puke motions as I say so, Mike rolls his eyes “and your son blatantly embarrassed my date by saying how I am supposedly way out of my dates league and he gave me his phone number.” I pretend to start crying, the mother on the phone already getting furious with her son “and now Mike never wants to see me again” I say still fake crying “he was so embarrassed and told me to find someone handsome like Jeremy” everyone is silently clapping. Dylan and Robyn don’t even know how to stop laughing and Eric, well Eric just looks very impressed.

“Thank you ma’am I really appreciate that. Yes I too hope that Mike comes around and realises Jeremy shouldn’t have said what he did. Thank you, no no I believe you when you say he won’t get away with this” I say repeating her sentences for the others to hear. 

Hanging up with one pissed mother I bow down to my roaring crowd and say “and that’s how we deal with asshole bullies, we get them in trouble with their moms” 

“You’re unbelievable and yes yes I want you back I was an ass, let me make it up to you with my tongue” and Mike comes at me making clown like kissing movements. 

“You stop that fool, that’s exactly why this motherfucker thought she was out of your league” Eric says making me laugh so hard. Knowing Dylan is around I can’t get too close to Eric seeing as how Eric keeps the distance himself ever since we met with Dylan present.

“I can’t believe how badass you are.” Robyn says coming at me with a high five ready. I’m shocked to see Dylan following in her footsteps coming to get a high five as well. 

“High fives all around” Mike yells while he comes at me to high five me and pull me in for a hug “oooh looks like the hugs where free too” I hit him in the side.

“You funny one.” and Mike makes place for Eric to follow with a raised hand. I give him a high five but he takes my hand in his for a second before he lets go. Smiling at me.

“You know, people who stick up for those around them like you just did are pretty cool people” Dylan says followed by “my parents are out lets go to my place”. We follow him and my heart sinks in my chest thinking about going to his house. I think Eric notices cause he tilts his head when he looks at me. Robyn came with her car so I tell the guys I’m riding with her. 

“Yep me too, gotta protect the ladies” Miks says pretending to put on shades. 

“Absolutely not.” Robyn says leaving Mike with a sad face to follow the boys. 

In the car the mood is relaxed and frankly now realize how much I miss moments without tension. The last week has been so incredible hard on my nerves.

“Okay I can’t beat around the bush anymore” Robyn says making me look at her.

“Speak up, tell me” I say resting my head back.

“Are you and Eric dating or together or something?” and she looks at me when she hears me coughing my lungs out. “Are you okay?” she asks worriedly. 

“I’m fine” I say clawing for breath “saliva choke” and then she starts to laugh. Once I’ve regained my breath and posture Robyn starts talking again.

“I’m so sorry” she says and I wave like it’s fine “it’s just you two seem so close and he’s so very different around you. I mean I don’t really know him that well but what I do know is what I just said.” she looks at me and frowns “ok that was a weird sentence” 

“It’s okay I understand weird, I’m fluent in it.” but it’s really hard to answer her because if I tell her no there’s nothing between us and it lands back with Eric he’s gonna be hurt, feeling rejected for sure. On the other hand if I tell her yes something kinda is between us and it lands with Dylan, I’m also screwed. So I’m hoping I can get away with this.

“Uhm I’m not very good talking about myself. I love talking but about personal things not so much.” and I look at her seeing she’s a bit disappointed. “I’m sorry it’s nothing personal I promise” and I smile at her.

“No don’t worry I’m sorry if I was too blunt though” and she smiles sweetly. 

“No please, always be blunt. It’s just the personal part” and I see the road leading up which tells me we’re almost there. When we come closer to the house I can’t help but sigh “wow is that like a baby castle or something?” making Robyn chuckle.

The boys are already inside when we follow. Robyn knocks on the door and Dylan comes to open it. Smiling as he lets us in.

“Ladies” he says as does. 

My eyes try to soak in every little detail of the house as we walk in. Getting to the living room Mike and Eric are waiting for us. There was already popcorn on the table and drinks for everyone. 

“Do you drive at the speed of lightning Klebold?” I say looking at the picture before me in the living room. 

“He does” Eric says “he’s even worse then me”

“Wow Dylan. Worse than Eric?” and I look at him with a question mark on my face. 

Dylan just shrugs and says “lets go over there” Robyn and I walk in front of him and when we get there Mike dramatically makes room for me next to him which gives me the perfect opening to go walk over to Eric. 

“Listen I have feelings you know” Mike says.

“Really?” Eric and I say in union, we look at each other and finally since the moment they picked me up at the motel there’s some proper eye contact with the matching smiles. 

For a while we just sit there and talk, I mostly listen afraid to say something wrong. At one point Robyn says “I still can’t get over what you did to that Jeremy guy” and she shakes her head. Besides me Eric nudges my arm with his hand.

“Yeah that was just great.” his hand lingering on my arm. Everything inside me screams to just scoot over and pull his arm around me but that same everything also tells me to keep a little distance before it all spirals out of control, even more so than this morning. Robyn joins next to me.

“This couch is a lot more comfortable.” she says smiling at me. 

“Okay I need to know something and it’s of the utmost importance.” Mike says making everyone sigh. “Y/n what is the weirdest thing you’ve done or that you can do?” big grin on his face. 

Eric spits out his drink luckily to the right side of him and not all over me and Robyn. He walks straight into the kitchen to clean himself up and bring a towel with him. “Sorry about that dude” he tells Dylan. He doesn’t look at me when he sits back down. 

“Okay that was weird” Mike says pointing at Eric and then to me. “If you’re gonna tell me the weirdest thing you did was Eric I’m gonna flip” Robyn gasps at what he says and I just look at him.

“The weirdest thing I ever did” I say going over his words completely, Eric is resting his elbow on the sofa handrail with his face in his hand. Dylan looks at anything but me or Eric with anxiety in his eyes.

“You know weird is not defined as one thing. What’s weird to you can be normal to the next so I find that hard to answer” and I cross my arms very happy with my answer.

“Cut the crap and answer” Mike says making me laugh involuntarily. 

“Oh my god, Mike. Fine. The weirdest thing I can do is” and I stretch the final three words “oh I know, I can tie a knot in the stem of a cherry with my tongue” and in front of me is Mike on the edge of the other couch, eyes wider than I’ve ever seen eyes. Besides me Eric gets up to go fill up his drink when he returns he sits back down on the couch before me instead of back next to me. Which I find a little odd. After a blissful moment of silence Mike regains his voice.

“Jeeeeeesus. Guys imagine what she can do with that tongue” he says and his eyes start to sparkle. Dylan is laughing actually and Eric just hides his face in his hand. “You know, I’ve heard that girls who can do that give the best head” Mike says shamelessly.

“Fucking hell man” Dylan says making me chuckle, besides me Robyn’s eyes are big as well and she moves over and starts to whisper something in my ear. She’s a genius. I try to play it off with a poker face. “She thinks you’re crazy man” I tell him. “However you’re right, I do give the best head” I say on Robyns advice to shut him up. 

In front of me are six bewildered and huge eyes ready to pop out. All three are looking at me, even Dylan. All completely dumbfounded by what I just said. And I look at them with a straight face taking it all in. Mike starts to breath real loud and Eric, well Eric’s eyes are radiant and a little red shows on his cheeks.

I look at Robyn and it’s over. Her eyes push me out of my poker face and we both start to laugh so hard. The boys look at each other and back at us.

“Do you guys think this is a joke, I was dead serious” Mike says but even he’s laughing.

“You know Mike. I’ve learned a secret” and I lean forward over the table closer to him. He does the same.

“Tell me” he says and besides him Eric is not very amused but says or does nothing.

“People who talk about sex a lot especially when girls are around usually are the ones that you know” and I pop some corn in my mouth “never have sex” and I start chewing. Leaning back I watch the brutal carnage that plays out in front of me. Eric and Dylan are almost jumping up and down pushing Mike from one way to another between them. Robyn is laughing so hard I can see what she had for lunch yesterday. Such a happy and fun moment, no strings attached. When everyone finally calmed down I ask Dylan where the bathroom is and follow his directions to the upstairs bathroom because that has more space. When I get back down I’m greeted by Eric next to the bathroom down stairs. 

“Hey” he says almost breathless.

“Hey you” I say smiling at him. His facial structure is so defined and I feel myself getting lost in thought somewhere between his cheekbones and jaw. 

“Are you okay?” he asks me with a hint of worry in his voice.

“Yeah why?” I ask him and I see he’s in doubt whether he should make physical contact. He ends up nudging my hand with his.

“Just checking. We should find a moment later to talk a little” he says.

“I agree” and I take his hand in mine craving the touch like I know he does too. The second my hand is in his he squeezes it tight before letting go. Together we walk into the living room. Three heads turning as we enter.

“Well will you look at that” Mike says annoyingly “what have you two been up to in the bathroom” and he’s got such a big mouth on him.

“The moment is over dude” Eric says so annoyed. 

“Eric my man, the moment is never over to talk about sex and seriously she” and he looks at me “excuse me you, talk about it so freely. I think we should explore” and he nods his head yes like he’s high or something.

“That’s because I’m not from this ti.” and I shut my mouth immediately. Dylan and Eric tense up completely.

_ fuck fuck fuck _

“I’m not from this type of environment. I’m from Europe dude. We’re not so embarrassed as Americans when it comes to that subject” Sitting back next to Robyn I look at Eric who has a nervous grin on his face. 

“You need to tell me what European guys look like” Robyn says smirking.

“Well that would depend on what country we’re talking about.” 

“What does that mean?” she asks.

“Well if we talk Italian guys, it’s all about wine, food and sex. And the guys all have dark hair and dreamy faces. Go to Sweden and everyone is blond and stunning to say the least. So it really just depends” 

The guys are looking at us not sure what to think.

“And guys from Amsterdam?” she asks still smirking.

“I’ll tell you about them some other time” wiggling my eyebrows.

“This popcorn needs to be eaten” Dylan says to change the subject because when boys talk about sex and girls it’s acceptable, girls do the same and they get insecure. 

“With popcorn we need a movie” Mike says. I point to Dylan and say “I second that” 

Twenty minutes later Dylan popped in a movie and we’re all crammed together on the couch with Dylan on the floor in front of us. On the couch we’re Mike is at the far left with Robyn besides him and then Eric and I’m at the far right. About 40 minutes into the movie Eric moves a little bit and ends up closer to me. I feel what he’s doing Immediately and scoot just a little closer myself. When I look at him he has a blank expression but eyes that speak volumes. He doesn’t like having to be so careful so Dylan doesn’t get suspicious over how close we are and he certainly doesn’t like that he can’t be around me the way he wants to be. I feel like a high school kid myself right now. Afraid to be caught when you like someone, the way your heart gets stuck in your throat when they’re close when other people are around. I am so fucking happy I’m not in highschool anymore even if just by a couple of years. The movie sucks and I already forgot the beginning. When it’s finally over I see Robyn looking exactly like I feel, pooped out. “Okay I’m gonna say it, this movie sucked” I throw out there. 

“What” Dylan says turning around to face me. I decide it’s time to close the space between me and Dylan just a little so I sit on the floor next to him on my knees. He’s surprised I did so and leans back a bit.

“Okay so the lead male is a sexist pig” and behind me Robyn says “thank you”.

“The plot is horrible and the actors even worse. It’s that movie Sharknado only worse” I blurt out.

_ fuck fuck fuck _

“Shark what?” Mike says

“That independent low budget movie you mentioned the other day right?” Eric says promptly.

“That’s right” I lie

“Oh yeah that didn't air here” he says carelessly. Saving my ass while breaking my heart in the process. 

“Anyway! As I was saying it sucked” I said while I placed my hands on Dylan’s shoulders. He looks at me with the sides of his mouth curled up but doesn’t say anything.

“She’s right, it sucked the life out of me.” Robyn says irritated by the time she lost. “I should be heading home” and she gets up to go get her coat.

“I’m staying, play some video games I think” Mike said. 

“Robyn, could you give me a ride please?” I ask her and besides me Eric says “and me too please” .

“Sure” and just like that we all get our stuff together when Dylan calls out for me.

“Hey y/n could you come here a second?” he yells from the kitchen. I look at Eric who’s not certain what to think. 

“Yeah of course” and I go see him there. Dylan is leaning against the kitchen counter and has a soft smile on his face. 

“We started off so wrong. I’m sorry for my end of it” he says straight to the point.

“Dylan if anyone is sorry it’s me. I handled it all wrong dumping all that on you in the first 5 minutes we met but I was so focussed on one thing that I lacked the skill to handle the whole picture.” I say relieved this finally comes up so I can tell him this.

He nods and he says “it’s all good” and he waves me to follow him back to the others. 

Eric is waiting with my jacket in his hands, when I walk over to him he helps me in it. Robyn is with Mike in the living room looking at us with a smile on her face.

“You’re helping her because you know what that tongue does huh” Mike yells at Eric and I feel him freeze behind me. 

“He doesn’t know anything, neither does Robyn” I say quickly as I turn around so Mike and the others doesn’t see me talking. Turning back I say “yeah thanks Mike, ever occur to you that he’s just being nice? Foreign concept to you I know” when I have everything I say “I’m ready Robyn let’s go before Mike starts handing out 5yr old condoms” Making Eric besides me laugh so hard the sound scared me. I look at him and smile at his happiness.

“Do you two need a condom?” Mike says daring. 

“Bye Mike” I say and I wave at Dylan. 

Once we’re outside Eric says “Jesus that guy is tiring” making us laugh.

“He is but I’ve never seen you handle him so calm, kudos to you dude” Robyn says hitting him in the arm playfully.

“Thanks” Eric says surprised “I appreciate it that” genuinely happy. From a small distance I look at them while they talk to each other and my heart fills up with joy. This time Eric sits behind us and I sit in the front with Robyn.

“Alright who do I drop off first?” she asks, Eric answers for the both of us.

“You can drop us both off at her motel”

Robyn looks at me with a brow raised and says “alright no problem” and she looks in the mirror to Eric. “We need to meet sometime together to talk European and especially Amsterdam men” 

“Definitely” I say looking into the mirror I see Eric looking outside with a glare and small eyes.

Eric gives her directions in the last few minutes and when we get there Robyn leans in to give me a hug and she says “see you tomorrow Eric lets meet for lunch okay?” 

“Yeah sounds good!” he says goodbye and comes out of the backseat. We both wave at her and when she’s out of sight he looks at me with that lopsided smirk of his. “What? What are you thinking about?” I ask him.

“Nothing” he says smiling.

“Oh come on, tell me” and I walk up to him with my eyes growing wide.

“No don’t you do that again” he says knowing what’s coming next. 

“Fine” and I look at him “you’re going to have to tell me though” and Eric tilts his head.

“I’m not sure I will” he says crossing his arms. 

“That’s mean” 

“I know, hey what did Dylan say to you?” he asks me with some uncertainty in his voice. I walk over to the door and go in, Eric waits by the door.

“Come in” I tell him and wave him in. He’s hesitant and stays near the door which he closes behind him. I place my bag on the bed and take my jacket off, I see that Eric leaves his jacket on. “You’re not taking that off?” I ask him and I walk into the bathroom with another shirt in my hands. The one I was wearing was too warm so I pulled out a t-shirt to put on. Eric begins opening his jacket but doesn’t take it off. 

“What are you doing?” Eric asks me.

“Putting on another shirt I’m warm.” and I close the door to change. The shirt is a simple white t-shirt only it’s tight and it leaves part of my belly visible.

“Okay but what did Dylan say?” He asks loudly.

While putting on the shirt I tell him “Dylan wanted to clear the air, since we started off rocky he wanted to change that.” I tell him and when I get back out of the bathroom Eric flat out stares at me.

He clears his throat and says “that’s good, that uhm looks good” and he takes his eyes off of me.

“What the shirt on me or my talk with Dylan” I say teasing him  _ stop talking to him like this _ I scold myself.

He looks at me with that lopsided smirk and says “I was talking about the conversation but that shirt really does look good on you.” he says smirk still present and shamelessly he lets his eyes wander over me. “I haven’t seen anything that didn't look good on you though” he says making me blush. “Are you blushing?” he instantly calls me out.

“No” I say with a small smile.

He takes a few steps closer and says “I think you are” and he comes even closer. My heart stops beating, I did this, this is my fault I shouldn’t have teased him like that. “See right there” and he pokes my cheeks with his finger, big smile on his face.

“Okay fine, I’m blushing. So where you” I say walking past him to sit on the bed.

“What when?” he asks following me with his eyes and whole body as I walk away.

“After Mike’s precious comments about what he heard about girls who can do what I do” his eyes grow dark but not angry no something that I do not want to recognise for what it is.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he says while he sits down next to me on the bed, more space between us then usual. 

“Yeah of course you don’t” and as I look at him it hits me how little time we have left. Tomorrow the school week starts and I’d see him a lot less. “You know Eric, it could be like this after high school I mean.” and I look at him to see how he receives my words. He doesn’t say anything and looks at his hands. “Fun things don’t end after graduation and not everyone knows exactly where they’re going once they graduate.” now he looks at me a little nervous.

“What are you trying to say?” he asks a little harsh.

I need to be direct, that’s what the message meant, even though it’s going in the right way. “That you won’t always feel like you’re left out. High school is horrible but life is more than just that.” I move closer to him, the realisation that everything is getting closer makes me very nervous, the thought of losing him becomes unbearable. Especially after today. I take his hand in mine while I look into his eyes. “We had so much fun today, imagine how much more you could have. We how much more we can have” and I see the war that’s in his eyes, I can see it like I see his face, it’s clear as day. He’s torn between the mission he’s been trying to complete for so long and the idea that maybe there is another path for him. 

“Well I’ll think about what you said” he says and I think he understands my look because he ads “I promise” 

I give him a big smile, I can’t help it “really?” I ask probably sounding desperate to him. He tilts his head and his eyes go really soft. He doesn’t answer with words but by raising up our hands and as mine is close to his lips he says “I promise” the words vibrating on my skin, sending shivers down my spine and he brings my hand up to place a soft kiss on it, not one or two but three kisses each kiss lasting just a tad longer then the one before. 

When he lets go of my hand he gets up from the bed standing in front of me he asks “could you drop me off home? My parents will go nuts if I don’t show my face soon” 

I stand up and say “absolutely” when I go to get my jacket Eric stops me with a hand on my lower side, touching he bare skin with his fingers. Turning to look at him I see his radiant smile and he seems in doubt about what his next move is so he just lets go and waves me off to get my things. When my back is turned against him I let my eyes fall close, realizing that perhaps there isn’t anything I’d rather do but tell him everything about our connection. Jacket on I walk to the door and open in. We walk out and I run back in to grab a long vest which I put on underneath my jacket. It was a bit too cold for just a jacket. I sip it up and proceed to the car.

Once we’re in the car Eric turns to me and says “I’m never getting my shirts back am I?” catching me completely off guard. I raise my head and look at him, he looks smug, let's wipe that off his face. 

“Nope” I say and his mouth drops open, he didn't expect that.

“Uhm that Rammstein shirt is one of my favorites” he says.

“I’m just gonna keep that” and I shrug looking at him with a smile “you’ll get it back one day” and I chuckle.

“Yeah in June I bet” but he’s laughing as he says so.

“Sounds like a plan” and I drive off towards his home.

Somewhere along the ride Eric decides it’s a good idea to say “if only Mike knew I already got a taste of what that tongue does”. Shocked I look at him and he just looks at me, that lopsided smirk on his face. On the inside I’m glowing at how easy it is between us, so comfortable and just right.

“Eric” I say startled by his bluntness.

“What only you can shock people” he asks amused at my reaction. Thinking back about my joke I shake my head.

“Robyn’s fault” I try to lay blame somewhere else.

“Yeah yeah Robyn’s fault.” and he laughs. 

We’re both cooled down from that turn of conversation when I stop just before the last turn to his house.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Stopping the car so you can get out” I say stating the obvious.

“Why?” his eyes locking mine, forever if he wanted to.

“Because otherwise they might see me?” I say raising up my hands like duh.

“So what? Come on, drive me to my place” he says smiling not a single hint of insecurity.

“Okay if you say so” and I drive on, heart palpitating as I see his house. I even let out a deep breath as I drive up to it. Eric notices and places his hand on my leg. My eyes shoot down to his hand immediately and back up to his face. He squeezes my leg just above my knee and smiles so tenderly at me I think my soul might forever be changed by this moment. 

As if he can read my mind he says “it’s okay, I’m here with you” and I feel overwhelmed. I reach up to my face with my hands and tears well up in my eyes. Eric unlocks his belt and mine so he can pull me into a hug. My hands still in front of my face and eyes as he holds me. “I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to overwhelm you like this, I didn't think it through. Forgive me.” 

I want to say he doesn’t have to apologize but I don’t because actually it’s a good thing he realizes what it does to me. It means he’s starting to be aware of the consequences his actions will have, which he never got confronted with before I got her. At least not this directly.

I nod my head and wipe of my tears. Eric helps me do so, his hand on my one cheek while his other one is still around me. He moves his thumb so he gets every single wet spot on my cheek while I dry the other. He locks eyes with me and says “I’m sorry I made you cry, beautiful”.

He just called me beautiful as a pet name.. I can’t help but smile and if I hadn’t he would have seen my heart jump out of my body. “Okay” I say timidly and when I do he leans in wetting his lips leaving mine untouched while he places a gentle wet kiss on my cheek. When he pulls back he left behind a warm feeling in my chest and a little love on my cheek.

“Come on I want you to meet my parents” he says with the biggest grin. 

“What?” I manage to bring out.

“Yeah, you heard me. Come on” and he gets out of the car expecting me to follow him. 

I sit there with a whirlpool of emotions and thoughts running through me as I contemplate my next move.


	11. Meeting his parents and visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! Here's another chapter, let me know what you think!

“Get back in this car right now” I say to Eric who stands outside very much amused. He sighs and gets back in.

“Why?” he asks me with a huge grin still on his face.

“You want me to meet your parents, that’s why” I tell him with my jaw in my lap. He takes my chin in his hand and closes my mouth.

“Yes I want you to meet my parents is that so weird?” he asks innocently with his slender face all gleeful at my reaction.

“Well I mean no but at the same time it’s very weird” I say looking at his house.

“I just want you to meet them.” and he opens the door and gets out. “Let’s go.” 

Reluctantly and extremely nervous I get out of the car “well what do we say? How do we know each other?” I say catching up with him and when I do I grab his arm. Laughing I say “Harris answer me” this makes him laugh so hard.

“I told them we met online, that you’re here from Europe and are planning to stay here. So it’s all good” his eyes are practically glowing as he tells me this.

“You told them about me?” I ask him surprised.  _ Are planning to stay here _ loops on repeat in my head and it feels like a sign that he said that.

“Well of course.” and he starts to walk to the door, taking his keys from his pocket. I follow him close by. I cannot believe he’s inviting me into his home, to meet his parents. Kathy and Wayne Harris. He opens the door and holds it open for me to enter. I feel like a teenager when I say.

“No you go first” making Eric chuckle.

“Alright” he goes first and when he closes the door behind us he says something that for some reason makes me very emotional “mom?” 

We take off our shoes at the door and walk in. After a short silence I hear a kind voice say “I’m upstairs, will be down in a minute”.

“Alright, I brought someone” and Eric pulls me in by my hand, which proves a bit difficult because I’m nailed to the ground. I’m in Eric Harris’s house. I could not have been more wrong when I imagined how his house looked, even the layout is so much different. 

“Y/n are you okay?” and he rubs my hand with his thumb.

“Yeah” I say breathlessly. “No actually I’m not” and I look at him, his eyes worry over me. 

“It’s okay, remember what I said in the car.” he smiles and then we hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Not much time to panic but my breath gets stuck in my throat. There she is, his mother, Kathy. A really big smile on her face, Eric’s smile is very similar to hers. 

“Hello there. I’m Kathy Harris, Eric’s mother. You must be y/n” she extends her hand and it takes everything for me to raise mine to meet hers. I focus on my breathing trying to calm myself down. 

“Hello Mrs. Harris, yes I am.” and I'm stunned she knew who I was immediately. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I say shaking her hand. I remember reading about how at the first of many conversations in the police station Kathy cried holding pictures of Eric, showing them what a good boy he was. “You have a lovely home” I say with a forced smile.

“Thank you, you’re from Europe right?” she says as she walks out in front of us. Eric places his hand on my back, a little lower than ever before as he guides me to the living room. His mother walks into the kitchen.

“You’re right ma’am I am from Europe. The Netherlands to be precise. The tiniest country in all of Europe.” I tell her.

Eric looking at me contently sitting on his living room couch while I talk with his mother. 

Kathy comes walking in with two lemonades for us and while she places them on the table on the coasters she asks “is it true that in Europe you walk into the next country like it’s nothing?” giving a sweet smile as she joins us on the couch across from us. 

“Yes that is correct, this one time I was on a vacation near Belgium and when me and my stepmom went biking we just casually rode into Belgium. We only found out when we needed to ask for directions. We had some waffles and went back.” I say looking at her laughing.

“Hey have you been to Germany?” Eric asks curious.

“Yes once to Aken, to a Christmas market. It was a short visit though and in the evening we had car trouble. So I should really go back once.” I tell him. What I wanted to say was how he should go there too but I chickened out. 

“Well it’s lovely to meet you, I’ve heard quite a lot about you even though Eric only told me about you this week.” she says looking at her son with an amused look. Eric however does not look so amused, I bet he didn't want me to know he talked about me that much to her. It makes me very warm inside that he did. The uncertainty of how it will all go in the next time period is really starting to get to me. 

“Oh really? I hope they were all good things?” I ask her with a smile and a nudge to Eric’s shoulders making them both smile.

“Yes lovely, in fact” but she stops talking when the front door opens. She looks over there and says “that’s Wayne, how nice you’ll meet him too.” she says sweetly. 

His father walks in, he looks very stern in the way he carries himself but when he walks in and sees us he greets us ever so polite and kind. “Hello” he says walking in. He smiles at his wife and son and comes to meet me. I stand up to greet him properly. “Hello, I’m Wayne Harris” and he raises his hand. I meet his hand and eyes.

“Hi mr Harris, I’m y/n. How are you? It’s so nice to meet you” and only now do I realise how happy I am that I put on my vest, this could not have happened in just my tight white shirt. 

“I am very well, and yourself?” he says while sitting down next to his wife, who gets up to the kitchen undoubtable to get him a drink. 

“I’m good, thank you” and I sit down back to Eric. Feeling a little uncomfortable with this all. Kathy comes back with a lemonade for her husband and only then do I figure I should probably be polite and have a drink. Taking the lemonade from the table I bring the glass up to my mouth and take a sip. It’s delicious, the lemon in so powerful but in the sweetest way. “Hmm this is very good, did you make this?” I ask Kathy. 

A big smile appears on her face when she says “yes I did, I’m glad you like it.” 

“I love it” I say enthusiastically. Making Eric beside me chuckle. “What?” and I smile at him. He smiles back and so there we are smiling at each other from ear to ear in front of his parents. 

“Nothing” Eric says with his brows raised “I was just laughing.” When I look back at his parents I see that all too familiar look. The one that either says ah they’re so cute or look at those two. It makes me blush and sad at the same time. “Come on let me show you my room” Eric says as if it’s nothing. I look at him and he sees the hesitation in my eyes, with his parents here he can’t have me freeze on him again. “I promise I won’t bite” he says sighing overdramatically. 

“When you two get back up I’ll have a bottle of lemonade ready for you to take with you.” Kathy tells me kindly.

“Thank you, I really appreciate that” I say with a sincere smile. Eric besides me gets up and I follow him. When he walks over to the staircase into the basement my heart decides to do jumping jacks. My eyes grow wide and I feel so scared. Eric catches on quickly and he takes my hand. In front of his parents. I don’t even dare to look at them. “Seriously I won’t bite” he says again with that lovely sweet smile of his. 

I need to recover, they’re right behind me I yell at myself in my head. “Yeah I know, I’m just not looking forward to seeing your man cave.” and behind me Kathy and Wayne start to laugh.

“Man cave, what a concept” Wayne says. I turn back and smile at him and his wife.

Eric is still holding my hand when we approach the wooden stair banister. When Eric goes down the stairs he lets go of my hand. For a second I feel like a toddler having to go down a scary stairwell by herself. But I regain myself because I can’t keep having these malfunctions everywhere in this house. I follow him down quickly and when we enter the basement I make sure I’m focussed on my breathing. Eric opens his bedroom door for me. I smile at him as I walk past him.  _ Who can I trick into my room first _ Eric’s words from his journal run through my head. “Thank you” I say while I enter.

Looking around me I again imagined it so much different then it really is. I see some of the things the reports talk about. The posters, concert tickets on the wall. His bed, a single bed. “This really is a man cave” I say to him as he closes the door behind me. 

“You don’t like it?” he asks while he goes to sit on his bed. I stay on my feet. 

“I do actually. It’s very you” and I walk through his room and over to his cd’s. “not exactly how I imagined it” my back now against him.

I hear the enthusiasm in his voice when he says “you imagined what my room looked like?” I don’t have to turn around to know he’s smiling like an idiot.

“Perhaps” and I turn around to grin at him finding that his eyes are down south. “Are you staring at my ass Harris?” I ask while my back is turned towards him. When I look around I see he’s grinning. 

“Would you mind if I was?” he asks daring.

“Would you care if I did?” answering his question with one. He shakes his head and doesn’t say anything else about it. Turning around to face him he’s still looking at my ass. “Really?” I say smiling. I walk over to sit down next to him. His cheeks a little red. “So you told your mother about me?” I ask him making him even more shy. 

“Perhaps” he says mimicking my evasive answer not looking at me

“I think you told her all about me, everything except the obvious of course.” I keep looking at him to see his reaction.

“And what would that all be then?” he asks looking at me now.

“I don’t know actually, she said it was lovely what you told her about me.” I say frowning. “What did you say about me?” 

“Oh you know just that I think you’re the love of my life” he says with a grave face, looking directly at me.

I think my soul just left the building. I’m sitting there completely stunned. Not sure if he’s kidding or not. I want to ask him if he’s kidding but what comes out is something else completely “shut up you didn't. Tell me the truth” and I let out a coy chuckle.

“Oh your face is priceless” he says with a smirk on his face. I close my eyes and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed. “I told her that I was hanging out with someone so interesting I don’t even know how to sleep properly anymore.” he says but then changes to a whole other subject as if he regretted saying that “Oh and also” he gets up leaving me behind with a fuzzy and warm feeling in my stomach, he couldn’t sleep properly anymore and he even said that to his mother. He comes back with something in his hand. “Did you bring more issues of this? It’s really good” and he gives me back The Walking dead comic I gave him in one of the first few days.

“Oh wow I forgot about this” and I look at him while he sits down cross-legged in the middle of his bed with his back turned towards the headboard of his bed. “Sorry I didn't bring anymore but don’t worry it doesn’t take too long for the comic to be released” I say with an evil grin. I turn towards him and sit the same way. Putting the comic beside me I say “I can’t believe I’m sitting here with you in your room” and he tilts his head looking at me. “I never imagined it would be this way” I say carelessly. Eric’s eyes turn big and his smile is lopsided “you imagined being in my room with me?” I close my eyes and bend my head down.

“Perhaps” I say looking at my socks. He starts to laugh.

“You did, what did you think it would be like?” he asks very happy with himself. 

A deep sigh comes out of my mouth before I say “not like this” 

“Oh come on you’re going to have to give me more than that.” he says grinning.

“You know what I don’t think I will” and I meet his eyes and what he does next really flips my heart upside down. 

“Please” Eric says while he pouts his bottom lip making his eyes all big. 

My jaw drops open and I start to laugh, Eric reaches for my hands and takes them in his. “Please tell me” he says and he starts to bat his eyelashes at me and everything.

“Oh my god is that how that looks, I need to stop doing that.” and I start to laugh. Eric can’t keep this up and starts to laugh with me. 

“No don’t you stop doing this” he says while he lets go of my hands. 

“What you always tell me to stop” I say unbelieving of what he’s saying. 

“Yeah well don’t” he says getting all shy and he stops looking at me. “Just tell me what you’ve been imagining” smirk back on his face as he looks up again. 

“Fine. I’ve thought about a lot of things actually. Just talking to you in a normal situation you know. Being your friend, wishing I could have been there for you and you know other stuff as well.” his eyes are shining a little bit. He smiles so gentle giving me the impression he likes that I thought about those things. Evil takes over when he asks.

“What other stuff” 

“I say all that and this is what you focus on?” I say shaking my head at him. “Other stuff. You know just what your room looked like and such” I shrug.

“Any dirty stuff you thought about?” and he wiggles his eyebrows. My heart starts to pound in my chest as he asks this. If only he knew the truth. Thinking of his joke earlier regarding him talking to his mom I decide to make a similar one only I know there’s actually truth in mine.

“Oh yeah, we had sex numerous times in my head and dreams” keeping a stern face as best as I can. 

“Don’t joke about that, you’ll crush my every dream” he says a bit uncertain trying to sound smug while joking. 

“Wait you had dreams about that?” I say trying to turn this around to him.

“Shut up” he says averting his eyes. 

“Oh come on tell me, you can tell me” and I give him the pouty face.

“No!” he says extending his hand out and placing it over my face. Smiling against his hand I pull it down and keep it in one hand while placing the other on his shoulder. I tilt my head and keep making a pout and I try to let my eyelashes flutter. “You stop that right now” but he smiles so beautifully that I can’t. I want to keep looking at that smile forever. He starts to laugh with the most amazing sound and I get so happy. “You can’t do this to me” he says but I don’t stop. His words only motivate me more. “God you’re so gorgeous” he blurts out startling himself and me. I look at him and he looks back. 

Smiling at him I say without thinking about the consequences “Harris you keep talking to me like that and you might have a girl think you’re a little sweet on her” 

I watch the smile disappear from his face to make place for a more serious look, his eyes go over me and to our hands together. He laces our fingers together making my heart flutter all through my chest.

My other hand is still on his shoulder when he says “Isn’t it obvious that I am?” locking eyes with me as he does. Right in that moment my need for him close to me, to feel him, to touch and taste him overpowers everything else. In one swift movement I get up on my knees and I kiss him. His free hand shoots up to the back of my head as he deepens the kiss vigorously. Getting up on his knees himself, letting go of my hand to pull me as close against him as he can. I feel his breathing getting heavier as he feels my chest pressed against him and a low growl escapes his lips but he’s too deep into this to care. I wrap my arms around his back and let one hand shoot up to the back of his head, feeling his hair under my fingers. Eric is letting every bit of hesitation go when he lets his hands sink down to my ass, groping and kneading with deep desire to feel me. He leads the kiss in a sloppy and eager way, his tongue pressing against mine, twirling around in my wanting mouth. He licks my lips and I do the same to his. Sucking in his plump bottom lip biting down on it softly I try to refrain from giving in completely but when he breaks the kiss looking at me with lust in his eyes before he starts to trail butterfly kisses down onto my neck he’s making it impossible. A moan from deep within leaves my lips making Eric pant against my neck. He buries his lips in my neck leaning down a bit to my front licking my neck and sucking down on the skin. Losing all his reserves he pulls down my shirt revealing my cleavage to himself “oh shit” he growls looking at my body before he lets his mouth suck on the skin there undoubtable marking me as his where no one can see it. My head falls back as he does so, giving him free space to make his way up to my lips again while he savors every inch of my neck before he gets there. When he kisses me again he lets his hands run up my back and under my shirt. No longer can I think straight, every last reserve I still had is gone when I let my hand run down his abdomen over his shirt and down to his pants and I palm his hard on over his pants. My fingers tightening around his length. Eric gasps and pulls back, his chest going up and down quick and heavy as he looks at me. I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest and I place my arms around his neck hating letting him go.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have” I don’t dare look in his eyes.

“No don’t say that” he whispers in my ear before leaving tiny kisses on my cheek and neck “I was just surprised that’s all, it’s fine. Believe me. You’re perfect” he says emphasizing the word perfect. His arms around me pulling me in closer, letting me feel him against me.

Feeling him against me like that makes it hard for me to concentrate on what I want to say “It’s not just that” I say panting while I let my hands run through his hair and over his back “I didn't think.” unable to finish my sentence. I know I have to create more space between us but it’s so hard because I don’t want that. Reluctantly and scolding myself for it I pull myself back out of his arms and look at him. His eyes still filled with lust and something else I’m not sure what it is. “I’m sorry, believe me when I say I don’t want to pull myself away from you.” and a small smile appears on my lips before I suck them in trying to keep his taste on them. “But I have to because I just broke so many rules and I can get in a lot of trouble” this catches Eric’s attention.

“Trouble? Bad trouble? Like having to go back trouble?” he asks almost frantic. If only he knew it’s the complete opposite of having to go back.

“No they won’t make me go back but I could get in serious trouble that I really do not want to think about.” and I scoot off the bed, leaving Eric still there on his knees. Arms hanging beside him. He too gets off the bed while smiling at me before he places his hands on either side of my face.

“One more.” he says smiling as he closes the gap between us again, my hands on his hips as he lets his lips find mine again this time for a sweet and passionate kiss, one that makes me feel like I never want to let him go. I’m not sure but I’d almost say that this was a loving kiss. “You can tell them it’s my fault” he says smiling against my lips.

I start to laugh at his comment glad the tension is broken just a little bit “no this was both of us” and I smile before planting one last peck on his lips. I breath in deep and take a step back. 

He smiles and says “partners in crime” while he looks very smug.

“Poor choice of words Harris” I say while pulling my shirt and vest down trying to look decent again. 

“Yeah I heard it too” and he chuckles a little. Right after he says so his mother calls down.

“Eric, Dylan is on the phone” and Eric closes his eyes, clearing his throat he says “I’ll call him back later” 

We just kind of stand there together looking at each other. 

“Eric is y/n staying for dinner because it’s ready soon” his mother calls out again.

I want to say it may be best if I go but Eric just smirks and says “she’d love to” making me gasp out.

“Rude, what if I had plans?” I say obviously lying.

“Why what are you planning to do?” a cheeky smile on his face when he adds “besides me that is” making me playfully hit him while we both laugh. I wonder if I should start about what he said before we got ourselves in this position. Since I’m staying for dinner I thinks it's best if maybe I don’t bring that up right now. 

“We should go upstairs I should see if maybe I can help your mom with something in the kitchen. Let me freshen up a bit though” I say laughing when I feel what he did to my hair not to mention my bodily reaction to him. 

“Yeah go ahead, bathroom is over there” and he points me in the right direction. I go in and when I see myself in the mirror I whisper “I’m so fucked” I redo my hair a bit and splash my face and neck with some water. That’s when I pull my shirt down a bit and see the marks he gave me, soft reddish spots four of them. I let my fingers run over them and in a flash I feel his hot mouth on me again my eyes close and I feel him in my hand again, it drove me insane to feel him. Still does. Splashing more water I make sure I look decent before heading back in. When I do I see Eric standing there with a grin on his face, pants pocket a little big undoubtable holding clean underwear. He walks past me and says “all decent again” before he walks in for his moment. 

As soon as he locked the door behind him he leaned back against it. His heart was still racing and his hard on throbbing for a release. Goddamn she made him so hot. He walked over to the sink and when he sees his face he can’t help but grin, his lips are a bit swollen from her kisses. Leaning on his hands he lets his head fall down thinking about her, from her hot body to her grabbing his dick like that, fuck he wanted her so bad. He wanted to feel her around him and taste her. He wondered if she forget he said how he was sweet for her and fuck if only she knew he wasn’t kidding about what he had said to his mother. He opens his pants and lets it slide down, his briefs are a mes. Just the mere thought of how he tasted her lips and skin was enough to work him up again completely. He lets his hand drop down and in no time he can clean himself properly.

I sit on his bed waiting for him with the comic in my hand flipping through it. After maybe a minute or two he comes back out again with that lopsided smirk on his face. 

“Are you ready to go upstairs?” I ask him.

“Not yet I wanna talk to you for a sec” and he comes to sit beside me placing his hand on my thigh rubbing it softly before he takes my hand in his. “I have to say I’m a little worried about what might happen now that you broke these rules. You will let me know right?” he asks insecurely.

“What do you mean will I let you know? I will probably receive a message from Jack stating what the consequences or decision will be surrounding me breaking the rules.” and I get a little nervous myself at the thought.

“Well I mean you wouldn’t just vanish or something” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Of course I wouldn’t. Eric I’m not going anywhere, I’m here for you. It’s you that decides how long I’m here for” mentally slapping myself for saying so much but I can’t help it I want him to feel secure with me.

He nods and then says “alright let's go upstairs then” and he goes to open the door leaving my hand empty as he does so. I follow him and when I step onto the first step of the stairs I whisper back to him “you’re so checking out my ass” and he starts to laugh.

“Of course I am, if the consequences of just now weren’t freaking me out there was something else I’d do too” making me look back at him biting my bottom lip.

“How very romantic of you” I say smiling sarcastically.

“That’s me, beautiful” he says smiling back at me. 

When we get upstairs his mother is already setting the table and Eric walks over to help her. I offer to do the same but she told me to have a seat and wait for them to be ready. I do as I’m told and when it’s time to have dinner, his father and I are already in deep conversation about why I’m here alone. I give him the story Jack laid out for me in case I do not go back to my own time and Eric looks at me when he sees his father and me talking while we make our way to the kitchen table, now set with plates and food. Eric is very intrigued and probably wonders if what I’m telling is a programmed lie in my brain or if it might be the truth. Dinner is comfortable with some questions on either side and lots of admiration for certain things in Europe and by the time we’re ready to have dessert his mother is very excited about going to see some of the things I’ve told her for herself. After dessert Eric and his father clear the table and his mother pulls me aside.

“Eric wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if he knew I told you this but I just think you should know that he’s extremely fond of you.” she says straight forward. “I see how you look at him and I recognise the look” she says smiling with the look only a mother can give. I get very nervous and am not sure what to tell her. “I just thought you should know.” 

“May I ask why you’re telling me this?” I ask her shyly.

“Because I’ve never seen him this happy. And also I think you’re a wonderful girl” she smiles and rubs my arms with her hands before she nudges me to come join the rest again.

When we walk in both men look at use with big question marks on their faces. “Thank you for the hospitality, I should go now unfortunately.” I tell the Harris family.

“You’re welcome anytime, be sure to join us again soon” Wayne says and Eric walks over to me with a big smile in his face. 

His mother says “Oh I have that bottle of lemonade for you right here” and Kathy walks over to the counter where she left it. Handing it to me while she says “it was lovely to meet you. Hope we see you soon again.” and she even gives me a small hug overwhelming me with her kindness.

“Thank you all so much and for the lemonade, I really appreciate it.” and then I turn around followed by Eric to the front door to put on my shoes and get ready to go. Outside next to the car Eric can’t hide his curiosity anymore.

“Okay I have to ask, what did she say to you?” and he looks very nervous. I decide it’s best if I tell him the light version of what she said.

“She said she really liked me and that she’s happy you and I met” I say smiling “don’t worry, no embarrassing bed wet stories” and I smirk at him turning to open the car door. Eric looks at me as I do so.

“How about I come to you tomorrow after school?” he asks sweetly.

I nod and say “sounds like a plan” and I’m not really sure how to part ways, aware his parents are in the house and may see us and with everything that happened in his room. Luckily Eric is shedding all his insecurities around me and he places his hand in my neck and pulls me in, to place a tender but pressing kiss on my cheek. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Beautiful” he says with the corner of his mouth curled up.

“You bet.” and I hesitate to tell him but I do “ik hou van jou” making him frown.

“What does that mean?” he asks confused.

“I’ll tell you, one day” and I open the car door.

“In June?” he asks with a small smile and eyes that melt my heart.

“Or maybe sooner, that depends on you, handsome” I say smiling big at him. Before getting in my car to drive off. Eric waves before I hit the corner. I stop the car where I dropped him off the first time because my hands are trembling and my mind is racing. Him and me together on his bed, the words of his mom, talking to his dad, the house. Everything is getting to me and I need a minute to come to my senses. Alone in the car I’m also a lot more scared of Jack’s coming message for me. Having to shake it off I decide to go to my motel room and have a hot shower that lasts an hour at least.

Standing in the hot shower I wash everything off but the marks Eric left on me. When I’m able to finally drag myself from under the water I put on a top and my sweatpants. I take out my notebook and settle myself in bed no matter how early it still it. A good hour of writing passes when there’s a knock on my door. 

“Who is it?” I yell right after I climb out of bed. 

“It’s Dylan” making my brows shoot through the roof. Picking up my vest I put it on and open the door for him.

“Dylan hey” I say with my arms crossed. He’s standing there very uncomfortable looking at me.

“Hey I’m sorry to come here unannounced but I didn't have a number or anything. I can come back another time if you want” he asks timidly.

“No, no. Come in” I say as I step aside. He walks in and awkwardly stays standing in my room. “Sit if you want. On the bed or the chair whatever you like” and I smile at him. Remembering the lemonade I offer him some “would you like a lemonade?” 

“Uhm sure” Dylan says and I walk over to the fridge to get him a glass. Placing it beside him on the desk since he decided to sit down on the chair. “Thanks” he says simply.

“You’re welcome” I say smiling and I sit across from him on the bed “was there a specific reason for your visit or is it just awkwardly casual?” I say hoping to break the ice a little.

He laughs shyly and says “no there is a reason” and he sits forward leaning on his elbow and looking down. “Could you tell me more?” 

“More about what?” I ask him patiently.

“About what you said to me. You know things and knew about my diary, have you read it?” he asks still looking down mainly.

“I have. I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable” but he starts to shake his head.

“No let’s just leave that all behind and just please answer my questions if you can” he says looking at me shortly with a coy smile.

“Okay I will, I promise.” and I get really nervous as to what those questions are.

He doesn’t ease me into anything and starts of heavy from the get go “you said I didn't have to feel this way, what did you mean?” he keeps looking down now.

“I meant that so many things you’re feeling that make you hurt do not have to keep hurting you. There are ways to heal from it all.” I tell him hoping he’ll take it to heart.

“But what if it doesn’t change?” he asks seriously. 

“I think that the only way it won’t change is if you do not try. If you don’t want to accept help, it won’t change but I promise you all those demons you face they can fuck right off with the right help provided to you.” 

Dylan looks up and smiles softly. “Why is everything different now that you’re here?” 

“What do you mean exactly?” I ask because I don’t understand what he means.

“Between me and Eric and for me like why is it harder to want to do what we’ve planned for so long?” his eyes grow hard as he asks me this.

Thinking about how to answer this I breath in deeply through my nose and out through my mouth. “I think perhaps it’s harder to do because I’m confronting you with things. Or the fact that you know I hope it can still be stopped? I don’t know what else to make of it, sorry. As for you and Eric, I don’t know maybe because there’s more distance? Or I don’t know really maybe you should ask him.” 

Dylan nods at my words “fair enough” and he seems to think about his next question. “You talked about love, for me. Is that really true or are you lying to try and keep me from doing what I’m planning to do?”

This breaks my heart, Dylan is such a sweet guy wanting love more then anything. “I promise you.” and I sit down in front of him and take his reluctant hands in mine “there is love for you out there and it is radiant, like the sun” and he smiles without looking at me. When he does look at me I see his gaze going over my body and only then do I realize my top is a bit revealing so I pull my vest closer together hoping Dylan didn't see the marks on me. I let go of his hands and sit back on the bed. 

“It’s very obvious you’re here for Eric mainly, tell me the truth. Are you here for him out of love?” and his face changes, his eyes become darker and Im panicking as to what to do. What do I tell him. The truth? That might end up on Eric’s doorstep but if I lie, he’ll know for sure and I’ll lose the single drop of confidence I’m building right now. So I decide to tell him the truth hoping for the best.

“Yes, I am here because there is a connection of love between me and Eric.” my heart is racing and I’m so scared.

“I knew it. Does Eric know?” he asks now looking right at me.

“He has feelings for me I know that but I’m not sure he knows it's love and I definitely didn't tell him.” I avert my eyes afraid of his reaction. 

“You should tell him” Dylan says in the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard him talk in. “He deserves to know”

“I can’t” and I get up “if I do the consequences are irreversible and enormous.” and I start to pace.

“But true love deserves a chance” Dylan says getting passionate about the subject.

“If I tell him and you two go through with NBK I’m never going to get over that. I can’t tell him. It’s not that easy” and I close my eyes while I sit back down. “Believe me I wish I could!” 

“Does Eric know how I’m committed in a different way then he is?” he says not daring to voice how he just wants to die and go out with a loud thunder for all the pain he went through.

But I know, I understand what he means immediately “No and I would never tell him. I’m not allowed to” and I smile.

Dylan takes a sip from his lemonade and looks at the glass. “Well are you allowed to go to Eric’s house and meet his parents because Kathy made this.” and his eyes are now piercing right through me. “Were you there when I called? Is that why he called later and said he had been busy?” he asks a bit defiant. 

I feel like I can’t breath, afraid he’ll me mad at me or Eric if I answer this I stay quiet. 

“Just” and his hand shoots up “answer me please”

“Yes, I was there. And just like I’m allowed to go to your house I am also free to visit Eric” I say quickly before I can chicken out. 

Dylan puts the glass down and starts to shake his head up and down pushes his lips out. “Alright.” He looks at me and licks his lips before he points at my bosom. “Was that Eric?” he asks with a face of steel.

Pulling my vest closed I let my head fall down and just shake yes. He knew it was Eric before he asked.

“Uhm this is a little..and uh. Yeah thanks for answering my questions and letting me in in the first place. I have to go. I’ll see you around, undoubtable” and he gets up waving at me briefly before letting himself out. 

As sudden as he came in he left as well. Leaving me behind all stunned. Going over everything he said I get up to get my notebook and sit at the desk deciding I want to write it down now that it's all fresh in my memory, his questions and my answers, his demeanor and everything penned down. Getting up to wash his glass and put away the lemonade there is another knock on my door. 

“Jesus” I say out loud, wondering if it was Dylan again. I walk over to the door and open it to see the face of a woman in her mid 40s, short hairdo and a very serious face. On her chest is the black oval with the dots. She’s from the agency.

“Good Evening, I’m from the agency here to give you a message. Can I come in?” she asks serious but friendlier than the guy.

“Hello, of course come in.” and she walks in and stays standing, as straight as a candle. When she opens her briefcase resting on the desk she pulls out a piece of paper and I can already make out Jack’s signature and his seal. 

“Right, I am about to read you a message from Jack Le Temps:

Y/n, in the status update I informed you that we know rules are being broken by you, today you break them again and in a much more serious manner. With this message I will include a document stating the rules and consequences regarding speaking about the connection between you and Eric Harris to Eric Harris or anyone else. As a reminder what will happen if you do so, leaving no room for misconceptions. However the progress that we’re seeing is valuable and there is reason to believe that the rules you have broken is increasing the chances of success. There are members of the board now looking over what this means in regards to the consequences I mentioned earlier and if rules need to be bended for this particular mission. More on that matter is to follow. Keep your training in mind and keep up the good work.” 

The woman falls silent for a moment and seems to be accessing who’s in front of her. “Is that all clear?” she asks stern.

“Yes ma’am.” I say as I receive the papers from her that are for me and she gives me a pen to sign hers.

“Thank you and good night” without another look or word she turns around and walks out of the door. 

Yet again I am left behind all stunned, this time with papers in my hand and the only thing I can think about is how Jack wrote: “However the progress that we’re seeing is valuable and there is reason to believe that the rules you have broken increase the chances of success” and also what this means “There are members of the board now looking over what this means in regards to the consequences I mentioned earlier and if rules need to be bended for this particular mission..”. 

Sitting on my bed I feel numb, for a very long time. When out of nowhere I begin to weep like a baby, like those first nights I lay in bed crying every tiny feeling out of my body. I begin to shake as I no longer have any control over myself. The chances of success and the chances of failure are all wrapped around me like a cold winter's day. It takes me what feels like forever to fall asleep only to wake up to nightmares finding I’m all alone this time, no Eric to hold me and make me feel safe that he’s still here. The restless night feels so much more prolonged knowing I have to wait for Eric to be done with school before we meet again.


	12. Floral prints and other hidden treasures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, I sure did writing it! Please leave me comments if you wish because I love them <3

I press play for the millionth time to watch her talk to me, even after all this time it didn't get repetitive. Not to me at least. Thinking about her sweet laugh and witty comments I press play again:

_ “Okay so, shut up I know what you’re thinking and I don’t care. Okay I’m making you a good luck video and well by the time you see this you can’t even do shit about it anymore so hehe. First off all I cannot believe you’re going to travel through time for a star crossed lover. I swear it doesn’t get more epic than this. You know I believe in you, I believe you can change what you need to in order to succeed. And every single step of the way I’m gonna be there in spirit. Holding your hand when you need it, hugging you when you miss us and laugh with you when you do. Girl I can’t even begin to imagine what this all means to you but I do know that the connection between you two is going to overpower any negative thought this boy ever had.” she pauzes to regain her posture, I see the watery line in her eyes before she continues. “I’m gonna miss you so much but loving someone means supporting them in every way and you know I love you, I love you so I got you my twinsie. We’ll always be together no matter where we are.” and she lifts up her ankle to reveal the little hourglass tattoo we share “time doesn’t change shit” she inhales deep before she says “I love you and you love me and that’s all that matters” she blows a kiss at me and shuts off the camera. _

“Twinsies” I whisper with a smile on my face and a tear in my eyes, my sister left me a video as well but I choke up everytime I try to open it. I can’t watch that, I just can’t it will make me want to run home and hold her for as long as my arms can. That will have to wait for when I succeed or I go home and don’t need it. 

Only fifteen more minutes till Eric can be here at the earliest. So I decided to change my clothes, into white washed high waisted jeans and a salmon colored tank top tucked in finished with a thin black belt, low black converse are in front of the door waiting to be put on. 

My heart jolts when I hear a knock on the door. Walking over there I’m all excited. Opening the door that familiar rumble in my stomach happens when I see Eric standing there but when I see his face my happiness disappears like snow does when the sun comes out again. He looks absolutely miserable. 

“Eric whats wrong?” I ask him while I immediately pull him in by his hand. He’s not talking and when I let go of his hand he just lets himself drop onto the bed, sitting there looking very cross with someone or something. I decide to sit down next to him and just casually wait for him to want to talk. I place my arm around him and let my head find his shoulder, his body feels tense and upset. He must be so tired from being angry and upset all the time. For a little while we just sit there when suddenly I feel his head resting on mine and his hand searches for mine until he finds it. “I can’t believe how much I fucking hate people” he says upset.

I sigh and say “same really” 

“Don’t mock me please, I’m not in the mood.” he says softly.

“I’m not” and I chuckle “I can’t stand most people” 

Eric now turns his head to look at me “are you serious?” and I raise my head up to meet his eyes.

“Yes I’m serious and I did especially in high school because it’s mandatory and everyone has to be there. As soon as I started college that changed because I was starting to go in a direction I liked and so where the others there, we were there because we wanted to be not because we had to. However most people are still annoying.” 

“Hmm I never would have guessed you felt that way, since you’re so..patient and good with people and all that” he says making me chuckle. “What why are you laughing?” he asks looking at me.

“Nothing it’s just how you said it.” and I smile at him. “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask him in a careful manner.

“No not really.” he says looking at the floor.

“Is there anything else I can do?” I ask innocently.

He raises one eyebrow and has a smirk on his face “well I can think of several things”.

“You’re insufferable Harris” I say but I have to smile because he does too. “Be serious please.”

“I don’t know. If I think of something I’ll let you know” he continues on a more serious note. 

“Talking about it really does help you know” but he gives me a look that says please stop. “Okay okay as you wish” and I feel that lump in my chest again when he’s so close and I catch his scent making my head spin.

He snaps his fingers before he says “I’ve been wondering all day did you get a message or something from that Jack dude?” and his eyes are just a little worried when he asks me.

“I did. He send me the documents that say what the consequences are for breaking specific rules. To remind me and make sure I can’t say I didn't know.” I purposely left out the more positive news because I’m just not sure if he’s ready for that, hearing that maybe something might change in his plans. The idea of that becoming real is really starting to get to me. I fear it might make me careless, that I’ll just give in to all my desires with Eric thinking it’ll be safe and then wake up the 20th to find out he was never planning on changing his plans.

“Oh but no immediate consequences? Or mention of anything to do with that?” he asks focussed on my words completely.

“Nope not at all but something else happened though.” and I’m hoping this is the right call. “Dylan came by yesterday” 

Eric jerks up “wait what, why?” he asks tense. 

I pull my legs under me on the bed and say “because he had time to think about everything and he had some questions for me.” I say shrugging, trying to make it seem less of a deal to him.

“What kind of questions?” Eric places his hands on his hips as he looks at me irritated that he can’t control this situation. 

“I’m not giving you any details because I don’t want to betray his trust but uhm he asked questions about what I knew about him and such and why I’m here” I lick my lips as he stands there. His eyes run over me checking out my cleavage which puts him off track for a second. One of the four red marks he left on me slightly visible. He pulls his eyes away and clears his throat. Clearly less agitated then before.

“Well I guess that’s understandable but still it’s weird.” he says as he walks back over to sit next to me but before he sits down he takes his hands out of his sides and places one in my neck leaning down as he places a soft kiss on my cheek, lingering making my eyes fall closed at the thought of yesterday. When he sits down he says “I’m sorry for the way I came in just now. Didn't mean to dump my shit on you” and I see the fear of rejection written all over him.

“Eric, you don’t have to apologise for anything. You can always talk to me or just come to me, you need to know that” and I smile at him with a tilted head. “You apologise so often, it’s not necessary at all with me and it’s a little annoying” I say teasing him a little.

“Oh I’m sorry” he says making quotation marks when he says sorry jokingly. 

I roll my eyes at him but tell him “I’m glad you came to me. Also I know what we’re gonna do” and I take my jacket off the chair.

“Really? And what is that exactly?” he says standing up.

“You’ll see. Come on let's go” 

Eric starts to smile and says “alright”. Together we leave in his car, I let him drive downtown and tell him where to park. After about 5 minutes walking we stop in front of a big store and Eric looks at me with disgust on his face. “Hell no, you have got to be kidding me” he says pointing at the store sign. I have the biggest smile on my face.

“I am absolutely not kidding you. I love these stores, there’s always something good to be found!” and while I’m getting all excited Eric is now pinching his eyebrows together with his arms crossed. “Come on Eric it will be fun I promise you” and I pull his arm and give him my signature pout, making Eric roll his eyes.

“Stop that right now” he says laughing “fine, we will go in but if it’s no fun you’ll have to make it up to me” he says with a devilish smirk on his face. I let go of his arm and walk to the door.

“You’re on but if it is fun, you owe me” I say self-assured when I walk into the thrift shop. Eric follows me unwanting. First we make a few rounds through the store. When we hit the section with the videotapes and cd’s that’s when Eric starts to loosen up to the store.

“Hey Event Horizon for 2 bucks” he says holding up the tape for me to see. “I’m so getting that”.

“I told you, there is always something.” and I keep browsing through the videotapes. 

“Yes well just because they have one good movie doesn’t make it fun.” he says when he stands next to me and I’m getting a bit heated going through the video’s.

“I forgot how annoying videotapes are, how will I ever have the patience to rewind everything” I say out loud making Eric look around him.

“Uhm hello we’re in public” he says close to my ear “and what the hell do you mean you forgot about videotapes? Where do they go?” big frown on his face. 

I can’t help but chuckle “We have Dvd’s and even that is starting to fade because we just stream movies legally and online” I say casually while looking at his face. Eric’s eyes are very small and he does not understand anything I’ve just said. So I explain “Dvd’s are like cd’s only there are movies on them. Streaming means watching movies straight off a server like on your xbox, playstation or just smart tv/cellphone.” he still looks lost.

“Wait so if I get this right video’s will turn into cd’s and after that I can just grab a controller and select a movie on an online server?” he’s leaning on the videorack looking at me with curious big eyes.

“Yes sir you got it. You’re a fast learner, I should just take you back home” I joke.

“What I can go with you?” he yells out making the cassiere look at us. I’m laughing a bit.

“Sssh” I motion with one finger against my lips “someone might hear” and I lick my lips which draws his attention to them at once. “I have no idea if you could come with me actually” and I start to walk towards the stairs to go up. Eric follows me close by.

“Okay I don’t mean to whine like a baby” and I interrupt him.

“But you’re gonna” 

“But I will, when does this fun of yours start?” and as we get up the stairs I look at all the clothes in front of us and open my arms saying “Taadaaah”.

“This is where the fun starts” and I walk over to the nearest pile of clothing.

“Oh you really are shitting me” and he comes to stand next to me. “You have lost it, let go of those nasty clothes” he says trying to pull a shirt from my hands, I start a playful tug-o-war with him before I let him have it.

“It’s not nasty, well I mean I wouldn’t buy underwear here but still it’s fine. The clothes are usually hilarious and sometimes you find something really awesome.” and I pick up a triangle bikini top “like this” and I wiggle my eyebrows. Eric lets out a sigh shaking his head. “Are you getting sick of me already?” and I throw the bikini top at his face which he dodges letting it fall to the floor. 

“Nope” Eric says looking at me his eyes begin to shine in the light as he sees me starting to twirl around and walk over to a section with long dresses, they are hideous, poofy sleeves and funky colors. I pull out a couple in my size and get a basket. When I see a horrible blue blouse with a floral pattern I put it in there to, on the hunt for yellow pants hoping I can find one. Eric just follows me around with his hands now in his pockets. I can’t believe it there’s a yellow pants way too big for me but that doesn’t matter. Only thing I need now is either a white tank top or t-shirt. Which are here in overload. Walking over to Eric I take his hand “Let’s go.” and I start to run to the back dragging him with me, the store is seriously huge and we’re the only ones up here. When we get to the fitting room I push Eric down on the chair.

“You wait here, the fun is about to begin” and I take my basket into the fitting room and start to undress. Putting on the clothes as quick as I can. 

“Are you seriously putting those clothes on?” Eric asks from his own little place of waiting.

“Uhm yes and you just wait. I say as I tuck in the shirt in the pants, somewhere along the way I found a black belt and I’m putting it through the belt loops. The blue blouse and I’m all done. “Okay Eric are you ready?” I ask him and I’m already having so much fun.

“Born ready” he says happy. In one swift movement I pull open the curtain and there I am, leaning against the side of the booth in yellow pants and a blue blouse. Eric’s eyes grow wide and he whips his hands up in front of his mouth laughing.

I walk over to Eric and right before him I place my feet a little apart and stick my hands in my sides. Eric looks at me with big eyes and an obvious big smile underneath his hands.

“Spank you, spank you very much” I say in my best Ace Ventura impression. Eric is now making the cutest laughing sounds.

“You look ridiculous, how do you even come up with this?” He says through his laughter. “Y/n Ventura” 

I start to laugh and turn around bending over slightly placing my hands on my butt, Eric looks at me amazed about how free I am around him.

“Now I want to ass you a question” wiggling my eyebrows making him laugh again while he shakes his head.

“You’re too much you know that? What must you ass me?” 

“Is this or is this not fun?” and I turn around to face him properly.

He looks to the side and licks his lips “I have to admit that this may be fun. a little”.

“And baby this is only the beginning” I say before walking back into the fitting room. I take my own stuff and throw it on the chair next to Eric. “You guard those while I show you my modeling skills” I say as I whip my hair back in a over dramatic way. He watches me walk back into the fitting room and I quickly change out of the Ace stuff and into a horrendous bright pink dress with a metallic blue belt around it. Without warning I throw open the curtain and stroll out of there like it’s a catwalk. Eric chews on his lips while he looks at me. The dress is awful and it doesn’t even fit, it’s too big making the weird sleeves fall down my shoulders. I twirl a bit and say “I’m so Gucci” making Eric laugh before I go back in to change into another dress. Soft green with a very busy floral print, it’s a long dress and again a little too big. When I step out Eric averts his eyes.

“That’s even worse then the one before this” he chuckles.

“Eric Harris insulting moms across the country since 81” and I keep wearing this dress while I go off to score more outfits.

“Yo you take that stuff off before you walk in there” Eric says when he catches up on me.

Looking at him as if I don’t understand I say “are you telling me to get naked?” making him sigh and hit his forehead.

“You know what I mean. Have some” he says a bit harsh but he doesn’t finish the sentence and I fill in.

“Shame, dignity, pride, common sense, water, bread, kisses or money?” and I dart around him looking in the clothing piles everywhere. 

“I’m not kissing you in that thing” he chuckles happy he didn’t have to finish that sentence.

I walk up to him with disbelieve on my face “really you won’t kiss me while I’m wearing this?”.

“No that was a lie I would but I prefer you put something on a little less horrendous” he admits smiling.

“Like this?” I ask holding up a purple spaghetti dress.

“Well it’s better then what you have on now but your own clothes would be best.” he says.

“Okay but who’s guarding my clothes? If someone walks away with them I’m buying this dress and have you take me out to eat somewhere.” I say hands on my hips.

“Hell no” he says while he quickly turns around to go get my clothes. In the meantime I’ve picked out at least 3 other outfits and I keep going as he comes back with my clothes in his hand.

“You pick me out something” I tell him “something awful please” Eric looks at me with a painful face before it lights up, an idea pops into his head but I crush his dreams before he can even try “no not the tiny bikini” and I wink at him before going back to the fitting room. 

“Y/n Hunter crusher of Eric’s dreams since” Eric says and I look back to look at him with a face that says please-finish-that-sentence. “Not 81” he says with a smile on his face but his eyes aren’t smiling and I can tell that was a confrontation for him. I smile back softly at him.

“Go find me something to wear while I change into something else” and I get in the room to change, kicking out all the clothes that where already in there out of the fitting room so I have more space. 

Thirty minutes later both our faces hurt from laughing, I’ve been wearing one ridiculous outfit after another, right now I’m wearing ripped jeans and a pink silk blouse tucked in but the pants is a little too tight. 

“That is my favorite so far” Eric says with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah I bet so” I tell him before getting back in the room for another outfit. The pile of clothes around Eric and the fitting rooms is huge and we’re enjoying this both so much. He even picked out a couple of horrible dresses for me. My second to last outfit is something that actually looked like an old wedding dress, at least it’s creme colored with poofy sleeves and beads everywhere. Coming out in this Eric doesn’t even try to hide his laughter.

“Jesus that is horrible. Please tell me that when you get married you’ll not be wearing a dress like that.” he says making puking motions.

“Are you saying you wanna see me at my wedding?” I ask him in fake shock. 

“Are you saying I’m not the groom?” he asks with a devilish smile on his face. My heart skips about 14 beats before I say.

“You stop joking like that silly” and I stick out my tongue at him. Eric now has a small sweet smile on his face and when I start to twirl around making the bottom of the dress flow beautifully. I miss the loving look on Eric’s face who looks at me in awe, watching my hair dance as I twirl around, a smile on my face and in this moment his heart beats only for me.

I stop in my track and I wobble on my feet “whoo dizzy” I say trying to balance myself again. After a minute or so I say “alright I’m okay again. Now onto my last outfit of this freak fashion show.” and I look at Eric who looked distracted as if he was caught up in his own world completely. 

“No stop no more, I can’t handle it anymore. This was enough” he says laughing making a big X with his arms.

“Eric believe me when I say you want to see me in this last dress.” and I smirk at him, he has no idea.

“Okay fine woman. There is no stopping you” he says semi annoyed.

Getting into the fitting room I look at the dress that hangs in front of me, I know what I’m doing and I’m enjoying the anticipation to see his face way too much. When I’m in the dress I look at myself in the mirror, I had to take off my bra in order for the dress to look best and I know for a fact I’m about to make Eric a very happy guy. “Eric?” I ask.

“Sorry Eric ran out of the store, this is the manager can you please put all these clothes back where they belong?” Eric jokes. 

“Well mr manager I guess Eric will just have to miss out on this.” and I open the curtain and as soon as Eric lays eyes on me he stands up. Dropping the video on the floor. He looks over at me from head to bottom, lingering in the right places. I’m wearing a black tight spaghetti-strap velvet dress showing off my legs and cleavage, even the marks he left on me are visible. I walk up to him and stop right in front of him. I bite on my lip as I look down on myself. It takes him a while to speak but when he does my whole body reacts to his words.

“Wow you look” and he licks his lips “stunning and your” and he motions with his hands up and down “is the best I’ve ever seen” he lets out a nervous chuckle before he dares to look at my face. “Damn I’m speechless” he adds. I can’t help but smile like an idiot and I place my hair behind my ear. I’m turning shy all of a sudden, I didn't expect that.

“So I guess you like it?” I ask him looking down. He’s frozen solid to the floor in front of me. 

“I’m thinking liking it doesn’t even begin to cover it.” When he says that I look up to see his eyes are still going over me. 

“You’re making me blush Harris” I manage to say smiling. 

“Good.” he says smiling at me now “because you have no idea what you’re doing to me” and he finally steps closer to me only to get his foot stuck in some clothes on the floor making me chuckle. I pull him out of the clothes and take a few steps back so we’re out of the clothes and he too laughs. “That was not how that was suppose to go” he says still smiling. 

“No? How was that supposed to go?” I ask him knowing full well where this moment is leading us to.

“Well I was suppose to walk closer to you like this.” he says while getting so close to me I forget how to breath all together. “And then I wanted to do this very smoothly you see” and then he places his hands on my hips, his thumbs against my hip bones. His face moving in closer to me, slowly until his lips touch mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips against his before I let him deepen the kiss when he takes in my bottom lip, sucking on it before he lets his tongue roam free again. My hands in his hair and his are now up on the sides of my waist. He breaks the kiss to look into my eyes, his pupils are so big his eyes almost look black. “You make it impossible for me to stay away from you do you know that?” and he gives me another kiss. My mind is racing, what does he mean, literally or that he wants to touch me or both even. I’m too afraid to ask him, I’m so scared to push him away.

“You don’t have to you know” I say looking at him hoping his answer will give me a little more clarity about the matter. He doesn’t say anything he just looks at me and down to my body. That didn't help me at all.

“You’re not wearing a bra” he blurts out his eyes enormous. Making me chuckle. “Sorry, sorry about that” he says rubbing the back of his neck as he creates more space between us. He grabs a load of clothes before he says “we should start to clean this up” and he throws it in the the first rack. 

“Are you just gonna talk right over it?” I ask him amused over what he said. 

“Yep and you should go change.” he says not looking at me. I turn around to get into the fitting room when I see him looking at me in the mirror. His eyes dart over me and then he does something. He places his hand over his heart and chest, rubbing there like he did when he spoke about the connection. Quickly I walk into the room and close the curtain behind me. Closing my eyes I quickly slip out of the dress.

“Throw the dress out I’ll put it away with the rest of the stuff” Eric says and I think nothing of it so I chuck it out and get dressed. Stepping out I see Eric did most of the clean up leaving just a few items that were close to the fitting room but I do not see Eric. Picking up the last few items I imagine Eric went to pay for the video he found. Walking down the stairs I see him standing in front of the door with a white bag in his hand. “Let’s go to one of my favorite stores” he says smiling and I follow him. 

After a few minutes we get to a record store where he opens the door for me. Walking in I get hit with a wave of nostalgia, there are hardly any record stores like this left. I look around and take it all in. When I look over at Eric he does not look amused. He takes a step closer to me and says “If you’re gonna tell me these don’t exist either I will freak out” and he lets out a nervous chuckle. 

“I’m just going to not talk then” and I give him an apologetic smile. 

“Are you serious?” he asks me.

“Well there were tapes before cd’s so is it really that weird if you think about it?” and he does he thinks about it, his eyes become small and bitter.

“If you put it like that but what do you put in the car stereo then?” he asks as if there’s nothing more important then this when it comes to cd’s.

“I just link my phone to the car and open Spotify” I suck my lips in while I look at his face trying not to laugh.

“That was Chinese what you just said. I’m going that way now” and he laughs before walking to his favorite section, at least that’s what I imagine it is cause he a-lines for it. I go the other way and look at all the cd’s. Names that by now don’t release music anymore, artists that have passed away are now on these shelves sold as the current hits. It’s quite confrontational and I’m glad I was still young when these stores disappeared. I see Eric standing there and I walk over to him. I stand next to him just looking at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he says while he keeps doing what he does.

“So many different reasons” I tell him smiling.

“Tell me some of them or all if you want” his finger sliding over the CD’s. 

“Well because I can, because I want to, you were looking at me before so why not?” 

“Yeah but you were trying out clothes and showing them to me. That’s different, I’m just standing here.” he tells me.

“Okay true, hmm another reason lets see. I like to look at you” I say to him and I see the corner of his mouth curl up.

“And you look like you’re enjoying yourself which makes it a million times more fun to look at you” 

“I am enjoying myself, this day turned out pretty good even though it started shitty” he says looking at me.

“Yeah you see Eric that’s the thing, sometimes it's a shit moment that ruins the whole day, but we have to keep in mind that we run the show and make sure that doesn’t happen.” 

“Is this therapy I walked into or a record store?” Eric asks cynically. Which kinda stings a little bit.

“If this was therapy you would be laying on my beautiful red sofa and I would be wearing one of those tight skirts with a blouse tucked in and a blazer over it with my hair in a high tight ponytail. But we’re just standing here having a good time so I’m guessing it’s just a friendly comment from someone I think you may even like a little in a record store.” and I shrug while I look at him.

Eric’s eyes turn a little softer when he says “I’m sorry I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh. It just felt a little like a lecture on how to behave or something” he explains to me.

“I really just meant it as advice you know because I hated seeing you like that when you knocked on the door.” I tell him.

“I know and that’s why I said I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, thank you.” I say knowing this does not fall under the apologising too much category. He smiles timidly.

“You got it wrong though” he says and he turns back to browse a little more.

“What did I get wrong?” thinking he meant something in my advice. 

“I don’t like you just a little” he says eyes straight forward.

“No you like me a lotl?” I ask and he turns to look at me.

“A what now?”

“Lotl, it’s like a little only a lot” and I smile.

“Lotl, a lotl.” he repeats “yeah something like that” he says.

“Ok good but can we go now” and his head jerks up.

“We just got here” he says.

“Yeah but I’m bored” I say.

“I’ve watched you put on outfits for centuries and you’re bored already?” he says with a chuckle.

“Alright you’re right, browse some more. I’m sorry” I tell him and I lean against him with my hands on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” he asks as I pull him down slightly.

“I’m watching you browse” I whisper in his ear.

“Oh my god are you gonna be like this the entire time?” he says annoyed. 

“No” I whisper “soon I’m gonna pout too” making him laugh. 

“I can’t believe you, you know that. Aged like a grandmother but behaving like a toddler” and he shakes his head while he nods for me to move.

“Takes one to know one” I sing. “Can we go get ice cream?” 

“Toddler I tell you but I have to go for dinner soon and I have to work” he says while he places his hand on my back to guide me out of the store.

“Oh yeah that’s right, guess I’ll see you tomorrow then” and we walk back to his car. In the car Eric looks at his stereo.

“Okay explain what the hell happens to car stereo’s please?” he asks before leaving the parking place.

“Well everything is just digital, we use bluetooth to connect our phones” he interrupts me.

“The small computer right” 

“Right” I chuckle “and then we just play music like that.” Eric just shakes his head and starts the car. We arrive at my motel and instead of waving me bye in the car he gets out with me. Opening my door he even walks in with me. 

Before I can ask or say anything Eric says “I had a really good time today even though I felt bad before coming here.” 

“That’s good.” I say and he walks closer to me. Stretching out his arms he locks me in them. 

“I think I agree” and he hugs me really tight. I hold onto him with all I have and nuzzle his neck. Placing a small kiss there. “Hey you stop that” he says and I feel his mouth turn into a smile against my own neck. 

“Or else?” I ask daring.

“Or else I’m going to miss dinner and work” his voice hot-blooded without a hint of hesitation. Making me swallow hard “Okay” I say softly, wanting him to stay but knowing he has to leave. He pulls his head back and looks at me. He kisses my cheek not once but twice before he brushes against my nose with his and kisses me for the second time that day only short and passionate. When he pulls back he has that trademark lopsided smile on his face.

“I can’t even begin to tell you what it does to me or how it makes me feel that I can kiss you like this” he tells me.

“Why don’t you think it over and let me know when you can. And also one more” I say before kissing his soft plump lips shortly. He pulls away and a soft hum leaves his lips.

“You were right today has been fun. So I owed you, here. Open it when I’m gone” he says giving me the plastic bag.

“Eric that was just a joke” but he doesn’t want to hear it and walks over to the door. 

“I will see you tomorrow gorgeous” 

“Definitely” I say in return waving at him before he closes the door. And the second he does I open the bag and in it are the blue floral blouse from my Ventura act and the black dress. I start to smile like an idiot and sit down on my bed already anticipating the next second we meet.

Still in front of her motel room he sits in his car with a big smile on his face thinking about today, about her. She made him feel so good after he had that argument with Dylan at school. Completely changed his mood. She tears his heart apart between wanting to take all his pain out on the world making them all hurt the way he did and wanting to have a life free of all this pain beyond high school and who knew maybe there was a way for them to be together. He was scared shitless she would go away, what if he doesn’t go NBK and she had to leave he couldn’t cope he just couldn’t lose her, not her. Too afraid to ask her, afraid the answer is as he fears. He lets his head fall back and closes his eyes immediately she stand in front of him in that dress, braless her breast so fucking perfect in that velvet dress. All he wanted to do was push her into that fitting room and feel her like before and even more. “Goddamn” he whispers. And when she was twirling around in that one dress that looked like a wedding dress. Opening his eyes he knew he had to go but when he looked into the rearview mirror and into his own eyes he knew. He loved her and if there was a way for them to be together he swore to himself he would tell her. 


	13. An apple, banana and a Snickers bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support, it really means the world to me! Hope you all enjoy this chapter, as always let me know.

It was almost lunch time at Columbine high school. Making my way through the kids I wanted to wait for Eric outside of the classroom to surprise him there. Waiting right across from the door. The bell rings and not long after kids start to come out off all the classrooms, reminding me of how much I disliked walking in the crowded halls of my high school. The door to Eric’s classroom opens and kids come out, all unfamiliar faces but then Mike comes out who spots me immediately.

“Yo Eric your girlfriend is here” he yells back over his shoulder making me flip him off. Eric comes out of the room with a sceptical look on his face but when he sees me joy spreads all over his face. I stay where I am not wanting to get through all the kids but as soon as the herd gets less dense I make my way over to them. 

“Hey Eric” I say looking at him, turning my head to face Mike I just shake my head. Making Eric smile.

“Hey I thought I was coming to you after school.” he says.

“Yes you are but I was bored so I figured I’d crash your lunchtime, is that okay?” I ask him even though I know full well it is.

“Of course it is.” he says happily.

“Good I didn't bring anything with me though so I’ll need to buy something in the cafeteria” and Eric and Mike look at each other.

“Sure only the best things are served in this school” Mike tells me and I look at Eric.

“That’s not true is it?” I ask Eric. Who just shakes his head no. “Oh great, well let's see what they do have” and I want to turn around but Mike and Eric first need to stop by their locker for their food. Every single person who asks who I am gets the same answer from Mike.

“This is Eric’s girlfriend” and everytime he gives them another name. Mallory, Laura, Amy and so on. Eric and I don’t even protest and if they want to shake my hand I give them the name Mike gave them. Getting to Eric’s locker he opens it and I see there’s not a single picture in there. 

“Hey no pictures?” I ask him. 

“God no” he says getting his bag. 

“Not even a picture of me?” I ask him pretending to be displeased.

“Do I have a picture of you?” he retorts. 

“More importantly, do I have a picture of you?” Mike asks me. Eric is really not amused with this guy. 

“You made me go on a pretend date with you, you get nothing” I say pointing a finger in his face. 

“Why are you always so negative. Look at it from this perspective, free food” Mike says eyes wild looking like he’s on drugs or something. 

“Kiss my ass Mike” I say looking at Eric who’s laughing now.

“Yeah I would, believe me but Eric is a problem so please keep your ass away from me” and he starts to walk towards the cafeteria. Eric visible getting aggravated with him so I take his hand and squeeze it before letting go again. Then a girl I recognise comes our way. She starts to wave at Eric who waves back. When she’s close she looks at me and Mike again says.

“That’s Ingrid, Eric’s girlfriend from Germany. She doesn’t speak any English so it doesn’t really matter what you say to her look” and he stands in front of me winking at me before he says in the sweetest tone of voice “hello dumbass” and I kinda like how he comes up with this stuff so I wave back and say.

“Guten tag schwanz” and I smile wide. Eric besides me start to laugh really hard. Mike squints his eyes at me before turning to her saying “see”.

She sticks out her hand “hi I’m Brandi, are you really Eric’s girlfriend?” I think she didn't get the memo of me not speaking English. 

“Ich bin Ingrid, wie geht est dir?” I say pretending I don’t understand her.

“What did she say Eric?” Brandi asks and Eric gives her a wrong translation.

“She said she doesn’t understand you” and he smiles at me. I’m biting my lips while I smile at them all.

“Okay but why would you want a girlfriend if she doesn’t even speaks English?” Brandi asks Eric confused. Mike answers this time.

“Because she gives the best head” making it very difficult for me not to respond and Eric pretends to be angry.

“Fucking hell Mike, I told you that in private. Don’t go around telling people” oooh those two are really happy with themselves.

I just smile at Brandi and her friend who both have the fakest of smiles on their faces. When they walk away they don’t even bother waiting till they’re out of ear range. 

“Ew what a slut, what does he see in her anyways” the other girl asks Brandi who says “right, I don’t even know “

Mike is laughing so hard I can see what he had for breakfast yesterday. Walking over to him I hit him on the chest really hard. Making him cough. Then I turn to Eric who’s eyes become big. 

“You told him that in private? You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone.” Mike is lost for breath and Eric’s eyes are twice their normal size with a small grin on his face. 

“I’m going to get some food you two are unbelievable” I turn around laughing and behind me I hear Mike trying to whisper.

“She gave you head dude what the fuck. How the fuck did you get her to do that?” Eric starts to laugh so hard. 

“Dude, she just made sure she was the last to laugh” Eric tells his friend.

“And that’s how it’s done” I say looking back at them. Then before we hit the cafeteria a group of jocks come out way, besides me Eric and Mike stop laughing and one of the jocks looks my way and gets the attention of his friends. “Oh fuck” I whisper as they come our way. Eric besides me doesn’t move or says anything.

“Well hello gorgeous, are you lost?” one of the guys asks me.

“No, why?” I ask alarmed over how this will go down.

“Because you’re walking between fag one and two” making his jock buddies laugh. I just roll my eyes at him.

“Oh wow look at me big bad jock calling people fags because my daddy doesn’t love me” I say to him with one brow raised and my face as cold as ice.

“Excuse me?” he asks.

“Did I stutter?” and I cross my arms.

“Ey what the fuck is wrong with you?” he says straightening his back.

“Ah what’s the matter you don’t like it when people insult you? Is the big bad jock the only one who can do that?” I say with a pout. Besides me Eric and Mike are shocked and a little fearful where this will lead to. 

“The fuck is your problem bitch, can’t handle a compliment from a real man?” he says and his buddies behind him go like ooooh and wooo. 

“What I’m sorry did you just say real man? Don’t you mean bullying asshole?” and he takes another step closer to me. I stand up straight and look him dead in the eye.

“You’re lucky I don’t hit girls” and he spits before my feet “but continue like that and I’ll make an exception” 

“Well I do hit girls, so get the fuck away from me before I make your nose bleed!” and with my big mouth I think it’s my saviour that the principal comes walking right around the corner because they all back off and start walking towards wherever they needed to go. The guy that I had a standoff with looks at me with fire in his eyes before he also turns around.

I pull Eric and Mike by their arms as I make a way towards the cafeteria. “Jesus fucking christ that was epic” Mike says breathless when I let their arms go.

“Are you fucking suicidal?” a less amused Eric asks me. I turn to look at him and he’s pissed.

“No I’m just not gonna let him talk to me like that. I have zero tolerance for bullies” I say furious with them still.

“Yeah and what if they come back for you. What then huh?” Eric says angrily but there’s also something else in his voice. “You know never mind, lets go get you something to eat before you eat someone” Eric says trying to joke.

“I don’t care how dead she is that was awesome. Man what a rush and I didn't even open my mouth” Mike continues. I hit him in the arm and point to Eric.

“Get the hint dude, he’s not happy. Leave it” I tell him.

“Sour Sidney’s, can’t even enjoy a movie moment like that” that made me chuckle and Eric manages to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes at all. We walk over to the food and what I see is disgusting me. All kind of sloppy and fat foods. 

“That is nasty” I say loudly. I see a bowl of fruit and decide to get an apple, a banana and a snickers bar. We walk over to an empty table and I start with the apple, Mike and Eric get their lunch from their bags. After I finish the apple we start to talk again but the mood doesn’t get any better.

“I can’t believe Dylan is still not here. He usually skips morning or the afternoon not the whole day” Mike says carelessly and I look over at Eric who is giving Mike a very dirty look. 

“Maybe he’s sick and not skipping” I say opening my banana.

“Nah Eric and Dylan had an argument yesterday and he left school right after. I thought he’d be back today but I guess I was wrong.” Mike says digging in to his second sandwich.

I look at Eric and see that he did not want me to know that. He’s even more angry then before. His eyes are so dark and all the comments I read about people who said Eric looked scary or intimidating are crossing my mind. Eric catches me staring.

Almost hostile he says “what, it’s nothing, leave it” and when he sees my offended reaction to his words he adds “please”. Now is not the time or place to even think about asking what happened so I just nodd. Letting it be like he asked. For now. After that Eric was extremely distant and the conversation felt labored. Well except for Mike who went on and on. At one point he talked about a job that was lined up for him after graduation. That’s when Eric first said something again.

“Mcdonalds doesn’t count” he says while drinking from a bottle of water. Mike just flips him the bird and continues talking like before. At one point I just interrupt him.

“Okay Mike do you ever stop talking?” I ask him opening my snickers bar. He looks at me and to Eric who seems to be getting out of his bad mood a little. 

“Why so mean huh, I swear if you two ever do get together I’m moving to another continent.” He says and Eric and I look at each other and I put on a questioning pout.

“Consider us together then, right y/n? “ Eric says.

“Definitely, goodbye Mike” and I start to wave at him.

“Seriously you two are a couple made in hell” and he is making it look like he’s packing a suitcase “I’m leaving the continent, on my way to Texas” making me laugh.

“Are you gonna tell him or should I?” I ask Eric who is now smiling.

“That was a joke, jesus you’re just like him. What are you two soulmates or something?” and that comment hits me in the guts. 

“Dude cut it out besides I don’t even believe in soulmates” Eric delivers a second blow. I look down on my snickers and take a bite so I don’t have to talk. Eric sees someone in the distance and says.

“Sorry I have to talk to him for a second, I’ll be back soon okay” he says to me without even looking my way. He gets up and leaves.

“Well finally the two of us alone together” Mike says wiggling his eyebrows.

“Mike what are you doing this Friday?” I ask him quickly.

“If you’re asking me out, I swear I want to, I feel the connection but I have to decline because Eric will skin me alive” he says grabbing my hands pretending to be torn with feelings.

“Dude what the hell is wrong with you? It’s Eric’s birthday and I want to plan a surprise party for him but I need help.” I say leaning in to him a little. 

“You insult me and then ask for my help? You really are Eric’s bride from hell.” and he crosses his arms “what kind of help and what’s in it for me?” he asks cheekily.

“I need you to invite Robyn, Erik and Dylan for me. Also give Robyn this please” and I pull a piece of paper with my address and the front desk number on it out of my pants pocket “please ask her to meet me here, let her call on this number to leave me a message if she can make it tomorrow or the day after” he takes the paper from my hand. 

“Okay I think I can do that, I see Robyn after school anyway but the big question here is what is in it for me?” and I drop my face in my hands sighing really loud making Mike snicker.

“If you help me I will answer 2 dirty questions you have for me.” I look at him and he sees potential in this deal.

“Damn that’s a deal lady. Heads up you groom is on his way” I roll my eyes at him.

“So was he awful when I was away?” Eric asks me as he sits back down.

“Horrendous” I say and Mike sticks up three fingers but I flip him off with both hands showing him it’s still two questions.

“What is going on?” Eric asks looking at Mike holding up three fingers and me with my middle fingers up. 

“Nothing Mike just wants to get hit in the head with a chair.” I say smirking.

“And give me a concussion, no thanks” Mike says.

“Don’t worry you can get hit in the head as many times as you wish you won’t get a concussion” I tell him.

“How do you know?” Mike asks and before I can answer Eric does so for me.

“Because you need a brain for that dumbass” 

“Thank you” I say looking at Eric. Insulted Mike gets up and walks away without saying another word.

As he does I feel like a weight drops on my shoulders. Suddenly I do not feel comfortable with Eric alone.  _ I don’t even believe in soulmates  _ rings through my head. Making it hard to breath and then I’m not even thinking about his falling out with Dylan.

“I should go” I say to Eric and I get up. He does so too.

“Shall I walk you to your motel?” he asks looking at his watch. I know time is short for him giving me the perfect excuse to say.

“No don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine.” sucking in my lips as I say so. 

Any other day I’m sure Eric wouldn’t let me go alone but today he simply says “Okay. I’m still seeing you after school right?” he asks.

“Yeah of course” I say nodding before I turn around to get out of this place as soon as I can. Looking back I see Eric still looking at me and he waves at me, I do the same and when I’m sure he can’t see me I start to speed walk to my motel. Back at the motel I get in as fast as I can. Letting my hands run into my hair trying to calm myself down. Nothing happened really. It’s just the fact that he didn't want to tell me about Dylan and him not believing in soulmates just really messed with my head. Also those fucking jocks and Eric’s reaction, was he mad at me for standing my ground? It was all so confusing. Why didn't he want to tell me about Dylan? What happened, why did they get into an argument and was it in front of others or in private? Not knowing the reason was really screwing with me. What if I was the reason, What if Dylan said something to Eric? No that’s unlikely, I hope. A million other questions run through my mind. I need to calm myself down. So I begin with sitting on the floor with my back against the bed. I stretch my legs out and pull them in again. I try to focus on my breath, which will never happen if I keep them pressed together this stiffly. Blowing out a big breath I tell myself over and over again that I can’t control what happens all of the time but that I’m always in charge of how I react to those things. Keeping that in mind I try to shift my focus from my breath to how I can best respond to Eric not wanting to talk to me about Dylan. That’s more important than the whole not believing in soulmate comment.

I get up to get my notebook and pen down every possibility I can think of. From it not being related to this at all, to it being about NBK or just about me. Knowing I still have two whole classes to fill before Eric can come this way I take my time exploring all possibilities. When I can no longer think about it for various reasons I decide to take my phone out of the bag and Eric’s sweater. Putting that on and putting my phone in the charger while I lay on my side going through the photos I see the one picture Eric made of me. It feels like an eternity ago while in reality it's closer to yesterday. Holding my phone I close my eyes and think of everyone back home. Before I know it I fell asleep. 

There’s a hand on my face, I feel fingers tracing lines over it and going up to my hair, I’m internally freaking out how is that possible I’m alone. Scared I jerk up making Eric jump up from the bed.

“Oh I’m so sorry I didn't mean to wake you.” he says feeling guilty walking backwards a few steps. 

“Oh my god. Eric you didn't just wake me you scared the shit out of me. How did you get in?” I ask him frantically looking around me but the phone was on the nightstand and when I go to check the bag everything seems to still be there. Closing my eyes thankfully I turn back to Eric. 

“The door was open I guess but just a little because it opened when I knocked on the door so I don’t think anyone else noticed.” he says a little too timid.

“Okay, how long have you been here?” I ask him very aware I’m wearing his sweater. 

“Uhm not too long” he says but his eyes betray him. I look at the clock and see it’s already half an hour past the time his last bell rang. He follows my eyes. “Well uhm maybe I’ve been looking at you for a few minutes” he says sucking in his lips while he looks at the floor. When he looks back up he’s a lot more serious. “Listen I’m sorry, what I said after the jocks and I didn't want you to know about Dylan but then Mike blurting it out like that and I got so frustrated and when that happens I can’t act normal anymore and it takes a little while before I can get out of that mood. I don’t know I’m just fucked up that way. I didn't mean to freeze you out and I definitely didn't like the way we parted, I’m so sorry” he says staring at his shoes.

“Eric.” and as I walk over to him he looks up so our eyes can meet. 

“I know it’s easier said than done but you can just talk to me. Tell me you don’t want to talk about Dylan and I won’t push you or anything. Let me know what bothered you with those asshole jocks. Instead of getting angry. I’m not going anywhere.” I smile as I tell him that last part. Eric says nothing he just looks at me with kind and soft eyes. He looks at the phone and walks to it.

“Could I watch a movie on this?” he asks talking over everything I just said. 

“Well in 2020 yes, 1999 not so much.” 

“Too bad.” he says and he makes sure I know he doesn’t want to talk about anything when he says “would you like to go get some ice cream?” 

“Sure, sounds good. Let me go change” I say. “Oh wait I almost forgot. Thank you for the Ventura blouse and dress. I can’t believe I forgot to say that earlier.” 

“You’re welcome and don’t worry about not saying it earlier.” and he sounds so genuine and sweet but then he turns cheeky “do you need some help changing into something else?” he asks with a big smile on his face. I sigh loudly and take a shirt from the drawer and go into the bathroom to change. When I get back out of it I see Eric still with the phone in his hand, putting it back quickly when he sees me.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Nothing. Let’s go” and he gets up from the bed.

“Harris, did you do something with my phone? I ask smiling. 

His cheeks get a little red “maybe”.

“What did you do?” and I walk over to my phone and see the camera still on. “Did you take a picture?” I ask him before unlocking my phone.

“I didn't mean to. I was just trying to figure that thing out. Where is the picture? Can I see?” he comes to look over my shoulder. 

“It’s right here” and I open the photos and start to laugh, a very serious looking Eric with a frown on his face is shown in a blurry picture. 

“Jesus” Eric says stretching the word “delete that please” he says and I start to laugh.

“Hell no, that’s hilarious.” I say even though I know I have to delete it.

“You delete that right now” he orders. 

“No” I say defiantly “what are you gonna do about it?” 

“Listen woman I’m not afraid to tackle you down.” he says pointing a finger at me.

“No you wouldn’t” and I place the phone down, Eric takes a step forward.

“You delete that or else” he says threatening me. I can’t help but laugh because he’s trying to look all tough but he’s failing because he needs to laugh as well. “That’s it, you’re going down.” and he charges at me, pushing me down on the bed. I shriek as he does but he loses balance and he lands next to me. “Delete it I said” he says getting up on his elbows getting ready to tickle me.

“Harris don’t you dare, I hate being tickled” I say threatening him as he hovers besides me his hand in my side.

“You know what you have to do then” cocky look on his face. I grab his hand and try to push him aside but he’s stronger then he looks and very determined. I try to get up but he tickles me shortly making me fall back. “Delete that picture, last chance” he says looking at me. 

I huff and say “fine, fine let me get the phone then.” and he lets me sit up straight but he’s cautious and in one move I get up to run for it but he grabs me by the waist and pulls me back down.

“I don’t think so smarty pants” he says as he twirls us around on the bed. I push him back and get up but then he stops moving. Afraid he had hurt himself or something I look down. Only then do I notice I’m straddling him and that’s what stopped him. He looks up at me with admiring eyes. Trying to keep tension at bay I tell him.

“Who’s in charge now huh, I’m Nahla” I say wiggling my eyebrows. Eric gets up and grabs my waist, rolling us over so swiftly you’d think he did this a million times before. Climbing up a bit so his face is right above mine. 

“I don’t know who Nahla is but I do know who’s in charge.” he says with a smirk looking me over. My hair is all over the place and he starts to get all the strands out of my face, placing the last one behind my ear he keeps his hand on my cheek. Caressing the skin with his thumb. Tension ten folds per second. 

“Nahla is the queen in The Lion King” I tell him my voice already beginning to shake. His eyes look hungry, for me, to feel me. He traces my lips with his thumb and his eyes close for a second as he does so. 

“If you’re the queen does that make me the king?” he asks and I’m not sure if he’s joking or even if I should answer at all. He leans down and kisses me flighty, first kiss of the day. “Hmm well?” he wants an answer. I’m still a little confused.

“You tell me? Are you?” and I let my hand run up to his face. He looks at me with a smile and places another kiss op my lips only this time he takes my bottom lip in between his, letting his tongue taste me once more before pulling back.

“I’m thinking maybe I could be” and he adjusts himself boldy in between my legs supporting himself on one arm the other hand still on my face. Leaning down, this time with his whole body against me. His hand goes down to the hem of my shirt and he lets his fingers slip underneath the fabric. I feel him harden against me already. His hand is warm and electricity runs through his fingers. His lips find their way into my neck as he begins to slowly move his hand upwards. 

“Eric” I say trying not to moan at him touch.

“Hmm” his voice vibrates against my neck.

“We were going for ice cream remember” I say running my hand through his hair. 

“No I don’t remember” he says smiling against the skin and his hand is now almost where he craves to be, I need to stop him before we take this too far.

“Eric please” but as soon as his hand cups me I let out a moan. He reacts by closing his fingers over my breast, kneading and a deep grunt escapes his lips making me burn for more. “Eric we should stop” I say while biting my lip, Eric stops what he’s doing and looks at my face. Eric is breathing so heavy I can see his chest going up and down in an unsteady pace. 

“Please tell me you’re joking” and he kisses me again to which I respond eagerly with my lips.

“I wish I was believe me” and he takes his hand from under my shirt “I’m sorry I just haven’t heard anything yet from the last time.” and I close my eyes at the thought of him in my hand.

“You mean when we were on my bed” a huge grin on his face.

“Yes and I think I should wait for whatever comes out of their decision” I say with a coy smile.

“You’re right, I’m sorry I completely lost myself here. I shouldn’t have” and I interrupt him with a kiss. 

“Stop trying to take all the blame leave some for me will you” I say smiling after I break the kiss.

“Suit yourself, actually it’s all your fault” he says getting up and pulling me on my feet with him.

“Really now? I ask him while he laces our fingers together and pulls me in.

“Yes” he says really close to my face, letting my hands go and daringly placing one hand on my ass the other around my waist. “You drive me mad” his voice low and lustful “especially since you seem to want this as much as I do.” 

“What in the world gave you that idea?” and I kiss him before pulling his arms off of me.

“Yeah nothing solid really, just going on a hunch here” he says with that lopsided smile on his face. I’m grabbing my jacket and bag before I open the door for us. 

“We need to leave this room right now” and he walks out of there with the biggest smile on his lips. We get into his car and when the doors are closed he sighs loudly.

“What?” I ask looking at him and he just smiles while leaning in.

“One more” he says before placing the sweetest kiss on my lips.

“Start driving Harris” I say smiling against his lips as he lingers.

“Have I told you that I really like you calling me Harris?” he says and I think about it but soon realize he hasn’t.

“No not yet” and I close my eyes leaning my head back. Eric starts the car.

“Well I do.” and I hear him shift in his seat and before I can turn to look I feel his lips on mine again. “Sorry I couldn’t resist” and his cheeks turn red. He looks really embarrassed. This time I lean into him and when he turns to look at me I kiss him, holding the back of his head so he can’t go anywhere until I want him to. Letting go he looks at me a little shocked at how dearly I kissed him. This is the first time we’ve kissed so freely outside of hello, goodbye and a single moment’s kiss. I adore this change with everything I have in me. 

“Don’t apologise for kissing me. If there is something you need to apologise for it’s for taking so long to get me to the ice cream shop.” and we smile as we look at each other.

“Yes ma’am” he says feeling valued before starting the car and finally getting me to my ice cream. After he parks the car we get into the shop and I look at all the flavors and I bite my lip unable to choose.

“I’m going to need at least 3 scoops” I say to myself more than anyone else.

“Pssh I’m going bankrupt with you.” Eric says drawing his wallet from his right pants pocket. 

“I knew I should have gotten myself a sugar daddy.” I say shaking my head. 

Eric looks dismayed “don’t say something like that. That’s disgusting woman. Just pick your flavors.” but he smiles.

Looking at the lady with all the ice cream powers in hand I say “one cookie dough, one stracciatella and one hazelnut please.”

“In a cup or cone?” she asks.

“Cone please” I say smiling and I want to pay her for my ice cream.

“What are you doing?” Eric asks me looking at my hand.

“I’m paying her for my ice cream.” and I hand her the money. “Relax you can buy me a pony later” I say smiling at his offended face. Eric gets two scoops of cookie dough in a cup. Together with our ice cream we walk over to a table. Eric draws my seat back for me and sits across from me. 

“Hmm I love ice cream, and ice cream loves me too” I say starting with the stracciatella. 

“Let's do that question for a question thing” Eric asks in between bites.

“Why do you dislike me paying for myself?” I ask him immediately.

“Because I’m old fashioned that way. I like to, you know” he says shrugging.

“Like to what?” I ask.

“Your question is up” he says quickly. “Do you sometimes regret coming here?” he asks serious. I look at him, his seriousness overwhelms me. 

“No” I say locking eyes with him. “The only way I’ll regret it is if you go through with it” and I look at my ice cream. “Are you glad I came?”.

Eric thinks about it and continues to be very serious “I am really glad you did but it’s also very difficult. I mean I was on a certain path and now I’m all confused.” taking another bite out of his cookie dough. “Can you tell me what the connection is already?” he looks up at me with soft questioning eyes.

“No but I promise if I can without consequences I will.” and I scoop up the first bite of the hazelnut. 

“Thank you” Eric says grateful.

“You’re welcome. Next question, was I a reason for the argument with Dylan?” I ask him hoping he won’t get upset.

“Indirectly, Dylan is angry at me” he says shortly and I decide to leave it for now. “What is your favorite ice cream flavor?” he asks to change the subject completely.

“Mint chocolate chip, and yours is cookie dough” I say and his reaction is beautiful.

“Stop saying things like that, it creeps me out. I actually thought you stopped doing it” he says cringing. 

I love his reaction “okay okay, I’m sorry. What do you want for your birthday?” a sweet smile on my face.

“My instinct tells me to say something dirty but the fact that I’m not Mike stops me” he says laughing when he sees the shock on my face. “Just thought you should know” smirk on his face

“Well then since you’re not Mike, what is your answer?” I ask him.

He bites his lip still laughing. “I’m not sure what to ask, you can give me whatever you like and it’s fine.” he says.

“Can I take you to the movie?” I ask trying to create a way to get him to come to my place at a certain time. 

He thinks about it and says “sure, I kinda said I’d meet Dylan at the bowling alley but I can do that after the movie” he’s smiling. 

“Good that’s settled then I’ll let you know when you can pick me up.” and I finish my ice cream, Eric was already finished. I pull Eric’s arm that has his watch on it closer and look at the time. “You need to go have dinner, you don’t want to be late for work” I say getting up.

“Don’t do that” Eric says a little heated. 

“Too late I already did” and I smirk at him. 

“You’re horrible” he says laughing. He walks closer to me and places his arm around my shoulders as we walk outside. Before we enter the car he stops me turning me so he looks directly into my eyes. Without hesitation he says “When you stood up to those bullies, I was scared. They could have really hurt you and that scared me but also pissed me off because I can’t protect you from them. I’m too weak so I got angry at myself and at them. You were fearless and I was scared, that made me feel so humiliated. And I lashed out to you making me feel worse and then I closed up, that's why I acted the way I did. I just want you to know this” Eric looks so frustrated and vulnerable. 

“Eric” I say almost whispering before hugging him as tight as I can. “You’re not weak” I tell him before letting go. “They are a bunch of freaks of nature. That’s nothing to do with you, it’s all them. Also I wasn’t fearless, I was lucky the principle came walking around the corner” and I chuckle. “Listen I get the frustration but you need to understand that after high school those asshole bitches, they will be working for men like you. Intelligent driven and amazing people who are ten times the men they think they are and they really go places, those jocks have already peaked. There’s nothing more for them after high school. And you, well you would just be starting” I say softly. 

Eric looks at me in silence for a moment, taking in everything I just said. “You’re the only one I feel comfortable talking to like this.” he says in the most miserable voice I’ve heard of him as he looks down. 

“Well I think I’ve said it before but I’m here as long as you want me here” and I smile. “Unless” and his head jerks up to look at me.

“You don’t get me that pony, then it’s over. I’m gone” and I turn to the car door, behind me Eric is laughing. He opens the door and we both get in. 

“Consider it done, I’ll get you a pony.” and he drives me back to the motel. When we arrive I see a note on my door and run towards it to see if it’s from the agency. Instead it says this:

“Miss Hunter, a message from Miss Robyn: I’ll come to you tomorrow after school around 2:30, can’t wait. - End of message” Smiling I put the message in my pocket. Eric comes towards me.

“So how about I bring you your pony tomorrow after school? And who was the note from, that Jack guy?” he asks.

“Actually the note is a message from Robyn. I’m meeting her tomorrow when she’s done with school. I need a girls day, just chilling you know. Can I meet you at the end of your shift at Blackjack’s?” and I suck in my lips while looking at his face. 

“Yeah sure.” and he walks closer to me “you have fun with her, I’ll just have to miss you I guess.” and his lopsided smile appears.

“Yes you will but it won’t last forever, I promise.” and I wrap my arms around his neck and let myself lean into him to take a kiss. His hands on my back holding me close. This feels so right. Saying goodbye properly to him. My heart swells up three full sizes. It’s so innocent but it means the world to me.

Eric breaks the kiss “You’re so perfect” he whispers to my mouth “I don’t deserve you”.

“Maybe you should start to love yourself and see that you do deserve me so fucking much” and he starts to smile. “Or you know anyone else if you’d want” I say trying to sound less pushy. 

“Do you really think I want someone else?” and he tilts his head and kisses me again. Gentle and sweet. He’s making it hard for me to focus. “I hate to say this but I have to go” he says voice all husky from the kiss. I pout and pull myself back. “Don’t do that, I have to otherwise I’ll never want to leave” and he starts to walk to his car. “I will see you tomorrow at Blackjacks. Be safe” he says before leaving me behind with all my thoughts. 

Needing to find focus on something else I grab my notebook to make a list we need for the party, I want to go get everything tomorrow since it will be Wednesday already. Writing down all the drinks there is a knock on the door. I wonder if it’s the agency. Opening the door the first thing I see is the black oval with the three dots on his chest.


	14. This is my point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The different POV's in this chapter are all written in the first person. This was the first time I've ever done so many POV's. In other chapters I have used it but always written in the 3th person. So please let me know what you think and positive feedback to better myself is always welcome.
> 
> Before you start to read this chapter I would like to say that this chapter was inspired by a previous comment made by Inspireddissolve! They suggested more Eric POV to get into his mind, see a bit more of the anger and other feelings he had in him. So thank you so much for giving me the inspiration for this chapter <3

**Dylan’s POV, Monday April 5th. Two days ago.**

He’s keeping shit from me. She’s getting to him, I know she is. Sitting in the back of class with him I nudge his arm. If he’s going to lie to me I’ll flip my shit. Casually I ask Eric “so what were you doing when I called yesterday?”. He looks up at me and says “stuff for my parents, you know around the house and such” Eric says lying through his teeth and looking so coolly as he does so. He’s betraying me, keeping what he has with her a secret from me. Lying to me, if he does so about this what else is a lie? I feel myself getting furious but I need to keep it cool in front of all these fucking zombies.

“Oh right ey” I say before clenching my jaw shut. 

The rest of that period goes by in silence. We both say or do nothing. When the bell rings I put my shit in the bag and get out of there. Eric right behind me.

“Hey dude, slow down. What’s the rush?” he asks chuckling. 

She loves him and he’s lying about seeing her. 

“I’m just going to the commons” I tell Eric.

“Yeah it’s not going anywhere so chill out.” he says trying to catch up with me.

“Dude stop” I tell him before making my way over to the commons and finding a table. Eric follows me and I can see he’s getting agitated but I don’t care.

“What do you mean stop?” Eric says as he takes the seat next to me.

“I mean as in stop pretending” I bite at him, God he’s infuriating me with his lies. “Do you think I’m stupid?” 

“What the fuck do you mean? Of course I don’t think you’re stupid, I just don’t know what you’re talking about.” Eric says struggling to keep his cool. 

“I’m talking about your little future girl” and I look right at him. Anger boiling over. “Do you think I’m blind? You’re falling for her. And she’s doing the exact same for you” I tell him. 

“First off all, watch what you’re saying, there are ears everywhere. Second off all you’re wrong. I’m not falling for anyone and neither is she” Eric says trying to convince me.

“Stop fucking lying to me. You’re crazy about her, you hardly have anytime for me or NBK. It’s all about being around her.” 

“What is wrong with you, yesterday we went shopping for NBK.” he says and his eyes are becoming dark with anger.

“Eric do you not want to see it or are you just trying to pretend it’s not true?” I feel my blood starting to boil and my heart is pounding in my chest. They’re in love and I’m all alone, losing Eric and our goal.

**Eric’s POV, Monday April 5th. Two days ago.**

Dylan is seething I can see it. “I’m not pretending anything. She means nothing to me” I lie trying to get him off my back. He’s right, I haven’t been paying attention to NBK at all, sometimes I even forget about it when I’m around her. 

“You’re unbelievable. Fuck this shit. I’m out” Dylan says as he stands up and leaves. Leaving me behind fuming. Goddamnit. I see Dylan passing Mike and Erik as he storms out. “Oh fucking great” I say when Mike comes my way. 

“Dude what the hell is wrong with Dylan he was so angry he told me to fuck off before I could even speak.” Mike tells me. I do not have the patience for him.

“We had a. Whatever Mike just leave it. I’ll see you in the next period.” and I stomp off to my car.

**Wednesday April 7th, today. Eric’s POV still.**

Tapping my leg underneath the desk as I take this test. It’s easy, I know the stuff like the back of my hand. My head jerks up and I look outside thinking about her hand in mine. Her soft skin. I close my eyes and focus back on the test, only 5 more questions. I’ll be done in no time if I could just focus. Which I can’t.

“Eric anything interesting out there?” the teacher says calling me out on me daydreaming. 

“No sir” I say hating him for making me look ridiculous. Some heads turn to look at me making it painfully clear to me that Dylan still hasn’t come to school. I can’t believe he’s still angry, it was just a little fall out nothing major, what was he even on about. Finally the test is done and when the bell rings I get out as fast as I can. Walking past all the lockers on my way to mine a smile creeps up on my face when I remember her walking here with me. That familiar twisting feeling in my stomach appears again as I remember her around me. I hate the fact that she’s not spending time with me after school. Having to wait until the end of my shift. Opening my locker I feel a hand crash into the back of my head, slamming me into my locker. Turning around quickly I see it’s the asshole jock from yesterday.

“Hey fag boy where is your little bitch? What class is she in next?” he asks vindictive.

“She doesn’t go to school here” I tell him trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Bullshit” he says and slams me into the lockers again this time with my back against the locker. Fuck that hurts. 

“Don’t try to protect her I’ll break you like a twig”

“I’m not lying” I say pathetically “she’s already graduated, she’s visiting here only. I swear” pleading like that to him makes my blood boil and my hand itch for Arlene. 

“Tell her that next time I see her, she’s not gonna be able to walk out of here. Do you understand?” he asks pushing me back into the locker showing me who’s bigger.

“I understand” I say trying to look the other way.

“Do you? You little bitch? Cause I’ll fuck her over and leave her crippled” one last shove and he walks away. I see a teacher in the far corner who just stood by and did nothing.

“Yeah thanks for the help” I yell out to her, stupid motherfucker. She just turns around and walks away, like they all do. I turn around and lean in against my locker. My eyes stinging before I start to punch my locker door as hard as I can, scraping my knuckle but I don’t care. Anything is better than this worthless feeling, knowing I can’t do shit. He’ll go after her is he sees her again. She has to know not to come back. She can’t come back, I’ll go insane if he touches her. I’ll lose myself. I’d find him and rip his head off with one blow from Arlene. Why can’t he just leave me alone. Feeling that burn in my eyes I quickly go outside to find my car. I can’t even open my goddamn door my hands are shaking. I feel so fucking pathetic and weak. Leaning against my car with my hands my head falls down and all these thoughts keep racing through my mind. For the first time in months. After we got the guns I felt so much stronger. Knowing what’s to come made it easier to bare all the humiliation and anger. I could handle it because I’d make them pay but now I’m back where I was before the guns. Crying outside my car that I can’t even open like a little bitch. It’s her. Sometimes I forget about NBK, I just think of her. She makes me soft and weak only I don’t feel weak. I feel so much stronger around her but then here in this place I’m still nothing. After my fight with Dylan when I went to see her I felt so much better. I always feel better with her, she makes me believe there is a future for me. That there is an after. Yesterday when she said all those things all I wanted to do was tell her I’d abort NBK, I wanted to tell her she’s right. But there’s also Dylan. I’m not alone in this. This is suppose to be us against the world.

“Fuck me” I say through the tears. 

“No thanks ugly” a random asshole outside yells at me walking by. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Just leave me the fuck alone. You ugly faggot” I yell at him, he just looks around with a mocking expression. I kick against my tires and hit the car door. My hand already busted now starts to hurt.

I hate feeling like this. Instantly my mind goes to her. What would she think if she saw me like this? She’d abandon me for sure. My mind races with all these thoughts and my heart is pounding so hard it actually scares me. I don’t know what to do. Right now all I do is wish I could see her. I’m going crazy not knowing what this connection is, why I feel this way. Leaning back while I try to stop my thoughts from racing. _ After high school those asshole bitches, they will be working for men like you. Intelligent driven and amazing people who are ten times the men they think they are and they really go places, those jocks have already peaked. There’s nothing more for them after high school. And you, well you would just be starting.  _ Her words echo in my head and it finally starts to calm down inside.  _ And you, well you would just be starting _ . Opening my eyes I see Dylan and her stand in front of me. Dylan is yelling at me to be loyal and stick to the plan. She is smiling and tells me to push through on to a better path. Why is it that I want to listen to her? I don’t even know her really but it just feels so right. Although abandoning NBK like this..it feels impossible. 

**Your POV, Tuesday April 6th.**

The man from the agency just left. I’m still standing in the door opening, frozen to the ground underneath my feet. The paper with the message in my hand. After what feels forever I’m finally able to move again. I head in and close the door. Looking at the paper my hands start to shake again. I sit myself down in the chair and pull my legs up. Holding the paper in front of me I read the short message out loud:

“Y/n Hunter, The first worthy change has been observed. Their commitment is slightly wavering in multiple aspects. The chances of your success have increased with a fine percentage. The council has decided you’re free of consequences for previous violations and will soon come to a conclusion in regards to possible changes in rules for your specific mission. Carry on soldier. - Jack Le Temps.”

For the first time since I’ve arrived I felt true undivided happiness. “I can do this, they can still be saved. All of them.” I say looking at the paper in my hand. 

**Wednesday April 7th, your POV still.**

My black bag on the bed. Carefully I’ve walked through the room many times. Making sure nothing that could hint to another year then 1999 was left out of the bag. Last but not least I put in Eric’s t-shirts and his sweater along with the last message from Jack. Still absolutely delighted with what was said in the message. I’m so excited to see Robyn in a bit, she should be here any minute now. I’ve already written down everything I know we’ll be needing and I still have some ideas to run past Robyn. A knock on the door and I bounce towards it to open up for her. She looks just as excited as me.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m a little late” she says as she comes in.

“Late? You seem right on time to me.” I tell her. “Would you like something to drink, I still have some lemonade or I can get you something from the vending machine?” I ask her in one breath.

“Lemonade is fine, so Mike told me about your plan.” and she starts to wiggle her eyebrows “a surprise party for Eric this Friday, sounds so cool” and she takes off her jacket. “Oh how are you by the way, sorry I got a little excited about your plan.” she says smiling.

“I’m good, you? Don’t worry I’m happy you’re excited because so am I.” handing her the lemonade as I say so.

“Yaay okay so what is the plan? Oh Erik, Mike and I will definitely be there and I talked to Dylan yesterday after I got your message but he wasn’t sure he could make it. Which is odd because Dylan is always there and those two are inseparable.” she takes a sip from the lemonade and reacts just like I did “dear god this is good, did you make it?” 

“No I didn't” and I quickly start with what I have in mind hoping she won’t ask who did make it. “I do have a plan but I need to know if it’s doable. I want to make it sort of army themed. With lots of green and camouflage decorations like balloons, cups/plates and such. Do you think I can pull that off in like 2 days? Are there stores that would have decorations for it?” I go to sit next to her on the bed with my papers that I ripped out of my notebook and pen in hand.

“There are a few stores we can hit and maybe we see what they have before deciding it's enough to create a theme?” she suggest.

“Awesome Idea. You wanna go right now?” I ask with a twinkle in my eye. She answers by drinking the last of her lemonade in one gulp and immediately getting up to put her jacket back on.

“Let’s do this” she says and I get all excited, so happy we can do this for Eric. We take my car and I drive us to where Robyn dictates I have to go. First stop is Dollar Tree. Robyn leads us to party decorations and apparently army is a very popular theme here in America because here they have cups, plates, balloons and almost every decoration you’d need for an army themed party.

“Well fuck, this was so meant to happen. They have everything” Robyn says with a vibrant smile. She has no idea how meant to be. I’m like a little puppy bouncing up and down as I start to put dark and light green balloons in my basket, Robyn places in about 10-15 cups and plates so we’re sure we have enough. I get us 6 big fake guns that even have slings on them and headbands. Also a set to make the black camouflage stripes on our cheeks.They even have dog tags on which you can write so I get those and a few markers. There is even a big camouflage blanket and I take two to put over the bed.

Robyn and I look at each other very satisfied with what we have.

“We don’t even have to search for anything, this is perfect” I say. “Only thing I need now is to get everything for the cake pops I want to make. So lollipop sticks, everything for buttercream, white chocolate and green food dye. Friday morning I’ll buy the freshly made cakes at a bakery. Drinks and snacks of course we need coke and such.” 

“Cake pops?” Robyn asks curious.

“You’ll see” and I walk over to the register. After I’ve paid for everything we head on to a supermarket to get the snacks, drinks and some of the ingredients already, basically everything but the cake. If only I had an oven, that would have been perfect. An idea pops into my head. “Robyn I need to get everything for cake as well. Can you help me find, sugar, butter, eggs, flower, fresh vanilla and vanilla extract?” I ask her.

“Sure but where are you gonna bake the cake?” she asks me.

“That is going to have to be my secret!” I tell her making Robyn pout.

After we get everything I place all of the things besides the ingredients for the cake, the soda bottles and the snacks in a bag which I will put in one of the drawers of my closet at my motel. I decide to treat Robyn and myself on coffee and cake in a cute little coffee place we drove past before getting here. 

“This is some quality coffee and goooood cake” I say smiling into my coffee cup. Robyn has her mouth full with cake and nods agreeing with me. “Now all I need is a camouflage skirt.” I tell her.

“Hot topic is not too far, it’s close to where you had your date with Mike” she says chuckling.

“Can you believe I fell for that shit? I even let him put his arm around me for show.” and I shake my head in disbelief of my ignorance. 

“I wonder what happened to that Jeremy guy” Robyn says biting her bottom lip thinking about it.

“Oh dear lord, let's not go near that place, I don’t think I want to find out” I say laughing before I dig into the rest of my cake. When we’re done we go out to Hot topic where I easily find a camouflage skirt I like. Buying it I can’t help but chuckle at how happy I am these are no longer in fashion back home. Driving back to the motel Robyn says.

“Look I know you don’t like personal stuff so I won’t ask but I will say that since you came Eric has been so different. He’s more like he used to be a while back. He got so grim for the longest time but now it seems like he’s happier again” and she smiles at me when I look at her.

“Are you serious?” I ask her.

“Yeah I am. I fear the day you go away, I don’t know what will happen to him if you do.” and she chuckles but to me that’s not funny at all. I try to swallow the lump in my throat away to no avail.

“Well I’m considering to stay here or at least somewhere around so who knows you may not have to find out.” I say with a heavy feeling in my chest. 

“Yes please do. That would be for the best. Also I think I’d like that too, you’re the most epic person I ever met.” and I roll my eyes at her. “No seriously. The classy revenge on Jeremy that was the best. Not to mention how you put Mike in his place.” now we’re both laughing.

“Yeah but he’s alright” I tell her.

“You think? I thought Jeremy was quite the ass” she says snickering.

“Ah oh, I’m rubbing off on you” I laugh as we pull up to my motel. 

“I’m taking that as a complimen. I’ll leave you a message if I know more about Dylan and what time should we all be here?” 

“Around 19:30 because Eric thinks we’re going to the movies.” I say with a grin. 

“I’ll see you then. Take care. Bye” she says as she walks over to her car. I take out the bag to put in my closet and leave the other stuff in the car for now. I still have about an hour before Eric goes to work so there is plenty of time to kill before step two of the plan can be executed.

After about an hour and a half of waiting just to be sure even though I know he’s always punctual I get in my car to drive over to Eric’s house. His Honda is nowhere to be found so I’m save. I take the cake stuff with me and without hesitation I ring the doorbell leaving no space to chicken out. The door opens and in it stands a very surprised Wayne. 

“Well hello y/n. What a nice surprise, Eric isn’t home unfortunately .” he says friendly.

“Hello mr Harris, that is actually why I am here” and Wayne looks puzzled. Then his eyes go from my face to the things in my arms. “Could I perhaps come in for a short moment, unless I’m interrupting you of course.” I say smiling.

“No no, come in. Can I take something off your hands?” he asks politely.

“I would appreciate that, just a couple of things.” and I hand him the vanilla extract bottle and the butter while I walk in. Kathy gets up from the sofa as I do.

“Hello y/n. How wonderful to see you again” she says smiling.

“Likewise mrs Harris. I came here with a very bold question if I do say so myself.” and she motions me to go sit down and I do. His parents next to each other on the other side of the table. 

“You see I’m throwing Eric a surprise birthday party on Friday for just a few friends. Just 6 of us in total” I say with my hands folded together trying to keep my hands from fidgeting out of anxiety. This house is a whole struggle to be in.

“Oh how lovely” Kathy says.

“Yes that is really nice of you.” Wayne tells me.

“Thank you, if I’d met more people maybe it could have been more of us but it’s all good. Now I also wanted to make him cake but I have no oven where I’m staying. That’s why I’m here with all these ingredients, to ask if I can come here Friday morning to bake him the cake. While Eric is in school. I will decorate it later in my place because it needs to be completely cooled down.” cheerfully I await their reaction. They look at each other and Wayne starts to smile. 

“I’ll be here waiting for you to come” Kathy says delighted. “What a wonderful thing you’re doing for Eric.” 

I nod and say “thank you ma’am I really appreciate you opening your home and oven for me like that.” and I let out a chuckle “I just really want him to feel appreciated you know. Have a little theme party fun”  _ I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things  _ his words echo through my mind as I said it. “Well I should go, I still have some things to do” I tell his parents before I get up to go to the front door. 

“I’ll walk with you” Kathy says kindly. “It was wonderful to see you again, oh and I wanted to ask. I’m throwing Eric a graduation party and I wanted to invite you. Will you please come?” her eyes so sweet and her heart so unaware of the invisible blow I just took. 

Licking my lips I suddenly realise how Eric was my help in staying calm the last time I was here but he’s not here now. Focussing on her eyes I manage to say.

“Of course” and I suck in my lips smiling at her.

“Great, that’s great. You’ll meet our other son, Kevin then as well.” and she smiles.

“I can’t wait” I tell her lying as best as I can. Before turning around to open the door and head out to my car. Unfortunately she waits by the door to wave me off. I get in the car and wave at her with a trembling hand before going back to my safe zone. 

Inside of my room I quickly grab the black bag and take out the message from Jack, reading it again and again to soothe my racing heart. I’m going to really have to prepare for Friday morning and I’m about ready to kick myself in the head for wanting to make the cake myself so badly. Sure enough I calm down and decide to take a long hot shower. Taking extra time to take care of myself after as well with a face mask and lotioning myself up. After that I dry my hair with the blow dryer and create the bun that Eric liked in my hair. A surprise for Eric in my outfit of the day. When I look at the time I see it’s almost time to head his way which makes me very excited. I want to make an order at Blackjacks before I go because I’m hungry.

I go to the front desk and ask to make a call. When the lady hands me the phone I dial the number and sure enough Eric answers.

**Eric:** “Blackjack pizza how may I help you?” 

**Me:** “Yes hello there is a guy that works in Blackjack and I really want his number he’s so cute” 

**Eric:** “You stop that. Do you want the same pizza as before? Lots of green peppers?” 

**Me:** “I’m thinking this time only put green peppers on half please” 

**Eric:** “Sure thing, come over right now.” 

**Me:** “Missed me that much huh” 

**Eric:** “Woman please, I’m just bored”

**Me:** “That’s a lie and I’m a fool for coming. See you in a bit” 

**Eric:** “See ya” 

“Thank you” I say to the lady that couldn’t look less interested. Making my way over to my car I breathe in the cold air smiling like an idiot. I can’t help but feel infatuated with Eric. Because maybe, just maybe it might turn out alright. 

Back on the parking lot I stand in the exact same spot I did the first time I visited him in Blackjack’s. Talking about the stars and Eric promising me he’d find out what the connection is. I was so much more nervous back then and now the council is talking about whether I may even tell him.. Feels like forever ago but it wasn’t. Walking over to meet up with him I fix my hair a bit. Letting the loose strands frame my face. Before I head in I open my jacket up. Through the door I see Eric talking to a girl behind the counter, they look so deep into their conversation that he only looks up after I’ve opened the door. His smile almost breaks his face and he looks absolutely overjoyed. 

“Hey there stranger” I say walking up to him. He straightens his back and his eyes are glued on my shirt. He looks up from my shirt and a smirk appears on his face. 

“Hello gorgeous” he says before licking his lips. 

Behind him the guy I recognise from before the first time we met, Chris says “I do look good, thank you” without even bothering to look Eric’s way.

Eric just ignores him “your pizza is ready miss” and I lean over the counter, the girl still standing next to him.

“That sounds great, I’m starving but is my company ready to eat with me?” I ask him leaning on my arm.

“That’s the girl you just told me about?” the girl next to him blurts out.

“Yeah thanks for that, she’s never gonna let me hear the end of this” he says looking at her and pointing at me. He’s right though.

“You told her about me?” I ask with a big smile.

“See what I mean” he says dead serious to the girl.

“I’m sorry” she says smiling at him before turning to me “please don’t make fun of him, I shouldn’t have said that” she says with actual worry in her voice. I really like that, it shows she cares.

“You’re telling me to not make fun of the guy that said I was his grandmother to people asking who I was?” Eric now sighing loudly.

“Here we go” he says before turning towards the drinks.

“You called her your grandmother?” the girls asks him.

“It was a joke, ever heard of those?” he asks getting me a diet coke and him a regular one. It makes my heart flutter that he remembers.

“Yeah that joke isn’t funny. You eat him alive girl” she says turning to me. Making both Eric and myself turn our heads in awe at how savage she is.

“Yeah, lets go to the back. She doesn’t need me here” Eric tells me.I smile at the girl and she smiles back. I take the pizza and follow him like before. When I walk past him to go through the backdoor he rests his hand on my back. Going back to sit in the same spot. 

“So you look beautiful in my favorite shirt” is the first thing he says to me as we sit there.

I smile at the pizza in my hand before looking up at him “it is very comfortable”.

“Is it now?” he asks taking a slice from the side with green peppers. I nod yes. He seems like something is bothering him. 

“Hey what’s wrong?” I ask him.

“Nothing.” he says before taking a bite.

“Are you sure, you look like something is bothering you?” I tell him.

“I’m sorry I just don’t want to ruin the mood” he says a little upset.

“Don’t say that, it’s okay if the mood changes. It can always change again” and I see him take another bite. It’s then that I notice the scrapes on his knuckles. Instinctively I grab his hand and look it over with my mouth open. “Eric you’re hurt. What happened?” I say worriedly.

“I can’t, you’ll think I’m some kind of” but I interrupt him.

“Don’t even think of finishing that sentence. You hit something repeatedly, didn't you?” I want to connect with his eyes but he’s looking around incapable of meeting mine.

“It’s pathetic I know.” and he licks his lips and takes a deep breath when he admits “that jock from yesterday found me today”.

“What did he do to you?” I say jumping to my feet to stand in front of him. He’s still not looking at me.

“He just said things” he says still trying to hide the physical part in shame.

“Well what did he say?” and that’s when Eric looks at me.

“He said to tell you that he’d rape you when he sees you next time” he says saddened but his temper takes over and furiously he says “I swear if he touches you I will kill him”. His words send shivers down my spine, this is not an idle threat. 

Carefully choosing my words I say “you’re not going to kill him. Do you think you can get his name for me?” I ask him.

“I think so, from the administration office. Why? You’re not going near him” he says with big scared eyes.

“I’m not going near him don’t worry, but I have my agency behind me remember? Threats to me are a threat to them and they have people everywhere. Get me his name and I’ll get him off both our backs through the help of the agency.” and I walk over to him and open his legs so I can get in between.

He looks at what I’m doing. He’s still closed off so he lets his hands rest on his legs.

“Eric did he hurt you?” I ask him softly.

“Not more then usual” he says coldly. I take his banged up hand in between mine and bring it up to my lips. Tenderly I place a kiss on every hurt knuckle. He looks at me as I do so with his mouth open ready to speak but he stays quiet. 

“That is not okay Eric. This shouldn’t be allowed to happen to you or anyone else” and I want to kiss his hand but he pulls it back to cup my face and looks at me without talking or anything. He just looks at me. It scares me a bit. “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t understand” he says overwhelmed. “You’re always so” and he’s searching for the word “intuitive to what I need or feel” I start to shake my head but he continues “look at me, you are I swear. It’s almost like” but he stops talking and pulls my face close to his before he rubs his nose against mine. “I’m beginning to get scared that someone will jump out from behind a tree or something and says this is all a prank” he lets out a nervous chuckle.

I place my hands over his “nobody's gonna jump out from behind anything. I promise” Eric finds my lips with his and he holds my face as he kisses me sweet and tenderly. But the moment is cut short by a scrape of the throat behinds us. Eric lets go of me at the speed of lightning and I take a few steps back. It’s Chris. 

“I didn't see anything you two carry on, just here to take out the trash” he says but I see Eric’s not happy, Chris knows Dylan. I get back to my spot and climb back on to eat my pizza. Eric eats as well and when Chris is gone he starts to curse.

“Fuck, that wasn’t very smart of me. I’m sorry” Eric says.

“You say sorry one more time when you don’t need to and I’ll take Marty’s skateboard and fly back home. Stop it, it’s fine. You’ll deal with it, he won’t tell Dylan” I tell Eric before taking another bite.

Eric says “you’re incredible do you know that? I hate that movie though” making me choke on my pizza.

“Excuse you? That movie is awesome. It has young Elijah Wood in it. I love him” I say taking another bite.

“Young who? Doesn’t matter those movies suck.” and I hit him in the chest, not hard at all. “That’s abuse” he says pretending to be offended. 

I’m laughing “eat your food”. Together we eat and we talk about everything and nothing. About Friday, Eric was the one to pick the movie we’re not going to and about the girl he works with and some other things as well. When we’re done Eric goes back inside to get his things and together we walk to my car where we will say our goodbyes.

“Did you talk to Chris?” I ask him and he nods.

“Yeah he won’t say anything, I think.” and I wait to be next to car. 

“That sounds good. So listen up.” and I pull him close against me. My arms around his waist and his resting on my hips.

“Hmm I like where this is going already” he says smirking.

“I got a message from Jack Le Temps.” I tell him and as soon as I do he starts to trip over his words.

“You, really? Jack, the agency? What uhm” and he crosses his arms “did he say?” the look on his face is comical. It’s a mixture between fear, curiosity and excitement.

“Are you okay?” I ask him amused. 

“Start talking please, you little gloater” he says.

“The council has decided that there will be no consequences for me for now.” I say with a smile.

“That is really good news. I’m so relieved really.” and he hugs me really tight. I’m a bit surprised by the intensity of this hug. “You have no idea how worried I was.” he says nuzzling my neck and I lay my head on his shoulder.

“You were worried? About what?” I ask him.

“Everything really. I was afraid they’d make you leave or something.” and I pull back when he says that.

“Eric, that was never going to happen. You don’t have to worry about that I promise. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” he smiles and I smile back. I feel his hand go up my back and in my neck. He keeps his hand under my bun.

“I think you look amazing with your hair like that.” he says while biting his lip. He kisses me, hot and heavy from the first second. Pleasantly surprised I let my hands shoot up his back. But then I pull away. “What is it? Did I do something wrong?” he asks unsure.

“No definitely not. No that was very uhm” and I smile “very good but we’re so close to your work, maybe it’s not such a good idea to do this here” I say smiling at him. When I see his face I know I’m done for.

That lopsided smirk graces his face and he gives me a flighty kiss. 

“Don’t tempt me Harris.” I say while I let my hand run into his hair as he kisses me again, the taste of desire on his tongue and lips. Eric is the one that breaks the kiss. He now takes a step back, sucking in his lips.

He smiles and he looks to the side “you drive me mad with your lips” 

I look at my feet and then up to Eric who looks at me again with his wanting eyes. “Okay, just” and I take a step forward placing my hands on either side of his jaw, his mouth opens just a little bit. “One more” and I kiss him so sweetly. My lips gently caressing his. When I pull back his eyes are still closed. 

“Y/n I almost forgot.” he says in an unhappy voice. “Tomorrow my day is planned full after school with family stuff. I tried to get out of it but I can’t so I’ll see you Friday. Not immediately after school unfortunately because my parents want to celebrate my birthday a bit. So I’ll see you when I come pick you up for the movie around 19:45.” he sounds really unhappy about this but so am I, a whole day. That’s a lot of time to waste but on the other hand maybe it’s good so he’ll really want to see me again. 

“A whole day without you? How will I survive?” and I pretend to faint.

“I know it’s horrible baby but you’ll manage and Friday we’re spending the whole evening together. You’re coming bowling as well just so you know” he says smiling. I just look at him, his words faded to the background after he called me baby.  _ Baby _ .

“You called me baby” I just say smiling and I turn to open my car door.

“No I didn't.” he says trying to hold in a laugh.

“Yes you did and you can’t take it back.” and I stick out my tongue.

“Oh my god you’re such a toddler” he says.

“No I’m baby” and I get in the car laughing.

He rolls his eyes and waves while he watches me go.

I can’t wait to see him on Friday, see his reaction. I’m trying to stay excited but I know I’m annoyed at myself for wanting to see him tomorrow...


	15. Party like it's 1999

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the continuing support! Hope you all like this chapter :)

\- Thursday morning

Loud knocking on my door wakes me up. I sit up in bed and look at the alarm clock which says 8:00. Wondering why someone is here so early and who it is I put my phone under the blanket and pull over a vest to open the door. 

In it stands Eric with a smile on his face and coffee in his hand.

“Morning sunshine” he says on purpose because I have the biggest frown on my face.

“What are you doing here?” I ask a bit cranky and surprised to see him here so early.

“Not a morning person I see” he says laughing

“What gave you that idea?” I say looking at the coffee in his hand I ask “is that for me Harris?” 

“Of course it is” and he comes closer to give it to me. 

“Thank you, I love this.” I exclaim on this early morning. Looking at his eyes growing big I add “bringing me coffee like this, a girl could get used to that” 

“You’re welcome.” he says with a smile and a kiss on my cheek. “It’s cappuccino. That was what you ordered that day in the park right?” 

I’m getting all warm and fuzzy inside that he remembered, then again that was a memorable day. “It was, I had cappuccino and you a hot chocolate” 

“Correct and you kissed me.” he says sassy. My mouth drops open and my hand raises to my chest.

“I would do no such thing, I’m a lady I’ll have you know” and I grin at him.

“You really are, a lady that kissed me. I was such an innocent soul” he says jokingly. I laugh out loud hard.

“Innocent soul oh my dear boy. What a joke.” now he’s laughing too. “Do you wanna come in or do you have to go?” I ask him.

“Well there is hardly anything else I’d love more then to come in but unfortunately I have to go. Just wanted to see you real quick and give you that” he says pointing at the coffee.

_ Well there is hardly anything else I’d love more then to come in.  _ My mind is going crazy.

“You’re so sweet and now you even bring me my favorite morning drink” and I step out. Barefoot I stand before him and he looks at my feet and is ready to say something but I throw my arms around his neck and pull myself close against him. Bra and shamelessly. I give him a kiss underneath his ear and then I take his earlobe in between my lips, his arms tighten around me. “Thank you for coming. Turns out you’re quite addictive Harris” and I pull back to find Eric’s powerful eyes on me. 

“Don’t kiss me like that woman” he says his hands still on me.

“I’m sorry” I say smiling. “You should go and leave me here with my coffee and thoughts” 

“What thoughts?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

“Thoughts about hoeveel ik om je geef” I say licking my lips. He creates distance between us and looks at me.

“Again with the language I don’t understand. Tell me what it means” he orders, looking at my indignant face he adds “please, tell me” 

“I’m thinking I will some other day” and I take a step back.

“Some day in June” he says doing the same and walking backwards. Eyes still focussed on me.

“June” I say smiling. “Earlier is possible but you know that depends on you”

“I am very well aware of that.” and he blows me a hand kiss.

Biting my bottom lip I chuckle, never in a million years did I expect him to do that.

“Yep it feels as stupid as I thought it did.” he says walking to his car. Opening his door he asks “did it look stupid as well?” he asks smiling while he shakes his head in disbelief he really did that.

I tilt my head and look at him “Eric, nothing you do that’s sweet looks stupid. However I might be a bit biased.” I admit.

“Biased how?” he asks confused.

“You have to go you’ll be late.” I tell him raising up my brows.

“I already am. I’ll just say I was visiting my sick grandmother” he laughs and gets in his car. I look at him with a fake insulted face and see him laughing still as he drives off. What a perfect start of the day.

-Thursday evening

Getting back to my motel with my food I walk around the corner and see Eric in his car and when he looks up at me he jumps out of the car. 

“Weren’t you supposed to be busy?” I ask him curious.

“I was, I am. On my way to meet everyone at the restaurant in a bit but I had to come by. That asshole jock, his name is Justin Lahey. Now you need to get word to the agency that he needs to be taken out. He can’t stay alive going on like this” he says in one breath and his sharp words hit me like a brick.

“Eric, they’re not gonna kill him. The agency will make sure that he will no longer form a threat to us.” I say emphasizing that murder is not the answer.

“No he needs to die.” Eric says with palpable hate in his voice.

“Eric, death is permanent. This Justin asshole may not permanently stay an asshole. Don’t you think he deserves a chance to redeem himself?” I ask anxious of how he will react.

“No not him. He threatened you” he yells. “No he doesn’t deserve shit” and he swallows hard as he looks at me. I’m struggling to keep my cool, I don’t want him to see he’s scaring me like this. He can’t know that, he’ll bolt out of here. 

“I know, I know he did and he hurt you with it. He doesn’t deserve shit, I agree. However he also doesn’t deserve to die. Everybody deserves a second chance, Eric.” I say walking towards him to take his hand, he’s withdrawn and doesn’t take want to take my hand but I push through, lacing my fingers with his. He won’t look at me. “If people can better themselves they need to be able to show that, hence the second chance.” I feel him struggle with himself. The need to keep feeling angry over his hurt and the desire to break free from it. “We should watch the movie Sweet November together” I say smiling.

“Never heard of that movie” he mutters looking at the floor.

“I know you don’t it comes out in 2001. One of my favorite movies” I tell him.

“What's it about?” he asks his eyes creeping up.

“I’ll tell you some other time, you need to go have dinner and mine is getting cold.” I say looking at Eric with a small smile.

“You’re right. Just make sure he’s dealt with soon because if I see him near you” and he gets worked up again.

“I will, I promise. I’ll send out a message before I start my dinner.” and Eric takes a step closer.

“I’m not sure if I should apologise, I don’t want you flying off on that dumbasses skateboard.” He says with a little guilt in his voice.

“You may apologise for yelling and calling Marty a dumbass” I say with a small smile. 

“I am so sorry I yelled at you, it wasn’t directed towards you.” he says and he kisses my cheek. “However I stand by my comment about that Marty guy.” he says smiling still close to me. 

I smile and tilt my head to connect our lips. “It’s all okay” I say licking my lips before kissing him again. “We’re gonna have a busy month in June” I say.

“Hmm and why is that?” he says while he keeps kissing me.

“Because I’m going to make you love those movies” 

Eric freezes and walks back with squinted eyes making me smile. “Yeah sorry I just realized I can’t make it in June I have things to do.” and he shrugs. 

“No time for me in June whatsoever?” and I look at him in shock.

“Not if you’re gonna make me watch those movies” he says chuckling. For some reason that sentence makes me extremely emotional and I hang my food on my doorknob and quickly walk over to Eric, tears stinging in my eyes. “Hey what’s wrong?” he asks seeing my face while I hug him tight. I feel tears roll down my cheeks. Eric is rubbing my back. “Hey talk to me” he says a little scared.

“Nothing I’m fine.” I say holding him. 

“That’s not true, you’re crying” he states.

“It’s just. I’m sorry. The June joke made me a little emotional.” I tell him. Turning my head so it's laid against his shoulder my nose under his face.

“Why?” he chuckles. And I think about whether and how to answer that question but I just want him to know the truth.

“Because I want you to still be here in June” I say while I place my hand on the side of his face.

“Oh” and his arms tighten around me. 

“I’m sorry, you need to go” and I pull out of his arms and look at the floor. “Who’s ruining the mood now huh” I say chuckling.

“Well a wise and extremely old lady once said it’s fine if the mood changes it can always change back” and I look up at him and roll my eyes at his words. “I’ll see you tomorrow evening. Also I thought of a present you can give me” he says with a smirk on his face.

Now I squint my eyes “what would that be?” 

“You wearing a skirt” and he wiggles his eyebrows before he leaves. I shake my head at him and see he's smiling.

Quickly I get my food inside and take out my black bag. In there is a small handbook with codes. I check to see if I have the right ones in mind. I do. Putting it back in the bag I go out to the frontdesk to use the phone. A man behind the desk now with headphones on and I ca hear the music blast through the earpieces. . 

Picking up the phone I dial the number I know by heart. After two rings there is an answer. A lady with a sharp voice answers. 

“This is y/n Hunter and I have a message for Jack Le Temps. The message is: Justin Lahey forms a code 51 to the mission, needs to be taken care off asap. He goes to Columbine high school. End of message.” I tell the woman, she repeats the message and after confirmation she hangs up. Knowing that will be taken care of I go back to my room.

-Friday morning 

This morning I woke up all excited as if it was my own birthday. I decided to go make the cake first and come back to decorate while the cake cools down. I did my breathing exercises so I hopefully will be able to walk in his house without getting that crushing feeling over me. Eric’s short visits are stuck in my head. It showed how vulnerable he was. Starting off so joyful only to get so heated during the day he gets so hateful and feeling violence is the only solution. It’s scary but above all it hurts me so much to see him like that. If there is a future for him I hope he can find the courage to work on that sooner rather than later. Since I’ll be with his mom I decided to wear my washed out jeans and the Ventura blouse tucked in, she’ll love that Eric bought that for me. Fixing my hair in an easy ponytail I head over to his house. 

Driving up to his house I feel a little less anxious then before. Maybe because I’m starting to think there might be a different path for Eric and Dylan. Getting out of the car I walk up to the house and knock on the door. It doesn’t take long for his mother to open the door. 

“Good Morning” she says cheerfully.

“Good morning mrs Harris” I say smiling at her. 

“Come in” she says waving me in with her hand. I do so and take off my shoes and jacket. Walking in I can see she already set out all the products on the kitchen counter for me with everything I need to make this cake. 

“Everything is all set for me, thank you so much. I appreciate that” I say smiling at her. 

“Oh it was nothing. I’m so delighted that you’re throwing him this party. It’s the least I could do. I’ll preheat the oven for you.” she says while walking past me and into the kitchen.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asks kindly.

“Do you have coffee?” 

“I’ll make a pot” she says.

“Oh no please don’t on my account. I’ll have a glass of water” I say hurriedly.

“No, nonsense. It’s a good excuse to have another cup myself as well” she says starting to fill the pot with water. “Milk and sugar?” she asks.

“Milk yes but no sugar please” I say as I feel a bit awkward standing there by myself. 

“Good, would you like to start right away?” she asks me.

“I’m thinking that’s a good idea since it needs to be in the oven for an hour.” I say nodding my head and she clears out the work space and lets me get in there. 

Washing my hands I start by measuring everything. Knowing the recipe by heart I get through it easily and quickly. Plain vanilla cake is best with cake pops in my opinion. It doesn’t take more then 10 minutes to make the cake. Placing it in the oven I start to wash up everything and dry it to put it on the counter for Kathy to put away. Behind me the coffee is ready and I see that she had already set out two cups, one with milk and one without. Filling the cups and stirring both our coffees I take them with me when I walk over to his mother. She looks up and is pleasantly surprised. 

“Oh my look at that, are you done with the cake?” She takes her coffee from my hands “thank you, how sweet of you”.

“Yes it’s in the oven, thank you again. I’m so happy I could do it myself” I say taking a sip from my coffee, oh how I dislike coffee made like this. I’m so spoiled with 2020s coffee machines. 

“It’s no trouble at all, leave the dishes and I’ll do them later.” she says taking a sip from her coffee.

“Uhm, they’re already done” I say smiling. She lowers her cup and looks at me with an astonished expression on her face.

“Well if only I had girls” and she places a finger in front of her mouth “ssshh”. Making me smile.

“You have two sons” I say and without thinking about it I add “they are bound to get married one day and give you two daughters” smiling because I have to. Wanting to slap myself for saying this. 

“What a lovely thought” and she drinks her coffee, so do I, I’ll drink the whole pot because she made it for me. “I have to ask, that’s a very interesting blouse you’re wearing. Is that new fashion? Floral patterns?” she asks.

“Actually Eric bought this for me.” I say smiling looking down on the blouse. “We were at the thrift shop in town and he ended up buying this for me as a surprise” 

“Did you just say thrift shop? With Eric? You got my son to go into a thrift shop?” she says stunned.

“Yes ma’am. At first he was disgusted with everything but it didn't take too long for him to warm up to the place. It may have helped that I picked out some clothes so I could dress up as Ace Ventura. This blouse was what I wore and that’s why he bought it I think.” and I shrug while drinking the coffee.

“Now who would have thought. Did he have fun?” she asks doubtful.

“Yes ma’am” and I continue to tell her about everything we did that day. The fashion show where I obviously skip the dress part. She listens closely and laughs. She looks so happy when I tell her about these things. I try to leave out details but I’m so excited because she’s so amused. In my head she’s been through so much, it’s hard to remember that right now she’s still a happy all American mother with two sons. Time starts to fly and before I know it 45 minutes have past already.

“I have the best of fun with your son” I conclude after the whole story.

“I’m sure he feels the same way. I know so actually.” she seems hesitant to continue but she does “I have a very intruding and personal question that I would like to ask, is that okay with you?” she asks. 

“Uhm yeah sure I guess” I say insecurely.

“Do you have feelings for Eric as more than a friend?” she asks sweetly. My insides start to turn and in my head I’m in full panic mode. What do I do? Tell her the truth or part of it, I have no idea and I’m scared. Like many times before my mouth starts to talk before my brain can even think if it’s a good idea to say it. 

“I do.” I say with not a trace of doubt in my voice. I start to blink and for some reason saying it out loud makes all the difference in the world. My heart is racing and so is my mind.

Kathy gets up with our cups and says “That’s so nice to hear since he’s in love with you” her eyes get big and she looks at me with terror written on her face.

“He’s what now?” I ask her completely shocked. 

“I am so sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” and she walks over to the kitchen and fills our cups again. This shouldn’t come as a complete surprise to me, not at all but somehow hearing her say that makes it so much more real. 

“Did he say that to you?” I ask her and I didn't even notice that I got up from my seat. “Eric said to you that he’s in love with me?” I ask her and she has a smile on her face.

“He did. Please do not tell him I said this to you, he will never trust me with anything again.” she says as she takes my hand while we sit down.

“I won’t” I promise her. “I’m just a little” I look at her hand over mine and it calms me. The way only a mother's hand can. 

“Shocked?” she says.

“Overwhelmed” I say smiling. “I mean between you and me, I had a feeling. You know?” and the scent of cake fills the room. “I should go check on the cake” and I get up to go see if it’s ready and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I’m so happy I could use this as an excuse. Poking in the cake with a fork I can’t help but smile. He told his mother he’s in love with me. The cake is done. “Mrs Harris, the cake is done” I say taking it out of the oven to let it cool down. I take it out of the cakeform and let it cool just a bit. Walking over to the couch to drink my coffee his mom looks at me.

“I was never supposed to say this to you but I’m glad I did.” she tells me.

“You are?” I ask a little confused.

“Yes because I’m very glad to know you feel for him as well.” oh my god if only she knew. She continues “so next time when he talks to me I can encourage him even more.” she says smiling.

“Even more?” I ask her 

“Yes” she simply says.

“Well I’m a bit shook of my ass” and my eyes grow wide “I am so sorry ma’am, excuse my language” I say quickly placing my hand in front of my mouth.

“Don’t worry, I live with Eric.” and she winks making me laugh. “Shook of my ass. You’ve got some interesting way of wording things.” and she smiles.

“It’s a European thing probably.” I say to her, making her smile. “I think I should go, make sure I can get everything the way I want it before the stores close and I can’t get anything else.” 

“Ah a perfectionist.” she says smiling before she goes into the kitchen to wrap the cake up in a guest towel to keep it clean and fresh. “Here you go. Remember you’re welcome any time. I’m gonna tell Eric to invite you over for dinner again sometime” she says smiling.

“That would be lovely” I say sincerely. We say our goodbyes and she waves me off like before. Driving back to the motel I can only think about Eric telling her he’s  _ in love with me _ . I can’t even think straight so much is going through my mind when the silence is over. Back at the motel I put the cake on the desk and decide to get right to it. Leaving nothing up for chance I place the black bag in the back of the closet. I’m starting by blowing up all the balloons and hanging them above the desk and on the ceiling, I have 30 balloons to hang up in a relatively small room so it looks really good. The ceiling is 70% covered with light and dark green balloons. After that is finally done I move on to make the cake pops on the desk now that there is still space. After about thirty minutes they are dipped and swirled in green and brown chocolate and ready to set. Then I decorate the desk, putting on the cups and plates. Setting the drinks there and snack ready to be unpacked before they arrive. I write everyones name on a dog tag and place them there as well along with the headband and the facepaint. The fake guns with slings I’ll put on the bed after I placed the blankets over it. I decide I want to go out to get a big sheet of paper and markers to hang above the desk. Lucky for me there is a huge store full off hobby stuff. On my way there I thought it be a really cool idea to buy disposable cameras as well, I got six, one for all of us. Getting back at the motel I sit on the floor to decorate the sheet of paper. First I write on the left side in curly letters “Happy Birthday Harris” and then I draw the profile of a face with a hat put on backwards on the right side. I have to take off the balloons and put up the poster I made him and then I put the balloons around it like a frame. I’m very pleased by how it’s all coming together. Looking at it I now hope he doesn’t think it’s childish.. Looking at the clock I see it’s 3 already. Now I want to create as much space as I can, knowing we’d probably cram on the bed most of us. We’ll see how it goes. I place the cameras on the desk next to the dog tags. Now I just want to lay back for a while and chill. When the clock hits the 18 mark I get up from the bed remake it and place the camouflage blankets over the bed. Now I wanna make myself ready taking it slow. This time I braid my hair from my neck up into a loose bun on the back of my head. I put on a black tank top with white lace on the back and put on the skirt I bought at hot topic and pantyhose. It’s already 19:20 so I start to put out the snacks and cake pops. I put the fake guns on the bed and wait for people to arrive. 

I hear a loud male voice outside and not long after a knock on the door follows. “Mike” I say smiling before opening the door. In it are Mike, Robyn and Erik. No Dylan. 

“Hey you guys come on in” I say opening the door for them. 

“Woohooow” Mike says and Robyn is looking around with her mouth wide open.

“Oh my god you drew Eric” she says pointing at the profile on the poster. Not intentionally but now that I look at it, the profile does has a sharp nose.

“This looks awesome and since Eric isn’t here I can tell you that you look absolutely hot” Mike says with his arms open ready for a hug. I shake my head and walk in to give him a hug. 

“Thank you all for coming, especially you Erik since we met only briefly.” and I give him a short hug too, he’s very awkward when I have my arms around him.

“Thank you for inviting me” he say and he holds up a gift “do you have a special place for this?” and I shake my head no.

“Let's put them on the chair for now.” and all three put their gifts on the chair.

“Holy shit” Mike says looking at the fake guns on the bed “This is seriously awesome”.

“I’m glad you like it, hopefully Eric does too” I say and Mike turns around.

“You throw him a surprise birthday party and you look like that. Don’t worry” he says winking very dramatically. Erik shakes his head, smiling. 

“Six disposable cameras are you serious?” Robyn yells out “that is so cool”

“Hey uhm is Dylan coming?” I ask Robyn because I still don’t know.

“He wasn’t sure” she tells me. 

“Oh I hope he comes” I say to them. Mike already has the sling of a gun over his shoulder. I look over and see it’s 19:43. “Okay Eric is gonna be here in a few minutes I’m gonna wait for him outside.” they all nod and I go outside.

As soon as I do he drives up in his Honda. His eyes grow wide as he sees me and a smirk appears on his face. He parks his car and gets out at the speed of lightning. “Hey gorgeous” he says a bit timid when walking up to me.

“Hello birthday boy” I say smiling at him. I know I have to move fast because he will definitely come collect a kiss as soon as he’s near enough. “Come on let me get my jacket” I say turning around.

I grab his hand and pull him with me when I open the door. Pulling him in everybody yells “SURPRISE” and Eric is in complete shock. He looks at us all in front of him and his mouth is open. 

“Happy birthday dude” Mike yells and Erik says “yeah man.” 

Robyn walks up to a still silent Eric and says “happy birthday Eric” and she hugs him, he hugs her back but his eyes are on me.

“Geeze, I did not expect this” he says chuckling with his hands on his hips.

“You like it though?” and I walk over to his other side so he can see the desk and poster better. 

“Are you kidding I love it” he says enthusiastic. “Everything is army” 

I jump up and down and clap my hands “yaay, okay lets gear up people” and Robyn starts to hand out the guns to everyone. I get the dog tags and first I put one over Erik’s head, followed by Mike who wiggles his eyebrows in a horrifying way. Then I give one to Robyn before I walk over to Eric.

Placing the dog tag over his head with his hat on I whisper in his ear “happy birthday babe” before pulling back with a big smile. He looks so shocked still. Which makes it all absolutely perfect.

“I’m giving everyone the soldier swipe” Robyn says holding the face paint “queue up people, Eric first” and she walks towards him to give him the soldier swipe as she calls it.

“Yes and then you all walk over to me for a headband. Lose the hat Harris” I say while he gets swiped. He then walks over to me and looks around at everything.

“Did you do all this?” he asks breathlessly.

“I had help” I say shrugging while I put his headband on.

“I only guided you to some shops the rest was all you” Robyn says not letting me share anyone in the credits.

“Did you do this all by yourself?” Erik asks sounding pretty impressed.

“Uhm yeah I did” I smile at him.

“She even made the cake pops” Robyn says.

“She made the what?” Mike asks stepping closer to me.

“These” I say picking up the platter with the camouflaged colored cake pops. “Lets all get a gun and a camera and then we can start eating these bad boys.” I say to everyone. 

“This looks amazing, did you make this?” Eric asks pointing at the poster. 

“I sure did” I say smiling getting him a gun. He takes it from my hand and pulls the sling over his head, like in Radioactive clothing only a little more smooth. “Do you like it all?” I ask him while getting him a camera.

“No” he says “I love it.” and he takes the camera from me.

There’s a knock on the door and I look at Eric. I open the door and see Dylan standing tall in front of me. A smile on his face and a present in his hands. “Dylan come in” I say happy he made it. Eric looks a bit uneasy while he looks at Dylan.

“Yooo Dylan, look at all this cool shit. Y/n arranged it all and she made cake bombs.” Mike says enthusiastically.

“Cake pops, dude” Robyn says.

“Yeah those too” Mike jokes. “Come on let's get you ready, here have a gun.” and Dylan frowns a little but takes it. He walks over to Eric and says “happy birthday man, you’re an 18 years old now” and he smiles.

“Yeah thanks, I’m almost as old as that grandmother over there” he says grinning.

“Thanks dude” I say nodding. Walking like I need a cane I take the facepaint off the desk, a dog tag and the headband before I walk over to Dylan. Who’s laughing looking at my act.

“Come on lets give you the soldier swipe” and I smile.

“Soldier swipe?” he asks.

“Yeah that’s Robyn’s term for the facepaint” I say laughing.

“I think that’s hilarious” Robyn says pouring drinks for everyone. 

“So do I” and I hold Dylan's chin in my hand while I apply the swipe. In the corner of my eye I see Eric looking this way. When I turn to look at him he looks away. “Okay now the tag, bend a little please” and Dylan does so. Smiling at me while his face is a little too close to mine. “Headband and you’re good to party” I say putting it over his head. 

“Thank you y/n” Dylan says almost sweetly.

Erik hands Dylan a camera and says “welcome to the club man, we’re all losers here” making us all laugh. 

“Lets give you our gifts first” Robyn says clapping and they all get their gifts. “Mine first” Robyn says cheerfully. It’s an envelope and Eric opens it and before he says what it is he looks at me and I read worry in his eyes.

“It’s a paid pre order receipt for KMFDM’s upcoming album Adios” he says smiling. This hits me in the soul, Robyn is amongst the three people in this room that have no idea about NBK. Which makes this the perfect gift for Eric’s birthday. To me this is extremely painful. Seeing Eric and Dylan stay so calm about it only makes it worse. 

“That is the coolest gift” Dylan says cooly like it’s nothing.

“It seriously is, thank you so much Robyn.” Eric says when he walks over to hug her. 

“I’m next” Mike says with a devious smile on his face. Looking at the shape of what he’s holding it must be a magazine. I have a feeling I know what it is. Eric starts to open it and before the paper is off 20 dollars fall out. 

“Thanks man” Eric says and he takes off all the paper and I see I was right. “A playboy magazine” Eric says embarrassed. Mike starts to laugh so hard and it’s infectious. They all laugh, I force myself to join in. Eric places both the gifts on the desk. Dylan walks up and gives Eric a present too.

“Hope you like it man” it’s small and long. Eric opens it and it’s a cigar rolled up in a 20 dollar note. 

“I do, thank you so much. This will be my birthday cigar” he says with a grin on his face. Then a flash from the side and I see Robyn is the first to use her camera.

“Here you go man” Erik says handing his friend a square gift. 

Eric opens it and out come two cd’s from a band I never heard of before, something industrial. “Thanks man these are awesome” Eric smiles. “Thank you all so much.” 

“I have a little something as well.” I say smiling.

“You did all this and got him something?” Mike asks. “Marry me?” 

“Well it’s only a written note, so don’t get too excited. It’s not like it’s naked chicks” I say rolling my eyes giving Eric the piece of paper I had in my pocket. He folds it open and reads it in silence. It says: 

“Gift certificate for two concert tickets of your choice in June or even later this year” - baby grandmother.

Eric smiles at me before he shakes his head. Putting the paper in his pocket.

“Thank you” he says before giving me a hug.

“Okay enough of this, all amazing gifts and I got nothing. So it’s time for cake” Mike says and he walks over to the desk to get the plate and he makes sure everyone has one. We all dig in.

“Damn this is good” Dylan says “where did you buy these?” 

“I made them myself.” I tell him before taking a bite. 

Eric turns to me and says “you made these?” his eyes curious.

“Yes sir” and I take the last bite. 

“Wow these are so good but there’s no oven here” Eric says perceptive.

“I know” I say while placing my stick on the platter, the rest does the same. 

“It’s a secret where she made them” Robyn says re adjusting her gun. I turn around and take the face paint and the wrappers from the gifts and take them to the bathroom. To make some room. When I get back Mike, Erik and Robyn are settled on the bed. Dylan is in the chair and Eric stands there just looking at me.

“Okay time we start to use these” Erik says while he opens his camera. Mike immediately does the same.

“Okay y/n hold the playboy up so I can snap a picture” Mike says looking very happy with himself. 

“So that’s not happening.” and I turn to Dylan. “So glad you could make it” I tell him. 

“Thanks, yeah I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Eric turning 18. He’s a whole ass man now” he says grinning. 

“A whole ass” I say smiling and Eric looks at me and rolls his eyes. Everyone seems to enjoy themselves and I try not to think about the cd or anything else negative, I don’t want to ruin this evening. Eric looks so happy talking to Dylan and Erik. Mike is playing with his gun pretending to sneak up on Robyn who looks like she wants to be rescued.

“You stop right there. I have a fake plastic gun and I’m not afraid to use it” I say pointing the gun at Mike. Who looks at me ready to have a standoff. Everybody looks at us very amused.

“Oh yeah and how will you use it?” Mike asks pointing his own gun at me. 

“I could slap you with it. Yes I’ll slap you silly.” I say smiling. Mike turns around and shows me his ass slapping on it with his hand. 

“Yeah I don’t think so” I say looking at Robyn who’s cringing with disgust written all over my face.

“Oh come on you know you want to” Mike says, Erik starts to laugh real hard. 

“Yeah I don’t think so” I say shaking from laughter now. Mike stops rubbing his ass a little disappointed. “Pop in a cd that Erik gave you” I tell Eric.

“Oh yeah good plan” Eric says going over to the cd and opens it. I come stand beside him and see my Jacob Lee cd in. Eric carefully places that one in his cd cover and puts in the new cd. Presses play and some angry music comes blaring out. We all sit there together talking and laughing. I see Robyn glancing at an unaware Dylan from time to time. Mike is doing weird things with his gun and headband. Erik is sitting with Dylan and Eric and he seems to really admire the two of them. 

“Listen up folks” Mike says with his hands in the air. “It’s time for spin the bottle” and Robyn starts to laugh.

“Spin the bottle with two girls and four guys.” and she waits for the penny to drop with Mike. “Okay fine I’m in but you guys have to kiss anybody it lands on” Robyn says making the guys all look at each other.

“Hell no” Eric says smiling.

“What I’m not good enough for you?” Mike says with big eyes. “Listen if it lands on a guy we just kiss the cheek, lands on a girl we go full french on them.” and he makes big gestures with his hands while he speaks.

“Absolutely no such thing” Dylan says “stay away from those girls or I will have to remove you from the premises” 

“Fine you sour Sidney’s then truth or dare at least” he yells out. Making me laugh so hard, I know he’s trying to find a route to his two dirty questions I have to answer.

“Remember at Robyn’s that wasn’t such a great success” Erik says. 

“You know what, why don’t you ask Eric if you can borrow his playboy and play a little spin the bottle in the bathroom” I say smiling.

“Yeah dude feel free to borrow it, in fact when you’re done you can keep it” Eric says before taking a sip from his drink.

“Oh wait a second people I’ll be right back” Dylan says while leaving immediately.

“What” Robyn asks “there is too much going on why is he leaving?” all confused. Dylan comes back in with a big bottle of Vodka in his hand. “Oh that’s why” she says smiling.

“Yes that will get this shit going” Miks says holding up his cup.

“Oh my god you guys that is the worst plan ever” I say while Dylan opens the bottle and comes towards me and my drink.

“That’s why it’s so much fun” he says while pouring some in my drink. I look at Eric and shake my head, he just smiles.

“Didn't you say you get really horny when you get drunk at Robyn’s?” Mike asks.

“No man you hoped she was” Erik says getting a shot from Dylan. 

“Oh well. Let’s find out” Mike says very happy. Everybody drinks their first alcohol of the evening even I do. We’re all just having fun and the mood is so comfortable. Eric is at ease and Dylan is laughing a lot. Robyn and I are having the best of fun playing sword with our guns.

“Truth or dare Dylan” Mike yells out of nowhere.

“Get lost” Dylan says laughing.

“I’m taking that as truth. Who was the last person you licked?” He asks all excited. Making us all laugh so hard.

“What a fucking question dude” Dylan says but then he does something so funny, he licks his own hand and says “me” playing the system right there.

“Unfair” Mike says pointing at Dylan. 

“Robyn truth or dare?” Dylan says looking at her. 

“Dare” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“Dare her to” Mike starts but gets interrupted by Eric.

“Nobody is daring the girls to kiss you man” and he takes another sip of his drink while he sits down on the bed with Robyn, Erik and Mike.

“Dance without music for at least 30 seconds” Dylan says.

“Oh good one” I say hitting Dylan on his shoulder because I’m leaning on the wall next to him on the chair “thanks” he says. Looking at Robyn she’s not very amused. I walk over to the cd player and pause the music. “There you go” I say gesturing for her get on the floor to dance. 

“Yeah so I hate you now Dylan.” she says getting off the bed. She stands at the foot of the bed and without a second word she starts to dance. I smile at her and start to clap, the rest follows and while she dances like an idiot making especially Eric cringe very hard we all clap for her. After about 30 seconds she stops and sits on the bed hiding her face in her hands.

“You were amazing girl” I say cheering her on. 

“Thanks and your turn y/n truth or dare?” she asks me.

“Crap. Okay fine dare” I say rubbing my hands together ready for the challenge.

“Let one of us of your choice draw or write something somewhere on your body with a marker” she says evil grin on her face.

“I volunteer” Mike screams. Making everyone laugh. 

“Robyn” I say pouting but I go to get a marker and when I’m back I’m in serious doubt who I’ll choose. “Okay so I’m in doubt, shall I choose the birthday boy or make Mike very happy?” 

“Make Mike very happy” Mike says smiling like an idiot. I see Eric looking at Dylan and back at me. 

“Yeah maybe you should let Mike have something for once” Eric says.

“Man I love you, did you know that? I love you” Mike says making a heart with his hands. 

“Fine just where. Oh my lord this is horrible. Okay people can’t see it” I say sighing.

“The ass” Mike suggests.

“Who says no one sees my ass?” I say daring.

Mike instantly looks at Eric and back at me “Eric you dog” making Eric spit out his drink. We’re all laughing, even Dylan. 

“Dude stop” Eric tells Mike. 

“I know where just wait here.” and I go in the bathroom to take of my pantyhose. Coming back everybody looks at me and I point to my foot. I’m going over to the bed where Mike was sitting. Getting back to headboard I sit up and cross my legs. “Go ahead Mike but only on my foot.” He sits on his knees on the floor looking at my foot and over my legs. He shakes his head and folds his hands together and pretends to pray. “Oh my lord dude you hurry up before I change my mind.” and he starts to draw something. He gets up and has his back towards me as he continues. I see Dylan in the chair looking at this whole picture and I cannot help thinking about his foot fetish and when he meets my eyes I almost fear he can read my mind because he looks away a little flustered. Mike gets up and says “tadaaa” and when I look at my foot I start to laugh so hard. He drew two heads kissing and wrote Mike under one and my name below the other. Robyn looks at my foot and laughs.

“Let me see” Eric says impatient. I turn my foot so he can see and he smacks his forehead laughing. Erik finds it hilarious as well. After about 6 turns it’s Erik’s turn and he asks Eric.

“Dare no truth. No wait dare, yes dare” Eric says smiling at me when he sees my amused face.

“Okay smell the armpits of everyone in this room” Erik says making us all make disgusting faces.

“Jesus man. What the fuck.” Eric says not happy with his assignment. “Fine everyone stand up in a line and I’ll sniff you like a german shepherd sniffs for coke.” he says visible annoyed.

“Like a german shepherd sniffs for coke, man how do you come up with that shit?”. Erik asks laughing.

We all do what he says, Dylan is most reluctant but does so. Eric quickly places his nose under Dylan’s, Erik, Robyn and Mike’s armpits and he goes “dear fuck Mike” before walking over to me. I laugh so hard and raise up my arm. He sniffs shortly and says “well that’s done” and he goes over to the bed and lays down dramatically and pretends to be dead. Making us all laugh so hard. He’s a real character. 

“My turn. Mike, what the hell who cares, truth or dare” Eric says and Mike looks at Robyn with fire in his eyes.

“Dare man” and he wiggles his eyebrows verousiacly.

Eric comes over to me and whispers something in my ear. “Yep I do” I tell him happily.

“Good, well then Mike let y/n do your makeup” and Mike jumps up.

“I’m a man okay. No that’s unacceptable” Mike says with his arms in a big X. Dylan is enjoying himself and I see him pulling out the Vodka again to give everyone a second round. 

“Just think of it like this, once you’re done it’s your turn” and I look at Mike while Dylan pours me a shot.

“Whatever you know whatever” Mike says and I get up to get my makeup bag from the bathroom.

“Lucky for you I hardly wear makeup. I have foundation, eyeliner, mascara and some lipgloss I never use.” and I look at his horrified face. “Dylan would you please give him the chair for this?” I ask him.

“Of course you may lady” and I see from the corner of my eye that Eric is not amused at his friends way of talking to me.

“Mike get in” and when he does I sit on the armrest.

“Oh this isn’t too bad” he says lookin at my legs. I ignore him and apply foundation. When that’s done I give him a nice catwing and apply mascara. Finishing touch of lipgloss.

“Tadaaa may I introduce Michelle” and I stand up. Mike looks at us with deadly eyes. Everybody is roaring with laughter.

“Damn girl that is a nice catwing” Robyn says through the laughter. Mike gets up and stands really close to me and his face turns into a grin.

“My turn, y/n truth or dare” and he looks at me with a look that says don’t you dare choose dare. 

“Fine, truth this time” I say knowing what's to come. He looks at me with a devilish look.

“Girl what have you done?” Robyn says. “Yeah truly what have you done?” Eric says looking at me with big eyes.

“Truth it is, what is your biggest turn on? Tell us y/n the European girl that gives the best head” he says with a huge smirk.

I sit on the bed and shake my head “oh my lord Mike” 

“You have to answer” he says looking ridiculous with that makeup on.

“Yes fine I will” and everybody is shocked.

“You will?” Robyn asks and next to her Eric looks at me quite baffled.

“Yeah well I’ve put makeup on him so” and I shrug. 

“Ok biggest turn on would be if a guy is bold and you know not afraid to show me how he feels” I say looking at everyone in the room. Eric has one brow raised and I can see his mind race through his eyes.

“Ha so you want to be pushed against a wall and just raawr” Mike goes making me and everybody else burst out in laughter.

“Dude there is so much wrong with you” Dylan says and I second that, so does the rest.

“My turn, Eric truth or dare?” I say looking at him sucking in my lips.

“Man pick truth so we can turn this real dirty” Mike says making Erik hit him on the arm.

“Truth” he says smiling. 

“Okay, tell me about your first real kiss” I say smiling back at him. He looks at me with big eyes hesitant to answer. 

“Really that’s what you want to ask not something else, less Mikey” he says with a small smile.

“Rude” Mike says.

“Nope nothing else” I say grinning at Robyn who looks at me like oooh watch out with him.

“Fine I’ll tell you. It was in a park.” he says looking down on his cup. “I was sitting with this girl and we just had something to eat there together” 

My heart starts to pound and I look at Eric. Is he saying I’m his first kiss? I try to put on a poker face for the rest.

“I remember I had a hot chocolate.” and he looks at me with red cheeks. I try to act as normal as possible but my stomach is spinning like a washer machine and my heart is doing jumping jacks. 

“And I personally think it was a very good first kiss” he says before he walks over to the desk to fill his cup. 

“Okay but that's about where it was, tell us about the kiss” Robyn says curious and blissfully unaware.

“What is there to say, we kissed each other like at the same time sort of. I remember my heart was in my throat because I was really happy that she wanted to kiss me too” Eric says sweetly while looking at Robyn.

“That sounds like a great first kiss” Erik says making us turn all our heads towards him. “What I can’t say that?” and he looks away fidgeting with his fake gun.

“Eric talking about a kiss and you say that, sounds a bit gay” Dylan says sassily. 

“That’s so mean” Robyn says snickering.

“My turn” Eric says “truth or dare Robyn” he asks.

“Fine I’ll pick truth too” she says confident.

“Who in this room do you think is most handsome, from the guys” Eric says with a smirk. And I snap a picture of Robyn with my camera.

“Oh the camera’s” Dylan says and he gets his.

I see how Robyn looks at Dylan and when she turns to look at me I wink at her.

“Dylan” Robyn says.

“Yeah what’s up” Dylan says looking up from his camera. Everybody looks at him in silence with raised brows. Dylan looks at all off us pretty confused.

“Well that went flying over his head” Eric says chuckling.

“You can say that again” I say holding my hand in front of my mouth.

“Wait did you mean” Dylan says pointing at his chest. “Oh I’m sorry I didn't get that.” and his cheeks turn bright red.

“That’s odd because you’re very handsome Dylan” I say smiling avoiding Eric’s eyes. 

“Please stop” Dylan says shyly. “My turn I guess, Mike truth or dare?” and Erik throws his arms up like hello. “Oh sorry man” Dylan says chuckling.

“Dare and my lips are ready” Mike says looking at me.

“Dude, get the hint already, you’re not kissing her” Eric says with his own camera in his hand. He points it towards me and presses the button. 

“Oh wow too close dude” I say smiling. 

“I dare you to let someone hit you in the face” Dylan says and Mike’s smile drops from his face.

Like Mike did earlier Erik now says “I volunteer” waving his hand in the air. 

“I’m gonna go with Robyn, thank you very much. At least then I can pretend I smacked her ass or something” Mike says looking ridiculous still with the makeup.

Robyn gets up with Mike and walks to him and hits him in the face immediately. No warning no nothing. Making us all gasp. Mike places his hand on his cheek and sits back down. “Well fuck me then” Mike says.

“Now that was fun” Robyn says. 

“My turn and dammit y/n you’re it again” he says yelling making us all laugh.

“Truth and let that be the last of this bullshit” I tell Mike. 

“When did you lose your virginity and how was it?” Mike says very satisfied with himself.

I squint my eyes and say “who says I’m not still a virgin?” the room is silent.

“You’re 20 and from Europe, cut the crap” Mike says looking at me intensely while rubbing his face. Making me and the rest except for Eric laugh.

“Fine fine” I say licking my lips “I was 16 and all I will say is that it didn't last long” I say looking around at all the faces. Eric has a weird look on his face which I think is jealousy but I could be wrong. 

“Only 16?” Mike says but continues on another note when he sees my face “now that this shit is over excuse me while I wash my face” and he a-lines for the bathroom. We all start to use our camera’s the cd player is now on radio and the music is on on the background. I sit on the bed with Robyn while we have some snacks together. Eric sits on the foot of the bed talking to Dylan and Erik got more snacks and joins me and Robyn. After 10 minutes Mike comes out of the bathroom all natural looking again. We’re chatting on and the atmosphere is so good. Everyone seems to have a good time. I crawl over to Eric and place my arm around him, he looks at me a bit startled.

“Look I brought you guys snacks.” and I give Eric what I’m holding. “Dylan is that one bottle all gone or is there another round in it?” I ask him smiling. He smiles back and pulls out the bottle.

“Enough for one more round” he says and he fills my cup a bit and asks who else wants some. He walks away off to the rest leaving me there with my arm still around Eric. He looks at me with happy eyes.

“Thank you so much for all of this” he says licking his lips. If only we were alone. 

“You’re so welcome” I say sweetly. A flash and we both turn our heads Erik was sneaky enough to get in front of us. I get up to put some coke with my vodka and say “Okay everyone, camera war” and I snap a picture of Mike and Dylan. Robyn instantly gets with it and snaps one off Eric and Erik. This goes on for a little while until we all just have a few pictures left on our cameras. 

“Everyone get on the bed” I say to all of them and they do so, Dylan and Mike in the back, Robyn and Erik before them and Eric at the foot of the bed. “Everyone say happy birthday” 

“Happy birthday Eric” they all say at the same time and I make a group picture of them. 

“Okay now let's try that while I do this.” and I sit next to Eric and turn the camera to make a selfie holding it up high “say cheese” I say and Mike is the only one that says “fromage” 

Now we’re all on the bed and Robyn says “hey y/n tell me something funny about you.” 

I turn my body facing Eric and the rest behind me and I say “oh uhm I don’t know, let me think.” and I look down on my foot that Mike drew on making me smile. “I used to always climb stuff from when I was like 12 to 15” I say to her.

“What kind of stuff?” Erik asks.

“Statues, trees, buildings if I could. Basically anything” I say smiling.

“Ah and then when you were 16 you though what else can I climb. Am I right?” Mike asks with a nasty smirk on his face.

“How do your parents cope with you around all the time?” Eric asks him annoyed. Mike just shrugs.

“This one time I was in the park with my parents and there was a huge tree cut down and the tree trunk was so thick it was almost 2 meters in width. I got on and started to walk across it but I slipped and fell off. I landed so hard on my back I ended up in the hospital with a back and neck brace on for hours and they took a million xrays. It was awful it took me a month before I could walk without back pain.” looking at their faces they are a mixture between fear and awe. 

“Oh my lord that must have been awful, did you break anything?” Robyn asks.

“Nope nothing. I broke my leg years later when I was in a playground and I got thrown off a thing that spins around very fast. I needed surgery twice, first to set the bone with screws and a plate and the second time to take it all out.” and I nod yes.

“Wow epic” Erik says.

“Not so much I was in a wheelchair for more than 3 months. Crutches for over 7” and I stick out my tongue in disgust. 

“How did your parents react when you said you wanted to go to America alone?” Erik asks innocently.

I look at Eric and his mouth opens a bit his eyes look worried “dude she doesn’t like to talk about personal things” Robyn says.

“Uhm it’s okay just this once” I say smiling. “My mom was pretty supportive of me coming here” and I look at Dylan who stares at the camo blanket. “She was very sad but understood really well why I had to do this. My dad however. We were always very tight, it was us against the rest always” I say with a little chuckle. “He stopped talking to me the second I told him about my plans to come here.” and I look at Eric who looks sad and astonished. “He didn't even come say goodbye” I say swallowing hard “but this was too important for many reasons” I say feeling my eyes well up a bit. 

“That’s right, you can always go back right” Robyn says kindly “visit him if you do stay like you said” and Eric’s eyes pierce through mine his mouth slightly open. I just smile at both Eric and Robyn. 

“Well that’s sad and I have to go actually.” Erik says promptly “I have a stricter curfew due to certain grades” he says getting up from the bed. “He’s my ride” Mike says following Erik. “Actually mine too” Robyn says “Unfortunately”.

“Uhm I could drop you two off if you want to stay a little bit?” Dylan says to her and Mike.

“Nah man I came with him so I’ll go home with him” Mike says. 

“Would you mind Erik?” Robyn asks him.

“No of course not stay if you want” Erik says putting on his coat. Mike does the same.

“Y/n this was awesome, the cake pops where delicious and you really made this room look awesome” Erik says before shyly giving me a hug. “You can plan a surprise party for me too next year” 

“Yes everything was amazing. Eric is one lucky dude with someone like you” Mike says hugging me tightly. “Everyone have a good night and see you all soon” Mike says and he walks out with Erik. Leaving Robyn, Dylan, Eric and myself behind. Mike peaks in one last time and says “come on y/n just one kiss” and Eric throws a pillow at his face making us all laugh and Mike curse.

After they close the door a few balloons fall down. Sparking a balloon throw fest between us four. Eric gets really competitive trying to hit us all and Robyn and I just hit the balloons in any direction we can, Dylan is a little passive in the game and just sits back and looks at us mostly.

“I’m getting too old for this crap” I say feeling a bit dizzy “or it’s the alcohol” I say laughing. Making the rest laugh.

“This was really awesome” Robyn says. “Did you have fun?” she asks Eric.

“It was the best, seriously. The best birthday I’ve had in years.” he says looking at me and I smile looking back at him. Robyn leans up and whispers something in Dylan’s ear. He doesn’t look too amused but when she looks at him he smiles and says “I don’t know maybe” 

I fill up my cup and ask the others if they want something. That’s when Dylan says “I think we should head out. I’ll drop you off and then I should head home” a small smile on his face. I wonder if it’s because of what Robyn said.

“I’ll help you clean up before I go” Eric says smiling. 

“I appreciate that” smiling back at him. Robyn and Dylan put on their coats. 

“I can’t believe he bought you a playboy” Robyn says laughing.

“Yeah jesus christ what an idiot” Eric says laughing as well. Eric and I see out Dylan and Robyn. When we close the door Eric doesn’t waste any time and he comes over to me. Pulling me in by my waist.

“You are absolutely unbelievable do you know that?” he says looking at me with a very serious face. I pull my headband off and his as well. “This was so great, I can’t even tell you what it meant to me” and he leans in to kiss me. “Really I can’t” and he kisses me again.

Placing my arms around his neck I say “we should clean up” smiling.

“Yeah we should” and he leans in and kisses me again. Heated and passionately this time. Pulling back he walks over to the desk and closes the bags of the snack. I pull off the camo blankets and fold them back. Placing them on the chair. I put Eric’s gifts all together and place them on top of the blankets. Eric takes the empty bottles and places them all in a plastic bag along with the empty snack packs. I place the cups and plates in the same bag he’s holding. Putting the bag by the door. I look up at the balloons. “I’m popping those tomorrow, I can’t be bothered right now” and I look at Eric who’s smiling. “Come on let's get our faces cleaned” and we walk to the bathroom. I take all the stuff I placed there and put it on the floor. Wetting a small towel to clean Eric’s face. I take his head in my hand and start to clean off the facepaint. He looks into my eyes and smirks. “What?” I ask him but he shakes his head “no come on tell me” but he says nothing. “Do I have to use the pout?” I say dead serious while cleaning the last of the swipe off. 

“Don’t do that.” he says smiling “I was just looking at you, thinking how beautiful you are” 

“Oh.” I say softly.

“I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier how beautiful you look. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen” he says smiling. The air thickens between us.

“Stop don’t be silly” I say his mother's words ringing in my head  _ he’s in love with you.  _

Eric looks in the mirror and sees he’s all done. “Here give that to me” he says about the towel and he wets it on the opposite side to clean my face. Holding my chin in between his thumb and pointer finger. Then he stops wiping and just looks at me. “Y/n” he says.

“Yes” I say with a smile.

“I think uhm. I know that I’m.” and he looks at what he’s doing very nervous. My mind is going crazy. 

“You what?” I ask him anxiously.

“I’m done” he says holding his breath not wanting to say what he intended to and I turn to look at the both of us in the mirror. He does the same and I smile at our reflections before I walk out of the bathroom with my eyes closed. Eric follows me and then I feel his hands on my hips, he comes up closer behind me. Leaning his head on my shoulder his lips in my neck, the first touch is enough to send electricity through my body. His arms close around me, one hand below my belly button and the other on my waist. He holds me tight and starts to kiss my neck. “I’m sorry. Some moments must have been hard for you” he says against my neck. I place my hands over his and lean back against him.

“Well you can make it up to me” I say softly. He kisses my neck again.

“Tell me how” and he lets his lips find the back of my neck.

“By cashing in that gift certificate somewhere later this year” 

“Hmm” he says before coming back to just below my ear “going to a concert with you does sound amazing. Everything together with you sounds perfect” and at those words I turn my head to face him. He looks at me and he turns me around completely. I want to speak but every word I want to say gets stuck in my throat. Eric kisses me intensely and I give in without a second thought. My hands on his chest as he holds me close to him. He starts to walk until I feel the back of my legs touch the bed. I sit down and look up at him. Pushing myself back on the bed Eric crawls up the bed on his hands and knees. His hand caressing my leg as he comes up to line his face above mine. I’m still sitting as we sink into a deep and slow kiss. Eric pushes me down firmly knowing exactly what he wants. He kisses me in my neck again and goes up to my ear “they way you kissed me this morning” and now he takes my earlobe in between his lips. A small whimper rolls over my lips. “I want you so bad, you have no idea” and his hand goes up to my chest and he cups me over my shirt. He starts to growl, his thumb rubs over my breast and he feels my reaction making him hungry for so much more. The kissing gets sloppy and against the side of my leg I can feel him hard for me. I pull up my leg and Eric’s hand goes from my breasts down to my leg. I’m starting to get really hot and when I pull away from the kiss he looks down confused but then I arch my back and pull my shirt over my head showing him myself in a black lacy bra. Looking at me I can see the lust build up in his eyes. He leans down to kiss the exposed skin. His lips over the sensitive skin leaving wet kisses everywhere his hand starts to squeeze my thigh and slowly he makes his way up on my leg while he makes my heart race with his lips all over me. My hand on his head and I place the other over his hand on my thigh. He looks up and with open mouth he asks “Is that okay?”. I answer him by kissing him and letting his hand run up under my skirt, his mouth opens when I turn his hand inwards between my legs. A moan escapes his lips when he has his hand between my legs. He stops what he’s doing to look at me. Full of desire I bite my lip and open my legs for him, he looks down and back at me, pressing his hand against me I moan softly and he closes his eyes as he starts to move his hand over my panties. Up and down he goes while he bends down to kiss me again. It doesn’t take long before he moves his hand up to take off my panties I buck my hips up to make it easier for him. He’s completely silent while he takes my panties off and he looks at my face nervously that he might do something wrong. He doesn’t look down. My skirt still covering me while he lets my panties drop beside him on the bed. His hand goes up again and this time he raises my skirt as well but he’s hesitating. 

“Eric I want you to touch me” I tell him and I see he wants to but something stops him. “What’s wrong?” I ask him taking his chin in my hand. 

“I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to disappoint you” he says embarrassed. 

“Eric” and I take his hand in mine and place it between my legs, his eyes grow wide as he looks at me. “Feel my reaction to you”. This pushes him over the edge and he starts to move his hand, letting his thumb run over my opening and he bites his lip. He leans down and kisses me over my bra while his fingers explore the new world I opened for him. He’s eager now that he feels reassured. He starts to use his fingers in different ways, feeling me for the first time. I moan at his touch. He feels uncoordinated but when he lets a finger enter me that doesn’t matter. He comes up to kiss me and I pull his head close to mine and his finger starts thrusting in and out of me. “More” I say desperate for his touch. He obliged by putting in another digit. My head falls back and I smile at his touch. He moves his fingers in and out making me go crazy. Eric’s eyes are dark and he looks at me finding so much pleasure in what he sees. A low grunt escapes his lips. I look at him and down at his pants and without hesitation I start to open his pants. Eric stops moving altogether and looks at my hands. Now it’s my turn to ask “is this okay?” he nods yes and I open his zipper immediately. I see his black briefs and his hard on. I palm him over his briefs first. His eyes close and his hand stops moving. Lying half underneath Eric I let my hand go in his briefs and touch him. His breath gets labored and I start to pump his full length kissing Eric as I do, this seems to spark him back into action because he starts to move his fingers again making me moan against his lips, he bites my bottom lip in response. I let my hand go up and down in a steady pace and when I come up to the tip I feel his precum and let my hand go over it so it goes back down wet. This makes him whimper and he mutters “fuck that feels so good” against my lips. Letting his fingers slip deep inside me he starts to rub above my entrance with his finger finding my sensitive spot every other rub. I start to pump faster as I start to get lost in my own pleasure and when Eric starts to kiss me wet and sloppy I lose myself completely. Tightening my grip around him I keep pleasuring him while he feels me inside eager and longing. “Oh shit I’m close” he says hot blooded and I push him on his back his fingers slipping out of me and I push his shirt up so he can spill over his thin but defined abdomen. His hips sticking out while they buck up a little as I keep pumping him steady and firm before he cums over himself and my hand. His mouth is open and his breath is labored. I let go of him and bite my lip as I look at him. He sits up on his elbows and looks down at himself. I get up to get him a clean towel and when I give it to him he pulls me down making me fall on the bed. He places the towel on his abdomen before he leans in to kiss me. He pulls back and bites his lip. 

“I should go clean up a bit” I say with a cracking voice. 

“Actually I kinda want to make you a little more dirty” he says looking at my legs and back at my face.

“Hmm don’t tempt me Harris” and I get up. 

“Why not?” he asks with a smirk. 

“Because I will be held accountable” I say walking towards the bathroom.

“Oh yeah that’s right” he says placing the towel over his lap so I don’t see any bare skin anymore. In the bathroom I bite my lip and place my hands in my hair. I want to clean up immediately. I take my hair down though because it’s a mess. Getting back into the room with Eric he’s standing with his pants all decent again. That lopsided smile on his face as he looks at me. I walk back in a little shy, which I’m not used to feeling. Not even in situations like this. Eric walks up to me and stops right in front of me. “This settles it, best birthday ever” he says smiling while he holds his hands behind his back.

“Just imagine how all coming birthday’s could be” I say letting my arms creep around his waist.

“All birthday’s with you there? That sounds too good to be true” he says smiling. I kiss him tender and lovingly.

“As long as you want me on your birthday I’ll be there” I tell him smiling. 

His arms go around me pulling me in “are you serious?” he asks sounding lonely and afraid.

I take his face in my hands and place my forehead on his “I promise, Ik hou van jou Eric Harris” 

“See that’s unfair, I need to learn a language you don’t speak so I can say things you don’t understand. Like french or something.” he chuckles. 

“Malheureusement pour toi. Je parle aussi français.” I say smiling.

“You have gotta be kidding me.” he says throwing his hands in the air. “I give up you win” he says smiling.

“There is such a thing as just telling me what you’re thinking. You know that right?” I say wanting to create an opening for him. 

“Says the one that keeps speaking her native tongue to me” he retorts back at me.

“Oh touche” I say to him. “When do you have to go home?” I ask him.

“Not too soon why?” he asks peaceful. I walk over to him and take his hand while I walk back to the bed with him. I crawl on the bed and he does the same. I take the covers up and settle underneath them with him beside me. He lays on his back and I get comfortable in his arm. 

“Hold me please” I ask him. Responding immediately he holds me tight against him, wrapping both his arms around me. “That’s perfect” I whisper against his chest. 

“Can you believe that I missed you yesterday?” Eric asks nervously.

“I can” I tell him looking up at his face. 

Meeting my eyes he asks “really?”.

“Yes because I missed you too.” I say looking into his eyes, he smiles less nervous. “Eric, please don’t leave” 

“I’ll stay don’t worry” he says kissing my forehead.

“No I didn't mean just now” I say scared. Eric looks down and into my eyes he looks vulnerable and kisses my forehead again but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he holds me close to him letting me hear the sound of his heartbeat.


	16. Status updates, anger and love.

A soft feeling of warmth against my neck wakes me from the sleep that pulled me into its loving arms. I stir a little, still resisting to wake up. Until that feeling returns in my neck this time making a gentle noise. My eyes open slowly and the first thing I see are his arms around me. Eric’s arms. Soon I realize the warmth is his breath against my neck as he leaves little kisses and words there for me to keep safe. My eyes fall shut again longing for a rest so safe next to him. My ears start to pick up what he’s saying but my heart can’t catch up.

“I can’t do this, I’m lost.” his soft voice says against my skin. He exhales a breath that came from his deep inner being. His arms tighten around me, his nose settles under my ear. Eric whispers my name “Y/n” a pause follows “I want to tell you I love you but I can’t” his lips leave a burning mark right under my ear. He’s going to realize I’m awake because my heart is beating so fast calling out for him with every beat.  _ He loves me, he wants to tell me.  _ Right when I want to pretend to wake up I jerk up at the three loud knocks on the door. Eric behind me just as shocked as I am. Looking at Eric and at the door I wonder who that could be, if it’s Dylan we’re in deep shit.

“Go hide in the bathroom” I whisper to Eric.

“What why?” he asks suspicious.

“It could be Dylan I don’t know” I whisper in a slight panic, Eric shuts his eyes and nods.

“You’re right” and he moves into the bathroom real quick. Walking up to the door my heart is still pounding in my chest, Eric’s words are on a loop in my head. When I open the door my heart drops to my feet immediately. The agency has send someone my way at this hour. My eyes move between the oval badge and the woman’s face. Another new face.

“Y/n Hunter?” she asks in a rather soft voice.

“Yes that’s me” I tell her anxious to what she has to tell me.

“I hold a message from Jack Le Temps for you.” She says getting her papers ready. 

“Yes” I get out with her and close the door behind me “someone from my mission is here” I say softly.

“Very well, I’ll speak in a hushed tone.” getting the right paper in front of her. “Right this is the message” she says clearing her throat.

“Y/n Hunter, I want to hereby inform you that the situation with Justin Lahey is taken care off. His father is transferred for work overseas to England. They leave April 10th on a twelve o’clock flight. He is no longer a code 51 to your mission. On to the next point. The council has spoken in regards to the change of certain rules for your specific mission. The rule that forbids physical intimacy or sexual intercourse will be suspended for this mission only with the restriction that it is granted between you Y/n Hunter and Eric Harris. Physical intimacy and or sexual intercourse between you and anybody else is still prohibited. For now the council is still debating whether you’re allowed to share your knowledge about the connection you share with Eric Harris. So for now the same rules still apply for that matter. Last part of this message, the chances of your success grow every day, we have reasonable suspicions that this mission is on its way to success. Both of the subjects of this mission are heading towards a better path for the world. Unfortunately I am not at liberty to disclose anything further. - Jack Le Temps. End of message number one” the lady says overwhelming me not only with the message but also with the fact that there’s a second message apparently.

“Message number two, the final message reads as following” she says flipping the page.

“You are making me proud. - Jack Le Temps. End of message” she says again. “Are both of these messages clear?” she asks getting her pen ready.

“Crystal” I say absent mindedly, so far gone in my own thoughts I hardly see her standing right in front of me. Without being there mentally I sign the papers and fold them up. Collecting my calm as she goes off in her car. Knowing I cannot tell Eric about everything in this message. I’m aware of the fact that I will have to tell him something. Justin Lahey is good news. He’ll be pleased to know he no longer forms a threat whatsoever. Knowing the pain of having to leave friends behind he might be pleased even. I open the door and get back inside. Eric isn’t in the room so I suspect he’s in the bathroom still. 

“Eric?” I call out. He opens the door off the bathroom faster than I’ve ever seen anyone open a door before. 

“Yeah, was that Dylan?” he asks nervous. I walk up to the bed and let myself fall down on my back.

“Nope, it was someone from the agency” I say placing my arm over my eyes. Eric walks up to me and sits down on the bed next to me.

“Already, so fast after what we just did?” he asks in a panic. I jerk back up on my elbows and smile at him.

“No, well in way but no this wasn’t a direct message after what we just did.” and I run a finger over his nose which he scrunts as I do so. “They wouldn’t know so fast” 

“Yeah how do they know?” he asks but quickly waves that away “first tell me what they did come to tell. Can you talk about the connection?” he asks with big eyes.

“Slow down champ. I’ll tell you don’t worry.” I say smiling. “They’re not watching us directly if that’s what you were thinking, there’s a very complicated way they get their information about what’s happening with us right now. Maybe I can get Jack to explain it to you once..In June though.” and I smirk at him. “The message consisted of three things. The first being Justin Lahey” and at the mention of that name Eric gets up from the bed and his blood pressure rises quickly.

“Tell me he’s dead” he asks semi serious.

“He is not dead, his father got transferred for his job overseas.” I tell Eric and his face becomes softer.

“In hell I hope” he says impatiently to where it is he was send to. I get on my knees and pull Eric down so he sits on the bed.

“Calm down babe” I say smiling and he reacts to me calling him babe with a smile that forms on his mouth and fists that unclench. “They will leave for England today, that’s how fast the agency works. Justin Lahey is gone.” I tell him. Eric looks at his hands. “He’s not dead which has your twisted preference but he did have to leave everyone and everything behind. We both know how painful that is so maybe that’s something” I say with a crooked smile. Eric looks up at me and licks his lips with one hand in his side.

“Am I rubbing off on you or something, that’s quite evil what you just said.” he chuckles.

“Yeah well he’s a horrible guy he deserves to feel like shit, I just hope he will learn his lesson. The agency will keep an eye on him, I’m sure. They’re thorough like that.” I nod at him. “The second issue addressed is that the council has decided to.” and I pout while I think about how to word the next part. “Not put consequences to our physical contact” I tell Eric who looks at me but then lowers his head.

Tilting his head back to me his eyes are sparkling “now that is good news.” he says smiling “now I don’t have to worry so goddamn much after every kiss.” he blurts out and I can tell by his expression he did not mean to say that.

“You did that? Worry after every kiss?” I ask him scooting closer to him. 

“Well I mean yeah.” he admits “I was afraid you’d get in trouble and I’ve also told you about that right” he says looking into my eyes. 

“I know, you did. That’s one less worry on your shoulders which makes me happy” I tell him.

“It does?” Eric asks genuine surprise on his face.

“Yes Harris, it does. Maybe you didn't get the memo but I care about you. Lotsies.” I say smiling at him.

“I hoped I didn't misunderstood the memo” he says insecure. “What is lotsies?” he asks confused looking at me for an answer. I sit next to him with my knee half over his leg.

“It’s like a little only a lot” I explain before giving him a kiss “no worries anymore right?” I ask before kissing him again. He leans in against my lips with his right hand on my leg.

“Nope” he says smiling against my lips. After a deep gentle kiss he pulls back “what about the connection or the third part of the message?” he asks raising his hand up to my face, to trace every line on there with his thumb with a smile on his face. Enjoying the freedom he has to do this now. 

“They’re still debating whether I can tell you or not. So for now I’m still not allowed to say anything unfortunately” when his thumb gets close to my lips I press a kiss on his thumb, holding his hand still against my lips. I see his lips part as I do so, his brows rising. I plant another lingering and teasing kiss on his thumb and I see his breath getting stuck in his throat. I smile devilish as I stop making him shake his head.

“Your mother is going to make you invite me for dinner one of these days” I say with a smirk.  _ I want to tell you I love you.  _

“What, how would you know?” he asks eyes narrowing.

“Where do you think I made the cake?” I say with a smirk. Eric’s mouth opens wide and he pulls back.

“You went to my house to bake the cake?” he asks in disbelief. “What with my mother home?”

“Yes times two. Your mother is sweet Eric.” I tell him. He shakes his head.

“Unbelievable” he says but there’s already a smile forming on his face. “She is” he then adds. “You just went to my house to make those cake pops.. You’re really something. Did you talk to my mom?” he asks curious but apprehensive over what might have been said. With good reason actually.

“No I just spend time in your room waiting for the cake to be done” I say sucking in my lips. 

“You” and he gets up placing his hands on his hips “were in my room? Did you?” and he’s starting to trip over his words. Making it impossible for me to stay serious. “You’re joking, giving me a heart attack.” he says before sitting back down. “Don’t do that woman” he says smiling while he looks at me with a brow raised.

“I’m sorry, no I just sat with your mom and told her about our little thrift shop adventure. She was quite impressed I got you to do that.” I smile at him. “I wore the Ventura blouse you bought me” 

“You did huh, yeah I bet she was impressed, I hate those places.” and he pulls me in to sit next to him. “Everything is just better when you’re there” he says smiling that lopsided smile just for me.

“Likewise Eric” and I place my head on his shoulder. 

“I have to go home unfortunately” he says reluctantly. Pouting I pull my head off of his shoulder and he closes his eyes when he sees me do so. “Nope not looking” he says getting up making me smile.

“Fine, I’m gonna go get a haircut today, how about I go short short?” I ask Eric as a joke. He turns his head with squinted eyes.

“Please don’t go short, I love your hair like this” he looks at me and our eyes grow wide at the same time.

“You what?” I ask with a lump in my throat while getting up from the bed.

“I uhm.” and he laughs nervously “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have” and he shakes his head. “I just really like your hair like this okay” he says with red cheeks.

“Sure I was only kidding so.” and I look at the floor a little discouraged that he took it back. I see his feet before mine and feel his arms around me. My eyes fall closed as I lean into the hug. I feel his hand go up into my hair. A kiss on my cheek before he lets go of me. 

“I’m picking you up for dinner, if my mom wants to invite you why not today. I’ll be here around 3, is that okay?” he asks walking over to his coat.

“Perfect” I tell him trying to hide my disappointment. He feels something is off though. He smiles and waves as he goes outside and closes the door behind him. I let myself fall back unto the bed, exhausted with everything. Eric telling me he can’t tell me he loves me is really messing with me, why can’t he tell me? What is stopping him? I fear he still wants to go through with everything and that’s what’s stopping him. I push the thought away and roll over to my stomach. The messages from Jack go through my mind, how the chances are increasing that they will not go through with it. But no specifics which is confusing me. Then the personal note, he’s proud of me. He means a great deal to me and to know that he’s proud makes me extremely happy and gives me the idea that the chances really are becoming in our favor. It’s with great guilt that I admit to myself that with our favor I firstly think of Eric and I. Instead off all the innocent lives that would be saved when Eric and Dylan do not kick start a revolution where hundreds of innocent lives, teenage lives mostly get lost in the rage of desperate, mentally unwell and depraved minds. I think about Dylan and how he seemed so much closer to me. How it struck me as odd and out of character that he called me lady and came so close to my face with his. Not to mention him wanting to bolt out of here as soon as Robyn said whatever it was she said. I decide to put all my thoughts onto paper because I can not sort them out in my head. First I want to take a long shower and put on some clean clothes. In the shower my thoughts go back to Eric and me on the bed earlier. That hungry feeling in my core builds up again as I think about how he looked when I lifted him over the edge of pleasure. My eyes fall shut and my mouth curls up into a smile. No consequences. When I’m done I dry myself down and put on my shorts and Eric’s Rammstein shirt. Walking over to the desk my mind starts to run over every little thing I wanted to write down. 

Later that day before my haircut I sit outside with my cup of coffee as I watch people walk past me. The ordinarity off it all strikes me. We’re all just people but technically I’m not even born yet. It makes me smile and shiver at the same time. It’s becoming a theme to be lost in my own thoughs these days. So lost that I do not hear someone walk up behind me until I see him sit down next to me. 

“Dylan” I exclaim.

“That would be me. Saw you sitting here so I thought I’d say hi.” he says cheerfully. “Hi” he says looking down on me.

I’m perplexed to say the least. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask him.

“I needed to get something for my tux for prom” he says casually as he lights a cigarette. He holds the packet of smokes in my direction.

“No no, those things will kill you” I say taking a sip of my coffee.

“Yeah well so will blowing up a high school. I’m not too worried about the cigarettes.” Dylan says so emotionless he scares the hell out of me. Quickly I look around to see if anyone heard or not. “Relax.” he tells me “nobody heard, god you’re just like Eric” and he chuckles before taking a long drag of his smoke. I’m sitting here frightened and in utter shock at his words and demeanor.

“Dylan are you okay?” I ask lacking the words to ask anything else.

“I’m fine. I guess Eric’s not so blunt with you huh.” he says looking down the street. Watching people like I just did.

“No he is not.” I say shortly.

“Yeah that’s because he’s in love with you, he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Dylan says straightforward.

“Well” I say shocked “I guess we’re leaving out every trace of politeness in this conversation.” and I look up at him. Smoke coming out of his nostrils. Dylan doesn’t respond to that.

Instead he says “has Eric said anything to you about what happened?” he asks licking his lips while he pulls his shades out of his pocket and slides it up his nose.

“No” I say looking in front of me not knowing where this conversation is going or what to expect. 

“Well I doubt he even knows. We played cool yesterday but we’re not. He’s lying to me y/n. I know it” and he looks at me with thin lips and I can feel the anger inside him. “You told me you where with him and he said he was doing house chores.” he takes another drag. I keep looking in front of me trying to find my poker face. This is not good, not at all. “He tells me he has no feelings for you, that he’s still focussed on NBK but he’s lying through his goddamn teeth. Thinking I’m some kind of idiot.” anger growing in his voice.

“Dylan he doesn’t think you’re an idiot. He” but Dylan cuts me off.

“Don’t start that shit. He does think I’m an idiot. You only lie to idiots cause they’ll believe you.” his words are triggering me.

“Well the both of you are idiots.” I say looking straight at him, he looks back and he doesn’t have to take off his sunglasses for me to know his eyes are burning bullet holes through my skull. 

“Excuse me?” he says offended.

“Blowing up a school to end personal problems? You didn't want politeness so here goes. You never even wanted Eric in NBK.” I spew at him. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks sitting up straight making himself bigger trying to scare me off.

“I’m talking about the fact that I am a 100% convinced it was you who came up with NBK. Which doesn’t matter because Eric was just as much in this as you are but what does matter is your reason for NBK” I say enraged. Dylan just looks at me closely, jaw clenched shut and his hands balled into fists. “NBK is your way out, a way to ensure you have to die. That you can die. You’re not going to go rot in jail so bombing a school will make sure you’ll be able to pull the trigger. NBK is your insurance, your freedom in the form of death. A promise to yourself.” my whole body starts to shake.

Dylan leans forward and says “you watch your mouth”. This pushes me over the edge. I get up and stand right in front of him. He looks about ready to push me out of the way and storm off.

“You do not have to die Dylan. NBK is not the only destiny for you. There is so much more to you then the legacy you think you need to leave behind.” His mouth opens and he’s in doubt I can tell, does he yell at me to shut up or listen to what I have to say. “Goddammit Dylan.” and I throw my coffee on the floor next to me. “Don’t you get it. Don’t you and Eric get it.” I feel tears coming and I take a step back, I’m covered in coffee and so is Dylan’s trench coat. He looks down at his coat and back to me. “You two are worth so much fucking more than to let yourself be consumed by hate and this vengeance you both want.” I kick the coffee mug and a man walking by comes to us to ask if we’re okay.

“Yes we’re fine” I say and start to laugh like a maniac. Dylan gets up and in that sweet tone of voice he mastered he tells the stranger that I’m going through a rough time, making me laugh even more hysterical. When the man walks on however my laughter is dying down and I cross my arms looking at Dylan. Who looks back at me. His anger still on the surface but he seems more controlled than before. I place my hand in front of my mouth and start to cry. Dylan doesn’t know how to look at me now.

“Suicide is a permanent end to a temporary problem .” I say through my sobs. His brows draw together and he looks down. “There is love and happiness for you out there Dylan. Depression is not an endgame it’s a fucked up station in the train ride through life.” Dylan takes a step back and his head falls down. “Don’t do this, don’t let Eric do this. I push my hand against my mouth trying not to cry out. Dylan takes another step back and he looks at me. 

He starts to shake his head and his posture closes down completely. “Eric is free to do as he pleases. He lied to me. To me.” he spews at me. “So you tell him that I know he is. Next time you see him. When he doesn’t have time for me or our war..” Dylan immediately turns around after he said that and walks off leaving me there all alone with my heart scattered all over the place and tears streaming down my cheeks. Trying to pull myself together I turn around to my rental and drive back to my motel room. Once I’m inside the room I realize this outburst of mine may have ruined everything, I don’t even bother locking the door before I collapse crying on the bed. I didn't even bother taking off my coffee stained clothes or jacket. I stay there crying quietly alone. Until after what feels like forever I hear a knock on my door. The clock says it's almost 3 so it’s Eric. All curled up I scrape my throat and manage to say “It’s open”. Walking in all happy, he soon loses all color in his face as he sees me on the bed. A little hesitant he comes in walking towards the bed. 

“What happened? Y/n are you okay?” he asks worried but I can’t find the strength to answer him. Overcome with sadness and fear that I ruined everything my eyes well up with tears again and I turn my head so I can bury my face in the bed covers. So Eric can’t see me. “Are you crying?” he asks and he places his hand on my arm making me weep. He pushes me back a little trying to turn me to face him. “Y/n please, talk to me? Did I do something wrong?” he asks scared that he’s the cause for my pain. I face him and try to tell him he did nothing wrong but the words don’t come out. Making me mad at myself for having lost the grip on myself so badly. Pushing myself up I sit in front of Eric cross-legged but I still look down.

“I’m so sorry I screwed up” and I raise my hands up in front of my face as tears keep flowing freely over my cheeks.

“What happened?” Eric asks carefully.

“He’s was so mad and I said all those things. I’ve ruined everything Eric.” I say trying to wipe away the tears to no avail because they keep coming. 

“Who is he and what did you say?” he asks getting a little impatient but trying so hard.

“Dylan, I had a fight with him” I go through my hair with my hands “he just said something so harsh and scary out of nowhere and I got so triggered by it.” a whimper escapes my lips “I said things and you’ll hate me for it” I start to cry while I look up at him. “He is so angry and he even told me to say to you that he knows you’re lying to him.” I lean forward with my face in my hands. Eric’s arm goes around me.

“Hey stop that I could never hate you” he says a little nervous. “You need to calm down” and he pulls me in. “Come here” he says pulling me in his arms, my ear next to his heart. I can hear his frantic heartbeat. I need to get a grip again, Eric’s scent and arms make me feel more at ease but panic is still holding me in a tight grip. Letting myself calm down in his arms I take a little while to collect myself. Soon enough I feel myself getting back together again. I get up from the bed and tell Eric I want to wash my face. He stands up and walks with me to the bathroom. Splashing some water in my face I can see he never takes his eyes off of me. Sitting back down on the bed I tell Eric in a semi calm matter what happened, how it all started and what I had sad. I even tell him that Dylan said Eric loved me. The only thing I leave out is the whole part about Dylan not wanting Eric for NBK and that I think he came up with NBK. I do however admit to Eric that I said to Dylan that I think his reasons for NBK are selfish and have nothing to do with a two man war against the world. To my big surprise Eric stays rather calm. His body language changes completely the more I tell him but he does stay calm. Shamefully I tell him about the coffee flying everywhere as well and he looks at my clothes and a small grin appears on his face.

“Why are you smiling?” I ask him confused.

“I just, I can’t believe that you flew off the handle like that. You’re always so in control of yourself.” he says softly.

“I’m glad my suffering amuses you” I say dramatically. 

He tilts his head “you know it’s not like that. I can’t believe Dylan, behaving like that. I’m furious with him” he says losing the playfulness he still possessed a few seconds ago. “Saying all those things” the muscles in his jaw start to twitch. 

I know I can’t let this moment go by without mentioning what happened 20 years ago in less then two weeks. 

“Eric the carnage you two have been planning for months and months is in little over a week.” his eyes meet mine and I can’t read them. Is there panic in his eyes? He doesn’t say anything he just looks at me. “Eric” I say almost begging. Eric looks at me.

“Yeah” he says.

“I don’t want you to do this. I want you to stay, with the people that love you.” I grab his hands and hold them in mine, he avoids my eyes. “Eric” I say letting my hand go up to his cheek like I did that second day I came here. He now looks at me despair written in his eyes. “I want you to stay with me” I say to him completely crushed and overcome with fear. He closes his eyes and and lets his hands go up to cup my face making my heart swell up three sizes. Coming closer to my face he stops right in front of my lips with his, eyes still closed. “I’m so afraid” I whisper against his lips. That’s when he opens his eyes and his posture changes completely. He straightens his back never breaking eye contact. 

“I’m not, not anymore” and he presses his lips against mine letting me into his heart. The kiss is loving, desperate and the most intense kiss I’ve ever shared with anyone. His hands start to shake kissing me with passion and love. He breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes, a faint smile on his face. He swallows visible and rubs his nose against mine. “Everything was so clear before you came into my life. I thought it was at least. But now.” and he kisses my cheek multiple times before placing a flighty kiss on my lips “the only thing I can think about is what you mean to me, what I want to be for you” his hands still on my face, his thumbs caressing me. “I just don’t know where to go from here” Eric confesses with a shaky voice.

I want to believe he already made the first steps in the direction of him choosing to terminate his plans but I do not feel sure of myself, especially after my encounter with Dylan. So I play it safe.

“Promise me you’ll at least seriously consider stopping your plans, please Eric. I beg of you” a tear straight out of my soul rolls over my cheek.

“I will. I am.” tears filling his eyes, shaking his head yes. Now I allow myself a small smile against his lips before I kiss him.

“Thank you” and I kiss him again. “Thank you”

Eric’s eyes are still wet when he kisses me deeply again “don’t you see I have to.” and he wraps his arms around me keeping his forehead against mine “because I love you”.

Time freezes and all I hear is the sound of our heartbeats synchronizing. Letting my hands run to the back of his head, I smile brighter than ever before and I start to laugh so soft and lovingly. He looks a bit confused over my reaction and I give him a kiss. Another one, my lips gently pressed against his while I hold his head.

“One more” I say to him and now his lips curl up in a smile as well before he pulls me closer for another kiss. Pulling back I lick my lips and savor the loving taste coming from his lips. We stay silent until he breaks it.

“Say something please” and he looks so vulnerable.

“Harris Ik hou van jou” I say biting my bottom lip.

“Does that? From the first time you said it, is that?” his eyes are huge in shock his mouth wide open before he regains his posture. “Are you saying” but I cut him off with a kiss. A hungry passionate kiss. A growl from deep within Eric comes out as he feels the hunger in this kiss. He pushes me down on the bed and without much effort climbs on top of me, settling in between my legs. His hand on my hip caressing my thigh while he desperate for friction pushes himself down on me. A small moan rolls over my lips as I feel him harden against me, his lips make their way into my neck where he opens his mouth to taste my skin. I throw my head back fully in the moment before Eric pulls back, pupils so big his eyes are black.

“Coffee” he says panting before he starts to laugh in which he releases all the scary and lustful tension. Making me smile with him. “I hate how we've always been interrupted by something.” and he sits back up. Desperate for more I whine.

“No, come back.” which makes him growl softly in the back of his throat.

“I can’t I’m sorry, believe me. My parents are wondering where we are and you still need to clean yourself up.” he says responsibly.

“Oh shit I’m so sorry.” I say getting up. 

Eric shakes his head “don’t apologize” his eyes still pouting lust as he looks at me. I feel it’s time for a tease and instead of getting up from the bed to go get cleaned up I sit up and straddle him. He’s eyeing me over as I do so. Pressing myself down on him his eyes close and he lets out a small moan before he lets his hands run up my back underneath my clothes. I take off my shirt and discard it on the floor Eric’s eyes on the level of my bosom. So sure of himself he starts to kiss the skin just above my bra, down over my bra as he cups me with both his hands. His hands heatedly touching me, while his mouth follows after every move his hands make, pushing me backwards even to give himself complete access. I’m drifting off into the world off pleasure while he lets all his dreams come through on my wanting body. “Shit this is hot” he mutters in between kisses. He pulls the straps of my bra down and goes up with his mouth over my collarbone and onto my shoulder. I reach my hands back to unhook my bra and when he sees the sides fall down over my arms before I expose myself to him he says “no don’t” and I stop immediately. “If you do that, I’m not gonna be able to leave this room. I promise you.” making me bite my lip.

“Okay, okay babe” I say biting my bottom lip still. He looks away undoubtable scolding himself for stopping this. I get up from his lap and keep one hand on my bra as I turn around to go get clean clothes before taking a quick shower.

“You have a tattoo? he blurts out walking up to me. I turn my head to look at him when he’s closer tracing the delicate lines of my small tattoo.

“Yes, just the one” and his eyes go back and forth between my bare back and eyes. He wraps his arms around my naked belly and presses kisses on my shoulder. Making me lean back feeling him against me. 

“An hourglass how fucking appropriate he says smiling against my shoulder. “Go please before I can no longer contain myself.” and he lets go of me and I go straight into the bathroom with only clean underwear and a shirt in my hands. I quickly rinse myself with cold water, soap foaming over my body. Still afraid what will happen between Eric and Dylan I need to get out of this shower quickly so I’m not alone with my thoughts. Drying myself down, careful not to wet my hair while showering so his parents won’t get suspicious. I put on my clean underwear and shirt and realise I forgot my pants. Opening the bathroom door I say “Eric, I forgot my pants”

“Oh what a shame, guess you’ll have to come in here in your underwear.” and he chuckles. I smile in the bathroom before I say.

“Are you sure you want to see me walk by in a thong right now?” I say holding my laughter.

A long silence before he says “yeah I do”.

Well he said so, I exit the bathroom in a soft green basic v-neck shirt and no pants. I think he thought I was bluffing about coming in because his mouth falls open and his eyes are locked on my legs and when I turn to my dresser I feel his eyes on my ass.

“Damn woman” he says standing up. “Goddamn this dinner shit” he says annoyed making me chuckle. He walks in the bathroom and closes the door behind him. I realise my underwear is still in there. “Really, on the floor like that?” he yells out making me laugh really hard. When he gets back in he shakes his head at me while he looks me over now that I’m fully dressed. “You” he points at me “are gonna be the death of me.” and he chuckles when he goes to put on his coat.

“Poor choice of words, don’t say things like that. I hate it.” and I frown a little upset. He looks at me and sees I’m serious.

“I’m sorry I didn't mean to make you upset, I just. I should have thought about it better.” he says feeling guilty.

“I’ll forgive you because you’re so handsome” I say with a small smile.

“You think I’m handsome?” he blurts out. I walk over to him and give him a kiss with dramatic sound effects. 

“A little” I say winking at him. He blushes and smiles. I put on my coat and go outside. Locking the door behind me I take Eric’s hand as we walk to his car together. He looks down happily at our hands and laces our fingers together if only for five seconds before we reach the car. I tease him all the way to his house. 

“You’re so pretty” I say touching his nose. 

“Stop” he tells me.

“You looooove me” I say kissing his cheek.

“Stop that right now” he chuckles.

“Never schatje” I say smiling wide.

“Okay what does sketje mean?” he says looking at me. 

“I’ll tell you” and I take his right hand off the steering wheel giving it kisses.

“In fucking June” he finishes the sentence with a small smile.

“Yep” I say holding his hand in mine.

“Will you let me drive woman?” he asks pretending to be annoyed.

“Ooh you should let me drive” I say bouncing in my seat.

“Forget it, we’ll crash and burn and I’ll never learn what sketje means” he says and I stop bouncing all together. He just hinted at being there still in june. I can’t take this. He looks at me and he’s worried when he sees my face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing” I say and I lean in to plant one right on his mouth. “Everything is perfect” I tell him smiling.

“You sit back before we really do crash, have you lost your mind?” but he’s laughing through his seriousness. 

“You know you like it when I do stuff like that” I tell him.

“Obviously” he exclaims and turns to look at me with a brow raised. “Stop it though.” 

“There is a whole list I can think off to bother and tease you in the car” I say deviously.

“Yeah I can think of some things too” a smirk on his face when he turns to look at me. Two can play that game.

“Then we’re probably on the same page” I licking my lips. 

“Okay that’s it. No more talking” he says turning the volume up of KMFDM’s Waste. He smiles as he squeezes my hand tight before letting go. When he parks the car before his house he turn to look at me.

“One more” he says with a serious face, scaring me a bit. I reach over to him and he gives me a kiss so sweetly I can feel my soul shine deep within. He smiles again when he pulls away.

“One more” I say this time making him smile. Another sweet and caring kiss before we get out. Walking up to the door I take his hand in mine. He looks down and up at my face.

“Are you sure you want to walk in like this?” fear that I’ll back down in his voice. 

Shaking my head no I tell him “Only once before have I been more sure of myself then I am right now” and I smile at him.

“Yeah, when was that?” he asks putting his key in the door ready to open it.

“When I told Jack I was going back in time for you”


	17. Long Saturdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Saturday evening, still the 10th. Hope you all like it :) let me know what you think.

“When I told Jack I was going back in time for you” 

Eric’s eyes are piercing through me but he has no time to react because the door is opened from the inside.

“Oh I thought I heard voices.” Kathy says smiling and when her eyes fall down she sees us holding hands and her sweet apple cheeks get pushed up by her smile. She raises a brow while looking at her son and then back at me. “Welcome back Y/n, come in” she says kindly. 

“Thank you ma’am” I say when Eric lets me walk in first. I take off my shoes and jacket, Eric wants to do the same but before he can his mom gives him a hug, quick but loving and I dare to bet my left foot she whispered something in his ear. He looks down with a smile on his face when she lets go of him. Ready to head in, Eric’s trust in me and confidence grows exponentially because he takes my hand in his again as we walk towards his father, who, unlike his mother does not hide his reaction when he sees his son walk in hand in hand with a girl.

Wayne’s face gets a little red and he smiles from ear to ear. “Hello Y/n, nice to see you again.” then he points to our hands and ads “that’s new” all cheerful. 

“Yes, dad it is.” Eric says trying not to sound too annoyed. We walk over to the couch and he lets go of my hand. I look at him and down on our hands.

“Rude” I whisper with a smile looking at my empty hand and he raises his brow biting his lip.

“Don’t start again” he says softly but his voice gets caught by his mother.

“What honey?” she asks when she joins us with drinks.

“That wasn’t meant for our ears.” Wayne says and smiles at his wife.

“Oh” she says very excited with this all. 

“Thank you” I say taking a glass of lemonade “I had a friend of Eric come over and they loved the lemonade. I drank it all with pleasure really.” I say to his mom who looks delighted.

“I’m very glad, I actually made you a bottle to take with you.” she says looking so content at the picture before her.

“I really miss home made food. I stay at a motel for now. So it’s all take out, I can’t wait to have my own place and cook again.” I say sipping on my lemonade.

“When you get your own place, you mean here? As in Littleton?” Eric says a little shocked before his mother can react. I feel my cheeks getting red, maybe I’ve said too much now. 

“Well yeah I mean it’s an option, maybe if things go well in June I can perhaps settle down here somewhere” I say tilting my head while I look at Eric whose eyes are pinned on me. I can’t figure out his expression.

“What is in June?” Kathy asks unaware of the hidden meaning behind our inside joke.

“It’s an inside joke mom” Eric tells her eyes still fixed on me.

We talk easily after that, the mood is pleasant and I feel very comfortable and feeling Eric’s hand on my back I figure he does too. We talk about a lot of things and when it’s time for dinner we all head to the kitchen table. I help his mom set it for the four of us and when we get to the kitchen she places a hand on my elbow. 

“How lovely to see you two like that.” she says narrowing her eyes in content. I miss my mom, looking at her in this moment. She makes me blush and shy. 

“Thank you ma’am” I say rubbing the place she just held. She smiles like loving mothers do when they’re happy. And I take the plates back to the table, cutlery on top of the plates. Kathy follows with a table cloth which she spreads over the table quickly so I can set it. Looking at Eric I say “you slacker, sitting there watching me work” I planned to sound serious but I just laugh.

“Setting the table feels like work to you?” Eric asks laughing with me. “Must be due to old age” he says sticking out the tip of his tongue. 

“Oh you just wait” I say smiling. His father looks at us amused.

“Well you two seem well matched” he says with a chuckle. Eric and I look at each other and I can see he relishes when we’re together like this and the reaction from his parents to us.

“Not for long, he’s going down mr Harris” and both his parents chuckle. Eric just nods and licks his lips. Quick enough the table is completely set and we can start to eat, Eric pulls back my chair for me and his mother looks so happy. 

“Y/n don’t you miss your family?” his mom asks while cutting into her meat. Such a logical question. I’ve been expecting it. I look down on my plate and start to push around the same bite of food over my plate.

“More than I care to admit.” I tell her. “I got a message from my uncle not long ago.” I say carelessly. “That made me happy”. Eric looks at me with squinted eyes wondering if I’m talking about the man on his mind. “Then again I knew what I signed up for so I try to keep a positive outlook on it all” 

“That’s the spirit” Eric’s dad says firm. I can’t look up, afraid that finding Eric’s eyes will make mine well up. My training taught me many things, dealing with missing my friends and family was part of it as well. However the heart is a whole world on it’s own. 

“The food is wonderful mrs Harris. Just like last time, I’m glad to be sitting here on your table” I look up at her and see an empathic look on her face.

“You’re a sweet girl and always welcome on this table” she winks at Eric. 

“I have to agree, you chose well son” and he smiles at Eric who now has a hand in front of his face trying to escape embarrassment. This makes me smile. 

“Let's skip desert” Eric says quickly before anyone can continue. 

“Oh come on it’s all in good fun” I say putting my knife and fork down. Just like last time Eric and his dad clear the table, I offer my help with the dishes. Eric and I end up doing them. 

“What do you want to do?” Eric asks me with a dishcloth in his hands.

“Oh I don’t know, I want to go on a vacation, to say Costa Rica. Just get away from it all, you know” Eric’s face turns pale and he walks up close to me.

“Are you kidding me right now?” he asks with big eyes. 

I take a step closer to him and smile. “Didn't I tell you I read everything there was about you?” I say in hushed tone. He closes his eyes and when he opens them his pupils are large and he plants a kiss on my cheek. In front of his parents. I look at his parents who are looking at us. They’re so content and enjoy the fact their son looks so happy and at ease around them with me.

“Eric” I say pushing him away a little “you’re making me shy”

“You. Shy?” he asks in disbelief.

“Well yeah a little” I say and a lot softer I continue “your parents are right there” he just smiles at me. “What?” I ask starting the dish water up. He doesn’t answer but walks to the other side of me so he can dry everything down. The soap starts to foam a little and I scoop some up and blow on it really hard making it fly all over the side of Eric’s head. He turns his head to look at me. Foam on his cheek. He throws the towel down and grabs both of my arms. “Wow” I exclaim and before I can start to protest he wipes his cheek on mine. “Nooo Harris” I say laughing with half of the soap now on my face. To make matters worse, Eric scoops just a tiny bit water on his hand and throws it in my direction, landing right in my hair because I turned my face. “Oh Harris this is it.” and I stick my whole hand in the water and try to wipe it over his face but he ducks.

“Missed me” he says walking around me really fast and putting his arms around me locking me in. “Are you going to stop?” he says laughing.

“Nope” I say trying to pull his arms down but his grip is strong and honestly I want him to feel strong. 

“Are you sure?” he chuckles “seems like you’re not going anywhere”

“Didn't I say that you’re going down?” I say playfully.

“Does it look like I am?” he says through his chuckles. He gets close to my ear and whispers “unless you mean on you, then I’m game”. I freeze and immediately stop fighting him. With flushed cheeks I look at him, shocked at his blunt comment. “Okay you win, I give up” I say quickly hoping to escape his arms and the feeling that bubbles up inside of me. Which works, he lets me go and takes the dishcloth in his hand again. Looking all smug.

“See I knew you’d give up.” he says cocky. My mouth falls open.

“Did you just?” I manage to say through my amazement.

“I sure did, now get to it woman. Do your duty” he says cheekily.

“Harris I swear” and I fill a glass with water.

“No no it was a joke, don’t do that” he pleads. I face him with a stern look but when I see the big happy smile on his face I can’t help but smile wide and shake my head no at him. He laughs loud and cheerful before hugging me from the side, I hold his arms and he kisses me again on the cheek. Then we really start on the dishes, talking about a lot of different things. 

Then his tone changes and he asks me in a serious manner “is Jack your uncle?” I look down on the place I’m cleaning. 

Giving the clean plate to Eric I look at him and say “yes he is, I’m sorry I should have told you sooner” guilt in my voice. 

“Is he from your mother's side? Eric asks.

“No, on my dads side. My last name at birth is Le Temps but uhm” and I look over my shoulder and see his parents sitting, talking on the couch themselves. “I wasn’t allowed to use that name, travelling so I used my mothers maiden name” I say in soft tone. “I’m really sorry I didn't tell you before”

“It’s okay” Eric tells me but his face tells me otherwise. I take his arm in my hand.

“That is the only thing that I wasn’t a 100% honest about, I promise you that. Everything else I told you is truthful and everything I couldn’t tell you I’d let you know why I couldn’t tell you. Eric I swear” he looks at me again and smiles.

“I believe you, it’s okay. Honestly.” he says and I believe him. We finish the dishes and greet his parents before we go downstairs, holding the brown banister I feel my heart beat speed up again. Eric right behind me. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Eric asks while we walk down and into the living room on the basement level. 

“What movie?” I ask him.

“I bought Event Horizon” he asks with his brows raised.

“That is a good movie actually, I wished they’d done a remake, with new special effects it could have been outdone a million times” I say as he leads me towards the tv and couch. 

“Very unfair, I know nothing about those special effects” Eric says as he goes to put in Event Horizon. 

“The Matrix started the revolution and what came after was absolutely amazing. Oh I love Keanu Reeves, you would love John Wick” I say to Eric when he comes to sit next to me, close and cosy. His arm around me tight.

“Oh yeah, what’s that about?” he asks. I go on to explain the plot of John Wick and the craziness of Keanu and his moves, the coins, the clean up in the first movie and everything after, before and in between. 

“A dog, he did all that over a dog?” Eric says amazed “you’re telling me he went on to kill god knows how many over a dog?”

Defensive I turn a little to face him “didn't you listen? His wife who he loved with all his heart, bought that dog for him so he would have a reason to life, the dog was named Daisy. Come on, even your cold heart must feel something over how loving that gesture was of his wife” I say with a smile on my face.

He sighs “come on, okay I have to admit the story line sounds awesome. I see your point, she gave him the dog, her final present to him blabla. Also my cold heart, gee thanks” he’s chuckling as he says so.

“I bet you didn't even cry over Mufasa as a kid” I scoff.

“Who’s Mufasa?” Eric says and I pretend to dramatically have a heart attack. 

“Who is Mufasa he asks..” and I pull a pout.

“Oh come on” Eric pleads as he sits up straight and pulls his leg in facing me as he talks “I’m sorry who is he?” 

I keep on pouting “oh I forgot you don’t like Disney” 

“Bluh Disney please stop.” Eric says holding his hand in front of my pout “I’m not looking” I pull his hand down and get closer to his face with my pout. “If I watch Mufasa with you will you stop?” 

“Promise to watch it with me?” I say excited.

“I promise” he says.

“Good, my first opening to watch it however is in” 

“June, I figured” he says rolling his eyes.

“Yes exactly” I smile. After that we start to talk about a lot of things. Movies and special effects, music of my generation and bands he likes. He’s not very amused when I tell him about the dildo line of Rammstein dick. 

“I’m sorry, downloading music just ripped into cd sales, I guess they figured that’s the best way to make money” I say when Eric throws his head back, hands on his face after I tell him. When he comes too he tells me all about the concerts he’s been to and which he liked best. I tell him about my concerts, half of the artist not even debuted yet. He’s extremely disappointed when he hears what my concerts have been.

“Your taste in music is abhorrent, we need to change that stat” he says while we both laugh.

“Oh come on, most of my concerts were between 9 and 14, give me a break. I started out shitty but it got better. I will forever be sad I won’t get to see Michael Jackson perform” I tell him making him gag.

“You really like him?” he asks.

“Do not start with me, I will fight you” I say and he laughs when he sees my fake angry face.

“Okay I won’t, but did he like retire or something?” he asks and sadness washed over me.

“Something like that but not really. Don’t ask please.” I tell him.

“He’s dead” he says coldly.

“Okay stop” I say placing my hand over his mouth making him laugh. Topics like science, socrates and other philosophy pass as well. It’s amazing to me how incredible smart he is. I relish in our conversation and when we look at the movie for the first time we see it’s over halfway. 

“Oh it was on mute” Eric laughs but he doesn’t unmute and we just keep talking. I tell him about a theory I read once that the pyramids in Egypt made electricity and he seems genuinely interested, asking very good questions. Somewhere in between words he grabbed my hand and every now and then he looks down on our hands and smiles, rubbing his thumb over my hand. 

“When did you decide to come here?” Eric asks serious. “How old were you when you did that whole invention thing I know nothing about.” 

“I had just turned 17 when I told my uncle I wanted to know. That I wanted to step into the room that would lead me here eventually.” I say re-living the moment of getting ready in the chair to find out.

“Wait Jack also has the invention? He’s someone really important isn’t he?” Eric interrupts.

“Yes, my family’s bloodline goes way back and we’re straight descendants to one out of the three creators of time travel and founders of the agency.” Eric’s face goes blank.

“You’re what? Damn.” he says looking around the room. “So when you were 17 you did the thing and how old were you when you decided to come here?” he asks looking at me intensely.

“I was 18 when Jack and I found out I was compatible to come back here. He figured that with my bloodline, the connection and some other important factors I could. You know” and I shrug not knowing how to finish that sentence. Eric says it plain.

“Stop me and Dylan.” no reproach in his voice, just stating a fact. 

“Yes, but I’ll be honest with you. If you ever meet Jack he can never know.” I tell Eric, knowing there is a big chance Jack will find out anyway.

“I won’t tell him anything” Eric says eager to find out what I want to say. 

“The reason in the reports to come here, the goal of you and Dylan not doing it, has never been my biggest reason to come here. I was trained to make sure the connection wouldn’t be my main reason but it always was and still is. Our connection is what brought me here, I told you from the beginning, I am here for you.” I say laying my head against his arm on the backrest. Eric was listening closely and he licks his lips.

“So you know I won’t tell Jack about this, please tell me about the connection. I won’t tell him either.” he asks desperate to find out. If only he knew he doesn’t even believe in our connection. Ever since he said that I’ve been scared for the moment I am allowed to tell him.

“It doesn’t work the same, when you know about the connection there will be changes or shifts in time even because of your reaction to it. Your physical reactions or mentally. I can’t explain to you how that works, how they measure or know all those things because it’s extremely complicated and I am definitely not allowed to.” I say with an apologetic look. 

“Wait didn't you say your father stopped talking to you when you decided to come here? Does that mean you haven’t seen your father in” Eric looks at me with guilt in his eyes, as if it was his choice. 

“Two whole years. He stopped talking to me and his brother. I never saw that coming if I’m honest. My dad and I were like this” and I cross my pointer and middle finger “always together, my mom says she birthed me and from the second she handed me to my dad it was done. It was him and me always.” I feel my eyes welling up. “I always thought he’d turn around eventually during my training but he didn't. He wasn’t even there to say goodbye.” choking up I stop talking and start to scratch on my pants with my nails. Eric eyes me over and comes to sit back closer to me and holds me.

“I can’t believe this” he says almost breathless.

“Me neither, he was never like this” I say.

“No, I don’t mean your father. I mean you.” he says talking to my hair “I can’t believe what you did. Giving up so much your life, to come just for me” he says kissing my head.

“You’re not just you.” I say letting my hand go up to his chest to feel his heartbeat under my palm. Eric starts to caress my hair.

I need air, another subject. Something to get out of this moment. So I sit up and look at Eric. “Tell me something, why did you get so nervous when you thought I was in your room?” and I manage a small smile. He sits up letting me go and stands up.

“I was scared you’d find this” and he goes into his room and comes back with a blue spiral notebook. Flipping it open to the very last two pages. “I’m not afraid anymore, you can read it. Just don’t judge me too hard” he hands me what I know is his journal. My hands start to shake as I take it. “What’s wrong?” he asks

“It’s just” I say thinking about all the moments I read his journal, now I’m holding the real one “it’s nothing don’t worry.” and I start to read the first page. It’s filled with his tiny scribbled handwriting that I’m so familiar with. Glancing over it I see a few sentences pop out. I face Eric and ask “are you sure?” 

“Only once before was I more sure of something” he says quoting me. Making me smile and look down.

“Okay” and I start to read.

The first few parts is filled with doubt and confusion from Eric’s point of view. About me, what he thought. Some parts are very hard to read because they’re about NBK and how I was messing his plans up.

_ “So she comes here, telling me all this shit and now I’m suppose to rethink my whole purpose in life. I think the fuck not” _

A couple of lines further on the page it says: 

_ “That song she played what the fuck was that. I can’t get it out of my head and her giving me that comic, what is her game plan? Seduce me or something and give me future shit? But this feeling in my gut, twisting and turning I hate it. Somehow I can’t even be mad at her for doing this. I just want to see her again. How is that possible goddamn I hate this fucking shit. All of it. I want it to be back to normal” _

My stomach turns at these words and it’s very hard to digest. A look into his head this close up is frightening and it breaks my heart. But then after those first days, he doesn’t write about all days, the bowling comes up. 

_ “The way she looked when she opened the door. Her face with her hair aaaah it was like a goddamn movie. She did something with her hair and it made me go mad, I just wanted to keep looking at her. That moment when she walked past me to go into the bowling alley I thought my heart was gonna jump out of my fucking chest, god I just wanted to touch her. Telling her she looked gorgeous. Fuck. Putting my hand on her back I thought I was gonna explode. Then the rain and her shirt I can’t even go there, the things I wanted to do. She was pure perfection.”  _

I look up at Eric who looks at me but averts his eyes as fast as he can. My heart is pounding so hard. He’s been writing about me the same way I wrote about him. But in the same journal he’s been spewing hate in for the past year. I keep reading and it’s full of confliction. Eric torn apart by wanting to stick to his plan and feeling so drawn to me it almost drove him insane at night, hardly sleeping. Then the part about the park with our first kiss. I hardly dare to read it and with good reason. I can’t believe my eyes, he wrote about it in the most gentle and loving way. Describing how he felt and how I tasted. I feel my face burning and look up at Eric who doesn’t look away. The further we go in time with us together the less he writes. The last sentences on the first page make my heart tremble with love.

_ “I’m irreversible and unquestionable in love with y/n. She has my heart it’s hers. And I’m beginning to feel she might actually like me too.”  _

I look at the other page and it’s filled with a sort of pro/con list and some writing at the bottom.

_ “Still going NBK with Vodka: we’d show the world what we’re made of. Teach all these motherfuckers that they chose the wrong ones to bully and humiliate. We have everything ready, we need to do this, together. It has been me and Vodka against everybody else for so long, did it really change?”  _

At the bottom it says:

_ “But then there is her. She is here for me, she shows me she cares all the time, telling me I’m more than this. That I can have a good future, that she’d be there for my birthdays. That means she’ll stay right? How I feel about myself around her, I want to feel like that always. And I definitely want to love her if she'll let me. Fucking hell I just want it to be her and me in this world. Not me and vodka against the world. So did it really change. Yes the fuck it did. Irrevocable and a 100% did it change. I want her to be an us with me”  _

I didn't even notice Eric getting up and coming back again. Looking at him I’m at a loss for words. 

“I don’t know what to say” I say at a complete loss for words. I sit up straight next to him, holding his journal. “That was a lot on two pages” I say with a small smile.

“I’m sorry I didn't mean to strain you.” he says but I shake no.

“Eric, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’d trust me to read this” and I take his hand in mine.

“I’m so tired. Confused ever since you came here. NBK seemed the only way but now.” he doesn’t finish that sentence. “There is also Dylan” he looks at me and he almost seems trapped. In himself and together with Dylan.

“There is also Dylan, who is or at least was very pissed.” I say afraid of how that is all going to go. 

“I think I’ll go see him later. I’ll make sure he doesn’t fly off the handle again with you. This shit needs to be settled.” he says absently. Too scared to ask anything I look at the tv.

“Well that was a good movie” and he looks up out of his thoughts and sees the credits playing.

“It wasn’t even half as interesting as this conversation.” he says smiling. 

“I agree.” and I sigh deeply “Can’t believe it’s the 10th of April already. Time is flying by.” I say looking at Eric. He tilts his head and he gets a really big smile on his face. “Why are you smiling like that. That means trouble” I say squinting my eyes at him. Eric scoots really close to me. “See I told you it was.” I say when he gives me a kiss. “Harris spill it” I say smiling with his lips still pecking my cheek.

“Go to prom with me” he says rather than asks. 

“What?” I blurt out “prom?” 

“Yes, come with me. Be my gorgeous prom date” he says smiling as the kisses go down to my neck.

“Harris that is bribery” I tell him as he begins to leave kisses in the crook of my neck.

“I’m trying” he says smiling against my neck now “is it working?” he asks with a soft chuckle. “I guarantee you’re the most beautiful girl there” 

I sigh as I try not to sink into the kiss. I gently push him off of me and he looks a little shocked. “I will go to prom with you, if NBK is cancelled” I say hoping he won’t get angry at me. He looks at me and I see he’s really processing what I just said. His reaction is not what I thought it would be, he gives me a slow kiss and then another one.

“I think I should drive you to your place” he says evasive.

“I’m sorry” I say to him afraid my question made him say this.

“Don’t be, I understand. I just don’t know what to say to that and I really want to go see Dylan so that’s why I think I should drop you off.” he says with a serious tone of voice.

“Okay, yeah fair enough” I say and I get up. Eric goes with me but before we go up he places his journal in his room. I catch a pink glimpse on his bed.”What is that pink thing?” I ask curious. Eric has a smirk on his face.

“Your shirt” he says devious. 

“You stole my shirt?” I say in disbelief ready to go in his room but he jumps in front of me blocking my path.

“I don’t think so, that’s mine.” he says smugly. “You can get it back when I get my shirts.” he’s smiling.

“In June we switch back” I say wiggling my eyebrows. Eric smiles and steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around me.

“Maybe I don’t want to give it back at all” he says rubbing his nose against mine.

“You want to wear it secretly don’t you?” I ask smiling while he scoffs.

“Are you wearing my shirts? Besides that one time to Blackjack?” he ask still close to me.

“No” I lie.

“Are you lying?” he asks smiling.

“Maybe” I say smiling. Eric just smiles before he kisses me, hands on my back. Mine on his, he may be small in size but has character enough for 10.

“I really need to bring you back, staying like this is going to make sure nothing else happens” he says decisive. I smile at him and nod.

“You do that” I say smiling against his lips. “Eric you make me so happy” I tell him, catching him off guard.

“I can’t even remember when I last felt this good” he says seriously.

“I hate that” and I hug him, standing on my toes as I do. “I want you to be happy” 

“Hmm” he hums against my shoulder “I’m getting there” and he lets me go. “Come on” and he takes my hand walking up the stairs with me. We step into the living room where his parents are watching a program together. His mom smiles so lovely at me and gets up, probably to get the lemonade. 

“Goodnight mr Harris” I say walking past him and meeting his mother at the door with the bottle of lemonade. “Goodnight y/n, thanks for being here again” he says with a small wave.

“It was lovely to have you here again.” his mother says standing there as I put my shoes and jacket on.

“Thank you, I had a lot of fun, even though Eric was here too” I say smiling while I take the bottle from her hands. 

“Another lie, you’re on a roll tonight” he says laughing.

“Rude” I say chuckling. His mother rubs my arm shortly before heading back inside.

“I’m gonna bring y/n to her place and go to Dylan, I won’t be late” he tells his parents. 

“Alright” his father says shorly, focussed on the screen again. Stepping outside to his car together he only lets go of my hand when he has opened the door of his car for me. I get in and open his door. He steps in.

“Thanks baby” he says confident, although his cheeks are a little red.

“You’re welcome honey munchkin, sweetie pie, baby cakes” I tease his with one brow raised. Eric looks at me so annoyed.

“You can never behave can you?” he asks but can’t hide a smile on his face.

“No this is way more fun” and I look at him licking his lips as he reverses to turn around. “Bae” I say playfully.

“Do I even want to know what bae means?” he asks making his way back to my place, driving slower then he normally would.

“It’s slang for babe” I tell him.

“I like babe better” he says laughing.

“Fine, liefje” I say looking at his annoyed smile.

“You’re not gonna tell me what that means right?” he says expecting me not to.

“Liefje means sweetheart” Eric turns his head to look at me, he did not expect that.

“I like that word” he says looking back at the road. 

“Liefje it is” I tell him. I keep looking at him while he drives, his black bdu pants topped with his KMFDM shirt suit him so well. He sees me looking at him.

“What?” he asks a little nervous.

“Nothing I was just looking at you, at your clothes specifically. I like your style, I always loved band merch” smiling at him while I tell him. The nervousness slipping out of him again. We reach the motel way too soon. Sitting in his car we look at each other, Eric has a happy smile on his face and same goes for me. “I had a lot of fun tonight. I loved talking to you about all those things.”

“I did too, I’ve never talked to anyone the way we can. It’s very uhm” and he licks his lips looking down thinking. His head jerks up and he says “liberating”. I take a deep breath in.

“Liberating. That’s good” I say letting my hand rest on his neck, fingers teasing him a bit before I pull him in to meet him halfway for a kiss. Taking his upper lip in between mine he lets his tongue close under my bottom lip. His hand on my face holding me close to his. He lets go because he has other things to do. 

“You know how geil means cool in German?” I ask Eric with my eyes still closed.

“Yes” he says to which I open my eyes. Opening my door I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“Well in Dutch it means something else. And it’s actually how I’m feeling right now.” I explain.

“Oh yeah and what does this mean in Dutch?” he asks still leaning in.

“It means” and I whisper in his ear “horny”. Taking his earlobe in between my lips before I quickly exit the car. Looking back at Eric in the car I see his chest puff up and he’s looking at me with intense eyes. I wanted to send him off to Dylan with as much confidence as possible. Him meeting Dylan scares the hell out of me. For me it feels like a lot depends on it. Opening my door I look at Eric one last time who smiles at me before waving shortly. I enter and his engine starts to roar, ready to go because I’m out of sight. Throwing my jacket over the chair I instantly take out my phone, needing to see Sofia’s message again. Keep myself busy, I’m hoping with all my heart that Eric will come by after he talked to Dylan. Especially if things get deep and heavy between them. Looking at the video I think of Eric. Two loud knocks on the door. I’m convinced it’s Eric. Having me bounce towards the door. I open it with a swing and when the oval badge catches my eye I’m glad I didn't open with the phrase missed me. 

“Y/n Hunter?” the dark voiced man asks.

“Yes sir.” I answer him.

“I am here to bring you two messages from Jack Le Temps. May I come in?” he asks polite.

“Of course.” and I make way for him to enter. the tall, dark and handsome man places his briefcase on the table, opening it smoothly as he takes out two pieces of paper, I see they are both short messages.

“I will now read out the first message.” he says with a polite smile on his face. 

“Y/n Hunter, the council has decided. You may share your connection with Eric Harris. To Eric Harris alone, speaking about it to anybody else is still prohibited. The council believes it’s in the best interest of the mission’s chance of success to share this with the above named subject. You are on the verge of success. - Jack Le Temps.” I stand there completely floored,  _ I am allowed to tell him _ .

“Is that understood miss?” the man asks kind. I do not answer. “Miss Hunter, is that understood?” he repeats.

“Sorry what?” I ask completely in shock.

“Miss Hunter would you like me to repeat the message?” 

“Yes please” I say looking at the man as if I see water burning in front of me. He repeats the message articulating very well. 

“Is it clear now?” he asks patiently.

“Yes sir, I apologise you had to repeat yourself.” I state firmly.

“No need to apologise miss Hunter, are you ready for the second, private message from Jack Le Temps?” he asks already laying out my copies of both messages.

“Yes sir. I am.” 

“I will now read to you the second message.” he says clearing his throat. 

“Y/n you will be the first in our family to succeed in their mission. I am sure of it. - Jack Le Temps” the man looks at me with a neutral expression.

“Thank you sir, both messages are clear.” I say with a nod. He hands me my papers, has me sign his copy before he takes his leave. 

Still in utter shock I sit down on my bed, papers in my hand. Staring blankly out in front of me. 

_ Eric’s POV, first person. _

_ Standing in front of Dylan’s door I feel my blood racing through my body. Thoughts of her running through my head, the image of him going off at her really piss me off. Ringing the doorbell it doesn’t take long for someone to answer. Dylan’s mother opens the door. _

_ “Eric, hello” she says to me. _

_ “Hi mrs Klebold, I forgot to call is Dylan home?” I ask her doing my best not to sound irritated. If he’s not here, I’ll have come all this way for nothing.  _

_ “He is, come in” she says opening the door. “Dylan it’s for you, Eric” she calls out. A door opens and heavy footsteps follow on the stairs. I look down not wanting to look a him before he greets me. _

_ “Eric, I didn't expect you here?” he says cold. _

_ “Yeah I thought I’d stop by.” I say clenching my jaw shut. He treated her like shit, in public. _

_ “Let’s go for a drive. Just follow me.” Dylan says sounding bleak. _

_ “Alright” I answer him, knowing he’s going to drive us to where Walsh picked us up. For some reason him choosing where to go doesn’t fly well with me tonight. Driving behind him I get this eerie feeling. I hate this shit, I speed up and pass him. Driving to where he was leading. Parking the car, Dylan parks on the other side of the parking lot. That’s a first. I’m not feeling this fucking shit, I want it over with. Walking up to each other I can feel my anger rise up when I see his face looking at me all nonchalant. It’s infuriating, he is. Standing in front of each other the both of us refuse to say the first word. Then dylan opens his mouth. _

_ “Guess she told you we met today” his hands in his pockets. _

_ “She did, what was that all about dude?” I ask him scanning his face for lies.  _

_ “Don’t you think it’s time she heard it the way it is? You’ve been playing house ever since she arrived” he says voice still cold. _

_ “You were loud, people could have heard Dylan.” I say to him. _

_ “Nobody paid any attention. Don’t try to talk over it Eric”  _

_ “I’m not talking over anything” I say before he can continue.  _

_ “Then tell me, why is she throwing birthday parties and are you lying to me, to me” he spews pointing at himself. Goddammit this is frustrating.  _

_ “Because you’ve been so goddamn touchy about her since she arrived man. I didn't want you to get all angry again and by the way aren’t you going to prom? That’s only a couple of days before Tuesday.” I spit back. _

_ “Tuesday?” he says angry “that’s what NBK is called now?”  _

_ “Don’t fucking start like that, you know what I mean” fuck I can’t do this. _

_ “Yeah whatever dude” Dylan says shaking his head. _

_ “Man what do you want me to say?” I ask him wanting it over. _

_ “Are you in doubt about going NBK?” he says plain. I knew he was gonna ask. It fucking annoys me that I can’t just tell him.  _

_ “I” fucking great now I’m stammering like a moron. _

_ “You can’t even say it goddamn man, we were in this together” Dylan yells at me. My hands ball up into fists and it takes everything for me to keep my cool. _

_ “I don’t know okay.” I say _

_ “Don’t know what? If you even want to do it?” Dylan asks getting furious. _

_ “Yes I don’t know.” I throw my hands up “I love her man” I blurt out, fuck.  _

_ “You love her?” Dylan asks shocked “well we both love people that never stopped us before”  _

_ “This is different.” I say loudly losing my calm. _

_ “Why because she sucks your dick?” Dylan asks defensive. _

_ “Don’t talk about her like that. It’s not like that. Fuck man I’m sorry.” I say throwing my hands up again. “She’s changed everything for me. All that fucking rage, I can hardly feel it outside of school.” I turn around licking my lips. When I turn around Dylan looks red and furious.  _

_ “So you’re out, is that what you’re saying?” his arms crossed before his chest. _

_ “I don’t know” I look down closing my eyes.  _ _ And those jocks they’ve already peaked, there is nothing more out there for them. But you, you would just be getting started  _ _ her words going around in my head  _ _ when I told Jack I was going back in time for you _ _. I know my choice but how do I tell Dylan. Looking back at Dylan his demeanor changed completely. _

_ “I think you do know” he takes a few steps back “let me know when you can tell me like a man instead of being a fucking coward” he turns around to his car. I feel like throwing up. He doesn’t know what she gave up for me.  _

_ “Dylan” I yell at him and he stops in his tracks. This conversation isn’t over. _

_ End of Eric’s POV. _

Blow drying my head after a long shower I hear a loud knock on my door. Putting the blow dryer down I walk up to the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s me” Eric’s voice sounds drained. Opening up the door I see Eric with his head fallen down a bit. He looks up and sees my shirt, shit I forgot to change. “I knew it” he says with a flat voice. I don’t have to invite him in, he comes in naturally.

“Eric are you okay?” I ask him sofly.

“I don’t know” he says “Dylan is breathing fire right about now.” 

I try not to draw conclusions because they are dangerous, especially now. “I’m sorry it didn't go so well.” 

“Not your fault. I just wanted to drop by ask if you want to meet up tomorrow?” he turns around to look at me.

“Of course I do.” I say promptly.

“Good, wanna get lunch and see where the day goes?” he asks looking at his own shirt. I fold my arms over each other.

“Sounds good to me” I say smiling.

“Yeah there is no hiding that you’re sleeping in my shirt.” he says with a small smile. He turns around and looks over the desk. His back towards me so I can’t see I accidentally left one of the messages from the agency on the table. “Y/n you will be the first in our family to succeed in their mission. I am sure of it. - Jack Le Temps” Eric reads out, slamming the paper back on the desk, startling me with his reaction. My heart drops. I shouldn’t have been this careless. His face filled with anger, his voice full of betrayal. “First in the family to succeed in a mission huh, is that what I am a mission?” he walks closer to me. “Just a victory to you?” he scares me with his expression.

“Eric of course not. That was one of two messages. This one was” he interrupt me.

“No it’s okay I get, Le Temps blood huh.” he snarls “is there a bet going on in the family? Two bucks on Harris falling for her like and idiot.” I feel my eyes well up and my insides turn at his harsh words and cruel expression. 

“Eric you’re no bet” I manage to say. “You know that’s not how I feel about you” 

“Do I know? It’s always in Dutch, you didn't even say if it meant that you love me too. I just drew a conclusion like the idiot that I am.” he wipes the paper off the desk, letting it fall to the floor and walks towards the door.

“Eric don’t go like that, I didn't say it in English because I was afraid it would” again he cuts me off.

“Save it. Don’t say anything, it’s okay I understand. I’m used to it” he opens the door.

“What happened with Dylan?” I ask him.

“Why so you can report back to your precious uncle?” that’s it I’m not having it anymore. I walk up to Eric and shut the door with a bang.

“Stop. You’re not going anywhere, not like this.” and now I’m the one blocking the path.

“Oh really and why is that?” he asks angrier than I’ve ever seen him. 

“Because you’re upset and you don’t understand” I say afraid to look in his eyes.

“I understand just fine.” his eyes close for a second but when he opens them he’s just as angry as before. “Let me leave, I don’t want to be here right now.” he says blinking fast. His words rip right through me but he seems determined to go so I step aside so he can get out. He goes without hesitating. I walk out of the door and see him run towards his car door, slamming it shut before starting the engine and driving off.

“If he looks back it’ll be fine” I say out loud trying to calm myself with nonsense. Just before he turns around the corner he looks at me. Sadness now written all over his face. He drives off and I feel my knees getting weak and I sit down right on the spot. Shaking like a leaf, scared like a little girl. I messed up, that message shouldn’t have been out there. My arms around my knees, chin resting on them. I sit there for a good while before I get up and walk back in. Slamming the door behind me. I go straight to the bathroom and open up the tab to cold water. Holding my hands and wrists underneath, looking at myself in the mirror. The Rammstein logo laughing in my face right now. I pull the shirt off, I can’t look at it, not right now. Falling on my bed I feel exhausted, what a rollercoaster day. The thought that Eric won’t come tomorrow keeps me awake. Articles and pictures of the shooting haunt me. Flashes of Eric’s body in the library make me vomit before I can finally sleep and be unconscious with no clue what the next day would bring.


	18. It's coming together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers, hope you all enjoy the Sunday in this chapter. Let me know what you think :)

A ray of sunlight shines through the curtains and lands on my face. I open my stinging eyes and squint at the first light. Raising my hand to cover my eyes my whole body aches as I sit up. I’m rubbing my eyes while I throw the cover up. Getting out of bed my brain is slowly processing how this night went. Shaking my head while I think about it. I need fresh air as soon as possible. When I freshen up I see Eric’s shirt on the floor. I pick it up after I’m done brushing my teeth. Done in the bathroom I look at the clock and see it’s already noon. Eric isn’t here to pick me up. Quickly I push the thought out and get dressed. My favorite jeans, the skinny jeans and a black shirt will do just fine. Deciding I’ll get a coffee while I wait just a little for Eric. I grab my jacket and some money from my wallet and my keys. Pulling open the door my eyes widen when I see Eric leaning against his car his hands in his pockets. Closing the door behind me he looks up at the sound of it. Quickly he straightens up and pulls his hands out of his pockets. It strikes me how miserable he looks. He walks up to me and before I can say hello he starts off.

“I’m so fucking pissed.” he hisses through his teeth as he comes closer to me. I feel the color drain from my face, he’s still angry. When I saw him standing there I had hoped he’d been able to find his calm again. I can’t manage to say anything. Eric however has enough to say to me. “Do you comprehend how mad I am?” he asks, still my voice fails me. “Yesterday when I came here I thought I’d find peace with you, like I always do. Instead I find words that hurt me more then anything Dylan said to me.” He paces back and forth before me. My eyes keep following him every move. “The first in the family to succeed. What does that even mean? I’ve been wrecking my brain the entire night” he throws his hands up and glares at me. “Jack the big man from the agency is your fucking uncle and you got send back here. What a coincidence.” he spits every word out. Licking his lips as he looks at me, his eyes are hurt, his words angry and his demeanor has a sadness over it. I let him throw it all out, not that I can do anything about it because I’m not capable of using my vocal cords. “Tell me it’s a coincidence, that you’re here for me and Jack is your uncle.” he now stand in front of me.

“I” but my words fail me.

“Tell me!” he demands.

“It is a coincidence but it’s also not” I say closing my eyes knowing how confusing I sound but my capability to form structured sentences is failing me on top of everything else.

“It is a coincidence but it’s also not” Eric repeats throwing his hands in the air “I thought we were done with the cryptic shit Y/n.” he asks hands on his hips now.

I swallow hard and cross my arms “it’s complicated, yes the fact that Jack is my uncle helps, my father’s previous position in the company helped as well. I won’t lie about that but my compatability with you and this situation was of greater importance. How my training went was more important, had I failed I could have been Jack myself but I wouldn’t have been allowed to travel back” I’m relieved that I’ve regained my ability to speak properly. Eric looks at me.

“And you couldn’t have said that immediately instead of the cryptic shit?” he bites at me. “You know whatever it doesn’t matter at all” and he starts pacing again. “I’m just a way for you to succeed and keep up the great Le Temps name” he’s starting to push all my buttons, my need for him to release his anger and be safe with me is losing it against my own pain and anger for the way he’s treating me.

“Eric can we either talk sensible and constructively or not do this?” I ask him with my last bit of restrain. He scoffs at me while he looks right at me. “You know Eric, people who care about you aren’t made of stone you know, your words hurt us too. I’m sorry you read the message and think you know exactly what it means because you don’t” he scoffs again stepping a little closer to me. “You don’t okay, there were two messages.” and I cross my arms again. “This was a personal message and you have no idea what it means” I say clenching my jaw shut, the pain of what it really means is coming back to me, like a tidal wave it crushes me down. 

“It said and I quote: you’re the first one to succeed in our family I’m sure of it” Eric snarls at me “that means you’ll haul in victory right, another great trophy for your” and that’s where I break.

“You think you know everything based off of one line?” I interrupt him with my voice growing loud in anger. “Did it not occur to you that you could have asked me what the fuck it meant? Instead of drawing your own conclusions? I know you’ve been hurt, way too fucking much and by too many people.” I say feeling my heart rate increase rapidly, throwing punches in the back of my throat. “Did I not tell you it was never a mission for me, that I’m here for you? Have I given you any reason to doubt me?” I say with the palms of my hands up. “Have I? Answer me Eric” I plea with him. He looks startled by my reaction. Saying nothing. 

“Fine have it your way.” I say defeated letting my hands run through my hair. I want to tell him what that particular message means but I can’t, not this upset, not in the hopes that he’ll stop being angry. The message is too important too personal and private to blurt out on the streets like this.

“You wanna know the worst part?” Eric asks in a much less angry tone. I don’t, I really don’t, he’s just gonna be angry again. But I can’t let my own built up anger ruin this.

“What is the worst part, Eric?” I ask defeated.

“The fact that logically I know you’re right.” Eric comes a little closer and my eyes become narrow because I did not expect that. “You’re right, you never gave me any reason to doubt you. Just now and even yesterday when I got so fucking angry at you I knew I was wrong, I knew it wasn’t like that. It couldn’t be because it’s you. But my anger just takes over and I can’t fucking function when that happens.” Eric is making big hand gestures while he speaks, his voice wavering at times. “The absolute worst is knowing that what I’m saying is bullshit and it’s hurting you for no reason but I can’t stop it.” his voice now shaking as he tells me while looking at the floor. All the anger seeps out of me, replaced with sadness. That’s his reality, has been for so long. Anger has a strong hold over him and nobody is there to help him to find a relieve, find him the help he needs.

“Eric” I say sympathetic.

“No don’t do that please.” he says shaking his head. “I’ve hurt you don’t fucking sound like you care. Be angry with me, hurt or hate me but don’t.” he says drowning in sorrow. 

I feel like I’ve been punched in the chest, I recognise his hurt and it’s the most horrible feeling. “Don’t you think you’re already hurt enough?” I ask him walking up to him. He backs up. I stop and look at him. His brows drew together and his mouth open as he looks at me with droopy eyelids, exhausted. “Come here” I say as I walk up to him. Slowly he allows me to approach him before he lets himself crash into my arms as I embrace him. His shoulders start to shake and his hands hold onto me tight. I bury my face in his neck as I hold him close. “It’s okay, it’s okay” I repeat whispering in his neck. After holding him like that for awhile I feel him straightening up and I say “come on, I was on my way to get coffee”. Eric looks at me and I see the lines made by tears on his face. I wipe the tear stains off his cheeks “why don’t you go wash your face you’ll feel a little better and then we can go for coffee” he nods and we walk back into my room so he can use the bathroom. He looks a bit shaky but a little better when he comes out of the bathroom. “Are you good to go?” I ask him. He gives me a small smile.

“Yeah I’m alright” he says visible ashamed of himself. I stick out my hand for him to take before we head out and walk to the pedestrian crossing to go to the little coffee place across the street. Walking in together the lady whose face already feels familiar greets us.

“Good Morning handsome couple” she says winking at me. “What may I get you two?” 

“I’ll have a cappuccino” and I look at Eric.

“And I’ll take a hot chocolate” he says smiling timidly at me.

“The usual and a hot chocolate coming up” she says before we take a seat at the far end. 

“The usual huh?” Eric asks taking a seat at the other end of the table facing me.

“Yeah I get my prescription cappuccino here” I say smiling back. He looks away while he stretches his arms over the table holding back a yawn. Reminding me of something that isn’t published yet. “Are you okay?” I ask him tilting my head. He turns to face me and pulls his arms in.

“I’m so sorry” he says going over my question. “I am so sorry for everything.” he repeats. 

“I know you are” and I reach over the table to take his hands in mine, I have to really pull his arms closer to me. “I’m sorry I lost” and he interrupts me

“Stop talking right now. You’re goddamn near perfection” he says making me snicker.

“Oh dear Eric, stick around long enough and you’ll find that I am nowhere near perfect.. Although I’ll forever deny saying that.” and the waitress comes with our drinks, placing them in front of us. We both thank her. Beginning to drink our warm beverages we try to chat about little things for a while and Eric seems to start to feel at ease again, if only a little bit. 

“Can I ask you something?” Eric asks shyly.

“Just this once” and I roll my eyes.

“What did that message mean?” he asks seriously. Taken by surprise at the seriousness of that question I look down on my coffee and start to stirr with the spoon. I figured he’d ask me soon.

“There is a very complicated and painful story behind that message, can I give you the short version or do you want to wait for another day?” I ask looking at him.

“You can give me the short version” he asks desperate to ease his own mind about it.

“Jack was talking about the fact that he my dad and my mother all had missions so to speak and neither succeeded. My mother travelled through time when I was 11 years old.” I feel the anxiety creep up thinking about it again, my eyes fixed on my coffee. “She never came back.” I say before clearing my throat. Not looking at anything but my drink. “My dad wanted to go after her. Bring her back to us but Jack didn't let him. Jack didn't want me and my sister to lose both out parents so Jack went instead. He went to get my mom, his brothers great love, but he failed. I was never told why she didn't come back until the day I stepped into the invention.” I take a sip from my coffee, my hands shaking. “My father couldn’t rest not knowing and so he travelled back after years to see my mother, he came back alone. She wasn’t alive anymore. After a while he did remarry and I love her with all my heart, I even call her mom. My dad and Jack have always been close, Jack has always been like my second father. Neither would tell me why she didn't want to come back in the first place. So when I told my father I too wanted to work at the agency he was furious and he said he didn't want me anywhere near that place. Jack however told my father it was in my blood so he took me in. My father resigned and the bond with his brother deteriorated fast. When I told Jack I wanted to use the invention he help create”

“Jack invented that thing? The invention that told you about our connection right? He did that?” Eric fires the questions rapidly at me. I nod yes and continue. 

“Jack he was against it and my father forbade me to go through with it but I wouldn’t listen, I needed to know. Which lead me here and the second my father heard I wanted to travel he stopped talking to me. The last thing he told me was that he’d talk to me when I came to my senses. Knowing what it did to my mom, killing her. My dad and Jack to come back broken he thought I knew better, time travel is toxic and it changes people. That losing them for a single chance here was selfish and it broke his heart. But I had to. I had to come here. So that even if I fail I know that I have tried everything in my power to prevent it.” I stop talking, take a sip of my drink and look up at Eric. Who looks at me in complete and utter shock. “So it really didn't mean what you thought it did huh” I say smiling, trying to keep myself together.

“I have no idea how to respond to all of this” Eric admits.

“That’s okay, I understand.” I tell him. Eric’s brow shoots up. “Really it is” I reassure him.”This is some fucked up shit” I say with a small smile over how weird it must all be for Eric. “I told you it was one out of two messages right” I tell him. Thinking now can be a good a time as any to hit him with everything.

“Yes you did” he says.

“Are you ready for message number two?” I ask him feeling my gut twist at the idea of telling him. So very afraid of his reaction.

“Am I?” he asks uncertain “is it something bad?” he asks with big eyes. I feel like it's a bandaid I need to rip off quickly for it to be less scary so I tell him straight up.

“I’m allowed to tell you what our connection is.” I stare at him and see his face turn really pale.

“You’re kidding” he says rather then ask me. All I do is shake my head no. “Well tell me” he says eyes even wider. I start to laugh at how unreal this is.

“It’s not that easy for me. I don’t think I even can tell you.” he furrows his brows.

“I seem to remember you promising me you would tell me as soon as you could” he says not pointing fingers but more confused.

“And I will but I’m going to show you.” I tell him and now he’s completely lost.

“Okay and how will you do that?” he asks nervously.

“By showing you the tape on which I find out myself.” I say calmer then I imagined I would do.

“Oh” he says looking at me. “Can we go do that right now?” he asks impatiently. I look at him and know I owe it to him. He’s been waiting since well maybe even the first time I mentioned the connection. I can still see him so clearly walking away from me that first night after Blackjack when he told me he’d find out. I’m pretty sure he knows it has something to do with how we care for each other, but if he’s ready and willing to accept what it really entails I’m not so sure. It’s Sunday and there are only 9 days left. I’m so afraid to show him. What if it backfires and he loses all trust in me?

“Lets go” I say licking my lips. Again so calm, I’m not sure how that’s possible but it is and I feel like I’ll jynx it if I do not move immediately. Eric is already on his feet before I can even move a muscle. He walks up to the register and pays for our drinks. This calmness is numbing my senses and I smile at the lady behind the register who so politely wishes us a good day. She has no idea. Back at the motel door I can’t even remember crossing the road or even when I pulled my keys out. Trying to open the door my hands shake uncontrollable. Eric places his hands over mine and I look at him, he looks worried as he takes the key from my hand, opening the door for me. I walk in blinking faster than usual. The tv with built in video player looks as if I’ve never seen it before. Eric still looks at me with worried eyes as I walk over to get my black bag in silence. Pulling out the tape I drop it on the bed the little thud brings me back into reality just a little. Eric’s eyes are fixated on the tape.

“That’s the tape” he states. I take off my jacket.

“That’s the tape” I repeat and look at him, sucking in a deep breath before I grab it from the bed. Carefully placing my jacket over the chair before putting the tape into the player. The tv now on. I take the remote and flip to search for the video channel. When I find it I take another deep breath before pressing play. This tape was made for me, by Jack. He made me swear not to tell anyone, he said that if missions looked like they might succeed the rules may be bended. He said he made it so it shows Eric my determination from start to finish. So he made it just in case. He told me before going on a lengthy rant about how I was an idiot and should have listened to my father when I still had the chance. 

“Are you ready?” I ask him. Eric comes closer to me and I can see how anxious he is to find out but also the fear.

“I don’t know.” and he looks at me “I just know it has to be something good. Not a bad thing” and less certain he ads “right?” I smile at him in this scary calmness I still possess.

“I’ve been convinced since we met that it is a good thing but it changed a little if I’m honest” I say looking at my hands.

“Okay so you’re scaring the shit out of me. Play it before I go insane.” he orders and I obey. Pressing play my fingers have never felt heavier. Eric stands right in front of the tv.

_The screen flickers a little before I see the office I loved and hated so much. Jack’s office._ _Jack walks in not long after._

Pushed back by the punch in my gut I sit down and I struggle to clench onto this calmness. As Jack walks in, my beautiful tall, dark haired uncle that I love so dearly, I bite my lip at how much I miss him _.  _

“Who is that? Is that Jack?” Eric asks getting really nervous I can tell.

“Yes, that’s him in his office.” I say eyes glued to the screen, sucking in every detail of his face.

_ The door of his office opens again and in I walk. My hair in one of my signature braids, the ones Eric loves. We sit down and Jack starts to talk me through the procedure that I already knew by heart. _

His charismatic but stern voice echoes through my head as I relive those moments. __

_ “You’ll be brought into the procedure room, there you will walk into the smaller room inside where you’ll be positioned as we practiced.” He clears his throat and looks at me sitting in the chair in front of him, his 17 year old niece.  _

“What room?” Eric asks.

“Eric please just watch” I say looking at his hands on his hips. Eyeing him over I try to focus on what he wears. He wears a dark plaid shirt over light washed jeans with black low shoes. His hat on backwards. The moment he has been waiting for finally here.

“Alright” he says.

_ Jack continues with the technical parts of the story and when he’s done he asks “is that all clear y/n?” and I nod. _

_ “Yes sir” I always addressed him as sir while at work. He nods and tells me to follow his lead. The camera follows us as we walk into a bright room with a smaller room inside, panels to monitor everything on the outside.  _

_ “Y/n Le Temps.” Jack says with authority in his voice. I look back at him. _

_ “Sir?” I ask him and he walks towards me. _

_ “Your mother stepped into this invention to find out as well.” he tells me. On the tape you can see my heart drop into my shoes as my eyes turn sad and my mouth opens. _

_ “I think you have the right to know, since you’re following in her footsteps.” he crosses his arms and I turn around again.  _

Sitting here I remember how angry I was at him for telling me, right before I’d find out what would haunt me for almost a year before I told Jack that I’d do what he asked me.

“Your mother did the same thing?” Eric asks in shock, this must really be confusing him. “ Why did she go back, for what? Fuck I’m sorry I’m just so goddamn nervous” he says remembering me telling him to just watch. I sit there watching him as he gets closer to finding out. 

_ I walk into the smaller room and someone walks in with me. When they are done setting everything up they walk out and close the door behind me. _

“What?” Eric asks as he point at the screen. “Won’t we see what happens?” I’m having heart palpitations and I get up from the bed, Eric doesn’t even notice. I walk back and turn around to look at the screen and Eric. My memory of those moments still so vividly in my mind. I can still taste the coffee I had before going in, big mistake. The colors, the words spoken and his name rolling out of the machine.. 

_ Suddenly the door flies open on the tape, I’m in utter distress and as I walk out I lose balance and I fall to my knees. People around me looking at me like it’s just another day at the office. I’m pulling my shirt down because I couldn’t breath. I’m clawing for breath before I get up and run to the nearest trash can to empty out the content of my stomach. Everybody stays at a distance, Jack knows what this means, he’d seen it before. He walks up to me and stops right before me. _

Eric’s eyes are huge as he looks at the screen, I can see his hands shake. 

_ “He’s.. he’s” I whimper looking at Jack and I a-line along the wall down to sit on the floor.  _

Eric looks back at me but I keep looking at the screen. So he turns his attention back to the screen as well. 

_ “He’s Eric Harris from Columbine” I cry before placing my hands before my face pressing my fingers into my head. The whole room goes quiet and even the always composed Jack has an expression of terror on his face. _

“But what am I y/n?” Eric asks frantic. All I do is point at the screen. 

_ Jack pulls me up by my hand and takes me back into his office. He gets me a cup of water and I sit down behind his desk, head on my arms bend forward over his desk with my upper body. “Your mother found out that hers wasn’t your father” Jack says calmly before sitting on the edge of his desk next to me. I look up with desperate eyes, not believing that he chooses right now to tell me all of this. “That’s why she went back to find him. She broke protocol and told him, he didn't believe her, thought she was crazy and froze her out. Because she broke the rules she was bound to stay there forever. That’s why I couldn’t bring her home” he places his hand on my shoulder.  _

Eric is starting to lose it and he paces before the screen. Eric keeps looking at the screen as if his life depended on it. 

_ “Why are you telling me all this?” my past self asks Jack.  _

_ “I think you know” Jack says and I did, I knew what he meant.  _

_ “Columbine” I say breathless, leaning back into the chair. “You think I should go back.”  _

Eric’s hands are in his hair.

_ “Yes I think your connection to Eric Harris can be off great value” Jack says talking business.  _

Eric turns around looking upset but says nothing and he turns back to look at the tv.

_ Angry as I was I flip Jack off. _

Eric takes a step back and semi turned towards me I see his eyes grow wide.

_ “You want me to use the fact that Eric is my.” I pause and place my hands on my stomach and heart trying to push out the hurt. “My soulmate, my star cross” but I can’t finish it. Shaking my head violently at Jack.  _

The tape ended and Eric is frozen solid. I see he’s looking right through the tv. He doesn’t move except for his head which is slowly turning to look at me but before he can reach me. The tape flickers on again, pulling Eric’s attention back. Then I appear on the tape again, in Jack’s office.

_ “You made an appointment to see me.” Jack says smiling at me from behind his desk.  _

_ “Yes that’s correct” I say looking a lot better then on the previous part of this tape. “I came to inform you that I’m going back for him” I say without a single hint of doubt on my face or in my voice. Jack just smiles at me, turns to the camera and it shuts off.  _

I knew he cut the tape there because after that I go on and talk about Eric like he’s business. Because I knew Jack would never let me travel back if he thought it wasn’t solemnly to stop Columbine from happening.

Eric’s words of how he doesn’t believe in soulmates is played on a loop in my head as I stand there with my back against the wall next to my bed. He knows now. But he’s still looking at the tv, seeing his reflection in the black screen. I feel my body shaking, scared of his reaction. Eventually what feels like a lifetime Eric turns around and looks at me. I don’t understand the look on his face. He exhales loudly, placing one hand over his abdomen. I force myself to smile at him but it’s a smile of desperation. Eric takes a step back and crosses his arms but three seconds later he puts his hands in his pockets. Only to place them on his hips before speaking to me.

“Well so I’ve uhm.” and he throws one hand in the air “is this for real? Is that a room that” but he can’t finish it because he starts to chuckle nervously and short. “I’m sorry I’m not laughing at you or anything this is just” and he takes a deep breath. 

I nod and say “yes it is” I’m fully aware that Eric now knows I came back for him because we’re soulmates. It sounds crazy to me, how should he be feeling right now? The connection between us is one of souls. One he doesn’t believe in.

“You want to explain how that works? Also is that a fact and not an opinion?” he asks pointing at the tv meaning soulmates undoubtable. 

“Eric I stepped into that room understanding absolutely nothing of how that works only what the outcome would mean.” I admit to him. “Yes it’s facts” I say to him. Remembering how I felt when I found out about this invention.

“Oh because I” and his hand is on his chest.

“Don’t believe in soulmates, I know” I say and he looks completely overwhelmed. Suddenly I’m overcome with the fear that I’ll end up like my mother. Not stuck here in time but rejected by Eric. I want to move but I can’t. I’m nailed to the floor. 

“No that wasn’t what I was gonna say.” Eric says and he takes off his hat to rub his hand through his hair and place the hat on again. He thinks for a moment “Is it okay if I don’t say anything?” he asks insecurely.

“Of course” I exclaim. “You uhm. I mean I’ve had years to think about it so” and I start to laugh loudly. “I’m sorry it’s just I’m feeling so much right now that I’m losing the ability to process it all” and I laugh again, Eric’s eyes grow bigger and he laughs with me.

“Yeah no kidding, I kinda feel the same” he says laughing. “Well fuck me.” he says turning around. “Can I use the bathroom real quick?” he asks.

“Of course” I say again and as soon as he closes the door behind him I let myself fall down on the bed. I need to collapse for a second.

Standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom Eric looks at himself. Soulmates. The connection is that they’re soulmates. It even sounds ridiculous in his head. But if he’s honest with himself, from the first moment he felt that pressing feeling in his chest and gut. He just knew she was something different from everybody else. There had been something about her he couldn’t put his finger on from even the first evening he talked to her. Opening the tap he lets water pool in his hands to splash on his face. Soulmates. What did she say? Star cross what? Lovers, star crossed lovers. She had to be talking about star crossed lovers. What are the fucking odds. This whole time he’s been asking girls he liked about what they think when they look at stars and here she is calling him her star crossed lover. He closes his eyes and rests his face in his hands, he’s exhausted. Is it really so ridiculous the notion of soulmates? He shakes his head having no idea and walks out of her bathroom and sees her belly down on her bed. She looks up at him and smiles the sweetest of smiles. God he loves her.

“Hey” I say looking at him as he walks my way. “You look exhausted” I tell him. 

“Yeah I hardly slept and with yesterday and now today, I’m sorry I need to sleep, I have to go home and sleep.” he says looking at me feeling guilty I’m sure. 

I’m disappointed he wants to leave but I get it “yeah I understand, I can sleep for a week myself.” I say sitting up feeling my whole body ache and my eyes still stinging from all the tears. Eric looks at me very intensely. 

“Good.” and then he walks over to the bed on the other side of me and sits down taking his shoes off. For a second I’m confused. He has his back turned to me. “Unless you want to sleep alone?” he asks.

_ He’s staying  _ I think happily. “Please stay” I say with a smile brighter than the sun on my face. Eric looks back at me and drops his jeans on the floor. I follow his lead taking off mine. Eric looks at me and my legs before he gets underneath the cover. I do the same and crawl towards him. He smiles and watches me curl up against him. I get in his arm lacing my legs through his and place my arm over his chest, letting my hand rest over his heart. My thumb at one point sinks down a little. I pay it no attention. 

“Thank you for staying.” I say so happy he didn't leave.

“I didn't want you to be alone.” he says softly in my hair. “And I didn't wanna leave” he has no idea how relieved I am. My hand runs over his chest as I go up to reach his face. Letting my thumb trace his jawline, I let my eyes close. “This is nice” he hums close to my ear.

“I agree wholeheartedly” I say smiling, he chuckles softly. 

“Are you okay?” he asks me gently, his lips against the top of my ear. I feel slumber washing over me.

“Am I okay? The question is, are you? I mean you’re here so I’m more than okay.” my voice drowsy. I feel his head turn to look at me and I look up at him. My eyes flutter open to make contact with his. “Eric?” I ask him.

“Of course I am. It was just..I thought it would be different, finding out the connection you know.” he says softly. My eyes now open wider. 

“Yes I do. Listen I’m really sorry if you’re disappointed.” I say turning my head down. My eyes closed again I feel his heartbeat increase under my palm. 

“Don’t say that, it’s not like that. Please know it isn’t.” he says kissing my hair, and then the top of my ear, followed by my earlobe. Now my heart rate increases as well. He stops there though and sinks down in his pillow, cuddled up against me. His arms around me tight, I feel his hand caress my back when I drift off. Somewhere in the far distance I think I hear him say “I love you” but it could very well be that I’m already dreaming. 

__ My eyes open just a little and my hand wanders off to find Eric but instead I find an empty space besides me that was filled with Eric just before. Turning around on my belly, popped up on my elbows I look towards the bathroom. The door is closed and I hear no sounds. My one brow rises and I look at the alarm clock, it’s already around dinner time. I fall back down on the bed again and wonder where Eric is. I push my right leg out from under the covers. Wanting to get up but my body still refuses. That’s when I hear the key turn in the lock. The door opens and in comes Eric with a hot drink that I hope is cappuccino. He’s very focussed on getting the door open without making a sound that he doesn’t see that I’m awake yet. When he closes the door as silent as he can that’s when I say.

“Please tell me that’s cappuccino” he got startled so bad at the first word.

“Jesus, you gave me a heart att” he turns around and stops talking when he sees my leg popped up. I follow his gaze and smile. “Hello” he says talking straight to my leg. 

“My eyes are up here you know” I say moving my leg from left to right teasing him.

“What would I need your eyes for” he says with a smirk on his face and he looks at me without shame, making me smile like an idiot. I sit up straight and cross my ankles one under and one above the covers. 

“Is that perhaps a cappuccino for me?” I say biting my bottom lip. 

“No, it’s the usual, when I came in that same lady we saw before asked me if I came to pick up the usual for my girl. She has no filter.” he laughs as he comes towards me to hand me the coffee.

“Thank you so much, I told you before a girl could get used to this. And yes she has no filter but the biggest heart” I say to Eric. 

“Hmm good thing you’re not a girl but a grandmother” he says chuckling. In response I pull the cover over my leg making Eric shake his head in disagreement. He comes to sit next to me and looks at his hands. 

“Eric, did you sleep?” I ask him worriedly.

“Yes, I did. It was perfect.” he says with that lopsided smirk on his face. “I woke up about 20 minutes ago” his hands are still very interesting to him. 

“Eric” - “Y/n” we say at the same time. We both smile and he says “grannies first” earning a playful hit from me. He grabs a hold of my hand and keeps it safe in his. 

“I just wanted to say that you can always talk to me about anything. The ugly thoughts as well. I’m not here for just the fun parts you know.” and I sit up straight. Eric’s smile disappears from his face. 

“What if the ugly is too ugly?” he asks frightened and shyly.

“Eric let me put it this way. I’m not going anywhere as long as you are here.” I pull his hand up and kiss it. He looks up at me. I can see the fear of rejection so clearly written in his eyes.

“What if you change your mind or something. People do that you know.” he says studying my hands.

“True, people do that. Not a lot of people travel through time for someone though” and a smile awaits his eyes on my face. Eric’s eyes light up a bit. 

“Good point.” he turns his body so he’s facing me now “what did that one thing in Dutch mean that you told me twice. You never really translated those words.” he looks straight at me. I smile at him and he smiles back. 

Taking a sip from my coffee I let out a small sound of approval. “It means what you already know, Eric.” 

“Which is?” he asks stretching the last word.

“Ik hou van jou.” I say looking straight into his eyes. “Eric Harris, I love you.” I grab his plaid shirt and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you.” and I smile so hard, he does too. He kisses me again and places his hand on my cheek.

“I” Eric kisses me “love” another kiss “you” and a final kiss before he sits back. Looking at me shortly and a little unsure of this whole situation. 

At the same time we say “one more” making us both smile before Eric leans in on me, cupping my face before he gives me the most loving kiss, so sweet and passionate. 

“Eric?” I ask him dreamily.

“Yeah?” he asks placing small kisses on my lips and chin going towards my neck.

“I’m hungry” I say smiling. That’s when the beast in my belly begins to roar having us both look down. 

“Seems like we’re going to get some food” Eric says chuckling. I smile at him when I take my pants off the floor. Eric averts his eyes and I walk over to my closet to get a clean shirt. Going into my bathroom I quickly get dressed. I fix my hair in an easy braid and pin it up so it creates a sort of rose effect. When I walk out Eric already has his black mid length jacket on. He looks at me while I come his way to put my own jacket on and grab my bag. 

“You look amazing.” he says with his eyes fixed on my hair and face.

“Thank you” I say walking to the tv to get the tape out of the recorder to place it in the black bag. Pushing the bag back under my bed I get up quickly and walk towards Eric. His eyes are almost sparkling. “What?” I ask smiling.

“Nothing, I was just looking at you, you’re beautiful.” he says joyful. I walk over to him and place one arm around his neck.

“Thank you, je bent geweldig.” I say smiling at him.

“Again with the language I don’t speak, I’m gonna have to learn Dutch one day.” he places one arm around my waist, looking down a little on my face.

“I’ll teach you myself” I say with a huge smile on my face.

“In June” Eric says smiling.


	19. All jokes aside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I hope everybody is healthy and well! Always feel free to let me know what you think :)

Walking all confident towards where I’m meeting Eric in a tight black basic shirt tucked into the army skirt I bought for Eric’s birthday. With pantyhose and my black low Converse on. My jacket already over my arm, I had to take it off because I was started to sweat but it was worth it. I see the table he is on, Eric, Mike, Robyn, Erik and two girls I’ve never met. I start to smile when I see Mike point in my direction and say something that makes at least Robyn cringe. Eric turns around and tries to play it cool but I see the corners of his mouth turn up, one higher than the other. When I reach them I walk over to stand next to Eric. And I nudge his arm as he greets me with a warm smile. 

“Hey guys” I say smiling, Robyn gets up to give me a quick hug. Looking at Mike I add “or should I say Guten tag?” and he gets a cheeky smile on his face. One of the girls I didn't recognize from a far was Brandi.

“Wait you do speak English?” she asks confused. 

“Yeah pretending to be German, that was all her idea. I swear I wanted to tell you.” Mike says quickly. I look at him with my brows raised.

“Do you really think anyone at this table believes you?” I ask him. Mike looks at me and then at Eric. Mike just points at Eric before sitting down all sulky, making me giggle. Eric follows his lead in sitting down. “Anyway, how is everyone?” I ask sitting down next to Eric.

“I’m good thanks” Erik answers “I had a lot of fun Friday” 

“Oh lord me too, best party ever” Robyn contributes “It was so fun especially hitting Mike, God such a highlight of my life” she reminisces. Mike dramatically rubs his cheek as he remembers with her.

“Wait what party?” Brandi asks.

“The surprise birthday party I threw Eric last Friday.” I tell her, she does not look amused. 

“Oh no I would have wanted to come” she pouts looking at Eric. She stretches her arms over the table and grabs his arm. Eric freezes a little at her touch. Which amuses me. “If I’d known I would have been there. You’re always nice” she says sweetly, probably a bit jealous. 

“Haven’t you heard? He’s a” Mike starts but is cut short because through the school speakers a loud and familiar beat drums up. Eric looks around and frowns. 

“That’s Rammstein” Eric says surprised.. 

“How is that blasting through the school speakers?” Robyn says smiling. The lyrics kick off and all around the commons people who recognise the song start to cheer and get up on tables. Mike starts to drum on the table, getting all aggressive. I look at Eric and bite my lip with wide eyes. “This is one hell of a senior prank” Robyn says raising her voice to get over the loud music. I start to laugh and look around. A few teachers run through the commons undoubtable on their way to shut it off. From all sides they get accidentally walked into by students laughing their asses off. 

Eric leans into me and says just loud enough for me to hear “did you have anything to do with this?” 

I look at him in shock and place my hand on my chest “what?” and I start to smile. 

“Oh my god it is you” Mike yells and I feel my mouth turn into a smirk.

“What, I’m not even going to this school” I yell laughing now. “Guys I’m flattered” I say looking at Eric, his eyes pierce right through me making me a little shy in front of his friends. He smiles and licks his lips. He knows. 

Robyn places her hand on my arm “is this you?” she asks loudly with sparkling eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Eric and I had dinner last night though it was a lot of fun” I say going over them. Beside me Eric looks all happy that I just said it to everyone.

“As in a date?” Mike asks wiggling his eyebrows. “Did you know she went on a date with me first?” Mike tells Brandi.

“She did not” Brandi blurts out.

“That is correct.” I say to her voice still raised to get over the music. Robyn looks at Eric and I see her giving him a look that means ‘I knew it’ Eric starts to blush a little.

“Let’s crash Mcdonalds or something” Robyn says and then the music is shut off. Aaaaahw the whole crowd goes nsync. I look down on my hands and smile. 

“Yeah lets” I say looking at Eric. 

“Sure, fine by me” he says looking at lot more cheerful than the last time we went to Mcdonalds. Mike, Erik and Brandi are all in. We go in two cars, Robyn’s and Eric’s. The boys in one and the girls in the other. I let Brandi sit in the passenger seat next to Robyn. I’m sitting behind Brandi and Robyn hasn’t even backed out of the parking space when Brandi asks.

“Are you and Eric really together?”

Robyn and I look at each other in the rearview mirror and she shakes her head no giving me the impression I shouldn’t talk about these things to her. Luckily Robyn is the real m.v.p. and says “she doesn’t do personal questions.” Looking at Brandi she tries not to laugh. “By the way did that drawing on your foot come off easy?” she asks laughing.

“Stupid dare, I had to scrub so bad” I say laughing, Robyn laughs as well. 

“We have to meet up one day so you can teach me how to make those cake pops, they were amazing” Robyn says stressing the last word. 

“Definitely” I say smiling to her “hey how was the car ride with Dylan Friday?” I ask and she looks at me in the mirror I wiggle my brows, Mike style. She snickers.

“It was fine I guess, we talked a bit about prom but it was all casual.” and I see a little pout on her face “as usual really” and she keeps her eyes focussed on the road. 

“Are you going to prom, Brandi?” I ask her knowing damn well she has no plans. 

“No I don’t think so, nobody I liked asked so I decided to just stay home” she explains. 

“Don’t you wanna go with friends?” Robyn asks her.

“Not really, I also don’t even have a dress so. No it’s not happening” she looks at her nails “I’m gonna get my nails done Saturday, get a haircut all those things you know.” she says cheerful as a happy teenager. 

“All important things” I say a little sarcastic although I enjoy getting haircuts and such as well. 

“Exactly” she says happier than before. We spot Mcdonalds and of course Eric and the guys are already there.

“I swear they all drive like maniacs” Robyn says parking her car. 

“That’s because they are” I say laughing. We get out of the car and walk towards the boys.

“Did you guys stop in Texas on the way?” Mike asks “we’ve been here for days” making me chuckle. 

“Come on I’m starving” Robyn says as we walk in. Eric walks up besides me and places his hand on my back. A rush flows through my body and when I turn to look at him I’m semi tempted to place a kiss on his face somewhere.That’s when Mike throws his arm around me and Eric from behind. Placing his head in between ours.

“I see hell is preparing for a wedding?” 

Quickly Eric opens his mouth “don’t start, not now”. Mike rolls his eyes but pulls back and leaves it. For now. When we all have our orders we want to walk over to a table in the back when suddenly a finger taps my shoulder and a guy comes walking up besides me. Eric is looking at it all very closely with unamused eyes.

“Oh crap” I say looking at the guys face. He is standing next to me and his friends are behind him.

“That’s the chick from this morning.” he tells his friends making me suck in my lips.

“Chick from this morning?” Eric asks on edge. The others are frowning while they look at this picture.

“Yeah she paid me 30$ to blast that song through the speakers. Easy money man” and he winks at me before walking back with his friends “told you guys she was insanely hot” he says shamelessly for us all to hear. Everybody is looking at me now. Mouths open and eyes wide.

“I fucking knew it.” Mike says while he starts to clap “a round of applause for the lady” he says impressed.

“Oh stop that you idiot” I say walking through the group while they all clap, even Brandi who up until now didn't even know I spoke English. “Okay that’s enough, damn I paid him 10 more to shut up” I say shaking my head. Eric comes to sit next to me. He looks at me and he’s smiling. “What?” I ask looking at him. He just smiles but then Mike says.

“Damn you’ve been on fire ever since you came here, parties, kicking Jeremy and jocks ass. Now this. It can only go down from here” he says before chomping on his burger. I look at Eric and bite my lip.

“Shit he’s right.” I say chuckling. Eric smiles and shakes his head. “No I swear he is oh my god it hurts..” I say closing my eyes grabbing a hold of my head.

Worried Eric asks “what are you okay?” 

“Yes it’s just agreeing with Mike. It’s painful. Make it stop” I say dramatically to Eric who’s now laughing as well as the rest. Mike however looks at me with his mouth full and does nothing but flip me off. Eating our food we talk about random stuff. At one point Erik told a joke and now we’re all telling jokes. 

“Have any of you seen Good Will Hunting?” I ask them. They all shake their heads no. “Really, nobody? I’m disappointed. That is a good movie, like really good. Okay but that means none of you know the famous joke from that movie right?” I ask looking around. Again all no’s. Seeing as I have a vanilla milkshake I can perfectly perform this joke. “Are you guys ready?” I ask. “So Morty and Annet are married for 50 years, they are both grey and old. It’s Morty’s birthday and Annet asks her beloved husband what he wants for his birthday. Since they are not very active in bed anymore Morty asks for a blowjob” I say looking at them, seeing all of their brows raised. Following me closely. Eric looks intrigued. “So, Annet takes out her teeth” earning me a storm of disgusted yelps. “And she starts to give Morty head like he’s in heaven. Morty is besides himself with pleasure so when he unloads himself in her mouth he is so happy he says my dear Annet oh I love you, is there anything you want? I’ll give it to you right now.” I look at their faces they are all stunned and look at me in awe for what's to come. “Well since you asked Annet says.” and I take a big sip from my milkshake and turn my head to Eric. “Give us a kiss honey” I say letting the white milkshake spill over my lips. Eric closes his eyes and starts to laugh so hard. At one point he says “gross”. The rest of the table is roaring while I take a napkin to clean myself, laughing with them. Mike is slamming the table as he shakes from laughing. People from the other tables are now looking at us. Biting my lip as they all look at me. Mike stands up from the table and behind me he gets on one knee.

“Please marry me” Mike says holding up an imaginary box. Eric rolls his eyes and pushes down hard on Mike’s shoulder making him fall to the floor. I hold my hand in front of my mouth laughing. Mike is now on the floor on his back. He gets up slowly.

“You are hilarious” Erik says still laughing.

“Oh my god that was nasty” Robyn says and Brandi nods in agreement.

“What the hell is that movie about?” Eric asks still chuckling. I smile at him.

“More than that glorious joke, we should watch it sometime.” I tell him. When we’re all over the shock this joke brought with it we finish our food all except my milkshake.

Everytime I take a sip Mike says “yeah you like that huh”. Making it impossible for me to finish it. We walk out the Mcdonalds and back to the cars. I walk up to Eric before we go.

“Hey Robyn is gonna drop me off at my place.” I tell Eric.

“Alright. I’ll come by after school yeah?” he asks. I nod.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did.” I say smiling.

“No you wouldn’t?” he asks licking his lips.

“Nope not even a little bit” and I smile. There is almost palpable tension between the two of us.

“Alright I’ll see you later” Eric says before walking to his car. I could see in his eyes that he hates having to hide that we’re closer than this. I turn around to walk to Robyn and see her eyes sparkle.

“What” I ask with big smile on my face. 

“Nothing” she says laughing.

“Yeah yeah, let's go.” I say walking to her car. Brandi is now in the back. I push the seat back and sit down. Robyn starts to drive and Brandi asks.

“Hey are you going to prom with Eric, y/n?” 

I look at Robyn who asks “yeah are you?” 

Taking in a deep breath I answer truthfully “I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.” and that familiar gut wrenching feeling comes up again. I’m glad I don’t have to be around people for much longer. That devastating uncertainty creeps up over me. My heart is beating out of my chest and for the rest of the ride I just smile and try to talk as casual as I can muster up. When I see my motel I sigh in relief. 

“You live in a motel?” Brandi asks a little disgusted.

“Yeah, for now. I’m just not sure if I wanna settle here or not” I push myself to tell her. 

“I don’t think Eric will mind if you stay” she says innocently. My eyes close and I feel myself getting nauseous. 

“Neither will I” Robyn ads and she looks at me with a sweet smile. The video of Robyn talking to the news station after the tragedy flashes through my mind. Finally the car is parked. I smile at her and get out of the car, offering Brandi a hand as she climbs out. She takes it, thanks me and sits in the front seat. We say our goodbyes and I can finally lock myself in. The room is a comfort in this moment. I grab a notebook to start writing my thoughts down. I made a habit of writing everything down. For me. To keep myself sane in this strange place I call reality. Hardly two pages in there’s knocking on my door. I look at the door for a moment before I get up. In front of the door I say “who’s there”.

“Morty” Eric says chuckling. I close my eyes and smile. Turning the key I open the door. Eric is standing there with a smile on his face. “Come on let's go get you a coffee.” he says sweetly.

“No I’m good.” I smile as he comes in. “For now” I add. “Shouldn’t you be in school still?” I ask him with a brow raised. He walks in and then Eric takes a few steps closer to me. Standing in front of me with his hands behind his back he starts to smile. 

“Maybe” and he takes another step closer “do you want me to come back later?” he asks licking his lips as he looks at mine. 

“What do you think?” I say placing a flirtatious kiss on his lips while I pull his arms from behind him and take his hands in mine. “Do you think I want you to leave?” and I place our palms together with our hands raised a little. Eric laces our fingers together.

“It doesn’t really matter” he says challenging.

“Why is that?” I ask as he pulls on my arms till my chest hits his, he looks down and his lips part.

“Because I’m not going anywhere” he looks into my eyes with that lopsided smirk on his face. He’s agonisingly close but makes no move to kiss me. Looking from his eyes to his lips and back I ask him. I knew I felt tension rise outside of the Mcdonalds.

“Aren’t you gonna kiss me Harris?” our lips just two small inches apart.

“Do you want me to?” he asks very confident.

“Are you going to make me beg?” I say pushing my face forwards so that when I lick my lips I touch his with my tongue as well. Eric takes in a deep breath.

Exhaling loudly before he says “don’t tempt me” and he comes so close that our lips touch but ever so slightly. I open my lips and let my tongue brush over his. Eric’s eyes close and I feel tension ten fold when he opens them again. Lust pouring out of his eyes when he tilts his head.

“Two can play the game of the tease” I say against his lips. He has to give in so he opens his mouth before placing his lips over mine, his tongue pressing in with no excuses. Willingly I let him in as my whole body reacts to this heated moment. Feeling my mouth open wide to give him all the room to roam my mouth I feel him growing in his pants. I let go of his hands and pull him closer to me by his lower back. His hands waste no time finding my bosom. We’re standing there, dancing through our lust for each other. Feeling one another, tasting the two of us melt together. Eric’s tongue is restless, he’s heated and getting sloppy. I push him away from me and he looks at me with hot-blooded eyes, ready to devour me. “Eric” my voice thick with lust as I continue “I wanna try something”. There’s question in his eyes. I turn us around and push Eric to sit down on the bed. I bite my lip as I kneel down between his legs. His eyes are huge and he doesn’t move a single muscle. I start to unbuckle his belt, open his zipper and I push his pants down a little. Eric is completely silent while I do all this. I lean in and lick his hard on through his briefs. A short breath rolls over Eric’s lips. When I place my lips over his outline I feel his hands move to grip the covers of my bed. I look up at him and see his mouth is open and his eyes are closed. Pulling his briefs down to uncover him, his tip is already wet. Firm I pump his length with one hand before I let my tongue run from the base of his shaft all the way up to the tip. “Aah” Eric reacts to my tongue. In no time I take him in my mouth. Placing my mouth tightly around him with my tongue flattened. Slowly I move my mouth down. Soft noises leave Eric’s mouth as I keep going further and further down. Going up again I let my eyes wander up and I see Eric is looking down on me working him. He makes eye contact with me and lets out a sharp breath. I go down again and up. My tongue caressing him as I go. I feel him move a little and I place a hand on his shaft to pump him while I move my mouth over him. Eric starts to breathe loudly, panting even. When I go down I push him in as far as I can and this pushes Eric to his final stretch. “Fuck” he says when I quicken up my pace, he starts to throb a little and Eric says “oh fuck” his hand even shoots up to my head. I keep pushing him deeper into my mouth, my one hand on his shaft and the other on his hip. I feel him starting to buck up a little, he’s holding back I can feel it. “Shit I’m close” he says as a warning probably but I keep him in and let him push against the back off my throat where he really can’t go any further. I feel him spill in the back of my throat, Eric lets out a deep and passionate growls as his hand tangles into my hair the other one gripping the covers. I slowly pump him as he releases everything he has. When I feel it’s getting too sensitive I stop and take my mouth off of him. Eric still has his hand in my hair as I look up biting my lip. He looks at me with his mouth open and I can see his chest going up and down in a very fast pace. He doesn’t say anything until I get up. He grabs my hips and keeps me in place.

“Where are you going?” he says while letting his hands run up my legs underneath my skirt.

“I’m going to get cleaned up a bit.” I say looking down on him. Eric however has other plans.

“I don’t think so” he says before he pulls my pantyhose down with my panties in one go. I look down on Eric whose hands feel a lot more nervous now then a few second before. I boost his confidence when I bend over and step out of my shoes and underwear. He looks at my legs and pushes my skirt up. For a moment he just looks at my exposed body, but quick enough he pulls me onto the bed. I crawl up a bit but Eric is in a hurry and not even halfway on the bed he opens my legs and gives himself access to me. Without hesitation he places his open mouth over my warmth and a wave of lust washes over me as Eric starts to devour me. His tongue is leaving no spot untouched and rather than trying to please me he’s exploring every single inch of me. His mouth still wide open he lets his tongue enter me and I arch my back moaning at his eagerness. He’s sloppy, uncoordinated and leaves me very wet. His hands on the inside of my thighs, holding me tight against his mouth. He starts to find a pace just a little and his tongue is now going up and down. Slow, agonising slow. I start to moan and I feel Eric react to it when he breathes out against me. Looking at him I see him mad with lust, having me his way. Again he feels a little less uncoordinated when his tongue is starting focus on my sensitive weak spot, twirling around pressing down softly. I can’t hold back, all this build up tension brings me on a fast track to my own peak. “Eric don’t stop” I say hoping he can keep doing what he does before I lose my pathway to the peak. He stays on track and guides himself to the depth of my core. My hips bucking up shamelessly as I get slammed with my high. My muscles tighten and I almost sit up a moaning mess. “Fuck” I moan out as I feel my heart pound in my chest before falling back down with my hands beside my head. Panting like I’ve ran a marathon. I see Eric’s face when I look down. He’s overcome by lust, confidence level over a 100 and he crawls up on top of me, bottom half still bare. He comes up to meet my face and he pushes my head to the side with his nose as he begins to kiss my neck, then I feel his dick against my leg and I know what he’s going for before he tells me.

“I want you, fuck I want you so bad” he whispers in my ear. He even leans down touching my warmth with his hard on, his shaft against my warmth. I moan loudly and for a second I almost give in. I want to, I want to so badly, but I shouldn’t. Eric’s panting in my neck as he rubs himself against me, begging for entrance.

“No Eric wait.” I whimper. He looks at me and he licks his lip, driving me mad. “We don’t have anything and I’m not sure I’m ready” I close my eyes and cover them with one hand. Eric stays where he is for a moment then I feel Eric pulling up his briefs and he lies down on his back next to me. Turning to look at him he looks completely aroused with red cheeks and all. 

He looks back and says “alright then we wait, goddammit” he chuckles softly and he pulls me into his arms. “I’m gonna wanna do that again really soon though”.

“You won’t hear me complaining” I say smiling. 

“No cause your mouth will be full again” he says deviously and playful. 

“Harris how rude” I say but I can’t help but laugh.

“Damn this was” but he can’t even finish the sentence he’s smiling like an idiot. Passages of his journal come to mind and I can’t help myself.

“Yeah I agree and you didn't even have to trick me into your room” I say, Eric freezes and looks at me in shock. 

“And the moment is over” he says sitting up, pulling his pants up. He turns to look at me and he has a shocked smile on his face. “I can’t believe you just said that” but he chuckles.

“Harris you grapjas, you know you like me this playful” I say sitting up again. 

“That sounded horrible, what kind of word is that?” he asks smiling while he comes closer to me. I’m now sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Grapjas means something like funny one. Usually used sarcastically.” I say smiling. Eric comes closer and holds my face in his hands.

“You’re right though I love your borderline creepy future comments” big grin on his face. He leans down because he wants to give me a kiss.

“You really ready to taste yourself?” I ask him biting my lip to not laugh at his facial expression. He freezes, looks down on me and not only lets my head go but with a little force pushes me on my back again. 

“Time to go” he says going straight into the bathroom. Leaving me behind laughing really hard on the bed. While he’s in there I take a moment to gather up clean clothes to take with me when he’s done.

When Eric comes out he looks very content and he smiles sweetly. As I walk past him he takes me in his arms and kisses my cheek, not once, not twice but three times before he lets me go to get cleaned up. I take my time before I get out, brushing my teeth as well and fixing my hair in a easy low bun. When I get out I’m startled by what I see. Eric is watching the tape. I walk up to him and see he’s at the part when I’m on the floor telling Jack it’s him. “I’m sorry, I didn't touch anything else in the bag. I promise, I just wanted to watch this again.” he says letting his eyes go back and forth between the screen and me. I’m a little insecure as to why he’s doing so and I imagine it shows because Eric gets up. “I’m sorry are you upset?” he asks anxiously.

“No I’m not upset, just confused. It’s okay” I say not really sure how I feel about it. 

“You’re upset” he says and he quickly shuts the tape off. I walk over to the tv and press play. 

“Maybe a little but you can watch it. I promise. It’s okay” and I walk over to him placing my arms around his neck “just ask next time please?”. Eric smiles and nods yes. 

“I will sorry.” he says sweetly before turning to the screen again. I go to sit on the bed. Feeling a little less heavy than yesterday. Eric comes to sit next to me. He watches me slump over the desk in Jack's office and he looks at me watching the screen. 

“Do you miss him?” he asks me. I smile and look at Eric. 

“Yes. I miss everyone from back home.” I tell him honestly. “I knew I would.” Eric looks back at the screen. I do the same. Out of nowhere I feel Eric taking my hand in his while he continues to look at the screen. My heart skips a few beats at how loving this feels on his part. 

_ “I came to inform you that I’m going back for him”  _

Eric doesn’t say anything and I’d give everything to know what’s on his mind. “A penny for your thoughts” I say to him.

“Still cheap” he says grinning “I’m not sure what I’m thinking, but I promised as soon as I do figure out I’ll tell you.” he turns to look at me. A smirk appearing on his face. 

“Why are you looking at me like that? I ask him apprehensive of what this look means. Eric comes dangerously close to my face with his. “Harris tell me right now” I say trying to sound stern. He keeps coming closer and eventually pushes me back on the bed. “Harris stop right now” I say with a smile on my face.

“No” he says and he starts to tickle my sides.

“I swear if you do not stop right now” I say squirming under his hands. 

“You’re gonna what wiggle even more?” Eric says laughing. I get up on my elbows and crawl up, Eric follows with the eyes of a predator. He pushes me down with his body and lets his hand go through my hair. He licks his lips and I feel we need to get up before we never get out of this room.

“Eric, I want to go get coffee” I say looking into his eyes. He looks down and kisses me. 

“Then coffee we’ll get you” he says before leaning down again to find my lips. He gets back up and helps me up. We put on our jackets and before we go out I pull his arm. He’s startled by it “what?” he asks with big eyes.

I pout and Eric gets so confused “one more” I say still pouting.

“You scared me, stop pouting” he says before kissing me. I keep the pout on my face. “Stop doing that” Eric tells me. I frown my brows and pout even harder. “What is wrong with you?” and he starts to chuckle. I start to laugh and kiss him. 

“Nothing let’s go get me coffee” and I skip on out of the room. Eric locks the door. “Uhm excuse me, give me back my key.” I say to Eric semi insulted.

“No no, toddlers can’t play with keys, they might get hurt.” Eric says putting the keys in his pocket. My mouth drops open. 

“Eric give me back my keys.” I say when he starts to walk faster towards the coffee place. 

“Nope” he says laughing. We cross the road and when we enter the coffee place we’re greeted by the lovely owner. Eric is dangling the keys now in front of me. 

“Is he stealing your keys love?” she asks smiling.

“As a matter a fact yes he is” I say looking at Eric who’s still smiling.

“That just means you should give him his own set.” she indeed has no filter. Eric looks flustered and I just laugh.

“If I do that then he’ll never leave me alone” I say to her, making Eric a little shy.

“Honey is that such a bad thing he’s been here more than once to get you a coffee.” and she winks at Eric.

Now I’m flustered. Eric with new found confidence throws his arm around me with the keys next to my face and pulls me to a table. “Yes honey give me a key” he says snickering. I roll my eyes and sit down, waiting impatiently for my coffee. Eric across from me looks at me with a tilted head. Tension is still bouncing between us. He takes my hands in his and kisses both hands, blatantly in front of the window. Making my heart flutter. The owner comes with my coffee and a hot chocolate for Eric, even though Eric didn't ask for something. On her tray she also has two pieces of cake. 

“Uh we didn't order all that.” I say to her. 

“I know but it’s all on the house today” she says before leaning down to continue talking in my ear. I place my hands in front of my mouth trying to hold back laughter. She chuckles as she leaves us with our drinks and cake. 

“What did she say?” Eric asks quickly hanging over the table. I start to giggle as I lean forward.

“She said we need to keep our strength up seeing as we’re obviously having sex as of today” I start to laugh so hard and I see her laughing behind the counter. Eric is in utter shock.

“You’re shitting me” he says a little loud. Making me laugh even harder. 

“Nope” and I smile looking at him. “Does it matter though, free food” I say sticking out my tongue as I look at the cake. Eric laughs and says I have a point. We eat our cake and drink our hot beverages. Eric’s eyeing me down continuously. Making me very aware of what we just did. Licking my lips as I take another sip Eric seems to be thinking the same thing. “You need to go soon” I tell Eric.

He looks at me with an empty look “you know I have to work” and he closes his eyes and shakes his head “of course you do” 

“Want me to come hang out at the end?” I ask him smiling.

“Do you even have to ask?” he says seriously.

I shrug and take my last sip of coffee looking at him. When I’m done we walk out and he hands me my key. “Thank you” I say to him but he takes my hand as he gives me the key, holding now my hand and the key. 

“That’s the spirit” we hear a familiar voice coming from the right. We turn to look and it’s the cafe owner winking at us as she throws out the trash. We smile as we walk towards the motel. 

“She’s a piece of work, really irritating” Eric says visible annoyed.

“What, she’s lovely. I like her” I tell Eric. 

“You would because you’re kinda like her. She’s your future” he says and starts to laugh simultaneously.

“Rude” I is all I say as we walk towards his car. He opens his car door and almost goes in but he changes his mind. 

Eric walks up to me and gives me a big kiss. “I want to flaunt you for fucks sake” he smiles smugly and walks back to his car leaving me behind stunned and with butterflies all through my body. I smile at him as he drives off. Turning back into my motel room I see the bed with the covers all a mess. I place the nail of my thumb between my teeth as I think about what just happened here. The hunger in his body, feeling him against me. I wanted to throw all caution out in the wind and just let him be one with me. Something stopped me though, a nagging horrible voice in the back of my head.  _ What if he’s just trying to get laid..? _ I know that’s not true but do I really want to go that far with him when there’s still so much uncertainty surrounding NBK. I wish I knew more about how it all went down with Dylan. Some part of me wanted to just go visit Dylan and find out but his previous outburst kept me at bay. Dylan doesn’t have to work tonight either so I’m not seeing him there either. It’s the last week. I feel the stress building up in my gut. A shower might ease my mind a little. Once I’m in the shower I find out that was a big mistake. Here I’m sitting torn between my still present arousal and sadness over all the what if’s. “What if is a portal to hell” I say softly quoting my dad. I let my eyes fall closed until I can open them less frightened and alone. I feel so alone when Eric’s not around. Would I ever be able to handle that if it comes to this? Sighing loudly I let the water flow freely over my body until I can no longer postpone my exit out of the shower. 

Later that evening I’m getting ready to go meet Eric at Blackjack. I’m not hungry so I didn't use the phone at the front desk to call there with an order. Driving up there I park as close to the entrance as I can. Walking up to the door I stop in my tracks. In Blackjack I see Eric talking to Dylan. Both in uniform, the conversation looks a little heated, no one else is around. As soon as a colleague comes walking in they stop talking and I feel like I’m getting stabbed in the back because all air gets hit out of my lungs as I see how easy they pull they’re happy masks on again. Pretending everything is fine with not a care in the world. They’re experts at fooling people, what if Eric has been fooling me this whole time? Dylan’s words over how Eric didn't have time for him like before push this thought away. I take a deep breath and open the door to walk in. Eric and Dylan both look my way. Eric seems uneasy and not happy as he comes walking up to me.

“Can I talk to you for a minute outside?” he asks as he walks to the door I just came in through.

“Okay” I answer looking at Dylan whose expression is too neutral to feel sincere. 

Eric closes the door behind me and walks all the way back to my car with me, scaring me a bit. 

“I’ve been nervous like hell the past hour. You didn't call.” he says anxious and a little angry.

“I wasn’t hungry so I figured I didn't need pizza, sorry” I tell him.

“I thought you weren’t coming” Eric says honestly. “And then Dylan showed up to take over a shift” he says looking back at Blackjack. 

“Should I go?” I ask him unsure of what to think.

“No.” Eric says angry. “No you don’t have to go he’s just gonna have to deal with it.” 

“Eric, do you realise how different this is for you and Dylan?” I ask him thinking he definitely doesn’t.

“Well yeah but that doesn’t mean he has to act like this” Eric says judgemental.

“Really, if roles were reversed would you be able to keep your cool?” I ask him a little apprehensive of his reaction. Eric looks at me and back to the pizzaria, his hands on his hips. 

“Well I mean no but I tried to explain.” he tells me but then he rubs the back of his neck. “It’s been him and me for so long that we both struggle with how different everything is now” he says reasonable. I smile at him but he doesn’t smile back. “I’m sorry about what I said before, I was just afraid you weren’t coming and then Dylan. I’m struggling so fucking hard right now. I can’t even say what I want to either of you. I’m so frustrated and confused.” Eric says looking at the rental. Looking at Eric I can see him battling and I know I can’t do anything to ease this for him.

“I know, I do. This must be so incredible hard on you. On Dylan too. Listen I can go.” I say and Eric looks up at me. “Really it’s okay, so you can be with your friend and see if you can figure at least just a little bit out. I don’t want you or Dylan to hurt.” I say and Eric keeps looking at me. 

“It’s a little too late for that don’t you think?” Dylan’s voice says out in the silence of the parking lot. Eric and I both turn to look at him. Dylan is standing there with a smoke in his left hand. “This is the biggest clusterfuck ever.” Dylan says looking at the two of us. “I have the feeling I’m gonna draw the short end of the stick here” he says so calm, it’s scary. Like the calmness over me when I showed Eric the tape. 

“Man let’s not do this” Eric says to Dylan. 

“Do what? Finally decide if NBK is a yes or a no?” Dylan says looking at me. I’m not even capable of breathing. It hasn’t been decided yet. There’s a crushing weight on my chest making it difficult to understand everything that’s going on. “Because I think we all know” and Dylan points at us all one by one “that the decision isn’t in my hands.” I look at Eric who has a frightening expression on his face.

“I said let’s not do this” he repeats himself, obviously this is a conversation he doesn’t want me to be around. 

“Listen I’m gonna go” I say shaky. Dylan and Eric both say in union.

“No” and they look at each other, it’s a proper stand off and apparently I’m a witness. I feel sick to my stomach looking at them.

“Don’t talk to her like that” Eric bites to Dylan who looks untouched by these words.

“What and you can?” he retorts. I feel my head getting fuller and fuller and I place my hands on my head. “Don’t you think she’s free to” but that’s where Dylan gets cut short.

“Shut up both of you” I yell out. Dylan and Eric look at me equally startled. “Aren’t you supposed to be friends. Two man war against the world right?” I say to them. “Well why don’t you two get a fucking grip and realise shit may have changed but you’re still friends. There is no betrayal, there is only change. Eric didn't betray you, he just got hit by this force he never expected to be hit with Dylan.” I say looking at Dylan. “And Dylan also has no fucking clue what to do with himself only he has to figure it out all by himself Eric. He doesn’t have someone to talk to like you do.” I say with my hands up looking at Eric. “The two of you lack empathy and it shows. Dylan you off all people should understand that Eric can’t stay unbothered after finding someone who accepts him for who he is rather than who he has to be or pretends to be.” Dylan looks at Eric and back at me, Eric has his eyes on me. “You Eric, need to understand how it must be for Dylan to be all alone in a situation that fucks with the mind like this one does. You just said it yourself how confused you are.” I place my hands in front of my face and when I open them the boys look at each other. “I’m so sorry.” I say looking at the both of them. “I am so truly sorry I can’t make this easier on you Dylan and you” I say looking at Eric. “Dylan I’m especially sorry you have to go through this alone, you can talk to me. I promise and if you want I can even talk to people who know a whole lot more than I do for you.” That’s where I stop. 

Eric still looks at me and Dylan looks at the both of us. Then Eric turns to Dylan. “She does know people” he says softly. Dylan looks at him and then to me. His face hardens and he doesn’t respond. 

“I think I should go” I say looking at Eric. It’s Dylan that responds.

“No you don’t. You can stay.” his voice still calm “it’s alright” he says nodding. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want shit to happen at work.” Eric says a lot less calm then Dylan. 

“It’s all good just one thing.” and he takes the final drag off his smoke “stop pretending like I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you. Both of you have told me what the deal is and today I see you two sitting in that coffee place and you’re holding her hands kissing them and shit as I drove by. I hate that you two pretend to not be together around me.” Dylan says looking at us. I look at Eric and he looks just as shocked as I am. “I’m no goddamn fool” and with that said he turns around and walks back in. His golden locks flowing through the gentle breeze in tonight's air. Leaving us behind in complete shock. It takes a little while before I can look at Eric but when I do he has one brow raised.

“Well I didn't expect that.” I say breathlessly. 

“You can say that again, from the both of you” Eric says looking at me. I look at him and mouth sorry. “Don’t be” he says simply. “You were right about everything.” and then he smiles. “Do you have any idea how frustrating that is, I can’t even argue. Must be wisdom that comes with age” 

“Jesus christ Harris” I say but I can’t help but smile. “Or you know common sense” I say to him as we walk towards Blackjack.

“Okay thanks” he says before opening the door for me. I walk in and see Dylan working on a pizza. He looks up at me and gives me a small smile that looks a lot more genuine then the first reaction when I came in. The atmosphere is easy and we actually have fun the three of us and a couple of other colleagues. Granted their presence is probably a big help in keeping it casual but nonetheless we have a pleasant last hour at their job. I even help them clean up at the end of their shifts. Afterwards we sit the four of us outside for a while just talking. Chilling after work like regular people. For a brief moment I feel completely normal and not out of place at all. Which scares the shit out of me. 


	20. Feelings spill over sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers, here is a new chapter :)
> 
> Please DO NOT read the note at the end of this chapter before you read it because then a part will be spoiled!

I’m meeting Eric later today. Not after school immediately because he was needed at home. So it’s little after lunch and I’m thinking about going out, have some food and do some shopping, maybe finally get that haircut. One foot in my shoe and there’s a knock on the door. Wondering who that is I go to the door I ask “who is it?” a sweet voice on the other end says.

“It’s Robyn” this surprises me. I open the door and there she stands with a wide smile.”Hey am I interrupting you?” she asks politely.

“I was just on my way to head out but please interrupt me. How are you?” I say putting on my other shoe.

“Good thanks and you?” she asks with her hands folded together before her belly. “I was kinda wondering if you’d like to go shopping? I need some hair stuff and I figured maybe you’d be interested in coming with?” she smiles.

“I’m fine and as a matter of fact I was about to do some shopping of my own, window shopping most likely but still. So perfect. I might get a haircut though” and I put on my jacket. and get my stuff. 

“Cool” Robyn says friendly as I step out.

“Let’s go in seperate cars though so we can go our separate parts whenever.” I tell her.

“Okay, follow me.” Robyn says as she goes to her car and I to mine. I follow her car and when we reach the shops I can even park next to her. Looking at each other while we both need two tries to park properly we laugh and when we step out we decide no one has to know. Robyn knows exactly where to go for the stuff she needs so we start there. She wants some hairspray and hair mask because she’s curling her hair. When she tells me all this I feel incredibly guilty because I know. I know about her beautiful blue dress, the long gloves and the curls she’s planning on wearing for that evening. Even her corsage is no surprise to me. I listen closely to everything she has to say. She’s out for the day Saturday and she’s really scared she’s not going to be home in time, it’s a tight schedule. I have to hold in an evil snicker when I tell her she’s going to make it, that I’m positive she will. I feel evil and feel like I’m borderline breaking the rules. When she has everything we get out of the store and we walk to the little coffee stand and get ourselves some coffee. Warm drinks in hand we decide to walk past some shops Robyn thinks I’d like and she’s right. A cute clothing store that hits me like a brick with how 90s everything is. Which is perfectly natural when it’s 1999 but when you’re stuck with your head in 2020 it’s a whole different ball game. 

“Hey you wanted to get a haircut right? Let's go see if it’s busy, probably not cause it’s a Tuesday just after school.” Robyn guides me to where we need to go. Getting there she opens the door for me to walk in after her and I feel like I need to throw up. Behind a desk sits Susan Dewitte writing things down in what I think is an agenda. She’s talking to a woman who’s sitting in the barbers chair close to her. Her smile so pretty, she looks so sweet. 

“Y/n?” Robyn asks but I barely hear her because in my head all I hear are Eric’s lines, some of the last lines before it all happened.  _ Susan, sorry. Under different circumstances it would’ve been a lot different. I want you to have that Fly cd. That’s it. Sorry. Goodbye.  _

“Y/n are you okay?” Robyn is now standing in front of me and I’m not doing so well. I start to breath really heavy and I feel my lungs collapse in my body. In a haze I see Susan stand up from her desk walking towards me. 

“Hey are you okay? Go sit down” Susan says as she places her hand on my arm. I look down on her hand and I feel tears running down my cheeks. Breathing getting heavier by the second. “Hold on I’m going to get you some water” she says as she lets go of my arm. I look up at Robyn and I feel the panic that must be in my eyes. 

“Get me out of here, I want to go outside.” I manage to tell her in between heavy breaths. Robyn reacts immediately and takes my hand. She quickly brings me outside, to the bench that Dylan and I sat on just a couple of days ago. I take off my jacket and try to focus on my breathing. Tears still streaming over my cheeks. The fresh air helps clear out my head a little and I close my eyes. “Focus” I tell myself and with one step at a time I manage to get out of my panic attack. When I open my eyes I see Susan walking towards us with a white mug in her hands. She looks genuinely worried. 

“They told me you went outside so I thought I’d bring it to you here.” she tells me while she hands me the mug of cold water. Turning her attention to Robyn she continues “if there’s anything else she needs come let me know okay?” and she turned around and left us to sit outside. The cold creeping up on me so I put my jacket back on. Drinking my water I feel my hands shake. 

“I am so sorry” I tell Robyn knowing how scary a panic attack can look for others. 

“Don’t apologise, are you okay?” she asks placing her hand on mine. Looking down on this intimate and caring gesture I feel cared for by her and I think I needed this. I’ve been so consumed with trying to be perfect for Eric so he doesn’t get spooked or whatever that I’ve forgotten about selfcare all together. This weight on my shoulders is killing me, every move I feel like I need Eric to be happy so he doesn’t go through with what will start the revolution they talked about. Looking at Robyn it really calms me down.

“I am now. Thank you” I say squeezing her hand.

“You’re welcome that’s what friends are for” and she smiles. “The girl from the hairdresser, she was so kind” 

“She really was” I say to her. “Oh my god the last panic attack I had was almost a year ago.” I admit to Robyn. “I forgot how awful it feels.” 

“Did you have them a lot?” she asks.

“From the age 11 until I was 19 yes. The past year has been better. Although I should have known I’d have one here” I say with a nervous laugh. I look at Robyn who looks back. “I’m just glad I wasn’t alone you know” 

“Yeah me too.” she says looking out in front of her. “Dylan doesn’t like me the way I like him.” she just throws out there following the confession flow we got into just now. I look at her with a sad look, I fear she may be right. “I know that. Just, him going to prom with me.” she sighs “kinda gave me a little hope, you know, but then after the party in the car. When I told him I might not make it Saturday he was so cold about it. Like he shrugged it off. He said if I was on time we’d go if not that would be fine for him as well, that it doesn’t matter either way.” and she looks at me with a little defeat on her face. 

“I’m so sorry that’s awful. He shouldn’t have said it like that.” I tell her rubbing her back. “I know how hard it can be to want someone you can’t have” I say thinking about all the tears I’ve shed before this trip over the past years.

“Well” Robyn says in a much brighter tone “you have Eric now.” 

My gut turns and I lick my lips nodding yes while looking down “but for how long” I mumble. Unfortunately Robyn heard.

“Are you serious? He’s gonna marry you if you let him” and she chuckles. I look at her and she looks so serious it makes me laugh. 

“Oh dear.” I say in between laughter. Robyn laughs with me. 

“What he is, I swear. Look I’ve seen Eric through all his crushes, not once did he ever look at a girl the way he looks at you. Girl you two are like soulmates. Created by the universe or whatever to fit perfectly” 

This poor girl has no idea. 

“Well tell Eric that because he doesn’t even believe in soulmates” I say feeling a little self pity right now. 

“I’m gonna” she says confident. 

“Good Luck” I wish her. “Okay I’m good again. Could you do me a favor?” I ask her.

“No I can’t waste Mike. Sorry.” she says making us both laugh.

“Damn how did you know? No I was wondering if you could bring back this mug? The salon triggered something in me I think” I know for sure but that I can’t tell her.

“Of course, give me that” she says taking the mug from my hand “after I do that, we’re going to see if we can perhaps find you a last minute prom dress” she says light-hearted. 

“A prom dress?” I ask her skeptical as we walk back in again. 

“Yes, you’re gonna go with him, I know you will.” and she takes a turn to go bring the mug back. I stand there shaking my head no as she walks on. It doesn’t take her long to come back. “Come on I know a few places, lucky you’re slender otherwise you would have been fucked” she says and I’m a little surprised at how blunt she is. Going into the first store I’m hit by glossy colored dressed.

“Hell no” I say to Robyn looking at this mess of colors. 

“Oh yeah you really are Eric’s soulmate. Come on I bet there’s something in here for you. We just have to search a little” and she pulls me in by my arm. We start to check off colors I’m definitely never gonna be seen in like, light blue, pink, heavy purples and bright red. Several times I need to really take a deep breath when I see some of these atrocious looking dresses. We go over the deeper red colors. Robyn is saying something but I can’t hear her. With a big smile on my face I look at a burgundy floor length dress, it’s simple but all the detail is in the floral halter straps that comes from under the bust and in one movement go over the neck. Basically a strapless dress with a floral oval strap that starts under the bust and goes up in the neck and finishes the top of the dress on the back. I love it. It’s gorgeous. 

“So I’m guessing that’s the one.” Robyn says with a huge smile on her face.

“If it’s my size I’m getting it.” I say surprising her and me. Robyn walks up to take the card that’s wrapped around the strap in her hand and looks at it. 

“It’s a medium size” she tells me.

“Good, I can make that work.” I say happily “do I want to know the price?” 

“That depends” 

“On what?” I ask her hesitantly.

“On whether your wallet is full or empty.” she says with a sympathetic grin. I walk over there and look at the price. 

“Holy fuck” I blurt out, turning the head of one of the ladies that works there. “Well excuse me but what 17 year old can afford this?” I ask the lady that looks at me like I’m trash. Then I turn to Robyn “luckily I’m not 17 anymore.” and I take the hanger of the rack and walk past the sales lady and to the register. She follows me to the register and says.

“Such a foul mouth while you can afford it.” she lectures me.

“I can afford it but do I look like queen Elizabeth to you?” I ask defiant, I am not in the mood to be belittled and treated shitty. Robyn beside me sucked in her lips marvelling over my heated posture. I need a coffee and to chill. It seems that today all my pent up frustration and other build up feelings are coming out. After I’ve paid her I wish the lady a good day and once we’re outside of the shop Robyn loses it. I explain how I’m not so happy with my outburst but she can’t help but laugh. 

“Stop please” I ask her when we walk into a place to grab something to eat. Munching on our sandwiches we walk past some stores and end up buying some hair products for me too. 

“Okay shoes to match the dress right?” Robyn asks throwing her wrappers in the bin. 

“It’s floor length” I say looking down on my all stars.

“You’re kidding right?” Robyn asks amused.

“Nope, never been able to wear heels ever.” I look at her smiling. 

“Well it doesn’t really matter, you wear that dress Eric’s not gonna look at your feet” she says smugly. I feel that familiar gut turning nausea wash over me. All I can think about is this last week. I remember the transcripts and dates of recording, Eric and Dylan’s last diary entrances.. The breakfast run video recorded right after Dylan’s final entry. “Hey are you okay?” Robyn asks worriedly.

“Yeah I’m sorry, I just got lost in my own thoughts.” and I pull a painful face. “I’m not even sure I’m going to prom with Eric.” I tell her with a pout.

“The fact that you found a dress you love in your size means you’re going” she says sure of herself. 

“God I hope you’re right. I’ve never been this anxious over a party before in my life.” I say with a nervous chuckle. She has no idea how much I hope she’s right. We talk for a little before we say our goodbyes. Again we look at each other while we drive out of the parking spaces. Driving back to my room I do not feel like it’s a safe place, not today. I feel very cornered and I’m not feeling like myself at all today. Opening my room door everything feels awful. I look at the bag with the dress in it and I hope Robyn is right but on the other hand I’m dead afraid I’m gonna want to burn this dress next Tuesday. For now I hang the dress in the shower behind the curtain. I feel absolutely gloomy as I sit down on my bed and stare out in front of me. Remembering the past days. Watching the tape for the first and second time. Eric’s reaction.  _ As soon as I know what I think about it I’ll let you know, I promise.  _ “You do that Eric” I say bleakly to no other ears then my own. A quick rinse under the shower is my last resort to pick up my mood before Eric gets here. Dressed in my washed out jeans and a blue sweater I wait for Eric to arrive while I blowdry my hair to put it up in a ponytail. Just when I put down the blow dryer there are three knocks on the door. For the first time I do not feel all excited but I put on a smile because I don’t want to ruin my whole day. Walking over to the door I take a deep breath “Morty is that you?” I ask and I hear Eric chuckle behind the door.

“Yes it’s me, Morty” he says enthusiastic. I open the door and there he stands, big smirk on his face. “It’s my birthday again today” he says joking.

“Still a grapjas I see” I say with a flat voice. 

“Yes still a grepjose” Eric says cutely earning a smile from me. “Did I say that right?” he asks hopeful.

“Absolutely not” I tell him. 

“Off to a great start with my Dutch.” he says smiling while he walks in.

“Yeah not so much” I say a little too harsh. Eric turns his head and looks a little surprised at my reaction. “I’m sorry” I say shaking my head “it’s been a day” 

“What happened?” he asks instantly on guard. 

“It’s nothing, forget about it” I say rubbing my arm. Eric takes a few steps closer to me and places his arms around me locking my arms in. He tilts his head.

“No come on talk to me.” Eric says sweetly. I close my eyes and shake my head no. “Please I don’t like it when you’re upset.” 

“I just, I got confronted with some things today Eric. So I’m very out of my comfort zone” I end up saying so hopefully he’ll drop it. Eric looks at me his eyes light up a bit. 

“I’m sorry about that but hopefully this can cheer you up.” and he takes something not too big out of his black bdu pants pocket. It’s wrapped in pretty paper as well. 

“What’s this?” I ask Eric with a small smile while he hands me the gift.

“Well it may be a bit weird to give but it’s an early birthday present.” Eric says smiling. The smile falls of my face and I immediately stop unpacking the present and I look at Eric with a ticked off face. His expression turns blank. 

“Really Eric?” I ask annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” he asks clueless.

“Are you serious right now?” I ask him taking a step back feeling very offensive. “A birthday present?” 

He looks so lost “I don’t get it” he tells me honestly. I feel my anger coming up to the service.

“When is my birthday? Does that ring a bell?” and right after I said that Eric’s eyes close.

He mutters “fuck”

“Yes Eric. Fuck. Do you think I’ve been celebrating my birthday the past 3 years?” I ask placing the gift on the bed. 

“I’m sorry I didn't think” He says but I interrupt him. 

“No you didn't think. Everything is so uncertain right now. What will you do? I don’t know.” and I start to rattle “do you really think this will make today better? Because now it only feels worse. I wanted to get a haircut and I got a whole panic attack, if Robyn wasn’t there I don’t know what I would have done. And then the stupid” but I don’t tell him about the dress. Eric is standing there looking really down-hearted. He has his hands in his pockets and he looks so small all of a sudden. I lick my lips and try to regain my calm again but it proves difficult. “Fuck” I say loud. Eric looks extremely discouraged and I immediately feel guilty. “Apparently I’m only human with fucked up feelings as well” I say raising my shoulders while I look at Eric. Then I feel my blood pressure lower and that familiar I fucked up feeling everyone knows. “Eric I’m sorry.” I say looking down. “I shouldn’t have gone off like that. It just really hit me in the gut you know. This whole situation we’re in. I just want it to be over. I want it to be June.” and I feel tears forming in my eyes. “With you here with me” I finish my rant crossing my arms. Eric looks dazed. We stand there looking at each other and neither of us knows how to respond. After what feels like an eternity it’s Eric who makes the first move. He walks up to me and stops right in front of me. I look up to meet his eyes and I see they actually sparkle a little. Confused I frown at him then he says.

“I can’t believe this” 

“What?” I ask him utterly confused by his happy eyes.

“You really aren’t perfect.” I let out a single chuckle and look at him with a brow raised. “I’m sorry that’s a lie. You are so close to perfection I promise you that. Come here” and he takes me into his arms and I can’t really do anything else but give in. Placing my head on his shoulder with my ponytail in his face he starts to brush the hair out of his face. “I’m so sorry I’ve caused you so much pain and that I still do. I’m still processing things you know. You’ve been so patient with me.” and he places a kiss in my hair. 

“It’s all a little too much today.” I admit to him. 

“Has been for several days. Weeks actually.” he says holding me even tighter. “Forgive me for who I’ve been, for why you’re here” he says very serious into my hair. Another kiss follows. 

Really appreciating his words I tell him “thank you for this, I needed this.” Eric squeezes me tight and then creates some distance between us so he can look at me.

“Come here, let me dry these” and he places his hands on my cheeks and with his thumbs he lovingly wipes all the tears from my face. “Do you want to go visit that horrible lady in the diner, she always makes you smile” he says smiling. I smile at him and shake no.

“Can we just chill. Flip some channels, cuddle up” I ask him feeling so tired from everything. 

“Of course” and he lets go of me to take off his boots and black jacket which I think is the one he wore in Hitmen for Hire when he yells at the camera. I push that video out of my mind and focus on here and now. I press the tv on and take the remote before I get all comfy against the headboard off the bed, pressing the pillows up nice and fluffy. Eric comes to join me with a sweet smile on his face. When he’s settled I place myself with my back against his chest, his arm over my shoulder. Pulling my legs in I feel comfortable for the first time that day. I give Eric the remote and let him flip through the channels since I don’t really care what we watch. He stops at a science program. 

“Can you tell me more about what this whole soulmate thing means?” he asks out of the blue. I turn to look at him and see he’s very serious and even looks quite innocent. 

“I’m a little at a loss here, ask me what it is you want to know specifically” I ask him.

“I guess I just don’t understand what the difference is between being with someone who is or isn’t your soulmate. Is there a significant difference even?” Eric asks eager to find out more.

“There is a huge difference.” I tell him and I’m not sure where to begin. “It’s a little complicated.” I lean back against his chest and Eric takes a hold of my hand with his other hand. 

“Just try to explain, please” he asks me. I know what to say I’m just so scared to freak him out but he wants to know and I see no other option then to tell him what I know.

“Soulmates when they are together they are basically as one. When a couple finds their way with each other and set their minds to it that’s it. It’s them together always.” I pause while I feel Eric’s chest go up and down slowly but his heart is racing. “Some couples even reported they get the same connection as twins, one breaks their leg and the other has a painful leg, things like that.” I don’t want to tell him everything. Not the painful part. 

“Are you serious?” he asks me. 

“I promise, I’m telling you what I was told.” I say hesitantly.

“Are you sure? Please don’t hold anything back.” he says probably sensing I am. 

“There is one thing” and I turn around to face him. “But it’s not confirmed and they are still looking into this.”

“Just tell me” Eric says looking at his hands. 

“When soulmates get together and one rejects the other it has happened that the one that gets rejected dies. What also has been seen is that if they are together and one dies the other one follows not long after.” I tell him thinking about my mom, who got rejected and didn't make it. I feel Eric’s eyes on me.

“Shit, is that what happened to your mom?” and I look up at his words. Too heavy to answer I nod my head yes. Eric tilt his head “oh my god” he says saddened. 

“At least I think so” I say after a short silence “it’s not facts and it’s not clear what happens to those people” and my mind wanders off to next Tuesday, wondering if this is my future as well. 

“Wait Jack must have known about this” Eric states. 

“Yes he did.” Eric gets up from the bed.

“And he still let you go?” he asks angry. I’m perplexed and get up on my knees on the bed. 

“Eric I told you Jack is business first but he had so much faith in me, and therefore in you as well that this would change what happened 20 years ago.” I can’t help but feel this is a very positive thing, here he is angry at my uncle for letting me go back if it might be the end of me. Maybe who knows this is another push towards a better outcome. 

“No I can’t believe this. He’d just let you go if there was a chance you didn't come back?” Eric says ironically. 

“Eric it wouldn’t have mattered, I would have come anyway. There was no force able to stop me from coming back for you.” I state matter of factly. He takes a step back and places his hand over his heart, like he did when telling me about the feeling he felt near me. His eyes close and he sits down with his back turned to me, face in his hands. I get behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, placing my face in his neck. He places his hands over my arms and lets his head fall back. “Nobody could have stopped me.” I whisper and I feel his breathing getting heavier. 

“I didn't expect all this with our connection” Eric says a little dazed. 

“I know” I tell him as I leave a trail of flutter kisses in his neck before I let go and sit down next to him. “It’s a lot to digest” Eric nods beside me. 

“Would you mind if I leave to go home?” Eric asks with guilt in his eyes. “I think I need to uhm process a little by myself.” he says honestly. I look at Eric and give him a kiss on his cheek. 

“Of course I don’t mind liefje” I say. When he’s done putting his boots on I hand him his jacket. “Here you go” I smile at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow after school immediately” he says while he leans in to give me a kiss on my cheek leaving behind the warm memory of his lips. 

“Sounds like a plan” I tell him and he smiles while we walk to the door. I wave him bye as he closes the door behind him. Taking a few deep breaths I decide that I’ve earned a nap. Just as I want to take my clothes off there’s a knock on the door. When I open it in it stands Eric and without hesitation he comes back in and places his hands on my cheeks and says “one more” before giving me a deep and longing kiss. Lingering with his lips on mine before he lets me go. Eric looks at me and when he turns around he says “I can’t believe I already miss you” and I smile while biting my bottom lip as I watch him get in his car while he sighs over his own frankness. When I close the door I can’t help but think that maybe I might actually be going to prom…

_ Eric’s POV. First person. _

_ “It’s green just move already” I sneer at the idiot drivers in front of me. My patience is at an all time low. This is all getting way too much for me. Almost home. Pulling up I get out of my car and into the house as quick as I can. Opening the door I want to go straight to my room. Taking off my shoes and jacket I walk towards the stairs down into the basement.  _

_ “Hey honey” my mom says standing in the kitchn. _

_ “Hey mom, I’m going downstairs” I tell her before placing a hand on the brown wooden banister.  _

_ “Wait I thought you were going to see y/n?” she asks. Can we not do this right now. _

_ “Yeah I was but she had stuff to do so” I lie to her.  _

_ “Oh, is everything okay?” mom asks caring. _

_ “Fine mom, I just need to do homework as well.” another lie. Letting my hand slide on the banister I go down and into my room. Closing the door behind me I walk over to my desk and take a seat behind it. I take out my journal out of a drawer. I open it to the last pages on which I’ve written about her. I need to put my thoughts on paper, get a little grip. Reading the last entry I feel all hot inside again. Fuck I can’t believe we got so close to having sex. I wanted her so goddamn much, she has no idea. I can’t sleep, eat or do anything. I just want to be with her, around her. Touch her, feel her. Hold her and devour her. She loves me and I love her. And that shit about soulmates she told me. That they practically become one and feel when the other is in pain. I wanna say it’s all bullshit but then I close the door behind me just now and I seriously lose my mind missing her. What the fuck is that all about. From so very fucking early on I felt so attached and close to her is it really bullshit? Life is no fairytale so this just feels impossible. Then I kiss her and I feel so goddamn happy.  _

_ I drop the pen and sit back in the chair. Looking at what I’ve written I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I knew my believes had changed somewhat over the past months but this, it’s terrifying. I don’t even dare to put my thoughts about NBK down. I let my hands run through my hair and imagine her arms around my shoulder again. God that felt so good. I never wanted her to let me go again. There’s a knock on my door, it’s mom. _

_ “Come in” I tell her. She walks in with Slim Jims and a drink. _

_ “Got you something” she says placing them on my desk. _

_ “Gee thanks mom.”  _

_ “You’re welcome.” and she turns away.  _

_ “Mom” I call out and she turns around. I’m not even sure what to say, I just know I don’t want her to leave.  _

_ “Yes?” she asks with a sweet smile. _

_ “Can we talk for a moment?” I ask her and walk over to my bed. She comes to sit down next to me.  _

_ “Of course, what’s on your mind honey?” she asks me. I sigh deeply and lick my lips. _

_ “It’s y/n.” I say and I continue “don’t laugh at me when I say this”  _

_ “You know I wouldn’t, you can tell me” mom says so nicely. _

_ “I really think I love her but is that even possible. I mean we barely know each other.” I admit to my mom. _

_ “Honey, I’ve seen you two together and you spend almost every waking moment with her when you don’t have to go to school or work. I’m thinking you probably are in love with her.” she places her small hand on mine. _

_ “Isn’t that weird or something I don’t know I just, I’m just drowning in doubt.”  _

_ “I’m thinking it’s something else then doubt. Now don’t you get angry with me, I might be wrong but here’s what I think. I think you’re afraid. Afraid to commit and lose her.” she says carefully. I feel shame towards her. _

_ “I’m thinking you’re right. What if I do lose her, I’ll mess it up like I always do with everything” I say raising my voice unwillingly while I look at my hands.  _

_ “Oh honey, you don’t always mess up. Don’t say that.” she places her arm around me. “A lot of things go perfectly well, you’ve had a rough year but you’ve been doing so well with everything. I’m proud of you really.” and she places a kiss in my hair. I cringe even though I don’t mean to. She has no idea, the plans me and Vodka made over the past months. No fucking clue. And all I can feel is shame, for the past few months especially. Now it’s even worse.  _

_ “Thanks mom” I say feeling like the worst son in the world. Why did I need to have y/n to see how fucked up I was. To everyone. I’m so fucking embarrassed right now.  _

_ “And just so you know, I was in love with your father the second I met him.” I look at her in surprise “really, it was love at first sight for me. I truly believe he is my one and only love.” she says smiling to me.  _

_ “You mean like as a soulmate?” I ask apprehensively.  _

_ “Exactly like that. You’re never going to believe me I’m sure but remember when your father had that horrible back pain a few years ago. Before he came home from work my back hurt so much and when he was home and told me about his pain mine disappeared.” and she chuckles softly  _

_ I jump up from the bed “are you fucking kidding me?” I ask her. She stands up as well. _

_ “Mind your language Eric. Shame on you.” she says with a concerned look. _

_ “No I’m sorry, sorry. I just, what you said, are you serious?” I ask her frantically. _

_ “I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” she says with a small smile “but it’s true.”  _

_ “You know maybe I do believe you mom.” I tell her while y/n consumes my mind.  _

_ “So first you apologise immediately and then you believe me.” she raises her eyebrows “this girl, I like her influence on you” and with that said she leaves me with my thought. All of them racing through my mind, her words mixed with them as well.  _ _ I’ll go to prom with you, if NBK is cancelled.  _

The day had me tired so much that I slept really well. I had my dinner early and went to bed straight after. The last time I looked at the clock was just before 8. A full night sleep, looking at the clock now it’s 8 sharp. It’s Wednesday the 14th of April, only 6 days left of uncertainty. I get up and start to organize my things, get my laundry together to go get that done before Eric’s here. Roaming around in my room I get startled by the knock on my door. I put on a sweater over my pajamas and go to open the door. A stern faced male stand tall before me, I don’t have to see the oval to know he’s from the agency. 

“Y/n Hunter?” he asks shortly.

“Yes sir, I’m her.” I say opening my door for him to come in. He steps in and starts off by telling me he has two messages. Opening his briefcase he looks so focussed on the task. 

“I will now read you a formal message from Jack Le Temps” he says scraping his throat.

“Y/n the last 5 full days. Make them count. You’ve exceeded almost all our expectations here in the headquarters. We believe that if you continue on the road you’re on that you will be able to help stop it.” the man looks at me and back to his paper. “Is this message clear to you?” he asks.

“Yes sir” I say trying to hide my happiness. 

“Good, onto the second message. Which reads as following.” he says calmly.

“Y/n, not all expectations because I’ve always known you could move mountains. I want you to know I’ve spoken to your father” and at those words I speak out.

“My father” and I walk back to sit on my bed, goosebumps taking over my body.

“Yes Miss Hunter, that’s what the message says, I will continue now” and he looks at me for consent, I nod yes.

“He came to see me when he knew it was only a week left before the 20th. Y/n your father wanted to know what the prognosis of your mission was, since I am not at liberty to tell people who do not work for the agency, your father decided to take up his previous position in the company.” 

“What?” I yell out. The man looks at me with a brow raised but continues the message.

“Your father is now fully informed and wants me to tell you that if the mission is a success he will contact you” the man stops talking and looks at me. “Is that message all clear?” but a smile forms on his lips.

“Crystal” I say with a heart twelve sizes bigger. I’m in utter shock, I cannot believe what I’ve just heard.

“Sign here and here please” he asks handing me the papers to sign. I do so automatically without noticing what I’m doing and when he gives me my papers I’m kicked back into the here and now when there’s a knock on my door. We both look at the door. 

“I know who that is, you can’t see him.” I tell the man. I’m scared shitless because this man may well have been sent here from some future year and recognise Eric.

“Well I will have to leave so you will have to open the door.” he says with a firm voice. Walking over to the door I open it with my heart in my throat. As I expected it’s Eric who smiles at me with coffee in his hand. As soon as he sees the man the smile falls off his face. Then behind me I hear a loud gasp before the man says “Eric Harris” on a hushed tone. 

“Do I know you?” Eric asks in a chilling tone. Giving me the feeling he’s completely misinterpreting this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to see the prom dress I have in mind here is the link, but by all means be free to imagine what it looks like for yourself if you want :)
> 
> https://www.etsy.com/dk-en/listing/591991762/90s-prom-dress-vintage-1990s-dress


	21. Loneliness hurts the soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone I am so sorry for the long wait. I'm already brewing up the next chapter so hopefully this won't last too long.   
> It's the 9th of April in our time and in the story it's Wednesday the 12th. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think as always :)

“I have to leave right now.” the man says looking at me and then at Eric before he walks straight past Eric. I walk up to Eric and see the man looking at Eric and then at me, he must be connecting the dots why I’m here. 

“Who is that?” Eric asks in that same horrifying tone. I look at him and don’t understand where that’s coming from. 

“He was from the agency, Eric. He brought me two messages” I tell him.

“Ooooh” he says in a semi embarrassed tone. “Wait how did he know my name?” Eric asks confused.

“My best guess is that he’s assigned to work here but comes from somewhere in the future. So he’d know you, Eric.” I say while I pull him in the room by his arm. “But please tell me what was that tone of yours all about?” I ask knowing exactly what that was. 

Eric rubs the back of his neck “well uhm, I guess I made some shitty conclusions as to what he was doing here. It’s confirmed I’m an idiot” he says thoroughly embarrassed by his own hand. I look at him and I shake my head.

“Harris what is wrong with you?” I ask with my head tilted.

“Yeah let’s not go there” he says with a short chuckle. I laugh before I take the coffee from his hand.

“Mine I guess?” I say before I take a sip.

“Of course, listen I’m sorry as usual.” and he sucks in his lips.

“It’s okay we all get like that sometimes.” I tell him while I enjoy the coffee. Eric looks a little consumed by his own mind when he asks. 

“Did you see the look on that guys face when he saw me?” and I feel a little heavier than before. 

“Yes I did.” I tell Eric. Who doesn’t respond to me but instead comes to hug me. 

“I have to go. Tell me about the messages later?” he asks before walking to the door. 

“I will. See you later Harris” he turns around and smirks before closing the door behind him. I immediately go to lay down on my bed. It takes me a full hour of processing the messages myself. My father is back in the family business to get updates. That’s all I can think about. Exceeding expectations are great but my mind is focused solely on my dad. After I’ve gone over everything in the messages I finally get up and go start my day with a shower and clean clothes. I make a signature braid and when I get out of the room it’s already 12:30. A single sharp knock on the door has me wondering if Eric skipped the rest of the day. “Who is it?” I ask putting the papers away.

“It’s Dylan” and I jerk up straight. “Dylan” I whisper to myself before walking to the door. I open it with surprise written all over my face. 

“Hey” Dylan says as he looks at me.

“Hey” I say still very apprehensive. 

“Look uhm can I come in?” he asks me.

“Sure” I say fully opening the door so he can enter. Dylan walks to the chair and takes place there. I sit across from him on the bed. “Would you like some water?” I ask him pointing at my mini fridge.

“No thanks” he smiles. He sits up straight and lets his arms rest on his legs. “I’m here to take you up on your offer to talk” he says looking down on his hands, fidgeting with his ring. 

“I can’t say I expected it but you’re definitely welcome to do so” I say trying not to sound like I’m afraid of how this is going to go. 

“Thing is I’m not good at this.” he pauses “the whole talking thing, I dislike it.” he says looking up for a second. “Makes me feel weak like I can’t handle my own shit.” 

I decide to let him talk instead of saying something encouraging.

“But you were right, I’m all alone in dealing with these” and he looks for a fitting way to describe it all “changes and I can’t seem to get perspective on my own.” his eyes shoot up at me again. “I can’t talk with Eric” he says firm. 

“Bounce your thoughts off of me then” I say with a timid smile.

“You wanna know what my problem is with that. You’re not neutral.” I see his jaw muscles tighten up as he says this. 

“I see your point.” I say determined to keep him talking.

“So here I am. All weak and shit” and just as I want to tell him he’s not weak he continues “why can’t I have what you and Eric have? Why is no one here for me?” he says with a face made of steel but a posture that screams sadness. 

“I’ve been told that college is where you’ll first find love.” I say in a no nonsense fashioned way. “That’s why she’s not here, you can discover her for yourself.” He now makes eye contact and doesn’t break it off. “I don’t think it matters to you but for the record, I don’t think you’re weak, Dylan.” I add hoping he’ll take it to heart. 

“College?” is all he asks.

“College” I say with a soft small smile. 

“So that’s it. All our plans from the past 8 of maybe even 10 months all down the drain so Eric can be with you and play house and so I can maybe find someone in college. I don’t get it. Nothing’s changed really. The school is still invested with rats who need to be exterminated. I don’t understand Eric” Dylan says maintaining eye contact. 

“I can’t speak for Eric because I don’t know where he stands.” Dylan scoffs “no really I don’t. Eric hasn’t said anything regarding NBK and if it’s still happening or not.” I can see he didn't expect this. “Try to put yourself in his shoes is all I can say. Wouldn’t a genuine love change anything for you?” I ask uncertain.

He shakes his head “I don’t know. All I know is that I want NBK to happen.” he says in all honesty, scaring the life out of me. “People lie y/n to get their way, I should know. And frankly I don’t trust you.” he says looking straight into my eyes, I read no lies in his.

“There must be some part of you that believes you can get something out of this conversation?” I say at a complete loss where to go from here. “I can’t make you trust or believe me. Only you can do that.” He’s so closed off. He keeps looking down and then gets up.

“You’re right” and he wants to walk towards the door.

“No stop, please stay” I say grabbing his arm. He looks at my hand and my heart is running so fast I feel like it’s going to abandon my body. Without giving it a second thought I hug Dylan. I can’t see his face but I feel his arms raise a little as I cling to his chest, letting my ear hear his heart beat rise to dangerously high levels, just like mine. I keep holding him and I feel his arms lower a bit. “You need to want to live for Dylan, for you. Who you are and who you will be. Please Dylan. Try to hold on” I say as I raise my head to look at him, he looks down in shock. I keep looking at him until he lets his head fall down, then I turn away. I take his arm and place it around my shoulders. He doesn’t move it. 

“What if I can’t anymore” he asks with a wavering voice breaking my heart. 

“You should accept help, find someone who can give you perspective on why you’re hurting so much. You’re not supposed to hurt this much.” I let my hands rest on his shoulder blades. Dylan’s hands not touching me at all, his arms around me with great caution not to connect to much either. We stand there until I start to feel awkward as well but then Dylan says “thank you” and just like that he carefully exits the embrace and he walks straight out of the door.

“Dylan” I say with my eyes fixed on the open door. Not long after I see Dylan’s car flash by through the opening and involuntarily I take a step back. After I had a glass of water I go to close the door but then I see a familiar grey honda coming my way. Eric has a wide smile on his face as he sees me. “What a fucking day and it’s not even dinner time yet” I say as I watch Eric park the car. As he walks towards me I go up to him and walk straight into him, locking my arms tightly around his neck. I sigh loudly followed by a string of whining noises. “Eric” I say whining “I’m so ready to go somewhere where no one knows me” I say feeling extremely sorry for myself. 

“What happened, I leave you alone for three minutes and you fall apart” he chuckles. I step back and regain my posture. 

“No the messages hit me pretty hard and then I got a visit from Dylan just now” I say with a brow raised. 

“Dylan was here?” Eric asks a little on guard. 

“Yes for like 3 minutes. He said he came to talk, told me some things and well then I uhm” and I feel like this might not fly well with Eric “then I hugged him before he bolted out of here” I say walking back into my room. Eric stops in the doorway.

“What why?” he asks unhappy.

“Because, Eric. I feel so sad for Dylan, he feels so alone in this and I should even have said that” I throw myself, quite literally on the bed. 

“Why did he come?” Eric asks while he takes off his Colorado buffalo starter jacket and throws it on the chair Dylan was just in. 

“He said he wanted to talk” I say looking at the ceiling.

“Did he talk? About what?” Eric asks nervous. I sit up and look at him. 

“I’m not sure because we didn't do much talking” before I can continue Eric interrupts me.

“No you were too busy holding him” he says bitter.

“Yes I hugged him Eric, get over it. I feel horrible for Dylan.” and then I look at Eric and say to him “he’s dead set on NBK still happening” 

Eric looks at me and I see he’s surprised at my blunt statement. “I’m aware of that” Eric says distant.

“Do you feel the same?” I ask him while I chew on my bottom lip. He places his hand in his sides.

“Not anymore I think but I don’t know what to tell you y/n.” he says throwing his hands up. 

“There’s hardly any time left for us Eric.” I say assuming the worst. With that said Eric comes to sit next to me.

“Don’t say that” he asks me.

“Why it’s true.” and I place my head on his shoulder taking in his scent. Trying to fight the urge to bawl my eyes out. There is no assurance for me to hold onto when Eric stays silent. 

“What do you want to do?” he asks after a heavy and painful silence.

“Not sure but let's start with cappuccino” I say smiling at him trying to change the mood we’re in. I can’t dwell on this, it’ll break me. He smiles back and we go make ourselves ready to leave. Halfway over the pedestrian crossing Eric takes my hand in his, his palms are a little sweaty. I hadn’t felt that from him before. Walking through the door I feel his hand go up to my back as he guides me in. A familiar wide smile greets us.

“Hello lovey and dovey” she says cheerful as ever.

“Hi” Eric says enthusiastic with a smile and I look at him, he looks back and sees my face and says “what?” I shake my head and look at the lady. 

“A cappuccino for the lady and a hot chocolate again for dovey?” she asks Eric with a wink. Eric tilts his head then looks at me and back at her.

“Why can’t I be lovey?” he asks actually going along with her. Making me look at him in wonder. 

“Pardon me dear sir. A hot chocolate for lovey?” she asks. Eric smiles at me.

“Just when I was getting used to dovey.” and he shakes his head “I’ll have an orange juice this time.” 

“He’s getting cocky” she says looking at me “Cappuccino and orange juice coming up” 

“Thank you” I say to her so does Eric before we walk to a place to sit.

“You seem to be adjusting to her very well.” I say smiling.

“Not really but you like her so much so I have to put in an effort right?” he says with a sweet smile. I’d almost forget that dreadful moment we just had when he looks at me like that. 

I pretend to have a heart attack “who are you and what have you done with Eric?” I ask overdone.

“Oh please don’t start” he says but his face gives his true feelings away. before he tells me “I’m glad you look happy again” 

“Well you’re a man right so I just have to accept how it is. A professor once wrote that women will always be under men and that we should just accept it” I can see the life drain out of his face “or we should just kill ourselves and make it quick” the coffee lady comes up with our drinks. She looks at me with a brow raised and crosses her arms.

“Sounds more like an angry teenager then a professor to me” she says scoffing. I place my hand over my mouth trying not to erupt in laughter. 

“Yeah one angry son of a bitch” Eric says perky looking at her and then at me. She walks off leaving us two behind. “One who needed someone to come from the goddamn future to show him how wrong he’s been.” and just like that he gets up from his seat and reaches over the table to give me a kiss. I smile at him as he sits back down. A little shaken over how quickly he can change his mood or posture. He takes a big gulp from his drink before he says “I have this gift. One where I manage to fuck up everything I care for. With friends and all that.” he says looking at his hands. “Which makes me wonder, how much can you take before sorry isn’t gonna cut it anymore” I look at him and his fears and doubts are almost palpable. 

“You’re right. At one point sorry starts to mean less but to me sorry isn’t the only thing what I look at with people.” and I open my hands for him to take. He looks at my hands and places his hands over them within seconds. “My mom, well my dad's second wife. Always told me to look at behaviour, before, during and after the sorry. Is the apology genuine and does the person try their best to change what they apologised for, even if they fail to change the sorry will always mean something. Because they try and show effort. Is the sorry shitty and the behaviour just as it was before the apology that’s when sorry becomes as meaningful as shit.” I chuckle when I look at his expression. “So far every apology you’ve done your best and people can’t change in three seconds Eric.”

“Okay tell me this. What the hell kind of family do you have?” Eric asks completely baffled looking.

“I don’t know what you mean” I tell him.

“What I mean is that mine is conservative. My dad holds the last say. I’m the odd one out with weird taste in music and band shirts while Kevin is mr all American dream. And then there is yours. Nazi punching, accepting of mistakes and shit. I don’t get it. Feels like your family is liberating while I feel closed in, in mine.” he’s very serious about this.

“Well my dad didn't speak to me for two years so it’s not all fun and games but I think it has a lot to do with the times we life in as well. You’d be shocked to see what 2020 looks like. Even with perfect vision” I grin thinking about his epic pun that one day. “Plus I’m from Europe, it is a whole lot different from America I promise you that” 

“Maybe I should just go with you to your time” Eric says confusing me if he’s serious or not. 

“Well let's make a deal. As soon as I know NBK is cancelled for real, I’ll ask if this is an option.” I say to Eric. He stares intensely into my eyes.

“Deal” he says making my heart flutter at the mere possibility of it being over. I want the certainty. 

We sit there chatting for about 25/30 minutes and Eric even tells me he spoke to his mom about some stuff. 

“Yeah it was a good conversation. She told me she believes you’re a good influence on me” he says grinning. He looks outside and he licks his lips “I’m not sure where I stand just yet but I do know that the idea of soulmates does not feel impossible or extremely strange anymore.” he says looking at me. My heart feels like it’s expanding in my chest, pushing out all the air from my lungs making it impossible to breath.

“Really?” I manage to say while I bite my bottom lip trying not to smile too big. 

“I promise” he says looking at me before he brings my hands up and kisses both of them, soft lingering kisses. 

“My dad works for the company again” I tell Eric without warning. My hands still close to his face. His mouth opens wide.

“What? But he quit and stopped talking to Jack. Did your dad send a message?” he asks talking so fast I need a few second to process what he just said.

“Indirectly he did but I don’t think I should tell you what he said.” I say smiling.

“Can’t or should?” Eric asks.

“Should” 

“Why, please tell me” he asks looking desperate to find out more. 

“It would feel manipulative to tell you. Because it has something to do with NBK.” I admit to Eric. He’s silent and looks out the window again.

“I think I know what he said” he tells me with guilt in his voice.

“You do?” I ask him a little shy.

“He’ll talk or see you or something if NBK is off.” I take a deep breath and he states “I’m right”. I feel there is no reason to not tell him at this point.

“You are indeed” I say shortly. 

“That’s great, fantastic” Eric says sarcastically. “Another thing to worry about.” he looks more sad then angry “Shall we go?” he asks 

“Eric are you mad at me?” I ask afraid he is.

“Mad at you?” he shakes his head “far from it” he says as he gets up. I do the same and this time I walk up to the register and pay for our drinks. Eric sighs loudly making the lady behind the cash register laugh. 

“See you two soon” she says and I wave at her before walking to the door.“Lovey and the professor” she ads.

Making my eyes go big and Eric turns around with red cheeks as he looks at her. “Don’t worry most men start out that way. Then they find a woman who loves them and they begin to understand we can do more than have babies.” she says and my eyes fall closed as I walk outside. I’m never getting Eric in there again. I feel Eric following me outside and all of a sudden I feel his arm around me. 

“You and your mouth” he says in my ear making me really wanna laugh.

“I wanna say I’m sorry but that was kind of hilarious” I say before bursting out laughing. Eric starts to uppen his pace making me do the same automatically and before I know it he’s chasing me to my room door. Fumbling to get the keys in they fall on the floor. Eric catches up and pushes me with my back against the door. I’m still laughing and his face only makes it worse.

“Hilarious huh?” he asks pinning me to the door, his face so close I can feel his breath tickle my lips. 

“Eric we’re out on the street” I say as I feel his hand creep up to the back of my shirt.

“That’s because lovey dropped the keys.” he says grinning while he lets his hand rest on the small of my back underneath my clothes.

“Lovey did” I say smiling.

“She sure did.” he says smiling while he looks at my face sighing loudly before he says “you’re so beautiful” and he starts to chuckle “it’s unbelievable” 

“Oh stop” I say pushing him back a little to get the keys off the floor. As I open the door I ask Eric “can we go eat somewhere I’m starving?” 

“Sounds like a plan, gorgeous.” he says making me blush. I get my stuff and close the door behind me. Eric is already on his way to his car where he opens the door for me. Before I get in I lean over the door and kiss Eric. He smiles so bright it lights up my whole inner being. I open his door for him and he gets in.

“Buckle up captain” I say as he starts to drive off without his seatbelt on. 

“Why?” he asks taunting me.

“Because it’ll shatter my heart if something happens to you, that’s why” I say before thinking about it. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry” I say turning to Eric. His eyes unreadable. “I swear I didn't mean anything by it, this time I was the one not thinking” 

“Don’t worry about it” he tells me.

“Really because that was a stupid thing to say.” I say to him.

“What was? Showing me you care about me? That you don’t want me hurt? Yeah you’re horrible, the absolute worst” and without making eye contact he takes my hand in his, kisses it and doesn’t let go. His eyes still out on the road ahead. I feel a little insecure, was he sarcastic or for real. His next words take all my insecurity away. “I care about you too you know”

I look at him and smile when I see that lopsided smile on his face even though he’s not looking at me. He stops for a red light and I pull my seatbelt forward and lean over to Eric, blocking his whole view and kiss him. Pressing my lips against his with my hand at the back of his head under the cap of his nike hat. Car horns start to make a song around us. The light must be green. I flip them all off and give Eric one more kiss. I plunge back into my seat and lick my lips, soaking up every little fiber of that kiss. Eric looks extremely smug and self assured as he drives us to the mall to go get some food. When we get out of the car we instantly lock hands together. Finally feeling free enough to do so.

“Do you want to go into Hot topic, even though it’s a trendy little place” I ask Eric.

“Sure I kinda like that store myself even though it’s exactly what you just said it is.” the reference to his own words completely flying over his head. Making me smile like an idiot. We get in but immediately turn around when we see a herd of school girls making both our skins crawl. “God I love hating on people with you” he says as I mimic what the girls said to each other.

“A healthy amount never harms anyone” I say smiling at Eric’s ‘here we go’ face.

“Okay mom” he says making me cringe.

“Ew I’m not into that kink sorry” I say and he squints his eyes at me.

“Did you just? Mom kink? As in kinky?” he asks appalled. 

“Oh yes one off a million kinks but let's not go there right now” I say as we walk towards the place I was with Mike. “Hey let’s go here, if you’re on a date you get a discount” I mock myself. Making Eric laugh.

“Yeah 15% I hear and the phone number of an asshole” he jokes but walks towards the door. We get a table for two next to the window and we open the menus I forgot it wasn’t that great. I see Eric pull a face as well. 

“You wanna go somewhere else?” I ask him wrinkling my nose.

“Yeah let’s do that” and we both get up and walk out that place again. We walk around for a little bit and then from a small distance I spot Robyn and Mike. I tap Eric’s shoulder and point towards their direction. Eric gets a smile on his face and holds my hand even tighter before we make our way over there. It’s not long before Robyn spots us. When she looks at our hands she gets a big smile on her face and she hits Mike on the chest. He looks at us and sighs loudly. When we get close enough Mike opens with.

“Well fuck me, the gates of hell really have opened” making us all laugh, even Eric. 

“I like it” Robyn says enthusiastic and when she hugs me she whispers “has he asked you to prom yet?” 

I whisper back “no but please be subtle about it, he can’t know I have a dress or even that we talked about it” she winks at me when we let go. I walk up to Mike and open my arms. He looks confused. 

“Eric” he says and points at my open arms.

“Are you asking him if I’m allowed to hug you?” I ask with wide, insulted eyes.

“No, I’m asking Eric if he’s gonna kill me if I do” he says making Robyn laugh but me and Eric sport just a small smile. 

“Dude what is wrong with you?” Eric asks offended “have you met her? She’s not the type to let me decide who she’s hugging” he says smiling and semi joking he ads “I wish”. 

“Exactly” I say to Mike while I roll my eyes at Eric “so when I open my arms that means we’re hugging, whether you want it or not” I say messing with him.

“How come that works for women and not us?” Mike asks, he looks at Eric “Imagine it being me joking like that, I’d get a lecture from her, Robyn, my mom, my grandmother, deceased great grandmother and her best friend” 

“Yeah why is that?” Eric asks again sounding offended. 

“Because guys suck” Robyn says plainly.

“Pretty much” I say nodding. Mike looks at me and playfully slaps my hands away.

“Don’t touch me, I’m an independent woman” making us again all laugh. 

“We’re starving” I tell them.

“Good because so are we” Mike says and so we all join together in our venture for food. It takes the three of them to get to an agreement but we end up going to this little place that has all sorts of dishes. Eric and I keep walking hand in hand and everyone is in a good mood as we take a seat at a table for four. Fast enough our food arrives and we all start munching on our food, we were all very hungry.

“So when did that happen?” Robyn asks at one point looking at the two of us. I look at Eric with a face that says go ahead tell her.

“On a beautiful day” he says cryptically. She’s not settling for that answer though.

“Yeah specifics Eric.” she says before taking another bite. Eric looks at me and his face turns really serious.

“All I can say is that I think it’s been written in the stars for a while before it happened.” he says leaving me to look at him breathlessly. Did he just hint at what I think he did, my mind is racing. I have no idea how to respond to this, Eric’s still looking at me with the same intense eyes and Robyn has huge eyes with a wide smile on his face. It’s Mike that saves me.

“He’s just trying to get laid” and he casually takes a bite out of his sandwich. Eric is not amused and Robyn tries not to laugh.

“Who says he didn't already?” I ask throwing a punch at Mike. He looks at me and then at Eric. If the latter had his poker face on this might have worked but Eric looks as shocked as Robyn and Mike.

“His face just did” Mike says and we all start to laugh. Eating our food we talk about a lot of things. Robyn tells us she’s excited for prom in a few days but asks nothing about it. Eric looked at me when she mentioned prom but I kept my eyes and attention straight on Robyn when he did. Mike is happy just being him and we have a really good time. When we’re done eating I go to the bathroom which gives Robyn the perfect excuse to go sit next to Eric in my place.

“So are you gonna ask her to prom already?” 

“Uhm what? She doesn’t even go to our school” Eric says trying to escape the conversation. 

“Yeah but that doesn’t really matter now does it?” Robyn ask Eric. “Listen I don’t know about what you think but the two of you are perfect for each other. Dude she’s mad about you.” she says to him.

“Has she said anything?” he asks curious.

“More than one thing. Believe me. You play your cards right and she’s walking up to you at the altar before long.” Robyn says killing every bit of subtlety that was asked for. 

“You’re shitting me?” Eric asks apprehensive.

“Dude this chick, for whatever fucking reason seems really invested in you. Why not me, I’ll never understand but man for real. I think Robyn is right.” Mike gets in with the conversation. Eric sits back in his chair and nobody sees how his heart is racing and his thoughts even faster. Struggling to keep everything on his shoulders. Ready to finally start making his decision. Walking out of the bathroom I see Robyn going back to her chair and Eric looks around. His face looks so incredibly happy. 

“I dare to bet my left foot that I do not want to know what you guys were talking about just now.” I say as I sit down. Judging from Robyn’s face prom was mentioned. “Let's hang out.” I say to them.

“My parents are out” Eric suggests.

“Rave party” Mike says throwing his hands in the air.

“Or we do something else less drastic” Eric says looking at Mike as if he’s gone mad. I smile at Eric.

“Yeah I second that, raves give me headaches for two straight days” I say remembering the last one.

“You’ve been to a rave?” Mike asks loudly.

“Yeah a couple of times and one time we had the glow in the dark paint, that was fun” I tell them as we make our way. “No need to pay guys, when you’re with friends here you get a 100% discount” I look back rolling my eyes at Mike. 

“What?” Robyn asks. 

“Well three out of four get a 100% discount in this place” and I wink at her. “Let’s go watch a movie or something” I say taking Eric’s hand, who looks at me in disbelief. Then he does something I didn't expect him to do so soon. He kisses me in front of his friends. Making me all shy. 

“Damn, I have to say Eric. I’m so jealous I want to cry rainbow sprinkles” Mike says staring at me.

“Look at me like that for much longer and you’re uninvited.” I say as we make our way to the cars. 

“Match truly made in hell. I’m not coming to the wedding just so you guys know” Mike says and Eric places his arm around my shoulder when he says.

“Who said you’re invited?” and he places a kiss on the side of my head. My eyes turn big and Robyn starts to whistle the wedding march. 

“What have you started?” I ask Eric. All he does is grin. We drive in his car and they follow us. I can’t deny that I’m still unsure as to how it will all go but I would be lying if I didn't feel like I might actually have Eric with me in June. We get settled in his basement and Eric gets up to get us snacks and drinks. 

“Okay but you two are perfect for each other” Robyn says as soon as Eric’s upstairs. I look at her and Mike and start to smile.

“If you ask me I agree.” I tell her. Little did I know, Eric was listening on top of the stairs crouched down. “But matters of the heart can’t be forced” I say feeling like a real adult.

“Real mature grandma but tell me why that doofus hasn’t asked you to prom yet?” Mike asks sitting next to me. I feel my stomach turn like it always does in these situations. 

“Oh uhm I don’t know. I mean I’m not even going to school with you guys so” I say trying to leave this subject. Eric’s resting his head on the brown wooden staircase with his eyes closed. Feeling immense guilt and sadness for how she must be feeling. She even said the same thing he did. “I’m going to see if Eric needs some help, he’s taking forever.” and I get up. Above me Eric gets up straight and almost flies to the kitchen. I get up the stairs and stay standing there for a minute to collect myself. Then Eric comes out of the kitchen with some candy and chips. 

“Hey” he says and when he sees my face he ads “what’s wrong?” Looking at Eric I know he’s already struggling enough. 

“Nothing you have to worry about” and I walk past him “I’ll get the drinks” walking into the kitchen I get us all a soda but when I want to walk out of the kitchen I see Eric standing there nothing in his arms and he walks over to me and pulls me in for a kiss. Deep and loving he kisses me. Letting his hands run up to my back and soon enough they’re all around me, holding me tight while he opens his mouth to let his tongue taste mine. My arms around his neck I kiss him avidly. Eric pushes me back against the kitchen counter and lets me feel his body against mine. Not afraid to let me feel the hunger growing down south. We break the embrace at the speed of lightning at the sound of someone scraping their throat. We look at where the sound comes from and see a very amused Mike standing there. 

“Snacks and soda’s huh.” he says turning around and going back down. He’s not even in the basement when he starts to roar telling Robyn what he saw. 

“Your fault” I say before turning around to get the sodas.

“Yeah it kinda is” he says smiling “but very worth it” he says placing a hand softly on my behind. I smile at him and start walking.

“Get the snacks, Harris” I say before going downstairs. Mike starts to slow clap when I enter the room. 

“Get a grip Mike” I say putting the drinks down but even Robyn is snickering as she looks at me. “Oh come on guys, we were fully dressed.” Robyn has her brow raised and still looks at me with devilish eyes. “Grow up, you guys act like you are teenagers or something.” I say when sitting down on the couch next to Mike where there is a space on the other side of me left for Eric. Who is now coming down the stairs with the snacks. Believe it or not, they again start the craziness. 

“Shut up Mike” Eric says making me laugh. “What movie are we watching?” Eric asks us all.

“We could watch Event Horizon” I suggest but Mike shakes his head. “Lost highway? You have that one right?” I ask Eric. He smirks knowing full well he never told me. 

“I do” he says.

“Well I’ve never seen that one and it gets good ratings so” I look at Robyn and Mike who agree. Eric puts in the movie and comes sit beside me and it takes him less then a second to place his arm around me, pulling me close. The movie starts becomes quite awkward after not too long. I shot a glance at Robyn whose cheeks are a beautiful shade red. Making me chuckle. Behind me Eric asks “what’s wrong?” making me and Robyn chuckle even harder.

“Nothing, just watch the movie.” and I avoid eye contact with Robyn. Mike is awfully quiet. Up until a point where I guess he can’t take it anymore.

“So Y/n when was the last time you had sex” breaking the build up tension beautifully. I am now sitting against Eric with my feet on the couch so I kick Mike making him scoff at me. 

“When was the last time you had sex Mike?” I ask him, making Eric almost choke on his drink behind me. I turn around and say “sorry babe” which makes him and Robyn smile. Through the rest of the movie we chatter a bit and I’m making very weird noises during the sex scenes, Robyn too shy to join me. Eric is laughing so hard at my silliness that I can’t sit against his chest anymore. 

“Is that the noises she makes when you touch her because then I’d feel so sorry for you man” Mike says at the very end of the movie. 

“Don’t go there man, you’re always too much” Eric says looking at his friend all annoyed. 

“I make way better noises okay” I say blunt. “Like these” and I start making animal noises, soon everyone joins so we don’t even hear his parents come down the stairs. 

“Visitors” his father says with a smile. We all turn around and hope they did not hear what preceded the animal sounds. I quickly sit up even more straight making Eric laugh. We greet his parents and before they go up again they tell me how nice it is to see me again. 

“Likewise mr and mrs Harris” I say endeared by their lovely remark. 

“Mother and father-in-law” Mike whispers as they walk up the stairs. 

“Kick him out Eric” I say looking at Eric who smiles at my remark.

“You always make me feel so loved. I’m walking on clouds when I’m with you.” Mike says with the most neutral expression making it even more funny.

Robyn chuckles before she says “we have to go anyway it’s dinner time soon” 

“We should all have dinner sometime soon, that would be so much fun. Obviously the place needs to have a kiddy meal for Mike” 

“Fries and nuggets. I’m not complaining” Mike says getting up. Robyn laughs and follows him. Eric and I get up as well to escort them out. At the door Robyn and I hug and she whispers “he’s gonna ask you I guarantee it” I just smile at her when she lets me go. We greet Mike and Eric closes the door behind them.

“Are you still staying for a bit?” Eric asks and I nod yes. We walk back to his room this time and I settle on the edge of his bed. Eric closes the door but stays standing at the door. 

“Would you like to come in?” I ask playfully. Eric rolls his eyes and walks up to sit next to me. He’s fidgeting with his hand. 

“You know we had a rage a while back with something called fidget spinners, I think you would like them.” I say while I take one of his hands in mine. 

“Fidget spinners and what do they do?” he asks looking at our hands. 

“Well you flick it and hold it in the center and then it spins around. It was a crazy rage. Didn't last long though” I say creating patterns on his hand with my pointer finger, his eyes following every move I make.

“Sounds quite boring” Eric says with an odd tone.

“They get boring real quick, yes.Eric are you okay?” I ask looking at his face. 

He meets my eyes which look sad. “Eric, talk to me” I say locking eyes with him. 

“I don’t know how to at this point. There are things I want to say to you and to Dylan but every time I try I just jam shut.” he says scaring me a bit. 

“Is there anything I can do to make it easier?” I ask him carefully.

“Being around you is enough” and he leans in to give me a kiss. Short but his lips never felt this soft before. I smile at him. 

“Do you want to skip school tomorrow or a part of it and just drive up somewhere?” I ask him and I feel his arm going around my back, holding my side. 

“No I can’t I have exams but otherwise that would have been perfect.” his lips find my neck and he places soft and burning kisses everywhere making it impossible for me to think straight. His other hand goes up to my cheek and he turns me to face him so he can give me a kiss. That growing feeling in my core builds up as he deepens the moment by pulling me so close against him my chest is pressed on his. I push him further back so he’s down on the bed, I pull his legs on the bed as well and Eric’s a little shocked at my brass move but instinctively he gets up further on the bed. I get on top of him and straddle him while I go down to kiss him. His hands instinctively shoot up to my ass where he allows himself to really feel me. Caressing me before lust takes over and his hands get rougher on me. I sit up and pull my shirt over my head revealing my black lacy bra to him. I lock eyes with him and lick my lips as I reach behind my back to unclasp my bra, Eric shoots up sitting so his face is just below mine. His eyes flicking back and forth between my face and chest. I let the straps fall down my arm and Eric closes his eyes for a second. His mouth open as he sees me taking off my bra. He swallows hard before leaning forward to let him mouth and tongue explore the bare skin that drives him insane. He’s gentler then I imagined he’d be. A lot more controlled. His hands run over my abdomen and up to my bosom as well, holding me in his hands. Letting his tongue run over my nipples making me moan because i’ve been wanting him for so long. He’s getting heated and sloppy. Until he can’t hold back any longer and he turns me on my back. Seeing him on his knees between my legs with the hunger rising in his eyes I feel myself react to him and I just want him to touch me again. Something he willingly gives me. His hands on my thighs as he leans down to kiss the body he so desires. Making their way up to my bosom again his hands trace every curve of my hips before he lets his hands provoke carnal feelings deep within him and me. His mouth going over my left breast while his fingers feel my right. Exploring and trying to use his fingers and hand in every way he can think off. Pinching, kneading, pressing my sensitive skin with his lean fingers and wanting hand. Making his way into my neck again he stops underneath my ear, lets out a sharp breath before taking my earlobe in between his lips. “You drive me over the edge without even touching me.” he whispers in my ear while he starts to thrust in between my legs. I let my hands run down to his pants but he stops me with one hand. The other he has on my thigh pressing it down while he creates a friction that feels so good even I get stimulated in ways I haven’t before with clothes still on like this. He presses against me while he devours my upper body. I moan in his ear which earns me a low growl from Eric coming from deep within. That’s when he first softly bites me, on my collarbone. His teeth grazing my skin when I feel his thrusting getting even harder. This sends chills down my spine and I buck up with my hips. “Fuck” he almost whimpers as he pushes down on me a final time before he stays like that for a while. Panting in my neck. His lips find mine and he starts to kiss me making me feel so hot I lock my legs around him making him gasp a little. My arms around his neck with one hand in his hair. Hit nike hat now somewhere on the floor. It takes him a good minute before he faces me again. Big smile on his face when he gives me small kisses on my lips. 

“You’re so hot” he says chuckling making me laugh as well. He looks down on me and sees the modest marks he left on me. “I didn't hurt you right?” and I start to laugh.

“No you didn't. That’s for another time” I say with a smirk before I kiss him. His eyes shortly roll to the back of his head and he says.

“Unreal, that’s what you are” before he starts to leave butterfly kisses all over my exposed bosom before he gets up and goes to his bathroom. I close my eyes and bite my bottom lip still feeling the moment. Before long I put on my bra and shirt again and that’s when Eric walks out. In his shirt and a towel. My jaw drops open and I get up to tease him.

“What are you doing?” he asks when I get closer. I start to pull just a little on his towel. “No no, you stop right now” he says with the biggest smile on his face. I wrap my arms around his lower back and softly let my hands run down to his butt. “Nooo absolutely not” he says laughing now.

“Oh come on, let me feel the butt, Harris” and I start to smile so hard.

“I don’t think so.” he says pulling my hands off of him. I keep trying to grab at his towel until he says “you stop right now or you’re uninvited to the wedding as well” 

I start to pout really hard “you’re uninviting me to my own wedding? Rude” I say loving this joke. He then looks at me and with a soft and tender voice he says.

“Well that would mean my wedding is off as well so lets keep you invited” and with that said he turns around back into the shower to put on the jeans he grabbed from his closet. Leaving me there with the biggest of smiles. When he’s done I go in to get decent again. When I come out Eric is sitting at his desk and closes his journal as he sees me. Pen still in his hand. He smiles as he looks at me while he puts his journal away. 

“My mother assumed you’re staying for dinner and who am I to break her heart. So you’re staying.” 

“Horrible, eating here? With you? I can’t stand the idea.” I say lying through my teeth. He bites his bottom lip and comes to hug me very tight. 

“You’re a horrible liar” he says smiling against my hair. Kissing my head before he takes my hand to go upstairs for dinner. With him and his parents. 

Later when dinner is over and Eric drops me off at the motel. He’s standing next to me looking at me. His eyes glued to my face, a small smile on his lips before he kisses me. Making me feel like this is the perfect timing to tell him this openly.

“Eric” I say placing a hand on his cheek.

“Yes gorgeous” he says smiling so sweetly.

“I love you” and I place a small kiss on his lips. Leaving him behind breathless as I go to open my door a couple of steps away from him. As I open it Eric says.

“I love you too. Sweet dreams.” and I look at him.

“Dream a little, dream of me” I say melodic before going into my room. 


	22. Circles in the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone this is Thursday the 15th of April. Let me please know what you think, I love the feedback. <3

It took me forever to fall a sleep last night. Turning in bed, on an incredible high from the day. Then around 3 am my thoughts wandered off to Dylan and the high oozed out of me, leaving me sad and afraid. Wondering how Dylan was going to get through this if Eric does back out of NBK. Another thought I cannot let in because that opens up pandora’s box. So when I finally fell a sleep around 4:30 it didn't surprise me when I just woke up at almost 11 with a painful knot in my left shoulder. I try to massage it out and go take a warm shower to ease the pain a bit. I’m humming while I pick out my clothes for the day. My black skinny jeans and a grey tight jumper. When I start to do my hair there’s knocking on my door. Looking at the time I see it’s close to lunchtime at Columbine so maybe it’s Eric. Walking over to the door I open it without asking who it is and it’s not Eric. 

“Robyn hey” I say smiling at her, she smiles back.

“Hey am I interrupting you?” she asks me kindly.

“Not at all I was just taming my hair as you can see.” I say raising the bobby pins in my hand. “Do you want to come in?” I ask her.

“Uhm actually, I was wondering if you’d come to Columbine with me for lunch?” she asks in return.

“Is everything okay?” I ask a little concerned why she’d come get me.

“Yeah I mean the boys are a bit iffy and well you light up everyone's mood so” I tilt my head at her and feel my chest puff up a bit at her words.

“That is the sweetest thing to say ever. God you’re so sweet Robyn. I hope the guys are okay but sure, of course I’ll come with you. I’ll wear my hair down for a change. Who cares right?” I say as I get ready to go with her. I jump in her car with her and attempt to get that knot out before we get there. “You’re such a good friend, Robyn. Trying to cheer up your friends and make sure I’m not bored out of my skull at the same time.” I say smiling at her. 

“I just want this last period in high school to be a good one you know. So much shit has been going on for the last years and especially Eric seems to feel so much better. I want everyone to have good memories before graduation.” she says unaware that she just broke my heart. “You know” she ads looking at me. I force out a smile.

“I do know.” I say timidly.

“I’m glad. Okay let's go bust Mike’s balls” Robyn says parking her car. I gasp out laughing.

“I’m so down” I say still laughing as we make our way into the building that 21 years ago was still unharmed on this Thursday. Robyn leads the way and soon enough we see a group of three unhappy but familiar faces. One lights up as we make eye contact and I smile at him. He gets up and the other two turn around, one being Erik and the other one Mike. 

“Hey you’re a nice surprise” Eric says with a big smile. 

“Missed me already?” Robyn jokes as she walks past him to take a seat next to Erik. I smile and walk over to Eric stopping right in front of him. Even in this packed cafeteria he kisses me on the cheek. Leaving me to blush like I’m still a teenager that belongs in high school. 

“I actually wanted to go visit you after school real quick” Mike says smiling.

“You, visit me? Really?” I ask him a little confused as to why he’d do that.

“Yes you, because I need to give you something” he says getting something from his pocket. 

“Herpes?” I ask squinting my eyes. Mike stops what he’s doing and stares straight past me with a devastated look. Eric beside me looks so disgusted with this it’s hilarious. 

“Wow you really went for it” Robyn says sucking in her lips as she looks at Mike. 

“You’re mean. Okay. Mean” Mike says and he pulls something out his pocket but keeps it under the table. “What I want to give you is something I collected for you yesterday when Eric made me crazy jealous with his lips on yours” and he throws something at me. I catch it and as I look at it I start to smile really wide. Eric is chuckling and Robyn starts to laugh. 

“Wait what? Holy shit I’ve missed some stuff” Erik says as he looks at something colorful in my hands. I hold it up for everyone to see properly. 

“It’s colored sprinkles from his rainbow tears” I say smiling. “Mike that’s actually a really a sweet thing to give me. Thank you” I say as I walk over to him and hug him with my arms around his shoulders. My hair falling down over the both of us. 

“Oh dear lord have mercy” Mike says as he takes advantage of the moment and hugs me back tighter then needed. “I’m gonna take it all in because as soon as I let you go that’s it. Eric’s sending me to my maker” Mike says muffled against my hair making me laugh really hard. 

“Stop that, Eric will do no such thing” I say as I let him go to stand up straight again. Eric’s eyes however say something completely different. 

“So when did you two become a thing?” Erik asks smiling as I walk back to eric.

“On a beautiful day” I repeat Eric’s words. Eric pulls out a chair for me with a miniscule smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Eric says “the best day actually” 

“Damn Harris could you be any more enthusiastic?” I ask him sitting down but then I remember Robyn said something about the boys being a little iffy. I roll my shoulder a couple of times and winch slightly. Eric looks at me as I do so but says nothing. 

“Sorry this morning wasn’t the greatest” he says taking my hand that was just resting on the table. 

“Are you okay?” I ask him. 

“A lot better now” Eric says with a more genuine smile now. 

“Look at you two. I guess you’re taking her to prom Eric?” Erik asks nonchalant. I keep my eyes straight on the table.

“Eric’s being a dick. I don’t think he even asked yet” Mike says carelessly. Rubbing Eric the wrong way.

“Mind your own damn business. You’ll see us at prom or not. Drop it” Eric says harsh and coldly. Making me regret coming here with his words. I pull my hand out of his and pretend to look over the sprinkles. Robyn catches the moment of course and gives me a sympathetic look. One I didn't want to catch because I feel awful and on the verge of a brand new panic attack. I place my hand on my left shoulder and try to twist the knot out and it seems it’s already hurting a lot less. “What’s wrong?” Eric asks a little worried. I look up at him and he reads how I feel immediately because I can see he does in his eyes.

“Nothing I woke up with a really painful shoulder, I slept funny I think but it’s already getting better” I say to Eric who gets up from his seat. “What’s up?” I ask him but he seems to be struggling to answer. 

“I need to go, sorry. There is something I need to do” and he looks at me and at his friends. Robyn and I exchange looks because we don’t understand. “I’ll come by later but I’m not sure when okay.” turning around straight after he said all that. Leaving me behind stumped. I turn to look at the rest with a brow raised.

“Well that wasn’t weird at all” I say with a chuckle feeling very insecure about it all. 

“He’s out to get himself a decent white shirt and a tie or something for prom. I swear” Robyn says feeling so sure of herself.

“Oh my god stop, I don’t even want to think about that damn prom. Although I do want to know how your prom date is? Where is Dylan?” I ask her.

“I think he went home” she answers looking at the boys.

“Yeah he went home straight after that moment with those asshole jocks this morning.” Erik says and I can see the anger rising in him again. 

“Oh something happened?” I ask thinking that explains why Eric didn't react well to the hug and ended up leaving to keep his cool.

“You can say that again. Thank fuck this place is almost in my rearview mirror for good.” Mike says sounding angry. I feel so bad for them all, what a horrendous place to spend your teenage years in.

“Well one more month and then we’re free” Robyn says. Erik stays quiet. 

“Y/n hop on this table and give us a show. I want clothes flying all around us” Mike says sliding his chair back as if he’s really getting what he wants. Erik is trying not to laugh but his eyes are big when he looks at me. 

“Mike” I say getting his attention.

“Yes my sprinkle dear” he says in a horrible cutesy tone.

“You’re disgusting” I add. We all sit and chat a little, hating on jocks. I stay there and walk back when their next class begins even though Robyn tried to insist on driving me back. 

_ Eric’s POV. First person. _

_ I hated leaving her behind like that but I needed air and to get this over with. I had to get away from everybody. To see Dylan. In my car I see my hands shaking on the wheel. “Get a grip” I say slamming down hard on it. I’m done being confused. It’s final, I know I can’t go back to her without making my decision today. All that bitching about prom. I need to talk to Dylan. Speeding my way over to his place I hope his parents aren’t home. We don’t need ears for the conversation. My heart is racing and I feel like I’m going insane. I need that to be over and my decision needs to be final. Parking my car in front of his house I get out and knock on the door quickly. It doesn’t take long before the door is opened. He opens it. _

_ “Dylan. We need to talk” I say without hesitation.  _

_ “My parents are out you can come in” Dylan says cooly. _

_ “Good.” I say stepping in. He walks over to his living room and I follow him. He sits down on the couch and I sit on the opposite one. “Listen whatever y/n has told you, it’s true. I don’t know what it is man because she never tells me anything that she talks about with you but if she told you something it’s true.”  _

_ “Yeah is that so” Dylan asks with a sarcastic tone. _

_ “She hasn’t spoken to her father in two years because she decided to come back here. She’s given up a lot, she hasn’t lied to me once, everything she said checked out. Man I’m not here to pursued you to believe her but trust me. You can” I tell him. _

_ “I need to trust you when I don’t even know if you’re still in NBK? I don’t think so.” Dylan says getting up. “I can’t even rely on you anymore.” he says having me jump up to my feet. It’s been enough. _

_ “I’m out.” my heart is pounding in my throat so hard it hurts. Dylan’s jaw muscles start to twitch and I see his hands are turned into fists. Fuck.  _

_ “You’re out? After everything, you just jump out for her.” Dylan says spiteful. _

_ “Yes. I’m out. It’s done.” I say once more.  _

_ “What the fuck man I thought this was a two man war against the world.” he starts but I cut him off. _

_ “Well it’s not anymore. I want a life.” I say raising my voice. “I’m sorry but I can’t do it.” _

_ “You’re sorry? Fuck that. Fuck you.” Dylan says angrier than I’ve ever seen him.  _

_ “I’m getting rid of everything I have. I suggest you do the same.” I say as cold as I can. My heart is still racing and I feel my knees are getting weak from this tension. Dylan looks at me as if he’s ready to tear my head off.  _

_ “Get the fuck out of my house” Dylan says pointing at the door. Without a second thought I follow the direction his finger points me to and I leave Dylan behind not knowing how or if I’ll ever be able to look at him ever again. Getting into my car my hands are shaking so goddamn much I can’t even start it. I look back at the house and I see Dylan in the doorway looking at me. My door is closed but I can still hear him loud and clear when he yells. _

_ “Get fucking going”  _

_ My hands steady and I put the key in and drive off. My head can’t keep up with every thought that’s running through my mind. When I get home I realise I have no idea how I got here. Parking the car worse than I’ve ever done before I get out of the car and run towards the door. Opening it I’m relieved no one is home. I fly down the stairs and burst through my bedroom door and collapse right in front of my bed on the floor. My arms holding on to the bed. “Fuck” I yell out before I start to sob. Pressing my head into my mattress my whole body starts to shake. I can’t breath, my lungs are burning. My body feels heavy and after a little while everything around me turns dark and I just give in to it.  _

It’s already close to midnight. Eric’s not coming today. I can’t sleep because my mind is consumed with why Eric’s not here. I start to put away my notebook and when I’m done I take some money and my keys to go get a drink from the vending machine. As I close the door a fragile voice behind me calls out my name. Turning around I see Eric standing there. His arms hanging beside him, he looks wretched. 

“Eric?” I call out his name walking up to him. 

“Come on I wanna go somewhere with you” he says while he opens my door for me and walks over to his own door. He’s scaring me with his demeanor. I do as he says and get in. The car ride is in total silence. The darkness coming in from outside doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Eric doesn’t even look at me. I glance over once or twice before giving up. Eventually we stop at a remote bridge over a deep looking river. I do not feel at ease and this place gives off ominous vibes. “We’re here” Eric says sounding miserable. I get out and so does he. Eric walks up to the side of the bridge and looks down into the water and looks around him. Then he turns his attention back to me.

“Eric you’re scaring me a little what is going on?” I softly say to him. Eric walks over to the trunk of his car and opens it. I walk up to him and see a big black bag and a smaller one. He opens the big bag without saying a word. The first thing that catches my eye is his shotgun. I leap back.

“No no. Eric.” I say walking back and I begin to panic. “Why did you bring that? I don’t want to be near it.” Eric’s eyes turn really big and scared.

“You don’t think I’d?” he asks and I respond immediately.

“No of course not but Eric please I don’t want to be near that gun” I say my voice breaking as tears start to stream down my cheeks. He walks up closer to me.

“I need you” he says pleading and he takes my hand to walk me back to the trunk. I stop before I can see the gun, struggling to let go of his hand.

“No Eric.” I say to him but he takes out the gun he so fondly kissed in the Basement Tapes. “What are you doing with that?” I say looking at him as he holds the gun. Eric squeezes my hand tight making me feel sick to my stomach.  _ He really wouldn’t do anything to me right? _ I think while feeling like I need to throw up. Then Eric walks over to the side of the bridge almost dragging me with him and without hesitation throws Arlene over the railing down in the water. I gasp and place my hands over my mouth. Together with Eric I look down in the water, counting the rings Arlene left as her final visible trace in this world. I slowly turn my head to look at Eric, realising what this means. Eric looks like he’s about to fall over but when he looks at me his eyes show no regret. For a minute we stand there looking at each other. My eyes are not the only two that are wet. I swallow hard and want to say something but I don’t know what can be said in this moment. Eric must feel the same way because he stays silent too. He says nothing when he gets the bag. Taking out the Carbine my heart feels in shock. With a swift move he sends the Carbine flying as well. That too leaves circles as a last sign of life. Placing the bag on the floor Eric comes to stand really close beside me and takes my hand in his. 

“Everything is in that bag. I ript the pipe bombs apart and threw some parts in the bag and other parts in the trash. All the ammo. It’s there.” he says and then turns to face me. I nod at him, bend through my knees and grab a box of shotgun shells. I open it and turn it around above the river. Eric starts to do the same. 

“We empty the rest of it in the river and put the ammo boxes back in the bag.” I tell Eric.

“The papers, with the plans and my journal. They’re in another bag.” Eric says reading my mind. 

“We’ll burn them” I say looking at the last sinkable items in the bag before I take it from Eric’s hands. Turning it over into the water. Sending some of the last things Eric owns of the planned disaster on their way into oblivion. When we’re done we go back into the car and the ride back to my room is in silence as well. Getting out of the car Eric takes the other bag with writings, drawings, plans, journal pages and everything he had out of his car and places it under the desk in my room. I fill two glasses with water, one for the both of us. I give it to Eric and he drinks it in one go. I take his empty glass from his hand and give him my glass. He takes it and takes another big gulp of water. I go to refill a glass for myself.

“Dylan knows” Eric says and I see him sitting on the edge of the bed. 

I stay standing where I am and just look at Eric. 

“When I spoke to my mom she said something.” Eric gets up from the bed, drinks the rest of his water and places the glass on the desk. “She said that one time my dad had hurt his back at work and her back was hurting all day until he came home and told her.”

“They’re soulmates” I blurt out. 

“That was when I first felt this soulmate connection may not be the weirdest thing I’d ever heard about. Then you came to school with Robyn and you said something that finalized everything for me.” and he takes a few steps forward in my direction. I want to move but cannot for the life of me lift my feet. The intensity of this moment is flowing through my body. I can’t even comprehend everything that’s happening. “I wonder if you know?” he asks.

“Know what?” I ask him almost desperate. 

“What is meant when you said it.” he says taking another step closer. 

“I’m sorry I’m not following” I say honestly.

“This morning jocks started to fuck around like they do. One body checked me into the fucking lockers. I slammed into it right with my left” 

“Shoulder” I say while my hand goes up to mine. The pain is completely gone. “Holy fucking shit” I say looking at Eric who now has a smile on his face.

“Yes holy fucking shit” he repeats before the smile fades again “so that’s when I knew. I’m out y/n, I’m so fucking out of NBK.” he says before hugging me with an intensity like never before. I feel completely numb. I’ve daydreamed about this moment for years and in them I was always ecstatic or jumping up and down at least. Excitement was what I thought it would bring me once he told me he wouldn’t go through with it. All I’m feeling right now is how tired I am and numbness. I hold him close against me and feel his shoulders start to shake. He’s crying. I just keep him in my arms without moving or speaking. “I need to sit” he says eventually. 

“Okay we’ll sit” I tell him while we sit on the bed. “Do you want a painkiller for your shoulder?” I ask him.

“No thanks” he says drying his tears with his hands as fast as he can. He looks exhausted. I’m thinking the best thing right now is some normality. So I take off my shoes.

“Come on take your shoes off as well.” I tell him. Eric looks at me and nods. He takes his off as well. “Go settle in bed while I go put on my pajamas” 

“Okay” he says and walks around the bed to get under the covers. I see him taking off his pants in the corner of my eye before I get into the bathroom. I look into the mirror and right in this moment I do not recognise the face looking back at me. I’m not processing what just happened at all. I brush my teeth on the automatic pilot and get into my shorts and Eric’s Rammstein shirt. I’m not even thinking about the fact that he’ll see me sleep in it. I walk out of the bathroom and see Eric staring at the tv with a blank expression. He looks at me and a little grin appears on his face. I get in next to him and I’m very relieved he opens his arm for me. I curl up against his chest and see he’s looking at some kind of movie. 

“What movie is that?” I ask him.

“I have no idea” he says and he even chuckles softly. 

“Ugh my favorite movie” I say smiling. His chest goes up at his chuckle. 

“Yeah is this the one with Mufasa?” Eric asks looking down on me.

I look up and say “Mufasa is a lion you uncultured swine” and I smile sweetly at him.

“Oh my god all this time you’ve been talking about that Disney lion film, haven’t you?.” he says closing his eyes as he leans his head back. I chuckle. The silence returns again and I can hear Eric’s heart rate go up. As if the silence is too heavy for him. “Tell me something about you, something random that I don’t know” he asks almost begging to mute this silence that keeps coming back. The first thing that comes to mind is my travels.

“Well I’ve travelled to Spain, Morocco, Turkey, England, Ireland, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, Belgium, France of course, The Canary islands, Israel, Mallorca and Tsjechië.” 

“Wow that many countries?” Eric asks surprised.

“Yep but you need to keep in mind that in Europe everything is close by so that’s easier to get places and the agency is everywhere so I travelled with my dad when he had to for work.” 

“Hmm yeah makes sense” Eric says and his voice becomes deeper and deeper with each word. I look up and see his eyes are already closing. 

“Come lay down Eric” I say to him and he does so. Sinking down into his pillow a low sigh rolls over his lips. “Goodnight liefje” I tell him before I go up to kiss him. His eyes open at my words and he turns his head so my kiss lands on his lips. His hand reaches my face and his thumb softly caresses my cheek while he softly presses his lips against mine just one more time. 

“Goodnight baby” he says with a small smile on his lips. It takes me exactly a second to fall asleep and I know for a fact that Eric’s already asleep when I am. 

_ Walking on the school parking lot I see her. I run towards her “what are you doing here?” I ask her. _

_ “Stop Eric, don’t do this. You can’t do this” She begs me, I try to get her off of the parking lot.  _

_ “You can’t be here, don’t you get it. I need you to leave right now” I yell at her. She looks at me with her eyes so sad. _

_ “The bombs will fail Eric, I swear. Stop we can still fix this” she pleads with me. _

_ “You’re lying, you’re just saying that to make me leave.” and I look down on my hand. Arlene is cocked and ready to fire in my hands. When I look up at her she looks so afraid. _

_ “No please don’t” she begs with her hands out in front of her. _

_ “What no baby I would nev” I feel the familiar recoil above my hip and look down and up at her again. She’s in shock looking down on her hands desperately trying to stop the bleeding in her abdomen.  _

_ “Eric” she says falling to her knees. _

_ “Noooooo” I yell out as I go to catch her as she keeps falling forward. _

_ “It’s okay liefje” she tells me. _

_ “No it isn’t I’m so sorry baby, please I didn't mean to hurt you” I cry out. _

_ Her hand goes up to my cheek, she’s smiling. “It’s okay because I’m in the arms of my true love” and her eyes fall close. _

_ “Noo no baby noo please I’m sorry. Don’t leave me. I didn't mean to I swear” my arms and legs start to flop around me and her dead body falls on the floor. I try to pick her up but I can’t my arms are flailing everywhere.  _

“Eric, Eric wake up” I say shaking him gently. Then he jerks up straight. His eyes frantic as he looks around him. “Eric it’s okay you had a nightmare” I tell him holding his shoulders. He looks at me, panting and he pulls me close only to push me off of him again and he grabs my shirt and pulls it up a little looking at my stomach. “Eric what’s wrong?” I ask him.

“I thought I lost you. I in my dream I” he says letting go of the shirt and pulling me close to him again. 

“No babe I’m right here, you’re okay. We’re okay” I tell him letting my hand run up to the back of his head. I give him kisses in his hair and neck and I feel him getting calmer underneath my touch. 

“I thought I’d be so relieved once I finally was able to say out loud what I already knew, but it’s hard. I’m so sorry” he says clinging onto me. 

“Babe stop apologizing. Of course it’s hard, I understand” he lets go of me as I say this.

“You do? I thought you’d be upset if I told you this.” he says looking relieved.

“Eric, planning this, working towards this. You’ve done that for so long. I never expected you to be all cheerful and say well baby I’m not doing this lets celebrate. You need time to adjust. To adjust to a new reality but I’m right here every step of the way.”

“What if I can’t do it. I planned to not be here and now I need a whole new plan.” his head drops and he sighs. I take his face in my hands.

“We’ll figure it out. I promise. Just not right now, it’s late and there’s nothing we can change or do now.” I say holding his face up so I can meet his eyes and show him kindness in mine. Then I have to let go to get up.

“Where are you going” Eric asks sounding almost frightened. 

“To the bathroom. I’m not going anywhere” I tell him and he looks a little embarrassed over his own reaction. I get in and look in the mirror biting my bottom lip I can’t help but feel my heart pound in the best way possible.  _ He’s out, he’s really out.  _ I think while looking at myself. The euphoria is starting to spread through my body although I know it’s still a long way to go from here for Eric. Together we can do anything. Getting back I see Eric sitting up in the bed smiling at me.

“That shirt does look good on you.” he says with a cheeky smile.

“Yeah like I bet my pink shirt looks so great on you” I say before jumping on the bed.

“Careful you’ll break something, granny” he says smiling but I can see the hurt in his eyes. 

“Yeah sorry, wouldn’t wanna end up in the hospital.” I say getting back underneath the covers. “Wow it’s so cold, come here with your legs I need your warmth” I laugh as I crawl up against him.

“You leave my legs alone. Ah geez what the fuck, how cold are your feet?” he says jerking his legs away from me. 

“Very, the tiles in the bathroom are freezing.” I say chuckling at his reaction. “Come back” I say with a pout. Eric looks at me and sighs loudly.

“I hate this” Eric says as he gives me his legs to warm my feet on. “Jesus” he says as he takes me in his arms, meanwhile I’m giggling.

“Oh this feels so good” I say letting his warmth spread through my feet. 

“This is abuse” he chuckles before he kisses my head. I place my hand on his chest but it's right over his dent, I feel him react to my hand being there. “I’m guessing you knew about that before now” 

“Yes but please don’t feel embarrassed or anything because I used to have a cat with one eye so” 

“What?” Eric asks laughing “how do you connect the two?” 

“I don’t know but you laughed so mission accomplished” I say laughing too. Eric kisses my head again.

“Lets sleep before you start to make even less sense.” Eric says pulling the covers up to our chins. 

“Sounds like a plan Harris” I say making myself real comfortable against him. 

“Hm your feet are getting warm again, that’s good.” he says gently into my hair. 

“It is, for the both of us” I say with a smile on my face before drifting off into a deep sleep. The next time I open my eyes I see Eric still sleeping. I’m no longer curled up against him and the alarm says 7 am. I think I should wake him for school or to go home but I just can’t. He looks so peaceful. I choose to take a quick shower before I wake him. The warm water feels like a comfortable blanket all around me. I let it run over my head and create patterns with my hair over my face and shoulders. My hand shoots up to my left shoulder where the pain was yesterday. I feel like my whole body was in shock yesterday and now it’s starting to make room for modest relieve. When I dry myself down I can’t help but smile at the idea that Eric is still here. Putting my underwear on I realised my clothes where still on top of my drawer closet. So I wrap my towel around me and go back inside. Tiptoeing to my stuff I hear Eric sit up.

“Well that looks even better on you then the shirt” he says and I turn around to see he has a smirk on his face.

“Yeah I forgot my clothes.” I say while I take my stuff. Eric gets up from the bed. Walking over to me in his shirt and briefs. As soon as he can starts to playfully tug on my towel. “Harris don’t do this” I say smiling as I feel his hands run over my hips over the towel. “I think you need to get ready” I say to him as I enjoy him hugging me from behind. 

“I don’t want to. I want to stay here with you.” he says as he begins to press light kisses on my bare shoulders. I place my arms over his and let my head rest against him.

“But you have to, you already spend the night here.” I say feeling the ability to stay sensible weaken with every little kiss. 

“But I have to” he says unwillingly. “I’m going to have to face my father when I get home. That’ll be fun after I just left late without a word to come back in the morning” Eric adds already walking over to his shoes. 

“If you say you where with me perhaps he’ll be more lenient” I suggest while I pull a simple t-shirt over my head and let the towel drop to my waist.

“I’ll see how it goes. I need to go now.” he says absentmindedly and comes to give me a kiss. Walks back towards the door but stops. I look at him standing there and he turns back around. “One more” he smiles and fastly walks over to me. Pulling me into a sweet embrace and kiss. He breaks the kiss and flashes a short but loving smile. “I’ll see you soon.” he says before actually leaving. First thing I do is get dressed because yesterday’s events will surely bring me a new status update from Jack for sure. 

Surely not long after I dried my hair and I’m finished tidying up there is a knock on the door. It’s almost 8. I open the door and like I predicted I’m greeted by a stern looking woman with the signature oval badge on her blazer. 

“Y/n Hunter?” she asks in her soft voice.

“Yes ma’am.” I answer opening the door for her.

“I have instructions to take you with me to our office here in Denver. There you will be given a status update by someone more qualified.” she says even giving me a smile. I’m a bit taken aback by this. 

“Okay let me get changed and my things.” I say to her walking over to my black bag where I take out my little box that holds my own oval pin. Walking over to the closet I take a black bag from out of the bottom drawer. In it is my formal work clothes, for occasions like these. I go change and pin my hair up in a signature braided bun. Pinning on the oval on my own blazer now I feel my gut turning and I can’t help but feel excited as well as nervous as to who’s going to give me the status update and what it all entails. I walk out to the lady and remember Eric, who undoubtedly will be coming soon after school and I may not be here because I have no idea where the office is. 

“I’m going to need to make a call at the front desk” I tell the lady and she pulls out a cellphone.

“Here you go, I’ll wait outside” and she walks out straight after she handed me the phone. I dial Eric’s number which I know by heart even though I’ve never called him. Soon enough his mother answers.

“Hello mrs Harris, it’s me y/n. I am so sorry to call this early but I have a message for Eric.” I say feeling so ashamed because he just got home after spending a night here.

“Hello dear, he’s still here I’ll get him for you. Is everything alright?”she asks kindly, she’s such a sweet woman.

“Yes ma’am I’m fine, thank you I’ll hold.” I tell her. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Eric asks sounding concerned.

“Eric, yes I’m fine. Listen I’m sorry to call you like this but someone from the agency is here and she wants to take me to the office here in Denver for a status update. So I’m not sure if I’m home when you’re out from school.” I tell him.

“The agency, well that makes sense. Okay be safe and I’ll just wait or come back later if you’re not there yet.” he says.

“Sure, and I will be don’t worry. Hey just real quick, are you in trouble with your parents?” I ask him looking at the door.

“Crazy enough no. My dad told me he understood we want to spend time together but sleeping over is for weekends only, when I have school. That was it. It’s because they like you” he chuckles. 

“Or maybe they see you’re happy and that’s why” I tell him. “I will see you later today okay liefje?” I say to Eric.

“Okay baby, bye” he says before hanging up. I take my bag with wallet, ID, my keys and go outside. I see the lady already in her car. Getting in for the hour and a half drive which we spend talking. She’s very kind and funny. We get along very well. When we get there she guides me to the 3th floor of the building and tells me to wait there, someone will come to me with the status update. I get myself a cup of coffee from out of the hallway and get back in to wait for my update. After about 10 minutes the door opens and I instinctively get up from my seat. Coffee still in hand. A black man with grey hair and an all black suit walks in. 

“Miss Le Temps, my name is Nick Winters. I am here to formally inform you about several updates.” he says extending out his hand for me to shake. Firm and short we shake hands.

“Mr Winters, you call me by my birth name while my mission is under another name.” I say to him.

“That is correct but I’m an emissary directly from the council. This update is too important to convey over paper.” he says with a smile. “Please take a seat with me.” he gestures with his hand towards the seats. I do as he asks and he unbuttons the two buttons on his beautiful black suit while he does so. “Miss Le Temps, I have some very good news. It is confirmed that Eric Harris is no longer planning on going through with the attack on Columbine high school. We want you to know that the weapons have been collected off the bottom of the river they were thrown in. They are now destroyed by the agency.” 

My jaw falls open “the agency got the weapons out of the water already?” 

“Yes, we leave nothing up for chance. Mr Harris has changed his path but we had to make sure the weapons are destroyed. As you can understand.” he says sitting back, crossing his legs. 

“I do. I was just a little surprised, that’s all.” I tell him. 

“I understand. This means that your mission is almost complete. There is one major aspect in this mission that holds some uncertainty still unfortunately.” Nick continues.

“Dylan” I say “Where does he land on the scale mr Winter?” I ask Nick.

“That is not clear yet. We have reason to believe he will not go through with their plans on his own but we’re in doubt whether he’s still a threat or not. To others or even you or mr Harris. How do you weigh in on this?” he asks serious.

Dylan is considered a threat to me or Eric? This shocks me to my core. What would he do? I know the agency will not let anyone stand in the way of this success but this scares me. I think about it shortly before I answer “Dylan Klebold is a very closed person, I can’t read him. He’s been angry and very sad around me. Eric hasn’t told me anything about how Dylan reacted to anything they’ve talked about.” I say trying to explain. “I do not believe that Dylan can find peace on his own in this but something in me tells me he wouldn’t hurt mr Harris or me.” 

“What we know is that mr Harris has been in doubt for quite some time. You’ve worked well. The council was right to change the rules for this mission. Mr Harris has revealed to Dylan that you changed a lot for him, that he had doubts about doing this even before you came a long. We are keeping a close eye on the changes surrounding Dylan.” he tells me. It takes a few seconds for this all to sink in. I was right all along, Eric did have doubts. 

“What is my approach for Dylan? Is there a plan?” I ask.

“No plan. If you cross paths with him continue as you are but with caution. If not, you’re instructed not to go look him up. The agency will keep you and mr Harris save should it come to that. Your mission was directed towards Mr Harris from the start. Everything you could have achieved or will achieve with Dylan is a beautiful bonus as it where.” 

“Yes sir” I say feeling an huge hole burn in my chest. “Can I ask you a question sir?” 

“Of course.” 

“Is there a prognosis for what will happen with Dylan?” I ask hoping for at least a little bit of positivity.

“Only that what I’ve just told you.” he says shattering that hope. I nod to let him see I understand. “You will be getting a status update when we know more. One of the upcoming days you and mr Harris will be invited for a conversation with someone from the agency. To talk about past, present and future. You have achieved something that hasn’t been done often. Miss Le Temps, you should be proud. On behalf of the council I thank you, a reward will be presented to you after Tuesday has passed without incident.” He stands up and extends his arm again for me to take.

I get up as well and shake his hand. “Thank you” I say feeling very conflicted. “I was never informed of a reward, what can I expect?” I ask my final question to Nick. 

“A reward consists of what is needed. So this may vary. Think job opportunities and such to be able to make a good and easy start after everything.” Nick tells me with a little smile. This is interesting to say the least. Nick says his goodbye and the lady I got along with so well is the one to escort me back. It’s already close to midday when we get to my motel room. 

“It was nice meeting you miss Hunter. I hope our paths may cross again.” she says as I make my way to get out of the car.

“Likewise, mrs Forrester.” I say giving her my hand to shake. She does and that’s it. I get out of the car and she goes on her way back to the office. Opening my door the first I notice is a little piece of paper on the floor and my heart starts to flutter when I recognise Eric’s tiny handwriting. 

“I took the liberty of ordering you something so you can get it when you're back. She asked if I’m already looking for a ring… I’ll see you around 3. - Love Eric” 

I close my eyes and have a smile so wide on my face I fear the corners of my mouth may rip. After carefully placing the note in my notebook the first thing I do is put away my pin and change clothes. Putting it all away neatly I take Eric’s Broncos sweater out of the bag when I put the pin back in. Putting it on over my shirt gives me much comfort and only then do I realise I’m very hungry. So I get my bag and walk over to the coffee place ready to get my coffee and something to eat. Stepping in there I’m greeted by a warm smile.

“Hey gorgeous, I have a coffee and pie of your choosing prepaid for you. Cappuccino and a?” she asks me.

“Pecan pie but I’d like lunch first I’m starving.” and I go take a seat with the menu she gave me. I have the special and when I’m all done she comes to bring me my cappuccino and pecan pie. 

“Here you go. That boy tries so hard to like me.” she says laughing, I laugh with her. “What a sweetheart. Getting you a coffee and pie like that.” she says as she walks away with my dirty lunch things. Looking at the coffee and pie I can’t help but smile. That first sip is wonderful and the pie is delicious. It’s almost 1 when I’m done so I decide to go for a walk to kill some time. 

Opening the door to my motel after I completely lost track of time I just have time to change the sweater for a jumper before Eric gets there. He knocks on the door and I swing it open with a smile on my face. 

“Hey beautiful” he says smiling back before coming in. 

“Hi Harris” I say happy to see he looks a little less tense “how was your day?” 

“To be honest with you it was horrible. I felt like shit.” he says sitting down on the bed. 

“I’m sorry babe. Luckily it went well with your dad right?” I say trying to find an easier topic for him.

“Yeah I was quite surprised. He just said no more sleepovers during the week. That’s it.” he looks at me with a small smile. “I wish it was Friday already. I’m so goddamn tired.” 

“We should do something fun this weekend. Take your mind off of things a little. Go to the woods, get some fresh air.” and I climb on the bed behind him and place my arms over his shoulders, letting my face rest in his neck. 

“I’d love that, lets go Saturday early in the morning.” he says dreamily. Then he tenses up and turns to look at me. “Prom is Saturday.” he states.

“Yes but that’s not important. We do whatever you feel like doing” I tell him giving him a small peck in his neck. He smiles.

“I think I wanna go to prom.” he says looking at me. I go sit beside him. 

“Are you sure?” I ask tilting my head as I look at him.

“Yes. Prom with my” he stops talking and squints his eyes.

“Prom with my?” I ask him.

“Well uhm I almost said my girlfriend but we haven’t really” he says and I cut him off with a kiss.

“Yeah I’m thinking that’s what I am. Unless you want to date for a while, see if you really do like me. I mean” and I raise my shoulders. Eric smiles.

“My girlfriend.” he says with a wide smile. “I like the sound of that, we can have all the dates you want as my girlfriend” he says lovingly. Kissing me a little longer. 

“Prom it is then.” I say to him.

“I should get a nice shirt and tie or something” he says looking out in front of him. 

“Get a burgundy tie to match my dress” I say biting my bottom lip as he looks at me quite shocked.

“You have a dress? A burgundy dress?” Eric asks with a puffed up chest.

“Yeah Robyn was so sure you were gonna ask me to go to prom and frankly I wanted to believe we’d go so badly that I just bought the first dress I loved.” I say a little shy. 

Eric looks at me and takes a deep breath before he gives me a loving kiss “burgundy tie it is” he says smiling against my lips. “Can’t believe it’s only Thursday. I have no idea how I’ll get through this week.” 

“I’ll come join you for lunch tomorrow how does that sound?” hoping it’ll make him a little happier in school.

“That sounds like a great plan” and he gets a smirk on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask him leaning back a bit. Eric pulls me against him before he places me flat on my back on the bed. He gets on top of me and smirks. “Oh this is why” I say smiling while Eric settles himself between my legs.

“Is that okay?” Eric asks tracing my lips with his thumb.

“Absolutely liefde van mijn leven” I tell him with a happy smile.

Eric takes in a deep breath “well it’s almost June, I can wait to find out what that means.” he gets an odd but positive look on his face “I have all the time in the world” and he kisses me making the euforia spread through my body at the speed of lightning. 


	23. Where it all began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, sorry to have kept you waiting. It's Friday before prom. I hope you all enjoy this. 
> 
> Today is the day we remember them, all of them. My heart is always heavy on this day.

Walking over to meet Eric for lunch I have my hands in my pockets. It’s chilly but the sun is shining making it a perfect day. Yesterday after Eric left I felt happiness increase inside of me.  _ I have all the time in the world _ after he said that it sent electric shots through the both of us, leaving us heated and wanting each other. A smile appears on my face as I relive the moments after he said that. His hands tracing my bare skin, his lips gently and sweet on me. It was love pouring out of the both of us. Shaking my head smiling as I keep walking I know I need to focus a little better on my surroundings. Crossing the road to the school I walk to the entrance, still smiling. Until I see Eric’s face. He’s waiting for me outside of the doors and meets me as I walk up to him. He looks extremely nervous.

“Dylan just joined the table” Eric says skipping hello as he walks towards me, coming to the point immediately. 

“Excuse me?” I say surprised “did he say anything to you or?” Eric’s now next to me. 

“He’s distant but not angry like he was when I left his place. We’ve said hi because the others are around but nothing more. He’s just there.” Eric says looking at me. I look at him before I respond.

“Well maybe he doesn’t know how to act so he tries to keep it normal?” Eric looks sceptical “I don’t know Eric, I’m just guessing here.” 

“I have no idea.” and he shrugs “it’s so weird. I kinda figured he wouldn’t come to school or at least that we’d avoid each other.” Eric’s seems a little lost.

“Probably the best thing to do is see where it goes. Maybe this is a good thing?” I say feeling insecure about it. When Eric raises his eyebrow I add “yeah I know I’m just trying to be positive here.” 

“I know you are, thank you. Let’s just see how it goes then.” and Eric takes my hand in his but I do not move as he starts walking.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I ask looking at the building in front of me. 

“Why not?” Eric asks defensive “he can come in and do as he please but I can’t?” and he looks at my apprehensive face. 

“Eric I’m not saying you can’t do as you please but maybe it’s better to” Eric kisses me silent.

“I’ve made my decision and now I want to start living by it. We said we’d have lunch together and Robyn expects you already. You can’t disappoint her.” he says trying to joke about it.

“When you put it like that. I just don’t wanna push Dylan into something radical.” I say still standing as he starts to playfully pull on my arm. 

“I promise I won’t start making out with you in the commons with Dylan around.” he says with a lopsided smirk as he licks his lips undoubtable thinking about yesterday. 

“Please don’t ever do that. Some things should only be done in private.” I say while I hesitantly start to walk. “Fine Harris I’ll come.” and Eric starts to smile a little less devious. “I don’t want to lay it on there so, these” and I shake my hands “will stay empty”.

“Can’t believe you’d do that to me.” Eric says jokingly. “I’m only semi joking.” he admits.

“I knew that” I say to him as we walk on our way to the commons. Eric tries to take my hand in his “stop playing” I say but can’t help smiling. Eric seems less gloomy then yesterday and I have to admit that makes me so happy. 

“Sprinkles” Mike yells as he sees me. Dylan turns around and looks at us with a blank expression.

“Damn he deserves an oscar for his ability to control his face like that” I whisper so only Eric can hear me. So did Eric before I think to myself.

“Yup” Eric says shortly as we get closer to the table. 

“Y/n” Robyn says as she hugs me. “How are you?” she asks before she lets go.

“I’m doing well and you?” I ask taking a seat as far away from Dylan as possible.

“Good thanks” she says. 

“Good to see you again” Erik says and I tell him likewise. 

“Oh my dear Sprinkles, I’ll forever call you that now” Mike says smiling.

“Well I’ve been called worse things, Sprinkles sounds just fine to me.” I smile. Then I can’t avoid Dylan’s gaze any longer.

“Hey what’s up?” Dylan asks looking at me with that unreadable face. 

“Hi Dylan” I say with a small smile. 

“We were just talking prom” Robyn says with a smile “I should be back in time so I’m going to Dylan. A bunch of us are going in a limo. There is still room” she says hinting at Eric. Who looks at me and then at his friends. I look at Eric and wonder what he’s thinking.

“Thanks but no thanks. We’re coming with my car.” he says casually, finally a little emotion on Dylan’s face. He looks surprised. Robyn almost breaks her face smiling.

“You two are coming?” she asks ecstatic.

“Yeah I had a dress lying around” I pretend to be all casual while I roll my eyes.

“We’re dancing” Mike says pointing at me.

“You’ll have to imagine that, I do not dance” I say shaking my head. 

“Oh come on” Mike says pouting.

“I have less rhythm then a snail.” I tell him snickering.

“Then we’ll match perfectly” Mike says cornering me.

“Please stop” Eric says. “She’ll be sitting next to me laughing at you” Eric says with a big smile. Making Robyn laugh. Dylan doesn’t move a muscle.

“Tell you what, Mike. Let’s see how I feel tomorrow.” I say. Making Eric raise his brows “perhaps I’m in the mood to make a complete fool out of myself.” I say shrugging while I look at Eric. 

“Oh this makes me so happy” Robyn says still so happy. “It could be like a sort of double date” she says elbowing Dylan. My heart drops a little at her words. “I mean we’re not on a date date but you know what I mean” she ads as she quickly drops some M&M’s in her mouth. 

“Yeah sort of” Dylan says bleakly, I can see Robyn dying on the inside. 

“Well let’s hope you’re in a mood to wreck your pretty reputation” Mike says laughing. I shake my head. 

Eric looks at Dylan and then back at me. I can feel the tension, so can the others because I see them looking at Dylan and Eric as well. Erik obviously oblivious to what happened asks.

“Did you guys break up or something? You’ve been funky for weeks” he asks Eric and Dylan. They look at each other and it’s Dylan that answers.

“Dude what’s wrong with you?” Dylan asks a little hostile earning him a strange look from Robyn. He notices because he continues a lot less unfriendly. “I’ve been busy with Arizona.” he gives as an explanation for their weird attitude towards each other.

“Eric’s girlfriend got in the way, no offence Sprinkles.” Mike says taking a bite from his sandwich. If only he knew. 

“None taken” I say pretending I didn't. 

“I’ve already picked out a room. Closest to the food man” Dylan says with a smile. Probably hoping to end this conversation. His blond little goatee lighted by the sun coming in. 

“Sounds good dude” Erik says looking at his friend. Today is the first time I really look at Erik, thinking he has no idea what was in store for him had Arlene still been in Eric’s possession. Yesterday when I told Eric about what happened at the agency I had left the part out where they destroyed his guns. 

“I still have some shopping to do for tomorrow” I say looking at Eric and then back at the rest. “So I’ll see you all at prom I guess” and I get up from my seat. 

“You know what. I’m coming with you if you don’t mind” Robyn asks.

“Shouldn’t you stay in school?” I ask her.

“School be damned I need air.” and I look at Dylan and think I have an idea as to why that is. 

“Let’s get you some air then.” I say to her. With us Eric gets up as well. 

“I’ll walk you two outside.” Eric says to us avoiding Dylan’s eyes.

“And people say gallantry is dead” I say while we walk to the door.

“Stop that woman” Eric says smiling and I can’t help but smile back at him. Robyn watches and shakes her head in amusement. 

“You guys are so cute. I’m glad you got your shit together and asked her to prom Eric.” she says popping the last of her M&M’s in her mouth. Eric just looks at me and now takes my hand in his. 

“So am I” he says squeezing my hand. 

“Don’t make me barf though” she continues making me laugh. 

“Oh my sweet, dear and precious baby munchkin” I say hugging Eric. “How will I ever survive without you this afternoon” and I start to sob.

Eric laughs “now you’re making me barf” but he doesn’t let my arms go when I try to break the hug. He gives me a small kiss on my head before we part. 

“I’ll see you later” he says smiling before he walks back to school.

“Not if I see you first” I say loudly. 

“You two, seriously.” Robyn says as we walk to her car. She hasn’t even backed out of her parking spot when she says “I hate Dylan sometimes” 

“Yeah me too” I say trying to boost her up.

“What?” she asks shocked.

“Not really, I was just trying to show you solidarity, you know. Girls against the boys” and Robyn looks at me a little confused “oh my god, I don’t really hate Dylan.” I say a little surprised at her reaction. Robyn bursts out laughing. “Oh you know what now I really hate you.” I say looking out in front of me.

“You should have seen your face” Robyn says as she starts to drive us downtown. We go to that little place we went to after we got everything for Eric’s birthday. As we sit down with our drinks and pie she starts to tell me all about her frustrations surrounding Dylan. 

“Sometimes I wonder where he is with his head. Like we have a conversation about whatever and he just drifts off.” she says putting sugar in her coffee. 

“When you talk about general stuff or specific things?” I ask her.

“Hmm now that I think about it.” she says looking at me with a frown on her face “usually when I talk to him about upcoming things, or life events.” 

“Well have you ever talked to him about it?” I say attacking my pie.

“Dylan, talk? About things other than safe subjects.” she asks me as if I’m crazy. “No he’s more closed off then a block of concrete.” 

“I can’t argue with that but I think, I feel like maybe Dylan’s not all that happy. Do you ever get that feeling?” I ask trying to steer this in a certain direction.

Robyn looks at me and starts to nod “I’ve seen a bottle of saint something worth in his glove compartment once and I thought it was drugs or something so I looked it up. Apparently it helps when you feel a little down or depressed. Is that what you mean?” 

The saint John’s wort, this hits me in the gut so hard. My thoughts wander off to his mothers book. I’m so glad Robyn knows, I can’t tell her anything but I can talk about what she knows. “Do you think he’s depressed?” I ask her.

“I mean he doesn’t look depressed, aren’t depressed people always sad and sulky?” she asks having no idea how stigmatized her view on it is but then again it’s 1999 and we’re still fighting stigmatization back in 2020. 

“Not necessarily. I’m no expert but from what I’ve heard depression doesn’t just have one face. In high school we had a short course about it. Some people are sulky and sad, others appear happy and joyful but feel incredible desolate regardless. And sometimes people just don’t know how to take good care of themselves or seem distant and absentminded. That’s why depression is so scary, there’s no solid base to go off of.” I tell her in the hopes she recognises some things in Dylan. She’s poking her pie with her vork and seems to be thinking. 

“I never knew that. Maybe he is depressed but I mean it wouldn’t be that bad right. He’s going to prom and is so busy with college. He seems okay” she says but her voice doesn’t sound too sure of what she’s saying.

“I don’t know Dylan like you do. All I know is that he seems very closed off. Did you see the tension between him and Eric. Maybe they had a fall out” I suggest to keep her thinking.

“Eh they’ve been weird for months. Maybe the end of school is what’s triggering it all” she says making me choke on my drink. “Oh shit are you okay?” she asks as I start to cough my lungs out.

“Yeah. Fine.” I say trying to catch my breath “just trying to drink with my lungs” and I try to smile.

“Lungs don’t drink” she says with a chuckle now that I’m starting to breath properly. “You’re right, maybe I’ll talk to Dylan see what’s up.” I give her two thumbs up before I attempt to take another sip. 

“You do that” I say after I’ve scraped my throat. “Just do not tell him we talked about it, I think that’ll set him off.” 

“Are you crazy? I’d never say that. Dylan is too private to be able to handle people caring about him and thus talking about him.” 

“I think you just described him perfectly.” I say with a smile. She smiles back.

“Doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t like me the way I like him.” and she sighs loudly “ugh feelings suck” 

“I’ll raise my mug to that” I say holding up my coffee. She does the same and we cheers to feelings that suck. “I’m sorry though, that you feel like he doesn’t like you back.” I say while charging at my pie again. “But I think you’d make a great couple with Mike” I add. Earning me a comical reaction from Robyn.

“Uuuuuuuuuhm I don’t think so. I’m not that desperate.” she says taking a sip.

“He is tiring but you have to admit, he’s incredible funny and sweet. With the sprinkles he brought. That’s quality stuff.” I say looking at her.

“True” she says thinking about my words “but then there is the rest of his character” she says making me smile.

“Alright alright, I see your point” I say ending this conversation. When we’re ready to leave, Robyn pays for our food, I thank her and we head over to some shops. We chatter about all sort of things, boys in general, school being almost over and several other things. When we find a drug store I go in to get some new shampoo amongst other things and we meet outside again because Robyn entered another shop for things for her trip. Robyn decides to go home so she drops me off at my motel. 

“Well I will see you tomorrow, in your stunning dress, with your perfect hair” I say smiling at Robyn.

“How would you know, maybe I’ll look like crap” she says with a small smile. I need to watch myself, I’m getting careless. 

“Don’t even say that, you’re gonna look amazing. I’m so sure.” I tell her opening my door. “Be safe and come back in one piece.” I say closing the door behind me. She waves at me and drives off. I’m hoping she’ll think about our conversation and sees if she can get through to Dylan. I’m thinking my private conversations with Dylan are in the past. But then again, I’ve thought so once before. I'm putting the things I bought in the places they belong. When I’m done I take the prom dress from where I placed it and try it on again. It fits well, a little too tight at the waist and bust area but I don’t really mind. It still fits good enough it doesn’t look tacky, besides I had too little time to find a dress that would fit better. I take it off again and put it on a hanger and hang it the bathroom. I’ll steam it tomorrow to make the fabric a little smoother. Looking at it hangin tall like that I really do love it. If I’ll love prom I’m not so sure but it is the all American experience. I sigh loudly at the thought of so many people together. I close the door behind me and decide to go get a soda. The weather is still lovely today. I sit down on the small stairs before my room and start to drink. I’m almost done with my drink when Eric shows up. He’s early and there is a smile on his face. He parks the car and comes towards me.

“Hey stranger” I say smiling at him.

“Hi there beautiful” he says as he comes to sit eyeing me over. He kisses my cheek flighty and inhales deeply. “Do you wanna go to the cinema? See a movie together, share popcorn all that stuff” he says with a big smile. 

“You’re in a cheerful mood” I say smiling at him. 

“Yes I am. Today was a lot better than I anticipated and it got me in a good mood.” he chuckles “enjoy it while it lasts” making me laugh. 

“Don’t say that. You’re more fun to be around than you give yourself credit for” 

Eric looks at me and shakes his head. “So want to catch a movie? he asks eventually.

“Sure why not?” I say getting up “hey wait is this a date date?” 

“I want to say of course but you’re having me doubt myself now” Eric says a little confused.

“I’m sorry I was just, you know. Never mind.” I say getting in my room. Eric follows me in. 

“Why the question?” Eric asks a little insecure.

“Nothing I just thought if it was a date I’d want to doll up a bit but it doesn’t really matter because I’ll do so tomorrow so it can wait” I say looking at him.

“Doll up? I don’t think you can get any prettier” and he chuckles softly “but I’ll guess we’ll know if I’m right tomorrow” 

I nod and take a vest out of my drawer. “Yes we will” I say thinking about my dress.

I grab my keys and walk out of the room with Eric right behind me. Eric is still in a very cheerful mood as we sit in the car and it’s infectious. I start to trace his nose with my finger and he gives me side-eye but a small smile appears at the same time. 

“Oh you’re in that kinda mood” Eric says looking straight ahead of him. 

“Perhaps.” I say with a smile as I start to draw something on his cheek with my finger. He shakes his head but the sides of his mouth go up as I do so. “Boop boop” I say poking his nose, he rolls his eyes. “You’re so handsome” I say dreamily. “Hey did you find a burgundy tie?” I ask him.

“No it will be a black tie. Is that okay? he asks looking at me while we stop before a red light. 

“Let's go see if we can find you one.” I say getting really excited at the thought of shopping with him. 

“You want to go buy a tie now? What about the movie?” he asks still looking at me.

“Let’s go to the movies another time and see if we can find you a tie to match my dress. Please?” I ask with a pout and a tilt of my head. Eric inhales deeply then within a split second he comes up to kiss me. 

“You stop looking at me like that and you got yourself a deal.” he says getting back in his seat. A big devilish smile appears on my face. “Oh no what have I done, going shopping with you.” he lets out a semi annoyed, semi amused sigh.

“Oh this is gonna be so much fun. Going shopping with short fuse Harris.” I say smiling with my tongue between my teeth.

“Don’t call me that. You’re kinda mean, Mike is right” he says while we drive onto our new destination.

“I’m insulted, you agree with Mike?” I say with my mouth wide open. He starts to laugh and we go on our way to get him a tie.

When we walk towards the shops we want to go to Eric places his arm around my waist and pulls me close next to him, kissing my head every now and then. The weather is great and for now we just feel like a normal couple walking on their way to get the last thing we need for prom. We look into some windows of shops where they sell ties but they’re all pricy. Eric says he knows a place where they might have them cheaper. Walking over there I see Eric looking around him a little more than usual. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask him.

“What why?” he asks as he smiles at me.

“You look a little on guard, that’s all.” I tell him. Eric thinks for a minute then pulls me closer. 

“It’s just a little different. Walking here now with the plans changed the way they did. I guess I just feel a little strange.” he explains “but I’m having fun with you I promise you that.” he adds quickly. I place my arm around him as well and give him a kiss on his cheek.

“I understand, it must feel pretty surreal seeing you had a whole different idea of this weekend” I say to him.

“You can say that again. The whole situation with Dylan is driving me nuts. I don’t know where that’s going and I hate that.” he says pointing to the shop we need to go to. 

“I can only imagine, you two have been so close for so long. You must miss him” I say watching his face for a reaction. 

He looks a bit angry but he cannot deny there is truth in what I said “I guess but it’s better now. I feel a lot better” and he smiles at me. “Let’s go find that tie for tomorrow” I follow his lead inside and he brings us to a section with ties. There are a lot of colors and I watch Eric look them over. There is one slim model that’s burgundy, Eric passes it with his eyes but says nothing. I smile and wonder if he knows what the color burgundy looks like.

“Eric what does burgundy look like?” I see that lopsided smirk and he shakes his head.

“I’m thinking it’s something purple or red but I have no clue to be honest” he says making me chuckle. I pick up the one burgundy tie and hold it up underneath his chin. 

“Looks really good on you” I say looking at the price “it’s 8 dollars, not bad.” 

“That much for a single stroke of fabric?” he says taking it from my hands. 

“Eric I have underwear with less fabric twice that price” I say with a brow raised. He looks at me and lick his lips.

“Well you’ll have to model that for me. See if the price was worth it.” he chuckles but I see that look in his eyes. I get closer to his ear and whisper.

“Maybe I’ll just wear the tie instead. Only the tie, maybe then it’s worth your money” I feel Eric tense up at my words. He looks at me and this time he’s the one whispering.

“I’ll eat you alive if you do that woman” and he takes the tie from my hand to go pay for it, leaving me standing there just a tad heated and startled at his bluntness. 

The guy behind the register asks Eric if he wants a bag with it and Eric scoffs. “This fits in my back pocket” he tells him and he shoves the tie in his pocket. Making me laugh at how he couldn’t care less. “Come on let’s go” he says extending his hand for me to take. We walk out of the store and I start to laugh.

“Did you see his face? Poor guy.” I say to Eric.

“Poor guy? He wants to put that tiny tie in a big bag, that’s ridiculous.” Eric says.

“When I was in Pisa I bought a tote bag for my sister with the Mona Lisa doing the dab on it and the guy asked if I wanted a bag and then he started to laugh saying how he wants to give me a bag for the bag so I can put it in the bag I’m already holding. He thought it was so funny. I laughed so hard at his reaction.” I say smiling.

Eric shakes his head, slightly amused “what is doing the dab?” Eric asks and I instantly do the dab. “Are you okay?” Eric asks looking at me with his brows raised. 

“That is the dab” and I repeat what I did only slower.

“And what’s the purpose of it or is it dancing?” Eric asks not appreciating my dab.

“Absolutely nothing but everybody did it. You’ll find 2020 is a time where hardly anything really matters and we live from one worthless rage to the other” and I furrow my brows “damn that really does sum my time up.” 

“Great I can’t wait” Eric says sarcastically making us both laugh.

“I mean there are some great things but I can’t think of one for the life of me.” making Eric laugh really hard. I furrow my brows a bit upset that I can’t think of anything. I shake my head and see the sunlight fall in through the window. “Can we get ice cream? The weather is too perfect.” I catch him looking at me a little dreamy. “My treat since you’ve gone broke on that tie” he places his hand just above my butt and smiles.

“I think I can afford some ice cream but then it’s over.” 

“I can just sell my body for rent baby don’t worry.” I say dead serious.

“Can you stop, you’re freaking me out with the way you think” he says frowning. 

I blow him a kiss and we get on our way to get some ice cream. We have a fun and mellow afternoon together and I can feel myself getting more nervous for tomorrow. Going to prom with him, the dress and everything around it with Dylan and Robyn is not helping. We end up in my motel to watch a movie together. Around dinner time we get some food to eat in my room and we end up all curled up on the bed watching two more movies. That is until Eric’s eyes find the bag that was still under the desk. I follow his eyes and sit up straight when I see what it is he’s fixated on. Looking at the clock it’s already after 11. Eric looks back at me and without having to say it out loud we get up from the bed and walk over to the bag. Eric picks it up. 

“We should take care of this right now” he says looking very serious. “I know just the place to do so.”

“Okay, if you’re sure you want to do it now” I ask him.

“I want it gone” he says resolutely. I nod and start getting ready to go outside. Eric does the same and before long we’re ready to destroy the last of what Eric has about the plans he kept so well hidden from everyone. We step outside and the cold air sends chills over my spine. Getting into the car together Eric looks at me and I can see he’s determined to get rid of this all but his eyes give away that it’s not easy. First he drives us to a late night store and buys lighter fluid. I watch him carefully as he drives us to Blackjack.

“You want to burn it behind Blackjack” I state as he parks the car.

“Yes. I’ll end it where it began” he says taking the keys out of the ignition. 

I feel a pit form in my stomach at his words.  _ Where it began. _ In silence we walk behind the empty building giving it a scary vibe or maybe that’s just because of what we came to do here. He’s holding my hand very tight like he did that night on the bridge. Eric then lets go of my hand and walks over to get something that looks like it already held quite a lot of fires. It looks like a high bin. He opens the bag and I see he’s struggling when he looks at the content. I walk up to him and place my hand on his back. He needs to do this, he needs to end it himself. He looks at me with sorrowful eyes.

“You must have been so upset to find out that such a horrible guy was supposed to be your soulmate” he says to me, breaking my heart in so many pieces I lose count. 

“Eric” I say to him but I lack the ability to keep talking because he’s right, that was the first thing I felt.

“It’s okay I understand, how could you not have. Look at this” and he takes a handful of papers out of the bag. Journal pages and map drawings of the commons. His hand is starting to shake. 

“What I first felt is nothing in comparison to what I feel today.” I say placing my hand over his. “Who you are will not be defined by a painful legacy. You chose this, you chose to not do this. I couldn’t be more proud to stand here next to you Eric. I promise you that is the truth, my truth. As soon as you light this beautiful fire this all belongs to your past and you will be free.” I tell him “and I’m not going anywhere.” His breathing is heavy and he nods before he opens his hand above the bin. It doesn’t take him long to empty the whole bag. I see snippets of papers that I’ve stared at for so long, these are the originals. It’s making it difficult to breath and I have to really focus on my breathing in order not to panic. Eric then takes the lighter fluid and tells me to back up. I do so and he squirts it all over the papers. A couple of papers still in his hand. He puts away the fluids and takes his zippo lighter out of his right bdu pants pocket. Looking at me one last time before he lights the papers in his hand and without a second thought throws it in the bin. In mere seconds it makes a big flame. Eric and I both walk backwards. I take his hand in mine and for a while we just watch it all burn. The first to speak is Eric.

“I have this feeling you already know that I got rejected for the marines.” he says with his eyes on the fire.

“Yes I did.” and I look at him “are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It sucks but in a way I’m glad.” he says finally accepting my eyes with his. 

“Really?” I ask a little sceptical.

“The army always felt like the right way because it’s what my dad did.” he tells me while he guides me back so we can sit next to each other. “But it’s not me. I want to do something else, maybe something with computers or game developer I don’t. I just know I don’t want to be in the marines.” his eyes are set on the fire again. I see the reflection of the fire in them and I feel very emotional. Placing my head on his shoulder I feel him letting go of my hand to place his arm around me. “Thank you for being here with me.” he says softly. I look at him and see his lips coming closer to mine and I greet them with love. We sit there for what feels like hours before we get up and Eric brings me back to my motel room. 

I need to process everything on my own and I feel like Eric needs to do the same. “Eric, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m going to sleep in for a year and see you when you pick me up for prom is that okay?” 

He looks a little disappointed. “Yeah sure it is. Do you want to have dinner together or meet after dinner?” he asks.

“What do you prefer, it’s your prom night” I ask him.

“My prom night” Eric says with a little mock in his tone “I don’t mind at all. Let’s have dinner at my place and you can get ready there? I know my mom is dying to see you again now that I’ve called you my girlfriend around her. And then she can do the whole picture moment she really wanted to do.” he says stepping towards me.  _ He called me his girlfriend. _

“Hmm how about I’ll be at your place around 9? I can’t disappoint your sweet mom” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands go up to my back and he licks his lips.

“Sounds perfect to me” his lips find mine the second after he said it. “I will see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams baby.” he says before kissing me shortly. He walks back to his car with a self assured smile on his face. I go back in my room and hear him start his car when I close the door behind me. I lean back against the door and breath out loudly. I’m so crazy about him, I’m even looking forward to get into that dress and walk down the stairs. I fall a sleep imagining what his face will look like. 

I woke up incredible motivated and when the clock hit 8:45 I couldn’t wait any longer. My bag with the dress and everything else that I need to get ready was already packed at 12:30. Driving over to Eric I feel all chirpy and happy to meet up with his family again. When I pull up to the driveway I look at the blue house that haunted my dreams and made my lungs feel heavy in previous times. Now it makes me feel relieved, delighted and incredible happy. Eric was out, Eric was free and he was with me. I grab the bag from the passenger seat and get out of the rental. Knocking on the door it doesn’t take long for a familiar happy face to open it.

“Hey stranger” Eric says with a wide smile.

“Hi liefje” I say smiling and I walk up to kiss him fondly. When I break the kiss I see a huge smile on his face. Eric closes the door behind me and takes the bag from my hands. “No peeking.” I say smiling. 

“I won’t, just going to place this in my parents bedroom so you can get ready there. My parents said they’d be home at 10 for pictures and stuff.” he says before walking up the stairs. When he comes back he has a grin on his face.

“Did you peek?” I ask biting my bottom lip. He starts to laugh.

“No but your face was priceless.” he says looking so causal in a white t-shirt and jeans, no shoes on. “My mom made us dinner and I’m starving. I’m heating everything up” he says getting into the kitchen.

“Yeah you go to the kitchen where you belong boy” I yell from the couch. I hear something drop on the counter and not long after Eric comes back with his brows raised to dangerously high levels. 

“I think you’ve gone mad” he says walking up to me with predatory eyes. I get up from the couch and lick my lips.

“Why are you here, your place is there” I say pointing at the kitchen. He shakes his head and a smirk forms. He walks up to me, slowly and raises his arms to hold them like he’s about to catch me. I step backwards and keep walking, Eric’s eyes never leaving me. “Eric, easy now” I say as if I’m talking to a dangerous hound.

“Oh you’re going down.” he says speeding up and I keep walking backwards but hit a wall not long after.

“No stupid wall” I squeal as Eric locks me between the wall and his body. 

“Yeah stupid wall, that’s what you get” and he starts to tickle me along my sides making me squirm in his arms. 

“No I hate tickling, stop right now Harris” I say feeling like a lovestruck teenager as he smiles while his fingers attack my ribs. 

“Ask for mercy” he says clearly enjoying this sense of power. 

“Mercy yes have mercy on me” I say quickly. Eric a little stunned I gave in that easy stops and the smile fell off of his face.

“Oh I didn't expect that” he chuckles as he places his hands on my waist with a whole other feeling to it. 

“Yes well I really do hate tickling, I can’t stand it.” I say before wrapping my arms around his neck. “I like this a lot better” I say before kissing him again. He kisses me back eagerly and instantly presses me against the wall. I feel my core burning and press myself into him. Then we hear the front door open and we break apart faster than light travels. Looking at each other, Eric takes my hand and drags me to the couch. We sit there pretending we’ve never kissed before when we see his parents walk in. His mother comes in with her coat still on and she has the sweetest smile on her face. Followed closely by his dad. They greet us from a far and take off their coats. They walk in and his mom comes up to me straight away and I get up to greet her in the middle of the living room. 

“Hello dear, how lovely to see you again” she says giving me a sweet hug.

“Hi mrs Harris, congratulations on your wedding anniversary” I say giving in to the hug.

“Thank you dear, we’re early but I just wanted to see you two get ready” she says with a sweet and kind smile. Then his father walks up to me with an extended hand.

“Congratulations to you too, sir” I say while I shake his hand. He places his other hand over mine.

“Thank you kindly. How are you?” he says with a welcoming look. 

“I am doing very well, sir. I’m very curious about prom. We don’t have that where I’m from. It will be a whole experience.” I say smiling. His mother comes standing besides me.

“Well I’m so glad you wanted to get ready here, that way I can make lots of pictures and you can send some to your parents through airmail” his mom says so sweetly. I look at her and feel a lump form in my throat. Eric looks at me with an empathic look. 

“I’m happy you’ll have me here. It’s nice to be in a family when my own is so far away.” I say with a little smile and eyes that well up. I lick my lips and take a deep breath. “Actually Eric placed my bag in your room, could I maybe hang up my dress? I steamed it to get out the creased and I hope that’s still visible after being the bag.” I say to her. She places her hand on my shoulder.

“Of course dear, you can do that in my bedroom. I’ll show you where it is. It has the biggest mirror of the house.” she says with a smile as we walk up the stairs together. She opens a door and shows me her bedroom. It’s decent and a little old fashioned. The bag is placed on the bed. I take out the dress that’s on a hanger. 

“Oh that is a wonderful dress. You’re going to look radiant.” Kathy says as she walks up to me and looks at the dress up close “what a classy dress.” she says with a smile and red cheeks. “Eric is a very lucky guy” she tells me. 

“Mrs Harris, Eric is rough around the edges but with a good and big heart. He’s a sweetheart. I feel lucky to.” I say as I give her the dress so she can spread it over the bed. 

“Yes he is but I think you’ll need to have patience with him sometimes.” she says serious. 

“I will. Eric told me he’s sure you and his dad are soulmates.” I tell her feeling a little guilty that I know more about it then she thinks I do. “I hope Eric is mine” I say to her and she turns around and I can see her eyes light up. 

“Alright, you’re going to make me cry.” she says before scraping her throat. “Let's go back downstairs so I can warm up dinner for you two.” she says with tear filled eyes. I look at her and think about my mom, they look nothing alike. My mom was tall and had long hair with a sanguineous heart, one that she could not keep up with. They are both however as kind as a mother can be with the loveliest of smiles. 

I walk up to her and say “thank you, for everything”. She rubs my arm and after that we go back downstairs. Eric is in the kitchen drinking some water. He keeps drinking as he watches me walk down the stairs. He looks relaxed and happy. 

“I’ll go get dinner for you two ready so you can eat something” she says walking over to her son. She lovingly places her hand on his cheek. I see him looking at her, it’s clear how much he cares about his mom. I walk over to Eric and he smiles his lopsided smile for me as he meets me halfway..

“You look stunning and the dress” he says pretending to struggle to breath. I roll my eyes and smile at him.

“Just wait, you might be surprised” I say laughing. 

“I bet so” he says taking my hand while we walk to the dinner table. His mom, kind as she is brings us our food and together we eat before we get ready for prom. 


	24. Prom night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful people, another chapter, get ready for prom! The note at the end is the hairstyle I had in mind for the reader.
> 
> As always let me know what you think :) I hope you'll enjoy this!

“Oh come on” Eric almost screams out as we walk with our plates to the kitchen. “You can’t be serious” he ads.

Laughing I answer “no I swear and these books where the biggest hit, not to mention the movies.” 

“But he sparkles in the sun” Eric says with big and mortified eyes “vampires don’t sparkle, that writer was on some serious drugs” he says placing our plates in the sink. 

“Usually they don’t but these do. Oh and did I mention the vampire gets his wife pregnant when she’s still human” I’m so amused at Eric’s reactions.

“You’re lying now, I just know it. Everything you told me is one big lsd trip” Eric says while he’s starting to do the dishes. I take the tea cloth of the sink and stand besides him. 

“What is one big lsd trip?” we hear his father ask as he joins us in the kitchen with a worried face. I turn to face Eric and my eyes turn big.

“Sir I was talking about a book that has sparkling vampires and werewolves falling in love with unborn vampire children” I say trying not to laugh. Wayne looks at me in shock.

“Well” he says placing his hands on his hips. I look at his demeanor and Eric really is his dads clone when it comes to his posture. “At least it’s a book and not a personal story.” he says raising his brows before he turns around with a red face. I turn to face Eric and mouth the word sorry to him. He just shakes his head. We keep talking about sparkling vampires while we do the dishes before we go get ready for prom.

“Can I go up to get ready?” I ask his mom while I walk to the stairs. 

“Yes of course, call for me when you need anything” she says with a smile.

“I will thank you. Oh and Eric” I say turning to him “I’ll be the one in the dress just so you know” I smile and make my way up to his parents bedroom. 

“She’s even more tiring than me” I hear Eric say to his parents. Getting into their room I see the dress all ready on the bed and my bag on the floor. First I take out everything for my makeup. I hardly wear any but I’ll put some mascara, eyeliner and lipgloss on just for the effect. I bought some of the thick see through lipgloss because what is more 90s. I sit in front of the mirror and start to put on my makeup. It doesn’t take me more then 10 minutes and it only takes that long because eyeliner is not my forte. When I feel satisfied I start on my hair, I’ve decided to do a more fancy version of the braid and bun hairdo I usually go for. I brush my hair and make a fishtail and french braid underneath each other on the left side of my head. The bottom one is loosely braided and I make sure the one just above it is slightly tighter. I braid the whole length of my hair and leave them hanging on the side of my face before I start to brush up some volume in my hair to create a big bun in which I incorporate the braids. I’ve bought some black pins with tiny open black flowers on them and place them in the bun. Looking at myself in the mirror I start to feel a little awkward and uncomfortable as I always do when I doll up. It always feels ridiculous until people tell me they like how I look. I see my mom in me and I get a little overwhelmed by the feeling that she never made it back. I’ve been angry at her for so long but being around Eric, I’ve only been sad when I think about her. I’d die if Eric had rejected me. Making me understand what she must have felt. There is a radio clock on one of the nightstands and it’s 10 already. I swallow my sadness but the lump remains as I get up to put the dress on. It’s a no bra dress so I feel extremely exposed in this unfamiliar bedroom as I get in the dress. I exhale a breath from deep within as I look at myself in the mirror, stepping in my low converse I can’t help but smile at how ridiculous this would have looked if the dress didn't cover them. Unfortunately I can’t zip the dress up completely on my own so I will have to call for his mother. Walking in the dress feels just a little weird. I open the door slightly and stick my head out.

“Mrs Harris?” I call out.

“Yes dear do you need anything?” she calls up.

“Yes please could you come help me with something?” I ask feeling so embarrassed. 

“We’ve talked about this remember, the dress goes over your head” Eric calls out and I hear his father chuckle. 

“You stop that” I hear his mom say as she walks up the stairs. I open the door for her and when she sees me she tilts her head and her chest swells up. “Oh y/n you look absolutely wonderful.” she says placing her hands before her mouth. “You’re gorgeous” and she walks in with a radiant smile on her face.

“I’m so nervous” I blurt out. She walks up to me and places her hands on my arms. 

“Don’t be honey, you two will have an amazing night. I’m sure of it.” and she walks to the side and looks at my profile. “And your hair, can’t believe you did that yourself.” and she lets a finger run over the braids.

“My mom used to always braid my hair. I’d sit on a kitchen table and she’d walk around me doing my hair in the most amazing braids and other styles. Her fingers were able to create magic, but real magic you know” I say with a chuckle, Kathy listens closely to what I tell her. 

“After she.” but after all these years I still struggle to say it out loud. “Well I chose the braided bun she always had in her hair as my own personal style. I figured for tonight I’d make a fancy version” I say smiling at his mom. 

“Your mother would be so proud of you” she says holding my face in her hands, I avoid her eyes. “I’m assuming you need help with the zipper?”. I nod yes. I turn around so she can pull the zipper all the way up for me. “All done.” she says walking to the door. “Well let's not keep the boys waiting” she says referring to her husband and son. “I’ll go down to make pictures and then you can come and make my son feel like the happiest boy in the world.” she says with those kind eyes of her. 

“Okay, thank you. Again for everything” I say feeling so nervous to see Eric’s face. She smiles and walks down the stairs.

“Get ready Eric” I hear her tell him. “We’re ready when you are” she calls up and I feel my heart getting ready to jump out of my chest. I let out a long breath before walking to the top of the stairs. When I get there I see Eric waiting at the bottom of the stairs, staring at me. He’s wearing a black, clean cut tux with his burgundy tie. He looks so handsome as he stands there looking at me with his mouth open just a little. His hand goes up and he places it on his chest. His mouth opens again and this time he does form a word.

“Geeze” he says breathlessly as he keeps looking at me. I let out a nervous chuckle and I have to pull my dress up a bit so I don’t trip over it. Eric doesn’t even notice the shoes. His mom does and she chuckles. 

“Not too bad huh for a grandmother” I say having to break this tension. Eric’s lips curl up in a smile and his parents laugh.

“I don’t have words. I’m speechless.” he says with a small chuckle. It felt like it took me forever to finish the steps down but when I do I smile wide and look at Eric. 

“You look absolutely amazing, you’re so handsome” I tell him placing my hand on his chest. He just looks at me, still stunned. His mom happily taking pictures.

“I’m in awe” is what he says. This makes me smile even wider and I shake my head no.

“Stop that Harris” I say smiling.

“She calls him Harris” his father says to his mother with a chuckle. Eric and I turn to look at them and his dad´s cheeks get a little red. “I think that’s nice” he says a little uncomfortable. This makes us all laugh.

“Alright, I have pictures on the stairs.” his mom says snapping another picture of us standing together. “Can you two look at each other please” she asks. We comply and she takes another picture while I lose myself in his eyes. I see him take a deep breath before he says.

“You have stars in your eyes and moonbeams in your smile did you know that” and he kisses my cheek completely lovestruck. 

“And I don’t even have red hair” I say letting him know I’ve read these words before. He smiles and looks down shaking his head.

“Of course you know. It doesn’t matter because it only applies to you.” he says making my heart flutter.

“I swear Harris if you turn romantic on me right now I’m running away” I say with a smile making everyone laugh. 

“Alright lovebirds let me get a couple more pictures and you’re free to go and enjoy your evening.” his mother says before she directs us for at least 7 more pictures. We happily do as she asks and then I go put my coat on while Eric’s dad pulls him into the kitchen. I put on my coat as silent as I can to try and overhear their conversation. It doesn’t work I can’t hear anything but when Eric gets out of the kitchen with red ears I can imagine what has been said. 

“Let’s go.” Eric says in a hurry to go. His parents greet me and I thank them for everything. Walking to the car I lift my dress up again and this time Eric notices. “You’re absolutely perfect” he says laughing as he looks at my shoes. 

“I know” I say cocky making him laugh. It’s a bit of a hassle getting in with the dress but I manage. Eric drives off and I wave at his mother who’s standing in the door waving at us. Just around the corner Eric stops the car.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. He looks at me and pulls my head in for a kiss. His lips open mine and he lets himself get carried away in a passionate kiss. His bottom lip in between mine before he breaks it. Leaving me with red cheeks wanting more.

“You look so amazing and your hair is so.” he licks his lips “God you’re gorgeous.” he says all excited. I look at him and can’t imagine it’s only been two days since he made up his mind. It feels like weeks. 

“Drive us to prom will you and stop talking crazy.” I say and he looks at me with big eyes but says nothing. He starts the car and he drives us to prom. When we arrive at our destination I feel panic in my chest when I see all the cars and dresses and loud boys. I place my hand on my cheek. Eric looks at me and takes my hand.

“Are you ready princess?” he asks and I glare at him. 

“Absolutely not. You’re not calling me that Harris.” I say unamused with his choice of words.

“You’re ready” he says with a smirk. We get out of the car and make our way to the crowded entrance. I hold onto his hand like my life depends on it and it amuses him to no end. “Are you alright?” he asks with a smile.

“Yes, I’m fine. Why?” I ask him looking around nervously.

“Because you’re breaking my hand” he says laughing when I look at his hand and see the tips of his fingers turned completely white at how hard I’m holding on to him.

“Oh sorry” I chuckle “I might be a bit nervous” 

“Why you’re going to be the most gorgeous woman in there, in fact probably the only woman” he says complimenting me but making it worse.

“Yeah thanks, I know I’m about to be the oldest person in there except for the poor teachers stuck with being babysitters at prom.” I say looking at Eric who raises a brow.

“Are you calling me a baby?” he asks smiling.

“Of course.” I say and he licks his lips “my baby” I add for a laugh.

“Yeah nice try, I ain’t falling for that” but he puts his arm around me as we approach the door. Entering the building it strikes me how much effort is put into these decorations. Everything is Vegas. There are signs everywhere as we make our way to the prime location. There’s a line for a photographer and I hate the idea of standing in it. I look at Eric to see he’s looking quite happy. He guides me to the line and I decide to take one for the team and swallow my disliking for this picture idea. 

“Do you see anyone you recognise?” I ask Eric. 

“Nobody too interesting.” he says and I know who he’s looking for. I lean in and say in a hushed tone.

“If their timeline is unchanged so far they’re already here” I say to Eric. His head jerks to the right to look at me. 

“That still creeps me out.” he tells me seriously.

“Yeah I know and your reaction is still hilarious to me” I say before I kiss his cheek. Six more couples before us. 

“Watch out I’m about to call you sprinkles” Eric jokes as he wraps his arms around me. I laugh and let my head gently rest on his shoulder. We watch the couples take that representative prom picture. 

“Are we doing that?” I ask him pointing at the couple taking a picture where the guy stands behind her with his arms around her and her hands on his.

“I was about to ask you, please tell me we can do it differently.” he says looking at me and I feel my eyebrow raise and I turn around to give him a kiss.

“That’s why I love you, lets pull silly faces or something” and I do a silly dance to match the face I’m pulling “oh no I know, let's do devil horns” and I place my hand on my forehead with the pointer finger and pinky upwards. Eric is shaking his head yes.

“Have I told you, you’re perfect already?” he says letting me go so we can walk to the stand. 

“Yes but by all means, say it again” I say as we take place. Eric stands behind me like the other boys did with their dates and we both place our hand in front of our forehead and make the devil horns. I stick out my tongue as well. The photographer starts to laugh and says.

“There’s always a couple that hates their parents” 

I look at Eric and we too start to laugh before we make our way into the decorated room. The decorations do not disappoint. Vegas and then some more Vegas. The vibe is good and I see everyone around me already having a good time. It’s infectious. Eric squeezes my hand as we walk towards where the tables are placed. Like always Mike spots me within seconds and when he walks up to us his mouth is open so wide it’s a little grotesk. 

“Are you okay Mike?” I ask him going over the music as much as I can. Mike points at me and looks at Eric. 

“I know man” Eric says without shame making me roll my eyes.

“Marie mother of god.” Mike says and I can’t help but laugh. “You look so hot” he ads making it weird. 

“Mike, behave” I say laughing but he takes my hand and starts to walk to the tables where the whole group and more people I haven’t met yet are waiting. Eric walks besides me looking at Mike’s hand and he’s not amused. Robyn sees me and gets up.

“Y/n my god you look phenomenal” she says as she hugs me.

“You made it, yay. I knew you would. You look absolutely stunning, Robyn” I say holding her hands that are gracefully shrouded in pretty gloves. I see Dylan sitting in his gorgeous tuxedo, hair in a ponytail and a smile on his face. Even when our eyes meet he smiles. Eric is greeting everyone and then he introduces me to faces I already know but haven’t met before.

“Y/n this is Devon and her boyfriend Zack” they both smile at me.

“Hi I’m Devon it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you” she says smiling. 

“Oh no, I’m afraid it’s probably all true” I tell her with a small smile. Then I shake hands with Zack. I look at him and all I can think is how  _ Zack was the only one of their friends that attended Dylan’s funeral.  _ “Hey Zack, how are you?” I manage to squeeze out. 

“I’m good, can’t believe Eric took you off the market” he says jokingly. 

“Ha. Yeah can you believe that, he just picked me up at a thrift store in a rack that said ‘future girlfriend’.” I say making Dylan’s eyes twice their size and Eric just closes his.

“She was the last one left, 50% off so I thought what the hell.” Eric says to Zack. Then Dylan gets up and does the unexpected, he comes towards me. Towers over me and gives me a short hug. I’m absolutely flabbergasted and if there had been even a breath of wind I would have been knocked over. 

“Hey what’s up. Good to see you again.” he says and then he looks at Eric. “Hey dude, never imagined I’d see you in a suit.” and he chuckles. I look up at him still unable to move. 

“Yeah there wasn’t much time so this had to do” he says and forces a smile looking at Dylan. Who just smiles back. We all sit down on the chairs and then Robyn gets very excited when she pulls out a bag she brought with.

“Okay you guys so I got inspired by someone to do this.” Robyn says looking at me. I furrow my brows and point at myself. “Yes you, I just had to do this.” and she opens the bag and pulls out a disposable camera. 

“Oh hell yes” Mike says taking the one from her hand. “Girls do your thing” he says looking at us one at a time. I feel Eric’s arm go around me, definitely marking territory. That’s when the evening really gets started. We have so much fun together. At one point Dylan sparks a camera flash war and we’re all in it. We see Devon and Zack leave for the dance floor and not too long after Dylan and Robyn follow as well. I’m sitting next to Eric who's talking to Mike, asking him whether he thinks vampires can sparkle.

“Dude the day vampires start to sparkle in books or movies is the day I’ll eat dogshit. The world cannot deteriorate like that.” he says taking a gulp from a slightly spiked drink. I’m sitting there looking at Eric having the time of his life in this conversation. 

“I’m going to hold you to that” Eric tells Mike while he winks at me. 

Mike gets up and extends his hand towards me “it’s time my sprinkle” and I can’t help but laugh. Eric shakes his head with a small smile on his face but with serious eyes. “Come on asshole let me dance with her, I’m not the one going home with her” Mike says when he sees Eric’s face and he begins to shake his hand in front of my face. 

“Okay let's go, who the hell cares what kind of rhythm I have.” I say loudly making Mike do a weird jumping dance. “We’re not doing that” I say with a threatening face. Mike laughs and takes my hand. 

“Satan is delighted at the two of you coming together” Mike says to Eric as he drags me to the dancefloor. I kiss the air in Eric’s direction who looks at me with fond eyes as I go on an adventure with his friend. “Coming through, me and the most beautiful girl in the world” Mike yells embarrassing me. A guy turns his head and makes an obscene gesture. Mike isn’t having it. “Back off, that’s my wife” I’m roaring with laughter while I hold his hand. Finally on the dance floor I look back at Eric who's now standing next to the dancefloor with his hands in his pockets. He looks so dapper and happy it makes me glow on the inside and outside. Mike and I start to dance or at least attempt to and we’re laughing through it all. I have no idea what song it is, I couldn’t even tell what genre it was because I was completely lost in the moment. The dance, Mike, Eric looking and laughing at us. It was sheer perfection. At one point I see a pretty brunette standing next to him and they seem to be having a fun conversation because they’re starting to throw fake punches. “I’m having so much fun” Mike yells at me while he turns me as if he knows what he’s doing.

“Me too Mike, me too.” I say before giving him a hug, he hugs me back before he starts to twist his limbs so weird I feel like I have to take cover. That’s my cue to walk back to Eric and when he sees me coming a big smile appears on his face. I throw my arms around his neck and say “hey handsome” just a tad out of breath.

“Hi baby. That was painful to watch at times” he says laughing.

“Well it was insanely funny. Did you see the stroke he had at the end?” I ask smiling.

“Stroke” he says laughing “that was exactly what it looked like. Oh yeah by the way Kim told me to tell you that she adores your dress” he says with a smile while his hands wrap themselves around my waist. 

“Did she now, well that’s awfully kind of her” I say to him thinking it really was the Kim I thought it was. 

“Is that a tone I hear” Eric says amused.

“Nope” I deny.

“Really because I think it is.” Eric is smiling as he says so.

“Perhaps, okay yeah but I mean I’m not made of stone you know.” I say feeling guilty that she triggered a little jealousy. 

“Ah crap, here I was wanting a girl made out of stone” his eyes change a little though and when I look back I see that Dylan and Robyn are approaching us. “I really don’t know what to do around him and I hate it” Eric says besides my ear still looking at Dylan.

“I know baby but you’ll get there.” I say kissing his cheek, he turns his head obviously not expecting that. 

“How am I ever gonna be without you?” he asks and I look at his eyes.

“Who says you have to?” but Eric can’t answer because they’re here.

“Hello there mr and mrs Harris” Robyn says jokingly.

“Very funny but you’re confusing us with my parents” Eric says with a chuckle.

“Eh I’m so gonna be a bridesmaid.” Robyn says winking at me. 

“Shut up” I tell her before I get one of the camera’s off the table and scroll it to the next picture. “Say we’re handsome together” I say as I place the camera before my eye. Dylan pulls Robyn closer and I can see all the air leaving her body and her cheeks turn red. 

“We’re a handsome couple” Dylan says smiling big for the camera as he holds Robyn. She however turns her head to look at him right when I snap the picture. I suck in my lips and think about what a wonderful picture that will be. Dylan lets her go when I put the camera down but he takes her hand in his. Soon we’re in the company of Zack and Devon again as well. We talk a little and more pictures are taken between the six of us.Then I hear the first notes of Take my breath away by Berlin and my heart stops when I see Devon drag Dylan on the dancefloor. I do not hesitate and take Eric’s hand and follow them. 

“Uhm excuse me but my place is on the sideline with all the sane people.” Eric protests.

“We’re slow dancing not doing some hip hop dance, I promise you that you’ll like it” I tell him and he doesn’t stop walking but follows me. As soon as we’re on the dancefloor somewhere close to Dylan I turn around and look at Eric’s unamused face. But when I place his hands on my lower back and mine around his neck his expression changes. The melody runs through our bodies and we sync into the music as we make small circles around ourselves. “When I was getting ready and your mom helped me.” I begin to tell him “I thought of my mom. How she was the light of my life.” Eric listens closely while his arms pull me in closer. “You know that braided bun you like so much?” I ask him.

“Of course” he says so softly.

“That was her signature braid that I’ve adopted as my own.” I look down for a second but quickly find his eyes again. “I think she died of a broken heart” I lick my lips and see Eric’s expression soften even more. “You are my one and only, Harris. I’ll cherish every day you chose to stay.” I say before I place my head on his shoulder. Eric’s hand goes up to my hair and he kisses my forehead so gentle that I lose the ability to breath. Then and there in his arms I feel like I belong, I feel home. We turn a little and I see Dylan and Devon. Right in that moment I find Dylan’s eyes. He’s dancing so sweetly with his friend and his expression is mellow and happy. He even gives me a small smile which I return gladly so why doesn’t it feel right? It’s the fact that Tuesday hasn’t passed yet and Nick telling me all these things about Dylan. Still I find it hard to shake the feeling so I look at Eric’s face to calm my mind. That lopsided smirk right there but it quickly turns into a whole smile. He comes closer to my face and presses a flutter of a kiss on my lips.

“I will forever deny saying this but I can’t wait to watch Mufasa with you.” and he chuckles. “I can’t wait to do all the June things with you. Before and after June.” his one hand at the top of my derriere and the other right up in my neck. 

“You wanna hear the fun part?” I ask him.

“Tell me” 

“June is only the beginning. We have everything still in front of us. All out in the open for us to explore, college, jobs and every other thing in life.” Eric’s expression changes to one of slight panic. “Oh too much?” I ask him.

“A little, let's keep it around June for now” he says with a nervous smile. 

“Okay baby, June it is” I say placing a kiss on his lips and right in that moment the song changes to a horrible pop song. Eric and I cringe when we look at each other. “Time to move” I say and Eric takes my hand and walks us off the dancefloor. We get back and see Robyn laughing really hard with Mike about something. When we join them we see that Mike is getting a little drunk.

“Ah Eric good you brought my wife back.” I place my hand in front of my mouth when I see how small his eyes are getting. 

“And with your wife you mean my girlfriend?” Eric asks a little too serious.

“Ah shattering his dreams” Robyn says smiling.

“Yes shattering his dreams, he’s crushed. A shadow of what he used to be. God Eric you’re an asshole” Mike says before sitting down on a chair and placing his head on his hands. 

“Oh no Harris what have you done, you’ve brought out the sulk in Mike.” I say looking at Mike and then at Robyn who’s smiling as she looks back at me. Then Mike gets back up “lets go get us all a drink brother” he says when he throws his arm around Eric. 

“Oh yeah he’s heartbroken” Eric says as he starts to walk with Mike giving me a you-owe-me look as he guides Mike to the drinks. 

“Finally girl time” Robyn says as she pulls a chair closer to her for me to sit on. I sit down and she looks at me with big sparkling eyes. “That picture, I owe you for life. Now I can look at the picture, pretend we’re a couple and wallow for the rest of my life” she says smiling. I laugh at her words. 

“Honey please, you’re not going to wallow for the rest of your life. Besides who knows what might come out of tonight?” I say trying to keep her in the happy zone.

“Well a lot of funky pictures that’s for sure” she says laughing.

“Yes what a great idea to buy them, you bought a lot though.” I say impressed.

“My mom.” she says.

“What?” I ask not sure what she means.

“It was a gift from my mom, she knew how much I liked it on Eric’s birthday and she told me to go nuts with them” and she smiles again. 

“Can you believe I haven’t even developed them, I had all the time but I just forgot to do so.” I say looking in the direction of where the boys went. I’ve been feeling so nervous, so afraid I’d bump into people I really do not want to meet that I try to keep my eyes off of the dancefloor. Eric comes our way without Mike, he’s holding three cups in between his hands and I smile at how concentrated he looks. 

“We can develop them together somewhere next week” Robyn proposes. 

“Sounds like a plan girl” I say and when Eric reaches us I ask him “did you lose Mike?’ a devilish smile appears on his face.

“I tied him to a tree somewhere” and he hands Robyn a drink and then me. “I don’t think it’s sugar free, sorry” he tells me.

“That’s okay babe, thank you” I say taking a sip, oh definitely not sugar free. My whole face scrunched together making them both laugh. “Wow I always forget how horrible sweet these drinks are.” but I take another sip because I’m thirsty. I take Eric’s arm on which he has his watch and I see it’s almost midnight already. He too looks at the time. 

“Do you want to go?” he asks me.

“Well it’s over soon anyway so whenever you’re ready I am too” I tell him. He looks at me and licks his lips again. He starts to shake his head.

“Let's go then” he says with a look on his face I can’t really read. Right in that moment Dylan and his friends come walking towards us. I get up and take Eric’s hand. We see Dylan looking at our hands and then up to us, he still looks like he’s really enjoying himself. 

“We’re about to leave” Eric tells his friends with a smile. We all greet each other with smiles and hugs. Dylan again gives me a small hug and says.

“See you around” 

“Yeah, see ya” I say with a smile while I rub his arm. He smiles and takes a step back. Robyn comes in for a hug.

“Are you coming to the after party?” she asks. I look at Eric and he shrugs. 

“Probably, I’m not sure” I say while I grab my dress so I can walk a little easier. Robyn looks down and sees my shoes and she gives me two thumbs up. I smile at her and wave before Eric and I make our way outside. “Aaah fresh air” I say with slightly ringing ears and a head full of party aftermath as we hit the parking lot. Eric places his arm around me and we walk to his car. We walk to my side of the car and before Eric opens the door he pushes me against the door and looks into my eyes. He smiles as his hand goes up to my face, softly he places it on the side of my face and he kisses me. Soft but pressing. I feel my body react to him, deep within my wanting him grows with every second. I take his upper lip in between mine and bite down softly a deep breath escapes his lips. He breaks free and with a hot- blooded voice he says.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you like that all evening.” his hand slides down from my face over my bust and down to my waist. He gives me a short kiss before he opens the door. I get in looking at his face. When he closes the door I let out a hot breath and open his door. I buckle up and watch Eric getting in, he opens his tux blazer before he starts the car. The ride is silent but tension keeps rising and when he looks at me I know exactly what he’s thinking about. He takes my hand while he drives and his thumb is caressing me so sweetly it’s driving me nuts. His hand feel unsteady. Not too far from my motel room I take my hand out of his and let it run down to his crotch, I bite my lip as I look at his reaction. He seems to stop breathing and then he turns to face me. I move my hand over his crotch feeling it harden at the touch only then does he breathe again. A loud breath rolls over his lips and he closes his eyes for a split second. “Stop before I crash us into something” he says with a firm voice making me want to tease him even more but I don’t. I place my hand on his leg and he takes it in his hand again only this time he’s not caressing me but he’s holding on to it tightly. When we reach the motel he parks the car and gets out faster than I’ve ever seen someone do before. I take my keys out of his his glove compartment and I open the door. He swings it open even further for me. Picking up the dress so I won’t trip Eric takes my elbow for support.

I want to say thank you but his lips cut me off after I say “than”. His arms go around me as he pulls me in. The same way he did during the slowdance. He lets me feel how much he wants me. He breaks the kiss and places his forehead against mine. He sucks in his bottom lip and his hands go up to my face. He sighs “I didn't buy condoms because I didn't want you to think I was a douchebag ready to fuck right after prom but right now I’m regretting that choice.” he looks into my eyes and I take one of his hands in mine, with the other I raise my dress again.

“Come on let's go inside” I say keeping my eyes on him. He looks a little insecure and lost.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything” he says with an unsteady voice. I say nothing but open the room for us to enter. Eric closes the door behind him and when he turns back around I waste no time kissing him again, this time my hands are on his cheeks. He’s more gentle then before in his kiss. So I help him sink back into a passionate kiss. Letting my hands hold his face tightly I open his mouth with my thumb and softly let my tongue find his. Our tongues dancing in slow circles like we did on the dancefloor but this time to the rhythm of our hearts. I linger on his lips before I say. 

“Don’t apologise, Eric” I say breathless before he kisses me again. I take the collar of his blazer in my hands and with confidence I push it back over his shoulders. Eric breaks the kiss and looks at me. After I’ve taken the blazer off I throw it on the floor with some force, Eric looks a little confused but when he sees me starting to take his tie off he seems sure enough of what I’m doing. Our lips now reunited and his tie is on the floor. I let my hands open the top button of his blouse. Our kiss gets heated and I feel my hands start to fumble with the buttons. Eric notices and smiles in the kiss. I let my hands slip between his shirt and blouse and press it over his shoulders, Eric pulls his arms out of the sleeves never breaking the kiss. He’s not smiling anymore. My hands on his back I pull him closer as he starts to kiss my neck making a wet trail. I softly moan at his touch and I feel his hands go down to my ass. My whole body is screaming for Eric “I want to feel you Eric” I whisper in his ear before I take his earlobe between my lips. Eric stops what he’s doing and looks at me, his eyes hungry and lips parted. I turn his face to the foot of the bed where I had left the condoms I bought. He looks back with big eyes but he doesn’t move. I kiss him a lot less gentle this time letting my hands run over his chest ready to pull his shirt over his head. 

He pulls back and says “I want you so bad, you have no idea.” his lips in my neck again, licking me in between kisses. He makes his way over to my jaw up to my cheek and his nose brushing against mine. “Why am I afraid to mess it all up?” he admits. I look at him and lick my lips. 

“Babe can’t mess anything up, I promise” I leave his shirt on and let my hands go down to his pants. Opening his belt I see his eyes close. “Is this okay?” I ask him with our faces inches apart. He looks at me and locks eyes.

“Yes” he says voice thick with lust. Quickly I let his pants drop to his feet and I turn his back towards the bed. I let my hands slowly push his briefs down, his breathing is getting heavier and when I palm him he lets out a sharp breath. I push him down on the bed and stand right in front of him. Picking off a condom from the bed I start to open it. I see Eric’s mouth open slightly but he says nothings. As soon as I’ve opened it I place a knee on the bed besides him and I let it roll over him. “Slide back on the bed a bit” I tell him and he does so, still upright as he looks at me pulling up my dress, his eyes on my legs and when I take my panties off he says “oh shit”. I bite my lip, crawl over to him and straddle him, letting myself feel how hard he is underneath me. Eric is still sitting on the bed with me on top of him. I place one hand over his hard on before I start to kiss him. I keep him upright so I can let him slide into me, gentle and slowly. When his tip is in his eyes close and I start to moan against his lips. His hands are just above my hips and he keeps them there but doesn’t move at all. I lock my arms around his neck and push myself down on him. Eric’s eyes open and he locks them with mine as I begin to ride him, agonizingly slow. Not a word or sound from the both of us, we’re fully focussed on how we feel together. We keep looking into each others eyes. Eric kisses me and his hand goes up over my back and up into my hair. He settles his hand in my neck and has a tight grip on it. He starts to feel self assured as my moans increase and start to become rhythmical. Low growls pass over his lips when I start to press myself down harder on him. “Fuck” he says lustful and soft. His hand on my hip begins to press me down when I go down and he’s pushing up the dress further so he can let his hand touch my warm naked body. Both his hands on my hips, he’s kneading the flesh. Eric breaks the kiss. Lust pouring out of his eyes,his voice is low and hungry when he says.

“I want you under me” I shake yes and so without hesitation we turn around on the bed together. Eric hovering above me as I struggle to get the dress out of my way. Impatiently he pushes up all the fabric and he settles between my legs. His face close to mine when he enters me with more force behind it. Now my eyes close and my head falls back as he pushes in me, a little deeper each thrust. “Oh fuck” he growls in my ear as he picks up his pace. His arms beside my head and he starts to shower my neck with kisses. A kiss on my shoulder before he starts to move faster and more unmanaged. He pushes in me as far as he can and grinds his way to his peak. Eric moans with his eyes closed as he climaxes in me for the first time. His breathing sounds heavier and when he opens his eyes he finds me looking at him with my arms on his back. His body starts to shake a little. 

“Are you okay?” I ask him as I feel him tremble on top of me. 

“Never better” he says. He starts to kiss me, flighty kisses on my lips, cheeks, forehead and even shoulder. “God I love you”. 

I bite my lip and tell him “I love you too”. My hands on his shoulders I smile up at him while we both try to catch our breath. His look is so intense it makes me almost want to shy away from his eyes. “You’re shaking” I say to him wondering why. I pull him close against me and give him a kiss, he’s still in me and when I move my leg up more he twitches at how sensitive it still is for him. I smile while I start to kiss him again. He breaks the kiss with a smile.

“Yes I am.” he says while licking his lips and pushing in a little. “I guess I never thought it would feel like this” he says before he comes to lay down besides me. 

“Yeah every first time is different from what we think sex is like” I say turning on my side to face him. His hand goes up to my face and he has that small smile on his face where his top lip curls up a bit. 

“No I meant how it felt in here” and he places my hand over his heart making my own explode with love. He smiles a less innocent smile and ads “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to leave this bed with you”. I smile and fall on my back with a chuckle.

“Who said you have to?” I ask with a brow raised. Eric’s eyes start to light up and he casually takes off the condom. He looks at me like where does he put it. “Just tie a knot in it and discard it” I say to him. He looks really happy with himself when he does so. I get up from the bed and Eric reacts immediately.

“Wow where do you think you’re going?” he says with a happy smile. I say nothing and walk over to his side of the bed. Right in front of him I stop and turn around. 

“Open this please” I say as I take the top over my head. Eric moves behind me and his hands gently pull the zipper down. He kisses my shoulder as he does so. When it’s open he rests his hands on my hips and keeps kissing my neck. “Take it off of me” I say while I look for eye contact. I find it and Eric lets his hands come between my body and the dress like I did with his clothes and he presses the dress down and over my hips, letting it fall to floor. From over my shoulder he looks at my body and his hands start to move on instinct. His one hand goes down and finds my warmth while his other goes up to my breasts. His breath hitting my neck and I feel myself sink into his touch. When he can’t take it anymore he turns me around and takes the top of his shirt behind his head in his hands and in one swift movement pulls it over his head. His eyes less steady as he sees mine going over my body. The scars on his chest and leg visible. I place my thumb on his chest scar and trace it down. He’s slender but his abdomen is quite defined and I start to trace his muscles before he pulls me close to him. Our warm, naked bodies touching as we build up a tension that I can taste on my tongue. Eric now spins us around and places me on the bed before he comes up on top of me again. Kissing me all the way from my neck down to my core. My hand on his shoulders as he pushes my legs up giving him access to a view he’s craved for so long. 

** 

“You were shaking” I say as I lay comfortable in his arms under the covers. Eric has his arms around me tight and keeps kissing my shoulder over his Rammstein shirt. 

“Only in the beginning” he says with a smirk, his eyes are getting tired and his voice raspier than I’ve ever heard him. I lace our fingers together and nod.

“True only in the beginning” and I look at the time “oh my god, I can’t believe it’s almost 5:30 am” I say laughing while I feel the tiredness come over me. 

“Yeah we’ve been busy” he says with his nose against my cheek. His hand is caressing my tummy underneath the shirt. “You won’t hear me complain though” he says with a sleepy chuckle. I smile and turn in his arms so I’m facing him, his hand now caressing my back.

“Me neither” and I place a hand on his cheek. “We should get some sleep though” 

“I know but I don’t want to” Eric says with a smirk as his hand goes down to my ass. I just laugh and settle myself on his chest as he turns to his back. “Good night my gorgeous girl” he says kissing my forehead. Then he gets up a bit and gives me a proper kiss. He leans back and starts to smile. He gets up again and says “one more”. A loving kiss follows.

“Sweet dreams Harris” I say feeling myself drift off with a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the hairstyle I had in mind for her during prom. Feel free ofcourse to think of your own.
> 
> https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=1DKNFUVk&id=FF5B0308B041438E8A875DF6B430719E7EEBE0E1&thid=OIP.1DKNFUVk7W7fB-ScjqDU5wHaLH&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fmissysue.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2015%2f10%2ffishtail-french-braid-low-bun.png&exph=975&expw=650&q=braid+bun&simid=608038592773097824&selectedIndex=155


	25. Black Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm feeling much better. Thanks for all the well wishes, I really appreciated it <3 
> 
> Here's a new chapter, feedback as always is very appreciated and I love all the comments <3
> 
> I want to put a warning on this chapter, there are mentions of suicide! Be safe everyone and if you struggle with suicidal thoughts be sure to know that you're not alone and there is help out there for you. I STRONGLY advice you to find someone you trust and share your darkest thoughts with them , find the help you deserve. You matter, you're important!

“I can’t believe you’re not even gonna let me watch you take a shower” I say looking really insulted at Eric. He’s standing in front of the bathroom in his briefs, shirt in hand and a smile on his face. “Honestly I thought we had something here” I say as I plug in the hair dryer next to the bed so I can start on my hair while he takes a shower. 

Eric laughs as he says “you’re not gonna watch me take a shower, you can join me though” a smirk on his face. I drop the hair dryer on the bed.

“You’re telling me this after I took a shower. When I’m ready to fix my hair? Just no.” I say laughing “besides I’m super hungry so please hurry” 

“Yeah yeah I’ll be quick” he says before turning around to enter the shower. When he closes the door I take the hair dryer in my hand and with a smile on my face press the on button. Letting my hand run through my hair I think about last night. How it all started, so quiet and loving. Him trembling while he kissed me after our first time together. The mere thought is enough to make me all warm again inside. Then as the night progressed we became one together. The silence left as we filled the room with our messy moans and growls from deep within. After we fell a sleep the silence returned until Eric woke me up with passion in his kiss and hands that left a blazing trail of fire over my skin. All of a sudden two arms wrap themselves around me scaring me out of my thoughts. 

“Jesus Harris” I cry out as I shut the hair dryer off. “You scared the crap out of me” behind me Eric is laughing. “Oh that amuses you doesn’t it?” I ask trying to get out of his arms. 

“To no end” he says kissing my head and I give up and lean back against him. “Let’s go get some food” he says before giving me not one, not two but three kisses on my cheek. I smile at the sweet attention.

“Let’s go for lunch across the street.” I say with a big smile.

“You want me to take you to no-filter for lunch? You hate me” Eric says getting off the bed now fully clothed. He’s wearing his black bdu pants and his running man shirt. My heart skips a few beats over that shirt. 

“I loathe you, lets go” I say with a smile. We both put on our shoes and Eric picks up my jacket and holds it open for me. “Really?” I say with a smile. 

“Just accept it woman” Eric says laughing, I turn around to let him put on my jacket. We head on over to the coffee place I grew to really like. Our hands locked together as we cross the street. Entering the place I see my favorite coffee lady smile big at us. 

“Hello there, didn't see you for a couple of days I thought you must have left.” she says looking at me. 

“I’ve been busy and now I’m in desperate need of a fix” I say to her.

“Got it, lunch?” she asks with her brows raised.

“Yes please” Eric says while he begins to take his jacket off. 

“Did you manage to find a good one?” she asks him and Eric looks a little confused but then the coin drops.

“Are you still on that?” he asks a little annoyed.

“Well I just know a good thing when I see it. That’s all.” she says with a smile as she hands him two menus. Eric takes them without breaking eye contact with her. 

“Well you’re not wrong there” he says with a smile and then he turns to me “come on princess”. I stay standing there and cross my arms. Eric has a big smile on his face “you’ll get used to it” and he gently pushes me but I won’t budge “oh come on” he says. I see the lady behind him pretending to put a ring on her finger before she points at Eric making me laugh. I turn around and start to walk. “Thank you” he says.

“You’re not calling me princess” I say before sitting down on a random seat. 

“I think I already did” he says cocky.

“Fine” I say opening the menu.

“Fine?” he asks apprehensive. 

“Yes you can call me princess” I say smiling.

“What’s the catch?” he says with squinted eyes.

“Nothing, there is no catch. Honey bear” and I lock eyes with him while he tries his best not to react immediately.

“Okay I see how this is.” he says while he reads his menu. 

“Do you now” I say putting mine down. I lean forward on my elbows and start to tap his menu. “Honey bear” I say while pouting.

“Yeah okay I can’t do that” Eric says laughing “fine you win, princess belongs to the past” 

“Mission accomplished” I say leaning back into my seat and when I see my cappuccino coming closer I say to the owner of the coffee place “What’s your name?”. She puts my coffee down and takes out her pen and little notepad. 

Looking over at Eric she says “it’s Princess” with a dead serious face. Making Eric look at me with a face that’s hilarious and I’m just laughing.

“Well Princess, I’ve made my choice, have you honey bear?” I ask Eric looking at him. He places his hands in front of his face as he now leans on his elbows. 

“Yes I have” Eric says muffled from behind is hands. We give her our order and she takes off again. “You’re unbelievable” he says taking my hands in his. 

“Remember when you thought I may change my mind about you?” I ask him.

“Yes, why?” he asks a little suspicious.

“Well I’m beginning to fear I might tire you with my moods” I say semi serious. He begins to chuckle and brings my hands up to his mouth.

“Never” he says giving my hand a kiss “I mean I might get sick of it, yes but I’ll never get tired of you. Ever” he says kissing my fingers one at a time.

“Stop it Harris” I say with red cheeks. He tilts his head and smiles.

“Why?” he asks amused.

“Too much affection, I’ll run” I say with a smile. He gives one last kiss and then lowers my hands. “Don’t look at me like that”.

“Like what?” Eric asks surprised.

“Like you’re.” and I lean in on him “thinking about me naked” 

“Oh but I am, trust me” he says shamelessly. I smile at his chirpy mood and shake my head. Our food arrives and we’re so hungry we eat in almost complete silence. When we’re done I stack the plates and put them on the side so it’s easier to clear the tables. Eric looks amused at what I’m doing but says nothing. “Do you have anything in mind for the rest of the day?” he asks me.

“Not really” I say thinking about it “have you?” I ask him and a devilish smile appears on his face. Tilting my head as I look at him I lean in closer. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?” Eric leans in closer as well.

“Definitely” and he pops up to kiss me. I sit back down.

“Okay, let's go then” I say with a smile as I get up to go. Eric follows me without hesitation. I pay for the food and Eric is standing behind me. 

“I’ll come back later for her prescription, Princess” Eric says feeling very happy with himself. He makes all three of us laugh before we make our way back to my motel room to spend all day and evening in there together. Only when he has to go home does he finally manages to let go of me. 

“I hate going home even more now” he says with a chuckle as he tries to put on his socks. I have my arms around his shoulders and hug him from behind. I keep shaking him a little so it’s hard for him to get ready. “Stop doing that, I’ll never be able to leave.” Eric says looking back.

“That would be horrible.” I say with a smile “alright fine” and I get up from the bed to take another sip from my water. Eric’s all done and takes his jacket in hand as he walks up to me. He throws one arm around me and pulls me in. 

“I’ll miss you” he whispers against my hair. 

“Same” I say softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow after school” I feel him nodding. 

“Yup” he says as he turns around to walk to the door. He opens it and before he walks out he looks back one more time. Smiles at me and leaves. 

**

It’s Monday around lunchtime and I’ve been feeling nauseous for the most part of the morning. I’m in doubt whether I’ll go to Columbine to meet Eric for lunch but a single knock on my door decides for me. Close to the door I ask “who is it?” 

“Eric” and if he hadn’t said his name I wouldn’t have recognised his voice. Opening the door I see a broken boy looking at me. He wastes no time telling me why he’s here. “Dylan is dead”. I feel myself taking a step back as if someone punched me in the chest. My hand goes up to my mouth and I feel my brows draw together. I let out a huff of air before I walk over to Eric who's now inside with the door closed behind him. Close to him I hug him, his arms wrap themselves tightly around me. I feel tears of immediate guilt stream down my cheeks. Eric breaks the hug faster then I would have wanted him to do. He looks at me and starts talking in a calm way which tells me he’s in absolute shock. “They took me, Robyn, Mike, Erik, Nate, Zach and a few others aside in an office. Telling us Dylan’s parents had called the school this morning. He killed himself yesterday.” Eric’s voice calm and flat. I feel my gut twist and turn in ways that scares me. “They told us we could choose to stay or go home.” He’s looking right at me but he doesn’t seem to really see me. “I’m scared, Y/n.” he tells me.

“Eric” I say thinking it’s normal to be afraid but he means it in a different way then I think.

“What if he left a note or told someone about our plans? I could get in serious trouble if he did” Eric says a little too cold. “Then again if he did they’d probably have already been at my house yesterday” he reasons with himself more than me. 

“Poor Dylan” is the first thing that leaves my lips, Eric shoots an angry look at me but I don’t really care. 

“I just wanted to tell you before I went home.” he tells me. 

“Do you want me to come or do you need some alone time?” I ask him while I place my hand in his neck. He looks at me with softer eyes this time.

“I just want to be alone” he says still coldly. “I’ll come see you when I know more or tomorrow after school.” 

“Okay, take it easy oh and Eric” I say before asking him a question that’s very important to me right now. After he answers he leaves straight away and after I’ve put on my jacket, grabbed my stuff I too leave my room. Getting in my rental I feel my heart getting heavier for Dylan by the second. I need to hurry before I lose all strength. After a short ride I get to where I want to be and I walk up to the door of a house I’ve been once before. After a few knocks a man opens the door with a serious face.

“Mr Anderson?” I ask him.

“Yes, and who are you?” he asks with a frown.

“My name is Y/n Hunter and I wanted to see Robyn.” I tell him. 

“I’ll ask if she wants to see you, wait here” he says to me.

“Yes sir” I answer before taking a step back as he closes the door. I can’t even imagine how she must be feeling but I do know I want to be here for her. The door opens again.

“Come on in” Robyn’s father tells me. I do so and thank him simultaneously. “You can go upstairs, she’s in the room to the left. Please don’t stay too long” 

“I won’t sir and thank you again.” I say with a small smile before I make my way upstairs. I get to the door and see it’s open just a little bit. “Robyn?” I ask and I hear soft cries on the other side. 

“Y/n” she says and I open the door to find her curled up on her bed. 

“Oh honey” I say walking up to her, she’s crying. I sit next to her and bend over to place my head on her shoulder “you have no idea how sorry I am for you” she places her arm around me but says nothing. What is there to say in a moment like this, all the cliches pass through my mind and although they’re often true it’s not always what someone in great grief wants to hear. After a little while of us sitting like this she comes up and wiped the tears from her face. 

“I was gonna try and talk to him today” she speaks out and tears fill her sweet cheeks once again. Looking at her I feel a tremendous guilt, not only for failing Dylan but also because I see my mom in her pain. “They didn't tell us how and I did something” she says placing her hands in front of her mouth as she tries to muffle her cries. The gun, she’s talking about the gun. My heart breaks. “I bought him a gun, I know it was stupid but he wanted one so bad, saying it’s for target practice and now he” she rattles but can’t finish the sentence. 

I think about Jack for some reason and tell her “hey you listen to me.” Jack is always stern and straight in his words “no matter what, it is not your fault. Do you understand me?” I ask her. She looks up through desolate eyes. “Even if he.” and I choke up a bit because I’m not Jack “he would have found a way regardless” I end my sentence. “Come here” I say before opening my arms. Robyn leans in and starts to wipe away her tears again. 

In a flat voice she says “I should have known, I should have talked to him before you mentioned it” 

“Dylan was so closed off, you weren’t to know.” I say trying to comfort her but I know it’s useless, right now there is no comfort. There will be none for a while. It’s part of the process. “You need to feel it.” I tell her and she looks up a little confused. I nod my head “You need to allow all the pain, the feelings all of it. Let it be there. See this as a wound. An actual wound. It’s infected and disgusting. And before you can let it heal you need to clean it and the only way to do that is by letting it all out, like a wound needs to be drained of fluid and such. Let all the feelings be, let it be painful so that after the wound is drained and you let it all out, it can heal back properly.” I say to Robyn.

“How do you know all this?” Robyn asks.

“It’s what someone told me after my mom died” I tell her.

“Oh my god” she says. I smile at her and rub her arm. “Did it get better for you?” she asks almost begging for some sort of relief. 

“In a way. Sometimes I still struggle with it as much as I did day one but luckily those days are not as much anymore. You just learn to deal with it in time. But I still don’t talk about her much so I guess I could clean the wound a little better myself as well” the last part being directed more to me then her. I spot the bag with cameras in the corner. “Are these the?” I ask her pointing at them. She just nods yes. “Can I take them? Develop them for you for when you’re ready?” I ask her.

“Would you do that?” she asks me.

“Definitely, I promise I’ll take good care of them and be sure to get a lot of extra copies.” I promise her. 

“Thank you” she says softly. 

“Listen I promised your father I wouldn’t stay long” I tell her and she nods again. “Do you want me to come back another time for the cameras or shall I take them right away?” I ask her. She looks at me and at the bag, tears filling up her eyes again. 

“Just take them” Robyn says with a grief stricken voice. I nod and get up. When I take the bag off of her desk I feel like it weighs a ton. 

“Take care of yourself Robyn. Drink lots of water and I’ll check in with you soon and bring the pictures.” I tell her before I walk to the door. “Open or closed?” I ask her. 

“Open” she says and then I walk down the stairs, her father greets me at the bottom of the stairs.

“Robyn has mentioned you, you’re here from Europe aren’t you?” he asks me.

“Yes sir” I answer him. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you” he says extending his hand for me to take “even if it is under these horrible circumstances, did you know Dylan as well?” he asks interested. I think about prom when Dylan hugged me and how happy he looked.

“I’ve known him for a couple of weeks but it feels like he’s been with me for years.” I answer as honest as I can. “I have to go sir.” I say wanting to get these cameras developed as soon as I can. 

“Of course, I’m sorry for your loss.” he concludes the conversation kindly. I smile and thank him before stepping out the door. 

I go straight to the shops to get them developed. As I drive I look at the passenger seat and the bag seems to hold a tight grip on my throat making it impossible to swallow the lump it’s holding. When I finally reach the store I get a basket and put in 5 albums, 5 big envelopes, glue and a sharpie pen. When I reach the register I place the bag with cameras on there.

“Hello” I say to the man behind it.

“Hi how may I help you?” he asks with a smile on his face. 

“I’d like these cameras to all be developed and I want 10 copies of each camera.” I tell him.

“That much?” he asks.

“Yes, that much and please be careful because they hold the last pictures taken of someone dear to a lot of people.” I say looking into his eyes.

“Understood, we have a three hour printing service or a two day service.” he tells me.

“I’ll collect them in three hour then.” I tell him before I place the basket on the counter. “And I’ll have these please” I add to it.

“Very well.” he says taking it from my hand “listen, it’s a slow day. I can print these right now for you if you want, they seem very important to you.” he says kindly. Breathing gets heavy and I feel my eyes well up as I look at this kind stranger. I gently shake my head yes. The man smiles emphatically.

“Thank you” I say while I feel my first tear for Dylan roll down my cheek. 

“You’re welcome, I’m getting you a glass of water.” he states and before I can protest he turns around with the cameras and leaves my sight. When he comes back he holds up a glass of water which he hands to me. He then starts to scan all my articles and adds the developing of the photos with it as well. The total is a huge amount but then it drops with 25 dollars. I look up at the man and he says “there’s a discount because I know what it means to have to develop the last pictures of someone”. 

At his words I drop my head and wait for the tears to stop flowing before I look up again. Drying my cheeks I look up at the man. “You’re very kind. I appreciate it” and he just nods with a smile at me. After a little while he goes around the back and comes back with the pictures. The pictures of Eric’s birthday included.

“They are printed quite nicely, even those filled with flashes.” he tells me while handing me my bags.

“Thanks again” I say as he hands me three bags. 

“You’re welcome and take care” he says before I exit the store. The drive back goes by in a haze. I take everything back to my room and empty the desk. I place one of the albums on it and see that the man from the store already made sets of pictures in envelopes and bound them together so I don’t even have to sort them out per camera. With trembling fingers I open the sets of pictures. Pushing my mind to focus on my task I get through the pictures and start placing them in the albums. Leaving notes of the moments on the sideline. When the albums are filled and the envelopes as well I go straight into the bathroom to take a shower. I’m in desperate need to wash this moment all off of me. When I’m done I look at the albums and envelopes on my desk and feel like I’ve at least done something worthwhile on this horrible day. I get in my bed and make myself as comfortable as I can but it doesn’t last long because my mind is racing with all the what if’s. I feel incredibly guilty, I should have focussed on Dylan more. Trying to push out the thoughts I manage to fall asleep. Only to be woken up by three loud knocks not too long after. “Eric” I say as I wipe the sleep off of my face. Sleep drunk I walk towards the door and ask “who is it?” 

“Lisa Harper, I’m with the agency” a voice says from the other side. I open the door quickly. “Miss Y/n Hunter?” she asks.

“Yes I’m her” I say to her. 

“May I come in, I have two messages for you.” she says. I open the door fully and gesture for her to come in. 

“Both messages are from Jack Le Temps, one is private and one is not.” she says opening her briefcase. “Are you ready miss?” she asks. 

“Yes” 

“Y/n Hunter, Eric Harris was no longer a threat to your mission and as of yesterday neither is Dylan Klebold. This means you have succeeded. On behalf of the whole agency, I congratulate you. Soon you will receive a message about where you will meet with a consultant of the agency to start the end procedure. You’ve done well. - Jack Le Temps” she clears her throat and asks “was that message clear?”.

“Yes ma’am” I say very upset about the way Jack wrote this message. 

“Good on to the second, private message from Jack Le Temps.” she takes the second page in her hand “Y/n, I told you if anyone could do this it was you. I need you to sit down before the rest of this message can be read to you.” the lady says so and actually stops talking. 

“Are you seriously waiting for me to sit down?” I ask a little defiant. 

“Yes miss.” she says shortly.

“Fucking hell” I say angry with this all. I sit down “are you happy?” and I take my bottle of water from beside me and take a sip. 

“I’ll proceed with the message.” she says with a brow raised. “Now that you’re sitting down I’d like to inform you that I will be the one that goes through the end procedure with you and Eric Harris” 

The water bottle falls out of my hand and I stare at the lady in front of me. “Come again?” I say with a squeaky voice. Lisa is kind enough to get the bottle off the floor before it drenches the space around it. 

“Jack Le Temps will come here and go through the end procedure with you. But the message isn’t over” she informs me “I’m going to read the whole message again for you” she says. 

“Y/n, I told you if anyone could do this it was you. I need you to sit down before the rest of this message can be read to you. Now that you’re sitting down I’d like to inform you that I will be the one that goes through the end procedure with you and Eric Harris. I need you to know something. Y/n, Eric Harris will get the option to come back with you to our time. It used to always be you staying there if you wished but your father has insisted with the council that they give him the option to come back here with you. Also the messenger is going to give you a cellphone so I can reach you when I arrive. Which will be soon. My dear Y/n we will see each other again soon. - Jack Le temps” 

I sit on the bed with the bottle cap still in my hands. My mouth is open and my eyes wide in shock. 

“Miss is that message clear?” she asks me.

“Yeah” I say with surprising ease. 

“Are you sure?” she asks.

“Yes ma’am, Jack is coming here to 1999 to talk to me and Eric. I can go home.” I say breathless. 

“This is the cell phone.” and she hands me a cellphone that is so incredible outdated to my own time that it makes me laugh as I hold it. She then gives me the charger and my phone number. “Now I just need your signature and that will be all.” she says as she hands me the papers to sign. I sign them without much thought and give everything back to her. She walks out of the door as if she just delivered me pizza. 

I look at the phone in my hand and the first thing that comes to mind is to call Eric. I press the digits that form his phone number and place it up to my ear. It rings and it keeps ringing but no sound. I hang up only to dial again immediately. Again no answer. Hanging up I press redial again and this time there is an answer after 5 rings. 

“Hello” Eric’s annoyed voice sounds on the other side.

“Eric, it’s me” I say a little bleak.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he asks worried.

“Can you come over?” I say without answering him.

“I’ll be right there but tell me are you okay?” he asks more pressing this time.

“I have no idea” I say honestly but I laugh as I do so.

“Okay just stay there, I’ll be right there” Eric says before hanging up the phone. Not more than 6 minutes and Eric is here, banging on the door. When I open the door and I see Eric I start to cry, really hard. He comes in and guides me to the bed. We sit there and when I calm down a bit Eric asks.

“Jesus christ, what happened?” Eric is sounding incredible worried.

Without warning I let everything on my mind roll over my lips “I went to Robyn and I developed all the pictures. The guy was so nice. When I put them all in albums and envelopes I took a shower and a nap because it was exhausting to see Dylan smile.” I stop and try to wipe the tears out of my eyes to no avail. “I woke up because someone from the agency was at the door and they told me things I never imagined possible. It’s just all too much, and Dylan dying is all my fault” after my incoherent rant I start to sob again. 

“Oh my god” is all he says and he takes me in his arms. 

“Eric I should have focussed more on Dylan but all I did was think about you and how nothing else mattered to me. Now he’s dead and I’ll never be able to change that” I say with my face pressed into his shirt. 

“Calm down, what happened is not your fault.” and he lifts up my head “seriously I don’t want to hear you say that” he kisses my head and keeps me in his arms. When my back is starting to hurt from the strange position I sit up with my head still down. “You went to Robyn?” he asks.

“Yes” I say looking at the bedspread.

“She left school the second they told us” Eric tells me “is she okay?” he asks genuinely concerned.

“What do you think?” I ask him “she’s scared to death he shot himself with the gun she bought him” that’s when I make eye contact with him.

“For fucks sake” Eric says a little angry. “They didn't say anything about how. My mom went to their house this morning.” 

“She did?” I ask him.

“Yeah, his parents are shattered, completely broken. That is what she said.” Eric says looking at me with a blank expression. “They said he didn't leave a note or anything, so I guess I don’t have to worry.” Eric looks around him as if he’s ashamed to face me.

“Well they will be for a long time.” I tell him. “Eric I think if he said anything they would have picked you up immediately.” 

“I guess” he says shortly. “Can you tell me about the agency? What did they say?” he asks looking at me. I lock eyes with him and feel my heart skip several beats at the idea of Jack coming here.

“They gave me the phone I used to call you with. Because the person who’s going to talk to us will call me on it to make sure we won’t miss each other.” 

“Oh that makes sense, did they say when they’d come?” he asks me while he raises his hands to wipe off the remaining tears on my cheeks. I let my head rest in one of his hands. 

“Not specifically only that it will be soon. And I know the person they’re sending.” I say looking at Eric.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yeah, it’s Jack” at those words Eric gets up on his feet.

“Your uncle Jack? The agency big shot?” he asks with eyes wide open.

“That’s the one” I hesitate to tell him what Jack said in the message but decide it’s better to rip off the band aid. “And he also told me that my father got the council to agree with you coming back with me to 2020. That is if you want to” Eric’s face drains off all color and he slowly moves to sit back down. He looks at me and his eyes are almost popping out they’re so big. “Yeah take a minute to process that”. Eric just sits there in silence. I let out a big breath and get up to the bathroom, I leave the door wide open. Opening the water tap I let it fill my hands and splash the water up in my face. Looking into the mirror my own face scares me. I look weak, exhausted. “Okay y/n. Let's get a grip again.” I say to myself. I turn to dry my face and see Eric looking at me. Walking in I look at the albums and then at Eric. I exhale loudly. 

“So Jack is going to come here?” Eric asks while he walks towards me.

“Yes, any day now.” I tell him trying to focus on facts instead of feelings.

“And he’s going to discuss where to go from here with us?” 

“Indeed he will.” I answer Eric.

“Okay and one of the options is me going with you?” he asks before he starts to laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you it’s just this is crazy surreal. How is all of this possible?” he says making grand gestures with his hands as he speaks. “How would that work, me coming with you?” he concludes.

“Oh uhm I guess.” and I think about it “well I can tell you about how the travelling works but not a lot else. We’d have to wait for Jack.” I tell him and all of a sudden it hits me “oh my god, Jack” I say with a big smile “I’m going to see Jack again” 

“Yeah why does that scare the shit out of me? Meeting Jack I mean” Eric says with a small chuckle.

“I want to say you don’t have to but I’m related to him. He’s friendlier to me” I say thinking out loud.

“Gee thanks that really helps” Eric says walking back to the bed. 

“I’m sorry, no it will be fine. You just need to prepare yourself, he’s going to be extremely straightforward and to the point.” I tell Eric as I sit back down next to him. My eyes wander off to the albums again this time Eric follows them with his.

“Are those the pictures?” he asks me.

“Yes, I made an album for Robyn, Mike, Erik, his parents and for us.” I tell him.

“There are 5 albums” Eric states “did you make one for us together?” he asks looking at me.

“Well yeah, I mean I figured we don’t need two right.” I say a little coy. Eric gives me a small kiss on my cheek.

“You were right, one for us together is perfect.” he says but continues a little more gloomy “I don’t want to see them though” 

“That’s fine, it’s here when you’re ready.” I say to him with my hand on the back of his head. 

“I’m going to get you a cappuccino” he says getting up and walking straight through the door without looking back. I sit there and get behind the desk. I take the envelopes and write down the names on it for who they are. Zack, Devon, Nate. I place all of them in the bags so I can place it under the desk. The phone staring at me from on top of the desk. A knock on the door. I open it and see Eric standing there with two cups in his hands. He gives me one and takes a sip from the other cup. 

“Thank you” 

“You’re welcome” 

An uncomfortable silence between us follows and I’m not handling it very well.

“Okay Eric I can’t do this weird” and I motion with my hands between him and me “vibe. What is on your mind?” and I drag him to sit on the bed with me. I take a sip of my coffee and look at him. 

“I have no idea, my mind is blank. For the first time it’s completely blank.” he says looking at me with an expression similar to his state of mind, bleak. “It’s strange, someone I called my best friend for so long is dead and I can’t even feel shit”. 

I want to tell him that it’ll come but then he continues. 

“After I told him I was out of.” he pauzes looking for the right word I imagine “everything. I was consumed with how to go from there with Dylan. Then he was so oddly normal to me in school and at prom he seemed happy. What the fuck was that all about, I can’t believe he fucking offed himself” Eric’s voice is growing with anger with each word. 

“I think it was goodbye” I say fidgeting with my hands. 

“What was goodbye?” Eric asks me.

“Prom” and I look up at him “I think he had so much fun because he was saying goodbye to everybody. It’s common with suicidal people to get very energized and happy when they’ve made up their minds and settled on finally dying.” I say repeating the words I learned in a mental health class.

“Wait what? Suicidal?” Eric asks stunned at my words.

“Yeah, didn't you two set your minds on not being here for much longer?” I ask him.

“Well yeah but that changed so I figured he was happy to at least stay alive if he wasn’t happy about me quitting NBK.” Eric reasons. I feel like I’ve said too much.

“It doesn’t really matter cause he’s not here anymore.” I tell Eric, hoping he’ll settle for that answer even though I know better.

“You knew about us, things no one else knew I mean. Like my journal.” Eric says getting up on his feet looking very defensive. “What did you know about Dylan?” 

I get up as well and cross my arms “I knew his struggles, everyone has them Eric”

“Again with the cryptical answers” Eric says trying not to get angry. 

“Yes Eric, I’m not going to tell you Dylan’s private stuff.” I say firm. He looks like he’s about to get angry but instead he sits down.

“Ah fuck” he says slapping his legs “you’re right, I’m sorry” he says looking up at me. “I’m sorry really” he says extending his hand towards me. I walk over and take his hand. He tries to pull me down next to him but I’m not moving. Eric looks up and sees me upset “I didn't mean to get angry at you, you did nothing wrong it was me. Like usual.” he says with sincerity in his voice.

“Don’t say like usual” I tell him with a frown “sounds like a pity party for one when you say something like that.” Eric now has a small smile on his face as he looks at me.

“Alright, damn dragging me all over the floor with one sentence” he says with that smile still on his face.

“Yeah well I can’t always be the bigger person” I say while rolling my eyes as I sit down next to him. 

“You’re such a disappointment” Eric says trying to lighten the mood. The second he finishes that sentence a shrill ringtone comes from the direction of the desk. Both Eric and I stare at the phone, I look at Eric and feel my heart dropping down in my chest.

“Jack” we say at the same time. 


	26. A day to remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello amazing readers, here's another chapter!

Tuesday 20th of April

Eric’s driving us to the agency’s office where I’ve been once before. Jack is there waiting for us. I’ve opened the window of his car to let in some fresh air. Resting on my elbow against the door I look outside with mixed feelings. While the wind from outside grips a few strands of my hair I’m sitting here trying to figure how I’m going to deal with seeing Jack again. After I’ve said my goodbye at home, thinking I’ll never see him again I’m struggling with the idea of having to go through that again. Now Eric may even decide to come back home with me. The possibility to see my family and friends again. With reality changed making it so that only those closest around me have ever heard of Eric before. If it even comes that far. I turn to look at Eric, he’s focussed on the road and the music. His head bobbing softly to the sound. No matter how hard he tries he can’t hide how nervous and probably scared he really is. The moment in time that he died 21 years ago has already passed. It’s my birthday but neither of us has acknowledged that fact to each other. So the ride continues and we make our way to the first step in this part of our journey together. Still heavily on a cloud somewhere high up consumed by my thoughts the lack of music wakes me out of it. I turn to look at Eric who smiles at me. 

“Are you excited to see Jack again?” he asks probably hoping to start a normal conversation.

“I am, I think. I mean I thought I’d never see him again so it feels a little odd to be honest.” I say looking at him. He nods.

“Yeah I know how that feels, you’ve set your mind to something and then it’s all changed. It’s a weird feeling.” Eric says in a serious tone.

“It sure is” I say as I inspect my nails thoroughly “I’m just afraid of the goodbye again” 

Eric turns his head and watches me intensely as I continue to try and look anywhere but in his direction. He takes one of my hands in his and that makes sure I have no other excuse so I have to look his direction. 

“Hey it’s going to be alright.” and he gives a kiss on my hand “I promise” he says making me smile. 

“I know” I say with false optimism in my voice but I’m glad he keeps my hand in his. I’m beginning to recognise the surroundings “we’re almost there”.

“Yup” Eric says and the rest of the drive continues in silence but he only lets go of my hand when we get to the building and he needs to park.

_ Eric’s POV _

Letting go of her hand to park the car I feel a lot more nervous again. I look over at her before I get out of the car and she gives me a small smile. When we get out of the car I try to keep my calm but I’m losing it already. Walking towards the building she suddenly stops.

“Eric I’m scared” she says with a nervous chuckle. I hate seeing her like this so I wrap my arm around her hoping it will calm her a little. Like her touch does to me.

“It’s going to be alright, he’s your uncle” I tell her, she looks at me with those doe like eyes that see right through me. “I should be scared from what you’ve told me.” I add with a short laugh. Her lips curl up into a smile.

“Aah it’s just, I’m nervous. Please don’t be offended by him he can really sound like a jerk but he’s just” and I cut through.

“Very to the point and all business. I know baby” I say before kissing her head “we’ve been over this a million times, I’ll do everything I can to be normal” I say with a smile. She rolls her eyes making me smile. Like only she can. God if only she knew how scared I am.

“You and normal, come on let's not expect the impossible here” she says trying not to smile. 

“Thanks that really helps” I say feeling a little more insecure. I fucking hate how easily I’m kicked down. She knows, I swear to god she knows because she moves to stand in front of me now letting her hands run up to my face. Making my heart work like crazy to keep up. 

“I’m sorry liefje” she tells me before she tips on her toes and gives me a kiss. Instinctively my hands go to her waist and I pull her in. She makes me feel like a boss when she kisses me like that. I break the kiss and look at her gorgeous face up close. “We will be fine, together” she says before she boops my nose with her finger. I can’t help but smile, she calms me. 

“Together” I say to her. She smiles and takes my hand.

“Together” she repeats and then we step into the building. It looks really hospital like, white high walls with a disgusting smell. We go to the elevator and up to the floor Jack told her to meet him. Her hand is starting to squeeze mine like she did before prom. Stepping in to the elevator she presses the button to the floor we need to go and looks at me.

“Okay I’m dying I’m so nervous to see him again” she says as soon as we’re moving up. 

“I know baby” 

“How do you know?” she asks me.

“Because you’re breaking my hand again” I say laughing to her holding our hands up.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry” she says letting go of my hand.

“No no, keep holding it. Break it if that helps you” I encourage her to keep holding on to me. She tilts her head and smiles.

“Don’t be silly, I don’t want to hurt you.” she says but then the elevator comes to a halt and her eyes go wide. Slowly she turns her eyes away from me. The doors open and a lady behind a desk greets us immediately.

“Hello, you must be Y/n Le Temps” she says as she shakes y/n’s hand. I feel my goddamn heart in my throat, Jack is somewhere close and he scares the shit out of me because he knows everything about me. I hate being so exposed.

“Yes I am and this is Eric Harris” she says introducing me, the lady extends her hand to me. I shake it firm and short. Like my father taught me. 

“Hello, Eric Harris” I say to her.

“Hi mr Harris, Jack told me to send you two in as soon you arrived.” she says pointing at the door to her right. Beside me y/n doesn’t waste another second and she bolts to the door. I walk up behind her but wait as she opens the door. The tall, dark haired man from the video stands up from behind his desk and smiles but shows no teeth. He gets up from around his desk and embraces y/n as she wraps her arms around him. The way he holds her shows how much he loves her. 

“Jack, ik dacht dat ik je nooit meer zou zien” she says in Dutch probably or French. I look at them and feel like the outsider, again. Standing here with all that’s yet to come makes me feel like this is a goddamn movie. 

He laughs and stands up straight. He looks at her into her eyes and says “well you were wrong” in a very calm voice. He lets go of her and ads “it’s very good to see you, you look well.” Then his focus shifts to me, his face closes up to a firm look and he steps around her. I feel my back straighten up. “You must be Eric Harris.” he says while he gives me his hand to shake. Firm and short I shake his hand while he almost crushes every bone in mine. 

“Yes sir that is correct” I say nothing more. 

“Take a seat, both of you” Jack says pointing at the chairs before his desk. I see how her demeanor changed as well after he let her go. She went from niece to employee in no time. I take her chair out for her and she smiles at me briefly. “Right let’s get to why we’re here” he says taking out a folder which he opens. 

“Yes sir” she says to him. 

“There are multiple ways to go about this conversation but there is a core decision that needs to be made by you mr Harris. So I purpose we talk about that before anything else.” Jack pauses briefly and looks at us, he is a poised man. His hands folded together on top of the folder making him look like the villain in every movie trying to sound like the good guy. I shift uncomfortable in my seat and see y/n react to it by looking at me but my eyes are on her uncle.

“Mr Harris, John Le Temps has got the council to agree with the possibility of you leaving 1999 as you are to come with Y/n Le Temps, his daughter to the time she is originally from. I am sure you are aware that, that time is 2020 and that miss Le Temps has informed you of this option.” again he pauses.

“Yes sir, she did inform me.” I tell him. He nods his head.

“Good. I will leave the technical side of this be, for now, but what I will explain is how that would go in terms of your exit from this time. There are a couple of options.” he says without flinching, as if this is the most mundane conversation ever. “We can inform your parents of time travel and have them sign a non disclosure agreement with the agency. Then in that option there is the choice between seeing them again in 2020 with them having lived and aged 21 years without you or you decide to never see them again in 2020. Is that clear to you?” Jack asks me. Give me some time to process this all asshole, I feel like a cornered animal but I answer him still. 

“Yes sir” I tell him while I look at y/n. She looks at me with the sweetest expression, she knows how this feels. The burden of these choices, yet she was strong enough to choose me. 

“Then there are other options. One is where you do not tell them about the fact that you will travel through time and say that you’re going to Europe with y/n and break contact. Least desirable but possible nonetheless we fake your death and leave them with the thought that you’re gone.” Jack says while he leans back in his chair crossing his arms. He looks at me as if he expects an answer right away. Again I look aside to find her eyes.

“It’s okay Eric you have time to think about it” she says placing her hand on my arm. 

“Yes you do although no more then one week, less is fine of course.” he says like it’s nothing. What the fuck is wrong with this guy.

“One week?” I say looking at him “that’s all I get?” 

“Unfortunately time is of the essence and I cannot stay for much longer.” he says but then his eyes change and I see him looking at his niece beside me. I face her and see her pull a face that I hope she’ll never give me. “I will see what I can do about giving more time but I can’t guarantee they will give me more” he tells her.

“Thank you, sir” she says in the same tone of voice as him and I swear he looks proud.

“Yes thank you, sir” I say as well. “The other option is y/n staying here right?” I ask him.

“That is correct and there will be help and rewards for both options provided by the agency.” he tells me “but let us not waste time by talking about those before you have made your decision, shall we meet as soon as you have decided?” Jack asks looking at me.

“What do you think?” I ask y/n, she’s been quiet this whole time.

“I think that would be the best thing. You think it over and when you’ve decided we call mr Le Temps to finalize everything.” she says so calmly but with an encouraging smile on her face. 

“Alright then that’s what we will do” I say to Jack while my mind is already racing. How the hell am I supposed to decide all this in one week? 

_ Your POV. _

I see Eric struggling already in his chair as he tells Jack that he agrees with the idea to meet again for the rest of the details. 

“Good, I will give you my card.” Jack says extending his hand with the card in it to Eric, who takes it after a slight hesitation. “You can contact me at any time and if I manage to get you extra time I will let y/n know.” 

“Alright” Eric says. 

Jack turns to look at me and I see his face soften up, a happy familiar smile graces his face and for a second I feel like I’m home. “Your father gave me this to give to you.” and Jack hands me a letter. I look at the envelope and see my dads handwriting. It only takes a second for me to choke up. My eyes fixated on my name on the envelope I ask Jack.

“How is he?” 

“John is back in the company and doing very well. Every second we spend together not working he talks about you. He misses you more than I can put into words.” Jack says with a much softer voice. I let out a single laugh. A bitter one.

“Well time will tell if we get to meet again.” I say looking at Jack with tears in my eyes but determination in my voice. Looking to the side I see Eric picking on the skin next to his thumb on his right hand. A visible scar of the past months. 

“Indeed it will” Jack says as he gets up. “I will call you later to see if we can meet up in private.” at these words Eric finally looks away from my uncle to find my eyes. 

“I will answer” I tell him with a smile as I get up simultaneously with Eric. I turn around to get to the door, right now Jack is on the job so this is goodbye for now. Eric opens the door for me “thank you” I tell him.

“Oh and y/n” Jack says and I turn around with Eric right next to me.

“Yes” 

“Happy birthday” Jack tells me with a kind expression but no smile. 

“Thank you” and I turn back around and walk straight to the elevator. Eric seems to be in the same hurry that I am. Once we’re in the elevator I feel like I can finally breathe again properly.

“Okay what the fuck did just happen?” Eric says looking at me like he’s completely lost in his own mind. 

“You met Jack, that’s what happened” I say rubbing my eyes with my hands. “I tried to warn you but there is no real preparation” and I laugh. “Did you hear him say that about my dad? I mean he cuts me off completely and then he does this.” I say with the same bitterness in my voice. Eric just looks at me. “Works for the company again, misses me. Puts you on the spot like he did.” I scoff. I look down on the letter “giving me this after two years of silence” 

“You’re angry” he says and I turn to look at him. The elevator comes to a halt and the doors open. 

“Yeah” I say with a smile on my face. “I’m sorry I don’t want to bother you, you have enough on your plate as it is. You get drenched in all these crazy options and here I am blabbing on about my issues” I add while we walk out of the building. 

“Hey you stop talking like that. You’re never a bother. I want to be here for you. It’s been about me for the past weeks. Give yourself a break.” He says looking at me with a sweet smile that doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Let's just get away from here” I say to end this conversation.

“Sounds like a plan” he says before we both get in his car. The first 15 minutes of the drive we’re both too invested in our own thoughts. “You know, in Princess’s cafe I said that maybe I should come to your time remember?” Eric says breaking the silence. 

“Yes I remember” I say looking at him. His eyes are on the road and his right hand was resting on his leg. I place my hand over his and he briefly looks at me with a smile. 

“I’m really thinking it’s a solid option” eyes still out on the road. “There is no new beginning cleaner than this” 

After a slight hesitation I say “true but you need to really let it sink in what this means” 

“I know it’s not easy, I’ll think about it real good” and he brings up my hand to kiss it. 

“Everytime you kiss my hand it makes my heart melt, do you know that?” I let him know. He smiles, kisses my hand again and says.

“No I didn't but it’s good to know” he says with a smile. The rest of the ride is comfortable but I can’t help but spend all the time with my dad and Dylan in my head. I want to talk to Eric about it but I have no idea how to begin. “Do you have anything in mind you want to do or shall I just drop you off and see you tomorrow?” Eric asks shaking me out of my thoughts.

“I want to check in on Robyn” I say to him “see how she’s holding up. Let’s do that together.” I think that’s the best start to bring up Dylan with him. Eric looks at me and I can see the doubt in his eyes. 

“If that's what you want, sure” he says trying to please me. It doesn’t really matter why he’ll do it to me. I just want him to think of Dylan as his friend and what better way to do that then to visit another friend. And so Eric drives us to Robyn.

Here we are, hand in hand in front of her door. I extend my hand to knock. After a short wait the door opens, it’s her father again.

“Hello mr Anderson” I say politely.

“Hello y/n was it? Eric good to see you.” he answers.

“Yes sir that’s right” I tell him and Eric says “likewise”. 

“I uhm we want to check in on Robyn if that’s okay” I tell her father. 

“I’ll go ask, she’s outside in the yard.” this time he leaves the door open. I look at Eric and he’s very closed off. He’s holding my hand but that’s the extend of our contact right now. Her father returns and with a smile he says “she’d love to see you”. So we walk in and through the living room, the chair that Dylan sat in the last time we were here burns a hole into my heart. Outside I see Robyn greeting me with a small smile as she stands up.

“Hey friend” I say as I walk into her open arms. “I wanted to see you” 

“Y/n I’m glad you came” and she lets me go to walk over to Eric who looks very uncomfortable. “Eric” she says as she hugs him. His hands rest awkwardly on her back and he looks at me.

“Hi Robyn, how are you holding up?” he asks her. She lets go of him and motions for us to sit next to her on the chairs. We do so and then she tells us how she’s been.

“Uhm not so great. I’ve been to my doctor to get something for the nights. I keep having these nightmares and I can’t sleep.” she says openly. 

“Ah honey.” I say with a sympathetic smile. 

“How about you Eric? Are you okay?” she asks him. Eric looks at his hands and is picking on that same spot he did when we spoke to Jack. He sighs.

“I don’t know. It’s all a little much. I feel numb you know.” he says without looking at us. 

“Yeah like it doesn’t feel real. I cried all day yesterday and today I feel numb like you” she tells him. He looks up. 

“You do?” he asks her. She nods yes. 

“I keep thinking that if I just go back to school he’ll be there.” Robyn explains further. “Like he can’t really be gone” 

Eric’s eyes alternate between her and me now and he leans back in his seat. He furrows his brows and opens his mouth but nothing comes out so he closes it again. He hunched over forward again. 

“It’s rough. When I lost my mom my uncle told me that grief is the most unnatural natural process there is. That even though it’s the hardest thing to go through we’re designed to cope.” both of them look at me. 

“What did you do to get through it?” Robyn asks me while she pulls up her legs and hugs them. 

“It was a lot different for me. My mom left when I was 11 and we learned she was dead when I was 13. So I’d been living with uncertainty for so long that it almost felt like a relief to have something solid to go from.” I admit.

“Jesus” Eric says looking at me with intense eyes. 

“That sounds horrible.” Robyn tells me.

“Yeah and you know what, I felt so incredible guilty for feeling that relief in that moment.” I pause shortly and look at Eric before I continue “when I was 19 I struggled with certain things. It was a couple of months before I came here actually.” Eric’s eyes are piercing right through mine as we lock eyes. “I had a rough time dealing with my dad not talking to me and the fact that my departure from home came so close. I felt like I was abandoning everyone, like my mom had done. But someone close to me told me that my future shouldn’t have to depend on my past.” I stop talking realizing that I’ve gone completely off track. “I’m sorry this has nothing to do with what you asked me. I don’t know why I said all this.” 

“I think I know why” Eric says to me.

“You do?” 

“My mom said something, she said that she thinks you miss your mom and family a lot.” Eric tells me with care in his voice. Now I’m the one looking down. “And seeing Jack today and all.” he ads. I nod my head.

“Yeah you and your mom are right” I say with a soft voice. 

“Maybe instead of y/n staying here you should go with her” Robyn says to Eric. I look at Eric and then we both look at her. “Yeah explore Europe with her, everyone knows how much you hate Littleton” Robyn continues. I let out a nervous chuckle and raise my hands to place them behind my head.

“Who knows, maybe I will.” Eric says calmly. I’m wrestling through a mix of emotions right now and when I turn to look at Robyn and see that signature sweet smile of hers it doesn’t get any better. She has no idea that if Eric goes with me, she’ll never talk to either of us again, which breaks my heart for her. I cannot deny, not even to myself that I would want nothing more then to take Eric with me. Although I’d never say that to convince him to come. I need him to want it without my interference. 

“Robyn I need you to know something” I tell her.

“What is that?” she asks.

“With the generosity of the guy in the photoshop I already have an album for you ready.” I see her eyes sadden. “The pictures came out pretty well and some are. Well some are just beautiful.” I tell her. She takes a deep breath and I see her eyes glistening in the sun. 

“Thank you” she says with a small voice. Then Eric does something I never expected him to do. He places his hand on Robyns arm. She too looks surprised. 

“I couldn’t look at them” he states. He retracts his hand and licks his lips. “It was Dylan and me for so long. Now it’s not anymore.” 

His words make both me and Robyn very emotional and we look at each other understanding how hurt we all are. Them more so than me.

“Anyway, I’ll bring over the album she made whenever you want to. Anytime you want.” Eric tells Robyn.

“Thank you, Eric. You too y/n.” Robyn says and her voice is getting a bit shaky. 

“You’re more than welcome. Listen, Robyn I have a cellphone now. I’m going to leave you the number, call me whenever. At any time.” I tell her when I get up. Both Eric and Robyn get up as well. She walks inside before us and Eric places his hand on my back as we walk in behind her. She hands me a piece of paper and a pen. While I write down my number I start to feel exhausted by the day. Giving her the paper she smiles. 

“Who is Jack?” she asks as if she only just now processed everything we said. 

“He is my uncle, he’s here for a little while.” I tell her with a smile. 

“Oh okay. You must be happy he’s here” 

“I’m not really happy at the moment” I admit to her. She smiles gently. 

“Yeah me neither” she say. 

“But we will be happy again” Eric says making us both turn to him. My brows raised in surprise to his words. A new side of Eric I hadn’t seen much with others surfaces. 

“What a strange day that will be” Robyn says sounding miserable. I walk up to her and give her a tight hug. 

“Rest up, take a shower do normal stuff. I’ll see you again soon” I tell her while I hold her. She nods and says “take care”. Eric then gives her a hug as well. 

“I guess I’ll see you Friday” Robyn says to Eric while he hugs her.

“Friday?” Eric asks.

“Dylan’s funeral is on Friday.” Robyn says with a small voice. Eric just nods but says nothing. I place my hand briefly on Robyn’s shoulder before we leave her be. Eric’s whole posture changed after she mentioned his funeral. He’s distant all the way back to my motel room. Opening my door Eric does not walk in like he usually does. 

“Eric?” I ask looking his way. 

“I think I’m going to go home” he answers. 

“Are you okay?” I ask him while I walk back to the door. Eric doesn’t look at me. 

“I don’t know” and he walks up to me to give me a kiss. His hands pull me closer while his soft lips find their way into my neck. He ends up nuzzling my neck while he holds me. He places his chin on my shoulder and tells me “I just thought we’d go a different path but maybe be able to be friends some way or another.” 

I let my hands run up to his shoulders and press my face down in his neck. 

“But now it’s always gonna be the last fights I’ll think about” I feel him take a deep breath after he says so. I pull my face out of his neck and try to face him, he feels what I’m doing and holds me as he now locks eyes with me. 

“I know it’s a bitch of a cliche but it will get better it just takes a lot of effort and time to get there.” I tell him. Eric scrunches his nose and then says.

“But it’s been so.” he looks down and licks his lips “I mean what we planned to do.” he shakes his head “and now he never”. That’s when he takes a step back. “Listen I’m gonna go and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Okay baby, promise to take it easy?” I ask with a pout. He knows he can’t resist to smile.

“If you put that pout away I will” he says making me smile a little. 

“Deal. Oh and here take this” I walk over to the desk and write my number on a piece of paper that I rip out of my notebook. “Call me whenever” I say as I hand him the paper. Eric takes the paper from my hand. 

“A hot girl giving me her number” he tries to joke but it’s coming out all flat. 

“Go home, drive safe” I tell him, he nods then turns around to go to his car. It pains me to see him like this. He waves before he drives off. Three and a half hours later the phone on my desk rings. Looking at the screen I recognise Eric’s number.

“Hey Eric” I say softly.

“Hey gorgeous” he answers “I have a question” 

“Ask away” 

“Will you go to Dylan’s funeral with me?” his question has me sit back down on the bed. “Please” he even ads. 

“If that’s what you want. I will go with you.” I say while my eyes close and everything in me tells me not to.

“Thank you, I’d hate to go there without you.” he sounds relieved by my answer. “My mom made me ask if you need to get some clothes for the occasion?” 

“No I have a formal black outfit here that I just realised I completely forgot to wear today to see Jack.” I say to Eric a little absentmindedly. 

“Okay then we don’t have to go shopping again. Yay for that” he says.

“You don’t like shopping with me?” I ask him insulted.

“I don’t like shopping” he says with a soft chuckle. 

“Me neither actually” 

“You don’t like shopping? Well you learn something new everyday” Eric says jokingly.

“Hmm. True, do you know we actually don’t know shit about each other?” I ask him.

“You know too much about me” he says making me laugh.

“In a way” I say still laughing “oh did you know that Papillon is one of my favorite books as well?” 

“You read Papillon?” Eric asks excited about that fact.

“Yeah I did only I have to admit I did it after the movie remake with Charlie Hunnam came out” 

“Who is Charlie Hunnam?” Eric asks.

“Jackson Teller” I say to him.

“What?” he asks confused.

“Charlie is an actor and his iconic role is Jackson Teller” I chuckle “you’d love Sons of Anarchy” and I make myself comfortable on my bed getting under the covers even.

“Are you in bed?” Eric asks curiously.

“Yes” 

“I kinda wanna ask you what you’re wearing” he says cheekily.

“Don’t, you should ask about Sons of Anarchy” I tell him smiling into the phone.

“Tell me about Sons of Anarchy, I like the name” he asks.

“I bet so” 

“Don’t do that” he says laughing.

“Do what?” I ask innocently.

“Copy my words like that” 

“I’m not copying your words” I say teasing him.

“Oh shit you’re in a mood again.” he says annoyed but he laughs.

“Yeah it’s a whole ass mood” I say using 2020 lingo.

“Sweet jesus here we go” Eric says waking up a side of me he knows but no to this extend. We talk on the phone all through the first part of the night together. The first time silences increase I look at the clock, it’s 3:30. Remembering he has school that’s when Eric tells me we should probably hang up.

“We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love” I sing to him. 

“And she sings” Eric states with his voice sounding more tired with every letter.

“Yeah you like that?” I say feeling myself getting drowsy. 

“I was thinking something along the lines of hanging up even faster” his sleepy chuckle taking a place for itself in my heart.

“Rude Harris” 

“Goodnight beautiful” 

“Sleep tight liefje” 

“I love you like a lot” Eric says with a small voice.

“I think I love you more.” 

“Impossible, bye baby” 

I chuckle and say “goodnight”. Hanging up the phone I look at the display and see there’s not even a dent made in the battery “damn” I whisper before I fall asleep. Still unaware of how Dylan would be haunting my dreams that night. The first thing I’d think the next morning is how the horrible nightmares where a fitting ending to that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of the Dutch sentence the reader says to Jack: Jack, I thought I'd never see you again.


	27. We all love Dylan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello amazing readers, do you all know how much I appreciate you? Because I really, really do. Here's a n ew chapter!
> 
> Also I might react less fast to comments because I'm super busy but I see you all <3

Standing in front of the mirror my hands are moving in slow motion. The bags under my eyes really heavy after these past horrible nights. I watch my fingers create the bun they’re so familiar with and I think about her. In particular how her funeral went, she was the last and only funeral I had gone to before today. Technically we buried an empty casket but it was symbolic. Today however the casket isn’t empty. My heart is filled with the anxiety of whether it’s going to be open or not. A sigh escapes my lips as I begin to try and cover up the bags, if only for the people around me. I come from a loving family but we’re also used to being strong, for others even more so. Leave it up to a Le Temps to open their hands for yours in time of need. I don’t feel like being strong for anyone but I have to. This was never just a mission, he was never a mission no matter how hard I tried to fool myself on the first day when I was standing in front of Columbine High school. I loved him before he knew my name but I wasn’t prepared for how that love would change ones I had held him in my arms. That moment in the parking lot after my horrible fight with Dylan. When he held me I felt a love so strong I cannot even begin to put into words. Dylan. I crushed him that day. Contributed to the awfulness that was surrounding him in that school. I wonder if I’ll ever forgive myself. The warm tear over my cheek wants to tell me that I won’t. Quickly I wipe it away and put on the rest of my formal outfit so I can finally abandon my reflection in the mirror. I put my keys in my pocket and have to get out of this room, I can no longer be alone with my thoughts. When I get outside I see Eric sitting in his car, his head back and his eyes closed. I close the door behind me and sit on the two step stairs in front of my door. He stays seated the way he is, quietly lost in his own thoughts. I watch him and feel a smile form on my lips as I do so. He’s wearing a white blouse for what I can see. His hands go up to the wheel. I can see how tight his grip is because his fingers turn pale, his jaw clenches. He’s struggling. Then he opens his eyes and meets mine instantly. The grip loosens and his face looks less tightened up as well. Slowly he opens his door to come out. I get up and walk towards him. 

“You staring at me. Not creepy at all” Eric tells me. 

“Eh I try” I say giving him a timid smile. “Hey babe” I say as I walk into his arms. His hand goes up to hold me under my bun “hey baby” he says close to my ear. I wrap my arms around him and never want to let him go. “Let's get you some coffee before we go yeah?” he asks me, all I do is nod on his shoulder. “Come on” he says placing his arms around me, rubbing my arm. We make our way to the coffee place and when we get in one of my favorite Littleton faces greets us, a lot less abundant than usual when she sees our postures. 

“Hello beautiful couple, it’s been a good couple of days.” she says. I smile and Eric answers.

“Yes it has.” 

“You look like you can use a good cup of coffee” she says sympathetically. 

“That bad huh?” I ask trying to sound a little less dim.

“Bad enough for me to tell you, your order is on the house” she says kindly. Eric smiles at her telling her he wants a hot chocolate. “Coming right up sugar” she says turning around to get our order ready. We take a seat somewhere random and both sit down with a sigh. 

“Did you sleep better than yesterday?” Eric asks worried. 

I shake my head “nope, even worse” 

“Yeah me too, I can’t believe we’re actually on our way to his funeral.” Eric says looking at his folded hands before him. 

“Me neither” and I unlace his hands to hold them in mine. His expression changes into one less gloomy if only for a short while. She comes with our order and two pieces of pie. 

“Here you go, eat it. Both of you” she orders. 

“Thank you” I say but before she can leave I ad “hey can I ask what your real name is?”. She looks at me and then to Eric. 

“My name is Alice, sweetheart.” and she leaves our table before I can say anything. 

“Alice, what a sweet name for such a character” Eric says and I can’t help but snicker. “What I meant no offence” 

“It was the tone you used, Alice what a sweet name for such a character” I say mimicking him. He bends his head to the side and says “I didn't sound like that” semi offended. 

“Yes you did” I tell him, his cheeks get a little red, I wonder if he’s embarrassed. 

“Eat your pie woman” he says digging into his. With a smile I do as he says, she gave me pecan pie but there’s hardly any flavor to it. Eric keeps looking at his watch and the second we’ve finished our food we get up to go. But before we leave Eric puts 10 bucks in the tip jar. Alice looks at him and then at me and says. 

“He has a good heart girl, hold onto him” making Eric shy.

“I intend to” I tell her with a smile. We go outside and I say to Eric “oh wait a second” and I walk back in. “Hey Alice” I say and she turns to face me.

“Yes dear?” 

“When he asks me, whenever that is I’m going to say yes” and I smile wide when I see she does too. Stepping outside Eric’s waiting for me with a frown on his face. “What did you do?” he asks.

“I just needed her to know something” I say taking his hand in mine as we walk to his car and the second we step in we realize there is only one place to go for us right now. That is to the funeral home. It doesn’t take long for us to get there and it’s already packed with cars. “Oh my god” I say looking at people walking into the funeral home. Eric says nothing and just parks the car. When we get out he walks over to me to take my hand. His hand is shaking. Looking at his face I see he’s doing his best to keep a straight face. We walk in where we’re greeted by someone who points us to the coat rack and the bathroom. Right after we thank him we’re hit with the first of many blows. On a table with a black cloth over it stands a big picture of Dylan, he’s looking down a bit and has a smile on his face. A large candle on each side of his face and in front of it a guestbook to sign. I look at Eric and he walks over to the book and picks up the pen. In wavering scribbles he writes down our two names. When I look closer I see he signed me down as Y/n Le Temps and I feel my heart skipping several beats. Dylan’s smile on the picture burns a hole into that same heart. As we walk further in we see flowers adorning the platform where Dylan will be brought to when it all begins. I look around me to see Robyn but instead my eyes find faces I’ve never met before but became so familiar with. Brooks and Nate. I quickly avert my eyes. Then I see Zack and Devon sitting, he’s crying. So is she. “My parents are over there, they saved us a seat” Eric whispers to me. I follow him and see his parents. His father is dressed in a suit and his mother wears an appropriate dark colored set. “Mom, dad” Eric says quietly to his parents. They look up with sad eyes but smile when they see Eric. Both of them get up. 

“Hi son” his dad says as he gives Eric a short hug to greet him. His mom holds him tighter and longer. “Hello sweetheart” and I can hear the relief in her voice that she’s still able to hold her son. I look down and try to gather my thoughts. They are all over the place. I feel the eyes of his parents on me. “Hello honey” his mother says to me, I look up and meet her sweet eyes. “Mrs Harris” I say with a small smile. She gives me a hug as well, tight but shorter. Right now there is nothing more that I want then a longer hug from her. She makes way so her husband can greet me. He gives me a short smile before he gives me a slightly awkward hug. “Hello Y/n, how are you?” he asks kindly.

“I’m okay given the circumstances” suprisingly I manage to sound like I’m not lying. He nods and that’s when we all sit down. There is room for more on our row and I wonder if Robyn might sit here with her parents. Not long after my thoughts a couple and one son takes place next to us. I hear the doors through which we came close behind me. After a short pause we hear other doors open and a man walks in whom I recognise as Don Marxhausen as music starts to play. My eyes widen, he’s leading his service even today, 21 years ago he did the same thing only the date would be tomorrow. Then I see some heads turning and soft footsteps approach us. I hardly dare to look but I do. My eyes find Dylan’s father, his brother and four people I do not recognise guiding Dylan in a brown casket to the front. Followed closely by his mother, who looks inconsolable in the arms of a loved one. A few close family members follow them to the front. They place Dylan in front of all of us. In the centre of our attention they open the casket. Eric beside me tenses up completely, his hand is starting to sweat in mine and when I look at him I see shock on his face. I feel my eyes sting as I turn my attention back to the beautiful boy who left too soon. My eyes drop in my lap as the first words of the ceremonie are spoken, with a warming and calm voice. He talks of God and love, words of comfort for everyone who loves Dylan. How we, as one will get through this and that the pain that we’re feeling is a testimony of how we felt great love and care for Dylan. He addresses Dylan’s parents and brother, how he wants them to find comfort in each other and God in this difficult time. My eyes wander over the people, some cry, young children look semi bored and then I find Robyn. She’s sitting in between her parents with Mike and his parents next to her who I think are chaperoning Erik because he sits there too. Her face is red and tearstained, as if she feels me watching she turns around and locks eyes with me. We send what little comfort we can to each other in soft and caring smiles. The ceremony is wonderful. A great mixture of personal stories by his loved ones and talk of believe by Don. Throughout the ceremony I’ve exchanged looks with Eric. He never let go of my hand and it’s been hard at times to read him but it’s painfully clear how hard it is on him. To be here and to see his friend so unnaturally still. Right before the end of this part of the funeral it hits me. “No beanie babies” I whisper at this realisation. Eric moves closer and whispers “what?” and I shake my head “never mind” and he sits back straight up again. The last sentences of the ceremony are the hardest.

“The family would like to give you all a moment of goodbye with Dylan, if you would all form a line and give each other the time we all need, that would be greatly appreciated. After every one who wants to say goodbye is ready we can all gather together to remember Dylan in the designated room down the hall.” 

Eric and I look at each other and he whispers “I aint doing that”. His mother places her hand on his arm and says “honey I know it’s hard but I think it would be good for you to say your goodbyes.” he shakes no as he starts to look at his hands. I place my hand over his. Eric looks up at me. 

“Your mom is right. I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom and that’s been the hardest part that I still struggle with.” I tell him honestly. His eyes close and I can see he’s fighting through the confliction in his head. People are already forming a line and I dare not to look who is next to Dylan. 

“Okay, I’ll go up there” Eric says and his mom tells him she thinks “it’s a wise decision”. Then he looks at me. “Are you going to say goodbye?” 

I let my eyes go up where he is. People pass him in a slow pace. “Yes I am” I tell him determined. I need to tell Dylan how sorry I am, that I failed him. He has to know that I know. Eric and I nod to each other and get up together. His parents will meet us in the other space we’re going to after. He lets go of my hand and places his arm around my waist as we walk up to the end of the line. Walking gets heavier with every step and when I see Robyn approach the casket I turn my head at the speed of lightning. I can’t handle seeing her say goodbye to the boy she cares for so deeply. We do not speak but instead listen to all the hushed voices around us. Some say how much they loved the service. Others talk about how tragic it all is. Then Eric says “penny for your thoughts”. I look up and say “that cheap huh” he shakes his head and rubs my back. “If I’m honest I’m in a small room in my head and several thoughts keep bouncing back and forth, hitting me in the face every time” I tell him. 

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault” Eric says looking at the floor. The line moves again and we’re getting much closer to Dylan now. I wonder how he means his words but now is not the time to ask because we’re about to step up. I’m beginning to struggle to breath again and I fear I might get a panic attack if I do not regain control again. The last two people in front of us, his face already clear as day before us. My heart is beating out of my chest and I feel like my courage will fail me after all I’ve been through in the past weeks.  _ It’s the most unnatural natural thing we have to deal with in life and yet we know how to cope with it, with loss. And we are Le Temps, we can get through anything. Say it with me, we are Le Temps.  _ My father's voice resonates in my head as I stand here thinking of my mother with a bleeding heart for Dylan. This is it. Our goodbye is here. Eric’s hand drops down to take mine. Together we now stand directly in front of Dylan’s lifeless body. I’m not crying, I thought I would but I’m not. He looks peaceful almost. I bend forward a little and whisper so only Dylan can hear “I will always be sorry I couldn’t save you. Be at peace in your own infinite halcyon” His face unchanged by my words, his curls still as soft as before, I allow myself to ever so gently run my finger over a little curl next to his ear before I tell him goodbye in my head and step aside so Eric can meet alone with his friend for the last time. Waiting near Dylan’s feet I watch Eric stand beside him. His mouth doesn’t move but his face says it all. He licks his lips, his head falls down and a few tears roll over his cheek. The lump in my throat is gaining territory with every second I look at these two boys, together for the last time. The smallest of light that can be found in my mind right now is that Dylan’s parents will be able to grief as they should, supported and showered with love. Without the horrific legacy he almost left behind. No one will ever know and Dylan will always be loved and cherished by everyone gathered here today. No one will ever say his name and think monster. Eric comes my way and quickly moves his sleeve over his cheek. When he reaches me I place my arm around his waist and together we walk into the next part of this grim day. 

Immediately we start to search for Robyn, Mike and Erik. Like always before long Mike spots me but his reaction is modest and he just waves us over. “Here we go” I say to Eric who looks at me but stays quiet. Walking over there Robyn comes up to me and hugs me. 

“You made it” she says with a little voice.

“Of course” I tell her. When we let go of each other I walk over to Mike who has a small smile on his face. “Hey Mike, I’m so sorry for your loss” I tell him while I give him a hug.

“Thanks Sprinkles” he says timidly but holds me longer than usual. As I let go I see Eric doing the same with Robyn. Erik walks over to his friend first.

“I can’t believe our buddy is gone” Mike says as soon as everyone has greeted each other and we all face one another. 

“Young people aren’t supposed to go like that” Erik says. 

“What is that suppose to mean?” Robyn asks a little defensive.

“I mean so young” Erik tells her. She nods. Eric still isn’t talking. 

“Lets go get a drink for everyone” I tell Eric and he finally breaks silence.

“Sure” and together we walk over to get everyone a soda. 

“Babe how are you hanging in there?” I ask Eric seriously worried about him. He looks at me as we walk up to the bar. 

“I don’t know” he admits to me. I place my hand on his cheek and kiss his other cheek flighty. With the drinks in hand we go back to everyone. They all take their drinks and Mike proposes a toast to Dylan. 

“To Dylan” we all say. “May he rest happy and chase the dream up wherever he is” Mike says surprising us all. Robyn looks at him with a brow raised. “What, you guys really think there is zero depth to me don’t you?” he asks semi insulted. 

“Eh you said it” I say with a small smile, earning a chuckle from Robyn. “Maybe if you show this side more we will never make that mistake again” I continue. Mike looks a little offended and I hope I didn't step over a line here today. 

“Yeah who knows, I might try it” Mike says with a smile. 

“Did I just really hear that?” Eric says suddenly, probably extremely relieved the tension is broken if only for a minute. Mike sighs.

“There are a lot of adults here, dude. I can’t even flip you off” Mike says, we’re all laughing softly now.

“Mike ain't so bad” Robyn says winking at me. 

“Just depends on whether he’s a sleep or not” Eric says. 

“Okay when did it become trash Mike hour?” Mike asks with his hands in the air. We stop the trashing and start to talk about other things. Until we can no longer avoid the inevitable and the conversation comes back to Dylan. Memories that here with all off us together hurt less come up and we smile a lot. I listen mostly of course but when Mike says something that’s even familiar for me I can’t help but choke up a little. “Remember when we filmed the Car Wax commercial?” Mike asks looking at Eric and Erik. “When he dropped the computer screen and completely missed the bike” he laughs and so does Erik. 

“Yeah he wasn’t happy, remember him going all Gaawd” Eric says to his friends. “He hated messing shit up” he continues. 

“He was a painful perfectionist. Nothing was ever good enough.” Robyn says looking at me “except when we’d study calculus, damn he was the worst slacker in the history of slackers. Especially the last few months. Seriously he looked as if he couldn’t care less about his grades and still he got into Arizona uni” she says shaking her head.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick” Eric says with a slight panic in his voice. I look up at him “are you okay?” I ask him. He smiles and bends down to kiss my lips shortly. “Yeah” he says shortly before he walks away. I watch him leave with a pit in my stomach. 

“Have you guys heard that Eric might go to Europe with Y/n?” Robyn says all of a sudden. I turn to look at her and give her a look that says I-doubt-it. 

“Are you kidding me?” Mike says taking Eric’s chair and sitting down next to me. I raise my finger and place it in front of my lips.

“Sssh his parents are around.” I tell him.

“So it’s true then” Mike says.

“I mean no, well perhaps. We’ve talked about it but only a little. Nothing is decided yet.” 

“Well what the hell. You’re taking Satan to raise his spawn with him in Europe.” Mike says making me facepalm myself. 

“Mike” I make out through the laughter. The three of them look so good with a smile on their faces. After today it might be awhile before they laugh this heartily.

“What I’m just happy, this means I don’t have to leave the continent” making me laugh again. “Speak of the devil” and he nudges his head so we look behind me. There comes Eric again. He walks up to us looking around him a little. When he comes to a halt he blinks a few time, not expecting to be in the centre of attention. 

“Did I miss something?” he asks.

“I just told the boys that you might trade us in for new friends in Europe” Robyn says with a small smile on her face.

Eric starts to look around “not so loud my parents are here” 

“Oh my god you two really are meant for each other” Mike says “she just said the exact same thing” and he chuckles. Eric looks at me and licks his lips.

“Yeah she’s definitely my soulmate” and he leans in and gives me a kiss “so yeah leaving for Europe is a real option, I’m seriously considering it”.

His words make my heart jump in ways it hasn’t done before. My father’s letter pops into my head. I haven’t read it, I can’t. 

“Y/n would you mind if we left?” Eric asks sounding very anxious. 

“Are you sure?” I ask him and then I look at his friends. They all shrug. 

“Yeah if you don’t mind, I’d really like to go.” he sounds very serious. I get up and say “okay, let’s go then.” With a kind hearted smile I look at the rest. They get up and we say our not so definite goodbyes. When I hold Robyn I tell her “I’ll visit you soon”, she tells me she’d like that and then Eric and I take our leave. The second we are outside Eric lets go of my hand. 

“I couldn’t breathe inside anymore” he tells me with panic in his voice. “I couldn’t, when Robyn said that. I’m sorry I know I said I was fine when I left but I couldn’t.” his hands go up and his face is showing how sad he really is. I walk over to Eric and hug him. My arms tightly around his neck, his face in mine. “He’s gone. I can never see him again.” he says to me and I feel warm tears against my neck. I just hold him, kiss his head and let him feel it. “Aah damn” he says as he pulls back, wiping the tears off his face as quickly as he can. “I’m supposed to be a man here” he says condemning his own feelings. 

“Yeah Eric guess what we also found out somewhere around 2020” and he looks around him before making eye contact with me. “Men apparently are human too, with actual feelings.” I say raising my brows. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you just lost someone and the past week has been the most challenging week of your life. I don’t even understand how you’re on your two feet. So please, if you need to cry do so without shame.” he looks dumbfounded. Then he looks down. 

“Can we go back to your place?” he asks me.

“Of course” I answer him and we go on our way back to my room. Walking in I take off my blazer and throw it on the desk. Eric takes of his blouse so he’s just in a plain white shirt. I let myself drop down on my bed. Eric does the same but drags me down with him on the bed. There we are, on our sides, looking at each other. 

“Thank you” he says. I let my hand run up to his face and I feel a small smile on my face.

“For what?” I ask him.

“Coming with me, saving me, putting up with me, loving me and the list goes on” he says seriously but I chuckle. I move towards him and give him a kiss. 

“You saved yourself. I was just a help so don’t thank me for that. Loving you is my pleasure so that is a no for thanking me.” I give him another kiss, this time he doesn’t let me end it so quickly. “I think we both put up with each other sometimes” I say laughing, he laughs too “so that doesn’t count either and I don’t wanna hear anything off that list. I just want to be here with you” he shakes his head.

“You’re gonna disappear one day, I’m sure of it. You can’t be real.” Eric chuckles. I just roll my eyes. “I feel like I’m falling, like I keep falling without ever reaching the bottom. Is it really horrible of me to say that I’m glad his funeral is over?” he asks me looking like he’s afraid of my reaction.

“No it’s not, not to me at least” and I smile at him. “Maybe we should try to think of something else for a little while, take our minds off of things. We could go for a walk or something” a smirk appears on Eric’s face and not a minute later he climbs on top of me. 

“Yeah we could do that or” and he bends down to kiss me, one I answer happily. “We can stay on” his hand now opening the button of my pants “this bed” he says biting his bottom lip. Eager to give in to the moment I take his shirt off over his head as my answer. “Perfect answer” he says before he starts to take off my pants. He discards them somewhere on the floor and makes his way up while kissing my legs. When he reaches my core he gives a hot kiss over my panties but keeps moving up until he’s close to my face again. His hand moves up under my shirt as he kisses my neck. “I wanna do something” he whispers absolutely horny for me in my ear. My shirt now off as well, he begins to leave kisses down to my breasts, reaching them he pushes my bra down and lets his tongue run over my sensitive nipple. I moan and place my hand at the back of his head. He looks up with his eyes so dark and comes up for a kiss. This kiss is hard, he wants me and can’t wait a second longer to have me. We’re both so hot for each other. His mouth close to my ear he asks “can I turn you around this time?” 

“Yes please” I answer him and a low growl comes from deep within him as he turns me over on my belly. First he takes a little time to unhook my bra and he takes it off. Then he starts to trail my back with kisses, leaving them everywhere. My eyes are closed as I feel him on top of me, his hard on pressed up against my ass. “God you’re so hot” he says as the kisses go down south. Eric presses up my ass my his hands and takes my panties off watching my body as he does so “holy fuck this is hot” he lets his hand run down over my core and I can almost hear him swallow hard behind me. Then he takes my hips in his hands and pulls me back on all four. I hear him open a condom and when he’s done he presses himself in me. We both let out moans as he keeps pressing further in, his hands resting above my hips. When he feels sure of himself he thrusts in me and as a reaction I press my ass up bending my back down giving him perfect access. My hands grip the sheets and I look to side catching a glimpse of Eric thoroughly enjoying his view. He picks up his pace and I feel myself giving into the pleasure. His hands hold me so tight he might leave a bruise but it feels divine. Something tells me he’s holding back and I don’t want him to.

“Eric” I say. He slows down.

“Yes baby” his voice hot-blooded. 

“Please don’t hold back” I encourage him. A moment of silence follows.

“I don’t want to hurt you” says the guy who once wrote he wants to fuck em like an animal, hard and strong. Now overcome by fear of doing something to hurt me. I think about my words carefully before I choose to say.

“Please just fuck me like you want, if you hurt me or I don’t want something I’ll tell you I promise” and I feel Eric bending over me, pulling himself out of me.

“Alright I’ll fuck you how I want then” he whispers in my ear before kissing my back as he pushes himself in me again only much harder this time making me gasp. “Aah fuck” he says as he starts to vigorously thrust in me. My head falls back and I let him know how I like it “fuck yes” I say taking away his last doubt to go for it. He’s pressing himself in me again and again, his hands still holding me tight and it doesn’t take him long to get to his high in me with low grunts and heavy breathing. I feel him twitching as he moves a little. “Fuck baby that was” he says and his grip on me loosens up as his hands slide forward over my belly to cup my breast “the best” he continues as he presses himself on me, kissing my neck. Panting just below my ear. I turn around underneath him and open my legs so he can stay settled there. “And we’re only just beginning together” I say to him tracing his scar with my finger. “Imagine how good we’ll be in time” I say with a devilish smile on my face. He lays down on top of me with his face close to mine. “When you say things like that I feel like I’m the king of the earth” and he presses his soft lips on mine, not once or twice but three times. I chuckle.

“What is it with you and those three kisses close together, you do that often.” I ask him. His cheeks go a little red and he says.

“If I tell you promise not to laugh?” 

“I promise” I tell him “why would I laugh?” 

“I don’t know maybe you find it stupid or something but sometimes I give you three kisses because one is for the past, one for the present and the last for the future.” he says playing with my hair as he does so.

“You’re gonna make me cry” I tell him, I find this the sweetest thing.

“You came to the past for me, you’re my now and I hope to god you’re my future” he says looking into my eyes. I feel tears come up and he sees it happening. He places a kiss on my eye making me smile, then another kiss on my nose and the third kiss is on my lips.

“Don’t cry baby” he says sweetly eyeing me over. I smile to him and say “Yes sir”.

“Hmm yes sir, I think I like that” he says taking a deep breath in before he gets on his knees to take off the condom. He takes out a new one as well. 

“I like the look of that” I say biting my bottom lip. Eric looks at me and slides down a bit.

“Then you’re gonna love this” he says before placing his mouth over my warmth shooting stars right through me with his tongue. Having me his way, again. 

Both panting still as we lay down next to each other. “Holy shit that was” I say a little out of breath still. Eric pulls the covers over us.

“Yeah it was” he says with a chuckle as he pulls me close against him. “You are the single best thing that ever happened to me” he says kissing the side of my head. We lay under the covers still like that for a while until he says “oh shit I have something for you” while he gets up. He puts on his briefs and walks to the pocket of his jacket and pulls out something in wrapping paper.

“Are you serious?” I ask him.

“Yeah open it up” he says while he comes back under the covers next to me. I start to open it and out falls a pony on a keychain. I look at it and don’t really understand. “Remember when we got ice cream and I got upset because you paid and you said” 

“You can buy me a pony later” I say finishing his sentence.

“Yup” he says watching me turn the keychain around a couple of times looking at it. “Now you can tell your friends your boyfriend got you a pony” he says laughing.

“That is the funniest and cutest thing ever, thank you so much” I say kissing him over and over again. He chuckles at my reaction.

“Can I wish you a happy birthday or is it still uncomfortable for you?” he asks carefully. I smile at him and dangle the keychain in his face.

“You may, it stopped being painful the second the day passed with you beside me.” his hand now on the side of my face while I’m still dangling it in his face. “Thank you for this” 

“You’re welcome, just take that thing out of my face before I have to confiscate it again you toddler” he says jokingly. I just laugh and stick out my tongue while I pretend to guard it with my life. Eric kisses me before taking me in his still thin arms. I settle in against him and we both turn quiet. “I think I know what I wanna do, stay here or go with you I mean. I’m just not sure so I’ll tell you when I am. Just wanted to tell you so you know I’m really thinking about it and I don’t think Jack needs to buy more time so you can tell him that.” 

“It must be super overwhelming, all of this.” I tell him. Eric sighs loudly. 

“Definitely, my mind doesn’t stop racing at times. I do know that I am very happy to be here with you, NBK was cancelled the moment I started to believe you where sincere. Which didn't even took me that long, I just couldn’t admit it to myself or Dylan especially. But him going like this, it fucked me up. It really does.” he surprises me with how open he is about this, I’m silent so he can feel free to continue. Then I feel him shift a little and he says “I’m going to take a shower baby”. Without looking behind him he gets out of the bed and walks into the bathroom. I get up to gather clean clothes to take with me when I take a shower. Picking up my other clothes from the floor. I wrap my towel I had lying on the chair around me and get myself some water from the little fridge. I gulp the cold water down but then I hear a strange sound and I don’t understand what it’s supposed to be. I walk up to the bathroom door and place my ear on the door. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces when I hear Eric crying in there. With my hand covering my mouth so I don’t hear a sound while I listen I’m startled when I hear my phone ring. Walking over there to pick it up, I do not look at the screen before answering.

“Y/n Hunter” I say into the phone.

“Y/n Le Temps for me.” a voice that I love dearly sounds on the other side of the line. “Today was Klebold’s funeral, did you attend?” he asks me straight to the point.

“I did actually, with Eric and his parents.” I answer him.

“How did it go, are you doing well?” honest worry in his voice now.

“It was a proper goodbye, I’m not entirely sure how I’m doing right now.” I admit to my uncle. 

“The right goodbye is the best start in a grieving process. Did you read your father’s letter?” he asks.

“No I did not and I don’t intend on doing it either.” I say plain and clear.

“See I told him.” Jack says.

“Told who what?” I ask.

“I told John you wouldn’t read the letter. You need to know that I have been in contact with the council. They need to know his decision within a week but they are prepared to give him more time for his goodbyes here if he needs it.” Jack tells me.

“Eric just told me he doesn’t need more time to make a decision, a week will be enough. I will tell him about the news from the council when he is out of the shower.” I say to him.

“Very well, he is brave to be able to do it in so little time. After all that he has been through. But the shower?” he asks in a tone that pisses me off.

“Yes he is brave and yes he is under the shower here in my room.” 

“Y/n I am still your uncle, not everything is pleasant for my ears” he says only semi joking.

“Oh cut the crap uncle, you can drill me and send me back in time but you cannot bare the fact that a guy is naked around me?” I bite at him.

“I didn't mean to upset you, I’m sorry. You’ve been through a lot. Do you have any idea how proud I am off you?” he tells me.

“I think so” I say shortly. Behind me the door opens, out walks Eric with his hair still wet and the towel around his waist. 

“Who is that?” he asks in hushed tone. “Jack” I mouth to him. He pulls a oh-help kinda face making me smile. 

“Are you still here?” Jack asks.

“Yes, sorry. Eric just walked in.” I tell him.

“How about we meet for dinner? The three of us?” Jack asks me. My eyes go wide and I look at Eric.

“You want to have dinner with us” I repeat so Eric can give me a reaction. Who mouths “oh crap” to me. 

“Yes, as your uncle. No business, today?” he asks.

“No business, dinner today” I repeat. Eric says “fine” while he looks unpleased. So I sigh and say “sure Eric is okay with it and I’d love to see you off duty”

“Great I will send a car for the both of you at 7 to your motel is that good for you?” he asks me.

“Car here at 7, copy that.” I say to Jack feeling excited to see him.

“Perfect, I can’t wait to see you soldier” he tells me.

“Me too, I love you oompie” I tell him.

“And I love you with the best part of my heart” and then he hangs up. 

“Dinner with Jack, great what a day” Eric says walking up to me after I’ve put down the phone. His arms wrapped around me and a big smile on his face. “Oh that’s gonna be fun” 

“Off duty Jack is really great, I promise. You may actually like him.” I tell Eric with a brow raised.

“Really now?” he asks me.

“Yes really, he’s incredible smart, funny and makes for a great company. Business Jack however is terrifying.” 

“That is the understatement of the year” Eric says smiling “however I’m curious for off duty Jack” 

“How are you feeling?” I ask him. 

“I’m okay, the shower was good.” he says with a smile “I managed to actually make sense of my thoughts a little and to let some things, uhm go I guess” he says and plants a kiss on my cheek. “Go take a shower beautiful, I’ll go get dressed and pay our friend Alice a visit.” 

“You’re amazing do you know that?” I tell him as I walk to the bathroom. 

Eric smiles and says “I want to start over Y/n, make a fresh start so I’m trying” 


	28. Eric understands June

“Jack told you I have more time to say my goodbyes if I decide to come with you to 2020?” Eric asks to make sure he understood me correct as we sit on the steps waiting for the car to arrive. 

“Yes, he wasn’t allowed to give you more time to make your decision but you had already told me you wouldn’t need it so that isn’t really relevant anymore.” I answer him while I take his wrist to look at the time. Still a good few minutes until the car will get here. “He called you brave you know” I tell Eric. 

“Jack called me brave?” he asks sceptical.

“Yes, he said you are brave to not need more time to decide. I told him he’s right.” I take his hand in mine and feel his warmth radiate through me. He places his other hand over mine and smiles. 

“I’m even more curious to meet him outside of his office now.” Eric says. 

“Yeah you’ll like him.” I say factually. Eric is staring out right in front of him, like his thoughts are somewhere high up on a cloud. I watch him and can almost see how hard his brain is working. “A million dollars for your thoughts” I say to him. Eric looks at me with that crooked smile.

“Well you’re not cheap anymore” he says laughing. “I’m thinking about how much I want to escape this life. There is nowhere that I feel like I belong to here. And I wonder if it would feel the same in your time.” Eric says striking me once again with the way he looks at things. 

“That is a really good question.” I praise him.

“Do you have any answers?” he asks with a chuckle. I smile and think it over. 

“I think so but I’m not sure if it’s adequate. When we got closer together I started to feel like I belonged somewhere. Maybe not yet to this time but there have been moments in which I felt home in 1999.” I smile at him “but I do have to admit these moments where always in your arms” I tell Eric who looks pensive.

“I feel like I’m robbing you of your real home if I choose to stay here with you.” and he continues to be serious “you do feel at home in your own time, you’re happy there. I am not happy here. My family doesn’t even feel like a reason to stay and I feel so guilty for saying that. Because I love them. It’s just before they weren’t a reason to not do what I had planned so why should they be now?” his thumb softly caressing my hand. 

“Because it’s different now, Eric. Come on it’s not comparable at all and I promise you that if you choose to want to stay here that I will be able to find happiness beside you. With the people here in this time.” he looks at me and sighs loudly.

“What a bitch of a decision” he says laughing through the words. I smile and nod. “Yeah you can say that again, but I think you’ll know when the decision feels right” I tell him. “Besides if we stay here I have Alice” I say jokingly. But Eric doesn’t laugh. He looks a little blue. Letting go of my hand he places his arms around me and kisses the side of my head. Then in that moment a car comes from around the corner, a fancy dark blue car. 

“That’s the car for sure” I tell Eric and we both get up. Parked in front of us the driver gets out.

“Mr Harris and Mrs Le Temps?” he asks sounding kind. 

“That’s us” Eric says sounding nervous but not in a bad way. The driver opens the door for us to get in and the inside is as fancy as the outside looked. “Damn what a car” Eric says as he buckles up. I do the same and say “yeah Jack is all about luxury”. 

“Are you nervous?” I ask Eric.

“A little but not in a bad way.” he says quite calm.

“That’s what I thought” I tell him.

“Really? Reading my mood now as well, would you like my palm maybe that has an answer to my decision” he jokes.

“Ha ha, how funny. You know what give me your hand let's see, who knows what I’ll be able to tell” Eric raises his hand for me to take with the funniest expression on his face. I start to trace the lines in his palm and pretend to be very interested in it. “Hmm it says here that you’ll turn grey really young.” he chuckles “but it will look extremely handsome. Then I think this is your lifeline and oh wait. Yes this means we will grow old to be over a hundred together.” and I look up with a happy face, Eric has a sweet and loving smile on his face. “Oh and there is also a naughty message in here” I continue on a very hushed tone.

“Is there now?” Eric asks coming closer to my face. 

“Yes it says that this hand will be on my ass for almost 20 years in total by the time we’re around 50” I joke while wiggling my eyebrows.

“Well damn that sounds like it’s going to make this hand really happy” Eric says and then he places the pointer finger of that hand under my chin and lifts it gently to place a kiss on my lips that tastes like love. Almost drowning in this kiss he breaks it slowly giving me room to breath again. When I open my eyes I see Eric already looking at me. He turns my face and whispers in my ear “I love you so much. Thank you for being with me” 

“I love you and I’ll always be with you. Wherever you are” I say with a smile loving this cheesy moment. 

A kind voice from the front seat sounds “we are almost at our destination” 

“Thank you, sir” Eric says with his head raised a little giving me perfect access to his neck for a couple of kisses. “You stop that right now” he says as he tickles my side briefly knowing I will stop immediately. Smiling while I create distance between us so we can exit the car in a minute. Eric places his hand on my thigh and I can’t help but feel happy deep in my heart. But it feels a little fragile when Dylan’s hug at prom pops up in my head. It’s such an incredible blow to the heart. The car slows down and when I look outside I see a fancy restaurant. “Wow that’s where we are going? That is probably the most expensive place in town” Eric says with wide eyes.

“Jack loves his luxurious lifestyle” I say as I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“We are here” the driver tells us as he stops to open our doors. We get out and thank the driver. Walking up to the restaurant door Eric says “the old before the young” as he opens it to let me walk in. I look at him and give him a dirty look. This only makes him smile. Inside we are greeted by a gentleman.

“Good evening, do you have a reservation?” he asks looking at us like he feels we’re in the wrong place. 

“We are expected by mr Le Temps” I tell him. He checks his book and looks up.

“Welcome here this evening, let me escort you to your table” he says while walking us to a table on which Jack is already waiting for us. When he sees me he smiles wide and gets up. 

“Oompie” I say with a big smile and he opens his arms for me. This time he holds me so tight I feel like I can’t breath. “Okay breathing would be nice” I tell him.

“I have missed my girl so much” Jack continues in English. He places both his hands on my face. “You’re the most amazing thing in my life, along with your sister” and he kisses my forehead. Making me feel like a 6 year old save on his shoulders again. I look back and see Eric standing there with an odd look on his face and I fear he feels excluded. Jack notices my reaction and lets me go. “Eric” he says with a smile and extends his hand. 

“Sir, it’s good to see you again. Thank you for the invitation” Eric says politely.

“Call me Jack and thank you for coming. I want to express my heartfelt sympathies to you, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. And you Y/n I’m sorry for this tragic end” and he gestures for us to sit down. I look at Eric whose eyes couldn’t have been bigger, I knew he’d be shocked to meet Jack’s private side. 

“Thank you” is all Eric says as he pulls out my seat so I can sit down.

“Thanks liefje” I say without realising Jack understands that too. Jack just smiles and Eric sits down with a smile on his face. “So was this the most expensive place you could find?” I ask Jack with a cheeky smile.

“Yes as a matter of fact” he laughs. My heart flutters at the sound of it.

“I’ve missed you so much and it has only been weeks” I tell him. Jack runs a hand through his dark hair “me too youngster”. He then turns to Eric. 

“So Eric tell me, isn’t she driving you crazy already?” Jack asks with a small smile. “Uhm excuse me?” I say blinking fast making both of them laugh.

“No not at all” Eric says laughing as he looks at me with one brow raised. 

“Well that will only be a matter of time” Jack says as the waiter comes with menus. 

“Would you like a drink ma’am and sir?” he asks looking at Eric and me. Eric looks at me “I’ll have a water, flat please” I tell him. “For me too, thank you” Eric says.

“Send us a bottle of flat water then please.” Jack makes of it.

“Coming right up” the waiter says with a smile.

“Excuse me, a matter of time?” I ask Jack insulted as the waiter walks away “that would only be because I take after my uncle” 

“Touche” Jack says shortly. Eric smiles at me but looks a little unsure of himself. 

“So Eric, what do you like to do in your pastime?” Jack asks as if he has no clue.

“Uhm I like gaming and I usually go bowling on Fridays. I read a lot when I don’t have a lot of school work” he ads. 

“And he made those Doom wads I’ve been driving you mad with” I add to it. Eric looks a little proud when he hears me telling Jack this.

“Really you make levels in a game? Is that something you’d like to pursue as a career?” Jack asks interested. I see a smile on Eric’s face and his posture is less tense. 

“I don’t know, maybe, yes. I like computers a lot so who knows. I just don’t know if there is a lot of work in that field.” Eric says freely. 

“The gaming industry is booming” I say not thinking about it carefully. Jack raises his brow. “Oh shit that would be at home” I say with a guilty smile. “Sorry” I tell Eric. 

“Don’t apologise” he says sweetly “so in Europe the industry is thriving?” he asks wording it smarter then I could have. Jack approves.

“Well worded” he says with a chuckle “yes it is. There is a lot of opportunity in that line of work.” Jack tells Eric. Who is listening closely. All of a sudden without warning I ask Jack.

“Jack how is Lena?” the words spill over my lips before I can even think about what I’m asking. Jack looks at me with soft and kind eyes.

“She’s well. She doesn’t know I’m here. I thought that would be for the best.” he tells me.

“Yes it was, she doesn’t have to know.” I agree with him.

“Sorry but who is Lena?” Eric asks. I look at him and feel guilty for never having told him anything about my family.

“I’m sorry Eric I haven’t spoken much about my family. Lena is my little sister” and Eric sucks in his lips, I’m sure he feels unhappy, left out. “It’s a little hard for me to talk about her but I’m sorry I should have told you.” 

“Please” Eric says with a smile “don’t apologise, stop doing that” he chuckles. “I get it”. Jack opens his menu.

“Let's decide on what to have shall we?” he asks breaking the tension a little. “Why don’t we go all out with a 3 or 4 course meal” he asks with an excited smile.

“Oh my god, you and your food” I say smiling “what do you think Eric, do you think you can survive 4 courses with us?” I ask him.

“With Jack sure but you, I don’t know” he says joking.

“Ha he’s a keeper” Jack says from behind him menu.

“Gee thanks guys.” but when I look at Eric I see a gorgeous smile on his face and that makes my heart skip a beat. We make our orders and have a very pleasant 3 course meal together. Eric and Jack discuss soccer as if their lives depend on it and Eric is intrigued to hear about the “European” soccer as it is now. I look at them talking together and I see the sincerity in Jack’s eyes and demeanor. Eric looks very comfortable at the end of the main course. Talkative and curious. For a moment everything is perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing. 

“Don’t you think Eric would love our monthly barbeque?” Jack asks shaking me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry what?” I ask him. 

“We were talking about the differences in barbeques and cookouts from America and Europe. With Europe now being code for the year 2020. 

“Ah oh yeah I think so” I tell Eric “if I think about it I think you’d love it” I say with a smile. 

“I bet so” Eric tells me and without much thought he takes my hand that was resting on the table in his as the waiter clears our plates. I see Jack looking at our hands and back at me. 

“I promised no business so as Y/n’s uncle I’ll tell you, Eric that if you want to visit Europe you would be very welcome in our family.” his words make me very emotional and Eric’s notices. He squeezes my hand softly.

“Thank you. That means a lot” he says sincere. Jack claps his hand once.

“Right time for desert” he says. I turn to Eric “that’s his favorite part of the day” and smile as I say so but I feel a little too emotional to make it look genuine. Eric smiles as well but I see that his mind is running a million miles per hour. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling and thinking. We get our desert and it is magnificent. Eric’s eyes are big when they bring it to the table. In almost complete silence we eat because it is so good. When we are done I see Jack looking at his watch, he probably has an early morning. 

“I have had the best of times. Thank you both for joining me this evening.” Jack says folding his hands together.

“It’s been really nice” Eric says “and can I say something a little impolite?” he asks Jack.

“Go ahead” Jack says with a smile.

“I like private Jack a lot better then business Jack” Eric says honestly making the three of us laugh. 

“I have heard this a couple of times before” Jack tells Eric.

“A couple of thousand times” I add “work Jack scares even me sometimes.” 

“And everybody knows she was my favorite in the office back home” Jack says as he runs a finger over my cheek. “I have a car that will pick you two up here and bring you to wherever it is you want to go.” Jack says while running his napkin over his lips after his last sip of dessert wine. “I’m hoping we can meet again before it’s at the office” he says as the three of us get up. 

“Me too” I tell him. We walk over to where our jackets are and walk outside together. Both cars are already there. Jack turns to Eric.

“Eric it was really nice to meet you like this. I sincerely hope we can meet again.” and he shakes Eric’s hand, a lot softer than at the office. 

“I had a nice time as well and I’m sure we will” Eric says confident. Then I turn to my uncle.

“This was amazing. You’re the best oompie in the world” I say feeling a little blue to have to say goodbye even if this one is still temporary. Jack placed his arms around me and pulls me in tight. “I love you kiddo, see you soon” a kiss on my forehead and Jack turns around to enter the car that’s taking him away from me again. I wave at him before he leaves and then our driver opens the door for us. We get in and sit in our seats looking at each other. Eric has a pretty big smile on his face.

“You where not kidding when you said private Jack is a lot more fun” he chuckles.

“Yeah it’s unbelievable, I think it’s because of his high position in the company. There are a lot of people that look up to him, that respect him and he’s making sure they understand he knows that.” I lean back against the seat “he’s something alright”. Eric’s hand takes mine in his two hands. 

“I could practically feel the love between you two” he says with an odd look on his face. 

“Well so could Jack with our connection. I’ve never called a guy liefje before and I definitely never let one hold my hand in front of Jack.” I explain. 

“Are you serious?” Eric asks me with disbelieve in his voice.

“Hell yeah, you wouldn’t say it but I’m quite reserved with guys at least I was before I met you. That’s because they didn't mean even half of what you mean to me.” I say as if it should be obvious. Eric doesn’t respond. He looks at the time.

“Would you mind if I spend the night?” Eric asks me.

“Spend the night with you? But you’re a boy ew.” I tell him with a smile and he just shakes his head. The driver drops us off at my motel. We get in and sit down on the bed next to each other. “I can’t believe it’s still Friday” I say thinking out loud. 

“Tell me about it” Eric says as he unties his boots. “Hey what does oempe mean?” he asks curiously. 

I smile and say “it’s uncle but like a pet name version of uncle in Dutch” I tell him. Then I take a deep breath in and say “I kinda want to take a shower and go to bed early” 

“Then that’s what you’ll do” he tells me with a smile. I get my pajamas and everything ready for a shower. “Do you maybe have some paper I can write on?” Eric asks me before I enter the bathroom. 

“Of course” I tell him as I grab one of my notebooks from the desk and rip out a few pages from the back for him. I place a pen on top and gesture for him to take it. “Go right ahead” and I walk into the bathroom to get myself ready for the night. When I get back out with brushed teeth and all I see Eric folding the papers as he sits at the desk. He looks up at me and smiles. “What, why are you smiling?” I ask him.

“Because you look cute with your hair all wet like that.” he says with a smirk now. “Oh please” I tell him as I crawl onto the bed. Eric walks in the bathroom to get ready as well and when he gets out he’s in his briefs. He gets into the bed next to me and looks at the tv screen that is now on. “What are we watching?” he asks while I settle in his arm. 

“I have no idea actually” I tell him.

“A my favorite” and he chuckles. 

“Here” and I hand him the remote “you pick something, I’m too tired to focus anyway.” Eric takes the remote and switches off the tv. 

“Let’s just sleep this Friday has lasted long enough already” Eric says with a sleepy smile on his face. 

“Sounds good to me” I tell him as I flatten my pillows and he starts to do the same. “God I’m exhausted” 

“Ting baby” Eric says.

“What?” I ask too tired to get it.

“Exhausting, you’re exhausting baby” he smiles very happy with himself. 

“See that’s just rude Harris” I say pushing my head into his chest.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m denting everything, you rude dude” I joke with him. Eric starts to laugh really loud. “I’m sorry that was horrible, I’m sorry baby” I say regretting my joke. Eric just keeps on laughing. When he calms down he holds me tight.

“That was ruthless” he says still laughing a little.

“I’m so sorry baby that was awful” I tell him.

“Stop woman, I thought it was funny. I never thought you’d crack a joke like that” he tells me.

“Yeah well I’m never doing that again it felt horrible” I say pressing my face against his chest giving a kiss on the spot. 

“Denting again huh” Eric jokes.

“Stoooop” I tell him with a pout.

“No you put that lip away” he tells me. I try the puppy eyes with it as well. “Remember how that looked?” he says laughing.

“Oh shit yeah I do” I say laughing. “I’ll stop” 

“Mission accomplished” Eric says pulling the covers up higher. “I think we should have a little fun before we fall a sleep.” he says with that cheeky smile of his. 

“Well just a little because we’re all out of condoms” I tell him.

“What do you mean we had like” 

“Yup but now we are all out” I interrupt him.

“Guess I’m buying those first thing tomorrow morning then” he says with a chuckle “damn” 

“Yeah we’ve been uhm busy” I say with a smile. He cuddles me sweetly and places his face in my neck.

“Yes indeed” and comfortable silence follows and just before sleep pulls us in Eric says “goodnight beautiful” 

“Sleep tight babe” I say holding his arms that are wrapped around me like I’m a gift. For the first time since last Monday my night is finally peaceful. I’m woken up by fingers softly caressing my arm, neck and face. “Tickles” I say half a sleep still. 

“It tickles?” Eric asks with a soft sleepy chuckle “I’m sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you up” he says kissing cheek. 

“What time is it?” I ask rubbing my eyes unwilling to open them up already.

“It’s 11:30” Eric says calmly.

“Wow” I say now opening my eyes slowly. When they are open I see Eric popped up on one elbow, looking over me. “How did you sleep?” I ask him. 

“Better than the past days alone” he tells me “listen I think I’m going to home. Change clothes and I need to do some things.” 

“Yeah sure, I’m going to get ready and eat something. Call me later about when you want to meet up again” I tell him. He gives me a kiss and gets out of the bed to go get ready. It doesn’t take him long at all and before I know it he comes in for kiss before he leaves.

“I’ll call you when I’m done with what I want to do” he tells me without detail. 

“Guess what I’ll do” I say with a smile.

“What?” he asks.

“Answer” I say pulling a silly face.

“Oh my god” he says laughing as he walks out. But a few seconds after he knocks on the door again. I look around to see if he forgot something but when I open the door he smiles at me. “One more” he says while he pulls me in for a lingering kiss. When he breaks the kiss I take his face in between my hands and say “one more” he laughs and kisses me while I hold him. Then he’s off to his car and I wave him goodbye. Turning back in I wonder what he’s up to but I imagine it has something to do with the choice he’s facing. When I’m ready I go out to eat. Crossing the road I’m greeted outside by someone.

“Hi Alice” I say with a smile. She throws out some boxes and opens the door for me to get in.

“Good afternoon, what can I get for you?” she asks kindly.

“I’m starving, I think I’m gonna go with a burger and fries” I tell her. She writes it down. 

“Will your hubby to be join you?” she asks with an amused smile. 

“Nope not right now.” I tell her “he’s figuring some things out”

“Oh no, he isn’t going weird on you right?” she asks.

“No not at all. It’s quite the opposite” and I continue talking to her “he’s thinking about coming back with me to where I’m from.” 

“Interesting, where are you from?” she asks.

“Europe” 

“Oh my honeymoon was in Paris. But that would mean he’d leave his whole family behind right?” she asks.

“Yes it would but he’s really considering it” I tell her almost afraid to believe it myself. 

“The first time I saw you two together my gut told me there was something special between you two.” she catches the sceptical look on my face “I know these things, trust me.” she ads. 

“Then what does your gut say, is he coming with me or not?” I ask her almost hoping she’ll be able to give me a factual answer. “I think we both know he’d do pretty much anything to make you happy. He even tries to joke with me” she says with a wink. I smile and only now notice the cappuccino she made me. “Go drink this while you wait for the food.” she tells me and I listen. Walking over to a window seat I sit down and hold my cup in both my hands, blow on it and take sip. Thinking things over, Jack and dinner. The way he told Eric he’d be welcome in the family. The past weeks have been hard enough without this situation my father created for Eric and me. First he doesn’t talk to me for years and now he wants to tell me that he’ll see me if I succeed only for him to put Eric on the spot like this. It’s overwhelming to say the least. There is hardly any time left for Eric to make his decision and I wonder if and how he will be able to make it. Would Eric be able to feel at home in my time? Can I take another forever goodbye with Jack? Alice comes my way with the food I ordered and I just want to stop thinking all together. The food is good and it does take my mind off of things for a little while. I finish it and pay for the food.

“It was really good, thank you.” I tell Alice while she gets my change. She drops the coins in my hand.

“Be honest with me, what would make you more happy? Staying here with him or going home?” she asks me.

“Going home” I say without a doubt.

“If he knows then that’s what he will do.” she tells me with a crooked smile. 

“Maybe but can I ask him to leave everything he knows behind or even let him?” I ask her.

“If he wants to go with you there is no letting him. He doesn’t strike me like the type that would ask permission” she says and I suck in my bottom lip. She’s right. I smile at her before I turn around to go to my room. As I cross the road I remember the first week here. Seeing him for the first time, opening my vest to show my white shirt with black letters that no longer hold the same meaning as they still did back then. His reaction to me explaining where I came from during the introduction. How angry he seemed, short fused. Now he’s doing everything he can to make me happy, not wanting to hurt me. It’s so hard to find a little perspective. Inside my room I feel the walls creep up on me again, luckily my phone rings. At the same time there is a knock on the door. I decide to take the phone, answer and then open the door.

“Hello” I say into the phone while I open the door. In front of it is Eric. He has an expression on his face I do not recognize.

“Y/n it’s me Jack” my uncles voice sounds on the other side. “Is Eric there?” he asks.

“Yes he is” I say to him. Eric closes the door behind him and gives me a small smile. “Why and how do you know?” I ask Jack.

“He told me to call you and ask if he was there.” Jack tells me.

“Wait you called Jack?” I ask Eric, my heart pounding in my chest. He nods yes. 

“He wanted me to be the one to tell you but he wanted to be there when I do.” Jack says.

“Tell me what, Jack?” I ask breathless as I look at Eric who now has his hands on his hips, waiting with me only he knows what I’m about to hear.

“That he’s coming home with you” Jack tells me. My hand that holds the phone drops down beside me. In complete and utter shock I softly whisper his name.

“Eric” 

“He told you” Eric states. I drop the phone and speed walk over to Eric and fall into his arms, crying, he holds me as tight as he can. “We are going to your home” Eric says fueling the stream of tears that are wetting my cheeks. “It can’t be any other way” he tells me. My face in his neck, his hand on the back of my head. And so we hold onto each other. 

** Sunday morning early

“Mr Harris, Miss Le Temps thank you for coming in so early on a Sunday.” Jack says from behind his desk.

“Thanks for having us, sir” Eric says sitting in the same chair as the first time. With me beside him. 

“I have informed the council of your decision, now we need to finalize some details.” Jack says poised as ever. “Have you thought about how you want to take your leave here?” he asks Eric.

“I have, I want to inform my parents and be able to contact them when I’ve moved to” he stops and looks at me it must be very strange to say all this out loud for him “the year 2020”.

“Very well, so it shall be” Jack takes out a folder from his briefcase and starts to fill out a form. When he’s nearly done he speaks again. “I will make everything in order for the introduction with your parents mr Harris. This will happen soon so you need to prepare for the reaction you’re expecting of them. Mr Harris you will be there during the introduction and there you will receive all the information you need regarding seeing them again et cetera. Since you have decided it is now time to inform you about the options the agency has to offer the both of you.” and Jack turns to me. “Let me start with you miss Le Temps. You will be offered your position back in the company you had before this mission. There is a reward for your effort and contribution. This will contain a lifelong monthly compensation for the work you’ve done. The agency will also provide housing for the both of you, however you wish that to be. Together or on your own. Miss Le Temps we will also have a private conversation about your position within the company but that is of later concern” Jack concludes this part of the conversation. Looking at Eric I see he’s struggling to keep up with all this new information like I am.

“Mr Harris, you will be guided with training when you arrive in the new time you will be spending your life in. Training to understand the new world, the changes you will be facing. You will learn how the contact with your parents will be maintained. There will be scoling for the new language you will learn and integration.There will also be guidance for the mental transition you are going to be facing. The agency will help you find a job or education to your liking. In short, you will be well mentored. So far is everything clear?” he asks us.

“It’s a lot to remember but it is clear, sir” Eric tells him.

“You will receive everything we have discussed on paper as well mr Harris.” Jack says before he turns to look at me.

“When are we scheduled to leave, sir?” I ask Jack and Eric looks like he’s about to throw up.

“This is partially for mr Harris to decide but it will be before June” 

Eric and I look at each other and then Eric says “I need to graduate or I will not have my diploma” 

“Mr Harris, your diploma would be of no use, the dates would not coincide with the time you need to use it in. You will take tests to determine how you will proceed with either your education or a job.” he informs Eric and I can see it is all becoming too much.

“We are going to need to take a break mr Le Temps.” I tell him.

“Of course, I will leave you two in my office and you can use this to call me back in.” he says pointing at the phone. “I will send some water this way” and he gets up from his seat to leave Eric and me alone for a moment.

“Okay so this is all too much” Eric says getting up from his chair with his hands in his sides. I get up with him. 

“I know, I know baby. He’s talking like it’s a run to the supermarket but it is your life.” I tell him as I walk over to take his hands. “It is a lot to digest and the upcoming weeks will be very heavy but we can do this, we are in this together.” I tell him “Jack will get you everything on paper and we can meet with him outside the office and the nice Jack can help you with everything. He will do that if we ask him too.” Eric starts to nod.

“Yeah maybe that’s a good idea. Get the not so psycho Jack to help” and I start to chuckle “really you’re calling my uncle psycho now?” 

“Oh shit baby no I didn't mean it like that” he starts but I cut him off with a kiss. “Liefje, work Jack is a maniac” I tell him to get him to ease up. 

“Is everything clear to you about what he meant?” I ask him as we sit back down.

“Yes but it’s a lot. I’m gonna get training for everything” he says.

“There will be a lot of training but the people that give them are amazing and you will feel like you already belong there before you know it” I explain to him.

“God I hope so and we are getting houses and you are getting money what is this company made of, gold?” he asks confused.

“Yeah it’s really something. I’m used to it by now but I bet it’s all strange to you” I say with a smile.

“To say the least” he tells me “I do like the fact that they will help me with college or a job.” he concludes.

“Are you ready to ask for mr maniac?” I ask him while I crinkle my nose. Eric sighs.

“I guess” he says and I pick up the phone and ask the assistant to send Jack back in. He comes in with water.

“I apologise for keeping you waiting for the water, here you go mr Harris” and he gives him a glass of water “miss Le Temps” and he places a glass in front of me. “Are you ready to finish up this conversation?” he asks directed towards Eric.

“Yes sir” 

“Copies of everything we have just discussed with detailed explanations are being made ready as we speak. This includes details on every topic that has come to pass in this conversation. An appointment is made for tomorrow at 4 in the afternoon with me and my consultants for you and your parents mr Harris. I have also included some information on what you may expect in this conversation. I have one final question for you mr Harris. We usually present the future as an option for a better quality of life because especially parents need to know their children will be safe when they travel let alone if they do so through time. What would be the best option for your parents to understand better. Job opportunity, status, riches et cetera?” Jack asks Eric with his pen ready to write down his answer. Eric looks at me and thinks.

“I would say job opportunity.” he tells Jack. Who writes it down.

“Very well. Are there any questions for now?” Jack asks both of us.

“Yes sir I have a few.” Eric begins “do I contact you with when I know when I want to leave?” 

“Yes” Jack answers shortly.

“How soon could we leave?” Eric asks.

“As soon as your parents fully understand how this is going to work for them.” Jack answers. 

“What about my friends?” Eric asks “can some of them know?” 

“No this is not an option.” He says stern voiced. This has me thinking about Robyn for a moment. I turn to look at Eric.

“I don’t want to drag it out, I want to leave as soon as we can, sir” Eric tells Jack. Who looks at him and I can tell he’s impressed by Eric’s attitude towards this all. 

“If you are sure mr Harris, I will make the arrangements.” 

“I am sure” he says with a determined voice. This time I’m the one having an internal freak out. This is not what I had planned. My goodbyes where supposed to be final and now we are sitting here with my uncle. Finalizing Eric leaving 1999 with me to go back to 2020.

“Miss Le Temps” Jack says trying to sound calm but I can hear the worry in his voice.

“Yes sir?” I ask him trying to calm my nerves like I was trained to do.

“Do you have any questions?” he decides to ask me.

“No not right now. I assume we will discuss my position in the company back in my time” I simply say.

“That is correct. Then we are done here for now. My assistant has all the paperwork. Read them through carefully, a lawyer will meet with you to explain everything you need to get clarifications over before we sign everything before your departure, mr Harris.” Jack tells him before he stands up and buttons up his suit to end this meeting. Eric and I both get up and shake his hand. 

“Miss Le Temps, mr Harris one last thing.” Jack says when we’re already at the door. “I will call you so we can meet later today to have an informal conversation about this all, is that alright with you and mr Harris?” 

“I’d appreciate that, mr Le Temps.” Eric says happy he suggests it himself. I nod “Of course, sir” and then we make our way to the assistant of Jack. With a smile she hands Eric a stack of folders and a couple to me. A little overwhelmed as he takes them from her hands Eric thanks the lady, so do I and we go down with the elevator. We place the papers in the back seat of Eric’s Honda before we are ready to leave.

While we drive back to my room Eric says out of the blue “how the hell are my parents supposed to deal with this shit. They will have heart attacks, both of them when Jack and his little time travel buddies come visit us tomorrow. I look at Eric and I’m very thankful I don’t have to be there, but I would never tell him that. 

“The agency has been doing this for a long time, they are skilled and if people were getting heart attacks every time they have to break the news the company wouldn’t last long now would it?” I try reason to help him.

“That makes sense, Jesus Christ I wish it was Tuesday already.” he says nervous. 

“I understand completely. A little off topic but do you want to know what I thought was so appropriate about this all?” I ask him.

“Yes please tell me” he says while he takes my hand in his. 

“That you had to leave before June. All this time we’ve been joking about June, turns out it has always been the truth” Eric lets out a single chuckle and raises our hands to brush his lips over the back of my hand.

“It seems that June is our month” Eric says with his lips forming a smile against my hand.


	29. An album to remember

“So you’ve spoken to the lawyer, that’s good. Did he make sure you understood everything even the little details?” Jack asks Eric as the three of us sit in Jack’s hotel room around the large table. 

“Yes he did, it took almost 6 hours but my parents had over a million questions and then there were my own questions. I hope that’s not a problem?” Eric asks Jack.

“Absolutely not, that’s what he’s here for. You be sure to let you parents know they have access to his help any time. Speaking of which how are your parents doing?” Jack asks Eric with honest worry. I watch Jack push up his sleeves til just under his elbows. Eric looks at his hands and then back at Jack, I know he’s having a very hard time dealing with parents now that our departure is getting closer.

“Well they’re doing a lot better then the first few days. My mom is still very upset. She cries a lot and my dad, yeah he’s going back and forth between calling me a man with my own choices and responsibilities and being angry at me for doing this to them.” Eric tells my uncle. I sit beside him and listen to them talking, right now I place my hand on Eric’s arm, let him know I’m here.

“Well it is a lot to deal with. I think they reacted quite well even though it was very hard. Can I give you some advice?” Jack asks Eric.

“Of course” Eric tells him, the respect he has for Jack is grand, I’ve never seen him act around an adult the way he does with Jack. Which makes me extremely glad. This way he’ll have someone to look up to and hold onto when we arrive back home.  _ Home _ the word still sounds strange, as if it’s a soft lie waiting to be knocked over by a painful truth.

“Be very understanding. Keep repeating that you understand that they’re upset and that you respect that. You’ll see that if you allow their anger to be there they will feel much more inclined to see the other side of this. Your side.” My uncle tells Eric and when he’s finished he places his hand on Eric’s shoulder “trust me on this”. Then Jack gets up to fill his glass with cold water again. 

“I’ve had an idea that I think may help but I’m not sure if it’s a possibility or not” Eric says thinking out loud..

“Tell me” Jack says as he dramatically swings his leg over the chair.

“Oh my god what is wrong with you?” I say laughing at his silliness. He just winks at me and looks over at Eric.

“What if they meet with you outside of business talk. Let them see the Jack that will be around me as well. They respect you and it might help.” Eric says hopeful to ease their hurt. 

“Hmm I’m inclined to say that is not possible, I never mix business with private life.” I instantly shoot him an angry glare, Eric is finally feeling secure enough to suggest things and he just shoots him down like that. Jack knows my look, he taught me how to give them to people who deserve them. “However” he continues and I see Eric’s eyes light up a little “I will consider making an acception this time if my partner agrees to it being a good idea. When I know my answer I will let you know as soon as I can, Eric.” 

“Thank you I appreciate that” and Eric looks at me with an enthusiastic face. 

“You got it” Jack says and he looks over some papers.

“I’m hungry” I state as I get up from the chair.

“Feel free to order room service” Jack says looking at me then starts to laugh “yeah sorry I forgot” 

“Forgot what?” Eric asks curious as he sees my expression.

“I don’t know there is something about room service in these fancy places that I don’t like. I much rather go get something and then eat it here. Support the small businesses who need it” I say to Eric crossing my arms.

“It’s the same thing really only you go and waste time.” Jack says laughing.

“No it’s not and come on we are time remember, hard to waste it” I say laughing as I swing my jacket on. 

“You are time?” Eric asks. I smile and say “Le Temps is French for time. We’re literally named time. I guess our great something grandfather one of the founders thought it was appropriate to change his name after he made his grand discovery” I say waving my arms weirdly to match my weird expression. 

“The amount of disrespect for our history is really hurting me. I’m appalled, get out of here right now” Jack says pretending to be mad. Eric laughs as he sees Jack pointing at the door. I roll my eyes. “If you’re interested I can tell you more about our great something grandfather” Jack tells Eric while he mocks me in the process “it’s extremely interesting” I make snoring noises in the background. “You’re a disgrace for the whole family, young lady” he ads making me laugh.

“Drama queen. Anyway do you want anything Eric?” I ask him.

“No I’m good, thanks” he says while he takes a sip of his water. 

“I’d like a piece of pie if you’re going out anyway.” Jack says not taking his eyes off of the papers. 

“I don’t even know who you are” I say knowing full well I’m getting him a piece of pie. 

_ Eric’s POV _

She winks at me before she leaves me here alone with Jack. I wonder if he’ll be showing a different face when she’s not around.It’s probably all an act around her. It wouldn’t be the first time someone is a dick to me behind other peoples backs.

“Okay Eric I want to grab this opportunity to tell you something but it requires a little trust from both our sides. I like to believe we can do that, am I right?” Jack asks me with a small smile on his face. Here we go, he’s gonna bust my balls for not being good enough for her or something. 

“Sure tell me” I say getting ready to collect the blow. 

“My brother John, Y/n’s dad is pulling every string he can to make sure you and his daughter have everything you need to get the best start when you get to our time. I’m talking him trying everything. He’s even trying to get you into jobs you could never get as a beginner in Computer science, graphics, engineering etc. Anything really.” Jack takes a deep breath “the thing is, it’s obvious he’s trying to make up for not being there for Y/n when she needed him the past years. But I want to tell you to not let that cloud your judgement when he informs you about the options you have when we get to 2020. If and I mean if there is something you want to accept from him as a way to get a good start, please do not hesitate to take it. Everything that will make your transition easier is important. Now, I could never say this to you with Y/n here, she will eat me alive for even trying to say something like this. She wants you to make your own decisions, regardless of what others think. I just think you shouldn’t pass up good opportunities because you don’t like the reason behind it. That’s all. I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable but sometimes business Jack slips through” he says with a smile.

Damn I did not expect that. “Wait let me see if I get this right, Y/n’s dad is trying to get me all kind of perks for when I go to the” I hesitate because this will never feel right to say “future but the reason is not per se to help me but more so to make things up to his daughter?” I ask Jack a little unsure whether I got it.

“Exactly” he says.

“And you’re telling me to take everything I want to get myself started regardless of it all being bribes” I bluntly ask him again.

“It sounds horrible, I know but yes that is precisely what I mean.” he crosses his arms and leans back into his seat.

“Alright. So as a business man you’d do the same? I offer you a job because I wrecked your car and you’d take it for the sake of opportunity?” I ask with my brows raised high. Jack smiles showing teeth even. 

“Yes I would if it’s beneficial to me and my goals.” he says firm. I think about what he says and get up to fill my glass with water again. He’s right about one thing, Y/n would eat him alive. She’s not too happy about her father at all right now. 

“So” I say getting back to the table. “You’re saying I should ignore feeling like a charity case to get where I want on a paved road instead of a gravel path.” and again Jack flashes me teeth but with a laugh as well.

“You’re very intelligent and catch on quick. I’m thinking I want you in the company.” Jack tells me. Jesus fucking christ anything I expected from when he opened his mouth but not this. 

“Are you for real?” I ask him sceptically. 

“When we get back to my time I think we should absolutely look at that as a possibility. Why don’t I tell you about our history first” Jack says with the same passionate eyes his niece gets when she’s excited about something. I really like Jack, this could actually work out.

_ Your POV _

Waiting for my Chinese food to be ready with Jack’s pie and one piece for Eric as well in my hand, I start to wonder what they are talking about. I’m thinking sports maybe but I’m not sure. The past two weeks have flown by. I try to keep my mind off of Eric’s parents, it’s proving difficult. The way his mom reacted to seeing me after they their conversation with Jack. I do not blame her for being upset with me, I wish things could have been different. 

“Miss, helloo” the man behind the counter says.

“Oh sorry, sir. I was lost in my thoughts” I blurt out. 

“That’s okay but your order is ready” he says handing me my food. 

“Thank you sir, have a nice day” I bid him farewell and walk back to Jack’s hotel. When I arrive I go up to the highest floor to Jack’s huge suite. I knock on the door and hope everything went well. Eric opens the door and he looks very happy. “Hello beautiful” he says and he even kisses me on my lips, flighty but still. I’m a little surprised by this as I walk in.

“Hello why are you looking at me like that?” I ask Eric with squinted eyes.

“Like what?” he asks as he walks over to the couch of the sitting area where Jack is with a coke in his hand. 

“Like the two of you got married in my absence” I say while getting my food ready on the table.

“Jesus that’s not funny” Eric says a little disgusted. 

“What, I’m not your type?” Jack asks pretending to be hurt. 

“Your niece is my type” Eric says freely. 

“Fair enough” Jack says as he takes a gulp from his drink. 

“Did I miss two years worth of bonding here?” I ask them confused. Plating my food and sides while I watch them in amazement. They just laugh at each other. “Fine don’t include me” I say pretending to be angry but I’m only extremely excited to see them like this. “Can’t believe I brought you two pie” 

“Did you say my name?” Jack asks coming off the couch making his way to the pie I plated for them. “Thank you for bringing me pie” he says while he places his arm around me. “He’s a keeper” he says softly.

“Ya think?” I ask with big eyes and then he thinks about what he just said and we both start to laugh “you know what I mean” he says as he takes the pie to Eric as well. “I do understand but what a poor choice of words for such an educated man” I say to Jack’s back as he keeps walking, ignoring me. I smile and feel my heart swell three whole sizes as I watch them eat and talk soccer. 

** 

Sitting in Jack’s car with him I feel extremely nervous about this evening. Jack decided to meet with Eric’s parents outside of work. Eric’s parents asked me to be there as well. Jack picked me up at my motel room and complained about wanting to upgrade me to a hotel for the remainder of our time here. I refused, I wanted to savor all the memories in there for as long as I can. The good and the bad. Fidgeting with my hands as we get closer to our destination, Jack sees my nervousness and takes one off my hand in his. 

“I know you’re nervous but we do this together.” he says with a small wink. 

“They must hate me, with reason even.” I tell him.

“Nobody hates you. It’s hard on them of course. Just look at it this way, when you leave they have 21 years to forgive you” Jack says earning a hit from me.

“That is not funny, not at all.” I tell him a little upset “that is the whole problem here. They have to say goodbye to their son for 21 years.” I say examining my fingernails closely. 

“But you know the alternative of their lives. Just hold onto that. It’s going to be alright.” and as he says so we come to a halt. My heart stops at the same time and when I find Jack’s eyes I see calm and care in them. We get out of the car and once more the front door of Eric’s house gives me anxiety, enough anxiety for years. We knock and soon after the front door opens and I brace myself for what’s to come. In the door stand Eric’s father. He looks a lot more distant then he did before but he greets us kindly.

“Mr Le Temps, Y/n. Come on in.” he says opening the door wide so we can enter his house.

“Major Harris, thank you for having us. Call me Jack.” my uncle tells Wayne as he shakes his hand. 

“Jack” Wayne says and when he sees me he gives me a small smile. “Y/n, welcome back” he ads when I walk in. 

“Thank you for having me, mr Harris.” as I say this to him Eric’s mother comes walking towards us. She looks like she’s been extremely upset for a long time but still she smiles and even gives me a quick hug. 

“Y/n good to see you, come in. Eric will be up in a minute, he was busy just now” she tells me. I’m surprised at the ease with which she welcomes me.

“Mrs Harris I’m really glad to see you again” I say honest and trying to keep my words as safe as possible. Jack and I walk over to the couch and his father goes to sit on the one across from us. His mother walks into the kitchen and comes back with coffee. 

“You drink coffee, right mr Le Temps?” she asks. Jack nods.

“Yes ma’am, thank you very much.” and he adds some sugar. I hear footsteps on the stairs and when I turn to look Eric’s head is already visible. He smiles sweetly in my direction and comes up to me for a short greeting with a kiss on the cheek. He raises his hand to shake Jack’s.

“Eric it’s good to see you again, how are you?” Jack asks with a smile.

“Nice to see you as well I'm good thanks, and you? Eric asks as he goes to sit next to his mom. 

“I’m well thanks” Jack says and he looks over at me and sees I’m still extremely nervous. He winks at me to give me some comfort. I wonder how and where we start in this conversation that scares the hell out of me. Lucky for me Eric’s dad doesn’t waste time to get to the core of this evening.

“We’re very glad to have both of you here. Jack it’s nice of you to let us meet you outside of work and Y/n, Eric’s mother and I are happy you’re here once more now that we’ve had some time to digest this new turn of events in our lives.” he says sitting up straight and looking both Jack and me straight into our eyes. My heart is beating like crazy and I can’t seem to get it to settle if only a little bit. He continues on a very serious note. “There has been a lot of talking the past days and Eric has told us some very private things. Things that I do hope will never be heard by other ears then our own and the parties in your company that needed to know, Jack .” I look at Eric with big eyes, did he tell them anything? Do they know what he planned? My mind is racing as fast as my heart is right about now and I feel my courage to be slipping with every passing second. “What Eric told us gave us a newfound respect and gratitude towards the both of you. The idea of 21 years without our son only to meet him as the young man he still is, while we have aged is not easy and it hurts us. I do hope you understand this” his father now looking at me. Quickly I nod yes.

“Of course, sir. I understand completely.” I say a little too eager to please. Eric’s mother looks at me with a small smile and welled up eyes. Eric notices and he places a hand softly on her back. She reacts by looking at him and placing her hand on his knee. 

“Well that’s what I had to say” Wayne states with dignity. 

“Major Harris, you can rest assured that there is no one outside of my company that knows anything of what has and is going on here. There is a good reason to the non disclosure contracts. We are a very private institution that do not carry our duties lightly. Eric told me the lawyer was of great help, he is at your service and will continue be after we leave.” Jack takes his coffee and brings it up to his mouth for a sip. “I’ve spend a little time with Eric, the two of us and we get along quite nicely, at least I think so. You’ve raised a great young man” he says making me cringe and when I look at Eric I see his one brow is raised and feel him cringing with me. The recognition we see in each other makes us chuckle at the same time. Kathy looks at the both of us and asks “what’s so funny?” but she sounds more curious than anything else. Eric and I look at each other trying to decide who is the one to tell them. I decide to bite the bullet. 

“Mrs Harris, I’m sorry but what my uncle just said about how he’s raised well was a little cringy to listen at. No offence because I do agree with my uncle it’s also a little uncomfortable.” I say hoping I didn't offend anyone just now. Jack looks at me and I can tell he’s about to be the embarrassing uncle again. 

“Cringy, really? I thought it was” and he thinks for a minute “complimentary and kind” he says making me mentally facepalm myself. 

“She’s right, it was cringy no offence Jack” Eric says helping me out. Jack places his hand over his heart.

“I’m shocked to my core” he says joking, I see Wayne looking a little sceptical and Kathy is observing the interaction between the three of us with interest. 

“Please don’t” I tell Jack. Who looks at me.

“Don’t what?” he asks.

“Embarrass me even further” I tell him but with a smile now because he’s smiling. Eric starts to laugh. His parents look at him and so do I with a big smile. 

“Well the dynamic between the three of you seems to be alright” Kathy says with a coy smile. I look at her and my heart breaks. There is so much I want to tell her but I just can’t form the right words. She looks my way and flashes that sweet smile of hers. “I’ve made cake, I’ll go cut us all a piece” she says as she gets up.

“Can I help” Eric and I say simultaneously. She looks at the both of us and shakes her head. “You can give me a hand Y/n” she says and I get up to follow her into the kitchen. When I get there she’s pulled out a knife and the cake already. The plates where already set on the counter with the vorks on top of them. I take a plate and hand it to her. She smiles and puts the knife down. “What Eric told us was very scary and dark.” she begins to tell me. My heart beating so fast I fear it would run away if it could. He did tell them something. “Yet you were determined to make sure he saw a side of him he didn't even think he had anymore and those where his own words.” she continues. “I will never believe he’d ever hurt someone, I refuse to believe that to be true. However he believed he could and he said you did everything you could to show him a different path. Y/n you helped my son through something I didn't even know he was going through.” she says picking up the knife again. 

“I didn't mean to steal him away from you” I blurt out, everything that’s been inside me for weeks seems to pour out here in her kitchen. “I came here thinking I’d stay here. My goodbyes were final or so I thought, but Eric chose to come with me. I never meant to hurt you or your husband or anyone else. Please know that I didn't mean to take him from you” I start to wipe my tears off my cheeks as I try to look somewhat brave here. She places the knife down again to gently place her hands on my arms.

“Honey from what Eric told me it seems like you had a big part in giving him back to me” her cheeks wet like mine. “I’ll miss him everyday but I’ll hold onto Eric being happy” she says before taking a deep breath as her voice cracks. “It’s a good comfort to know it won’t be 21 years for him” I see it’s becoming too much for her to talk about it. She waves a little and says “let’s cut this cake” to end this conversation. I nod and hand her a new plate. Together we bring the cake back in the living room and as we do we see the three men talking about soccer. We stand there for a second watching them and look at each other, my brows are raised and I can’t help but smile. Kathy has a mixture of sadness and happiness written on her face. We sit back down with them and the conversation keeps flowing with some ease at times. Eric tells us he feels secure in his decision, Jack lets them see his soft and uncle side and I try my best to keep up with all the feelings running through me. When our coffee and cake is all finished Eric’s father says that he and his wife have something to tell us.

“We’ve talked about this for a good couple of days after our conversation with Eric and we believe it would be best for Eric and us if he doesn’t prolong his stay here. If there has to be such a goodbye we’d rather it be sooner then later so there isn’t too much time to dwell on every thought.” he says like a true military man who held his wife’s hands the entire time as he spoke. Eric has an odd expression on his face as he looks at his parents.

“I agree” Eric eventually says. “We should pick a day as soon as possible” he looks at Jack as he says so. Who in his turn looks at me.

“It can be in as soon as two days from today.” Jack tells them. This time it’s Eric’s father that wells up.

“Then that is what we’ll do” he says with a soft and breaking voice. Eric looks at everyone in the room and I can see it’s breaking his heart. 

“I will make sure everything is set in motion. Like we’ve discussed before, some tests will be done on the day of departure in the morning and if everything checks out as it should we are good to go. “I think it’s best if we go for now” Jack says pointing at me and him. “Eric, you will be expected at Y/n’s place at 7:00 in the morning, two days from now. I will make sure a car will pick you two up”

“I want to say goodbye to some people” Eric says looking at his parents. “Y/n can you call Robyn and have the guys and her meet us somewhere or something?” Eric asks me.

“I’ll make sure we can say goodbye in a little bit, let’s make it today so after that you can spend all the time with your parents” I tell him as I get up. “Is that alright?” I ask the three of the Harrisses sitting on the couch.

“Yes” his mother answers. 

“I will call you” I say to Eric and then I turn to his parents who now have gotten up themselves, the first part of his goodbye for 21 years is about to start. “Mr Harris, thank you for the hospitality. I’ve felt so welcome.” I say feeling absolutely overwhelmed. He nods and takes a step forward in my direction.

“You’re welcome” and he then holds me in a tight embrace “thank you for everything” he says in a much softer voice. “There is nothing to thank me for” I tell him and I feel tears hugging my cheeks once more. He lets go of me and immediately turns around. Then I see his mom, her sweet apple cheeks red and stained from tears already. I bend over a little and give her the warmest hug I can give her. “I’ll walk you two to the door” she says determined. I want to tell her we can manage alone but she seems to insist and when we get to the door I see why. Out of a coat pocket she pulls out a thick envelope and hands it to me. It has my name on it. She places a finger over her lips and I nod to let her know I understand. She opens the door and for the last time I walk out of this house. Not looking back as we make our way to the car that’s been waiting here for us. When I get in I look down on the envelope. I buckle up and before I know what hits me a dam breaks and tears start flow with the force of nature behind them. Jack pulls me into his arms on the back seat for as far as my seat belt allows him and holds me all the way to my room. When we get there we say goodbye in the car because I need to go set up our meet with the friends Eric wants to say goodbye to in the little time that he has. Inside my room I waste no time. I rinse my face and immediately pick up the phone to call Robyn. Her parents are out to dinner so she proposes to meet at her place, she’ll call Erik and gives me Mike’s number. I don’t stop to think about what this all means because then it will become a lot harder to do. 

He picks up after a couple of rings.

“Mike here” he says.

“Hey Mike, it’s me Y/n.” I say to him.

“Y/n?” he asks surprised enough not to say something witty.

“Yes, listen up. Can you meet Eric and me at Robyn’s right now?” I ask him.

“Wait what? Now?” he asks.

“Yes now” and I hesitate just like I did with Robyn but tell him honestly that “Eric and I are leaving in two days and we want to say goodbye to you guys tonight” I tell him.

“Holy shit” he says a little taken aback by this news “of course I’ll be there in 10 minutes” 

“Thank you Mike” I say grateful that he can make it.

“No problem Sprinkles” he says a lot less enthusiastic than normally. I call Eric to come pick me up to go to Robyn and when I’ve hung up the phone I grab the bag with photo albums. It’s time. I quickly change into another shirt and Eric must have driven like a maniac because he’s here already. When I open the door after he knocked on it we stand still for a moment before Eric takes a big step towards me and pulls me in for a hug. We hold each other closely as we both think about what we’re about to do and how fast this is taking place all of a sudden. 

“It’s all happening now” Eric says with a muffled voice into my hair. 

“I know, it’s too much almost” I admit to him. His hand goes up to the back of my head and he creates a little distance to be able to kiss me.

“I can’t believe this is all happening so fast if I’m honest with you” he tells me. I give him another kiss and say “it’s gonna be okay”. We smile at each other and I grab the bag off the floor and walk with Eric to his car. I lean into the back to place the bag with albums there when suddenly I feel a slap landing on my butt. I come back in my seat quickly and see Eric looking at me with a smug face. “Yeah remember the first time you did that before we took that walk in the woods?” he asks.

“I do I felt so stupid” I tell him while I put on my seat belt. 

“I thought I was gonna explode, I wanted to touch you so bad then so I had to smack your ass now” he says very pleased with himself. I giggle and tell him “drive already will you”. He smirks and drives us to Robyn’s place for the last time. When we arrive we sit in the car for a good few minutes. 

“That’s Erik’s car, they’re already here” Eric states with his hands still holding onto the steering wheel tightly. I let my head rest back.

“This goodbye is gonna hurt” I tell him “but we do it together, you’re not alone like you were before” Eric looks at me and he starts to shake his head. “What?” I ask him.

“I just” he drops his hands to his lap “In two days I’m not only going to Europe but it’s also 21 years later” and then he starts to laugh “my life is ridiculous”. He smiles at me and then he exits the car, I take the bag and follow his lead. When we knock on the door Robyn opens it and her eyes are sad but there’s a smile on her face.

“Well well if it isn’t the Harrisses” she says smiling.

“Still confusing us with my parents” Eric says as he steps in, he walks past her but she doesn’t let him get in without a hug. “Hey friend” she says smiling. Then it’s my turn for a hug “hey you” she says with a soft voice. “Hey girl” I say holding her a little longer. When we let go we smile to each other and walk into her living room. Mike was sitting in the same chair Dylan was sitting in on the evening of Robyn’s party. He gets up when he sees us walking in. Erik gets up as well.

“Sprinkles” Mike says with a smile. I walk up to him and give him a hug “God I’m going to miss your smell, you smell like cupcakes and beauty” Mike says laying it on there thick. I laugh and hear Eric behind me “jesus christ” making it even funnier. “Hey Mike, you doofus” he lets go of me and rolls his eyes. I walk over to Erik who gives me a small hug. I place the bag beside the couch and take place next to Eric. 

“He’s right though we are gonna miss you guys” Robyn says pulling a pout.

“Yeah same, maybe Mike not so much though” Eric says with a chuckle. I elbow him in the side softly.

“That’s a lie” I tell Eric. “I’ll miss all three of you for sure” I say looking at their faces. Robyn gets up to walk to the kitchen.

“Leaving in two days already what the fuck guys” she says “why the hurry?” Robyn asks as she gets the drinks. Mike gets up on his feet.

“You’re pregnant that’s why” he yells out.

“Oh for the love of God” Eric says loudly “no man she’s not pregnant” 

“We’ve been responsible, we use condoms” I say with a big fake smile. Robyn is snorting in the kitchen and Erik and Mike both look at me and Eric searching for the first signs that it’s a joke. This time Eric and I just smile at each other.

“Holy fucking hell dude, they’re not even kidding” Mike says with big eyes “I think” he ads, that’s when Eric and I start to laugh really loud. Robyn comes in with the drinks and a huge smile on her face. She shakes her head and gives us a glass of pepsi. For a good while we just sit there talking, laughing and they ask us a couple of questions about where we are going and such. We talk a lot about where I’m from, how my life was before I got corrupted by Eric according to Mike. Eventually after a good while the conversation lands on Dylan. That’s when I take the bag from the floor and place it on my lap.

“What’s in there?” Erik asks and Robyn looks at me and judging by her expression, she knows.

“I’ve made us all an album with pictures of us and mostly Dylan from Eric’s birthday party and prom.” I say with a heavy heart. “I think now is the time to give them you guys. I’ve also included envelopes with the pictures for friends of Dylan that Eric mentioned” I say lying because Eric never mentioned Brooks or Nate “and for Zack and Devon” I turn to Robyn and say “you don’t have to open the album if you don’t want to, I just need to personally hand them over to you guys.” Robyn nods softly.

“That’s amazing” Erik says with a small voice “I can’t believe you did that” 

“Damn if I wasn’t the man that I am, I’d get emotional and cry right now” Mike says with an unsteady voice “but I’m tough and all that” I look at Mike and despise the picture he feels he needs to be. I walk over to sit on the armrest of the chair and hug him from the side. He looks surprise. 

“Eric you know my uncle Jack right, he’s tough as nails am I right?” I ask Eric.

“He sure is, scares the shit out of me at times” Eric tells me with a chuckle.

“Well Mike, Jack always says that real men cry and get upset, because real men are human” I rest my head on his shoulder. “So don’t think you can’t miss a friend and cry over his pictures” underneath me Mike scoffs.

“Yeah right” he says but his voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it before. He turns quiet and then I feel his head lean into my arm and judging by the looks on Robyn and Eric’s faces I’d say Mike is letting out some feelings. I hold him for a while until he scrapes his throat. 

“Well tell Jack I think he’s a wuss” he says with a sad chuckle making us all laugh. 

“Sure” Eric says with a little smile on his face. When I walk back to the couch I grab an album and give the first one to Robyn. She takes it with a pale face and unsteady hands. I go back and get one for Erik. He takes it from my hands and whispers a thanks. When I hand one to Mike he looks up with sad eyes and he just smiles. Sitting back on the couch I take out the album I made for us and hand it to Eric. He leans in and gives me a kiss, a gentle kiss lingering on my lips “thank you liefje” he says with a funny accent making me smile and very emotional. I just nod and look back at the rest. Robyn’s album is closed and she’s just looking at the cover but Erik opened his.

“You made side notes” Erik states looking up with surprise in his eyes.

“Yeah I did, my granny used to do the same with our pictures. I thought it would be nice” I say to him.

“I love it” Mike then says and we all look at him, his album is open and in a flash I see birthday pictures. “And you even wrote the dares in it, who asked what to who. There’s a picture of us kissing on your foot in here” he says pointing at the picture with a smile. “Ah man that Playboy was a good gift” he ads making us smile like he always does.

“We got so lucky because a lot of the pictures look really well” I tell them happily. Robyn still has her album closed.

“Thank you so much for this.” she says with tears in her eyes “I just can’t open it yet”

“Open it when you’re ready, I’m not opening it either” Eric says while his hands hold the closed album with a tight grip.

“Sprinkles” Mike says.

“Yes Mike?” I ask.

“You’ve only been here for less then two months. It feels like I’ve known you forever” he says closing his album. 

“Damn never figured you to be so sappy” Eric says. Mike shoots daggers at him with his eyes. 

“Don’t listen to him, I like these new sides you’re showing us” Robyn says with a small smile as she holds her album close against her chest with her arms holding it safe. Mike points at Robyn and says “see chicks dig this emotion showing sensitive shit” 

“I knew it was too good to last” Robyn says with a hand on her forehead making me laugh. “He’s right though, I feel like you came into our lives as if you already knew us and vice versa” she says with a chuckle. Eric and I look at each other and I wink at him.

“That’s because I’m from the future. I knew all your names and seen your pictures” I say shrugging my shoulders. Mike, Robyn and Erik look at each other and then to me and Eric.

“It’s true, there is a machine that tells you who your soulmate is and I was hers so she came back from the year 2196, she’s actually 196 years old” Eric adds to the story. This makes them all laugh really hard and we just look at each other. I think of the moment I made that joke, his reaction and all that came after on that day.

“Yes and vampires sparkle in the sun” Mike says making me almost spit out my cola. “You two are seriously made for each other, both lunatics” 

“Takes one to know one” I say to Mike with a wink.

“Seriously, making me cry before you leave?” Mike says pretending to be hurt. Eric shifts in his seat beside me. 

“Guys I uh. I want to say that I know I’ve been an asshole sometimes, well most of the time” Eric says with a chuckle “so thanks for being my friends through it all” he pauses briefly and then for the first time mentions Dylan in a vulnerable way “I just wish Dylan was here as well so I could have told him the same thing. He was my best friend” 

We just look at Eric while he fidgets with his pants a little. Then I see a single teardrop fall on our album. We all see it but say nothing. He wipes his hand over his cheek and says “anyway I’m gonna really miss you guys” Eric continues as he looks up at his friends. “I’ve made some notes for some people, Robyn can you maybe give them to who they are for, for me?” 

“Of course” she says with a small smile as she places a few strands of her long blond hair behind her ear. “I’ll miss you too Eric” she then tells him. 

“Yeah man” Erik says as well. 

“Getting all emotional, her uncle is turning you into a girl” Mike says laughing but his usual sass is missing making it a lot sadder then he intended it to be. 

“Yeah or we have to say goodbye in just a little bit and we’re all just sad. One of the two at least” I say looking at Mike. He doesn’t say anything. 

“Thank you for the album and all the fun” Erik says looking at me.

“Thanks for being my friend here” I say in return. Erik smiles. 

“I think we should go, my parents are waiting” Eric then says. I look at him and nod yes, knowing this is it. The last moments with people that are becoming memories in just a little bit. Robyn gets up and places her album on the table. 

“You guys have a ton of fun in Europe” she says with her voice already breaking. I nod yes and walk up to her to hold her for the last time. “You take care of yourself, thank you for being my friend” I say over her shoulder. “I kinda hate you for leaving” she says laughing. I smile and say “that’s okay, I hate having to leave you right now” after I’ve said so she lets go of me quickly and walks over to Eric. I look at Mike and open my arms, he does the same only very dramatically.

When he holds me tight he whispers in my ear “I’ll think about you all the time, Sprinkles” this makes me cry and I nod against his shoulder. “Me too, you’re an amazing guy” I say through my tears. He chuckles “don’t tell mr boss man but I have the biggest crush on you since day one” I start to laugh as well. “Yeah I had a feeling” I admit to him. He pushes me away from him.

“You knew?” he asks with big eyes making me laugh harder.

“Knew what?” Eric asks a little uncomfortable. 

“That Mike is a proper idiot” I say with a smile. Mike looks at me and nods. I lean into him and give him a kiss on his cheek and say “keep an eye on Robyn for me please” he raises his hand to his cheek and says “I promise” then he turns to Eric. “You lucky son of a bitch, going to Europe with the biggest babe in babe history” I hit him on the chest but we all laugh.

“Yeah I know man. She’s way out of my league as well” Eric says smiling.

“Stop it both of you” I say as I walk over to Erik. He gives me a short hug. “I’m so sorry I have to leave you here with Mike” I say jokingly, Erik laughs and says “you’re forgiven”. 

Now comes the hardest part, actually leaving. 

“Guys can’t we wave you goodbye at the airport?” Robyn asks as she wipes off tears that are still streaming down. 

“I’m sorry guys, we’ve reserved that for my parents only” Eric says lying to his friends for the last time. She nods understanding and we walk to the front door. Eric opens the door for me and I step out, he follows closely after and when we look back at them standing before the car I see Robyn crying and waving. I do the same thing and get in the car. When Eric starts the car I see Mike placing his arms around Robyn and it warms my heart. “Are you okay baby?” Eric asks sounding sad.

“Just drive please” I say as I look at them through the window for the last time. Eric does as I ask and starts driving us to my motel room. When we get there I feel extremely heavy and every step I make is hurting me. “I’ve known them for about 6 weeks or so how is it this hard” I ask Eric who closed the door behind us. We sit on the bed together. 

“Probably because the past few weeks have been crazy” then he gets very serious “you knew our names for years before coming here. Then you actually go through time for me and Dylan but he’s dead now. If that’s not enough then how about the fact that in two days we’re leaving this fucking hell hole to go to the future.” Eric looks at me with a strange smile on his face “I just said to go to the future, who says that” and his comical expression makes me snicker a little. 

“We do” is what I say “When I’m home I’m going to sleep for 6 weeks straight” I say rubbing my eyes furiously to try to get all the tiredness and tears out of them.

“You can’t actually” Eric says while he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me in.

“Why not?” I ask him all defensive.

“Because if you do, you’ll miss our first June together” he says with his lips brushing against my cheek making me smile with his sweet words. “There it is” he says.

“What is?” I ask him still smiling while I look at him. 

“My favorite smile” he says kissing my cheek over and over again. I roll my eyes. 

“Harris you’re really something. You have to go though” bringing him back to reality as I say so. His eyes change and he nods in silence. Together we stand up and hold each other for a brief moment before he goes to spend time with his parents. His last full day in 1999 being tomorrow. 


	30. We will remember

My black bag sits still on the bed before me. I’ve taken out all the papers I had on Eric and Dylan. The updates from the agency as well. Yesterday evening I burned them all. They are no longer a truth, just a painful memory. My hand laid gently on the Broncos sweater Eric switched when he gave it back to me. The note he put in it now safely in my wallet ready to go home with me. “Home” I say to the silent walls in my motel room. My final moments in this room are filling me with a wide ranging assortment of feelings. The black bag now filled with the memories I’m taking with me staring at me. In it is a coaster from the bowling alley that I took with me after we went bowling with Dylan and Robyn. The marker Mike used to draw on my foot is coming with me as well. The message from the frontdesk of Robyn saying she’ll meet me here to do some shopping is placed safely in one of my notebooks a long with a napkin from Blackjack’s. Looking over my little collection of nothings I can’t help but feel a little spark of joy to be going home.  _ Home.  _ I sip the bag up and get my bag of clothes off of the floor and place it on the bed next to the black bag. Eric’s shirts and the prom dress tucked in safely along with the horrible army skirt that I’m going to keep wearing. I walk into the bathroom to fix my hair in the mirror for the last time. Staring at my reflection as my hands create the braided bun they know so well I relive the moment where Eric and I clear each others faces of the soldier swipe, as Robyn called it. A small smile on my face as I remember how I felt thinking he was about to say that he loves me. When I’m done I open the tap for the last time to let some cool water run over my wrists as I hope to compose myself before walking out of this room. Early this morning I called Jack to let him know I want to leave here now, he told me he’d book a room for me close to his so I didn't have to be alone on my last night here in Littleton. I called Eric to tell him I’d be picking him up tomorrow morning instead of him having to come here. He was fine with that. He also told me over the phone that he struggled with the fact that he didn't have to pack anything to bring with him. The idea that his parents will have shipped his things to the agency years before we even arrive really messed with his head. I told him that the agency would even unpack them for him where we will be staying at first. He was floored but said he had no time to really think about it because his mind was consumed by saying goodbye to his parents and brother. Suddenly I’m extremely aware of how everything I’m doing in this room is now for the last time, I feel a little demoralized but remind myself that this has always been about Eric and he was going to be safe and with me. With that thought I flip off the light switch and exit the bathroom. I walk in a straight line to the desk to put my jacket on, there is no need to check for everything because I already have 6 times before. Grabbing my bags and keys I open the door a little clumsy but I manage. Stepping out of the room I look back and let my eyes wander around the room for the last time. I see Dylan and myself holding each other as clear as my reflexion in the mirror just now. The first time Eric walked into this room all drenched and cold. Our first time having sex together. Eric telling me I was another way to pass time only for him to corner me against the door minutes later making me promise I know he didn't mean it. Eric collecting me to surprise me with a walk in the woods on that fresh Saturday morning. The birthday party I threw him, when it was all shaping up to end perfectly. It’s time to close the door behind me with my mind set on our future together. I quickly place the bags in my rental and walk to the frontdesk. The man sitting behind it looks as uninterested as they all do when they work. 

“I’m here to pay for my last week” I tell him as I take out my wallet. 

“Finally leaving?” he says without a single change in his expression.

“Yup” and I hand him the money for the past week.

“Well if you’re ever around feel free to come back you’ve been a model guest except for that one party that is.” he says rudely.

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen” I tell him annoyed by his comment about Eric’s birthday party.

“No need to be rude” he dares to say to me. I look at him with my brows raised and merely scoff at him before turning around without another word. 

Then I make my way over to Alice for another goodbye. When I open the door she greets me ever so kind with a big smile.

“Hello there lovey where is dovey?” she asks me.

“He’s at home” and I hesitate to further the sentence but decide to not waste any time to let her know why I’m here “he’s saying goodbye to his parents” 

Alice looks at me with a small frown but then begins to smile. “I told you he’d come with you” she says proud of her instinct.

“You sure did, we’re leaving tomorrow early” I tell her and for the first time I feel actual excitement, at least this goodbye feels normal.

“Well then, this will be your last usual here I guess” she says with a wink.

“Yes please” I tell her with a wide smile.

“Are you hungry? I have some waffle mixture left over from breakfast” she says while her eyes try to tempt me with waffles. I’m not hungry at all.

“That sounds great” I say with a smile because if I have to eat why not Alice’s waffles. 

“Waffles coming right up and here is your coffee” she says handing me a cappuccino. 

“Thank you, I’m gonna sit here with you at the counter if you don’t mind?” I ask her smiling.

“Not at all sweetheart” she says walking into the kitchen. Not too long after she comes back with waffles topped with fresh strawberries and whipped cream on the side. I take the plate from her hands and my stomach starts to growl. “Just in time I hear” she says chuckling, maybe I was hungry after all. I start to devour my waffles while Alice and I chat about my stay here and how she feels she saw Eric and I get together. She expresses how much fun she had teasing Eric. I nod and tell her with a mouth full “me too” she starts to laugh and when I finish my food I take out my wallet to pay her but she refuses, so I follow in Eric’s footsteps and put the money for the food in the tip jar. She shakes her head smiling. “Wait just a second” she says and she takes a napkin and a pen before she turns around. When she faces me again she gives me the folded napkin and says “give this to the professor will you and no peeking” 

“Will do but no guarantees I won’t peek” I say smiling. “Goodbye Alice, you take care and thanks for everything” I tell her before walking to the door. 

“You too Lovey, I wish you all the best with your sweet professor” she says making me laugh for the last time. Or so I think. I walk out of there and go straight to my rental. When I get behind the wheel I immediately open the napkin. 

“Dovey, you take care of your princess! Don’t worry too much over how the ring looks something tells me she’ll say yes to a ring from a vending machine. - love, no-filter.” I smile and squint to read the smaller letters at the bottom. “I knew you’d peek, Lovey” making me laugh, now however it really is the last time. I look at the clock it’s close to dinner time. Before I start the car I take a deep breath on my way to say my final goodbye to someone. 

Driving up towards their house the closed red shutters punch me in the gut. Parking the car I see my hands starting to shake but I do not hesitate and take the album I made his parents off of the passenger seat and walk up to the door. I ring the doorbell and what feels like an eternity passes before the door is opened by Dylan’s father. 

“Hello?” he says kind but confused.

“Hello mr Klebold, you do not know me but I knew you son briefly.” I say with a smile, his eyes grow wide and sadden. “My name is Y/n Hunter” his father takes a step back and he looks like he’s shocked, I wonder if I missed something here. 

“Sue” he yells back into the house. I’m a little startled by his reaction. Fear sends chills over my spine. It doesn’t take long before his wife joins us at the door. “Yes Tom?” she asks. He turns to face her and says “this is Y/n” and her eyes grow wide as well. Now I’m thoroughly confused. 

“Yes I’m Eric’s girlfriend” I say hoping to get some clarification on what’s going on.

“That explains it” Sue says with a shaky voice. 

Still confused I think it’s best to get to my point before wuss out “I’ve brought you something” 

“You did?” Tom asks and his eyes wander down to the album in my hands. “Would you like to come in?” he asks kindly.

“No thank you” I say quickly because I couldn’t bare to walk into this house so I extend the album towards them. “I threw Eric a birthday party and Dylan was there as well. Then we met at prom and there where a lot of pictures taken. Many of which have Dylan on them” Sue’s hand goes up to her mouth. “I’ve placed them in an album for you and some of Eric and Dylan’s friends to give before we leave” I tell them.

Tom takes the album from my hands and I feel my heart growing heavy for them and their loss. This was their Sunshine boy. “Thank you, that is very kind of you” his father says in a soft manner.

“You’re welcome, I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. Dylan was a great guy and Eric misses him a lot.” I say to them. That’s when Sue turns around to walk back inside. Scared I did something wrong I say “I am so sorry I didn't mean to overwhelm mrs Klebold” to Tom feeling tears well up in my eyes.

“I don’t think that’s why she left, she’s getting you something I imagine” Tom says. “Something for you and Eric” and right as he finished that sentence mrs Klebold is back with an envelop. She smiles at me and says “I’m glad we now know who this belongs to. It’s for you and Eric. I wanted to give it to Eric before but I didn't recognise the other name so I wasn’t sure what to do” her gentle voice rattles. 

Frowning I take the envelope from her hands and when I see Eric and my name written down in Dylan’s handwriting I feel my heart sink in my chest. “Oh my god” I say out loud. My eyes never leaving the envelope.

“He left a few envelopes with some of his things in it for certain friends.” mrs Klebold tells me. I look up at her and feel a powerful sadness wash over me. “You said we were leaving, who is we and where to?” Sue continues. My hands start to tremble softly and my voice breaks when I say “Eric is coming with me to Europe”.

“Oh for summer break?” Tom asks.

“No sir, he got a job offer with my uncle and dad. He wanted to take it” I say as we agreed with Eric parents. We’d tell people he got a job offer as Eric’s reason to leave. They look at each other and then back to me.

“Thank you so much for this album.” Tom says. I smile and Sue says “please take good care of what’s in that envelope” 

“I promise, I’ll keep it safe.” looking at the envelope in my hands I remember Dylan’s service. “Dylan’s funeral was honorable to his memory and I can’t help but feel like I’ve known him for years even though I knew him for such a short period of time.” I tell his parents while they have no idea what the full meaning of my words entails, they both look at me with an appreciative smile as I share this with them. “I hope that wherever it is that we go after this life that he’s happy. I wish with all my heart that he is” I say trying to fight my tears “and I hope that one day your family can be happy again as well.” I feel a tear roll over my cheek as I smile and think of Dylan’s smile. 

“Thank you for all of this” his mother says and his father nods in agreement. A greeting and a smile follows before I turn around to walk back to my car. The envelope burning in my hands. Back in my car I see the Klebolds close the door and go back in. So many things I wanted to tell them, but I couldn’t. Now looking at the envelope again I feel like I should wait for Eric to open it so I place it on the seat next to me and drive to my hotel room for the last night here. 

** 

Jack opens the door with a sleepy face after I’ve knocked on it repeatedly. 

“Y/n are you okay?” he asks while I walk right past him and into his suite.

“Nope I can’t get a grip on myself. Everything that happened in the past weeks keep choking me up and when I have a second of peace Eric’s parents creep up into my head” I say to Jack as I sit on his couch resting my tired head on my hands. It’s well after midnight and I haven’t slept for a minute. 

“Why don’t you come in” he says as he closes the door.

“No jokes, I’m not in the mood” I tell him.

“Water?” he asks me.

“No thanks” 

“Alcohol?” 

“Yes please. No wait. No I shouldn’t.” and I let myself sink back into the couch with a grunt of frustration. “I’ll get drunk real good when I’m home again” 

“Ah my pride and joy talking about getting shitfaced. I’m such a lucky uncle” Jack mocks as he sits down next to me pushing my legs off the couch forcing me to sit properly.

“What. Did. I. Just. Say.” I ask Jack giving him my best death stare as I sit back up straight. He looks at me with his beautiful big dark eyes and all I want is for him to tell me I’ll be okay soon enough. 

“Come on, you know you’ll pull through. Tell me what did you do before you came here? You were too upset to talk earlier but you seem fine now” he says with a teasing smile. I feel like there is a little angel on my right shoulder that tells me to talk to my uncle and a devil on the left saying fuck it all just stay upset. I guess that I’ll know who wins me over when I open my mouth.

“I went to Dylan Klebold’s parents” I say reluctantly letting the angel win. 

“You did what, please tell me I’m not gonna be called in the office as soon as I set foot back home to talk about my niece breaking protocol?” Jack asks more concerned than anything. 

“You won’t be summoned by the council, don’t worry. I made an album with pictures of their son, I made it for a couple of Eric’s friends as well. I just feel like I failed Dylan and I’ve been trying to find ways to make up for it but I can’t. I was so consumed by my way in with Eric over the connection that I left Dylan to fend for his own and it hurts so fucking bad” I say to my uncle who is listening to my every word with care and compassion in his eyes. “He left something for me and Eric” 

“What did he leave you?” Jack asks me.

“I don’t know, I keep pretending I want to wait for Eric to open it but frankly it’s because I’m terrified to see what’s inside. What if it’s something awful?” I ask Jack hoping he can calm my nerves because I sure lack the ability to do so right now. 

Jack breathes out loudly before he says “well did he seem like he’d do something like that?” 

“I’m tempted to say no but Dylan was a walking contradiction” I say as honest as I can. Jack thinks about what I said.

“Yes, from what I’ve read Dylan seemed very out of touch with himself. You do know none of it matters though?” Jack says with a raised eyebrow.

“How so?” I ask him feeling overcome by my sadness and how tired I am.

“Because tomorrow, or no wait, today we go back home and you get to bring the boy you seem to be so fond off with you. Dylan is gone and I can’t change that, I’m sorry. The only way to go from here though is forward.” Jack reasons with me. 

“You’re right, I know that. It’s just been so much the past weeks. I need to really clear my head back home when I have the time to do so. I’m leaving to get Eric at 6:30 so if I try I can maybe sleep for 3 hours.” I say more to myself then to Jack. 

“You do that and then I’ll do the same. Now get off of the couch and let me sleep.” Jack says.

“What?” 

“We both know you’re jumping in the bed here and I’ll sleep on the couch.” he says as he gets a pillow for himself. I smile at him and go give him a hug. “Thank you” I say before I drop my exhausted body onto the bed to get just under 3 hours of sleep before I wake up sweating from a horrible nightmare. I jump out of the bed and hear Jack already in the shower. I knock on his door to tell him I’m leaving to go to my room and get ready to go get Eric. Going down to my room I open it and see my bags and everything all ready. The envelope that had me waking up in a sweat over what is in it standing firm against the side of my black bag. I take the clean clothes I had already laid out for myself. My black skinny jeans that will soon feel a lot less out of place and Eric’s Rammstein shirt. After a quick hot shower I get changed and dry my hair a little before I hear a knock on my door. That must be Jack to go over something probably. 

I open the door with a swing but in it isn’t Jack that I see standing there. It’s Eric, he looks absolutely miserable with a thin red line around his eyes. My vocal cords fail me and I end up just pulling him in my room and into my arms. I break the hug to let my hands run up to the sides of his face to kiss him. His lips are gentle against mine. The kiss sends shivers down my spine. When he pulls back with the sound of a breaking kiss I look at him with a worried smile on my face. “I couldn’t stay home any longer. I had to leave.” he says with a voice that doesn’t even sound like his. Nodding I take his hand and walk towards the bed with him. I hate to tell him about the envelope but he’s going to spot it sooner or later.

“Eric I need to tell you something” I say before I start to tell him all about my visit to the Klebold residency yesterday, about the album I gave them and finally I tell him that Dylan had left an envelope with both our names on it.” 

“Where is it? Did you open it?” Eric asks me the second I stopped talking. I get up to get it and sit back down next to Eric. 

“I waited for you” I say to Eric and hand him the envelope, he turns it around in his hands a couple of times and I see the hesitation.

“Fuck it” he eventually says before opening the envelope. Out of it falls Dylan’s zippo on Eric’s lap. Eric and I both look at it with our breaths choked up in our throats. Eric opens it further and pulls out a single piece of paper. Together we read the final words Dylan chose for us.

_ “Eric I was a dick sorry about that. Have my zippo. _

_ Y/n I’m glad you did end up telling him.  _

_ My parents gave me life it’s up to me what I do with it. So don’t feel sorry or be bitches about it cause there’s nothing either of you could have done. Don’t fucking dare ruin what you have together”  _

For a while we sit there in silence, my eyes are staring holes through the piece of paper and Eric keeps turning the zippo around between his fingers. 

“I don’t know what to say” I tell Eric honestly.

“Yeah what the hell is there to say, I just want to put my fucking fist through the wall.” Eric admits as he finally stops the zippo from spinning. “What does he mean with I’m glad you did end up telling him?” he asks me. 

I start to smile as I think back to Dylan urging me to tell Eric about our connection even though it must have been so hard on him. “Remember when Dylan showed up at my motel room the first time on that Sunday? He guessed that I loved you and when I told him I couldn’t tell you he said that you had a right to know, that I should tell you” When I look at Eric I see he’s blown away by this. “But Dylan didn't know about the full meaning of the connection, just that I loved you before I knew you” 

“Jesus” Eric says as he drops his face in his hands. His shoulders twitch a little before he gets up and a-lines for the bathroom. It breaks my heart that he doesn’t feel comfortable crying but I understand that it’s all just too much for him right now. Just as I’m about to get Eric because it’s almost time he gets out of the bathroom with a freshly washed face and someone knocks on the door. “Is that Jack?” he asks me. 

“Probably yeah, can you open the door?” I say getting up to put my jacket on and get my bags ready. Carefully placing the zippo back in the envelope along with the note. It is indeed Jack and our last car ride in 1999 is about to start. Eric takes my black bag from my hands and I have my shoulder bag and the small bag of clothes that I wanted to bring back with me. The car is already waiting for the three of us. Nervous as hell Eric and I get into the car. Jack a lot more calm sits down next to us. 

“Are you two ready?” Jack asks us. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be” I tell him.

“Hell no” is Eric’s answer making me chuckle when he does.

“Well you have about 15 minutes to get ready before we arrive” Jack says simply. Eric’s brows are raised alarmingly high as he looks at me.

“Easy peasy” I tell him before I burst out laughing. Eric doesn’t laugh he just looks at his hands.

“I’m going to the future” Eric states as if he’s talking about running some errands. “That’s my activity today, I’ll walk my way into the future and poof my parents and brother have aged 21 years and I’m still 18.” I look at Eric as he says all this. He looks back with a big smile “I’m sorry I have to say all this because when do people ever get to say this, hell I don’t think I can believe it until I see a newspaper with the date on top of it” this makes Jack laugh.

“Yeah it’s a unique day” Jack tells Eric.

“Wow I can’t even remember when I last read a newspaper. If I ever have even” I say thinking out loud.

“Newspapers are gone?” Eric asks with his voice raised a little and big eyes. I start to laugh again.

“No they still exist it’s just. Everything is online so” and I shrug.

“For the youngsters that is, I still get my news papers every day” Jack says sounding like a grandfather. 

“Oh right those little pocket computers with movies on it. I need to get one of those so I can tap the screen and then press the circle.” Eric says licking his lips as he remembers our little moment with my phone. 

“Even though it’s going to be one hell of a challenge for you to try to keep up with 21 years of change in a small amount of time I think it’s also going to be hilarious” I say looking out the window trying to soak up the last bits of 1999 as we go on our way. Not soon after we arrive at the location that on the outside looks like a plain building but on the inside holds something far less innocent. Stepping into the building Eric and I keep a tight hold of each others hands. Only when they have to run their test do we let go of each other. Blood Pressure and things like that are required to know if your body is up to it that day or if a few waiting days are required. Thank god that isn’t necessary, our leave is scheduled in less than an hour. Work Jack comes to meet Eric and me to explain the last few things.

“Mr Harris, mrs Le Temps I would like to go through the final steps of our departure from the year 1999.” he says poised as ever. 

At the same time Eric and I say “yes sir”. 

“Very well, you two both know what is about to happen and all papers are signed. The test results where all in perfect condition so there is nothing stopping us from going through with this. The three of us will be escorted into the room where there is nothing but a single door. We walk through that door and while we will think and feel it’s a short amount of time we are walking, our bodies will have traveled 21 years into the future. We keep walking until we see the door with the sign of our company on it, the black oval with three dots in it. When we open that door and walk those final steps we will enter the year 2020. There we will be received by a team that is specialized in welcoming time travelers. They will explain to us how it will all go from there. That team will lead us through the first steps each of us has to make before we can leave. Think about things like our bodies acclimating after the travel and for you mr Harris also a few steps extra so you will not be completely overwhelmed by all that will be new to you. We have already discussed this before. Is this all clear?” Jack asks us while the team to prepare us comes in.

“Yes sir” I tell him.

“Yes mr Le Temps, it’s all understood” Eric answers.

“Good, then we will prepare to leave” Jack says standing up and so do we. Eric and I hold onto each others hands as if our lives depend on it. Eric turns to me and whispers “how is it gonna look, where we walk I mean”.

“It’s going to look like a very bright room with high walls but it seems endless, or so it feels until we reach the door. It’s very strange and I remember clearly how afraid I felt because of how quiet it was” I tell him in a hushed tone. 

“Great that doesn’t sound scary at all. How long did it take you to walk through it?” he asks curious.

“It felt short like minutes but in all honesty I felt so scared which made it feel longer.” and I look at his annoyed expression “sorry that’s not much help” 

“I’m so fucking nervous” Eric says a little too loud, Jack turns around and looks at us. “Sorry sir” Eric says apologetic.

“No need to be sorry mr Harris I understand your questions and nerves very well. I have done this more than once and it’s still nerve wracking every time. Which is healthy, time travelling should not be considered as something easy.” Jack comes to a halt in a room full of people. “We are here, the final preparations will be done in here together and then we will walk through the next door and come into the room with the single door. Through which we will travel through time.” 

“Miss Le Temps come this way please, mr Harris you may follow as well” a lady tells us. “This is where you part for now. Mr Le Temps will go first, then mr Harris and our final traveller will be miss Le Temps.” she tells us. Jack nods and gets the medication you need to take in order to be able to go. Then he takes the small bag he has with him, loops the bag over his shoulder and turns to Eric and me.

“Now comes the hardest part. I will take my leave and wait for the both of you on the other side. No hesitation, keep walking. Remember what the both of you have learned.” he says with a stern voice.

“Yes sir” Eric says with a straight back as the son of a major. 

“Mr Le Temps, we will meet back home.” I tell him. Jack nods and gives me a small smile before he turns around and opens the door, we catch a glimpse of the other room. He closes the door behind him and the people in the room watch a big screen that Eric and I can’t see. 

“Confirmed” a lady says as she walks back to me and Eric. “Mr Harris, please take these.” and she hands him the medicine. “Mr Le Temps is expected in the year 2020 in just over 70 seconds. As soon as we have confirmation of his save arrival, you will go through the door and then through the next. Miss Le Temps will follow as soon as we have it confirmed that you have also arrived in the year 2020.” she explains to Eric as she hands him the small tray with the medicine.

His hands tremble but he doesn’t hesitate to take the medicine.

“Take the pill Neo” I say doing the voice of Morpheus. Eric shakes his head as he swallows. “You’re unbelievable” he says with a voice I hardly recognise. 

“Mr Le Temps has arrived. Get ready for mr Harris to departure” a man's voice comes from behind the screen. Eric and I look at each other and his eyes turn really big. Then we hug and I whisper in his ear “it’s okay, this is the last time we will be separated by time. I love you” 

Eric’s arms squeeze me tight “I love you” he tells me. Then he lets me go and nods at the man that is next to him. Eric opens the door to his future and lets out a sharp breath. He looks back at me for a brief moment, nods his head and turns around. Just like that, Eric stepped into his new life.

I look at the door and back at the people behind the screen. The longest wait of my life now begins. I see the lady that holds my medicine all ready to come my way. 

“Another 60 seconds until mr Harris is expected on the other side” the man behind the screen says and the lady comes my way with the medicine. The moments I’ve spend in Littleton flash before me. I swallow the medicine and think of the teenagers I’m leaving behind. “Goodbye everyone” I whisper very softly. 

“Mr Harris has arrived safely” is said behind me and I almost cry in relief. I take my bags and look at the door. The lady beside it looks at me for a sign to open it. I nod briefly and she opens the door. I walk in and see the door through which I came weeks ago. My whole body is trembling as I open the door to go back to my own time. To be with my family and my love. The last words I speak in 1999 roll over my lips before I walks back home. 

“I write my own future” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, this story has come to an end. I need you all to know that this story may have ended, their journey together has not! I will be starting a new story that begins in Eric’s new life with the reader in the year 2020.
> 
> I’m not exactly sure when I’ll be starting that story, it may start soon in the same pace as this story has been published in the last weeks, months even but I’m not sure. 
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, it’s been one hell of a ride. Your comments have made me smile, blush and even get emotional. I truly appreciate everything! 
> 
> Also I have decided to take requests! Here are some guidelines that you can hold onto:   
> -Leave your request in a comment, be detailed or not as you wish.   
> -I do not guarantee that I’ll write every request, if I do not have inspiration for what you ask I will not do it or if I do not feel comfortable.  
> -I will open a new page with the title “Requests for Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold” where you can submit your request in the comments.  
> -My own stories will always have my main focus so it can vary how long it will take for me to publish if I told you I’ll write your request.  
> -I will !NOT! write anything about the victims, the massacre, pregnancies, Eric and Dylan with their own kids, about specific family members of either Eric or Dylan. And anything else that I might not be comfortable with.

**Author's Note:**

> Positive feedback is very much appreaciated.


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